Results of the week. The American dream is periodically interrupted by self-promotion ...
Part I. "Life is beautiful, despite the shortcomings"
Belarusian aerial
4 July of this year exactly on the day of independence of one of the most fraternal independent states of the world for Alexander Lukashenko, that is, the United States, and exactly the next day after the celebration of Belarusian independence itself, it was reported that from the territory of neighboring Lithuania into the sky of Belarus "jumped" light engine aircraft. On board the aircraft were Swedish pilots who decided to conduct an extravagant landing operation. From the Belarusian sky to the Belarusian land flew teddy bears, which in their teddy paws were holding plates with inscriptions about the need to respect freedom of speech and freedom of assembly.
The action seems to be fun, and the pilots, judging by the photos presented later in bear masks, are still merry, but only after a recent “fun” operation with Turkish pilots, “humorists” who brought the Turkish plane to the Syrian sky, could the Swedes say hello The Syrian military units of the air defense units turned out to be people with little understanding of air humor, and therefore they reflexively pressed the big red button, showing that it was one step from ridiculous to great.
The Belarusian fighters serving the air defense systems seem to be more susceptible to the influence of comic sketches from NATO countries, and therefore the Swedish pilots, albeit with wet extensions of their backs, but still safe and sound, after the “amphibious operation” carried out, they safely retreated to that the side from which they came to congratulate the father.
Naturally, after the “plush landing” in Belarus, a scandal erupted, because the Belarusian air defense covers not only their own territory, but also are the western shield of the union state. Understanding that the continuations and their backs are becoming wet, the Belarusian generals, who, by the way, received their new shoulder straps with big stars from the president the day before, decided to respond in their own way to the Swedish expansion. Like, guys, what are you talking about? There was no Swedish aircraft plying the expanses of the Belarusian skies, but there was only a rough and unsuccessful provocation on the ground. Someone supposedly scattered these “plush oppositionists” of a bear family and tribe in advance, and the flight of a single-engine plane from the territory of Lithuania to the territory of the Republic of Belarus was simply “photo-foxed” in full.
It is noteworthy that all the generals involved in the castle in the sky of Belarus without exception said in one voice that it really was Photoshop and in some places even video editing. Apparently, Belarusian generals are well versed in computer graphics and multimedia applications.
The Belarusian high-ranking border guards also denied the flight, stating that there was no crossing of the Belarusian air border, otherwise the Belarusian border guards would have recorded the fact of their crossing, because the quote “border guards conduct round-the-clock visual monitoring of the airspace”.
With this “visual control” everything somehow fogs out: either the generals force the ordinary border guards, who rub their eyes with their fists, to peer for hours at the sky, or they are handed out using nominal binoculars with lenses that sweat from continuous operation. But still they did not inspect it, because the lenses were too sweaty. But local residents paid attention to the “landing operation”.
And after all, a strange thing turns out: if neither the frontier guards nor the air defense system saw the Swedish plane, and ordinary Belarusian citizens saw it, then it might already smell like mass hallucination, or the fact that those who saw it were members of the mass flash bear mob .
Well, what about us? Of course, we would be better off if the Swedish flight was really a “photo-toad”, because it’s somehow offensive to marry a country that is once again worried by representatives of a small foreign country. aviation. And then you have to write out under the humanitarian aid program the Syrian Air Defense Forces, who are able to distinguish between a neutral sky and their own sky, which means they can also see someone else's plane in this very sky ...
Magnitsky Rubber List
They continue to look for a worthy response to the law on NGOs adopted by the State Duma during the week by excessively active Russian oppositionists. Understanding that now they will have to not only take the "money" from their foreign patrons, but also account for its spending on Russian citizens, the so-called non-system oppositionists began to literally dig the ground in order to "revenge" for the offended themselves.
Friends, comrades Boris Nemtsov and Garry Kasparov, using the political promptness of the first and the chess logic of the latter, decided to ask the US Senate, which is finalizing the famous Magnitsky list, to modify it so that it also includes people who force non-profit organizations to report on spending " sponsorship "funds.
In order to arouse more tearful pity in their American protégés, Nemtsov and Kasparov went to a private meeting with congressmen, where they gave them their petition along with reporting video materials about the march of millions. In a petition, US lawmakers were able to see proposals coming from Nemtsov and Kasparov to include such persons in the Magnitsky list as the head of the Investigative Committee Alexander Bastrykin, the head of the CEC Mr. Churov, the judge Olga Borovkova, as well as the roll list of the heads of the Department of Internal Affairs, riot police, investigators , prosecutors and others. Perhaps there was also a secret part of the list, in which Garry Kimovich attempted to bring the computer to Deep Blue, which he had lost in due time, and Anatoly Karpov - just to remember that the “old friend” is always on his tail.
It is not yet clear whether US lawmakers are ready to take advantage of such attractive offers from Boris Yefimovich and Garry Kimovich about the Russian reality, but it is clear that the US Senate has fixed its democratizing gazes towards the Independent Ukraine. According to a number of senators preoccupied with the problems of distant countries, it’s time to cool down the fervor of Viktor Yanukovych, to whom, it turns out, Washington has long given some promises, but he doesn’t accept these promises. He told the American senators that it was time to start doing something with Viktor Fedorovich, Mr. Kramer, who heads the human rights organization Freedom House. This very Kramer declared that Yanukovych is “Putinizing” Ukraine, and therefore must be subjected to a democratic scourge.
So, Viktor Fedorovich, as well as members of his large family, should also think about which banks should keep their savings, because Magnitsky’s list can accept his last name - he’s the (list) they have rubber ...
Nowhere to retreat - the terms of Moscow
They have rubber lists, we have a rubber capital. During the week Moscow increased in size 2,4 times, and doubts about the fact that it was made of gutta-percha material disappeared even from the most ardent skeptics. At the same time, the density of the metropolitan population, with all its officials, businessmen, confused, oppositionists and migrant workers, fell by more than 2 times. Now Moscow has a weighty territorial appendix in the direction of the south-west of the Moscow Region, which 148 lost thousands of hectares overnight.
