Military Review

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. This is a strange feeling of freedom.

Greetings to you, my dear readers! The spring we were waiting for has finally come. So, life boils around us. The sun warms the blood. The blood runs faster through the vessels in which it is supposed to. Oxygen in all organs comes in increased amounts. Good!

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. This is a strange feeling of freedom.

But, if anyone knows, an excess of oxygen in the blood leads to a paradoxical result. Try to take a deep breath a few times. So that the air reaches the bottom of the lungs. And what happens? And you will end up with poisoning! Yes Yes. Oxygen poisoning. Your head will spin from the excess of this important component of air.

That's about it today is observed in Ukrainian society. Many people with whom I talk, just talk about some loss of control over his own head. Yes, and cockroaches it happens.

You, dear readers, already know about our next, whether it is Zrade, or Peremog. About attempts to create a new government. Our deputies then adopt a resolution recognizing the activities of the government of Yatseniuk unsatisfactory, then annul their own resolution. It seems to be no longer so scary to rule. Even satisfactory.

Similarly with the new cabinet. Consultations, bidding, as in Privoz, spraying mud at each other and constant complaints and appeals to the people for help.

Yes, we know everything. Agree. Then the new prime minister will speak on television. Maybe even with the president on a couple. They will say about the road to a happy future. On the need for popular support. On the need to return the Crimea and the Donbass. About vsemirsnsnami. What should I explain to you? Everyone knows everything and can predict.

But we somehow did not care. Some sense of freedom among the majority. Strange feeling. Like that wife from an old song. When "all the spoons are unwashed, all the cups are broken, and the kids are crying on the stove ..." Everything is supposed to be what is usually indecent to show.

The feeling is probably the same as that of those who, during World War II, were driven out by the Germans for demining fields and roads. Drag on the ropes harrow across the field. And they understand that they no longer need anything. Here it is, death. Beside. Maybe the next moment. Or maybe lucky. And then everything will happen again tomorrow. But the result is already known. And each new step is perceived as happiness.

Well, okay, something I hit the philosophy. I will not breathe so deeply. So that there is no excess of this oxygen in the brain. And it’s uncomfortable to spoil your mood in the morning.

Life is in full swing. Adjustable. In all parts of the body. It hurts like that.

Today we are all convinced that Ukraine is now an agrarian country. I read the press or watch TV - for sure, farmers. However, I talk with villagers cockroaches and understand that something is going wrong again. Winter our winter crops survived well. And the villagers are ready to sow a lot. Only here prices are closed up so that there is no sense to do it anymore. Golden bread is obtained. Fuel, seeds, fertilizers ... And then, to grow is one thing. And where to sell? Quotas in the EU. There are Chinese and other Africans ...

We even appointed a new enemy of the Ukrainian people. Do not believe it, but it is ... Firtash! He, so-and-so, stopped the plants for the production of fertilizers in Ukraine. And now it is urgent to open the western borders for imported, God forbid, aggressive, fertilizers. Well, it does not grow much even in our land without these fertilizers. Zrada next. Somehow this situation does not fit into the "agrarian appendage of the West."

It’s ridiculous to write, but today all our economic experts speak more about Russia and its problems. About the USA and Canada. About the EU, finally. If you are not lazy, take a look at our media. From Ukrainian News in economic sections only about the hryvnia course and you will find out.

By the way, this is a nasty hryvnia, as it seems to me, again decided to return to the ruble for your ruble. Remember, once ... Beauty. Burly, rosy-cheeked ... Bucks walked around with gogol. Why? Only 8 hryvnia for such a handsome man. And these Russian “Rubles” already had 30 for the American. And now? Your ruble is such a good fellow.

The American walks around, threatens his fist. And what's the point? He is getting fatter and getting fatter. And our ... In short, so quietly the body moves again at your ruble ... Already it seems to be getting closer to 0,4. I think he wants to catch up in weight. To match. And then these Westerners somehow very quickly satisfied. More to each other show off.

