Americans ... not stupid!
Returning at the end of 80 from my first tour of America, I wrote enthusiastic essays about a country that, like any Soviet person, seemed perfect. Years passed, and my opinion about America changed almost to the exact opposite. After one of my concerts, shown on television, the expression “well, stupid!” Was even replicated by pop parodists who made fun of me. True, if you think about the meaning of their parodies, it turns out that in each of them the performers joked not at me, but at the “stupid” Americans, who in the parodies of me looked even more stupid than in my observations. As a result, the phrase “well, stupid!” Became nationwide, and in the American embassy they believed that I had turned Russia against America, and the visa was closed to me. However, all the years went and went ... And recently something happened that even I myself didn’t expect - my opinion about America began to change again. I was even upset: what kind of person am I so unprincipled? For the third time I change my attitude to the country in just twenty-five years. It was rescued by the saying of one of the Eastern sages, which I recently read: “Only a fool does not change his opinion in life!”
ABOUT! So I'm not a fool! And if so, I have the right to share my fresh thoughts with readers and television viewers. Moreover, there are plenty of fools among them, thank God.
Yes, not everything in today's America is perfectly smooth ... However, it’s not for us, in Russia, to condemn them!
First ... They have all the officials are not in the same party! At least two. And that kind of balance. Their congressmen, deputies, members of the government drive themselves in cars and do not “nightmare” the movement in the cities of America with their flashing lights. They have no cities and cannot have a three-lane traffic with a middle lane for two directions at once.
Employees of the FBI and the CIA in this “stupid” America did not take over the entire business in the country from markets, supermarkets and pharmacies to oil, gas, trade weapons, mushrooms and nesting dolls ... They are not part of the equity shareholders in all large companies through fake enterprises, open to their wives, mistresses and lovers mistresses ...
In America, officials can not demand a bribe or rollback with one hundred percent prepayment. In this “stupid” America, they will immediately imprison any “stupid”, without looking at the rank, epaulets, acquaintances ... And the more the official steals, the more time will be given to him. The court sentenced one American lawyer to 78 years in prison, adding terms for violating several laws at the same time. He was carrying a bribe in the car, with which he did not pay tax! At the same time, he exceeded the speed, was not fastened and, while driving, talked on the phone with a client, from whom he extorted another bribe. According to American law, most of our officials would have to spend in prison from three hundred to five hundred years!
In Russia, it does not threaten them. There is a clear domestic sign. If you were put in prison, it means you stole a little. If you were put in the Duma or in a bureaucratic chair, you stole so much that you would never be put in jail! Cars, fur coats, jewels are stolen by little people. Large - steal power plants, railways and oil rigs.
The friendship of businessmen with the Russian authorities today is almost equal to the official license for theft.
Therefore, the US economy does not keep on two prostheses: oil and gas, so it will never fly into the pipe: neither oil nor gas! Moreover, simple “stupid” Americans, unlike simple “smart” Russians, can work! They can not have 15 days of the New Year holidays. And then another 15 days of preparation for the Chinese New Year. It is very difficult for them to explain what the expression “Old New Year” means; it is even more difficult to understand the phrase “test Christmas”.
It may seem primitive to someone, but US security officials are protecting the security of the country, trying to fight the terrorists ... before the attacks! After 11 September, no misfortune struck America! Ours will learn about the attacks only after the terrorist attacks, and right there on television they begin to stigmatize the terrorists, initiate criminal proceedings against them, promise to overfill and leap everyone. After that, the Russian man in the street, accustomed to believing on TV from Soviet times, calms down, and the officials return to their direct duties - sharing the state pie.
After the night club in Perm burned down, all the “insulted offenders” vowed to shut down youth safety clubs that did not meet safety precautions in Russia forever. That is almost everything! And how did you keep your word? Closed for two or three weeks! Nothing had passed in time, and the youth night traps had returned to their incendiary life in all Russian squiggles, including those that had been converted from the former Soviet warehouse premises, barns, chicken coops, barns and basements otglamrennyh new owners to the state of low-ceiling, with the smell rot, penthouses. And in them again, Chinese firecrackers “light up” the fun, soaring to stretch ceilings, which are “at a price lower than the quality”.
The dignity of today's America is not only in their more decent officials. All American retired apartments, reliable medical care, pensions are much higher than the subsistence minimum, which means that we can live on eight square meters of living space until the end of life without paying for gas, water and heating. That is, as on an ice square of eight square meters. True, provided two meals: on Monday and Friday.
And how they value their veterans in America! Is it possible to imagine that the president of America promised apartments in 2010 to veterans who won the Great Victory in 1945? At the same time, local officials, when the same veterans turn to them with a request to provide the apartment promised by the president, respond: “Let the president grant you it. If he really wants, he can give it back. And we have no available apartments available. But we are building, we are trying ... And we promise that by 2020 there will be for sure. Come!"