Now it seems clear why Sergei Shoigu from the ministerial post was sent to the governors near Moscow. Obviously, they expected him to save the Moscow region from such an emergency, but Sergei Kuzhugetovich, apparently, finally released his brainchild - the Ministry of Emergency Situations - to float freely and will now be the head of the region, who was fairly soon circumcised.
For natural reasons, the new lands of Moscow immediately jumped in price. Some enterprising "new Muscovites" were able to sell to the old Muscovites that which these old Muscovites already had under them. For example, in the Leninsky district, 2 of a plot of land with a total area of 120 ha went under the hammer. And only then, when the sellers had already caught a cold, it turned out that they had already bought these lots for the second time ...
Taking into account that former President Medvedev saw exceptional benefits in the consolidation of the Russian state capital, it is safe to say that now even the removal of moths for that same 101 kilometer for these same butterflies will not be a tragedy, because now even after such a move, they can still remain in the capital ... And after the night moths, towards the 101 kilometer from the beginning of July, according to the plan of the authorities, Moscow offices, deputy offices, and even ministries should stretch, so that Without work, neither one nor the other clearly will not ...
Well, now, after a serious increase in the area of Moscow, it may be that there is a place where the opposition moves in plenty: there are so many vacant lots around - walk yourself, hold a rally, occupy as much as you want.
And local authorities can even be advised to build a cottage settlement named after the Magnitsky list, which is to be settled exclusively by people “restricted to leave the country” with accounts frozen in American banks. And to the village instead of the Mausoleum, then you can drive foreign excursions. New Moscow - new sights! ..
Mail smashed
The fact that the hacker business is alive and well in our country, few doubted even before the publication on the Internet of the correspondence between the governor of the Kirov region Nikita Belykh and the main anti-PZHIVovtsem of Russia Alexei Navalny. But now everyone is finally convinced: if you have at least some involvement in politics, and, moreover, also noted in your time in “solving problems” with all sorts of distilleries and “Kirovles”, then it is better not to talk about these topics via e-mail.
So, during the week, a well-known hacker in Russia with a speaking nickname Hell took and hacked the mail of another well-known Russian for some time, Russian Alexei Navalny. And what did the “hellish” hacker see there? And he saw, as one of the representatives of the governor's corps of the Russian Federation, a man named Nikita Belykh, trying to “get through” to his former adviser in order to complete the unsmited problems.
Due to the fact that our “Results of the Week” can be read by children and pregnant women, we allow ourselves not to give Nikita Yuryevich's correspondence with Alexey Anatolyevich in all details and colors, since in this correspondence there are idiomatic expressions that can offend honor and dignity as children as well as pregnant women. The essence of the correspondence is that the two highly respected gentlemen still can not figure out who, to whom and, most importantly, how much should. At the same time, the Kirov governor is trying to explain to his former comrade that he fell under the corrupting influence of the West and excessively increased his self-esteem, forgetting about his old friends, who see themselves as Nikita Yuryevich.
Immediately after the hard work carried out by hacker Hell, society began to boil. And the greatest boiling, for natural reasons, happened in the camp of those with whom recently Mr. Navalny has been so actively trying to fight - in the party “United Russia”. The party members immediately clutched to the published correspondence with a bulldog grip, and along with it in Navalny with Belykh (or, as it is now fashionable to incline, with Belykh). With the steam from the nostrils, the sailor rushed to work in this direction ... uh, sorry, United Russia Zheleznyak, as well as the senator, for some reason, from the Chelyabinsk region (of course, also United Russia) Ruslan Gattarov. Both recommended Nikita Belykh to resign on his own, but as long as he resigned, they will oversee the conduct of the inspection of the epistolary of Navalny and the Kirov governor.
Nikita Yuryevich himself declares that he doesn’t see anything reprehensible in his correspondence (except, perhaps, those idiomatic expressions), and even independently authorized verification of the spending of budget funds of the Kirov region for the entire period of his governorship. But, apparently, Belykh forgets that the governor’s corps in Russia is almost entirely owned by the United Russia party, and he (Nikita Belykh) creates an “inefficient exception”, and therefore we can expect that soon Nikita Yuryevich will be asked from his post, and in its place they will approve of the crystal cleanliness of a person, of course, from United Russia, not tainted with cooperation with Navalny, so that the statistics do not spoil ...
In this regard, it is worth even to suggest that the hacker Hell can be secretly awarded with some Order of Merit and continue his grain work in this direction. Hackers, they also want to eat ...
And if you see in your open window a flock of pigeons scurrying back and forth, it means that the oppositionists nevertheless decided to abandon the electronic services and switched to pigeon mail at once. But the hawks of overly active United Russia not only sit on the Internet ...
Koichiro, wake up! ..
Once again, the Japanese authorities expressed their indignation at the fact that Dmitry Medvedev paid a visit to the South Kuriles. Like, before going to the Kuril chain, the Russian prime minister had to ask permission from the official Tokyo, they say, you need to understand that the official Tokyo does not recognize the islands of the Russian Federation. And a lot of things were said by the Japanese authorities: from the “cold water tub for bilateral relations” to the “revision of cooperation agreements with Russia”. And the deputy and political scientist Alexei Pushkov, who, like Prime Minister Medvedev, spoke in the spirit that your Japanese insinuations are us to an energy-saving light bulb, so in general through the Internet received a portion of threats from Japanese “samurai” announcing that his name is in “ black list". Are these blacklists divorced for the Russians too much: they scare Magnitsky with the list, then the list of yakuza is thrusting under his nose ...
