Military Review

Needle for invention is cunning.


How not to die of thirst, and at the same time celebrate a birthday.

It was September 1984 of the year. At that time I was a green sergeant of the Central Committee of the KGB of the USSR, the first year of service, in one of the northern provinces of the DRA, therefore, together with my dog ​​Buran, I modestly and meekly carried out our minroboznye duties. And more specifically, we escorted from the border to our base - to the motorized non-evolving group (MMG), a convoy with cargo for MMG needs.

Because of the heat, the mountain-desert landscape on the route, our BTR-iron (Iron - the first BTR in the GPP (head marching outpost)) "drank" all of his and our water.

Nobody has water in the crew, well, almost none. And this “almost” is me. I have a third flask of hot drinking water, but this is not for me, but for the dog, and then not to drink, but just wet my nose so that it does not dry out, so that the scent does not disappear at all. Because there is one more pass ahead that we will sniff - from this side 2 km ascent (the dog will pass 4-6 km in zigzag), the descent is shorter and more abrupt.

And we would rather like to get over this pass because there is a small aryk on the other side of the pass, at its foot. The water in this watermark flows all year round and is always cold. It can be poured into radiators, you can swim, only you can not drink it, it is bitter-salty, like in the sea! But still, with this water we filled all the containers available on board, for such water is better than none at all and moved towards the place of the overnight stay of the column.

At the place where the columns spent the night, we chewed dry nuts and went to bed. My shift to the service fell, of course, in the second half of the night. Having run up during the day in the heat, I got a little exhausted and just lay down, so I immediately disconnected and .... I see: I am on the armor of an armored troop-carrier in zero camouflage on familiar courtyards of my city, at the porches of my grandmother are sitting, in the front gardens there are flowers smelling sweet, in general, everything is extremely beautiful and soulful. Suddenly, a friend of a girl jumps out of the entrance, takes off onto the armor, kisses me on the cheek, gives a colored postcard and congratulates me on my birthday!

I open my eyes ... EPRST! Around the night, I lay on a vest all covered in dust under an armored troop-carrier (the safest place to spend the night on level ground). And not the girl kisses me on the cheek, but Buraha pokes his dry, rough nose, my grandfather stands by the call and invites me to join the service, since my time has come!

Having recovered from the shock, I immediately declare to my grandfather that today, it turns out, I have a birthday and it should be noted instantly! They began to think about something to mark him or at least something to drink. And then a brilliant formula came to my mind. I remembered that in our BTR, in a box with suhpay there is an open three-kilogram can of tomato paste! And salt water from aryk + tomato paste + stir as it should = TOMATO JUICE! And a lot of cold tomato juice! Sample method established the necessary proportion for the ingredients and began to celebrate. That was a thrill !!! True Birthday! Burahe also mixed, he laughed the floor of his helmet and did not wince. The men from the crew got up in the morning, I also mixed them, and mixed them with the next crew. In general, celebrated in a big way.

By the way, since then I adore tomato juice, and that girl that jumped with congratulations on the APC became my wife.
So there!
Dear reader, to leave comments on the publication, you must to register.

I have an account? Sign in

  1. il grand casino
    il grand casino 26 September 2013 12: 58
    Most of all in the article I was pleased with this "and the girl who jumped with congratulations on the APC became my wife."
  2. kim. 230752
    kim. 230752 26 September 2013 13: 03
    The author is a Good Man. Loves Motherland, Wife and Dog. Health to him and LONG YEARS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. Gur
    Gur 26 September 2013 13: 15
    Good positive happy birthday story
  4. erased
    erased 26 September 2013 13: 24
    Salam, shuravi.
  5. Sosland
    Sosland 26 September 2013 13: 30
    Thank you, as if the sun had risen :)
  6. Alexey M
    Alexey M 26 September 2013 13: 36
    That's why we are not victorious! More such people.
  7. individual
    individual 26 September 2013 13: 41
    Well ... for life!
  8. Freelancer7
    Freelancer7 26 September 2013 14: 28
    Cool story! Thanks for the post!
  9. Black
    Black 26 September 2013 14: 48
    Goal is cunning, but the servicemen are even more so !!!
  10. starhina01
    starhina01 26 September 2013 15: 00
    thanks to the author urgent remembered funny times were soldier
  11. sellrub
    sellrub 26 September 2013 15: 00
    -26 qualifying.
    Hmmm .... BardElyuga in that part was concrete.
    He wasn’t talking about tomato juice, guys. He talked about the fact that the commanders in that part were weak .... unable to maintain a firm statutory order. The girl on the armored personnel carrier, ..... booze ...
    I am outraged that reputable information resource publishes the outright BAD of unbridled demobilization.
    1. yurij_k
      yurij_k 26 September 2013 15: 27
      You probably did not serve. Tomato juice booze? Your roof has gone. If he did serve, then in a household or somewhere else in a "sweet" place.
      1. tor11121
        tor11121 26 September 2013 15: 55
        right brother. how do you know that there is a convoy and its escort in combat conditions. what is army life. where there is joy and sorrow at all to the last. Thanks to the author of the article for the memories.
    2. serezhasoldatow
      serezhasoldatow 26 September 2013 16: 11
      Would you like to poke fun? Just a joke with a choke!
    3. history
      history 27 September 2013 02: 22
      And where did you respected served then? If at all served ... The birthday holiday in the service was simply celebrated! In the hospital, after hepatitis, carrots and peeled plums, and watermelon spoons, and clinked glasses ... some mineral water, some diluted glucose! Celebrated, congratulated and wished each other as soon as possible to write out and get off the diet! fellow
      And at the service as it turns out, sometimes just a weekend, sometimes a can of condensed milk! And sometimes, "Well, sorry, Happy Jam, of course, but we work to the fullest!"
    4. Old_kapitan
      Old_kapitan 28 September 2013 20: 43
      Schaub, you are dead.
    5. helen
      helen 30 November 2013 03: 04
      the girl was dreaming. Read attentively)
  12. PValery53
    PValery53 26 September 2013 15: 08
    Reckless bright history, a glimpse in the heavy military everyday life. Thank !
  13. oapvokin
    oapvokin 26 September 2013 15: 23
    Good, bright story. Thanks to the author.
  14. saygon66
    saygon66 26 September 2013 15: 48
    - Aha! And yet - to catch minnows in a fire reservoir, and cook from them ear in a bucket, on a blowtorch ...
  15. sellrub
    sellrub 26 September 2013 20: 52
    -15 qualifying.
    Quote: kim.230752
    The author is a Good Man. Loves Motherland, Wife and Dog. Health to him and LONG YEARS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I understand that a girl and a dog are one face. Good bride.
    1. 505506
      505506 4 October 2013 07: 17
      You are not a smart person. You are sorry.
  16. Ulysses
    Ulysses 27 September 2013 17: 57
    Cool story.
    I read it in one go.
    Thank the author a big one.
  17. Quiet
    Quiet 1 October 2013 12: 42
    and that girl who jumped with congratulations on the armored personnel carrier became my wife.

    Advice to you and love !!! good drinks
  18. naguss
    naguss 2 October 2013 04: 52
    Spit shuravi on all the spiteful critics. Thanks for the story.
  19. 505506
    505506 4 October 2013 07: 19
    Thanks for the story. Only in the service you learn what little things (by civil standards) you can rejoice.