Tank Tiger
History tank The tiger began many hundreds of thousands of years ago when several species of large felines decided to abandon long saber-shaped fangs that did not go out of fashion and did not meet modern conditions, acquire tails and start applying new camouflage schemes. Despite the ridicule of their arrogant saber-toothed relatives, they patiently grew long tails and carefully examined various types of masking color. After several tens of thousands of years of hard work, the first tiger finally sharpened its claws on a palm tree and until the thirties of the twentieth century it was more or less settled down.
Meanwhile, A. Schicklgruber came to power in Germany, colloquially referred to as Hitler. And without having prozloderivovav and five years began to realize their voimooglomaniyanie fantasies. Not left aside and Panzervaffe. The first German tanks, of course, were not pedal, as some unscrupulous researchers say, but, nevertheless, only frankly biased people called them tanks. The Fuhrer wanted something more ... At the end of January 1937, the company Henschel received an order for the design of a unit, bashfully called "fighting machine". The first manufactured sample was not a tank and was generally assembled from two parts on bolts. His running gear was completely normal and nothing foreshadowed the horror that thousands of German technicians had to experience in 43-45. At that time, progressive Soviet methods of managing the design process were not used in Germany. They consisted of placing entire groups in special, tightly closed rooms where they had all the conditions for productive work, so when representatives of Panzervafe came to see an experienced tank, they quickly showed something without a tower loaded with rails.
- Where is the tank? - asked the tank crews.
- And here, - the designers answered.
- It???
“Well, actually, this is not a tank yet.” This is the first conceptual experimental prototype of an experimental machine.
- And at once it was impossible to make an experimental car?
- Well, uh, in such a case haste to anything. In addition, we tried on it some interesting ideas.
Then one of the officers of the Pancervaffe said that he has acquaintances who work in the Gestapo, so if this continues, then some interesting ideas on pain thresholds, strengths of joints and joints and anatomy in general will also be tested on the designers. Less than a year, as the designers presented the second prototype. In order to avoid raids by tankers and the Gestapo, they quickly pushed a tower from PzKpfw IV on it and proudly showed them to Pancerwaffe.
- Well? - Representatives asked
- Here! the engineers answered proudly.
- What is "here"? - Guderian, who was part of the group hissed ominously, reaching for a holster.
Guderian was dragged away in the direction of Goth and Manstein, after which, to raise the morale of the first two engineers, they were quickly shot. This unusually cheered the rest and a new prototype appeared literally a year later. He did not have a tower, but he had something else ...
Among the employees of the company Henschel was a dark legend about the childhood of the engineer Knipkamp. The evil stepmother forced the poor boy to wash, wipe and arrange dishes on the shelves from morning till night. The endless rows of plates - that is what remained in the memory of the unfortunate child. For the time being, Knipkamp, advisor to the imperial arms control, coped with his complexes, although his project of an automatic cannon that fired flat disc-shaped projectiles at one time frightened the management of several heart attacks (eyewitnesses said that the current model most resembled a mad dishwasher, and water cooling the barrel , which gave clouds of steam, only aggravated this impression). Therefore, unsuspecting chief designer Erwin Aders instructed the engineer to design the chassis. It is said that after seeing the first sample, Aders ate two packs of validol. Then he hid his three engineers in the office of the strongest, put his personal P-38 in his jacket pocket and called Knipkamp for an explanation.
- What's this? - the hands of the Chief Designer noticeably trembled.
“Experimental model of a new progressive chassis,” the unhealthy shine in the eyes of the engineer frightened Aders to such an extent that he forgot about the gun.
- But why four rows ??? !!!
- Because! So! It is better! Smooth! Go - catching hysterical notes in the designer's voice,
the engineers in the closet quietly fainted.
- But in a month we have to rent a car! - groan Aders, wondering whether to send him to a concentration camp, or immediately shot.
“Everyone will be delighted,” Knipkamp assured him.
