Military Review

Visiting geopolitical tales. On both sides of the Big Puddle

Somewhere over Washington ...

Moderate, "sew", I do not like this word when it comes to our units, the terrorists in Syria are completely defeated? “Not yet, sir.” Are moderate terrorists in Syria resisting the Assad army? - They not only render, but also try to counterattack on several sectors of the front. The supply channels of moderate terrorists in Syria are finally closed? - At the moment, no, but the Russians are hammering in tanks and oil refineries. (... chewing gum in the mouth is chewing harder ...) WTF! Well, oil is already on 100? - No, sir, while 45.

Visiting geopolitical tales. On both sides of the Big Puddle

Blockhead, do not scare! .. If so, then talk about creating a coalition with Russia early. Secretary, write down: early! .. Let psaki come to the podium and blurt out something about this. Keywords: Assad, carousel, aggression ... Let me add what I want from myself. Offhand: democracy - 17 times, multicooker and Pyongyang - no more than two.

But she is on leave to care for a child ...

For sure. Then let this one come out, like him, well, which is like psaki, only with epaulets ... And, most importantly, suddenly the moderates will still find powder with our help in gunners and bang. To do this, they just need to create their own, as there it is, well, when other moderate (in 40-s) fought with the Soviets - Dnipro, their “Seelow heights” (the grandmother from Kenya told, stories passed), in general, their borders on which it will be possible to stop the Syrian attack and deprive the Russian Aviation support the army of the dictator, tyrant, Assad bloodsucker from the air. Dictator, bloodsucker, tyrant, - recorded? ..

But, sir ... And if these Russians again take and destroy the frontiers erected by our moderate and slightly insensitive? After all, then you will have to count financial losses again and already jump into the last coalition car to have time to share the sweetness of victory ...

Ebola on both your home! Let go of panicking, youngster! There will be financial losses - there is a machine - we will print. Thank you, how is it ... Guttenberg. The most ingenious inventor was in history. I can’t understand one thing: why did he start typing books? Well, oh well ... Everything is reimbursed, we will prepare new units, comb their beards! The main thing is more black rags and toyot SUVs! About SUVs with this, tell them - how are they, the Chinese or the Japanese, constantly confusing them ... In general - to those who have our bases ... Yes! Have you forgotten? - Our military budget is 620 billion. For all moderates on any enough. But then, if you make a coalition with Russia, you will have to gather in Yalta (the grandmother from Kenya also told) ... And this, you know what it leads to ... I don’t know how I manage to restrain Google, so that they don’t forget and draw Crimea Russia. Fie, you again have this word ... To me, my psychologist forbade him to pronounce it more than twice a day ...

In the meantime, somewhere in the Baltics.

Dahl, what are we going to do? .. One of these days, your deputy announced that our valiant Baltic troops, which, together with the Ukrainian army, are holding back Russia's aggression against the whole of Europe, can move to Syria to participate in the land operation.

Heard, heard Raymond! I think we need to think of something like that, so that we are not suspected of wanting to throw NATO. There is one variant ... And let's say that we don’t intend to participate in any kind of coalition if this coalition has at least some kind of contact with Russia!

For sure! Bravo, neighbor! No wonder the little book “Red Dahl” came out about you - the skills remained ... By the way, I read with pleasure ...

What do you allow yourself, Toomas! ..

Fine, fine. Take it easy. Well I tell you: well done! Raymond and I accept your offer. Really, Raymond? Here's another thing: yesterday, refugees settled in our apartment. They say: from Syria. They say: help, not that! .. So what I think is: we should again ask Merkel for subsidies with an interest-free loan and, most importantly, read the Quran, all of a sudden - from the entrance - they will ask for a quote, and we will not ...

It is truth too. I have always admired your ability to grasp the essence of the problem, Toomas! True, I got a few ahead of you here - yesterday I bought a hijab on the market - just in case, we are an independent secular state! If anything - in Molenbeck you find me in him. Today, horseradish will be found in Molenbek, and tomorrow you will find horseradish in Kaunas ...

