Military Review

Polar explorer

The long-awaited summer came to the North, the polar day came. Wives with children departed for relatives on the land of their relatives. The city was almost extinct, only stray dogs and lonely patrols wandered aimlessly through the deserted streets. The combat training for the summer holidays was postponed until the stormy autumn, so that the sailors could bear all the hardships and hardships even more courageously naval Service.

The headquarters was in despondency. The divisional commander, giving valuable instructions, went with his wife to the place where they were on vacation. Behind him, our “chief plowman”, the deputy commander for political affairs, also departed. Other “sea workers” - propagandist, psychologist, etc. - followed him.

The command of the division for this period was assigned to the chief of staff, in common "Vasya". He was a peasant guy, he didn't grab stars from the sky, he honestly pulled his strap, for which the staff respected him. By nature, he was a cheerful man. His favorite saying was: “I would not serve in the fleet, if it weren’t funny!” In this connection, he was very fond of the navy folklore, constantly persecuted all sorts of tales and never missed an opportunity to use his sense of humor in everyday situations.

At that time, a joint graduate of the Academy, nicknamed "Vova - a keen eye", who had served most of the military research institute of St. Petersburg, and decided to smell the naval service by the end of the service, supervised the air defense issues of the compound. In addition to this, he was very naive with a complete lack of a sense of humor, which for a naval man was equivalent to death.

This nickname, with the light hand of Vasya, stuck to him after putting on the work card of the NS in the period of naval exercises, forgetting his glasses at home, and had a great deal of eyesight, Vova made noticeable changes in the disposition of his forces and assets. Perhaps all this would have gotten away with, but then, as luck would have it, the command post of the rear admiral came to the division’s command post, from the fleet headquarters, the man is inherently very meticulous and petty, nicknamed “Bloody dwarf”. The division commander, in accordance with the order of his superiors, according to the exercise plan, departed to the destroyer brigade, and Vasya fell to report on the actions of his forces.

Nothing, not suspecting the NSH began a vigorous report, based on the data mapped by the flagship specialists. Everything went smoothly, but when he reached the air defense forces and means, continuing to read the machine gun on the map in accordance with the designations of the name of the places of deployment, he suddenly realized that the whole situation was applied to the territory of the neighboring state, i.e. our likely adversary. Hearing this nonsense, the admiral started, a malicious smile illuminated the gray walls of the FKP cruiser and the surprised faces of the staff officers. The beating of the baby, in Vasya’s face, lasted for almost an hour, as a result of putting up “unsuccessful” actions of the division’s command post, the Blood dwarf with a sense of fulfilled duty departed to our neighbors in search of another victim.

I will not give the words that Vasya expressed to the head of air defense, but the most innocent of them were the “keen eye”. After this incident, this nickname stuck forever to the newly-made academician.

Vasya couldn’t forget this case of humiliation in front of the whole staff, as there were thousands of miles he walked behind, ten combat services and 21 a year on iron, and here he was an academic who didn’t smell the sea. In his witty soul, a plan for revenge lurked, and at the first opportunity that stood out, Vasya decided to bring it to life.

The scale of this event was supposed to cover a lot of people, but only a few especially trusted representatives from among the flagships were devoted to its very essence.

The first violin of this draw was to be a signalman, who was to prepare a special form of the ZAS telegram, with a pre-agreed text, a sort of scenario of intended vengeance. In addition to this, the chief of intelligence, navigator and combat training were involved.

After the evening report, a group of conspirators gathered in Vasya’s cabin to agree on an action plan. From the side of this event resembled a painting by Ilya Repin "The Cossacks write a letter to the Turkish Sultan." The polar sun slowly rolled across the horizon from west to east, with its rays illuminating the gray masses of ships frozen at berths, ready to leave the place with all their horsepower, at the very first command. This idyll was broken only by the cries of cormorants frightened by wild laughter coming from the cabin of the NS flagship cruiser. By midnight, the plan was ready and the flagship was dropping home, in full readiness for the upcoming act of vengeance.

The morning came the next day. On the ships the horns resounded, flags were raised, the usual naval weekdays began.

