Results of the week. Tsigel, tsigel, comrades! Ay-liu-liu
Part I. They only dream of peace
McFaul does not reboot. Remove the task?
But perhaps our long-time good old acquaintance, a man surrounded by “wild” people, the American ambassador Michael McFaul, has not shown himself. The other day, he spoke at the Higher School of Economics, where, in a favorite unctuous and withering manner, he conveyed to the audience his whole vision of the situation in Russia and its relations with the United States. He started the ambassador, according to the canons adopted in the Carnegie psychology textbooks, for health. For health, according to Michael McFaul, this is a couple of on-duty phrases about “control-alt-delite,” that is, the continuation of the reboot. They say that the people of the United States hope that Mr Putin ..., that democratic norms ... that the reboot will continue ... Well, in general, everything is in the usual easily predictable style. Next, McFaul, having decided that the "gingerbread" "savages" got the full program, moved, as they say to water procedures, and poured their "boiling water" on the crowd ...
The first thing that the American ambassador decided to say in this regard is that Russia allegedly wants to achieve a positive outcome everywhere with the help of bribes. It remains for certain unknown why Mr. McFaul decided to speak about bribes during his “lecture”. Maybe recently he had the good fortune to talk with the Moscow traffic police inspectors or tried to get a visit to the therapist in the district clinic ...
McFaul remembered for some reason 2009 the year and the Kyrgyz president Bakiyev, who, they say, the Kremlin promised billions of dollars in bribes to get rid of the American base in Manas, the center of transit traffic. The ambassador cannot understand this in any way: they say, why should Russia get rid of foreign military bases, because these bases do not carry any threat to it. Like, why is Russia trying to “buy” the loyalty of foreign leaders to advance their interests. The United States, hell, they never allowed themselves to do this ... The American administration, as the main American God sees it (the multi-million dollar public debt), never went to using budget money to search for loyalty. True, the United States has another mechanism for how to find this loyalty, besides using the printing press, this is also the main means of persuasion - Tomahawks and heavy bombers.
Further, McFaul, as is now fashionable to say, gave "legal" guarantees that the State Department does not finance the Russian opposition in general and Alexei Navalny in particular. One would like to get from McFaul, several greater guarantees than the usual verbal legal (in the American case, this is probably the same thing), launched in the wind. There is such an option - as in some time in the Soviet courts, ask: "Do you give a tooth?"
The ambassador said that he financed exclusively civil society organizations. It turns out that the Russian opposition, which indirectly confirms McFaul himself, has nothing to do with civil society. Those are on! .. It seems that Mr. Ambassador did not understand what he said, and thus he strung himself on a big double hook: if the State Department does not finance the opposition, then the opposition in Russia is not a civil-public berry, but if after all that berry field, it turns out that the State Department also finances it. Such a philosophical incident from the head of the American embassy in Moscow. Well, what can I say - with us, "savages", and not such a flash ...
"Black Magic" office of the Minister of Education, or Fursenko - 2
No sooner had the Russians waved blue handkerchiefs following Andrei Fursenko who left his chair in the Government, as it seems that this very chair was occupied by Fursenko-2 - Dmitry Livanov. And after all, this should be the case: this newest Minister of Education of the Russian Federation didn’t have time to sit in Mr. Fursenko’s chair when words came from his (new minister) mouth, from which many began to wipe their eyes and glasses better - wasn’t it Andrei Aleksandrovich again returned to his office. No, it seems - the face is different, but what then does the new minister say? And he says the following. In his opinion, it is urgent to halve the number of budget places in universities and begin to switch to total paid higher education ... They say that as soon as higher education becomes paid, this is how it goes with us! It will be possible to take loans, for which the alleged employer will then pay off ... Well, what kind of employer is there in Russia, sorry, will it be in our reality for young professionals to pay? No, maybe, of course ... Only if it comes from the wages of this very young specialist.
Now let's estimate the financial side of the issue.
So, Mr. Livanov says that it is necessary to raise the price of education for one student from 60000 rubles per year to 250000 (in his opinion, this will affect the effectiveness of the education itself). Multiplying 250000 by 5 years of study and we find that an applicant, in order to enter a university, must take at least 1250000 rubles in a bank. With the interest that banks put up today, a young man (if he takes this loan for 5 years, and payments start from the moment they start work) will have to pay 25000 (!) Rubles at least monthly. If we take into account that the average wage in most Russian regions is less than the amount received in the calculations, it is difficult to imagine how a young man (oh, no, sorry - the employer) will pay with his loan ...
