The results of the "week" - 2012. “I ask the nerves to leave the hall”
The end of the year. The “snake” is creeping closer, the “Dragon” is moving backwards, which means that it is time to sum up the “dragon” results - the results of 2012 of the year. We offer our readers an opus about which events of the outgoing 2012 thrilled the world and the majority of its inhabitants, about which of these inhabitants were shaken a bit more than all the rest. Perhaps, we will not take responsibility, and build events according to significance, because significance is a very subjective concept, and therefore we offer each of you personally to decide on the places of every single event and, if you wish, add those news of the retreating year, of which there is no mention of these revelations.
So, begins the tale that gave us the Dragon-2012.
About anti-corruption "eggs"
As it is known, Dragons (monitor lizards, lizards and others) are creatures “not suffering” with warm-bloodedness, and therefore the brightest events of the year are notable for their cool composure, about which, however, it is very difficult to coolly narrate.
Take, for example, the most sensational internal Russian 2012 event - the resignation of Defense Minister Anatoly Serdyukov. It would seem, and what, in fact, such an extraordinary happened? Well, the president made the decision on the resignation of a military official - is it really worth making a political sensation out of it? There, in other countries: the resignation of any minister is quite ordinary. But you and I do not live in “other” countries, but in our homeland. And we have any bureaucratic resignation - it's like a bolt from the blue. Perhaps it would not have laughed like that if Anatoly Eduardovich had been asked to ask the numbers of 7 from his post (a day earlier, a day later), but ... The man deigned to linger. His gentle female hands again smoothed his uniform, cleaned his shoes, tied his tie, and not less tender lips said: “Even if they don’t think! You, Anatoly Eduardovich, will fit you even more! ”And yet, apparently, it was good ... At least until the beginning of November of the outgoing leap year. And in November - the soul flew to paradise ...
The country woke up from some kind of tectonic unrest. The Russians began to wonder why this trembling of the Earth began. It turned out that Anatoly Serdyukov was sitting opposite the president and, fidgeting in his chair, nervously tapping his heels on the rubbed floor “Farewell of a Slav” (and, by the way, the farewell of “Slav” by Mr. Elkin). The country and the world learned from the reports of journalists and representatives of the RF IC that the Ministry of Defense in recent years systematically turned into an office of “Horns and hoofs”, and some of the employees of this office allowed themselves to love items that were not essential, hanging walls with them, sprinkling fingers , ears, ramming into the drawers of desks, under the beds and in the bedside tables.
“Black crows” began to roll around Moscow, people in civilian clothes with characteristically moved eyebrows and stone faces, who, as it were said, “a thief should be in prison,” began to walk.
It seemed that it had begun. A widely announced fight against corruption has begun. But ... We have forgotten that the dragon is not a vivacious creature. He first lays eggs. So I put it off, not quite in season (in November), but nonetheless. And according to biorhythms (on the example of the Dragon from Komodo Island), laid eggs will give results only in 8-8,5 months. Let us turn to the calculations: if Anatoly Eduardovich was sent to free bread in November, and if we consider that at the same time the corruption "scandal" began to gain increased speed, then in full accordance with biorhythms, everything should be resolved by the formula "November 2012 plus 8- 8,5 months is equal to July 2013. ” And we are here, you know, waiting for a New Year's gift. Sooner, gentlemen, early ... But until next July, oh-oh-oh, how many events will happen. Anti-corruption eggs can freeze in the cold, bake in the heat or, in the end, be generally eaten by someone without bread and salt ...
Hallelujah, we are in the WTO ...
Year 2012 gave Russia a new status. Since August, we have taken a strong 156 place between Samoa and Vanuatu. What kind of rating is it in which some ill-wishers of the Russian Federation have prepared a place between the said island states? Is it really the anti-corruption rating? - the active reader may wonder. But this is not a rating at all, but a serial number of our country's admission to the World Trade Organization. Yes Yes. Friends, we are now in the WTO. Some even say: deep in the WTO ...
18 years. Long 18 years, Russia went to this wonderful international organization, which, according to the rumors of those same detractors of our development, was created solely to promote global planetary giants in the form of overgrown corporations. But we all know that this is absolutely not the case ... In fact, the WTO is truly a stronghold of commercial humanism, which (the stronghold) even to grandmother dacha from the Tula or Ryazan provinces will allow them to bring their own agricultural products to the world market.
And it happened that in the WTO we were received at the end of the summer - the most fruitful time. The grandmothers, having tied handkerchiefs, already, wanted to go to the agricultural fair somewhere in New York or Sydney, having bought a ticket either for the insurance or for the funded part of the pension. But ... A Gazelle with non-local numbers suddenly approached their six hundred square meters. Dachnitsa thought that the WTO came directly to their home. But only at GAZelle “from the WTO” state number, for some reason, they turned out to be Dagestan ...