Yes, so that you, the Russians, are not really upset their noses, we have revealed your next zradu. If I could, I bet you couldn’t guess what. And it is connected with oil. Shame on you You are in our "gas station" called. Scared? And then ... We have already become experts on inventing your "feats".

In short, the Kremlin again, through its man, Benya Kolomoisky, is dirtying Ukraine. And do not say that our Kolomoisky. He can not be ours by definition. All of us who stand out from the crowd in general are agents of either the Kremlin or the USA. Or, at worst, Turkey.

So here. Kolomoisky oil does not give technical. I took, you know, Ukrtrannafta oil for storage. Contracts concluded. It seems like money will be stored. So what? Does not understand something, that did not give us the next tranche. No money in the country. Pay, screaming ... Goon. What is for it how many hundreds of millions are there - zilch. The people won the last hryvnia on military tax spends and does not squeak.

Thanks to our judges. We quickly made a decision. Contracts are not valid. And that's all. Figo with oil, not money. Now give the bastard people oil.

In general, we now decided to freeze debts. Who should - forgive everyone. Our deputies decided so. Now, "vsemirsnsnami" and Russia will wait for the rise of our economy, so that means to return the money ... And we are in the telephone - wait for an answer, wait for an answer, wait for an answer ...

Yes, I almost forgot. That is because the enemies are all around. I'm about pranker. I have never heard such a thing before. And today even the cockroach knows.

By the way, yours, Russian. They have become quite insolent, they already speak for Himself. No, not yours. Our ... Vladimir Kuznetsov and Alexey Stolyarov "divorced" the United States. Well, not entirely, but in the person of one, but respected newspaper. Interview, you know, gave. For our guarantor. About corruption and this, Panamagate ...

True, they then called and told the editor that it was a fake. But. Our SBU has already published irrefutable evidence that the interview was prepared by the FSB. Our spies are already spying on who did it. And such a puncture. Substitute special service.

But nothing. You will meet Putin with the people. Speak will be the type of live. And we have already prepared a fig in your pocket. Our agents have already reported that everything is rehearsed. And determined. In the boarding house near Moscow supposedly gathered people. All seated. Identified questions. In short, we already know everything!

The only thing that bothers us is that your president again chooses our “independent” journalist in tridents amid the colors of the downs. That will be a bummer. Ours are not involved in the productions!

And honestly, we envy you. A president who is not afraid to talk live like this is worth a lot. I can’t remember another such leader with my cockroach. Although lucky for those lucky.

The Americans here again complained about the Russian plane. That you fly dangerously close to this unfortunate "Donald Cook". Well, it floats and floats itself across the Baltic ship. In Poland floats. To power to demonstrate. And your planes, more precisely, the plane, again ... And flew about. Americans in general have become Su-24 afraid. Now they fly in the Black Sea, now in the Baltic. That in Syria. And when only the aircraft has time to distill from place to place. We are all sure that there are no planes in Russia. After we cut off your oxygen supply with spare parts.

The aggressiveness of the Russians was confirmed by the Americans themselves. They even made a statement in Washington. "The White House is aware of the incident. [...] This incident in no way corresponds to the professional standards of conduct of military forces operating in close proximity to each other in international water and airspace," said White House spokesman George Ernest at a briefing in Washington.

But Russia did not make any statement that the American sailors unprofessionally sailed under the Russian plane. Like this. So the Americans sailed peacefully. A rocket on the "Cook" for design. The idea is such a design. Beauty will save the world. Although Su-24 with combat load also looks nice.

Well, the last for today. The Ukrainian experience is already being adopted by European countries. You always depicted geese when I wrote about the great Ukrainian wall. They gagged in unison, stomach cramps. That wall, which was buried on the Russian-Ukrainian border on the personal order of Yatsenyuk. Thought Ukrainians are fools? What we have nowhere to put money? But the Europeans appreciated all the greatness of the idea. Our idea.

Austria began to build a "Ukrainian wall" on the border with Italy! True, the Austrians are small people. The scale of our our lack. The wall is built on only one pass, Brenner. But ... The idea is ours!