However, this is not the only reef of the idea of the new Minister of Education. Imagine that the university barely finishes terry troechnik, which somehow put his terry triples in the diploma. Such a person comes, for example, to production, and the same employer understands that a graduate is generally incompetent, and you have to pay some bills for him ... And you can’t be fired, and you’ll keep it more expensive. In-oh-oh-oh ... In the end, this person may, after working for a couple of months, will want to quit (yes, at least for family reasons), and the employer must pay for it anyway ... Or then the credit history outweigh another employer? In general, Dmitry Livanov made a riddle, and such a riddle that there are much more unknowns in it than the initial data.
Yeah, the chair of Andrei Fursenko has clearly magical power, and here it smacks of some sort of blatant black magic. Maybe the chair is just black skinned? .. Then you need a new minister to suggest the idea: let it change the color of the chair - maybe lighter thoughts will appear ...
Marsh moves to Rustaveli
Happy Sunday is waiting for the current President of Georgia, Mikhail Saakashvili. The Georgian opposition, led by its leader Bidzina Ivanishvili, decided to present a surprise to the president in the form of a many thousands protest action, which is to take place on the streets of Tbilisi on a weekend day. Apparently, the opposition realizes that Saakashvili has not had major upheavals lately, and Mikhail Nikolozovich has calmed down to a large extent. Now, the opposition coalition intends to demonstrate to Saakashvili that in the next election he and his political force can expect a grandiose fiasco.
Only Saakashvili heard about 75 thousands of people who can dam Rustaveli Avenue, as he also decided to strike back. And what kind of blow can the main champion of democracy in the Caucasus deliver? Well, of course, accuse the opposition of ties with Russia. As soon as Ivanishvili spoke about the fact that his “Georgian Dream” party, along with other partners in a broad coalition, could “take over” the parliament in the elections, so Mikhail Saakashvili set about his deadly weapon. Look, people: Ivanishvili has financial ties with Moscow! - cried the current Georgian authorities. - And this means that Ivanishvili is a protege of the Kremlin. Well, in general, classical oratory, stigmatizing all the enemies of the Georgian president.
However, Ivanishvili was far from being sewn. He took and sold all his assets to Moscow in order to concentrate entirely on the election campaign. Like, look, good people - nothing binds me to this northern country, which “occupies” our lands. Of course, for Ivanishvili, the issue of “occupation” is acute and not worth it, but in modern Georgian realities, which Mr. Saakashvili has embroidered with his red crosses, you want the issue of “occupation” - you don’t want, but you need to raise ... The current Georgian president taught not to love Russia.
In general, the spit on a stone in Georgia has already found. And if the meetings organized by Bidzina Ivanishvili pass calmly and even without police “tricks”, then we can say that Saakashvili was threatened with a finger from across the ocean: they don’t touch Ivanishvili (he has “grandmas”) (current president) to these “recommendations heed. And if a “festive” march of Georgian security officials takes place with rubber bullets saluting and gas “amusing” the crowd, then you can be sure that Uncle Misha will fight for power again and may not react to Washington again referring to interference with communication ...
Interrupted ride ...
May in the yard. Many are thinking about where to spend your vacation. Someone, according to tradition, chose resorts in the Krasnodar Territory, someone waved to Spain, someone to Thailand, and four Russian bikers decided to “sunbathe” on the territory of ... Iraq. The travelers, whose names became known (Alexander Vardanyants, Oleg Kapkaev, Maxim Ignatiev and Oleg Maximov), decided to surf the Middle East on their iron horses and, as they put it, wash the wheels of their motorcycles in the Persian Gulf. However, apparently, the guys forgot that for some time their wheels in this very Gulf have the right to wash except American armored cars.
Perhaps that is why bikers were detained and taken to Baghdad to "clarify the situation." The reason for the detention, by the way, was either the extravagant appearance of the bikers, or a very interesting fact - one of the motorcyclists, vigilant Iraqi law enforcement officers, found a mobile phone in their underpants and immediately suspected all four of them from spying. Apparently, the dominance of Hollywood films hit the head of Iraqi politicians abruptly, because to represent spies with mobile phones in shorts, riding motorcycles with roaring engines is too much.
Then the Russian bikers in an Iraqi prison had to face the triumph of democracy that the American army brought to this country. Democracy turned into a banal beating. Apparently, in this way the Iraqi “corrective labor system” decided to dislodge testimony from the Russians about who they work for - maybe the FSB, and maybe the SVR, but the bikers, like Malchishi-Kibalchishi, said nothing answer, but only had time to scribble SMS to Moscow, describing how their cheerful Iraqi vacation goes ...
As a result, all four were nevertheless handed over to representatives of the Russian embassy, but they announced that they were in Iraq on fake visas. Allegedly, a travel company that sold Iraqi visas to bikers slipped a counterfeit to them. It remains a mystery why someone needed to fake visas in such a "tourist paradise", which today is Iraq. However, now the travel agency itself faces serious problems.