Strong guys suggested that the mentioned agricultural producers “three” per kilogram of potatoes, citing new WTO rules and, while they digested that such draconian rules in the year of the Dragon, their crop was loaded into Gazelle and, throwing clouds of rural dust, drove to the side First Throne. There we have the WTO begins, there the WTO, apparently, and ends ...
In general, they say that in just a few years after 18 from the WTO, manna will start falling on us. What kind of manna will it have, while no one specifies, but it will definitely be better than now. They said "it will be!" Means it will be! After all, all our promises are fulfilled!
Good keymaster
2012 year gave us concerts with a sequel. At the end of 2011, a certain part of the country, which had embraced the protest movement, was transferred to the year of the Dragon. In February, the country was given to listen and see a group that decided that it was possible not only to engage in group intercourse in museums, run negligee over fountains in the presence of children, and thrust fresh-frozen foods into places for which only stick preparations were prescribed in a number of countries, but also trample down the Orthodox faith. A group of three, apparently dissatisfied either spiritually or physically, God forgive the girls, broke into the main Orthodox church in the country and showed that most normal people made me want to spit on the TV screen or meet with the "singers" and embody In life, the slogan "Feel our love" with a strong wicker in hand.
After the “concert”, the ladies decided to close, although, in principle, the same keyholder (the term of the Russian Orthodox Church), who argued about “desecrated - not defiled” could simply gather on the day of the “performance” another couple of keykeepers and without any call to the place accidents of law enforcement officers pour the singers in the very places in which they deigned to thrust kits for brawn ... No, we certainly assume that such actions by the clergy would not look quite Christian, but here is the case when the Orthodox world and many, so to speak, sympathizers are unlikely to hold the keys with subclavians condemn. Why are there to condemn ... Who would know about these dissatisfied guitar players? .. Well, you know, we left the Temple with a couple of bruises on soft places - they prayed actively, they fell, the floors were slippery ... And the video cameras of their "co-authors" with the same active prayers hit the ground, and flash drives flashed out of them ...
But everything went along the liberal rails, and, as we know, these rails do not lead to flat terrain.
The era of "Singing for PR", "I urinate for PR", "I drink for them." As a result, the two "virgins" were given real terms, and the third was conditionally sentenced, and they were released back home in the courtroom. The verdict this time insulted the feelings of unbelievers (especially, innocent believers), and the wave of the “human rights” movement cleared the world ... Madonna, Sex Pistols, McCartney said that they “did not hear anything, but they condemn the sentence” ...
For this, Madonna herself, named by an aging man, well-known to us, was almost sentenced in St. Petersburg to the cruiser Aurora crumpling the deck, but she managed to slip out of the hands of Deputy Milonov and St. Petersburg Themis, and, shaking the old way, departed to more tolerant points of the globe ...
Sisadmin and her army
The wave was picked up by the "vocal" representatives of another organization that likes to light the bodies in the presence of outsiders. Speech about, you already guessed it, FEMEN. Breast-fed Anna Hutsol, who, in turn, was also fed and fed by someone, substituted her mammary glands either under falling crosses, sometimes under OMON gloves, then under the hands of the precinct election commission officers. The mammary glands appeared before Patriarch Cyril, before the Egyptian embassy in Sweden, before the French police and French opponents of same-sex marriages. All but the latter reacted to the demonstration of the breasts, which stand up for something, calmly enough, but the French girl’s breasts rattled, and they thoroughly walked their fists on the soft spots of the FEMEN representatives, spoiling those not only soft spots, but also faces and reputation . Shouts were heard in the crowd that if even on the streets of Paris they would see these clownies from under their heads, then everything would be a sabbath! Instead of wreaths, they will put night pots together in their contents on their heads.
And after all, after this, the Hutsol army fighters understood and realized a lot. Some even decided to engage with Eurofeminism and hold actions within their apartments behind curtained windows. So it will be quieter ... But the trouble is that the sponsors clearly do not like such “quiet protests” ... But they are stubborn sponsors - they said with their breasts ahead to the barricades, which means you need to take the peak (under the wreath on the head) and hurry to perform ... So that the wreaths on duty reluctantly, but are again put on the head with silent curses to the employer: "Yes, you died, Gutsol-Shmutsol ..."
Sentenced to a three-room ...
The Year of the Dragon was remembered not by a single lawsuit, and not only in Russia. Many watched what punishment Anders Breivik, a smiling and self-satisfied 77 killer, in Norway, the son of a diplomat and a nurse, would receive in Norway. The world to the depths of the soul struck the crime of this Norwegian subject, to whom, in childhood, either the father-diplomat was too diplomatic and did not whip the belt properly, or the mother-nurse from whooping cough and mumps treated with the wrong medicines.
