Results of the week. "Saw, Shura, saw!"
Part I. "Do not mow your eyes on someone else's kvass!"
The last order of the Minister
How paintings and diamonds are brought to hospital bed
Do you know, dear readers, about the last order of Anatoly Serdyukov in his former defense position? No, he did not deprive himself of his pension and did not even send himself to a monastery in connection with a corruption scandal. The last order of the Minister reads: dismiss all deputies, including the so-called “ministry of defense harem”, who for many years faithfully served the Fatherland ...
Women, anticipating something amiss, probably yelled: who are you ... ..., Anatoliy-light Eduardovich ... But Anatoly Eduardovich was no longer with them with his thoughts. He collected all his orders and medals, erased photographs of blond and light department heads from the ministerial computer’s hard drive, glanced at the portrait of the Chief on the wall, put a big sharp button on the ministerial chair and, holding the leather briefcase under his arm, departed in a poorly known direction.
After that, among the ladies who once had a relationship with the Ministry of Defense, a commotion began. Some tried to push 56 genuine canvases by famous Russian artists under the bed. Others handed out diamond rings to all their relatives down to the second cousins of the nephews' godfathers. The third kindled fireplaces in their multi-storey mansions with “honestly earned” bills.
Some who could not stand the thin female nerves, but because some people had to go to the hospital with an unexpectedly serious diagnosis, which does not even allow the patient to talk with the investigators. Either my throat was dry, or my tongue began to turn badly ... It could, of course, be shown on my fingers, but Mrs. E. Vasilyeva has not enough fingers and toes to demonstrate the amount of money that comes from the treasury. to put it mildly, moving in the wrong direction.
Today, many are discussing, and what, in fact, did numerous paintings of Russian painters in the apartment of Mrs. Vasilyeva, who is considered one of the main figures in the case of Rosoboronservice? After all, the paintings seem to be attributed to Russian museums ... The answer to this question is ridiculously simple: it turns out there is some paper according to which the paintings needed to be provided with “better storage conditions” by transferring them to the Ministry of Defense. Apparently, the most reliable place in the main military department of the country was precisely the apartment of Mrs. Vasilyeva, where Shishkin, Aivazovsky, Repin, Levitan and other representatives of Russian art school “arrived”.
What is surprising is how it is in the apartments of the “sisters by arms"Mr. Serdyukov did not reveal the royal thrones and dark-skinned slaves with fans and loincloths ... Although the result is in full swing, so anything can open ...
And let GLONASS wait ...
Six and a half billion stolen from RKS State Corporation
"On the thief and the cap is on." For a long time, this expression was tried to be verified by the officers of the investigative bodies of Russia in relation to the state corporation Russian Space Systems. For about three years, operational officers, let's say, watched what kind of perturbations are carried out within the framework of the state corporation, which was also responsible for the implementation of the GLONASS project. And now, three years later, the caps began to burn. Why are there to burn - blaze began on the heads of the most responsible comrades. Why did it take three years to bring the “skeet specialists” to clear water? Well, here everything is consistent with another proverb, which tells how we harness a long time, but then we go fast.
During the investigation, it turned out that instead of using funds to develop the satellite constellation in orbit, as well as to create high-quality software necessary for processing the information coming from the satellites, the RCC specialists decided to use the funds allocated from the budget a little differently. “Experienced” employees decided that the Russians could still have ... so to wait for the introduction of the GLONASS system and use the American GPS, and therefore it is better to replenish their private budgets with the help of public funds. To do this, according to a scheme that has been tested over the years, several dummy firms were created that turned over hundreds of millions of rubles, having a staff at best in the state. For the time being, for mysterious reasons, the satellites continued to plow the expanses of the Pacific Ocean after the traditional accidents, the taxpayers' money was stuffed with wallets and generously replenished the accounts of the staff of the above-mentioned state corporation.
Investigators revealed the theft of as much as 6,5 a billion rubles in OJSC RKS, but the press service of the state corporation represented by Mr. Zubakhin said that the data provided by the investigators was nonsense ... Apparently, the press secretary of the Russian Space Systems was behind the money the mountain, which the specialists from the state corporation had managed to get, began to forget that in front of the strict officials of the investigative bodies it’s not worth making a fuss. As a result, it was necessary, as always, to interfere with the Kremlin. From there, Mr. Zubakhin was told that he, and with him the whole department, in which the press secretary deigns to work, did not doubt the work of the investigators and be more careful with the statements ...
To alleviate the situation, another staff member of the department made a speech, who assured everyone that the theft did not, you see, affect the implementation of the plans for the implementation of the GLONASS system. 6 with a half billion - bye-bye, the satellite constellation can not be brought into a decent form, but "it didn’t reflect in any way." And we certainly believe him ...
Steal can not be kept
The APEC Summit minus 93,3 million = don't wait for me, mother ...
Yeah ... A rich week has stood out to expose the socialist plunderers ... uh, sorry, state ownership. One gets the impression that in our country, ministries and departments often organize such social competitions in the spirit of “Who will turn someone?” The Defense Ministry: 3 + 1 (?) Billion rubles, “Russian space systems” - 6,5 billion rubles. Decided to make their "modest" contribution to this "march of billions" and officials from the Ministry of Regional Development. True, here up to billions were not reached, having noted the sum “only” in 93,3 of a million rubles ...
The “modest” who did not reach the level of embezzlement from the state budget to the “average” in the departments was the former deputy head of the Ministry of Regional Development Roman Panov. Today, Mr. Panov is the head of the government of the Perm region. The region is not poor, which means that this is for the official who has already managed to taste the sweet fruits of the point withdrawal of funds from the budget.
The investigating authorities suspect the ex-regional that he and several other people decided to assign tens of millions of rubles, which were intended to prepare for the APEC summit in Vladivostok. The principle of appropriation was a classic for modern bureaucrats: competitions were held aimed at concluding government contracts with enterprises, and according to the results of these competitions, in any case, they won "the necessary desks". Through the "winners" in competitions, organizations and pumped multimillion-dollar funds, pleasing the rustling of officials of various ranks. The rustle of notes so clouded the eyes of these people that corruption schemes scrolled over and over again. No - here, of course, it did without Aivazovsky, but the ninth wave rose anyway ...