So, the Iraqis let the motorcyclists go, but they left their motorcycles. Therefore, if someone suddenly decides to go to Iraq in the near future in order to “warm up” on its sunny beaches, then the kind of Iraqis rushing with a whoop on iron horses with Russian numbers should not mislead them ... Trophies ...
Part II. Broad is my native land
There are people, but no rights
A few days ago, the US State Department released another annual report on the observance of human rights in the world. As everyone can understand after reading the report, Russia is not the worst country on the planet. The worst countries are Belarus, Iran, China, North Korea, Syria, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan. There are people in these countries, but they have no rights.
What do you want? Russia only falsifies elections, suppresses peaceful opposition demonstrations and slightly stifles freedom of the press. Well, even oppresses the rights of LGBT. After all, gays are people too, just in Russia not everyone understands this.
Byelorussia put in the report in the number of the worst deserved. Judge for yourself: when the blue German minister Guido Westerwelle called the good old father of the European progressive habit "dictator", the Belarusian president was outraged: “As for the second, not pink, not blue, who shouted about dictatorship there ... Hearing this, I thought: it is better to be a dictator than blue.” And the dictatorial Belarus was decided to register in the report as a country without rights.
Iran. In this country, with its underground nuclear facilities, they are allowed somewhere, then they are not allowed by the IAEA inspectors, it is rumored that uranium is being enriched not by 20, but by 27%. Of course, 90% is still far away - probably as far as Jefferson’s sample democracy. Moreover, the obstinate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for some reason does not want, as the G6 countries demand, to limit uranium enrichment to 20%, to close the enrichment complex at Ford, and also to take out the existing enriched uranium from the country - and everything is just so for the great life. No, say, to stop the sanctions - at least partially. But no: the Europeans and Americans refused to remove even a part of the sanctions from Iran. Instead, Tehran was told that they would consider the possibility of lifting the sanctions "later." In addition, generous Westerners offered Tehran nuclear fuel for the manufacture of medical isotopes, instructions for operating nuclear reactors and ... spare parts for passenger aircraft. Iranians know how to behave politely, and only therefore called such a proposal "obsolete, incomplete and unbalanced."
В Chinain America, they say, spending on defense (and perhaps preparing a future war with the United States — for world hegemony) is no longer 106 billion dollars a year, as officially announced, but either 120 or 180. And on 180 billions, the people who know how to live economically can not only conquer America, but also the Moon and Mars. And then, the undemocratic perennial persecution in China of the renowned blind human rights activist Chen Guancheng, who managed to escape from house arrest in a remote Chinese province and the next day was not somewhere, but in the US embassy in Beijing, for 500 km from the native village. Americans had to urgently give him a grant and enroll as a student at the University of New York. Next year, of course, the journalist Yang Rui, one of the supporters of the Chinese dictatorship, will get into the new State Department report. It was he who, defying tolerance and other democratic subtleties, fervently urged: “The Public Security Bureau wants to get rid of foreign trash ... Cut off their foreign snake heads. People who cannot find work in the US or Europe often come to China to appropriate our money, engage in slave trade, or spread false information that encourages people to emigrate. ” What really right here ...
С North Korea everything is very clear. Totalitarian regime, missiles, nuclear weapons, landfills, threats to wipe out peaceful South Korea. And still executions of officials-drunkards under the personal order of Kim Jong-un - and from a mortar. So that no trace, no hair left. No, human rights are not found here. Yes, no one is looking for.
Syria. This is a terrible country, where President Assad daily destroys his own people, whose trembling representatives have one single outlet: to protest on Twitter. (However, the opposition has a choice: you can still fight shoulder to shoulder with Al-Qaeda). As American senior senator from Arizona John McCain thinks, Bashar Asad has already killed 10.000 people in Syria. So soon there will be not only rights, but also people.
В Of Turkmenistan only 9 May 2012, abolished the historical concept of the Great Patriotic War. Yes, this backward republic is far from the democratic Latvia, which worships the heroes of the SS! Far from Lithuania, which regularly bills Russia for the "Soviet occupation" - all upwards. However, the fact that the Great Patriotic War will now be called simply “the 1941-1945 war” in Turkmenistan gives one thought: in the next American report, the status of this country will be raised.
No matter how ambassador George Krol tried to instill Uzbeks correct view of history - that is to say American, - these stubborn people still do not want to consider the same Great Patriotic War as an ordinary "conflict" in which impudent Germans who crossed the German-Uzbek border a little east of Connecticut, brave Uzbeks together with brave Yankees expelled to their Teutonic territories, and there was cut to the walnut. The censorship, which the respected Mr. Krol, who is eagerly prohibiting criticism in his country of residence, is also not taking root among the Uzbeks, is heavily inculcating in the territory under his control. Therefore, Uzbekistan and grow and grow to the height of human rights, which blooms and smells in America.