Okay. I finish talking about events and go to breathe. Damn it, with this poisoning. Not poisoned to the end. And spring will end soon ... And I advise you. Take your Tarakanushka in the pile, start a car - and in the woods. On picnics, on fishing, just to walk on the young grass ... Life will continue even when someone wants to finish it. Life can not be killed. You can kill the body. But life is short. What can be seen today, alas, will not happen again tomorrow. Tomorrow will be something else.

For the militia. I am not a reptile ... Moreover, not even dill. I'm a cockroach. And I will fulfill your request right now. Albeit late, but I congratulate the DNI on his birthday and the song that they asked for, I will post. Let them think on the opposite side too. Can such people be tilted? Even in duplicate lay out. Because I believe, someday, and we will be like this. With pride in front of proud people ...

Your Colorado Cockroach.
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  1. parusnik
    parusnik April 19 2016 06: 40
    Some sense of freedom for the majority. Weird feeling... This sweet word "freedom", already stuck together ... from received sweets ...
    1. CONTROL
      CONTROL April 19 2016 07: 27
      Quote: parusnik
      Some sense of freedom for the majority. Weird feeling... This sweet word "freedom", already stuck together ... from received sweets ...

      "This is the sweet word" freedom "! ...
      ... And diabetes? Which sugar ... in the first type? ..
      Alas, the Okoloradsky Cockroach is increasingly beginning to resemble the Trojan Horse ...
      1. Maksus
        Maksus April 19 2016 11: 09
        What does it remind of? Normal cockroach, thinking. There are few, stable ones.
      2. nadezhiva
        nadezhiva April 19 2016 11: 58
        Quote: CONTROL
        The Okoloradsky cockroach "more and more begins to resemble the" Trojan Horse "...

        Do not croak. Even if he Aboutradsky. I want a person to speak - let him write.
        From time to time I stumble upon the thought that under this nickname one cunning person writes, but this is not a reason to plug a person wink
    2. SSR
      SSR April 19 2016 09: 06
      Quote: parusnik
      Some sense of freedom for the majority. Weird feeling... This sweet word "freedom", already stuck together ... from received sweets ...

      Very many painfully freely interpret the word freedom while forgetting that a free person has responsibilities. The "free" people crap, crap and are often unhappy with the fact that they don't have enough money for additional crap.
    3. novel66
      novel66 April 19 2016 11: 22
      these are not sweets, these are European values!
    4. The comment was deleted.
  2. Shiva83483
    Shiva83483 April 19 2016 06: 41
    Tell me, mustachioed, and it was worth it for the sake of this hemorrhoids, which is now going on to fence the garden? They would ask Yanukovych to ruin the economy, make thirty bucks, and quarrel with Russia, everything would be cheaper ... people would have much more life left, the ragul from Galicia would speak less with speech, about speech therapists I’ll be silent for a long time, there would be no end .. .or you as a success, according to a joke, everything through the anus is done, the most important thing is not to interfere? And you yourself beware, do not pay attention to the flawed-nerve cells, although they are restored, but not as fast as they burn. And in the end, WE worry about you .... good luck to you.
    1. denisey
      denisey April 19 2016 08: 01
      It seems that the Ukrainians in your opinion themselves wanted such a development. Have you apparently forgotten the Gorbachev and Yeltsin years of rule? A man really worries about his countrymen. Yes, and it seems to me that people like Tarakan Okoloradsky feel more and more disconnected from their homeland and I hope that we will all the same be reunited, because we are one Russian nation.
      1. baudolino
        baudolino April 19 2016 08: 13
        That is why it is necessary to darken the BU longer in its independence so that it dawns on everyone what is good and what is bad. (Horror without end before a terrible end).
  3. Same lech
    Same lech April 19 2016 06: 44
    The Americans generally became afraid of the SU-24. Now they fly in the Black Sea, then in the Baltic. That is in Syria. And when only this aircraft has time to distill from place to place.

    Thanks to the author for satire and humor, laughed ...