Surprisingly, no one has yet come out from the Ministry of Regional Development and did not say that the abduction of funds had no effect on the preparation of the summit in Vladivostok ... That the newly built highways in the Far East crawled and collapsed after the first rain by themselves, that 90 millions more, 90 millions less ...
And no one also called a delirium against Mr. Panov. Apparently, the lesson of Mr. Zubakhin from RCS did not pass without a trace, otherwise they will have to go to the hospital, like Mrs. Vasilyeva, because of the acute attack of inability to testify ...
The Council "liquidates" migrants
Who is MOGR and how is it better than an internal migrant?
This week I decided to show off with my political activity the Presidential Council on Interethnic Relations. Recall that this structure was created on the initiative of Vladimir Putin in June 2012.
So, the Council staff decided to pay attention to the problem of internal migration. Well, how to draw ... Rename! After all, the renamed problem in our country is a problem solved.
According to experts, in Russia it is urgently necessary to prohibit the use of such a term as “internal migrant”, because the phrase itself allegedly offends the honor and dignity of a person who has moved from one region of the Russian Federation to another in order to find work. In what exactly the insult is expressed, the employees of the AEIA did not explain, saying only that our people, as soon as they heard the word “migrant”, immediately begin to represent a stranger in front of them. But if not a migrant, then who? And experts have found a way out of a difficult terminological situation.
Now, instead of “internal migrants” in Russia, there will appear “MoGRs” - “mobile citizens of Russia”. Of course, this term is much more euphonic to define Russian citizens moving in Russia due to different circumstances. “Mogr” is, paraphrasing Comrade Gorky, sounds proudly ...
I was going to work on the territory of the neighboring region, be kind, get the status of "MoGR". Perhaps the Council will decide to issue such citizens, of which there are millions in the country, also a special crust in which such a melodic title will be indicated.
One of the initiators of the introduction of a new term into the Russian language was Aslambek Paskachev, head of the commission on interethnic relations. Apparently, Aslambek Boklyuevich himself is somehow affected by the noun term “migrant”, and therefore he decided to give birth to a more politically correct designation.
Well, if it comes to that, then a migrant who turns into a MoGR is also something ... Many Russians also have a negative reaction to other words. In this case, these terms can also be banned for use or altered. For example, there was a nationalist, and it would become “a citizen of Russia speaking out against some mobile citizens of Russia”; there was a "runaway convict", and will become a "mobile prisoner"; was Berezovsky, will become a "mobile oligarch" ...
Without a bottle you will not understand ...
Why Lithuania offended at the Old Man
At the beginning of the outgoing week, a serious diplomatic scandal erupted between Belarus and Lithuania. According to reports coming from Minsk, it turned out that unknown persons threw a bottle of “Molotov cocktail” at the Lithuanian embassy. As a result of the attack, none of the embassy’s employees was hurt, but despite this, Ambassador Linkiavičius was recalled to his native land. The representatives of the Belarusian law-enforcement agencies said that Vilnius was not impressed by all the guilty to be found and punished, and from there new portions of criticism poured in Lukashenka’s stifling democracy and other “totalitarian” manners of the current Belarusian president. In fact, such criticism does not dry out from there, which indirectly makes it clear why the bottle flew in the direction of the Lithuanian embassy building. In general, Lithuania has bucked ...
But would Alexander Grigoryevich be the first to respond to those states that can in no way be reconciled with the presence of the power in Belarus that does not suit them? The president said that if Lithuania cannot wait for the end of the investigation and demonstrates its Baltic character, then Belarus reserves the right to answer. The answer, according to Lukashenko, may be as follows: Belarus will simply abandon the use of Lithuanian seaports for delivering cargo inside the country, and will use the services of the ports of the Leningrad Region and directly from St. Petersburg. To complete the sensations, the Belarusian leader declared that Putin is in the know with both hands “for”.
If Belarus really decides to show such a fig to Lithuanians, then the treasury of the Baltic state may become scarce by about 2,3 billion dollars a year, and about 12 thousands of people in Lithuania will lose their jobs.
Apparently, now the Lithuanian side is considering how to get out of this slippery situation. After all, if you do not return the ambassador and continue to build yourself humiliated and offended, you can lose a lot of money, and if you return the ambassador, then you recognize the victory of Alexander Lukashenko. So they are puzzling ... And what about the business: you just had to throw a bank of Lithuanian pickles into the Belarusian embassy in response, and calm down.
And Ambassador Linkiavicius himself executes himself for having reported to the "center" about the bottle that had broken. He must be thinking like this: “I would sweep the broken glassware, rubbed the spilled contents with a rag, and would go on to receive representatives of the Belarusian opposition.” But then, if ambassadors from Belarus will be withdrawn at such a pace, then soon there will be no place for progressive oppositionists in Minsk to go ... So they are writing SMS: brothers, return the ambassador - to us without him the land ...
As the end of the first part of "Results"
Not to mention that during the week there was a series of large personnel changes in the Ministry of Defense. Well, suddenly someone else does not know ...
Instead of Anatoly Serdyukov, Sergei Shoigu was appointed minister. Instead of Nikolai Makarov, Valery Gerasimov took over the post of chief of the General Staff. Perhaps in recent years these changes can be called the loudest in the Russian government and proving that there are no irreplaceable officials.
Part II. "The sense of something came out, muddle remained!"
"The whole world is laughing at us."
Go to Washington!
November 6 presidential elections in the United States. America decided that the horses at the crossing did not change, and the honey brewer from Pennsylvania Avenue, 1600, remained at the helm of power. Many, including the great and terrible Canadian medium Robertson, predicted the victory of Mitt Romney, but Comrade Obama jumped into his multimillionaire at the finish line.
By the way, Mr. Romney should be offended. He and his staff did so much for victory! And how much Romney could do for the country, trust it to him. The Oval Office! No one doubts that the airplanes would have opened vents, in the temples of the Sikhs sheikhs would start, production would return from China to Detroit and Chicago, and 12.000.000 Americans would stand up to the machines and sit at the tables in the offices, Jerusalem would become the capital of Israel, and the geopolitical enemies of America — like Russia (enemy No. XXUMX), Syria, Iran, and at the same time China with the DPRK — would have been joined to the United States according to the plan of Dmitry Bykov (Russia): the Far East is a separate state, Siberia and Tatarstan are a couple more states . On a striped American flag - just a number of stars. And Kaliningrad unplanned can be presented to the Germans. So that the potential eurohegemon is not nervous. And the Finns promised to attack Russia at the end of October, but changed his mind - 1 square. km of arctic territory. Without oil, gas and gold, but with ice and one polar bear.