At the appointed time, the full headquarters gathered in the flagship salon for a five-minute morning. After listening to the daily report of the operational duty officer on the status of the division, Vasya gave the floor to the intelligence chief. The report, unlike similar ones, was brief, but in its content forced to wake up the forever dozing old gray-haired rocket launcher. The bottom line was as follows, the situation in the Arctic sharply worsened, especially in the area of ​​our polar station "North Pole - 22". Frequent flights aviation a potential adversary, with clearly expressed provocative goals aimed at disrupting the expedition, which could subsequently significantly affect the development of wealth hidden under ice, up to the blockade of the Northern Sea Route. Then the navigator reported the weather, stopping in detail at the wintering area of ​​our polar explorers. After him, the floor was given to combat training. The headquarters was given a plan for preparatory exercises aimed at developing the division’s forces in polar waters. Next, the first violin came into play ...

Signaler out of turn asked for the word. From his report it became clear that the FAS telegram under the heading "Rocket" had arrived at our address from the fleet commander. Vasya, as a senior in the division, personally read it to the staff officers. This circular prescribed, within 24 hours, as soon as the telegram arrived, urgently, to assign the air defense chief to the head of the North Pole 22 expedition, with the task of ensuring the protection of air lines in the specified area. His departure was supposed to be on board one of the icebreakers, also following in the area to ensure the escort of a convoy of ships with equipment, equipment and personnel to perform the task of the Arctic air defense. The icebreaker was supposed to go to pier No.-7, pick up a seconded officer with all his property and leave to the location of the polar station.
Hearing this message, the rocketman finally woke up and for the first time in the last five years showed a keen interest in what is happening. The headquarters buzzed like a beehive, before the beginning of the honey harvest, all eyes were fixed on the lucky one.

We must pay tribute to Vasya, knowing the whole background of this telegram, not a single muscle on his face weathered by all the seas and oceans wavered. The scout, navigator, signalman and combat training, barely suppressing laughter, exchanged glances among themselves. The show began !!!

Any naval officer, faithfully and truly, having served at least five years on iron and, having gone through fire, water and copper pipes of the naval service, would immediately suspect a trick in this, but Vova, a keen eye, was a man distant from the sea. He got up and loudly at the entire salon flagship, said:
- There is! Serving the Fatherland!

The rocketman, who was sitting next to him, shook himself even more and looked round at our hero. The scout, barely constraining laughter, slowly slid under the table. The first phase of the plan was successfully completed. Misinformation was taken at face value; Vasya, in his heart, celebrated victory. It was necessary to move to the second phase.

Through the operational duty officer, the saloon was called by the chief officer of the flagship cruiser. Due to the fact that the division headquarters was floating, the officers for all types of allowances stood on it. A senior mate, a classmate of combat training in the school, devoted to the secrets of the Madrid court was ready to act according to the plan.

His actions were as follows. On the basis of the WAS telegram, the ship's service, had to provide the hero of the polar defense with everything necessary to accomplish the task.

This list, also compiled by the conspirators, included:
- Army coat - 2 pcs .;
- Felt boots - 4 pairs;
- Cotton blankets - 2 pcs .;
- warm underwear - 4 set;
- Mittens warm - 4 pairs;
- Military skis with sticks - 2 pairs;
- Naval binoculars - 2 pcs .;
- Army helmet - 2pcs .;
- Sapper shovel - 2pcs .;
- Army bowler - 2pcs;
- Army flask - 2pcs;
- Beef stew - 2 box;
- Braised pork - 2 box;
- Condensed milk - 2 box;
- Biscuits - 2 boxes;
- Macaroni - 2 boxes;
- Dried fruits - 2 bag.

After all that he heard and saw, the life of the headquarters came to life. The headquarters began to vigorously discuss this event, the youth even envied Vova. The rocketman, completely throwing off the charm of Morpheus as an old hunter and lover of trophies, the tenth was telling the mechanics about his meeting with a polar bear on Novaya Zemlya during the period of nuclear tests. weapons. The flagship doctor gave advice on the best means of frostbite and sore throat, the navigator KPUNIA asked Vasya to also send them to the North Pole, as an inseparable part of the air defense. The flagship muscle loudly argued to a miner, a lover of skiing, that in the Arctic, the best way to lubricate skis would be seal fat. In the far corner of the flagship salon, the signalman and the navigator unsuccessfully tried to pull the dying scout out from under the table, and the combat training, using its strong build, tried to cover this group of conspirators from prying eyes. Vasya, with a sense of complete satisfaction, watched this revival. The third phase, the most revealing one, was coming, which was to completely remove the shame from the gray hair of the old sea-wolf.