Portrait of the President in a coat and suit
Artist Brett Murray recently painted a portrait of South African President Jacob Zuma. This portrait was exhibited in the Johannesburg gallery "Goodman". However, neither the president nor the court, in which she applied for a decision to ban publicly show the picture, the ruling party "African National Congress" did not like this work of art.
Here are the times! Did not like - so immediately and in court? What kind of democracy in South Africa? The artist painted the portrait, the gallery accepted it. People walk, look. Even, one might say, admire. Those who especially liked the portrait, distributed copies of it on the Internet. True, May 22 some vandals, traces of which, as they say, lead to the president, took a painting and doused it. Black and red. I had to remove the spoiled canvas from the gallery.
The picture, by the way, is called "Spear". Well, the president of the country is depicted there not with a machine gun or a portable rocket launcher, but with a primitive spear, which hints at his racial inferiority? No, God forbid. He has no spear, no dart, no bow. No glass beads around his neck.
And representatives of the African National Congress party all the same say that the picture is “insulting and rude”.
It is difficult to please the president. Especially Zuma: the leader of South Africa has 11 times sued, suing for libel. Once he also sued the artist: someone Jonathan Shapiro depicted the president raping a girl, and not simple, but personifying justice.
The painting "Spear" Zuma written in a coat. And under his coat - a suit. Maybe not enough tie? No, and there is a tie. Coat wrong style or color? Green, and a jacket - red? Yes, with blue buttons? No, the painter's sense of color did not change.
There is, of course, one nuance: in the place where the presidential jacket ends, the artist Murray forgot to draw pants. Well, at least some. Let even yellow. Let not pants, and sports leotards. The Chinese “Adidas” with three stripes would also come off. Why are there with three - with two!
Well, not pants or tights, so at least pants. Swim, family. Black, green, at the worst, polka-dotted. Inspiration is inspiration, and this is what the presidents understand. Coat, suit and polka-dot panties - and into the gallery. Indeed, original.
However, whether the artist saved on paint, or decided to achieve originality even more, but he did not draw any pants to the president of the country. No pants, no bottoms, no leotards, no pants. Not a fig leaf.
So Mr. Zuma remained in a coat, in a suit - and without panties. With nudes, as culturally written in the press, the genitals.
And to sue is useless. The court has already said that it is not able to track the ban on the distribution of the “Spear” piece. For this, the judicial system of South Africa would have to block the entire Internet.
Representatives of the "African National Congress" assure that such a picture means disrespect for the president, and in addition to the constitution. To the constitution? Well, at least, disrespect for biology and physiology is not dragged.
It would be better if Zuma thought about this. First, the picture is called “Spear”, and not “Worm” (and Zume is 70 years old, he is going to marry for the sixth time, and he has 18 children). There is no need to sue, and award the artist. Secondly, Mr. Zuma would have thought that for good reason American ex-president Bill Clinton entered the recent poll among the top five presidents of the country in her entire history - after Lincoln, Reagan, Washington and Kennedy. Clinton had a better economy in the USA than Bush Jr. and Obama, but mostly Clinton was famous for his courageous relations with Monica Lewinsky. Clinton from the Oval Office, everyone remembers, but who remembers Coolidge and Ford?
With the sixth wife, eighteen children and the picture “Spear” - which you shouldn’t have to paint with paint, but you had to buy it from Murray and hang it in the bedroom - Zuma would be guaranteed lifetime and posthumous fame.
Sometimes major politicians really lack ordinary irony.
Angela Merkel: Berlin is in Russia. Near Hamburg
Children can embarrass adults. They do it well because they act from the heart, and they are not going to drive anyone into the paint. But one thing is when an ordinary folder or a nurse in the kitchen is embarrassed, and quite another when some special adult gets into a stupid, awkward position in public. For example, from those people who are often shown on TV. Who run the country. To whom everyone believes just because they probably never make mistakes.
If George W. Bush, a well-known specialist in Africa, was able to publicly flaunt his geographical knowledge (“We must help democratize Afghanistan, Iraq and other African countries”), then Angela Merkel, whom the kids had a small exam the other day, was stuck in her slip.
German kids asked the chancellor's aunt to show her hometown on a map. No, they did not test Angela Merkel, deliberately giving her a difficult task: the thing was that the class had an open lesson on the topic of migration - and the conversation was about where was born. And on the board hung a contour map. It turned out, by the way, that Angela Merkel was born in Hamburg. Schoolchildren showed their hometowns on the map; The Chancellor had to do the same.
And it was here that Frau Merkel missed. And missed seriously: wanting to show her native Hamburg on the world map, she decided to first decide where Berlin was located. It would seem that Berlin ... somewhere there, nach Osten ... And Mrs. Merkel, smiling, poked her pointer in Russia, in the region of the Komi Republic.
- No, wrong! - laughed in class.