The Norwegian court reasoned for several months about the terrorist attack in Oslo and the mass execution on the island of Utaya, as well as the degree of guilt of Mr. Breivik. During this time we managed to see the murderer both in a tuxedo and in a suit of a brave officer; and laughing and tearing; and with a spectacular little beard and a smoothly shaved one. Had time to hear how Mr. Breivik at the court extensively argued about his mission in this world, about what society should become in his personal opinion.
Many began to think that the court 33-year-old generally recognizes insane and send a couple of years to breathe the sea air in a special sanatorium for those who are "a little" strayed from the path of life. But the Norwegian Themis went much further! For the murder of 77, the man of Anders Breivik, a Norwegian court sentenced as much to 21 a year in prison with the possibility of extending this term. Yes, he condemned that the cold-blooded murderer is now "dragging out a miserable existence" in a three-room chamber consisting of a study, a bed-room and a gym, complaining about low ceilings and forced daily cleaning of teeth under the supervision of guards and calling the conditions of their contents truly sadistic. And indeed, the punishment is more than harsh! And in general - solid sadists, these Norwegian penitentiary staff. That, you understand, fish will be served to the inmate, then they will overcook the coffee, then they will forget to lubricate the exercise bike. In the end insolent fiends! Is it possible to oppress a gentleman who nearly gave freedom to all mankind?
Yes, these monsters and breivikofobov now save only one thing - an indispensable and momentary amnesty for the "shooter" with the right to wear personal weapons and orders on ironed suit. Well, or at least let the fish be fried in olive oil, so that the prisoner does not torment the prisoner's heartburn ...
Ear for Mitt
And what about the most democratic elections in the other hemisphere? Get away! Get away! Still not succeed! The election on Tuesday is the very thing. According to the “box” they stubbornly showed the world two candidates, and there were (here they are) other ones ... And did you hear their names? Oh yes, you are very lucky! The most democratic American-TV in the world did not complain to Mr. Johnson and Mrs. Stein during the airtime, and the debate with them took place in the intervals between advertising cat litter fillers and dishwashing detergents after eating roast turkey as food.
Americans vigorously voted: in laundries and hot dogs, in offices of family psychotherapists and societies of anonymous drug addicts. Foreign observers, as usual, in the United States, watched the election on television or from a distance shot M-16 rifle. OSCE ODIHR activists, who decided to come closer to the polling stations in the United States for the sake of interest, experienced what the sheriff’s fist meant. In general, the election of all progressive humanity recognized democratic. But what else? .. Demos won again ...
But poor Mitt lost. Lost not just the presidential candidate of the fairest and most fair state in the whole world. Lost the bishop of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Lost the father of five sons. He lost an exemplary husband, whom the American counterpart of the Russian Investigative Committee had never been able to catch in the apartment of a stranger woman early in the morning ... A man, deeply concerned about the problems of each of us - Russians, lost.
Republican flags are lowered, the US anthem is playing in the opposite direction ...
In a difficult struggle, as is customary among the political show business of the United States, he clung to Obama's jacket with all his might, calling for help the most democratic heads: from Zbigniew Brzezinski to “prisoner of war” John McCain. He and his entourage confused the letters in the name of the state from republican unrest: Amercia instead of America (sorry not USSR instead of USA). He knew exactly who the main enemy of the star-striped country.
But, as his supporters affectionately called him in Russia, Mitya still suffered a fiasco. And in this regard, in November of the Dragon Year in Russia and on Brighton, a proverb began to walk: “Mitka loses — she asks for fish soup ...” So, it would be possible to throw off a pair of bream…
Learn Russian, you will be a guest!
In 2012, Russia was actively discussing how to deal with migration, both internal and external. Our legislators, as it sometimes happens (although somewhat less often than in our fraternal Ukrainian Rada), are now hot and sometimes cold. After the ministry responsible for the development of the Far East was created in the Government, some deputies attended to the problem of undeveloped territories and offered to literally immediately open Russia's borders to 50-70 millions of foreign citizens. They say that exactly so many Kyrgyz, Uzbek, Tajik, Moldavian, Turkmen and other citizens will save the Russian Far East from inevitable decay ... Trains and other vehicles, in accordance with the opinion of a single deputy, should be sent in chains to BAM, Transsib and other highways in the direction of Primorye, Amur and Koryak, to make even of Magadan paradise.
True, the MP was destined not to support his own initiative after Vladimir Putin’s words that we need only qualified immigrants and Russian immigrants, and we have enough employees from “bring-bring”, “stuck-fall off”. And so that the "highly qualified" specialists felt that they were entering the space of Russian culture, it was decided to introduce an exam on the knowledge of Russian at a basic level.