Yeah, Dahl, you won't be hijacking after you ...

Sorry, sorry, but what if our American friends do not join the Russian coalition and at the same time ask us to take part in a land operation - well, like in Mali ... What are we going to do?

Here you are forever, Raymond, out of place ... What to do, what to do? .. Have you forgotten how we nursed in our hospitals the corrupted Ukrainian pravoseki and other defenders of Ukrainian democracy. For promise it would be nice to ask Roshen. We will offer Kiev to enter our coalition: one of our non-commissioned officers is twenty Ukrainian dill-patriots, as they are there. So let's report on our anti-terrorist platoon. And as soon as there is a platoon somewhere in the sands of Syria — our noncommissioned officer will take a sick-list — and let the meat “fight,” especially since they have all their own. Gerashchenko had already written off “Nusrovtsy” on Facebook, he received a grandmother from a friend — that’s the flag in his hands. Well, we will not send our naval raft to the shores of Syria, think for yourself. My admirals and so whine about the fact that they already tired of inflatable boats to pump up. In the end, there is always a chance to surrender to Russia, receive billions of financial aid from it, and then declare a monstrous occupation.

Meanwhile in Kiev.

Arseny Petrovich, how is the construction of your fence going?

Not a fence, but a shaft, Petr Alekseevich. European! According to our general staff and Tymchuk’s digital intelligence service, the European rampart of the gaming system can really withstand the attacks of cruise missiles and the flight of the aggressor’s strategic bombers into our most airless space. We are going to slightly bend the grid of the European shaft so that it can induce radio-electronic interference and disorient the enemy and occupier.

Well, will be, will be, Arseny ... Then what did it do? No cameras. The electorate, too ... Speak more simply: how many grosa have you drank, how many more do you plan? All are yours.

So no more than yours, Petr Alekseich ... By the way, Moscow is proposing debt restructuring. Of course, I made it right there - they say, we will not pay, let 20% discount! Make the transfer payments to 2019 year.

Fool ... And if they don’t? .. Where are we, and where is 2019 a year ...

Well, that's the calculation ... Where are we, and where is 2019 a year ... Let them look for those who pay in 2019. Or do you, Pan President, expect to sit in your chair until that time?

Look at me, get a joke. How to take a petition about the premiership of Mishiko, how I will consider! ..

That's just to threaten me, Peter Alekseevich, do not. We are with you one Maidan Mazan. Glory to Ukraine!

...Glory to heroes! I wanted to catch it, bitch guts? .. It won't work ... Philaret, your bishop ... While spending time with you here, 5 missed from Biden! What to say? What can I say? .. Hello, Mr. Biden ... Yes, I have it just in the back pocket of the embroidery on the vibro ... Where-where, excuse me, stick it ...? For what slate? ..

Meanwhile, in Russia, a new day began ...
Photos used:,, dax-directview
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  1. Mowgli
    Mowgli 23 November 2015 06: 52
    Your grandmother is wrong there.
    For this tale, another is needed. Here is one:
    1. Dembel77
      Dembel77 23 November 2015 07: 56
      Cause time - fun hour. They laughed - now it’s possible about painful. Let me introduce you ...
      Meanwhile, in Russia, a new day began ...
      The first rating of expenses of officials and deputies for the rental of official cars and the provision of motor services passing through the procurement system was compiled by ONF.
      The rating criterion was the cost of one hour of rental per unit of the most expensive transport with a driver. Purchases for road transport services in 2015–2016 were analyzed. totaling about 1 billion rubles. The leader of the rating was the Ministry of Transport of the Rostov Region. The rating also included the Legislative Assembly of the Perm Territory and the City Council - on the 4th and 9th places, respectively.
      news #
      1. KOH
        KOH 23 November 2015 08: 00
        ONF, Well done !!!, bring bloodsuckers to clean water ...))))
        1. Shveps
          Shveps 23 November 2015 09: 30
          Quote: CON
          Well done !!!, bring bloodsuckers to clean water ...