With such a plan, which promised, by the way, to the Pentagon, an increase in the budget by a third, and the US Navy with new ships, and lose? Truly, the people of America do not understand their happiness. With such a brave and wise president led by the Americans, the entire Galaxy could be held in fear.
Romney even wrote a speech only one - in case of victory. This weak-tempered Obama wrote two speeches, including in that unpleasant case, if the people of America consider that it’s time for the White House to change its owner.
Self-confident Romney on the eve of the election сказал reporters:
The entire progressive public of America, that is, about 2-3 of the percentage of the rich, sympathized with the loser Romney, and at the same time tore hair on his head and body, wishing thousands and millions of dollars were wasted on the election campaign of this Republican loser, who was bypassed by some ... sorry, African American.
Famous TV presenter Donald Trump call the election results "in total fraud and parody" and in his blog urged Americans to "go to Washington." Trump stated:
In another post, he put it more specifically:
Actually, what kind of revolution was Mr. Trump going to make in his native America? Is it not proletarian? But after all, the copyright on it in the United States belongs to the Free Socialist Party and personally to Stephen Durham, a Trotskyist, feminist and defender of sexual minority rights, in whose view the path to a brighter future looks like this: a revolutionary crowd of oppressed plumbers and housekeepers to storm the White House lead valiant ... gay.
No, Trump obviously meant the bourgeois revolution. Rather, non-bourgeois. The fact is that he is not only a TV presenter, but also a billionaire.
The aspirations of the advanced bourgeois to the modernization of society have already been supported: on Twitter, his “notes from the underground” were distributed in an circulation of several thousand copies. True, Obama in the same social network turned out to be much more popular: his quoted more than half a million users. There are many TV anchors in the United States, but the president is one, even if he is confused periodically with Osama bin Laden, who is not a member of the UN Security Council or a well-known human rights activist.
So, Romney, Trump and the Canadian medium are behind, and Obama can drink plenty of beer at the weekend. Drink, sober up - and then what? Wind of Change? Public rejection of the role of the world hegemon destroying the planet and declaring the national currency as candy wrappers?
Know, know.
It is naive to believe that after Obama's re-election in American society and even more so in American foreign policy, something will change. The US population in the very majority that voted for Obama’s electors will be extremely interested not in what Comrade Putin or Bashar Assad and especially Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said (they cannot say this), but for how much reinsured silicone ass Jennifer Lopez and did not accidentally showed mother Kim Kardashian left nipple.
The public debt in an advanced democratic country will continue to increase, and in parallel with its growth petrodollars will be printed, for which the Saudis and Qatari will pump their oil into the barrels, which will then be sent to credulous Europeoids. The Seventh Fleet of the US Navy will continue to consider the naval forces of the People’s Liberation Army of China as a potential adversary and plow through the waters where this enemy may accidentally meet — on some disputed islands with Japanese, Vietnamese or, God forbid, Brunei flags . Obama's finger after the January inauguration will, as before, tremble over the “Reset with Russia” button - or maybe above the “Reset of Russia” button, which, as evil tongues say, was invented by McFaul, and Obama was incorrectly explained. One can only hope that instead of rocket launchers on the lines of the European missile defense, kiosks with ice cream and stalls will be set up, in which ruddy aunts (and not painted pedophiles) will give out balloons to children for free ...
Harmonious choir
Cameron and K offered Bashar Assad to flee safely from Syria
Last week, the democratic world community in the face of its individual, the most reasonable, representatives tried once again to persuade the Syrian President to leave this very Syria away from sin. The fact is that Western politicians like David Cameron cannot comprehend why this comrade Asad is so stubbornly clinging to his people. After all, the president’s ordinary goal is not to protect the people, but to defend against the people. And it is much more convenient to defend against it somewhere in London than in Damascus. And what is the people in Syria? Everyone has already moved to Turkey and Jordan.
Deciding that earlier Assad hadn't explained all this well, Prime Minister Cameron again called on the Syrian president to be saved in Britain. For a public invitation, he chose the television channel Al Arabiya, which was recommended to him by special agents, indicating that he is the most authoritative in the Arab world.
British Prime handed through a popular channel that a safe exit from the country can be arranged for the Syrian President, and he, Cameron, is personally ready to take steps to ensure the Syrian leader is immune from prosecution.
The head of the press service of the US State Department Victoria Nuland appreciated Mr. Cameron’s initiative and performed a variation on her themes. Under her skillful conducting, the chamber choir from the states of the Middle East sang. The choir sang not in rhyme, but harmoniously. The song was performed in Arabic, but because Victoria Nuland had to translate it:
The famous US ambassador to Russia, Mr. Michael McFaul, also took part in the choral celebration. This solo sang an old song - about the Moscow refuge:
Moscow? Escape there from your own people? That is, to humiliate not only my native Syria, but also Russia - which did not retreat from its veto in the Security Council? Comrade Asad thought in Tolstoyan: “I can not be silent” and gave an interview to Russia Today TV channel. is he He pledged do not leave home under any circumstances:
It is necessary only for Assad to board the next flight to Europe, as Syria will instantly become the territory for the game "in the knives." The “rebels”, under the able guidance of the West, will divide it into buffer zones, and then split it into enclaves of Druze, Kurd, Sunni, and Orthodox. As for the Shiites, there is little left of them. Al-Qaida will take care of this. No, this is not the Libyan scenario: here they are thinking of arranging a second Yugoslavia.
But not on that attacked. If the West believes that the Syrian people can die without Assad, then Assad believes that any intruder will receive a tinsel from the living Syrian people.
One Briton and 68 Italians
On the new successes of Western medicine
While Mr. Cameron teaches Comrade Assad methods of geopolitical survival, another British Mr. Ian Paterson has celebrated the 20 anniversary of his surgical activity.