And as soon as this exam was not hayali, those who decided to make money on the boundless Russian open spaces, changing their native village or kishlak to a “cozy” high-rise basement or guard booth from a metal profile in the near Moscow region. They say, brothers, yes this is real arbitrariness on the part of the Russian authorities. You understand, we came to Mother Russia from her knees to raise: lay the facades of four-story cottages of businessmen and officials, build pools at summer cottages for traffic police officers or assistant deputies of regional council assemblies, and here you are rolling a barrel ... But why should an ordinary Tajik guest worker understand the language of Tolstoy and Esenin because he is in a Moscow hostel and can register without his knowledge. Maybe he and without knowledge of Russian with law enforcement officers and officers of the FMS in the "belmes-note" language agree.
In general, the exam was embarrassed, official Moscow was accused of violating human rights, new imperial ambitions and unwillingness to switch to an innovative economy. Oh, what you wanted: so that the poor, prededy guest worker also paid Russian for the exam to the treasury! Guard! Arbitrariness !! Rob !!!
"And the grandmothers" carried this wedding into the distance ... "
And at about the same time the unrestrained merriment of Dagestani, Chechen and Ingush weddings reached the central regions of Russia. Citizens who went about their business, looked at how the motorcade of cars, with a cost comparable to the cost of a dozen apartment buildings requiring major repairs in Gudermes, Kizlyar and Nazran, glittered with the registration numbers of the North Caucasian republics. Not only were the numbers of cars sparkling, but also the “cannons” polished to a shine, of which heated Caucasian guests fired in all directions as the sounds of a festive lezginka spread from Manezhnaya to MKAD. To the calls of the traffic police officers to stop immediately, the drivers of the head car tuples reacted with characteristic figures folded from their hands-free fingers. The fingers of the other hand (also free from driving ...) have already dialed the number of a great-uncle on the line of the mother of the grandfather of the bride, who, according to party lists, passed to the parliament last December.
Grandpa, having received a “message”, had already turned on his “blue bucket”, and rushed through 11 red signals of Moscow traffic lights and 8 double solid along the line allocated for public transport, before that, according to the ancient mountain custom, dried horn whiskey to the bottom ... As a result, he was ready to go straight to Tverskaya Street with words about what intimate relations with law enforcement officers who stopped the motorcade, a relative gave the continuation of the wedding the green light, and promised to shoot the detainee for shooting.
As a result, both this wedding and many others continued to sing and dance to shooters involuntarily bending down from the traumatic weapon that was legally registered to the bride, forcing the citizens ... Young people were walking in restaurants, where Kyrgyz citizens who bought medical books through the legal aid agency worked as Japanese chefs and waiters To workers from Central Asia. Year of the Dragon lasted ...
End of the end
People lived quietly; when the word “Maya” was born, the majority born an association with the name of a famous ballerina or a bee from a German cartoon; used the good old Gregorian calendar ... And then someone decided that the Gregorian calendar was a relic of calendar stagnation and it was time to dive deeper into the depths of the ages. They dived and emerged with a face twisted with horror. Mother honest! And it’s not long to live - 21 December 2012, it turns out, is the end. Why end? How is the end? Is it authorized by the local authorities?
It turned out that the Maya ancient Indians had sanctioned it a few hundred, or even thousands of years ago. Well, not that sanctioned - just a stone for them to mark the calendar epoch ended - so they decided to stop there. Well, in fact - not infinitely the same peck on the stone, it is necessary to do the same thing.
And then it just so coincided that the time of crisis, hang on many loans, the Sochi Olympic facilities need to pass in time, the pension system is reformed - so they decided, it means, to recall the prophecy. People began to show the relevant films about possible scenes of the end of the world: you understand, the State Duma will be transferred from the center outside the Moscow Ring Road, then Rosatom Sergey Kiriyenko will acquire a controlling stake in the solar nuclear reactor, then in the Magnitsky list there will suddenly be a secret code that resurrects Stalin ...
In general, by December, many had stocked up with salt, matches, and, just in case, toilet paper. Some bought tickets to the bunker, and some - to the concert of Marilyn Manson.
As a result, it turned out that the Maya "threw" these people ... Well, or these people threw themselves ... And what do they do now with all this salt? Is that in the forest - elk feed.
This is how he was - the Year of the Dragon: controversial and difficult, inspiring and defusing illusions, giving cause for joy and urging us not to forget about our assignment in a family, team, country, world. In general, a year as a year, as they say, is neither better nor worse than others. And, taking advantage of the situation, I would like to congratulate all our readers with its ending, as well as congratulations on the coming year. Hopefully, 2013 will deliver extremely positive news. Happy friends! Add the news that the authors of "Military Review" missed as significant and significant in their final articles. And understand us correctly: the immensity is very difficult to embrace ...