Isn’t it worth our health care to learn from Americans to protect the health of their citizens? In American pharmacies can not sell fake aspirin and diluted valokordin, which even cats refuse to lick. In America, the ambulance always arrives on time! In Moscow, a prankster staged an experiment: at the same time he called an ambulance and pizza. Pizza arrived at 40 minutes earlier!
American old people with a combination of their pensions and benefits can travel around the world! American old women at airports in the world can be recognized by modern wheelchairs with automated controls and gray, neat hairstyles similar to dandelions. They have enough money ... for beauty salons!
American pluses are everywhere today, you just have to look closely.
They do not smell the entrances in city toilets!
They are not drunk on the streets. Anyone "leaning" against a pole or a lantern will be picked up by the police. At the same time, the police will not clean the poor fellow, they will not take everything from his pocket, including the keys and handkerchiefs.
Unbelievably, but American police do not take bribes! Probably because the "stupid" and just do not know that this is possible.
About American friendliness, our Russian descendants can add legends. Despite the crisis, benevolence remained with the entire service industry. Yes, they can object to me - they have a graft system smile. Well, let! For me it's still better than our unsystematic, innate rudeness.
In America, in the morning on public transport, girls and young women do not go to work on heels and skirts shorter than nails. Ordinary Americans have long understood that high fashion in the morning is a bad taste of someone who has just come from riches to princes.
Naturally, the Americans, like any self-respecting people, have their own mate. True, their mate in comparison with ours is a sluggish check. Nevertheless, even adolescents do not speak bad in public places. My sister was traveling in a trolley bus in Moscow. Two quite decent-looking students were discussing some formula from probability theory for the whole trolley bus. Sister made a remark to them. We must pay tribute to them, silent. Ten minutes later, one to another says:
- Well, now there's nothing to talk about.
Speaking of students ... They have students, after graduating from universities, do not leave the country. To them, to America, from all over the world come to study.
America is gradually abandoning the test system of education. USE left only voluntarily. They understood the main thing: further stupid hopelessly. We adopted an education system that was abandoned all over the world. The feeling that the next radioactive waste with half-life was leaked into one human life.
Therefore, the best scientists do not flee America. Scientists brain drain - this is heat from the government’s minds!
Do not leave America and sports trainers. They are in special honor! Athletes are equated with the heroes of the Fatherland. Young Americans play sports in sports fields that are built next to each school. The muscles of their teenagers are not only pumped up with joysticks and computer mice.
American stadiums cannot open supermarkets, fairs and car dealerships, not to mention casinos and nightclubs zamanuha.
And it is also very enviable that nature is protected in America and that in their suburban forests it is not smoky and not trapped. In forests, lawns, river banks, there are no banks of pepsi-cola, forfeits, red-bula ... Paper and plastic bags do not hang on the branches of bushes, and on the beaches of sand do not stick out used disposable syringes, like mustaches of some underground monsters.
My friend, a forester in the Ussuri region, led the King of Jordan on a trip to the taiga several years ago. The king studied in the Soviet Union, knew Russian well. “Leshy” says to him: “This is a unique place! Here, where we are standing, the man’s foot has not yet stepped! ”The King of Jordan was embarrassed and uncertainly asked“ Leshego ”:
- Did not go foot? And what's that? - and pointed to the ground where the used condom lay.
Americans themselves take care of the nature, and not because they were forced to spend a clean-up day, from which even more garbage remains on the ground. As for us, so that the governors gave the order to clear the forests of garbage, it is necessary that Medvedev and Putin walk across Russia from Kuriles to the Moscow region.
By the way, in one of the Russian cities before Putin’s arrival, it became known that the prime minister wants to visit the city hospital. So the mayor to the city hospital brought ... healthy patients!
Of course, I repeat, far from everything in “stupid” America is not clear. Yes, their policies are aggressive. Her favorite business is the export of her “democracy”. And first of all in those countries where there is oil!
But much more important than any policy is that most Americans live with a smile on their face. Smiles in the streets, in elevators, in the subway, in lines! Most of us walk with a facial expression, as if the day after tomorrow morning is the end of the world, and today is the evening of tomorrow.
I think the most valuable thing in America is that they respect a person in life. Even in newspapers they do not avoid writing something good about popular people. We have another clear modern sign: if someone started talking and writing about someone on TV and in newspapers with love, it means that he died.
Americans value our scientists, our cultural workers more than we do. The great Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko was invited in the USA to lecture American students on Russian poetry! And in Russia it turned out to be superfluous. Like Solzhenitsyn, who was asked to return to show the whole world - we are democrats! And nobody listened to his advice. No, Mr. Solzhenitsyn, we need you as a monument, not as a thinker.