It became known from the police report that this doctor, having changed several clinics in his career, laid hundreds and hundreds of women on the surgical table. With diagnoses, Paterson did not hesitate, and with approaches to treatment, too. A surgeon, you know, is not the same thing as a herbalist or therapist. His job is to wield a scalpel.
He wielded.
To the patients who came to him at the reception, he without any hesitation made a diagnosis: cancer. And then cut off the chest. A kind doctor with a mastectomy has treated a thousand women with benign tumors.
One cut, Gail Bojchat, recalls:
Along the way, a British doctor hunted by postscript. Here it was not the patients who complained about him, but colleagues. Who, if not they, understood that the surgeon is not interested in the effect of operations, but their number? Paterson did not only care about accelerated diagnosis and urgent operations. Investigators surethat in his reports he indicated fictitious operations, regularly receiving for them pounds sterling from the Ministry of Health.
The doctor turned out to be a very persistent subject. Five years ago, the medical association forbade him to perform operations, leaving only a physical examination within his competence. But the surgeon continued to cut, cut, cut ...
In addition to the usual removal of "cancer", he approached the case and creatively. Some seriously ill patients he operated on by some own method. The experimental doctor did not have any corresponding certificates. And after the surgery, so that the life of the raspberry does not seem to be sick, Mr. Paterson finished off with chemotherapy.
Looking at the successes of the energetic British with experience, other representatives of European medicine, hailing from sunny Italy, so as not to envy, have also begun experiments on weak human flesh.
Friday the Italian police arrested nine cardiologists. This medical gang was accused of a whole series of crimes: illegal experiments on patients, organizations of the criminal community, corruption, embezzlement of property, and finally, deception of representatives of the national health system. At the same time, a dozen medical equipment supplier firms were barred from collaborating with the national health system representative. The investigation suggests that these companies have been trading with the help of enterprising cardiologists.
It all started with the fact that four strange deaths occurred in the clinic of Modena, twelve cases of serious complications after treatment and eleven unsuccessful cardiac stenting. By the way, a police operation was called "Dirty robes."
Italian doctors were also seriously interested in medicine - and they were ready to give it to her.own the lives of patients. The guys from Modena, armed with scalpels, used “their own methods”, as did the British surgeon, while at the same time not disdaining such usual medical business as money laundering through insurance companies. Laundered was a whole million dollars. The role of suppliers of medical equipment was that, thanks to the persistence of advanced doctors, the clinic bought low-quality equipment. It would be useful to indicate that it was the experimenters who used to repair the hearts of unfortunate patients.
If it seems to you that nine people are rather weak for a criminal network, then keep in mind that 9 is the number of those arrested. Total case passes 68 doctors.
Unhappy Breivik
Tragic story about cold coffee and uncomfortable handle
In the Norwegian prison Ila infringed upon the rights, and at the same time the freedoms of the fighter against multiculturalism Breivik.
And really, there is something to marvel at. In Norway, a humane European country in which a terrorist was not planted for seven to eight life sentences plus seven hundred years on the basis of minor offenses, as they would have done in the US, the unfortunate convict was suddenly treated like the last type of person.
First, him began to file not hot enough (it can be said, cold) coffee: here and catch a short time. Especially in the cell. Three-room, by the way: with a bedroom, gym and office.
Secondly, from the stationery accessories he was allocated not a firm "Parker", but some kind of rubber handle. It turned out that she rubs Breivik’s fingers, which can lead to arthritis. Write an autobiography and at the same time think about arthritis? No writer will not make it.
Third, other prisoners who are in prison sometimes interfere with Breivik’s noise.
Fourthly, the terrorist demands a humidifier in his apartment.
Fifthly, he believes that he is given a little butter for breakfast.
Sixth, he does not like the view from the window.
Also in the complaint to the leadership of the Federal Penitentiary Service of Norway complained on too tight handcuffs and summarized:
Breivik's complaint is written by the mentioned rubber pen and takes up 27 pages.
Rather, he will develop arthritis from writing complaints, rather than writing an autobiography.
By the way, the Norwegian society could show a little gratitude to their hero. After all, he is not just a jewelry store robbed or tapped an old moneymaker with a hatchet. He killed 77 people, than forever glorified homeland. Now, when playing with word associations, after the word “Norway”, any Australian or Zulu, glittering with white teeth and forgetting Grieg and Hamsun, immediately says in reply: “Breivik!”
And for this, the national hero is drunk with cold coffee, he slips a trimmed ration of butter on him and cannot pick up a room with a sea view?
Used Planet
Goods are non-refundable.
The economic crisis is rampant throughout the world. In order to survive the difficult times, one smart Japanese decided to put this very globe ... under the hammer. He registered at the Yahoo auction, described the product thoroughly and without errors, and set the starting price for it in 69 yen. After spread news selling online Price rose to 123 million dollars.
Once God commanded J. Bush Jr. (according to the latter) to seize Iraq. But the seizure, and even one country - and small, and quite troublesome. In addition, it can break. The Japanese turned out to be smarter than Bush, but he also gave a reference to God. He described his “product” as follows:
The seller of the planet Earth indicated that the goods are “authentic” and “second-hand”. Return it is not subject.
Japanese warnsthat bids must be accompanied by a message expressing serious intentions to acquire the planet, otherwise the bid will be considered a rally, and too many draws will lead to the closing of the auction.
Today on 123 million dollars somewhere in New York you can buy only something 12,3 million boxes of matches. A similar price for a planet is extremely low, and any member of the Bilderberg club can buy Earth with almost the same ease as a Cuban cigar. The severity of the intentions of this gentleman is unlikely to prove.
But not everything is so simple: one Chinese, previously seen with the national flag on Senkaku, has already declared the Earth a disputed territory and is now threatening to appeal to the UN. It turns out that it was him, and not the Japanese from “Yahoo”, that God presented the planet - and not only one, but the entire solar system ...
* “Saw, Shura, Saw!” - a phrase from the movie “Golden Calf”.
The last order of the Minister
How paintings and diamonds are brought to hospital bed
Do you know, dear readers, about the last order of Anatoly Serdyukov in his former defense position? No, he did not deprive himself of his pension and did not even send himself to a monastery in connection with a corruption scandal. The last order of the Minister reads: dismiss all deputies, including the so-called “ministry of defense harem”, who for many years faithfully served the Fatherland ...