With honor, he performed the task set before him, for which he received the necessary signatures of the flags and Vasya himself in the test list for the right to independently control the cruiser.

Vova - a keen eye, in a short time, was fully equipped and equipped with everything necessary. All property and equipment was raised from the storerooms and stacked in a pile on the poop of the flagship cruiser. In addition to this, the navigator provided Vova with navigation maps, for which he put them in the largest tube that they could find on the ships of the division. The communications operator for these purposes did not regret the backup radio station P-105, which he valued very much and never allowed anyone to it. Combat training immediately hoisted it on the shoulders of the defender of the Arctic. The sight was still that.
This event massively attracted the attention of the flagship crew, people slowly began to accumulate on the poop around the flagpole. Occurred began to be interested in neighboring ships. Everything went according to plan.

Understanding perfectly well that one person couldn’t drag all this belongings, by Vasya’s order, a duty unit was allocated, which in a matter of minutes delivered all of the above property to the root of berth No.-7, to the waiting area of ​​the icebreaker’s approach. Vova, with a radio station behind his shoulders and a tube on his shoulder, barely dragged himself to the waiting area for landing on the icebreaker. Closely after examining everything, he sat on the stew boxes and, armed with one of his binoculars, began to wait in the wings.

It was a fine sunny day. Light sea breeze, lazily fluttering flags on ships, refreshingly bursting into the smoky cabin of the chief of staff of the division. Vasya was waiting for the culminating moment of the planned event, the passage through the icebreaker raid. The base of the icebreaker fleet was located a little further along the bay, right behind the cape, on which the fuel and lubricants warehouses were located, and it was impossible to bypass the naval berths.

The day rolled to sunset. Cormorants with a piercing cry over Vovina’s head, as if trying to test the reliability of the air defense system, skillfully bombarded the place where our hero dislocated with products of sea creatures, striving to hit the target. Officers, warrant officers and sailors routinely hurried through their urgent matters, completely unaware of the events unfolding here. Naval day was in full swing, but there was still no icebreaker.

On the bridge of operational logging of the flagship, at the height of a five-storey building, led by Vasya, there was an entire group of conspirators. They were waiting too! Time flowed inexorably forward.

Signals of the forge and the “Dinner” command sounded on the ships, free shifts of officers and midshipmen of ships left for the gathering, a little earlier in the direction of the apartment houses the officers of the division headquarters proceeded. Another day in the remote sea garrison came to an end. Vova - a keen eye, through the eyepieces of his binoculars intensely peered into the sea distance in the hope of seeing the long-awaited ship. The horizon was clear, only the bulk of the aircraft carrier frozen on the roadstead and the barges scattered from it to the berths filled the serene seascape.

Realizing that today there will no longer be an icebreaker, and the majority of the spectators were leaving the conspirators decided to postpone the last episode of their plan for the next day. Vova was sent home, on the basis of a new telegram ZAS on postponing the time of departure, and at the root of the berth, the watch of the most prepared midshipmen was put up. In order to ensure the safety of property from damage to cormorants flying over it and possible precipitation, it was covered with a new tarpaulin, with tears in its eyes, allocated for this purpose by the main boatswain of the flagship cruiser.

A new day has come. The entire headquarters was assembled. Five minutes, in accordance with the title for the first time in all history Division passed in five minutes. Vigorous discussion continued on the eve of the event. The rocketman brought photos of his hunting trophies and once again told the yawning flagship RTS about his meeting with the polar bear. Miner and the athlete, again arguing about the benefits of ointments for skis, considering some kind of import catalog on this topic. Mechanics loudly discussed the ability of generators to work in extreme conditions of the Arctic. About the former despondency was not the question.