I must say that after the display of the second sample, the arms control decided not to take risks and commissioned the development of a heavy tank to Porsche too. Fortunately for the anti-Hitler coalition, Porsche had his own cockroaches in his head. Ferdinand Porsche was very fond of all kinds of electrical gadgets, so he chose not a primitive Maybach as an engine for his monster, but built a whole chain of a gasoline engine, a generator and an electric motor. In order for the picture to be complete, it should be added that each of the driving wheels was supposed to have its own electric motor, therefore the total number of engines and generators in the tank reached six. According to rumors, after the presentation of the project, part of the company's employees, which is smarter, volunteered to the Wehrmacht and, terribly pleased with themselves, went to Poland. The most intelligent fled to France and became members of the Resistance. Meanwhile, Germany attacked the USSR. In early July, Porsche and Aders were urgently called to Kummersdorf. Right by the car, they were met by Guderian, who had flown in from the front for half an hour, and, tenderly embracing him by the shoulders, led him into some kind of hangar.
- Well, gentlemen, what do you say to that? - Heinz's voice could be spread on bread instead of jam.
- Donnerwetter! - Aders sat where he stood, and Porsche grabbed his heart.
In the middle of the hangar stood a sooty monster without caterpillars, with armor that resembled a lunar landscape.
- What is it? - hoarsely Porsche.
- It? - Guderian's voice was sweeter than saccharin. - Ooo, it's a very interesting thing. This is a Russian heavy tank. Half of the 6 Division fired at him, and he stopped only when he ran out of fuel. There was a tantrum with Leeb ... And now !!!!
The temperature in the hangar dropped ten degrees, Aders looked longingly at Manstein's eyes ... Guderian pulled Speer and Todt. He broke out and yelled
- Arsch mit Ohren !!! These four years Bierfickeren make toilets on tracks and call them heavy tanks! Mit solchen arschloecher werde ich bald fertig! Todt, bitch, let me go, I'll tear them arsch! While the German people under the leadership of the great Fuhrer ...
With these words, Todt and Spee made Heil Hitler, releasing Guderian at the same time, and he kicked the designers a little. Charter, he straightened his uniform and said: So, Arschlochen. Russian tank you saw. If in six months my eagles are not the same, only better, I will tear both of you to Eier. Or not, I will call Himmler and say that both of you are hidden Jews.
Designers wiped the bloody snot and made conclusions. The work went at an accelerated pace. Very soon, it turned out that the promising 75-mm gun that was to be mounted on the Aders tank was, of course, a very good weapon, but it has a somewhat exotic armor-piercing projectile containing 1 kg of tungsten. Wolfram in Reich was such a strategic raw material that the gun designers were immediately sent to the Eastern Front, and Aders had a very unpleasant conversation with Grandfather Muller. I had to go to Porsche and beg for a spare tower from him. In this tower stood 8.8 cm tank gun, which in the previous life was anti-aircraft gun. It was a very powerful weapon, but the tankers more than once noticed that it was over the battlefield to appear to the enemy plane, as the Tiger inexplicably began to pull up the barrel and twist the tower. 20 April 1942. One sample from each company was brought to Hitler’s headquarters in East Prussia. Already when unloading, the brave Porsevtsy thrust their tank into the ground. The cunning Henszhelevets unloaded their 70-ton crane, which caused an attack of inexplicable anxiety among the tank crews present, especially the technicians. The tanks showed Hitler and he immediately awarded Porsche with the Cross for military merit. After that, the tanks traveled a bit. Porsche Tank went quickly, but, turning, laid the turns wider than the "Lancaster". Henschel's tank went slower, but it turned around. It is true that the engine he had heated so that he had to rinse with liquid nitrogen. For further testing, tanks were taken to the landfill in Burke. The electric transmission of the Porsche tank was constantly failing, the plugs were constantly knocked out, the fuses were burning and the insulation was burning from the tank. After inspecting the Fuhrer again approached the designers.
“Ferdy, what's the engine on your tank?” - Fuhrer gently patted on the shoulder of his pet. Porsche began explaining his electric transmission system. The Fuhrer slightly changed in the face.
- Electric? Ferdy, did you have a roof? Yes, on your elephant batteries in the whole of the Reich will not save enough? What is his stroke range? 50 km ??? And then what, the charging station to him customized? Ah gasoline engines? FERDINAND, WHAT ARE YOU IDIOT ??? Two engines on the tank ??? Not two? SIX??? Give me the carpet!