Women, anticipating something amiss, probably yelled: who are you ... ..., Anatoliy-light Eduardovich ... But Anatoly Eduardovich was no longer with them with his thoughts. He collected all his orders and medals, erased photographs of blond and light department heads from the ministerial computer’s hard drive, glanced at the portrait of the Chief on the wall, put a big sharp button on the ministerial chair and, holding the leather briefcase under his arm, departed in a poorly known direction.
After that, among the ladies who once had a relationship with the Ministry of Defense, a commotion began. Some tried to push 56 genuine canvases by famous Russian artists under the bed. Others handed out diamond rings to all their relatives down to the second cousins of the nephews' godfathers. The third kindled fireplaces in their multi-storey mansions with “honestly earned” bills.
Some who could not stand the thin female nerves, but because some people had to go to the hospital with an unexpectedly serious diagnosis, which does not even allow the patient to talk with the investigators. Either my throat was dry, or my tongue began to turn badly ... It could, of course, be shown on my fingers, but Mrs. E. Vasilyeva has not enough fingers and toes to demonstrate the amount of money that comes from the treasury. to put it mildly, moving in the wrong direction.
Today, many are discussing, and what, in fact, did numerous paintings of Russian painters in the apartment of Mrs. Vasilyeva, who is considered one of the main figures in the case of Rosoboronservice? After all, the paintings seem to be attributed to Russian museums ... The answer to this question is ridiculously simple: it turns out there is some paper according to which the paintings needed to be provided with “better storage conditions” by transferring them to the Ministry of Defense. Apparently, the most reliable place in the main military department of the country was precisely the apartment of Mrs. Vasilyeva, where Shishkin, Aivazovsky, Repin, Levitan and other representatives of Russian art school “arrived”.
What is surprising is how it is in the apartments of the “sisters by arms"Mr. Serdyukov did not reveal the royal thrones and dark-skinned slaves with fans and loincloths ... Although the result is in full swing, so anything can open ...
And let GLONASS wait ...
Six and a half billion stolen from RKS State Corporation
"On the thief and the cap is on." For a long time, this expression was tried to be verified by the officers of the investigative bodies of Russia in relation to the state corporation Russian Space Systems. For about three years, operational officers, let's say, watched what kind of perturbations are carried out within the framework of the state corporation, which was also responsible for the implementation of the GLONASS project. And now, three years later, the caps began to burn. Why are there to burn - blaze began on the heads of the most responsible comrades. Why did it take three years to bring the “skeet specialists” to clear water? Well, here everything is consistent with another proverb, which tells how we harness a long time, but then we go fast.
During the investigation, it turned out that instead of using funds to develop the satellite constellation in orbit, as well as to create high-quality software necessary for processing the information coming from the satellites, the RCC specialists decided to use the funds allocated from the budget a little differently. “Experienced” employees decided that the Russians could still have ... so to wait for the introduction of the GLONASS system and use the American GPS, and therefore it is better to replenish their private budgets with the help of public funds. To do this, according to a scheme that has been tested over the years, several dummy firms were created that turned over hundreds of millions of rubles, having a staff at best in the state. For the time being, for mysterious reasons, the satellites continued to plow the expanses of the Pacific Ocean after the traditional accidents, the taxpayers' money was stuffed with wallets and generously replenished the accounts of the staff of the above-mentioned state corporation.
Investigators revealed the theft of as much as 6,5 a billion rubles in OJSC RKS, but the press service of the state corporation represented by Mr. Zubakhin said that the data provided by the investigators was nonsense ... Apparently, the press secretary of the Russian Space Systems was behind the money the mountain, which the specialists from the state corporation had managed to get, began to forget that in front of the strict officials of the investigative bodies it’s not worth making a fuss. As a result, it was necessary, as always, to interfere with the Kremlin. From there, Mr. Zubakhin was told that he, and with him the whole department, in which the press secretary deigns to work, did not doubt the work of the investigators and be more careful with the statements ...
To alleviate the situation, another staff member of the department made a speech, who assured everyone that the theft did not, you see, affect the implementation of the plans for the implementation of the GLONASS system. 6 with a half billion - bye-bye, the satellite constellation can not be brought into a decent form, but "it didn’t reflect in any way." And we certainly believe him ...
Steal can not be kept
The APEC Summit minus 93,3 million = don't wait for me, mother ...
Yeah ... A rich week has stood out to expose the socialist plunderers ... uh, sorry, state ownership. One gets the impression that in our country, ministries and departments often organize such social competitions in the spirit of “Who will turn someone?” The Defense Ministry: 3 + 1 (?) Billion rubles, “Russian space systems” - 6,5 billion rubles. Decided to make their "modest" contribution to this "march of billions" and officials from the Ministry of Regional Development. True, here up to billions were not reached, having noted the sum “only” in 93,3 of a million rubles ...
The “modest” who did not reach the level of embezzlement from the state budget to the “average” in the departments was the former deputy head of the Ministry of Regional Development Roman Panov. Today, Mr. Panov is the head of the government of the Perm region. The region is not poor, which means that this is for the official who has already managed to taste the sweet fruits of the point withdrawal of funds from the budget.
The investigating authorities suspect the ex-regional that he and several other people decided to assign tens of millions of rubles, which were intended to prepare for the APEC summit in Vladivostok. The principle of appropriation was a classic for modern bureaucrats: competitions were held aimed at concluding government contracts with enterprises, and according to the results of these competitions, in any case, they won "the necessary desks". Through the "winners" in competitions, organizations and pumped multimillion-dollar funds, pleasing the rustling of officials of various ranks. The rustle of notes so clouded the eyes of these people that corruption schemes scrolled over and over again. No - here, of course, it did without Aivazovsky, but the ninth wave rose anyway ...
Surprisingly, no one has yet come out from the Ministry of Regional Development and did not say that the abduction of funds had no effect on the preparation of the summit in Vladivostok ... That the newly built highways in the Far East crawled and collapsed after the first rain by themselves, that 90 millions more, 90 millions less ...
And no one also called a delirium against Mr. Panov. Apparently, the lesson of Mr. Zubakhin from RCS did not pass without a trace, otherwise they will have to go to the hospital, like Mrs. Vasilyeva, because of the acute attack of inability to testify ...