Recall that Dmitry Medvedev visited the South Kuriles during his Far Eastern tour, and once again stated that the Kuriles are an integral part of Russia, and this part will receive serious assistance from the federal budget. And, judging by the Japanese opinion, he had to ask the highest Tokyo permission three times to fly to Russian land
In this regard, you can imagine the dream of the Japanese authorities about how Vladimir Putin, at a meeting with Dmitry Medvedev, using a spinner phone, dials up to the Japanese Prime Minister Koichiro Gamba and literally on his knees begs him to allow at least one of them to fly to the South Kuriles. But Gemba is adamant: no, they say, that's all, the Kuriles are Japanese! Japan rejoices, samurai in festive clothes arrange processions with synchronous sweeps of swords, yakuza representatives with open faces rush on blued motorcycles along crowded joyous streets of Tokyo, the Japanese capital, and even “Fukushima” pollutes the environment somehow in a festive way ... But ... We must wake up , Mr. Gamba, and buy a map of the world, which is not printed in the printing house of some Yokohama, but, for example, in the international geographical society, where the Southern Kurils have already been in 67 for our country for years.
Koichiro, wake up! ..
Part II. Papuan Justice and American Tragedy
Soup and hottest
In Papua New Guinea, parliamentary elections cannot end. No, the point is not that it is difficult for citizens of this democratic country to decide on their candidates (for 109 seats in the local parliament pretends 3435 independent candidates and representatives of almost fifty parties), and the fact that an emergency occurred recently in the province of Madang.
Local activists, the total number of 12 people, united against sorcerers, who allegedly practiced the “puripuri” magic in the villages. Actually, the sorcerers, whose existence the active Papuans do not approve of, and launched the new movement, which now numbers 500 participants and occupies an intermediate position between the socio-political and the mystical.
The united Papuans from Madang, protesting against witchcraft, but endorsing cannibalism, suspected seven of their fellow citizens to use black magic. These seven - five men and two women - themselves declared themselves sorcerers-healers and behaved badly: they extorted money from sick people. Opponents of magic decided to stop the cheeky attempts at witch extortion. Little by little, the activists of the new movement began to believe that they had supernatural abilities that help them "calculate" the sorcerers, as well as the powers for reprisals.
Local political activist рассказал about the first victim of the believers: “Previously, everything was fine, but now it has turned into a cult, as it were. They killed on the sidelines. They cut out the heart, they cut out his brain, drank his blood. ”
Cannibals remembered who they were and got a taste. Led by local warden 12 activists identified seven sorcerers - and they all ate.
Anthony Vagambi Jr., police commander, сказал: “They began to unite, take to the streets and get rid of the sorcerers. How did they calculate them? In their own words, the sorcerers pointed out to them the spirits. However, soon they went even further and began to eat parts of the bodies of their victims. ”
According to Vagambi, several members of the movement have already admitted eating parts of the bodies of the dead and preparing soup from the victims.
In Papua New Guinea, everyone is afraid of black magic, even deputies and politicians. Therefore, this election will last longer: it takes time for the residents of Madang province to come to their senses and dare to go out of their homes. Police arrested a 29 man, but the cannibal chieftain was never caught.
One local politician сказалthat in the local villages witchcraft thrives. Perhaps, therefore, many sectarians cannibals do not condemn, but, on the contrary, support.
On available in the press information, in addition to the socially active position, expressed in cannibalism, 500 members of the Papuan sect worship ... planes. "Cargo-cult" is expressed in the fact that his followers deify air cargo.
In general, if the next parliamentary elections in New Guinea come to power - in a completely democratic way - the Papua Cargo Cannibal party comes, no need to be surprised. Judicial decisions will be made quickly, and implemented - even faster.
Barack Obama will ruin America
Just as in Russia, “Chubais is to blame for everything,” it seems that the time has come for America’s election to blame Mr. Obama for all the troubles and misfortunes.
The fact is that honest, hardworking and law-abiding Americans began to realize that the great United States of America, which continues to lecture the whole world, how to properly settle down and begin to live, will soon end.
Well, well, many civilizations disappeared from the face of the planet. The USA is not the first and not the last. But if, for example, the Sumerians or the ancient Egyptians did not look for those who were to blame for the collapse of civilization, then it is customary to find political sinners in the modern vengeful world. As a rule, they are not mere mortals, but state leaders who are not able to give the correct answer to a severe challenge. stories.
The United States has been president for three and a half years by the name of Barack Obama. It would seem that this can be done with great America in such a short time? Until Mr. Obama, the United States was governed by Mr. Bush Jr. - with as much as eight years. But this is a man whom psychoanalyst J. Frank recognized as not quite mentally healthy (to put it mildly). Dr. Frank discovered in Bush Jr. dyslexia, paranoia, megalomania, various disturbances of thought processes and tendency to sadism. The Nobel Peace Prize laureate Barack Hussein Obama, who did not approve of the torture methods of Bush’s inquiry and, therefore, is not a sadist, must be a completely different person.
For sure. Other. Nobel Peace Prizes are not given to Bush Junior. They are given, say, to such figures as Mikhail Gorbachev or Kofi Annan. The first is known as the initiator of acceleration, pluralism of opinions and "restructuring" in the USSR, who left the horns and legs of the Union as a result, and the second became famous for planning democracy in Yugoslavia, Iraq, Libya, and now in Syria. This is not a good tradition for the Nobel laureates of the world: to leave behind them conflagration, ashes, collapse and disintegration. And Mr. Obama could not help but justify the hopes that the awarding Swedish committee placed on him, obviously, in 2009, the Nobel sabotage plotting against the USA - similar to that which was implemented in 1990 against the USSR.
American journalist Michael Snyder, who does not hesitate to openly confess his love for America (that is, a patriot), this week with bitterness said: "The road we are on now is the path that will lead to national suicide." That's right, and said, in pure American English. “We should get rid of,” Snyder added, “from our wastefulness and return to the original values that the early Americans understood so well. We have to look in the mirror to see how low we have fallen. ”
One of the reasons why the United States is rapidly falling into the abyss is, as Snyder apparently is, Barack Obama: "Now we have the worst president in American history, and there is a chance that we will probably have to endure his madness 4 of the Year.
What happened to America under Obama? Patriot Snyder has compiled a whole collection of reasons, demonstrating that his native America is no longer rotting, smacking sweetly, but rotting, thus justifying the communist theses popular in the USSR.