          Letter to the President:
          “I fully support the expansion of the import substitution program, and I propose, for the purpose of this program, to replace the children of Russian officials and oligarchs living in the US and EU countries with children from Russian orphanages.”
          1. KOH
            KOH 23 November 2015 10: 10
            Nah !!! Let Russian children stay in Russia, better let these "officials" bring them down to their offspring ...
            1. THE_SEAL
              THE_SEAL 23 November 2015 22: 08
              Quote: CON
              Nah !!! Let Russian children stay in Russia, better let these "officials" bring them down to their offspring ...

              Officials to judge. Return stolen money. Their children wash dishes in Manhattan restaurants. Well, or work assholes. To each according to his ability.
        2. afdjhbn67
          afdjhbn67 23 November 2015 12: 09
          Quote: CON
          ONF, Well done !!!, bring bloodsuckers to clean water ...))))

          Why delight ?? they are growing a shift for everyone who is tired of Eating Russia, to be safe in the 2016 elections, hence the timid revelations for the rating - wassat funny .. but the people will be fooled with this as always .. request
      2. Baloo
        Baloo 23 November 2015 08: 31
        We are waiting for landings, we are waiting ... Probably we will not wait. A little subtract from the salary? And fair and effective. bully
        1. The comment was deleted.
        2. Mera joota
          Mera joota 23 November 2015 08: 56
          Quote: Balu
          We are waiting for landings, we are waiting ... Probably we will not wait. A little subtract from the salary? And fair and effective. bully

          You are naive to the impossibility ... Our former mayor (current governor) has sold more than one and a half thousand apartments intended for beneficiaries, but the prosecutor’s office has no complaints against him, the deputy is responsible. He himself said that the sale of apartments was carried out according to the law ... And here is some kind of trifle ...
          1. Shveps
            Shveps 23 November 2015 09: 40
            Quote: Mera Joota
            You are naive to the impossibility ...

            The Pension Fund of Russia advises: do not spoil the long, poor, humiliating old age of the general impression of life.

            Conscious Russian billionaires will do everything possible so that after lowering real wages and pensions, the average income in the country does not decrease.

            Only in Russia is a corruption scandal for a deputy more likely a good PR.

            If the ministers are untied, we will soon find them in our pockets.

            Our television does not adapt to fools. It produces them.
        3. Kolka82
          Kolka82 23 November 2015 08: 57
          Transplant everyone ... uh-uh to Lada Vesta (first transplant, and only then a worthy replacement - to Vesta)
          1. Lelek
            Lelek 23 November 2015 12: 50
            Quote: Kolka82
            first transplant, and only then ...

            Something does not work out "according to the law." And this means that either the law is not correct, or the one who uses it is a cheat. I think the second. This means that these "law enforcement officers" need a filthy broom without a pension and the opportunity to stick to jurisprudence. negative
            1. Dembel77
              Dembel77 24 November 2015 08: 25
              Quote: Lelek
              And this means that either the law is not right

              No, either, clearly imperfect legislation. And this is only at the mercy of unscrupulous officials, and those who simply cling to the authorities to dozens and bribes. And bring them numbers.
  2. inkass_98
    inkass_98 23 November 2015 06: 53
    Laughter, laughter, but something like that is the case. Every dog ​​strives to fool his colleagues as well, and not to forget himself, his beloved, and Russia to shit from the heart.
  3. rotmistr60
    rotmistr60 23 November 2015 06: 59
    The author tried with humor and briefly highlight the latest developments in three, you can safely say, brothels. There are mores like in a brothel and the corresponding contingent. Thank.
  4. shonsu
    shonsu 23 November 2015 07: 01
    did not like. all the same as I knew before, no information.
    1. Baloo
      Baloo 23 November 2015 14: 01
      What a clever, finally ... I'm proud of you shonsu!
  5. parusnik
    parusnik 23 November 2015 07: 08
    Here you are forever, Raymond, out of place ... What to do, what to do? ....Voice from nowhere: Rusks, dry ...
  6. aszzz888
    aszzz888 23 November 2015 07: 34
    "In the air (meaning in the world), it smelled like a thunderstorm."