    Spring is seething in veins.
  4. EvgNik
    EvgNik April 19 2016 07: 06
    Thank you for Farewell to Slavyanka. Favorite march of all who served in the army. At least it was so with us.
    1. grandson of the hero
      grandson of the hero April 19 2016 07: 30
      Uhh! How many tarpaulin boots were threshed for this march. As I hear, the leg itself stretches.
  5. Lens
    Lens April 19 2016 07: 09
    As for me, the author incorrectly pointed to the moment of the appearance of the new government. There is no need to negotiate with him; it was originally from Petit. There was a proposal to put the prime minister of the former Minister of Finance Jaresko. But she immediately set the conditions - she picks up ministers herself, regardless of parties and colors. Here I’m already glad I stood on my hind legs - how can I cut the budget without representatives? !! So they picked up Groysman, a good, obedient Vinitsky lad ...
  6. inkass_98
    inkass_98 April 19 2016 07: 18
    Thanks to the cockroach. And I also offer "Farewell to the Slav" in this version:
    1. Victor Demchenko
      Victor Demchenko April 19 2016 09: 14
      nostalgia... love
    2. gunya
      gunya April 19 2016 09: 20
      Great deed. The oath is taken only once!
      1. 11 black
        11 black April 20 2016 16: 34
        I apologize for the march from "Red Alert" (which is translated as "Red Threat" - not well, but how could it be otherwise - go and our partners missed you) laughing , it was painfully good clip made to our overseas friends about this, although the Stalinists will not forgive me for music - well, okay laughing

        PS - Turks and ukrofashistam just need to see it!
  7. volodya
    volodya April 19 2016 07: 28
    The article is interesting. They have fun there. Well, the circus is always fun!
    1. EvgNik
      EvgNik April 19 2016 07: 56
      Quote: volodya
      They have fun there.

      Nothing fun. Laughter through tears.
      1. volodya
        volodya April 19 2016 09: 50
        Quote: EvgNik
        Quote: volodya
        They have fun there.

        Nothing fun. Laughter through tears.

        I agree, but after all, they rode the whole collective farm. I corresponded with someone, they say such nonsense "we have the Internet on coupons", everyone who came to us was sent to Magadan, we have worse than theirs, and stuff like that. those who work for us are normal guys, but when they drink something like that, we are to blame that they are plowing for us and in general the scoops are to blame for everything!
  8. shcishcok
    shcishcok April 19 2016 07: 53
    oh cockroach! thank you so much!!! for the march of Slavyanka! oh and strong music! and once we marched under it ... your politicians. I bow low to you, Tarakashechka. )))
  9. The comment was deleted.
  10. Pvi1206
    Pvi1206 April 19 2016 08: 06
    Freedom in the Western world is freedom from common sense.
    Ultimately, it will lead people first to a split personality, then to madness ...
  11. Egoza
    Egoza April 19 2016 09: 08
    Don't drift, Cockroach! our reforms will proceed now ... at an unprecedented pace. Look at the drugs, or rather the prices for them, how cleverly sorted it out, in a week! Adequately so, while the Georgian-Ukrainian Minister of Health is still listed. And also ... CAM Parubiy, as A. Zubchenko said in "Versii"
    Paruby, by the way, has already sharply accelerated the reform of the parliament - the first official document signed by the darling of speech therapists studying the peculiarities of speech defects in Andrei. In short, the essence of the speaker’s order boils down to the urgent need to switch to electronic document management, since “there was an acute shortage” and “temporary absence” of cartridges for Samsung SCX-4600, Samsung SCX-4100, Kyocera FS-920, Kyocera FS-1010 and Kyocera FS-1016MFP.

    So sho - wow! Let's live! As promised by "Comrade." Gorbachev, only translated into Ukromov.
    1. svp67
      svp67 April 19 2016 09: 26
      Quote: Egoza
      Do not drift, Cockroach!