According to Snyder, there are psychopaths on Wall Street; USA leads the world in credit card fraud; there are more school shootings in America than anywhere else in the world; one of the main occupations of Americans is to watch television (28 hours per week); while in 1962, only 13% of all Americans suffered from obesity, today approximately 36% of Americans are fat; in the States, the most per capita lawyers in the world; Americans buy more prescription drugs than anyone else on the planet; the percentage of women taking antidepressants is higher in America than in any other country in the world; more people with mental disorders were diagnosed in the US than anywhere else on Earth; American food is garbage: over 70% of all products sold in the US contain at least one genetically modified component; 85% of things sold in the largest US retailers, made outside the country; The USA has the highest divorce rate in the world; one out of every four teenage girls in the United States has at least one sexually transmitted disease; in the United States, the highest rate of teenage pregnancies around the globe; in the States, the highest mortality rate resulting from child abuse, compared with the rest of the globe; At one time, the United States was ranked first in the world in terms of GDP per capita, and now it has slipped to 12.
Also, the author, who compiled a list of the tragic causes of the death of Obama's America, reports referring to a study that 50% of Americans at the age of 18-24 cannot show New York on the outline map. He also writes that, according to the Pew Research Center, only the 51 percentage of all Americans from 18 years and older is married in the US, and meanwhile, in 1960, 72 percent of all American adults are married. Finally, he cites the following depressing statistics: according to the Federal Reserve, the average net worth of families in the United States decreased from 126.400 $ in 2007 to 77.300 $ in 2010. Meanwhile, the US national debt is approaching 16 trillions of dollars, and the total The amount of debt in the country is rapidly coming to 55 trillions of dollars ...
Some other patriot could tell Snyder that Snyder is wrong, that America’s business is not so bad. But something no one says anything. And financial experts even echo Snyder.
For example, Christine Lagarde, managing director of such a serious office as the International Monetary Fund, recently “specifically” warned America: there will be no one to save you if something happens. The IMF specialists believe that the United States needs to urgently solve its financial and economic problems, and these same specialists are frightened by the national debt and the US budget deficit, and the general uncertainty about fiscal plans. The budget savings that Mr. Obama planned and enforces are not like the IMF either, because sequestering in the 2013 year could lead to negative GDP growth rates. The subordinates of Lagarde were hardly mistaken in their conclusions: after all, the planned reduction of budget programs in the US is not only cost savings, but also a direct blow to consumption. This is a double-edged sword, especially in an advanced consumer society such as the United States.
Journalists at the briefing asked Lagarde if the United States would ask for help from the IMF. "We would not have enough resources to lend to the United States" - confessed Head of the Fund.
So, Obama really implements the plans of the Nobel Committee: diligently ruining America?
With regard to the findings of Snyder about the geographical illiteracy of Americans, the current president sets the tone here, being a worthy successor to the connoisseur of geography, history and geopolitics of Bush Junior. If the latter thought that Iraq is in Africa, somewhere near Afghanistan (another African country), then the former believes that in the US there are 57 states. Obama tells the public stories about the "Polish concentration camps" and not only confuses Auschwitz with Buchenwald, but even mixes with his great-uncle and his great-uncle.
As for the sharp decrease in married people in America, here too Snyder knows what he is talking about. Obama also knew what he was talking about when he spoke in support of same-sex marriages in America, and then made a speech at the bottom of the pride of gays and lesbians who recently did not go anywhere, but directly at the Pentagon. Snyder, however, forgets that statistics is a crafty science: it is necessary throughout the country to legally approve marriages of same-sex couples, and the curve in the graphs will fly upwards at a very sharp angle ...
But what normal person would like such statistics?
Again, it turns out Obama is to blame.
Whether President Obama is the worst in American history, time will tell. However, it is already clear that the current president is acting according to the principle of Chernomyrdin, who simultaneously serves as the unwritten motto of the Nobel Committee: “We wanted the best, but it turned out - as always.”
In 2006, Bush Jr. began a sale operation weapons to Mexico criminal gangs - in order to find out further channels for the distribution of "trunks". American agents, having sold more 2000 machines and pistols, once again blundered. They found no channels, and it turned out that they were the only channel. Sold weapons began to burn in the hands of criminals, and one American border guard was killed. The operation was closed in 2010. Congress still cannot receive documents from this operation from Barack Obama: the president used his right and hid them in a safe. Congressmen had to bring to justice, instead of the President, the General Prosecutor of Holder: he was accused of contempt of Congress. Obama came out of the water, and the Attorney General, who is the Minister of Justice of America, turned out to be a switchman. If we also remember that it was Holder who stopped the special operation with weapons on the border, then Obama looks ugly at all.
Obama's “Madness”, about which Snyder writes, may be diagnosed by psychoanalysts, who in America, I think, per capita falls even more than lawyers, but the fact that strange events in public places have recently begun to happen with Obama - indisputable fact.
As part of the election campaign, Mr. Obama loves to eat in public. 13 June he ate spicy pork ribs in a barbecue sauce with a side dish of vegetables and rice at Kenny's BBQ on Capitol Hill in Washington. Meal with the president was divided by two military and two hairdressers. The five-year-old American food-hungry has dropped off from Kenny's BBQ, forgetting about the 55 dollars bill and 58 cents, not to mention the tips. I had to barbecue administration to call the White House and demand money for ribs and sauce.
But it's flowers. Berries in front.
6 July Mr. Obama, again for election purposes, went to have breakfast in the restaurant "Ann's Place" in the city of Akron, Ohio. Hostess, 70-year-old Josephine Harris, she met the president on the threshold. Mr. Obama ate scrambled eggs, bacon, toast from wheat bread and porridge made from ground corn. The president said thank you, and Josephine hugged him.
And after two and a half hours, the lovely hostess was gone. She complained of chest pains and then died in a resuscitation machine - as expected from a heart attack.
After all this, is a normal owner to let Obama into his restaurant? .. Let the President continue to feed on George Clooney or, say, Brad Pitt - the same supporters of homosexual marriages, like Obama himself.