And the kids showed the German Chancellor, where is Berlin. The capital of this very Germany.
McFaul does not reboot. Remove the task?
But perhaps our long-time good old acquaintance, a man surrounded by “wild” people, the American ambassador Michael McFaul, has not shown himself. The other day, he spoke at the Higher School of Economics, where, in a favorite unctuous and withering manner, he conveyed to the audience his whole vision of the situation in Russia and its relations with the United States. He started the ambassador, according to the canons adopted in the Carnegie psychology textbooks, for health. For health, according to Michael McFaul, this is a couple of on-duty phrases about “control-alt-delite,” that is, the continuation of the reboot. They say that the people of the United States hope that Mr Putin ..., that democratic norms ... that the reboot will continue ... Well, in general, everything is in the usual easily predictable style. Next, McFaul, having decided that the "gingerbread" "savages" got the full program, moved, as they say to water procedures, and poured their "boiling water" on the crowd ...
The first thing that the American ambassador decided to say in this regard is that Russia allegedly wants to achieve a positive outcome everywhere with the help of bribes. It remains for certain unknown why Mr. McFaul decided to speak about bribes during his “lecture”. Maybe recently he had the good fortune to talk with the Moscow traffic police inspectors or tried to get a visit to the therapist in the district clinic ...
McFaul remembered for some reason 2009 the year and the Kyrgyz president Bakiyev, who, they say, the Kremlin promised billions of dollars in bribes to get rid of the American base in Manas, the center of transit traffic. The ambassador cannot understand this in any way: they say, why should Russia get rid of foreign military bases, because these bases do not carry any threat to it. Like, why is Russia trying to “buy” the loyalty of foreign leaders to advance their interests. The United States, hell, they never allowed themselves to do this ... The American administration, as the main American God sees it (the multi-million dollar public debt), never went to using budget money to search for loyalty. True, the United States has another mechanism for how to find this loyalty, besides using the printing press, this is also the main means of persuasion - Tomahawks and heavy bombers.
Further, McFaul, as is now fashionable to say, gave "legal" guarantees that the State Department does not finance the Russian opposition in general and Alexei Navalny in particular. One would like to get from McFaul, several greater guarantees than the usual verbal legal (in the American case, this is probably the same thing), launched in the wind. There is such an option - as in some time in the Soviet courts, ask: "Do you give a tooth?"
The ambassador said that he financed exclusively civil society organizations. It turns out that the Russian opposition, which indirectly confirms McFaul himself, has nothing to do with civil society. Those are on! .. It seems that Mr. Ambassador did not understand what he said, and thus he strung himself on a big double hook: if the State Department does not finance the opposition, then the opposition in Russia is not a civil-public berry, but if after all that berry field, it turns out that the State Department also finances it. Such a philosophical incident from the head of the American embassy in Moscow. Well, what can I say - with us, "savages", and not such a flash ...
"Black Magic" office of the Minister of Education, or Fursenko - 2
No sooner had the Russians waved blue handkerchiefs following Andrei Fursenko who left his chair in the Government, as it seems that this very chair was occupied by Fursenko-2 - Dmitry Livanov. And after all, this should be the case: this newest Minister of Education of the Russian Federation didn’t have time to sit in Mr. Fursenko’s chair when words came from his (new minister) mouth, from which many began to wipe their eyes and glasses better - wasn’t it Andrei Aleksandrovich again returned to his office. No, it seems - the face is different, but what then does the new minister say? And he says the following. In his opinion, it is urgent to halve the number of budget places in universities and begin to switch to total paid higher education ... They say that as soon as higher education becomes paid, this is how it goes with us! It will be possible to take loans, for which the alleged employer will then pay off ... Well, what kind of employer is there in Russia, sorry, will it be in our reality for young professionals to pay? No, maybe, of course ... Only if it comes from the wages of this very young specialist.
Now let's estimate the financial side of the issue.
So, Mr. Livanov says that it is necessary to raise the price of education for one student from 60000 rubles per year to 250000 (in his opinion, this will affect the effectiveness of the education itself). Multiplying 250000 by 5 years of study and we find that an applicant, in order to enter a university, must take at least 1250000 rubles in a bank. With the interest that banks put up today, a young man (if he takes this loan for 5 years, and payments start from the moment they start work) will have to pay 25000 (!) Rubles at least monthly. If we take into account that the average wage in most Russian regions is less than the amount received in the calculations, it is difficult to imagine how a young man (oh, no, sorry - the employer) will pay with his loan ...
However, this is not the only reef of the idea of the new Minister of Education. Imagine that the university barely finishes terry troechnik, which somehow put his terry triples in the diploma. Such a person comes, for example, to production, and the same employer understands that a graduate is generally incompetent, and you have to pay some bills for him ... And you can’t be fired, and you’ll keep it more expensive. In-oh-oh-oh ... In the end, this person may, after working for a couple of months, will want to quit (yes, at least for family reasons), and the employer must pay for it anyway ... Or then the credit history outweigh another employer? In general, Dmitry Livanov made a riddle, and such a riddle that there are much more unknowns in it than the initial data.