The Council "liquidates" migrants
Who is MOGR and how is it better than an internal migrant?
This week I decided to show off with my political activity the Presidential Council on Interethnic Relations. Recall that this structure was created on the initiative of Vladimir Putin in June 2012.
So, the Council staff decided to pay attention to the problem of internal migration. Well, how to draw ... Rename! After all, the renamed problem in our country is a problem solved.
According to experts, in Russia it is urgently necessary to prohibit the use of such a term as “internal migrant”, because the phrase itself allegedly offends the honor and dignity of a person who has moved from one region of the Russian Federation to another in order to find work. In what exactly the insult is expressed, the employees of the AEIA did not explain, saying only that our people, as soon as they heard the word “migrant”, immediately begin to represent a stranger in front of them. But if not a migrant, then who? And experts have found a way out of a difficult terminological situation.
Now, instead of “internal migrants” in Russia, there will appear “MoGRs” - “mobile citizens of Russia”. Of course, this term is much more euphonic to define Russian citizens moving in Russia due to different circumstances. “Mogr” is, paraphrasing Comrade Gorky, sounds proudly ...
I was going to work on the territory of the neighboring region, be kind, get the status of "MoGR". Perhaps the Council will decide to issue such citizens, of which there are millions in the country, also a special crust in which such a melodic title will be indicated.
One of the initiators of the introduction of a new term into the Russian language was Aslambek Paskachev, head of the commission on interethnic relations. Apparently, Aslambek Boklyuevich himself is somehow affected by the noun term “migrant”, and therefore he decided to give birth to a more politically correct designation.
Well, if it comes to that, then a migrant who turns into a MoGR is also something ... Many Russians also have a negative reaction to other words. In this case, these terms can also be banned for use or altered. For example, there was a nationalist, and it would become “a citizen of Russia speaking out against some mobile citizens of Russia”; there was a "runaway convict", and will become a "mobile prisoner"; was Berezovsky, will become a "mobile oligarch" ...
Without a bottle you will not understand ...
Why Lithuania offended at the Old Man
At the beginning of the outgoing week, a serious diplomatic scandal erupted between Belarus and Lithuania. According to reports coming from Minsk, it turned out that unknown persons threw a bottle of “Molotov cocktail” at the Lithuanian embassy. As a result of the attack, none of the embassy’s employees was hurt, but despite this, Ambassador Linkiavičius was recalled to his native land. The representatives of the Belarusian law-enforcement agencies said that Vilnius was not impressed by all the guilty to be found and punished, and from there new portions of criticism poured in Lukashenka’s stifling democracy and other “totalitarian” manners of the current Belarusian president. In fact, such criticism does not dry out from there, which indirectly makes it clear why the bottle flew in the direction of the Lithuanian embassy building. In general, Lithuania has bucked ...
But would Alexander Grigoryevich be the first to respond to those states that can in no way be reconciled with the presence of the power in Belarus that does not suit them? The president said that if Lithuania cannot wait for the end of the investigation and demonstrates its Baltic character, then Belarus reserves the right to answer. The answer, according to Lukashenko, may be as follows: Belarus will simply abandon the use of Lithuanian seaports for delivering cargo inside the country, and will use the services of the ports of the Leningrad Region and directly from St. Petersburg. To complete the sensations, the Belarusian leader declared that Putin is in the know with both hands “for”.
If Belarus really decides to show such a fig to Lithuanians, then the treasury of the Baltic state may become scarce by about 2,3 billion dollars a year, and about 12 thousands of people in Lithuania will lose their jobs.
Apparently, now the Lithuanian side is considering how to get out of this slippery situation. After all, if you do not return the ambassador and continue to build yourself humiliated and offended, you can lose a lot of money, and if you return the ambassador, then you recognize the victory of Alexander Lukashenko. So they are puzzling ... And what about the business: you just had to throw a bank of Lithuanian pickles into the Belarusian embassy in response, and calm down.
And Ambassador Linkiavicius himself executes himself for having reported to the "center" about the bottle that had broken. He must be thinking like this: “I would sweep the broken glassware, rubbed the spilled contents with a rag, and would go on to receive representatives of the Belarusian opposition.” But then, if ambassadors from Belarus will be withdrawn at such a pace, then soon there will be no place for progressive oppositionists in Minsk to go ... So they are writing SMS: brothers, return the ambassador - to us without him the land ...
As the end of the first part of "Results"
Not to mention that during the week there was a series of large personnel changes in the Ministry of Defense. Well, suddenly someone else does not know ...
Instead of Anatoly Serdyukov, Sergei Shoigu was appointed minister. Instead of Nikolai Makarov, Valery Gerasimov took over the post of chief of the General Staff. Perhaps in recent years these changes can be called the loudest in the Russian government and proving that there are no irreplaceable officials.
Part II. "The sense of something came out, muddle remained!"
"The whole world is laughing at us."
Go to Washington!
November 6 presidential elections in the United States. America decided that the horses at the crossing did not change, and the honey brewer from Pennsylvania Avenue, 1600, remained at the helm of power. Many, including the great and terrible Canadian medium Robertson, predicted the victory of Mitt Romney, but Comrade Obama jumped into his multimillionaire at the finish line.
By the way, Mr. Romney should be offended. He and his staff did so much for victory! And how much Romney could do for the country, trust it to him. The Oval Office! No one doubts that the airplanes would have opened vents, in the temples of the Sikhs sheikhs would start, production would return from China to Detroit and Chicago, and 12.000.000 Americans would stand up to the machines and sit at the tables in the offices, Jerusalem would become the capital of Israel, and the geopolitical enemies of America — like Russia (enemy No. XXUMX), Syria, Iran, and at the same time China with the DPRK — would have been joined to the United States according to the plan of Dmitry Bykov (Russia): the Far East is a separate state, Siberia and Tatarstan are a couple more states . On a striped American flag - just a number of stars. And Kaliningrad unplanned can be presented to the Germans. So that the potential eurohegemon is not nervous. And the Finns promised to attack Russia at the end of October, but changed his mind - 1 square. km of arctic territory. Without oil, gas and gold, but with ice and one polar bear.