Belarusian aerial
4 July of this year exactly on the day of independence of one of the most fraternal independent states of the world for Alexander Lukashenko, that is, the United States, and exactly the next day after the celebration of Belarusian independence itself, it was reported that from the territory of neighboring Lithuania into the sky of Belarus "jumped" light engine aircraft. On board the aircraft were Swedish pilots who decided to conduct an extravagant landing operation. From the Belarusian sky to the Belarusian land flew teddy bears, which in their teddy paws were holding plates with inscriptions about the need to respect freedom of speech and freedom of assembly.
The action seems to be fun, and the pilots, judging by the photos presented later in bear masks, are still merry, but only after a recent “fun” operation with Turkish pilots, “humorists” who brought the Turkish plane to the Syrian sky, could the Swedes say hello The Syrian military units of the air defense units turned out to be people with little understanding of air humor, and therefore they reflexively pressed the big red button, showing that it was one step from ridiculous to great.
The Belarusian fighters serving the air defense systems seem to be more susceptible to the influence of comic sketches from NATO countries, and therefore the Swedish pilots, albeit with wet extensions of their backs, but still safe and sound, after the “amphibious operation” carried out, they safely retreated to that the side from which they came to congratulate the father.
Naturally, after the “plush landing” in Belarus, a scandal erupted, because the Belarusian air defense covers not only their own territory, but also are the western shield of the union state. Understanding that the continuations and their backs are becoming wet, the Belarusian generals, who, by the way, received their new shoulder straps with big stars from the president the day before, decided to respond in their own way to the Swedish expansion. Like, guys, what are you talking about? There was no Swedish aircraft plying the expanses of the Belarusian skies, but there was only a rough and unsuccessful provocation on the ground. Someone supposedly scattered these “plush oppositionists” of a bear family and tribe in advance, and the flight of a single-engine plane from the territory of Lithuania to the territory of the Republic of Belarus was simply “photo-foxed” in full.
It is noteworthy that all the generals involved in the castle in the sky of Belarus without exception said in one voice that it really was Photoshop and in some places even video editing. Apparently, Belarusian generals are well versed in computer graphics and multimedia applications.
The Belarusian high-ranking border guards also denied the flight, stating that there was no crossing of the Belarusian air border, otherwise the Belarusian border guards would have recorded the fact of their crossing, because the quote “border guards conduct round-the-clock visual monitoring of the airspace”.
With this “visual control” everything somehow fogs out: either the generals force the ordinary border guards, who rub their eyes with their fists, to peer for hours at the sky, or they are handed out using nominal binoculars with lenses that sweat from continuous operation. But still they did not inspect it, because the lenses were too sweaty. But local residents paid attention to the “landing operation”.
And after all, a strange thing turns out: if neither the frontier guards nor the air defense system saw the Swedish plane, and ordinary Belarusian citizens saw it, then it might already smell like mass hallucination, or the fact that those who saw it were members of the mass flash bear mob .
Well, what about us? Of course, we would be better off if the Swedish flight was really a “photo-toad”, because it’s somehow offensive to marry a country that is once again worried by representatives of a small foreign country. aviation. And then you have to write out under the humanitarian aid program the Syrian Air Defense Forces, who are able to distinguish between a neutral sky and their own sky, which means they can also see someone else's plane in this very sky ...
Magnitsky Rubber List
They continue to look for a worthy response to the law on NGOs adopted by the State Duma during the week by excessively active Russian oppositionists. Understanding that now they will have to not only take the "money" from their foreign patrons, but also account for its spending on Russian citizens, the so-called non-system oppositionists began to literally dig the ground in order to "revenge" for the offended themselves.
Friends, comrades Boris Nemtsov and Garry Kasparov, using the political promptness of the first and the chess logic of the latter, decided to ask the US Senate, which is finalizing the famous Magnitsky list, to modify it so that it also includes people who force non-profit organizations to report on spending " sponsorship "funds.
In order to arouse more tearful pity in their American protégés, Nemtsov and Kasparov went to a private meeting with congressmen, where they gave them their petition along with reporting video materials about the march of millions. In a petition, US lawmakers were able to see proposals coming from Nemtsov and Kasparov to include such persons in the Magnitsky list as the head of the Investigative Committee Alexander Bastrykin, the head of the CEC Mr. Churov, the judge Olga Borovkova, as well as the roll list of the heads of the Department of Internal Affairs, riot police, investigators , prosecutors and others. Perhaps there was also a secret part of the list, in which Garry Kimovich attempted to bring the computer to Deep Blue, which he had lost in due time, and Anatoly Karpov - just to remember that the “old friend” is always on his tail.
It is not yet clear whether US lawmakers are ready to take advantage of such attractive offers from Boris Yefimovich and Garry Kimovich about the Russian reality, but it is clear that the US Senate has fixed its democratizing gazes towards the Independent Ukraine. According to a number of senators preoccupied with the problems of distant countries, it’s time to cool down the fervor of Viktor Yanukovych, to whom, it turns out, Washington has long given some promises, but he doesn’t accept these promises. He told the American senators that it was time to start doing something with Viktor Fedorovich, Mr. Kramer, who heads the human rights organization Freedom House. This very Kramer declared that Yanukovych is “Putinizing” Ukraine, and therefore must be subjected to a democratic scourge.
So, Viktor Fedorovich, as well as members of his large family, should also think about which banks should keep their savings, because Magnitsky’s list can accept his last name - he’s the (list) they have rubber ...
Nowhere to retreat - the terms of Moscow
They have rubber lists, we have a rubber capital. During the week Moscow increased in size 2,4 times, and doubts about the fact that it was made of gutta-percha material disappeared even from the most ardent skeptics. At the same time, the density of the metropolitan population, with all its officials, businessmen, confused, oppositionists and migrant workers, fell by more than 2 times. Now Moscow has a weighty territorial appendix in the direction of the south-west of the Moscow Region, which 148 lost thousands of hectares overnight.