Yeah, the chair of Andrei Fursenko has clearly magical power, and here it smacks of some sort of blatant black magic. Maybe the chair is just black skinned? .. Then you need a new minister to suggest the idea: let it change the color of the chair - maybe lighter thoughts will appear ...
Marsh moves to Rustaveli
Happy Sunday is waiting for the current President of Georgia, Mikhail Saakashvili. The Georgian opposition, led by its leader Bidzina Ivanishvili, decided to present a surprise to the president in the form of a many thousands protest action, which is to take place on the streets of Tbilisi on a weekend day. Apparently, the opposition realizes that Saakashvili has not had major upheavals lately, and Mikhail Nikolozovich has calmed down to a large extent. Now, the opposition coalition intends to demonstrate to Saakashvili that in the next election he and his political force can expect a grandiose fiasco.
Only Saakashvili heard about 75 thousands of people who can dam Rustaveli Avenue, as he also decided to strike back. And what kind of blow can the main champion of democracy in the Caucasus deliver? Well, of course, accuse the opposition of ties with Russia. As soon as Ivanishvili spoke about the fact that his “Georgian Dream” party, along with other partners in a broad coalition, could “take over” the parliament in the elections, so Mikhail Saakashvili set about his deadly weapon. Look, people: Ivanishvili has financial ties with Moscow! - cried the current Georgian authorities. - And this means that Ivanishvili is a protege of the Kremlin. Well, in general, classical oratory, stigmatizing all the enemies of the Georgian president.
However, Ivanishvili was far from being sewn. He took and sold all his assets to Moscow in order to concentrate entirely on the election campaign. Like, look, good people - nothing binds me to this northern country, which “occupies” our lands. Of course, for Ivanishvili, the issue of “occupation” is acute and not worth it, but in modern Georgian realities, which Mr. Saakashvili has embroidered with his red crosses, you want the issue of “occupation” - you don’t want, but you need to raise ... The current Georgian president taught not to love Russia.
In general, the spit on a stone in Georgia has already found. And if the meetings organized by Bidzina Ivanishvili pass calmly and even without police “tricks”, then we can say that Saakashvili was threatened with a finger from across the ocean: they don’t touch Ivanishvili (he has “grandmas”) (current president) to these “recommendations heed. And if a “festive” march of Georgian security officials takes place with rubber bullets saluting and gas “amusing” the crowd, then you can be sure that Uncle Misha will fight for power again and may not react to Washington again referring to interference with communication ...
Interrupted ride ...
May in the yard. Many are thinking about where to spend your vacation. Someone, according to tradition, chose resorts in the Krasnodar Territory, someone waved to Spain, someone to Thailand, and four Russian bikers decided to “sunbathe” on the territory of ... Iraq. The travelers, whose names became known (Alexander Vardanyants, Oleg Kapkaev, Maxim Ignatiev and Oleg Maximov), decided to surf the Middle East on their iron horses and, as they put it, wash the wheels of their motorcycles in the Persian Gulf. However, apparently, the guys forgot that for some time their wheels in this very Gulf have the right to wash except American armored cars.
Perhaps that is why bikers were detained and taken to Baghdad to "clarify the situation." The reason for the detention, by the way, was either the extravagant appearance of the bikers, or a very interesting fact - one of the motorcyclists, vigilant Iraqi law enforcement officers, found a mobile phone in their underpants and immediately suspected all four of them from spying. Apparently, the dominance of Hollywood films hit the head of Iraqi politicians abruptly, because to represent spies with mobile phones in shorts, riding motorcycles with roaring engines is too much.
Then the Russian bikers in an Iraqi prison had to face the triumph of democracy that the American army brought to this country. Democracy turned into a banal beating. Apparently, in this way the Iraqi “corrective labor system” decided to dislodge testimony from the Russians about who they work for - maybe the FSB, and maybe the SVR, but the bikers, like Malchishi-Kibalchishi, said nothing answer, but only had time to scribble SMS to Moscow, describing how their cheerful Iraqi vacation goes ...
As a result, all four were nevertheless handed over to representatives of the Russian embassy, but they announced that they were in Iraq on fake visas. Allegedly, a travel company that sold Iraqi visas to bikers slipped a counterfeit to them. It remains a mystery why someone needed to fake visas in such a "tourist paradise", which today is Iraq. However, now the travel agency itself faces serious problems.
So, the Iraqis let the motorcyclists go, but they left their motorcycles. Therefore, if someone suddenly decides to go to Iraq in the near future in order to “warm up” on its sunny beaches, then the kind of Iraqis rushing with a whoop on iron horses with Russian numbers should not mislead them ... Trophies ...