With such a plan, which promised, by the way, to the Pentagon, an increase in the budget by a third, and the US Navy with new ships, and lose? Truly, the people of America do not understand their happiness. With such a brave and wise president led by the Americans, the entire Galaxy could be held in fear.
Romney even wrote a speech only one - in case of victory. This weak-tempered Obama wrote two speeches, including in that unpleasant case, if the people of America consider that it’s time for the White House to change its owner.
Self-confident Romney on the eve of the election сказал reporters:
“I feel that we did everything we could. We used all the resources. We fought to the end and, I think, therefore in the end we will have success. ”
The entire progressive public of America, that is, about 2-3 of the percentage of the rich, sympathized with the loser Romney, and at the same time tore hair on his head and body, wishing thousands and millions of dollars were wasted on the election campaign of this Republican loser, who was bypassed by some ... sorry, African American.
Famous TV presenter Donald Trump call the election results "in total fraud and parody" and in his blog urged Americans to "go to Washington." Trump stated:
“We must fight with all our strength and end this great and terrible injustice! The whole world is laughing at us ... We can't let that happen. We have to go to Washington and stop this comedy. Our nation is divided! ”
In another post, he put it more specifically:
"We must make a revolution in this country."
Actually, what kind of revolution was Mr. Trump going to make in his native America? Is it not proletarian? But after all, the copyright on it in the United States belongs to the Free Socialist Party and personally to Stephen Durham, a Trotskyist, feminist and defender of sexual minority rights, in whose view the path to a brighter future looks like this: a revolutionary crowd of oppressed plumbers and housekeepers to storm the White House lead valiant ... gay.
No, Trump obviously meant the bourgeois revolution. Rather, non-bourgeois. The fact is that he is not only a TV presenter, but also a billionaire.
The aspirations of the advanced bourgeois to the modernization of society have already been supported: on Twitter, his “notes from the underground” were distributed in an circulation of several thousand copies. True, Obama in the same social network turned out to be much more popular: his quoted more than half a million users. There are many TV anchors in the United States, but the president is one, even if he is confused periodically with Osama bin Laden, who is not a member of the UN Security Council or a well-known human rights activist.
So, Romney, Trump and the Canadian medium are behind, and Obama can drink plenty of beer at the weekend. Drink, sober up - and then what? Wind of Change? Public rejection of the role of the world hegemon destroying the planet and declaring the national currency as candy wrappers?
Know, know.
It is naive to believe that after Obama's re-election in American society and even more so in American foreign policy, something will change. The US population in the very majority that voted for Obama’s electors will be extremely interested not in what Comrade Putin or Bashar Assad and especially Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said (they cannot say this), but for how much reinsured silicone ass Jennifer Lopez and did not accidentally showed mother Kim Kardashian left nipple.
The public debt in an advanced democratic country will continue to increase, and in parallel with its growth petrodollars will be printed, for which the Saudis and Qatari will pump their oil into the barrels, which will then be sent to credulous Europeoids. The Seventh Fleet of the US Navy will continue to consider the naval forces of the People’s Liberation Army of China as a potential adversary and plow through the waters where this enemy may accidentally meet — on some disputed islands with Japanese, Vietnamese or, God forbid, Brunei flags . Obama's finger after the January inauguration will, as before, tremble over the “Reset with Russia” button - or maybe above the “Reset of Russia” button, which, as evil tongues say, was invented by McFaul, and Obama was incorrectly explained. One can only hope that instead of rocket launchers on the lines of the European missile defense, kiosks with ice cream and stalls will be set up, in which ruddy aunts (and not painted pedophiles) will give out balloons to children for free ...
Harmonious choir
Cameron and K offered Bashar Assad to flee safely from Syria
Last week, the democratic world community in the face of its individual, the most reasonable, representatives tried once again to persuade the Syrian President to leave this very Syria away from sin. The fact is that Western politicians like David Cameron cannot comprehend why this comrade Asad is so stubbornly clinging to his people. After all, the president’s ordinary goal is not to protect the people, but to defend against the people. And it is much more convenient to defend against it somewhere in London than in Damascus. And what is the people in Syria? Everyone has already moved to Turkey and Jordan.
Deciding that earlier Assad hadn't explained all this well, Prime Minister Cameron again called on the Syrian president to be saved in Britain. For a public invitation, he chose the television channel Al Arabiya, which was recommended to him by special agents, indicating that he is the most authoritative in the Arab world.
British Prime handed through a popular channel that a safe exit from the country can be arranged for the Syrian President, and he, Cameron, is personally ready to take steps to ensure the Syrian leader is immune from prosecution.
The head of the press service of the US State Department Victoria Nuland appreciated Mr. Cameron’s initiative and performed a variation on her themes. Under her skillful conducting, the chamber choir from the states of the Middle East sang. The choir sang not in rhyme, but harmoniously. The song was performed in Arabic, but because Victoria Nuland had to translate it:
“... a number of countries, primarily in the region, offer to take Assad and his family if he decides to leave Syria ... The understanding is that some states have clearly conveyed to the Syrian President’s readiness to accept him ...”
The famous US ambassador to Russia, Mr. Michael McFaul, also took part in the choral celebration. This solo sang an old song - about the Moscow refuge:
“Assad must go. We hope that Russia can help ensure its security, since your relations are closer, I don’t want to say that you are allies, but the Russian Federation has more influence on the government and the system of Syria. ”
Moscow? Escape there from your own people? That is, to humiliate not only my native Syria, but also Russia - which did not retreat from its veto in the Security Council? Comrade Asad thought in Tolstoyan: “I can not be silent” and gave an interview to Russia Today TV channel. is he He pledged do not leave home under any circumstances:
"I am a Syrian, I was born in Syria, I must live in Syria and die here."
It is necessary only for Assad to board the next flight to Europe, as Syria will instantly become the territory for the game "in the knives." The “rebels”, under the able guidance of the West, will divide it into buffer zones, and then split it into enclaves of Druze, Kurd, Sunni, and Orthodox. As for the Shiites, there is little left of them. Al-Qaida will take care of this. No, this is not the Libyan scenario: here they are thinking of arranging a second Yugoslavia.
But not on that attacked. If the West believes that the Syrian people can die without Assad, then Assad believes that any intruder will receive a tinsel from the living Syrian people.