* “I ask the nerves to leave the hall” - a phrase from the movie “The Golden Calf”
So, begins the tale that gave us the Dragon-2012.
About anti-corruption "eggs"
As it is known, Dragons (monitor lizards, lizards and others) are creatures “not suffering” with warm-bloodedness, and therefore the brightest events of the year are notable for their cool composure, about which, however, it is very difficult to coolly narrate.
Take, for example, the most sensational internal Russian 2012 event - the resignation of Defense Minister Anatoly Serdyukov. It would seem, and what, in fact, such an extraordinary happened? Well, the president made the decision on the resignation of a military official - is it really worth making a political sensation out of it? There, in other countries: the resignation of any minister is quite ordinary. But you and I do not live in “other” countries, but in our homeland. And we have any bureaucratic resignation - it's like a bolt from the blue. Perhaps it would not have laughed like that if Anatoly Eduardovich had been asked to ask the numbers of 7 from his post (a day earlier, a day later), but ... The man deigned to linger. His gentle female hands again smoothed his uniform, cleaned his shoes, tied his tie, and not less tender lips said: “Even if they don’t think! You, Anatoly Eduardovich, will fit you even more! ”And yet, apparently, it was good ... At least until the beginning of November of the outgoing leap year. And in November - the soul flew to paradise ...
The country woke up from some kind of tectonic unrest. The Russians began to wonder why this trembling of the Earth began. It turned out that Anatoly Serdyukov was sitting opposite the president and, fidgeting in his chair, nervously tapping his heels on the rubbed floor “Farewell of a Slav” (and, by the way, the farewell of “Slav” by Mr. Elkin). The country and the world learned from the reports of journalists and representatives of the RF IC that the Ministry of Defense in recent years systematically turned into an office of “Horns and hoofs”, and some of the employees of this office allowed themselves to love items that were not essential, hanging walls with them, sprinkling fingers , ears, ramming into the drawers of desks, under the beds and in the bedside tables.
“Black crows” began to roll around Moscow, people in civilian clothes with characteristically moved eyebrows and stone faces, who, as it were said, “a thief should be in prison,” began to walk.
It seemed that it had begun. A widely announced fight against corruption has begun. But ... We have forgotten that the dragon is not a vivacious creature. He first lays eggs. So I put it off, not quite in season (in November), but nonetheless. And according to biorhythms (on the example of the Dragon from Komodo Island), laid eggs will give results only in 8-8,5 months. Let us turn to the calculations: if Anatoly Eduardovich was sent to free bread in November, and if we consider that at the same time the corruption "scandal" began to gain increased speed, then in full accordance with biorhythms, everything should be resolved by the formula "November 2012 plus 8- 8,5 months is equal to July 2013. ” And we are here, you know, waiting for a New Year's gift. Sooner, gentlemen, early ... But until next July, oh-oh-oh, how many events will happen. Anti-corruption eggs can freeze in the cold, bake in the heat or, in the end, be generally eaten by someone without bread and salt ...
Hallelujah, we are in the WTO ...
Year 2012 gave Russia a new status. Since August, we have taken a strong 156 place between Samoa and Vanuatu. What kind of rating is it in which some ill-wishers of the Russian Federation have prepared a place between the said island states? Is it really the anti-corruption rating? - the active reader may wonder. But this is not a rating at all, but a serial number of our country's admission to the World Trade Organization. Yes Yes. Friends, we are now in the WTO. Some even say: deep in the WTO ...
18 years. Long 18 years, Russia went to this wonderful international organization, which, according to the rumors of those same detractors of our development, was created solely to promote global planetary giants in the form of overgrown corporations. But we all know that this is absolutely not the case ... In fact, the WTO is truly a stronghold of commercial humanism, which (the stronghold) even to grandmother dacha from the Tula or Ryazan provinces will allow them to bring their own agricultural products to the world market.
And it happened that in the WTO we were received at the end of the summer - the most fruitful time. The grandmothers, having tied handkerchiefs, already, wanted to go to the agricultural fair somewhere in New York or Sydney, having bought a ticket either for the insurance or for the funded part of the pension. But ... A Gazelle with non-local numbers suddenly approached their six hundred square meters. Dachnitsa thought that the WTO came directly to their home. But only at GAZelle “from the WTO” state number, for some reason, they turned out to be Dagestan ...
Strong guys suggested that the mentioned agricultural producers “three” per kilogram of potatoes, citing new WTO rules and, while they digested that such draconian rules in the year of the Dragon, their crop was loaded into Gazelle and, throwing clouds of rural dust, drove to the side First Throne. There we have the WTO begins, there the WTO, apparently, and ends ...