The Fuhrer gnawed the rug brought by the adjutant, calmed down a bit and gave his handkerchief to the sobbing Porsche:
“Well, don't cry, anyway, I love you.” That you just overtired. Take a trip to the Alps or Paris, take a rest, and then I'll give you another thing, I have one idea ... "Little Mouse" is called - the Fuhrer chuckled and went up to Aders.
- Well, sir, what have you got here ... IS THAT WHAT ???
“Rollers,” Aders reported with hysterical vigor.
- I see that the rollers! Why four rows!
- For a better ride! Developed by our engineers under my supervision! The fruit of the Aryan genius! Allows the tank to shoot on the go!
- And before that, it was impossible to shoot? - puzzled asked the Fuhrer.
Aders knew very well that a tank could shoot even on the move, even in the fall, even if it was turned upside down, there would be a shell in the cannon. Because shooting and hitting are fundamentally different things. But it was too late to back down:
- It is impossible, my Fuhrer! When a tank bounces on the move, the projectile can twist in a cannon!
Since, to all the tankmen present at the conversation, Aders had previously bored well and promised to otmazatsya from the Eastern Front, they confirmed the words of Aders in chorus and the tank was put into service. From that moment began the misadventures of allied tankers and German repairmen, but that’s another story ...
The first four Tigers were produced by August 18 1942. Hitler immediately set out to send them somewhere to war. It was a long time to get to Stalingrad, in Africa Rommel drove the British with a towel, so it was decided to send tanks near Leningrad.
“Imagine,” the Fuhrer chuckled. - Sit Russians, and here - ONCE !!!
Tankers had their own opinion, but only Guderian expressed it:
- But my Führer, firstly, there are Russian swamps there ...
- So what?
- Uh-uh, how to say so ... Tank - it is very heavy. Accordingly, if he goes through the swamp, it can get stuck.
- But the Russians drive!
- Russians are children of nature! They eat moss, sleep under the open sky, know all the paths and drag
their tanks on hand. And then, is it not better to wait a little for two months and RRAPZZ - to enter a hundred Tigers in Moscow?
The Fuhrer defiantly ate a little palace and Guderian admitted that he was wrong. Four tigers were sent near Leningrad. Tigers, in principle, were not stupid animals, so already in the first attack, two of them had a sharply broken gearbox, and the third one caught fire. The tanks were towed to the rear, after which the specially arrived Gestapo officers showed them pictures of the work of the press for processing scrap metal at the Krupp plant. Tigers convulsively swallowed and said that the conclusions were made.
The next attack was in two weeks. Tigers handed 170 Infantry Division. The division commander was scratching his head for a long time, wondering what to do with four elephants. The tigers, in front of which the picture of the working press stood before them, expressed in their wholeness their uncompromising determination to crush and crush.
“Dingsda of some sort,” he said at last. “Okay, go down that path.” What you find - you can crush. Our kind there is not. If you enter Petersburg, call me.
- And the infantry? - timidly asked one of the Tigers
- What is the infantry? What are you talking about? - the division commander indignantly indignant.
“Yes, we are about nothing,” the Tigers dropped and, encouraging each other, drove along a narrow path in the middle of the swamp.
On that day, the hungry Russian artillerymen were especially angry - the shag at the position had not been delivered for a week already. When the commander of the anti-tank battery saw four huge tanks moving along the road, he did not, as expected, run around in circles and shout: "We give up! Right now we will only shoot the commissars!" Instead, he spat out a goat's leg, in which, instead of a shag, a motel was wrapped in half with a straw and with the words: “Everything, kozzles, you dokokrekalis” personally rose to the panorama. First Russian Tiger simply knocked down. The other three were not ready for this turn of events and panicked. As the Russians continued to shoot, they quickly broke down and pretended to be dead. At night, they were dragged in tow. From the remaining dead Tigris Russian scouts screwed everything they could for souvenirs. Souvenirs selected in a special department and sent for further study. A little later, the number of Tigers near Leningrad was brought to seven. In response, the Russians killed five of them, although the Germans themselves claim that the three Tigers committed suicide solely out of contempt for the Russians. After killing the first Tigris, Soviet soldiers walked around for a long time and scratched their heads, until someone offered to send the carcass to Comrade Stalin.