Vasya urgently assembled a military council of conspirators in his cabin. Time passed, the climax was postponed indefinitely. Combat training was urgently instructed, through its own channels, to find out information on icebreakers. The plan for revenge was in jeopardy.

In 8.00, Vova was again on duty. Taking on the inventory from the watch midshipman the property entrusted to him and picking up binoculars, he again fixed his eyes on the tip of the cape. Life on the ships went on as usual. Walked hour after hour, and the sea surface remained empty. Gradually, curious officers from neighboring officers began to appear, as well as nearby ships. Time talking, for Vova flew faster.

The situation repeated again, there was no icebreaker. Everyone was tired of waiting, except for cormorants, who with some special zeal wrote pirouettes over tarpaulin-covered boxes and boxes. So the next day passed. In the evening, the next change of midshipmen began protecting the property.

The next morning began with the good news. Combat training, through its own channels, broke through the information that today, from 15.00 to 16.00, the icebreaker “Arktika” is heading north along the bay. The final finale revenge cat Leopold!

There was a negative. Scout pierced. Yesterday, in the evening, sitting at a friendly cup of tea with the flagship RTS and EW, he could not keep the secret, and the essence of the conspiracy became known to most of the headquarters. A military town, this is the same small village, so a rumor about sending the division’s air defense chief to the North Pole over the past evening spread throughout the squadron. The last one was devoted to this rocket man, who for a long time was indignant about such an attitude towards honored veterans of the fleet.

The time "H" was near, the crews of the ships, in accordance with the schedule of the day on the signal "Big collection" were built on the upper deck for a divorce in classes and work. The headquarters in full force occupied the bridge of operational logging and waited.

Having had a good lunch, Vova - a keen eye, conveniently located in the shade of a canopy, built of tarpaulin, watch midshipmen, hidden from prying eyes and endless attacks of cormorants, quietly dozing. He had already cursed in his heart, the day when, after graduating from the academy, he refused to return to his native institute, and expressed a desire to continue his service in the current fleet. Morpheus carried our hero farther and farther away from the harsh reality of naval life.

VTR - 137 in the people nicknamed "Aquarius", having finished refueling the destroyer with water, gave moorings and, having issued a drawn-out beep, rolled off from its side.

Vova slept. He was far from all this fuss. Before his eyes was Peter, with its wide avenues and palaces. He, without haste, after the service went along the Neva. Past quietly rustling tires, cars rushed by. At home he was waited by a special recipe for mother's borscht with dumplings. Life is a success!

Tearing loud roar of hearing, returned Vova to reality. The aquarius passed by the root of the mooring No.-7, giving a sound signal, and a red-black icebreaker hulk rose behind it in the direction towards access to the sea.

Vova was covered with cold sweat, sleep was gone. "I overslept everything, they did not wait for me," flashed through his mind. The ship was slowly removed, leaving aside a white breaker on the wake.

It was necessary to do something urgently! Without hesitation, Vova grabbed one of the ski poles, threw off his cream shirt, tightening the knot with a sharp movement, and threw it over his head.

The first revival at the root of the pier, said the old rocket, who lost in recent days all interest in sleep. Shouting "started", he drew general attention to what is happening. Headquarters froze in anticipation of the climax.

At the root of the berth, an action resembling footage from Leonid Gaidai’s famous film “Diamond Hand” was performed, only instead of shouts: - “Lyolik I'm here!”, Rushed over the bay: “Comrades !!! Come back !!! ”. The cormorants, who did not expect such a drastic intervention in their measured life, in a panic scattered across the neighboring garbage cans.

The figure waving around the jetty, waving a cream shirt, could not but attract the crews on the upper deck of the ships standing nearby. Now the entire squadron watched the scene. Vasya, standing on the bridge, did not hide his pleasure, revenge was a success. The icebreaker gradually disappeared behind the island and melted in the fog.

At this very time, a squadron commander was returning from the meeting at the fleet commander, through the second checkpoint at the UAZ headquarters. The day did not ask, the fleet fleet expressed its displeasure with the course of preparing the aircraft carrier for combat service, plus the UBP chief, complained that so far he did not have a copy of the plan for the upcoming autumn exercise promised at the last meeting.

