Jump Panther. Rehearsal of the First World War

Jump Panther. Rehearsal of the First World War

Civilization brought! French colonial units land in Morocco - 1911 year

These days it was exactly one hundred years since the day of the diplomatic incident, because of which the First World War could have started three years earlier. In July, 1911, a tiny German ship entered the Moroccan port of Agadir, the gunboat Panther. Its armament was insignificant. The crew is small. The only thing the Panthers' decorative cannons were capable of was scaring the natives and knocking oranges from the trees. But the sudden appearance of this “bucket” of the fleet of Kaiser Wilhelm II in the African backwater, the existence of which most European inhabitants did not even suspect, caused an indescribable tantrum that nearly exploded the so-called “civilized world”.

Spat rage, as if on cue, the British free press. But why “free”? And why "how"? The unexpected unanimity of the London newspapers, howling overnight about the "German threat", could only be explained by the same unanimous position of their owners. The team was clearly there - it followed from the London clubs, where the true owners of “public opinion” smoked with cigars along with members of parliament and His Majesty’s ministers.

German caricature. "Panther" and the French camel in Agadir

And the expressive Gallic kicks of the Paris newspapers, whose editorials kicked out the "damned Germans" and their "crazy Kaiser", as if they were throwing up their legs in a cancan, were explained by the same unanimity of the instigators of the colonial policy of "beautiful France." And only Russia, represented by its own “free” press after the royal manifesto of 17 of October 1905, reacted sluggishly to African passions - it has not yet recovered from the shock of the lost Russian-Japanese war. Their unenlightened Far Eastern wounds were baking more painfully than the still undressed Moroccan ones.

But for what reason did the international conflict flare up?

TWO EUROPE. Europe, except for Republican France, was ruled by emperors and kings. However, the similarities between the bourgeois-aristocratic and the current bourgeois-democratic Europe were more than differences. That Europe also appreciated the profit. But, deifying the Golden Calf, most of all, like her modern heir, loved to rant about morality. Today’s Europe carries democratic values ​​and human rights throughout the world. That Europe - educated the "savages" and carried them the "light of civilization." And just as the current West is everywhere concerned about the rights of sexual minorities, he defended Christian missionaries everywhere, which, however, was often the same. And the missionaries know yourself climbed in the "backward" countries! Yes, so quickly that even Yaroslav Hasek (then not a Czech classic, but a loyalist of the Austro-Hungarian crown) wrote one of his most brilliant humorous tales, calling it "As we and Mr. Law Teacher tried to convert African negroes to the Christian faith." Now, Hasek would simply not have been allowed to publish such a work - they would have harassed him with the progressive European pack for the word "Negro" alone. So what's the question, what kind of Europe is “freer” - TA or ETA?

French medal. In memory of the "conquest" of Morocco

True, there were differences between the two Europes. For example, seasonal workers from the border provinces of the Russian Empire went to collect apples in Germany in the autumn as freely as the Czechs from Austria-Hungary went to work in Kiev. At the border, no one asked for their passports. And internal passports were only in Russia and Turkey, for which they were constantly criticized throughout Europe as “police” states. Passages for the short-term stay abroad, even in “reactionary” Russia, were written out right on the border - in the gendarme railway sections - “directorates”, as they were officially called. Austrian officers from the regiments stationed in Galicia went to Russia for the weekend - to Volyn and Podolsk provinces. The officers of the Russian Imperial Army, on the contrary, preferred to rest in Austria - that is, in some Tarnopol or Stanislavov, getting acquainted with the delights of local prostitutes. And even Ivan Franko, who had started to rationalize, whose name the Soviet government had not yet appropriated to the city of Stanislav, without any documents, came from Austrian Lemberg (now Lviv) to Russian Kiev.

Regimental badge. This French part stood in Morocco until 1944

In my opinion, life in that Europe was simply enchanting. She also invented thong panties for beautiful ladies and electric epilators for their equally beautiful legs (the cornet of the 9 of the Kiev Hussars regiment Yury Oslopov in his memoirs insisted that his Lemberg girlfriend shaved his legs and the most secret pleasure destinations of his ceremonial saber - Feel what a syllable is!), This obscene continent would have no price at all! However, the continent, fed up with a beautiful life, dreamed only of drawing blood at least as beautiful. And with all my strength I sought an occasion for this. One of these reasons was the arrival of the gunboat with the erotic name "Panther" in Agadir.