After reviewing the Tiger, Comrade Stalin gnawed up the phone and called Designer Kotin from Tankograd.
- Tavarysch Kotyn, what do you say to that?
- ... your mother, he said, - the most intelligent Joseph Yakovlevich.
- Budam schytat, cheto vi said it about Adolf Hitler, - the Leader smiled wisely.
Kotin grabbed the tank from the tracks to the muzzle brake and gloomily stretched out before Stalin.
- In general, Comrade Stalin, one of two things is either a mutant or ...
- What "either"? - gently encouraged designer Comrade Stalin
“Or - full zvizdets,” said Kotin firmly, who knew perfectly well that he would not be shot exactly by the end of the war.
- How gavaryl tavarysch Lannyn, such a star’s star, who would be a ne perezvizzdely balshevyki.
- We will try, Comrade Stalin, - the designer stretched.
“Of course you will,” the Leader said without any accent, and Kotin understood that the jokes were over.
Meanwhile, summer was inevitably approaching. The German command was preparing to suddenly cut off the Kursk ledge. The Soviet command was preparing suddenly to stop it. In complete secrecy, the Germans concentrated enormous forces on the bases of the protrusion. The Russians diligently pretended that they didn’t know anything about it, and they were digging trenches just like that, for nothing to do. Schools of thirty-fours crawled to the front line at night, lying in the ravines during the day. Those that came across the eyes of German aerial reconnaissance took the most carefree look, frolicked, chased each other and tried to look as unsuspecting as possible.
By the beginning of the Oryol-Kursk operation, which the German command, who already had an idea of the level of awareness of the enemy, called the “Citadel” with grim humor, 146 tigers had slipped to the Kursk Arc. On the night of July 5, the command of the Central and Voronezh fronts ordered to shoot a little at the positions of the German troops - just to hint that everything is ready and you can begin. The Germans, for some reason, started with some delay. German tanks went to the Soviet position. The Tigers were crawling in the front row, unusually proud of the honor they had been accorded. At first, the honorable task of slaughtering German armored animals was assigned to anti-tank artillery and infantry. Despite the losses, artillery and infantry more or less coped with the task. The treacherous Soviet artillerymen, knowing that the Tigers' armor was impenetrable, got the hand to shoot the poor little animals with anything that stands out beyond the limits of the armored corps - from guns to long-suffering rinks. In addition, the Russians used the vile and depraved tactics of "flashing guns". To do this, a few guns loomed in the hills and, seeing the Tigers, they began to wink at them unbridledly with a panorama, inviting them to set down the bed and generally attract attention. When the gullible German tanks rushed to meet them, a whole crowd of anti-tank cannons tumbled out of the bushes and with a shout: "And who is crawling to honest women!" arranged an ugly fight.
The Russian infantry, in a tricky way, maneuvered around the tanks, hiding, now being and seizing the moment, in order to put a bunch of grenades or a bottle of gasoline on the lid of the engine compartment.
Unusual difficulties were delivered to the Germans by the so-called impudent mining. In the midst of the offensive, the shabby Russian truck suddenly stopped in front of the German tanks that were attacking, and several unshaven personalities of a reprehensible type began busily digging something into the ground right on the road.
“Hey, hey, what are you doing there,” cried the head Tiger indignantly
“You don’t see something - we are doing road works,” the older Russian replied brazenly, continuing to dig neat holes.
- And what are you then digging into the ground?
- I do not know. We were ordered - we bury.
- It's outrageous! We, by the way, are advancing here! We have a schedule! We have to go to 12: 30 to the village, as it is called ... "Burning".
- And we have a plan. To 12: 15 to dig forty holes.
- We will complain! Who is your commander?
“Military secret,” the Russian sappers replied sarcastically.
- Well, all right, guys, let's make it good. Is there a detour here?
- Of course there is. Look for that baloque, - somehow Russian agreed too quickly.
Tigers left in the indicated direction only to return in half an hour:
- You guys are what? It is also impossible! There are some mines! Dietrich, out, blown up!
“Oh, guys, forgive me,” crystal clear tears of remorse drew into my eyes the Russian sapper. - Again, we have something to crack. In any case, we finished here, so you can safely go.