Now it seems clear why Sergei Shoigu from the ministerial post was sent to the governors near Moscow. Obviously, they expected him to save the Moscow region from such an emergency, but Sergei Kuzhugetovich, apparently, finally released his brainchild - the Ministry of Emergency Situations - to float freely and will now be the head of the region, who was fairly soon circumcised.
For natural reasons, the new lands of Moscow immediately jumped in price. Some enterprising "new Muscovites" were able to sell to the old Muscovites that which these old Muscovites already had under them. For example, in the Leninsky district, 2 of a plot of land with a total area of 120 ha went under the hammer. And only then, when the sellers had already caught a cold, it turned out that they had already bought these lots for the second time ...
Taking into account that former President Medvedev saw exceptional benefits in the consolidation of the Russian state capital, it is safe to say that now even the removal of moths for that same 101 kilometer for these same butterflies will not be a tragedy, because now even after such a move, they can still remain in the capital ... And after the night moths, towards the 101 kilometer from the beginning of July, according to the plan of the authorities, Moscow offices, deputy offices, and even ministries should stretch, so that Without work, neither one nor the other clearly will not ...
Well, now, after a serious increase in the area of Moscow, it may be that there is a place where the opposition moves in plenty: there are so many vacant lots around - walk yourself, hold a rally, occupy as much as you want.
And local authorities can even be advised to build a cottage settlement named after the Magnitsky list, which is to be settled exclusively by people “restricted to leave the country” with accounts frozen in American banks. And to the village instead of the Mausoleum, then you can drive foreign excursions. New Moscow - new sights! ..
Mail smashed
The fact that the hacker business is alive and well in our country, few doubted even before the publication on the Internet of the correspondence between the governor of the Kirov region Nikita Belykh and the main anti-PZHIVovtsem of Russia Alexei Navalny. But now everyone is finally convinced: if you have at least some involvement in politics, and, moreover, also noted in your time in “solving problems” with all sorts of distilleries and “Kirovles”, then it is better not to talk about these topics via e-mail.
So, during the week, a well-known hacker in Russia with a speaking nickname Hell took and hacked the mail of another well-known Russian for some time, Russian Alexei Navalny. And what did the “hellish” hacker see there? And he saw, as one of the representatives of the governor's corps of the Russian Federation, a man named Nikita Belykh, trying to “get through” to his former adviser in order to complete the unsmited problems.
Due to the fact that our “Results of the Week” can be read by children and pregnant women, we allow ourselves not to give Nikita Yuryevich's correspondence with Alexey Anatolyevich in all details and colors, since in this correspondence there are idiomatic expressions that can offend honor and dignity as children as well as pregnant women. The essence of the correspondence is that the two highly respected gentlemen still can not figure out who, to whom and, most importantly, how much should. At the same time, the Kirov governor is trying to explain to his former comrade that he fell under the corrupting influence of the West and excessively increased his self-esteem, forgetting about his old friends, who see themselves as Nikita Yuryevich.
Immediately after the hard work carried out by hacker Hell, society began to boil. And the greatest boiling, for natural reasons, happened in the camp of those with whom recently Mr. Navalny has been so actively trying to fight - in the party “United Russia”. The party members immediately clutched to the published correspondence with a bulldog grip, and along with it in Navalny with Belykh (or, as it is now fashionable to incline, with Belykh). With the steam from the nostrils, the sailor rushed to work in this direction ... uh, sorry, United Russia Zheleznyak, as well as the senator, for some reason, from the Chelyabinsk region (of course, also United Russia) Ruslan Gattarov. Both recommended Nikita Belykh to resign on his own, but as long as he resigned, they will oversee the conduct of the inspection of the epistolary of Navalny and the Kirov governor.
Nikita Yuryevich himself declares that he doesn’t see anything reprehensible in his correspondence (except, perhaps, those idiomatic expressions), and even independently authorized verification of the spending of budget funds of the Kirov region for the entire period of his governorship. But, apparently, Belykh forgets that the governor’s corps in Russia is almost entirely owned by the United Russia party, and he (Nikita Belykh) creates an “inefficient exception”, and therefore we can expect that soon Nikita Yuryevich will be asked from his post, and in its place they will approve of the crystal cleanliness of a person, of course, from United Russia, not tainted with cooperation with Navalny, so that the statistics do not spoil ...
In this regard, it is worth even to suggest that the hacker Hell can be secretly awarded with some Order of Merit and continue his grain work in this direction. Hackers, they also want to eat ...
And if you see in your open window a flock of pigeons scurrying back and forth, it means that the oppositionists nevertheless decided to abandon the electronic services and switched to pigeon mail at once. But the hawks of overly active United Russia not only sit on the Internet ...
Koichiro, wake up! ..
Once again, the Japanese authorities expressed their indignation at the fact that Dmitry Medvedev paid a visit to the South Kuriles. Like, before going to the Kuril chain, the Russian prime minister had to ask permission from the official Tokyo, they say, you need to understand that the official Tokyo does not recognize the islands of the Russian Federation. And a lot of things were said by the Japanese authorities: from the “cold water tub for bilateral relations” to the “revision of cooperation agreements with Russia”. And the deputy and political scientist Alexei Pushkov, who, like Prime Minister Medvedev, spoke in the spirit that your Japanese insinuations are us to an energy-saving light bulb, so in general through the Internet received a portion of threats from Japanese “samurai” announcing that his name is in “ black list". Are these blacklists divorced for the Russians too much: they scare Magnitsky with the list, then the list of yakuza is thrusting under his nose ...