Magazine cover 1911 of the year. France protects the "freedom" of Morocco

UNFORTABLE "UNLIMITED". Morocco is a small African kingdom, whose shores washed the Mediterranean Sea from the north, and the Atlantic Ocean from the west, totaled just over 7 million people (mostly Arabs and Berbers) and occupied an area of ​​460 thousand square meters. km Its southern border was dissolved in the sands of the Sahara desert, where the French colonial possessions began in Algeria. Moroccans were mainly engaged in agriculture, growing olives, wheat and citrus, and cattle breeding. But unfortunately in the depths of the 19th century, deposits of phosphates, manganese, zinc, lead, tin, iron and copper were discovered in their depths. Simple savages, yes such wealth! - almost simultaneously decided in Paris, London, Berlin and Rome.

But the first to divide the prey came running France. Just like today in Libya. In the 1881 year, under the pretext of fighting the raids of Moroccan tribes on Algeria, the French transferred parts of the Foreign Legion to the Sahara and captured several border oases in disputed territories. Surrounding the kingdom from the east and south, in 1901, Paris forced Sultan Abdul-Azis to sign a treaty that authorized the invasion of French troops in Morocco to "maintain order." A year earlier, the French secretly agreed with the Italians on the division of spheres of influence in North Africa: Italy gave France free rein in Morocco, and France responded by agreeing to the right of the Italians to do what they wanted in Libya. There was a “gesheft” - two Eurosleepers shared what did not belong to them.

"WORLD COLONIZATION SOCIETY". But offended Germany. After other great European nations, having embarked on the rails of industrial development, they immediately overtook everyone in terms of growth rates, and then leaving them far behind, Germans also created their own small colonial empire. The Society for German Colonization, created in 1884, complained in an appeal to compatriots: “The German nation came out empty-handed while dividing the globe, which it had witnessed since the 15th century and ending with our days. All other cultural nations of Europe own whole states in not our part of the world ”! As the patriots of Vaterland said: “We also want a place under the sun!” And the sun, as is known, is most in Africa. Therefore, at the end of the 19th century, Germany hastily acquired “German East Africa” (now Tanzania), “German South West Africa” (modern Namibia), and at the same time “bought” Cameroon.

Wherever the Germans appeared, they tyrannically forced the natives to wash their hands, and those who did not want to wash — received the most cruel whipping. Especially did not like to wash the hands of the Herero tribe in German South West Africa. Offended by such disregard for hygiene standards and disrespect for their civilizing mission, German enlighteners, without hesitation, finished off in 1904 — 1906. about 30 thousands of “dirty” herero using the latest automatic weapons - Maxim machine guns. At the same time in the African colonies of European countries went for a walk poem:

For all your questions -
We have one answer:
We have machine guns,
And you do not have them!

True, the first to use this poetic masterpiece even more neat and correct British gentlemen - representatives of the nation, which gave the world a toilet. This poem, praising the achievements of technical progress, they composed after they mowed down machine guns in Sudan in 1898 the army of the local ruler Mahdi. The Sudanese went to desperate mental attacks with sabers, and the British methodically exterminated them with lead rain and even reveled at the same time what they were "heroes."

Churchill's bloody maniac is a member of the genocide in Sudan

Incidentally, the future “savior of the free world” Winston Churchill took part in this bloody massacre. The twenty-four-year-old caulk monster then served in the army of Queen Victoria as a cavalry officer and left a cynical memoir, River War, about her atrocities. Notice that the hypocritical Europe, which judges the Serbian generals in The Hague today and regularly kicks Stalin's corpse, did not even think to condemn the bloody executioner Churchill at least by a conditional historical court. On the contrary, a monument has also been made to this maniac and alcoholic, whose crimes in colonial wars are in no way inferior to Nazi atrocities! Why not drag his ashes to The Hague and disassemble it in pieces? After all, the future Nazis learned from the British! And the first concentration camp for civilians was not invented by the Germans, but by the human-loving British in South Africa during the Boer War 1899 — 1901!

By the beginning of the twentieth century, German capital occupied the third place in the Moroccan economy after the British and French. About 40 German companies built railways here and were engaged in the extraction of raw materials. The government of the German Empire dreamed of building naval bases and coal stations for its fleet on the coast of this country. Therefore, the upcoming occupation of Morocco by the French could not but irritate Berlin. “If we silently allow France to step on our foot in Morocco,” wrote one of the officials of the German Foreign Ministry, “by this we will encourage the repetition of the same in other places.”

FRENCH WANT MOROCCO. Morocco’s independence was guaranteed by the Madrid treatise 1880 of the year. It was signed by 13 states - including Austria-Hungary, France, Belgium, Germany, Great Britain, USA, Italy, Spain, and even cold, far from Africa. In 1905, the First Moroccan Crisis erupted. The emotional and eloquent German emperor Wilhelm II, on the way to the Greek island of Corfu, landed in the Moroccan port of Tangier, where he stated that he was making the visit to the sultan as an “independent monarch”. Wilhelm expressed the hope that “free Morocco” under the rule of the Sultan will remain “open to the peaceful competition of all nations without monopolies and exceptions on the basis of absolute equality” and called for an international conference to be held to defend Moroccan sovereignty.