- Break a leg! - shouted Russian sappers, getting into the truck.
- To hell! - Tigers answered in unison
“To him, to him, darling,” the Russians muttered, turning for the nearest hillock.
Nevertheless, the moment came when the Soviet tankers had to go on the offensive, and here the Tigers finally turned around. A typical tank battle between the thirty-three and the Tigers was as follows.
“Something is somehow quiet,” said the Soviet commander concerned.
- BAMMMM !!!!
“Oooh, your mother,” said the Soviet tank crews, getting out of the broken tank.
“Oooh, oh, my mother,” said the thirty-four who survived, saying who was hiding.
The tigers on the horizon were rather grinning. It quickly became clear that the mighty tank attacks, which had been able to work with great difficulty before, were now completely impossible. Especially our tankers resented the fact that the Tiger does not break through not only into the forehead, but also into the board.
“It’s not fair at the end of the convoy,” they shouted to the Tigers. - Where are you then tamper?
- And nowhere, - mockingly laughed Tigers. - We are like all of you.
Our only need was to gnash our teeth.
When Zhukov gave a report on the results of the Battle of Kursk to Comrade Stalin, Comrade Stalin almost swallowed the phone:
- Tavarysch Zhyukov, vi, kanechna, kammunyst, but god paboites! What are six hundred padbyty mounds?
“Well, of course, here we exaggerated a little ...” Zhukov sighed. - Eighty pieces we hit.
- And our fallen paddy?
- You will not beat?
“I won't,” said the leader without an accent, and Zhukov silently put another sheet in front of him.
“Uh-huh,” the leader grunted, ramming the tobacco in the pipe. - How do you explain this, Comrade Captain?
- Well, so we, that, that, and they, that, that ... - the brave tankman answered.
“Their tanks are more powerful,” Zhukov translated.
- As far as I heard, tanks with tanks do not fight! - instructively raised a finger Stalin.
- It is, of course, true, but sometimes that way! - objected Captain.
“It happens in every way,” Zhukov translated. - And when this “in every way” does happen ...
“You know, comrades,” Stalin began thoughtfully, “when Comrade Stalin was in Turukhansk exile, he once went to the bear ...”
Zhukov and Captains look skeptical
“And so that you know, comrades,” Stalin continued, pretending that he did not notice anything — the most difficult thing at the same time is to lure the bear out of its den. While he is in the den - hell get it ... But if you lure ... In general, comrades, it is more flexible. To lure the fascist beast from his lair, and even better - to lure into ours! Clear?
- Yes sir!
Actually, the units have already come to the same conclusions. Wall-to-wall fights with Tigers quickly became unpopular, instead all sorts of Asian tricks went into action. For example, near Kharkov, tankmen of the 1 th mechanized corps used the following tactical method: Tiger (reads from the phrase book): Polye is clean! Tash, don't you give me a poet? Vyhoti plague Russian tank for a fair fight, on the b .. c ... c ... backdated!
T-70 (from the bushes): Well, my, sho say you say that? Shobi vi knew, tanks with tanks do not fight. Tanks are fighting with the infantry, I apologize. And you see all the time you climb to us ... We know what, tanksexual?