Recall that Dmitry Medvedev visited the South Kuriles during his Far Eastern tour, and once again stated that the Kuriles are an integral part of Russia, and this part will receive serious assistance from the federal budget. And, judging by the Japanese opinion, he had to ask the highest Tokyo permission three times to fly to Russian land
In this regard, you can imagine the dream of the Japanese authorities about how Vladimir Putin, at a meeting with Dmitry Medvedev, using a spinner phone, dials up to the Japanese Prime Minister Koichiro Gamba and literally on his knees begs him to allow at least one of them to fly to the South Kuriles. But Gemba is adamant: no, they say, that's all, the Kuriles are Japanese! Japan rejoices, samurai in festive clothes arrange processions with synchronous sweeps of swords, yakuza representatives with open faces rush on blued motorcycles along crowded joyous streets of Tokyo, the Japanese capital, and even “Fukushima” pollutes the environment somehow in a festive way ... But ... We must wake up , Mr. Gamba, and buy a map of the world, which is not printed in the printing house of some Yokohama, but, for example, in the international geographical society, where the Southern Kurils have already been in 67 for our country for years.
Koichiro, wake up! ..
Part II. Papuan Justice and American Tragedy
Soup and hottest
In Papua New Guinea, parliamentary elections cannot end. No, the point is not that it is difficult for citizens of this democratic country to decide on their candidates (for 109 seats in the local parliament pretends 3435 independent candidates and representatives of almost fifty parties), and the fact that an emergency occurred recently in the province of Madang.
Local activists, the total number of 12 people, united against sorcerers, who allegedly practiced the “puripuri” magic in the villages. Actually, the sorcerers, whose existence the active Papuans do not approve of, and launched the new movement, which now numbers 500 participants and occupies an intermediate position between the socio-political and the mystical.
The united Papuans from Madang, protesting against witchcraft, but endorsing cannibalism, suspected seven of their fellow citizens to use black magic. These seven - five men and two women - themselves declared themselves sorcerers-healers and behaved badly: they extorted money from sick people. Opponents of magic decided to stop the cheeky attempts at witch extortion. Little by little, the activists of the new movement began to believe that they had supernatural abilities that help them "calculate" the sorcerers, as well as the powers for reprisals.
Local political activist рассказал about the first victim of the believers: “Previously, everything was fine, but now it has turned into a cult, as it were. They killed on the sidelines. They cut out the heart, they cut out his brain, drank his blood. ”
Cannibals remembered who they were and got a taste. Led by local warden 12 activists identified seven sorcerers - and they all ate.
Anthony Vagambi Jr., police commander, сказал: “They began to unite, take to the streets and get rid of the sorcerers. How did they calculate them? In their own words, the sorcerers pointed out to them the spirits. However, soon they went even further and began to eat parts of the bodies of their victims. ”
According to Vagambi, several members of the movement have already admitted eating parts of the bodies of the dead and preparing soup from the victims.
In Papua New Guinea, everyone is afraid of black magic, even deputies and politicians. Therefore, this election will last longer: it takes time for the residents of Madang province to come to their senses and dare to go out of their homes. Police arrested a 29 man, but the cannibal chieftain was never caught.
One local politician сказалthat in the local villages witchcraft thrives. Perhaps, therefore, many sectarians cannibals do not condemn, but, on the contrary, support.
On available in the press information, in addition to the socially active position, expressed in cannibalism, 500 members of the Papuan sect worship ... planes. "Cargo-cult" is expressed in the fact that his followers deify air cargo.
In general, if the next parliamentary elections in New Guinea come to power - in a completely democratic way - the Papua Cargo Cannibal party comes, no need to be surprised. Judicial decisions will be made quickly, and implemented - even faster.
Barack Obama will ruin America
Just as in Russia, “Chubais is to blame for everything,” it seems that the time has come for America’s election to blame Mr. Obama for all the troubles and misfortunes.
The fact is that honest, hardworking and law-abiding Americans began to realize that the great United States of America, which continues to lecture the whole world, how to properly settle down and begin to live, will soon end.
Well, well, many civilizations disappeared from the face of the planet. The USA is not the first and not the last. But if, for example, the Sumerians or the ancient Egyptians did not look for those who were to blame for the collapse of civilization, then it is customary to find political sinners in the modern vengeful world. As a rule, they are not mere mortals, but state leaders who are not able to give the correct answer to a severe challenge. stories.
The United States has been president for three and a half years by the name of Barack Obama. It would seem that this can be done with great America in such a short time? Until Mr. Obama, the United States was governed by Mr. Bush Jr. - with as much as eight years. But this is a man whom psychoanalyst J. Frank recognized as not quite mentally healthy (to put it mildly). Dr. Frank discovered in Bush Jr. dyslexia, paranoia, megalomania, various disturbances of thought processes and tendency to sadism. The Nobel Peace Prize laureate Barack Hussein Obama, who did not approve of the torture methods of Bush’s inquiry and, therefore, is not a sadist, must be a completely different person.
For sure. Other. Nobel Peace Prizes are not given to Bush Junior. They are given, say, to such figures as Mikhail Gorbachev or Kofi Annan. The first is known as the initiator of acceleration, pluralism of opinions and "restructuring" in the USSR, who left the horns and legs of the Union as a result, and the second became famous for planning democracy in Yugoslavia, Iraq, Libya, and now in Syria. This is not a good tradition for the Nobel laureates of the world: to leave behind them conflagration, ashes, collapse and disintegration. And Mr. Obama could not help but justify the hopes that the awarding Swedish committee placed on him, obviously, in 2009, the Nobel sabotage plotting against the USA - similar to that which was implemented in 1990 against the USSR.
American journalist Michael Snyder, who does not hesitate to openly confess his love for America (that is, a patriot), this week with bitterness said: "The road we are on now is the path that will lead to national suicide." That's right, and said, in pure American English. “We should get rid of,” Snyder added, “from our wastefulness and return to the original values that the early Americans understood so well. We have to look in the mirror to see how low we have fallen. ”
One of the reasons why the United States is rapidly falling into the abyss is, as Snyder apparently is, Barack Obama: "Now we have the worst president in American history, and there is a chance that we will probably have to endure his madness 4 of the Year.
What happened to America under Obama? Patriot Snyder has compiled a whole collection of reasons, demonstrating that his native America is no longer rotting, smacking sweetly, but rotting, thus justifying the communist theses popular in the USSR.