In general, they say that in just a few years after 18 from the WTO, manna will start falling on us. What kind of manna will it have, while no one specifies, but it will definitely be better than now. They said "it will be!" Means it will be! After all, all our promises are fulfilled!
Good keymaster
2012 year gave us concerts with a sequel. At the end of 2011, a certain part of the country, which had embraced the protest movement, was transferred to the year of the Dragon. In February, the country was given to listen and see a group that decided that it was possible not only to engage in group intercourse in museums, run negligee over fountains in the presence of children, and thrust fresh-frozen foods into places for which only stick preparations were prescribed in a number of countries, but also trample down the Orthodox faith. A group of three, apparently dissatisfied either spiritually or physically, God forgive the girls, broke into the main Orthodox church in the country and showed that most normal people made me want to spit on the TV screen or meet with the "singers" and embody In life, the slogan "Feel our love" with a strong wicker in hand.
After the “concert”, the ladies decided to close, although, in principle, the same keyholder (the term of the Russian Orthodox Church), who argued about “desecrated - not defiled” could simply gather on the day of the “performance” another couple of keykeepers and without any call to the place accidents of law enforcement officers pour the singers in the very places in which they deigned to thrust kits for brawn ... No, we certainly assume that such actions by the clergy would not look quite Christian, but here is the case when the Orthodox world and many, so to speak, sympathizers are unlikely to hold the keys with subclavians condemn. Why are there to condemn ... Who would know about these dissatisfied guitar players? .. Well, you know, we left the Temple with a couple of bruises on soft places - they prayed actively, they fell, the floors were slippery ... And the video cameras of their "co-authors" with the same active prayers hit the ground, and flash drives flashed out of them ...
But everything went along the liberal rails, and, as we know, these rails do not lead to flat terrain.
The era of "Singing for PR", "I urinate for PR", "I drink for them." As a result, the two "virgins" were given real terms, and the third was conditionally sentenced, and they were released back home in the courtroom. The verdict this time insulted the feelings of unbelievers (especially, innocent believers), and the wave of the “human rights” movement cleared the world ... Madonna, Sex Pistols, McCartney said that they “did not hear anything, but they condemn the sentence” ...
For this, Madonna herself, named by an aging man, well-known to us, was almost sentenced in St. Petersburg to the cruiser Aurora crumpling the deck, but she managed to slip out of the hands of Deputy Milonov and St. Petersburg Themis, and, shaking the old way, departed to more tolerant points of the globe ...
Sisadmin and her army
The wave was picked up by the "vocal" representatives of another organization that likes to light the bodies in the presence of outsiders. Speech about, you already guessed it, FEMEN. Breast-fed Anna Hutsol, who, in turn, was also fed and fed by someone, substituted her mammary glands either under falling crosses, sometimes under OMON gloves, then under the hands of the precinct election commission officers. The mammary glands appeared before Patriarch Cyril, before the Egyptian embassy in Sweden, before the French police and French opponents of same-sex marriages. All but the latter reacted to the demonstration of the breasts, which stand up for something, calmly enough, but the French girl’s breasts rattled, and they thoroughly walked their fists on the soft spots of the FEMEN representatives, spoiling those not only soft spots, but also faces and reputation . Shouts were heard in the crowd that if even on the streets of Paris they would see these clownies from under their heads, then everything would be a sabbath! Instead of wreaths, they will put night pots together in their contents on their heads.
And after all, after this, the Hutsol army fighters understood and realized a lot. Some even decided to engage with Eurofeminism and hold actions within their apartments behind curtained windows. So it will be quieter ... But the trouble is that the sponsors clearly do not like such “quiet protests” ... But they are stubborn sponsors - they said with their breasts ahead to the barricades, which means you need to take the peak (under the wreath on the head) and hurry to perform ... So that the wreaths on duty reluctantly, but are again put on the head with silent curses to the employer: "Yes, you died, Gutsol-Shmutsol ..."
Sentenced to a three-room ...
The Year of the Dragon was remembered not by a single lawsuit, and not only in Russia. Many watched what punishment Anders Breivik, a smiling and self-satisfied 77 killer, in Norway, the son of a diplomat and a nurse, would receive in Norway. The world to the depths of the soul struck the crime of this Norwegian subject, to whom, in childhood, either the father-diplomat was too diplomatic and did not whip the belt properly, or the mother-nurse from whooping cough and mumps treated with the wrong medicines.