The car drove into the territory of the military camp. Suddenly, a man rushed across from her, waving something bright. The driver hit sharply on the brakes, UAZ got rooted to the spot. A cap came off his head, and he hit his head painfully, through the glass, the crazy eyes of a half-naked man were gazing right at him, saying the same words: - “I will justify my trust, send me to the pole!”

Debriefing was not long! Vova was urgently taken to hospital, to heal shaky nerves. After health reasons, he was written off from the seafarers and sent to serve in his native institute in St. Petersburg. All property was returned to the storerooms, except for six cans of stew, which was eaten by watch midshipmen. Senior mate cut off on the scoring in the squadron. The flagship rocket pilot, after his years of service, retired to the reserve and left for Altai, where he is rumored to hunt hares and tell everyone about his only meeting with the polar bear.

Vasya received a reprimand. The headquarters was placed on the organizational period. The divisional commander was immediately recalled from vacation. The “chief plowman” and the “workers of the sea”, as always, completely spent their summer vacations.

Summer was coming to an end, the service was in normal mode. Wives with children, rested and gaining strength, were returning from their native lands to the beginning of the school year. Autumn was approaching, it was time to gather mushrooms and naval exercises.

So ended the epic of the organization of the protection of the air borders of the North Pole. Only the chief boatswain from the flagship cruiser, for a long time, the cormorants, who for three days have ruined the 16 square meters of the new tarpaulin, are still a long time.

After this incident, Vasya got the nickname "POLARNIK".
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  1. Aleks tv
    Aleks tv 25 October 2013 12: 25
    Yeah. Aerobatics joke ...
    The scale was impressive.

    Thanks to the author for the story.
  2. saygon66
    saygon66 25 October 2013 13: 19
    -Great! Truly naval scope!
  3. RoTTor
    RoTTor 26 October 2013 02: 07
    They foolishly tormented like salabons. From idleness? I was not ashamed?
    1. Aleks tv
      Aleks tv 27 October 2013 12: 26
      Quote: RoTTor
      Wasn't it a shame?

      Yes, just drowned in shame.
      And the IMF, and the Air Force and SV ...
      Everyone was ashamed of your koment.
      1. Aleks tv
        Aleks tv 27 October 2013 22: 35
        Quote: Aleks tv
        Yes, just drowned in shame.

        I just don't understand the minusers ...
        The people that - did not serve in the Army and does not know what is ARMY HUMOR ??

        This cannot be explained to civilians. Useless.

        And in this story - this is a tough and sophisticated aerobatics.
        Moreover, made with great risk for their own epaulettes.
      2. 505506
        505506 14 November 2013 09: 33
        Perhaps this is Vova.
    2. The comment was deleted.
  4. StolzSS
    StolzSS 26 October 2013 15: 33
    Five points !!! Taking off my hat hi
  5. moremansf
    26 October 2013 16: 09
    From the author - a humorous story, collective images, but based on facts, of course there are partial exaggerations, to complete the plot. It was written primarily for those who served in the Navy, where naval humor is inextricably linked with the service ...
  6. Polovec
    Polovec 31 October 2013 18: 02
    Quote: RoTTor
    They foolishly tormented like salabons. From idleness? I was not ashamed?

    I think it was not! But you do not understand ...
  7. AnpeL
    AnpeL 5 November 2013 07: 41
    heartily laugh))) good
  8. coserg 2012
    coserg 2012 10 November 2013 21: 20
    2 division of OVR? So your berths began with 8go. And so it will be a little messy.
  9. Artyom
    Artyom 27 November 2013 23: 07
    who served in the army - he doesn’t laugh in the circus
  10. sop.ov
    sop.ov 12 February 2014 19: 10
    Quote: coserg 2012
    2 division of OVR? So your berths began with 8go. And so it will be a little messy.

    5-6 were behind the destroyer brigade, 7 - the BOD division and all sorts of aliens, 8 - TARK "Kirov" (later "Kalinin" and "Ustinov" and landing on a traveling launch)
    1. moremansf
      19 February 2014 21: 59
      Not quite so ... 4-5 destroyers, 6-BOD, 7 - cruisers, 8 - the rest ...