      I think that with people like you, it is certainly not suitable for him to drift. Hold on. Sooner or later, but the "wind of change" will come. He cannot but come.
      And let the "kurkuli" rejoice for now, but their joy will not last long.
      I want to remind them and many others, and I would like to congratulate someone on the 63rd anniversary of SMERSH. It was a good organization and its successors were no worse.
  12. Monster_Fat
    Monster_Fat April 19 2016 09: 13
    Well, so in our media the same thing as the author writes about the Ukrainian media: everywhere only about Ukraine, about Crimea, world oil prices, about Saudi Arabia, about Syria, about Israel and Palestine, about the earthquake in Japan and Ecuador, about the scandal with "meldonium" and about other international crap to which I personally do not care at all. But you will not find in these media any mention of the laws that are being prepared and will be adopted and will affect every Russian, you will not find any mention of what is actually happening in the vast country of Russia, the situation in industry and the level of prices and wages in the regions , about how different groups of Russians actually live, how they make "ends meet" in today's difficult situation, you will find nothing but a "brave struggle" with ice jams (which, as usual, suddenly "unexpectedly" and to fight with which, as always, there is not enough: no explosives, no strength, no intelligence). And you say Ukraine ... how are we different from them?
    1. black
      black April 19 2016 09: 35
      This is for you from vitamin deficiency. Depression.
  13. magician
    magician April 19 2016 09: 44
    Thanks cockroach for the article, plus. Rulers come and go, the people remain. That's just bad that in the minds of the people European nonsense. I can not believe that a Ukrainian would like to change his identity to European values. Sooner or later the disease passes, the consequences of the disease are difficult to predict.
  14. April 19 2016 10: 44
    The people remain, but the question is what? My opinion is Ukraine has passed the point of no return !!!! If they roll a barrel on relatives in Russia!
  15. karakuin
    karakuin April 19 2016 10: 52
    Why are ISIS quiet in Europe? It is necessary to strain Brussel more often. Or London in Paris, it’s time to get a bold leg out. You see, the Tolerasts would be distracted from Ukraine more often. And she would have lived dear on her hard-earned, without bucks for services.
  16. Waran
    Waran April 19 2016 13: 56
    Someday this "Titanic" will return to its native shores, BUT:
    We do not need "Okraina", we need: Lugansk and LO, Kiev and KO, Chernigov and CHO, Odessa and OO, Dnepropetrovsk about DO, and so on according to the list, as part of the Russian Federation! and point.

    And all that hisses and bubbles is sent to the reservation, where is the thread on the border with Poland.
  17. Scud
    Scud April 19 2016 14: 10
    He burst into tears from the Farewell of the Slav ... What a force in a Russian song!
  18. Damask
    Damask April 19 2016 14: 41
    That will demolish all the monuments of the USSR and the Ukrainians will heal like in a fairy tale
  19. Old warrior
    Old warrior April 19 2016 16: 31
    Yes, from the very beginning they had problems with their heads ... practically everyone - where did all this herd of sheep come from then?
  20. trantor
    trantor April 19 2016 18: 33
    But Russia did not make any statement that American sailors unprofessionally sailed under a Russian plane.

    1. volodya
      volodya April 19 2016 19: 40
      Sailors do not swim, sailors go, well, maybe Americans swim, it does not sink.
      1. domokl
        domokl April 19 2016 20: 08
        Quote: volodya
        Sailors do not swim, sailors go, well, maybe Americans swim, it does not sink.

        I think the Cockroach is aware of who walks and what swims. therefore wrote so laughing
  21. engineer
    engineer April 19 2016 19: 37
    A cockroach is not Colorado. This is a Colorado potato beetle. He came from the United States and came to us from Poland with potatoes. So be careful: an NGO with grants or a foreign agent?
    1. domokl
      domokl April 19 2016 20: 09
      Once upon a time, when the first article of the Cockroach appeared, he explained everything ... So, in Ukraine there are cockroaches and Colorado laughing
    2. yehat
      yehat April 20 2016 11: 04
      Do you want to say that there are no cockroaches in Colorado? I'm afraid this statement is false