The Norwegian court reasoned for several months about the terrorist attack in Oslo and the mass execution on the island of Utaya, as well as the degree of guilt of Mr. Breivik. During this time we managed to see the murderer both in a tuxedo and in a suit of a brave officer; and laughing and tearing; and with a spectacular little beard and a smoothly shaved one. Had time to hear how Mr. Breivik at the court extensively argued about his mission in this world, about what society should become in his personal opinion.
Many began to think that the court 33-year-old generally recognizes insane and send a couple of years to breathe the sea air in a special sanatorium for those who are "a little" strayed from the path of life. But the Norwegian Themis went much further! For the murder of 77, the man of Anders Breivik, a Norwegian court sentenced as much to 21 a year in prison with the possibility of extending this term. Yes, he condemned that the cold-blooded murderer is now "dragging out a miserable existence" in a three-room chamber consisting of a study, a bed-room and a gym, complaining about low ceilings and forced daily cleaning of teeth under the supervision of guards and calling the conditions of their contents truly sadistic. And indeed, the punishment is more than harsh! And in general - solid sadists, these Norwegian penitentiary staff. That, you understand, fish will be served to the inmate, then they will overcook the coffee, then they will forget to lubricate the exercise bike. In the end insolent fiends! Is it possible to oppress a gentleman who nearly gave freedom to all mankind?
Yes, these monsters and breivikofobov now save only one thing - an indispensable and momentary amnesty for the "shooter" with the right to wear personal weapons and orders on ironed suit. Well, or at least let the fish be fried in olive oil, so that the prisoner does not torment the prisoner's heartburn ...
Ear for Mitt
And what about the most democratic elections in the other hemisphere? Get away! Get away! Still not succeed! The election on Tuesday is the very thing. According to the “box” they stubbornly showed the world two candidates, and there were (here they are) other ones ... And did you hear their names? Oh yes, you are very lucky! The most democratic American-TV in the world did not complain to Mr. Johnson and Mrs. Stein during the airtime, and the debate with them took place in the intervals between advertising cat litter fillers and dishwashing detergents after eating roast turkey as food.
Americans vigorously voted: in laundries and hot dogs, in offices of family psychotherapists and societies of anonymous drug addicts. Foreign observers, as usual, in the United States, watched the election on television or from a distance shot M-16 rifle. OSCE ODIHR activists, who decided to come closer to the polling stations in the United States for the sake of interest, experienced what the sheriff’s fist meant. In general, the election of all progressive humanity recognized democratic. But what else? .. Demos won again ...
But poor Mitt lost. Lost not just the presidential candidate of the fairest and most fair state in the whole world. Lost the bishop of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Lost the father of five sons. He lost an exemplary husband, whom the American counterpart of the Russian Investigative Committee had never been able to catch in the apartment of a stranger woman early in the morning ... A man, deeply concerned about the problems of each of us - Russians, lost.
Republican flags are lowered, the US anthem is playing in the opposite direction ...
In a difficult struggle, as is customary among the political show business of the United States, he clung to Obama's jacket with all his might, calling for help the most democratic heads: from Zbigniew Brzezinski to “prisoner of war” John McCain. He and his entourage confused the letters in the name of the state from republican unrest: Amercia instead of America (sorry not USSR instead of USA). He knew exactly who the main enemy of the star-striped country.
But, as his supporters affectionately called him in Russia, Mitya still suffered a fiasco. And in this regard, in November of the Dragon Year in Russia and on Brighton, a proverb began to walk: “Mitka loses — she asks for fish soup ...” So, it would be possible to throw off a pair of bream…
Learn Russian, you will be a guest!
In 2012, Russia was actively discussing how to deal with migration, both internal and external. Our legislators, as it sometimes happens (although somewhat less often than in our fraternal Ukrainian Rada), are now hot and sometimes cold. After the ministry responsible for the development of the Far East was created in the Government, some deputies attended to the problem of undeveloped territories and offered to literally immediately open Russia's borders to 50-70 millions of foreign citizens. They say that exactly so many Kyrgyz, Uzbek, Tajik, Moldavian, Turkmen and other citizens will save the Russian Far East from inevitable decay ... Trains and other vehicles, in accordance with the opinion of a single deputy, should be sent in chains to BAM, Transsib and other highways in the direction of Primorye, Amur and Koryak, to make even of Magadan paradise.
True, the MP was destined not to support his own initiative after Vladimir Putin’s words that we need only qualified immigrants and Russian immigrants, and we have enough employees from “bring-bring”, “stuck-fall off”. And so that the "highly qualified" specialists felt that they were entering the space of Russian culture, it was decided to introduce an exam on the knowledge of Russian at a basic level.