Part II. Broad is my native land
There are people, but no rights
A few days ago, the US State Department released another annual report on the observance of human rights in the world. As everyone can understand after reading the report, Russia is not the worst country on the planet. The worst countries are Belarus, Iran, China, North Korea, Syria, Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan. There are people in these countries, but they have no rights.
What do you want? Russia only falsifies elections, suppresses peaceful opposition demonstrations and slightly stifles freedom of the press. Well, even oppresses the rights of LGBT. After all, gays are people too, just in Russia not everyone understands this.
Byelorussia put in the report in the number of the worst deserved. Judge for yourself: when the blue German minister Guido Westerwelle called the good old father of the European progressive habit "dictator", the Belarusian president was outraged: “As for the second, not pink, not blue, who shouted about dictatorship there ... Hearing this, I thought: it is better to be a dictator than blue.” And the dictatorial Belarus was decided to register in the report as a country without rights.
Iran. In this country, with its underground nuclear facilities, they are allowed somewhere, then they are not allowed by the IAEA inspectors, it is rumored that uranium is being enriched not by 20, but by 27%. Of course, 90% is still far away - probably as far as Jefferson’s sample democracy. Moreover, the obstinate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for some reason does not want, as the G6 countries demand, to limit uranium enrichment to 20%, to close the enrichment complex at Ford, and also to take out the existing enriched uranium from the country - and everything is just so for the great life. No, say, to stop the sanctions - at least partially. But no: the Europeans and Americans refused to remove even a part of the sanctions from Iran. Instead, Tehran was told that they would consider the possibility of lifting the sanctions "later." In addition, generous Westerners offered Tehran nuclear fuel for the manufacture of medical isotopes, instructions for operating nuclear reactors and ... spare parts for passenger aircraft. Iranians know how to behave politely, and only therefore called such a proposal "obsolete, incomplete and unbalanced."
В Chinain America, they say, spending on defense (and perhaps preparing a future war with the United States — for world hegemony) is no longer 106 billion dollars a year, as officially announced, but either 120 or 180. And on 180 billions, the people who know how to live economically can not only conquer America, but also the Moon and Mars. And then, the undemocratic perennial persecution in China of the renowned blind human rights activist Chen Guancheng, who managed to escape from house arrest in a remote Chinese province and the next day was not somewhere, but in the US embassy in Beijing, for 500 km from the native village. Americans had to urgently give him a grant and enroll as a student at the University of New York. Next year, of course, the journalist Yang Rui, one of the supporters of the Chinese dictatorship, will get into the new State Department report. It was he who, defying tolerance and other democratic subtleties, fervently urged: “The Public Security Bureau wants to get rid of foreign trash ... Cut off their foreign snake heads. People who cannot find work in the US or Europe often come to China to appropriate our money, engage in slave trade, or spread false information that encourages people to emigrate. ” What really right here ...
С North Korea everything is very clear. Totalitarian regime, missiles, nuclear weapons, landfills, threats to wipe out peaceful South Korea. And still executions of officials-drunkards under the personal order of Kim Jong-un - and from a mortar. So that no trace, no hair left. No, human rights are not found here. Yes, no one is looking for.
Syria. This is a terrible country, where President Assad daily destroys his own people, whose trembling representatives have one single outlet: to protest on Twitter. (However, the opposition has a choice: you can still fight shoulder to shoulder with Al-Qaeda). As American senior senator from Arizona John McCain thinks, Bashar Asad has already killed 10.000 people in Syria. So soon there will be not only rights, but also people.
В Of Turkmenistan only 9 May 2012, abolished the historical concept of the Great Patriotic War. Yes, this backward republic is far from the democratic Latvia, which worships the heroes of the SS! Far from Lithuania, which regularly bills Russia for the "Soviet occupation" - all upwards. However, the fact that the Great Patriotic War will now be called simply “the 1941-1945 war” in Turkmenistan gives one thought: in the next American report, the status of this country will be raised.
No matter how ambassador George Krol tried to instill Uzbeks correct view of history - that is to say American, - these stubborn people still do not want to consider the same Great Patriotic War as an ordinary "conflict" in which impudent Germans who crossed the German-Uzbek border a little east of Connecticut, brave Uzbeks together with brave Yankees expelled to their Teutonic territories, and there was cut to the walnut. The censorship, which the respected Mr. Krol, who is eagerly prohibiting criticism in his country of residence, is also not taking root among the Uzbeks, is heavily inculcating in the territory under his control. Therefore, Uzbekistan and grow and grow to the height of human rights, which blooms and smells in America.