It is easy to see that Wilhelm II said about the same thing that the WTO is broadcasting today. This is understandable, since the German goods were then supplanted by the British and French around the world, and it was the Germans who were interested in the markets that needed more freedom of trade than others. Finally, the Kaiser added that he considers the Moroccan Sultan to be “an absolutely free monarch”. Today they would say the same thing, but a little differently: “free country” or “free people”. But essentially it would not change. After listening to all this, the Sultan of Morocco realized that Germany was behind him a mountain, and sent the proposed “reform” project in his country to the country from where he had crawled out - to Paris.

"DECLARE MOBILIZATION!" Demarche Wilhelm II in Tangier enraged the French Foreign Ministry. Delcasse's foreign minister, an emotional and stupid man, said that Germany’s demands to preserve the equal rights of the great powers in Morocco are a bluff that doesn’t need to be paid attention even if the Germans threaten France with war. Britain, fearing hypothetical German bases in this African country, promised support to France and said it would land an 100-thousand army on the German coast if Germany declared war on the French.

But Wilhelm continued to bend his line. In response to the threats, he spoke even more decisively: “Let the French ministers know what the risks are ... The German army in front of Paris in three weeks, the revolution in the main cities of France 15 and 7 of frank bribes!”.

On July 6, 1905, frightened by the French government, gathered for an emergency meeting. The question stood squarely: either consent to an international conference, or war. "So what? - the head of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs Delkasse answered to his prime minister Ruvier. “We will announce mobilization!”

The colleagues-ministers looked at their violent fellow as a complete idiot. France's ally Russia fought with Japan in the Far East and could not help. The Germans really would be in three weeks near Paris. Dalcasse was instantly removed from office and agreed to the proposals to convene a conference.

GETTING STILL DIPLOMAT. Wilhelm II was upset. He was not allowed to "save" Morocco and to punish the country of the vile frog eaters on 7 billion francs. But the tension on the African coast did not subside even after the conference. 25 September 1908, the French soldiers stuffed their faces to the secretary of the German consulate in the Moroccan port of Casablanca. The German diplomat tried to take several soldiers of the French Foreign Legion on the boat — German subjects who had been recruited by the Germans into deception into this “terrible” formation, where people were even taken their birth names. Europe was again on the verge of war. Again, Wilhelm II showed weakness and agreed to transfer the case of the Franco-German confrontation to the arbitration proceedings of the Hague Tribunal. Hague mumbled that the French authorities acted correctly, admitting, however, "excessive violence" in the capture of deserters. But France was forced to make an agreement with the Germans on Morocco and pledged "not to obstruct the commercial and industrial interests of Germany" in this country.

And nevertheless on it “the Moroccan fever“ has not ceased. It can be seen, the place was so hectic. Just smeared with honey. Soon, a rebellion broke out in Morocco against the Sultan, caused by feeding local nomads with French money - quite like today in Libya! And 21 May 1911, under the pretext of protecting the legitimate government and protecting European subjects, the French entered the Moroccan capital city of Fez. The Germans could not stand it - someone again establishes the world order and again without us! The gunboat Panther jumped into Agadir.

And here began what the reader already knew about from the beginning of this article. Newspaper tantrum. Mobilization of the French army in Europe. Britain’s oath promise to help at sea and on land. And even the return of mad Delkass to the cabinet of ministers - this time as head of the Navy department. And the war would begin. But only Russia was still “not ready” and set the condition of its assistance to France for the recognition of its right to the Bosphorus and the Dardanelles. Negotiations between Paris and St. Petersburg, as well as Paris and Berlin, the bidding and diplomatic fuss of "secret diplomacy" lasted until the very fall. And crowned 4 in November 1911, the new Franco-German conspiracy. Germany agreed to the occupation by the French of Morocco. France - ceded Germany in Congo 230 000 square. km with 600 thousands of “blacks” and “little ones” or, as we would say today politically correct, “African Africans”. And ... resolved. Until August 1914, when Russia finally felt “ready”.

And then everything ended - good old Europe, Galician smugglers, Austrian officers on weekends in Kamyanets-Podilsky, Russians in Tarnopol, and now nobody knows about the hidden places of Cornet Oslopov’s shaved places. He himself did not finish his memoirs. And girls, as you know, rarely write memoirs - because of innate deceit, which prevents the writing of any honest memories.
Oles Elder
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