And as soon as this exam was not hayali, those who decided to make money on the boundless Russian open spaces, changing their native village or kishlak to a “cozy” high-rise basement or guard booth from a metal profile in the near Moscow region. They say, brothers, yes this is real arbitrariness on the part of the Russian authorities. You understand, we came to Mother Russia from her knees to raise: lay the facades of four-story cottages of businessmen and officials, build pools at summer cottages for traffic police officers or assistant deputies of regional council assemblies, and here you are rolling a barrel ... But why should an ordinary Tajik guest worker understand the language of Tolstoy and Esenin because he is in a Moscow hostel and can register without his knowledge. Maybe he and without knowledge of Russian with law enforcement officers and officers of the FMS in the "belmes-note" language agree.
In general, the exam was embarrassed, official Moscow was accused of violating human rights, new imperial ambitions and unwillingness to switch to an innovative economy. Oh, what you wanted: so that the poor, prededy guest worker also paid Russian for the exam to the treasury! Guard! Arbitrariness !! Rob !!!
"And the grandmothers" carried this wedding into the distance ... "
And at about the same time the unrestrained merriment of Dagestani, Chechen and Ingush weddings reached the central regions of Russia. Citizens who went about their business, looked at how the motorcade of cars, with a cost comparable to the cost of a dozen apartment buildings requiring major repairs in Gudermes, Kizlyar and Nazran, glittered with the registration numbers of the North Caucasian republics. Not only were the numbers of cars sparkling, but also the “cannons” polished to a shine, of which heated Caucasian guests fired in all directions as the sounds of a festive lezginka spread from Manezhnaya to MKAD. To the calls of the traffic police officers to stop immediately, the drivers of the head car tuples reacted with characteristic figures folded from their hands-free fingers. The fingers of the other hand (also free from driving ...) have already dialed the number of a great-uncle on the line of the mother of the grandfather of the bride, who, according to party lists, passed to the parliament last December.
Grandpa, having received a “message”, had already turned on his “blue bucket”, and rushed through 11 red signals of Moscow traffic lights and 8 double solid along the line allocated for public transport, before that, according to the ancient mountain custom, dried horn whiskey to the bottom ... As a result, he was ready to go straight to Tverskaya Street with words about what intimate relations with law enforcement officers who stopped the motorcade, a relative gave the continuation of the wedding the green light, and promised to shoot the detainee for shooting.
As a result, both this wedding and many others continued to sing and dance to shooters involuntarily bending down from the traumatic weapon that was legally registered to the bride, forcing the citizens ... Young people were walking in restaurants, where Kyrgyz citizens who bought medical books through the legal aid agency worked as Japanese chefs and waiters To workers from Central Asia. Year of the Dragon lasted ...
End of the end
People lived quietly; when the word “Maya” was born, the majority born an association with the name of a famous ballerina or a bee from a German cartoon; used the good old Gregorian calendar ... And then someone decided that the Gregorian calendar was a relic of calendar stagnation and it was time to dive deeper into the depths of the ages. They dived and emerged with a face twisted with horror. Mother honest! And it’s not long to live - 21 December 2012, it turns out, is the end. Why end? How is the end? Is it authorized by the local authorities?
It turned out that the Maya ancient Indians had sanctioned it a few hundred, or even thousands of years ago. Well, not that sanctioned - just a stone for them to mark the calendar epoch ended - so they decided to stop there. Well, in fact - not infinitely the same peck on the stone, it is necessary to do the same thing.
And then it just so coincided that the time of crisis, hang on many loans, the Sochi Olympic facilities need to pass in time, the pension system is reformed - so they decided, it means, to recall the prophecy. People began to show the relevant films about possible scenes of the end of the world: you understand, the State Duma will be transferred from the center outside the Moscow Ring Road, then Rosatom Sergey Kiriyenko will acquire a controlling stake in the solar nuclear reactor, then in the Magnitsky list there will suddenly be a secret code that resurrects Stalin ...
In general, by December, many had stocked up with salt, matches, and, just in case, toilet paper. Some bought tickets to the bunker, and some - to the concert of Marilyn Manson.
As a result, it turned out that the Maya "threw" these people ... Well, or these people threw themselves ... And what do they do now with all this salt? Is that in the forest - elk feed.
This is how he was - the Year of the Dragon: controversial and difficult, inspiring and defusing illusions, giving cause for joy and urging us not to forget about our assignment in a family, team, country, world. In general, a year as a year, as they say, is neither better nor worse than others. And, taking advantage of the situation, I would like to congratulate all our readers with its ending, as well as congratulations on the coming year. Hopefully, 2013 will deliver extremely positive news. Happy friends! Add the news that the authors of "Military Review" missed as significant and significant in their final articles. And understand us correctly: the immensity is very difficult to embrace ...
* “I ask the nerves to leave the hall” - a phrase from the movie “The Golden Calf”
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