    And in the summer - fried.
  7. Boris55
    Boris55 23 November 2015 07: 51
    Quote: Volodin Alexey
    Visiting geopolitical fairy tales.

    Could the author define the term GEOPOLITICS?
    I know that there are:
    - domestic policycarried out by the state in relation to the citizens of their country;
    - foreign policycarried out by a state or group of states in relation to citizens of other countries;
    - global politicscarried out by a state or group of states in relation to all of humanity.

    And what is GEOPOLITICS? Who and in relation to whom is it carried out?
    Why does it bother me so much. Because Gorbachev, having thrown in the term perestroika, did not explain what he understood by this, as a result of which each meaning of this term was understood in its own way and the country did not (and this is the same).

    About geopolitics:
    1. Boris55
      Boris55 23 November 2015 13: 27
      You can not use terms whose concept is not perceived unambiguously, in connection with which each individual interprets it in his favor, which ultimately leads to misunderstanding (conversation between two deaf people).

      They put two minuses, but so no one decided to give their own idea, what is it - GEOPOLITICS? laughing
      1. sovetskyturist
        sovetskyturist 23 November 2015 19: 06
        about UTB when everyone is told about everything is lost or everyone will be defeated, well near need, the main thing is more emotions. Effectively framing the truths to the crowd by substituting concepts
        They put two minuses, but no one decided to give their concept
        . decided not to contact or may be a day off for geopolitical analysts
  8. delvin-fil
    delvin-fil 23 November 2015 08: 04
    Capacitively. Here is such news on TV. To be honest and sarcasm.
  9. s.melioxin
    s.melioxin 23 November 2015 08: 16
    Visiting a geopolitical tale
    If the time comes and it will be necessary, in five minutes we will wash off all the makeup.
  10. The comment was deleted.
  11. press officer
    press officer 23 November 2015 08: 32
    good good good good good very accurate and true! author well done!
  12. Mera joota
    Mera joota 23 November 2015 08: 36
    If the author broadcasts his dream, this does not mean that such is reality. Well, sleep on ...
  13. Reptiloid
    Reptiloid 23 November 2015 10: 11
    +++++ The Russian people always ridiculed stupidity and evil. Always humor was in fairy tales, jokes, ditties. ++++
  14. Belousov
    Belousov 23 November 2015 12: 40
    It's good with humor :)
    It would be necessary to make a similar section regular, in the manner of the Results of the week or Notes of the Cockroach good
    1. afdjhbn67
      afdjhbn67 23 November 2015 13: 57
      Quote: Belousov
      It's good with humor :)

      Humor is only Petrosyanovsky ...
      1. Throw
        Throw 23 November 2015 15: 16
        Yeah. Gives out "sold out" and all sorts of "Regovitsky cudgels" ..
  15. Strezhevchanin
    Strezhevchanin 23 November 2015 20: 06
    And if you listen to the conversation of all this public without officialdom, then we’ll hear about such a market! It’s enough to remember fuck the ES))) We only hear on TV how the Ukrainians are working on the move, and on the phone a select Russian-powerful !!!
  16. Volga Cossack
    Volga Cossack 23 November 2015 21: 56
    super article - thanks! smiled!
  17. mivail
    mivail 23 November 2015 22: 21
    Quote: Kolka82
    Transplant everyone ... uh-uh to Lada Vesta (first transplant, and only then a worthy replacement - to Vesta)
    It’s better to just transplant, on bunks, without frets.
  18. Cruel beaver
    Cruel beaver 23 November 2015 22: 44
    Good fairy tale! More and more often ... laughing
  19. Valiich
    Valiich 23 November 2015 23: 39
    Wonderful tale! And in life somewhere very close! Serpent-Gorynych may well fit. And in the morning Three Bogatyrs came and dispersed the whole gang of watering to smithereens and the overseas bastard got his black but white-toothed smile. Yes, they began to live peacefully, friendly, fun and rich !!! And the end of that tale was not and still is not !!! What time? !!!