One Briton and 68 Italians
On the new successes of Western medicine
While Mr. Cameron teaches Comrade Assad methods of geopolitical survival, another British Mr. Ian Paterson has celebrated the 20 anniversary of his surgical activity.
It became known from the police report that this doctor, having changed several clinics in his career, laid hundreds and hundreds of women on the surgical table. With diagnoses, Paterson did not hesitate, and with approaches to treatment, too. A surgeon, you know, is not the same thing as a herbalist or therapist. His job is to wield a scalpel.
He wielded.
To the patients who came to him at the reception, he without any hesitation made a diagnosis: cancer. And then cut off the chest. A kind doctor with a mastectomy has treated a thousand women with benign tumors.
One cut, Gail Bojchat, recalls:
“I remember that I entered the office, the doctor examined me, my husband was sitting nearby. And I saw the doctor nodding to her husband, then he said to me: “Sit down, I have to tell you something even more terrible than you think. You never had cancer. ”
Along the way, a British doctor hunted by postscript. Here it was not the patients who complained about him, but colleagues. Who, if not they, understood that the surgeon is not interested in the effect of operations, but their number? Paterson did not only care about accelerated diagnosis and urgent operations. Investigators surethat in his reports he indicated fictitious operations, regularly receiving for them pounds sterling from the Ministry of Health.
The doctor turned out to be a very persistent subject. Five years ago, the medical association forbade him to perform operations, leaving only a physical examination within his competence. But the surgeon continued to cut, cut, cut ...
In addition to the usual removal of "cancer", he approached the case and creatively. Some seriously ill patients he operated on by some own method. The experimental doctor did not have any corresponding certificates. And after the surgery, so that the life of the raspberry does not seem to be sick, Mr. Paterson finished off with chemotherapy.
Looking at the successes of the energetic British with experience, other representatives of European medicine, hailing from sunny Italy, so as not to envy, have also begun experiments on weak human flesh.
Friday the Italian police arrested nine cardiologists. This medical gang was accused of a whole series of crimes: illegal experiments on patients, organizations of the criminal community, corruption, embezzlement of property, and finally, deception of representatives of the national health system. At the same time, a dozen medical equipment supplier firms were barred from collaborating with the national health system representative. The investigation suggests that these companies have been trading with the help of enterprising cardiologists.
It all started with the fact that four strange deaths occurred in the clinic of Modena, twelve cases of serious complications after treatment and eleven unsuccessful cardiac stenting. By the way, a police operation was called "Dirty robes."
Italian doctors were also seriously interested in medicine - and they were ready to give it to her.
If it seems to you that nine people are rather weak for a criminal network, then keep in mind that 9 is the number of those arrested. Total case passes 68 doctors.
Unhappy Breivik
Tragic story about cold coffee and uncomfortable handle
In the Norwegian prison Ila infringed upon the rights, and at the same time the freedoms of the fighter against multiculturalism Breivik.
And really, there is something to marvel at. In Norway, a humane European country in which a terrorist was not planted for seven to eight life sentences plus seven hundred years on the basis of minor offenses, as they would have done in the US, the unfortunate convict was suddenly treated like the last type of person.
First, him began to file not hot enough (it can be said, cold) coffee: here and catch a short time. Especially in the cell. Three-room, by the way: with a bedroom, gym and office.
Secondly, from the stationery accessories he was allocated not a firm "Parker", but some kind of rubber handle. It turned out that she rubs Breivik’s fingers, which can lead to arthritis. Write an autobiography and at the same time think about arthritis? No writer will not make it.
Third, other prisoners who are in prison sometimes interfere with Breivik’s noise.
Fourthly, the terrorist demands a humidifier in his apartment.
Fifthly, he believes that he is given a little butter for breakfast.
Sixth, he does not like the view from the window.
Also in the complaint to the leadership of the Federal Penitentiary Service of Norway complained on too tight handcuffs and summarized:
“I strongly doubt that somewhere in Norway there are places of detention, in which conditions of detention are even worse.”
Breivik's complaint is written by the mentioned rubber pen and takes up 27 pages.
Rather, he will develop arthritis from writing complaints, rather than writing an autobiography.
By the way, the Norwegian society could show a little gratitude to their hero. After all, he is not just a jewelry store robbed or tapped an old moneymaker with a hatchet. He killed 77 people, than forever glorified homeland. Now, when playing with word associations, after the word “Norway”, any Australian or Zulu, glittering with white teeth and forgetting Grieg and Hamsun, immediately says in reply: “Breivik!”
And for this, the national hero is drunk with cold coffee, he slips a trimmed ration of butter on him and cannot pick up a room with a sea view?
Used Planet
Goods are non-refundable.
The economic crisis is rampant throughout the world. In order to survive the difficult times, one smart Japanese decided to put this very globe ... under the hammer. He registered at the Yahoo auction, described the product thoroughly and without errors, and set the starting price for it in 69 yen. After spread news selling online Price rose to 123 million dollars.
Once God commanded J. Bush Jr. (according to the latter) to seize Iraq. But the seizure, and even one country - and small, and quite troublesome. In addition, it can break. The Japanese turned out to be smarter than Bush, but he also gave a reference to God. He described his “product” as follows:
"The earth was sent down to the seller by a god who appeared to him in a dream."
The seller of the planet Earth indicated that the goods are “authentic” and “second-hand”. Return it is not subject.
Japanese warnsthat bids must be accompanied by a message expressing serious intentions to acquire the planet, otherwise the bid will be considered a rally, and too many draws will lead to the closing of the auction.
Today on 123 million dollars somewhere in New York you can buy only something 12,3 million boxes of matches. A similar price for a planet is extremely low, and any member of the Bilderberg club can buy Earth with almost the same ease as a Cuban cigar. The severity of the intentions of this gentleman is unlikely to prove.
But not everything is so simple: one Chinese, previously seen with the national flag on Senkaku, has already declared the Earth a disputed territory and is now threatening to appeal to the UN. It turns out that it was him, and not the Japanese from “Yahoo”, that God presented the planet - and not only one, but the entire solar system ...
* “Saw, Shura, Saw!” - a phrase from the movie “Golden Calf”.
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