According to Snyder, there are psychopaths on Wall Street; USA leads the world in credit card fraud; there are more school shootings in America than anywhere else in the world; one of the main occupations of Americans is to watch television (28 hours per week); while in 1962, only 13% of all Americans suffered from obesity, today approximately 36% of Americans are fat; in the States, the most per capita lawyers in the world; Americans buy more prescription drugs than anyone else on the planet; the percentage of women taking antidepressants is higher in America than in any other country in the world; more people with mental disorders were diagnosed in the US than anywhere else on Earth; American food is garbage: over 70% of all products sold in the US contain at least one genetically modified component; 85% of things sold in the largest US retailers, made outside the country; The USA has the highest divorce rate in the world; one out of every four teenage girls in the United States has at least one sexually transmitted disease; in the United States, the highest rate of teenage pregnancies around the globe; in the States, the highest mortality rate resulting from child abuse, compared with the rest of the globe; At one time, the United States was ranked first in the world in terms of GDP per capita, and now it has slipped to 12.
Also, the author, who compiled a list of the tragic causes of the death of Obama's America, reports referring to a study that 50% of Americans at the age of 18-24 cannot show New York on the outline map. He also writes that, according to the Pew Research Center, only the 51 percentage of all Americans from 18 years and older is married in the US, and meanwhile, in 1960, 72 percent of all American adults are married. Finally, he cites the following depressing statistics: according to the Federal Reserve, the average net worth of families in the United States decreased from 126.400 $ in 2007 to 77.300 $ in 2010. Meanwhile, the US national debt is approaching 16 trillions of dollars, and the total The amount of debt in the country is rapidly coming to 55 trillions of dollars ...
Some other patriot could tell Snyder that Snyder is wrong, that America’s business is not so bad. But something no one says anything. And financial experts even echo Snyder.
For example, Christine Lagarde, managing director of such a serious office as the International Monetary Fund, recently “specifically” warned America: there will be no one to save you if something happens. The IMF specialists believe that the United States needs to urgently solve its financial and economic problems, and these same specialists are frightened by the national debt and the US budget deficit, and the general uncertainty about fiscal plans. The budget savings that Mr. Obama planned and enforces are not like the IMF either, because sequestering in the 2013 year could lead to negative GDP growth rates. The subordinates of Lagarde were hardly mistaken in their conclusions: after all, the planned reduction of budget programs in the US is not only cost savings, but also a direct blow to consumption. This is a double-edged sword, especially in an advanced consumer society such as the United States.
Journalists at the briefing asked Lagarde if the United States would ask for help from the IMF. "We would not have enough resources to lend to the United States" - confessed Head of the Fund.
So, Obama really implements the plans of the Nobel Committee: diligently ruining America?
With regard to the findings of Snyder about the geographical illiteracy of Americans, the current president sets the tone here, being a worthy successor to the connoisseur of geography, history and geopolitics of Bush Junior. If the latter thought that Iraq is in Africa, somewhere near Afghanistan (another African country), then the former believes that in the US there are 57 states. Obama tells the public stories about the "Polish concentration camps" and not only confuses Auschwitz with Buchenwald, but even mixes with his great-uncle and his great-uncle.
As for the sharp decrease in married people in America, here too Snyder knows what he is talking about. Obama also knew what he was talking about when he spoke in support of same-sex marriages in America, and then made a speech at the bottom of the pride of gays and lesbians who recently did not go anywhere, but directly at the Pentagon. Snyder, however, forgets that statistics is a crafty science: it is necessary throughout the country to legally approve marriages of same-sex couples, and the curve in the graphs will fly upwards at a very sharp angle ...
But what normal person would like such statistics?
Again, it turns out Obama is to blame.
Whether President Obama is the worst in American history, time will tell. However, it is already clear that the current president is acting according to the principle of Chernomyrdin, who simultaneously serves as the unwritten motto of the Nobel Committee: “We wanted the best, but it turned out - as always.”
In 2006, Bush Jr. began a sale operation weapons to Mexico criminal gangs - in order to find out further channels for the distribution of "trunks". American agents, having sold more 2000 machines and pistols, once again blundered. They found no channels, and it turned out that they were the only channel. Sold weapons began to burn in the hands of criminals, and one American border guard was killed. The operation was closed in 2010. Congress still cannot receive documents from this operation from Barack Obama: the president used his right and hid them in a safe. Congressmen had to bring to justice, instead of the President, the General Prosecutor of Holder: he was accused of contempt of Congress. Obama came out of the water, and the Attorney General, who is the Minister of Justice of America, turned out to be a switchman. If we also remember that it was Holder who stopped the special operation with weapons on the border, then Obama looks ugly at all.
Obama's “Madness”, about which Snyder writes, may be diagnosed by psychoanalysts, who in America, I think, per capita falls even more than lawyers, but the fact that strange events in public places have recently begun to happen with Obama - indisputable fact.
As part of the election campaign, Mr. Obama loves to eat in public. 13 June he ate spicy pork ribs in a barbecue sauce with a side dish of vegetables and rice at Kenny's BBQ on Capitol Hill in Washington. Meal with the president was divided by two military and two hairdressers. The five-year-old American food-hungry has dropped off from Kenny's BBQ, forgetting about the 55 dollars bill and 58 cents, not to mention the tips. I had to barbecue administration to call the White House and demand money for ribs and sauce.
But it's flowers. Berries in front.
6 July Mr. Obama, again for election purposes, went to have breakfast in the restaurant "Ann's Place" in the city of Akron, Ohio. Hostess, 70-year-old Josephine Harris, she met the president on the threshold. Mr. Obama ate scrambled eggs, bacon, toast from wheat bread and porridge made from ground corn. The president said thank you, and Josephine hugged him.
And after two and a half hours, the lovely hostess was gone. She complained of chest pains and then died in a resuscitation machine - as expected from a heart attack.
After all this, is a normal owner to let Obama into his restaurant? .. Let the President continue to feed on George Clooney or, say, Brad Pitt - the same supporters of homosexual marriages, like Obama himself.
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