And now the most important thing. America is proud of its history. Moreover, they began to realize that the foundation of the state should be the family. The manifestation of God on Earth is love and nature, not banks and offshores. Even Hollywood has shot several films in a row on the theme of the victory of love and nature over business. Only Avatar proved to us that the Americans were the first to look at themselves ironically, through the eyes of nature. Understand what is more important than the main thing - the good in the world should win the loot! And our “kinogruvovuha” still relieves depression. Those Americans can not create a film that humiliates any of their rulers, as was done in the Russian film “Tsar” - about Ivan the Terrible. Is it possible to suppose that the Americans throw mud at one of their esteemed astronauts, as the creators of the Russian film Soldier of the Paper summed up on this topic, where they tried to pour all the impurities that had accumulated in their souls onto the Soviet cosmonautics.
Incredibly, but the fact is that even Americans study our history more carefully today. Why should our rulers spend money on archaeological excavations? This is a non-profit! It is the Americans who allocate huge money tranches to the excavations that are being conducted now near Voronezh, in the Urals, not far from Perm ... It was thanks to them that it was recently determined on human remains that far from all of humanity spread throughout the Earth from Africa. It turns out that Caucasians matured in the North. And our scientists, because I expressed such thoughts on television as a hypothesis, tried to set me up as a Slavophile imbecile.
It seems that the last years of the Nerds go to America in favor. More recently, blacks were forbidden to appear in public places. And today the new US president is African American. I like this fresh-minded president. With his speeches, he ignites ordinary Americans no worse than a rock star fans.
As it became known from reliable sources, he even gave unwritten instructions to the Baltic countries to pick up a polite address to Russia. He himself expressed a desire to fly to Moscow for the Victory Day. The poor presidents of the Baltic countries are now also forced on 9 May to arrive in the capital of Russia and rejoice in the retinue of the American President's Great Victory along with the hosts of the holiday - the “occupiers”.
And recently, Obama particularly pleased me, repeating the words of French President Sarkozy: “Capitalism does not justify itself! He will continue to lead us into a crisis. ” And for Obama for these words, publicly said, the average Americans applauded. America is developing, developing! They even had a new institution in the government, such as our Soviet Gosplan. So not long to reach socialist competition between banks!
It seems that the Americans decided to build capitalism with a human face. And we? Persistently continue to fight for capitalism with a brazen bureaucratic harey. What is the reason for such a sharp difference? The fact that American law enforcement officers do not believe that they are above the law.
But the most pleasant thing is that with the election of a new president between America and Russia ... the baroque began!
Why is America, despite the global crisis that has broken out because of it, does not burst at the seams, and every year we smile less and less, though, as we are convinced by all our news, have we got out of the crisis? Yes, because we are a tree with chopped off roots. Every time new people come to power in Russia, they rewrite history, slander the past, in order to blame it on all their failures and to justify their own shamelessness in power. A tree without roots withers. It becomes thinner trunk, dried branches turn into knots, and the leaves fall prematurely. Russia today is a mighty oak with almost completely cut off roots. True, this oak still has one living root - this is our Russian common people. Not officials or oligarchs. Neither of them has a homeland. Where they have a profit, there and homeland! So they both are bitches on this life-giving trunk. Well done Americans! Understand where the bitches, and where the roots, before us! And if we don’t learn how to recover from them today, Russia can not be reborn for the first time!
Once I thought that if I was given a visa to America and I would come there again with concerts, I would go on stage, and the saying in my speech would be: “Well, rushn, well, stupid!” And then I realized that I was wrong. Among the Russian people, unique minds with hot hearts have been preserved, which can still become lighters for our future. And they are not as small as it seems.
On one of the Kuril Islands, leaving the hotel, I decided to leave, as it is now fashionable to say, a “bonus” to the cleaner of my room. She pulled her hand away from the thousand-ruble bills, as if from a hot metal:
- Oh, what is it ?! To whom? To me? For what?
“You cleaned my room so carefully during the week!” This is your prize!
- I will not take for anything. And in general ... I already have enough ...
I was simultaneously amazed, shamed and delighted. She has enough! And I know two officials in the Russian government - they are missing! And every day is not enough more. Especially not enough for their wives. Here is just one “but” ... Their wives almost no longer smile for a long time. They underwent plastic surgery, so laughing from the heart is not recommended. The seams will disperse, the lips will burst ... And that cleaning lady in Kunashir smiles even at work. Her future is not strained by a plastic surgeon, her face is not stretched to the tailbone, which is why life has turned backwards.
Yes, having traveled around Russia, I saw that there were still a lot of people preserved in it who live according to the most ancient wisdom: “Money for life, and not life for money!” So all is not lost. We still, as they said in our recent past, can catch up and overtake America not only by the number of dolls per capita. And then we will no longer be jealous of the Americans, who have already had a light at the end of the tunnel, and we still have ... a candle! [Center]
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