Portrait of the President in a coat and suit
Artist Brett Murray recently painted a portrait of South African President Jacob Zuma. This portrait was exhibited in the Johannesburg gallery "Goodman". However, neither the president nor the court, in which she applied for a decision to ban publicly show the picture, the ruling party "African National Congress" did not like this work of art.
Here are the times! Did not like - so immediately and in court? What kind of democracy in South Africa? The artist painted the portrait, the gallery accepted it. People walk, look. Even, one might say, admire. Those who especially liked the portrait, distributed copies of it on the Internet. True, May 22 some vandals, traces of which, as they say, lead to the president, took a painting and doused it. Black and red. I had to remove the spoiled canvas from the gallery.
The picture, by the way, is called "Spear". Well, the president of the country is depicted there not with a machine gun or a portable rocket launcher, but with a primitive spear, which hints at his racial inferiority? No, God forbid. He has no spear, no dart, no bow. No glass beads around his neck.
And representatives of the African National Congress party all the same say that the picture is “insulting and rude”.
It is difficult to please the president. Especially Zuma: the leader of South Africa has 11 times sued, suing for libel. Once he also sued the artist: someone Jonathan Shapiro depicted the president raping a girl, and not simple, but personifying justice.
The painting "Spear" Zuma written in a coat. And under his coat - a suit. Maybe not enough tie? No, and there is a tie. Coat wrong style or color? Green, and a jacket - red? Yes, with blue buttons? No, the painter's sense of color did not change.
There is, of course, one nuance: in the place where the presidential jacket ends, the artist Murray forgot to draw pants. Well, at least some. Let even yellow. Let not pants, and sports leotards. The Chinese “Adidas” with three stripes would also come off. Why are there with three - with two!
Well, not pants or tights, so at least pants. Swim, family. Black, green, at the worst, polka-dotted. Inspiration is inspiration, and this is what the presidents understand. Coat, suit and polka-dot panties - and into the gallery. Indeed, original.
However, whether the artist saved on paint, or decided to achieve originality even more, but he did not draw any pants to the president of the country. No pants, no bottoms, no leotards, no pants. Not a fig leaf.
So Mr. Zuma remained in a coat, in a suit - and without panties. With nudes, as culturally written in the press, the genitals.
And to sue is useless. The court has already said that it is not able to track the ban on the distribution of the “Spear” piece. For this, the judicial system of South Africa would have to block the entire Internet.
Representatives of the "African National Congress" assure that such a picture means disrespect for the president, and in addition to the constitution. To the constitution? Well, at least, disrespect for biology and physiology is not dragged.
It would be better if Zuma thought about this. First, the picture is called “Spear”, and not “Worm” (and Zume is 70 years old, he is going to marry for the sixth time, and he has 18 children). There is no need to sue, and award the artist. Secondly, Mr. Zuma would have thought that for good reason American ex-president Bill Clinton entered the recent poll among the top five presidents of the country in her entire history - after Lincoln, Reagan, Washington and Kennedy. Clinton had a better economy in the USA than Bush Jr. and Obama, but mostly Clinton was famous for his courageous relations with Monica Lewinsky. Clinton from the Oval Office, everyone remembers, but who remembers Coolidge and Ford?
With the sixth wife, eighteen children and the picture “Spear” - which you shouldn’t have to paint with paint, but you had to buy it from Murray and hang it in the bedroom - Zuma would be guaranteed lifetime and posthumous fame.
Sometimes major politicians really lack ordinary irony.
Angela Merkel: Berlin is in Russia. Near Hamburg
Children can embarrass adults. They do it well because they act from the heart, and they are not going to drive anyone into the paint. But one thing is when an ordinary folder or a nurse in the kitchen is embarrassed, and quite another when some special adult gets into a stupid, awkward position in public. For example, from those people who are often shown on TV. Who run the country. To whom everyone believes just because they probably never make mistakes.
If George W. Bush, a well-known specialist in Africa, was able to publicly flaunt his geographical knowledge (“We must help democratize Afghanistan, Iraq and other African countries”), then Angela Merkel, whom the kids had a small exam the other day, was stuck in her slip.
German kids asked the chancellor's aunt to show her hometown on a map. No, they did not test Angela Merkel, deliberately giving her a difficult task: the thing was that the class had an open lesson on the topic of migration - and the conversation was about where was born. And on the board hung a contour map. It turned out, by the way, that Angela Merkel was born in Hamburg. Schoolchildren showed their hometowns on the map; The Chancellor had to do the same.
And it was here that Frau Merkel missed. And missed seriously: wanting to show her native Hamburg on the world map, she decided to first decide where Berlin was located. It would seem that Berlin ... somewhere there, nach Osten ... And Mrs. Merkel, smiling, poked her pointer in Russia, in the region of the Komi Republic.
- No, wrong! - laughed in class.
And the kids showed the German Chancellor, where is Berlin. The capital of this very Germany.
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