Naturally, from such insults a tiger broke the tower and he rushed into the bushes to deal with the abusive ... And he left the tower for real. In another place, T-34 with the inscription: “Tank of the Hero of the Soviet Union, twice a Jew of the Soviet Union of Moses Abramovich Finkelshtein.” Fascists, I apologize, are homosexual. Despite the fact that the inscription was completely false (the tank commander was actually called Yevgeny Solomonovich Rabinovich, he was an ordinary Jew and the GSS at that time had not yet become, and even not many fascists were homosexuals), the brave tanker managed to lure into a minefield two Tigers. An interesting trick used once tanker Peter Heroes. Caught, by chance, alone with the Tigris, he began to drive very quickly around him. The tiger began, respectively, to turn the tower, trying to get impudent. The tank of Peter Geroyev rushed faster and faster, the Tiger tower was spinning faster. Then she suddenly stopped, the Tiger commander got out of her, got on all fours, after which he vomited violently. The rest, as it turned out, vomited right in the tank. However, the most effective is the indirect defeat of the Tiger battalion near Fastow. The battalion was transferred to the front to eliminate the breakthrough. Before reaching the front line, the Tigers saw a broken German column. In the middle of the rout, a pillar hammered into the ground stood on which the note was white: "They broke through the front line, now we are wetting you, goats, in the outhouse. If not weakly, we are waiting for you at 235.7 height. Two hundred Russian tanks." Having traveled twenty kilometers, and dropping two malfunctioning vehicles on the road, the Tigers found a crushed German battery at 235.7 and a new note: "They were waiting for you, they were waiting for us, we were in the village of Killed. We’ll wait for you there if you have time. Two hundred Russian tanks" having traveled forty kilometers, and having lost four more tanks, the Tigers arrived at the village of the Killed. In the village, they found only a German car park, plowed up with caterpillars and the third note: “Well, you and Sykuny! Two hours waiting for you, pissed off! Straining the forces, the Tigers crawled to Fastov on the last drops of gasoline, leaving six more damaged cars on the sidelines, where they found the last note: “Gy-sy, are we killing you cool? The Red Army has already moved a hundred kilometers not two hundred, but only a hundred! " The remaining tigers committed suicide from shame and distress.
Nevertheless, the Tigers were an extremely dangerous opponent, but, fortunately, they still had one weak point. This place was their running gear ... Do not count the epithets with which the brutal German mechanics awarded the engineer Knipkamp, changing the rollers on the monstrous colossus. Since it took up to a day to replace a single rink from the inner row, many could not stand it, let the foam out of their mouths and rushed at the Tiger with a crowbar, banging on something innocent car for what it was necessary. It is known that tankers who fought on the Tigris until their death could not only eat from plates, but also see them. The appearance of a stack of plates could have hardened a warrior who had gone through a Russian campaign and prison camps to a heart attack. The monstrous in size and cruelty fight between the officers of the Luftwaffe and Pantservafe, which occurred in May 1944 in the Drei Ferkels and Sieben Gnomen Bar in Berlin, a fight that caused three months of the failure of two Geshwaders and one Shverepantserabtelungs to fail for three months for a seemingly completely innocent joke. Drunk together with the pilots, standrtenführer, the SS sent on their behalf to the tank crews a slide of plates stacked in a staggered manner ... (The investigation did not establish the identity of the Standartenführer. The Luftwaffe officers in the hospital recalled that Otto called him Otto, ... They could not recall any more. However, everyone agreed that he reminded them of someone). As a result, tankers and pilots were separated with the help of firefighters, and the fighters did not even notice the thousands of American bombers that had attacked.
But, it must be admitted, the Tiger was very easy to manage. It could be managed by any crew member, and, in general, the position of a Tiger driver was considered in Pancervawe under-prestige. Commanders, wanting to shame their negligent drivers, said: "Well, you are a shoemaker! You only manage the Tiger." In addition, the Tiger had very powerful weapons, which allowed individual German tank crews to collect unimaginable personal accounts. So, for example, once the six Tigers 101 heavy tank battalion under the command of the SS obershurtmührer Michael Wittman in half a day destroyed three hundred Soviet tanks, which is approximately twice the cash tank fleet of the Red Army in this sector of the front. Not satisfied with this, the next day they destroyed another two hundred Soviet tanks, and only a sudden attack by thousands of Soviet tanks forced the heroes to retreat.
However, the Allies did not want to understand that they should, by definition, lose to such wonderful and formidable vehicles, and continued to advance and even sometimes destroy the Tigers. By 1 March 1945, of the 1200 produced by the Tigers, only 185 survived. Survivors after the capitulation were slaughtered according to its conditions.
It remains to note an interesting phenomenon that took place in the Soviet Union. The legend of the invincible and impenetrable German Tank is so deeply rooted among Soviet tanks that several T-44 even created a Historical Reconstruction Club dedicated exclusively to Tigers. They dressed in Tigers, painted themselves in German color, put German identification marks (admittedly, rather ineptly) and arranged reconstructions of battles with the participation of Tigers. It ended with the fact that after demobilization they were invited to Mosfilm and took part in the filming of many historical films, both in our country and abroad.
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