Military Review

History and children

48



Dear forum users! I understand that I can cause the anger of some colleagues, in general, the topic is not military, but at the same time, all military people have children, and some already have grandchildren. In the end, we are all citizens of our country and we are not indifferent to the future of our children. Therefore, I offer to your attention a selection of teacher Sergei Schmidt. He is an associate professor at the Department of World stories and international relations of Irkutsk State University. This year, he checked the history of the EGE-2013. He published pearls from the works of schoolchildren. These are tasks of difficulty level “C” where descriptive answers are assumed. So these are the pearls of schoolchildren from these answers.

You can loudly resent the level of knowledge of children, you can laugh at some of the answers. But it is worth thinking about the fact that despite all the innovations in textbooks, they are trying to make some comparison of modernity and our history. Even if it goes on a subconscious level. So all is not lost, and you should not lament the lost generation. Contrary to all reforms in education, they think and try to reason. And they make simply stunning conclusions. And the task of parents to help their children. Tell them where they are wrong, offer them some books, even if they look in the internet, read them. Yes, just discuss these answers together, even if they have not yet passed these tests. What will your children tell you? Sometimes they say that they simply do not know what to talk about with children, they are so different from their fathers. Interests do not coincide at all ... So such a topic - a discussion of "pearls" is also very suitable. And it will certainly help you understand which topics you should pay attention to. Present your vision to children, refute the lies that they are trying to impose. Prompt, and what the authors "missed" and why some topics "do not see them point-blank." Your children will understand and support you!

About Ivan the Terrible (EGE-history, 2013 year).
"Ivan the Terrible stood at the lowest stage of human development."
“Among the oprichniki, Ivan the Terrible had authority. The rest treated him like a psycho. ”
"Ivan the Terrible did not allow people to lead a deviant lifestyle."
"Under Ivan the Terrible, on Bolotnaya Square, they chopped off their heads, and did not shout at all, which was horrible."
“Stalin could win the Livonian war. Ivan the Terrible was not Stalin after all. ”
"Ivan the Terrible loved spirituality, which did not prevent him from roasting the people of Novgorod at the fireplaces."
"Under Ivan the Terrible, no one would have saved the philosophical steamer either."
"Ivan IV from childhood did not like people, because of what happened mass executions."
"The best minds cut off the executioner Skuratov."

Nicholas I and his era (EGE-history, 2013 year).
"Under Nicholas I, society turned into a herd."
"Nikolai just wanted to bring order to the heads of the cast."
“The peasants also wanted to rebel against Nicholas I, but the Decembrists did not take them to Senate Square. After that, the peasants hated everyone. ”
"Hospitable Siberia waited for the Decembrists."
“The Decembrists are guilty of tightening the screws because of them.
"Chaadaev is a mental figure in the times of the reaction of Nicholas I."
“Thinking people always want something. But the authorities are not always enough for thinking people, because they themselves need to. ”
"Moscow University is the only place under Nicholas I, where you could carry anything, without fear that your mouth will be shackled."
"Everyone who did not want to be a gray horse, entered the Moscow University, because Chaadaev himself taught there."
"When social life is suppressed, there are only two consolations - vodka or Hegel's philosophy."

Soviet and post-Soviet history (EGE-history, 2013 year).
"After the civil war, the conscripts settled in the cities."
"Vykulachivanie peasants began."
"The peasants moved to the city because people were sent from there to the Gulag, that is, jobs, even well-paid ones, were constantly vacated."
“Peasants were lazy to work on collective farms. At the factories, they could have been forced to do at least something. ”
"Collective farmers fled to the city because there were more healthy men there."
"Khrushchev suppressed the slave uprising in Novocherkassk."
"The country was flooded with corn, but there was nothing."
“Grandma often tells me that Yegor Gaidar himself had to be shocked for his“ therapy ”.”
"The policy of money terror began in 1990."
“Gaidar transferred Russia to market rails. And Yeltsin, by the way, promised to lie down on them, but he did not lay down. Sold all foreign investors. Gaidar, by the way, didn’t get that much.

About brezhnev (EGE-history, 2013 year).
“Brezhnev had big eyebrows and a strange speech. He was an outstanding and amazing man, his actions served for the good of Russia and therefore we all love him and know him as a plump and more than a black man. He directed his activities in different directions. I would shake hands with such an outstanding person like Brezhnev. ”
"Under Brezhnev, faith in the authority of agriculture was killed."
The Prague Spring is a rebellion in the Czechoslovak Corps in 1918. ”
"In 1979, the Cold War began with Afghanistan."
"Brezhnev sought to disarm the so-called fraternal socialist countries so that they did not stab him in the back."

Six more masterpieces (EGE on history, 2013-th year).
"The Ottoman Empire in those days was aloof from drug trafficking."
"The military-patriotic backwardness of Russia manifested itself in the Crimean War."
"The policy of the king caused hunger and rabies of the population."
“As long as the peasant is in the community, he does not want to change the world.”
"The forced peasants worked more and did not have a social package."
"The landowners organized raids on the peasants, then the Bolshevik commissars joined this."
“Impunity attacks of the authorities on the population, imposition of bribes on the workers were committed ...”.

Top 10 about women in history.
“Princess Olga before her marriage with Prince Igor bore the name Beautiful.”
"Princess Olga was cunning, wise and holy."
"Elizaveta Petrovna was considered the first beauty among her friends."
“Elizabeth herself led the Preobrazhensky regiment to storm the palace, which was guarded by the soldiers of Anna Ivanovna. When it was necessary to run, her dress interfered. A pair of soldiers raised it and carried it on their shoulders to the end. ”
“Win a war and open a university, well, isn't it an indicator of the quality of government, especially women, which by definition is difficult to manage.”
"Elizaveta Petrovna pulled Kulibina out of poverty, in which he was drinking."
"From different parts of the country, people followed the education to the Moscow University founded by Elizabeth."
"I think that if Elizaveta Petrovna would have listened to her men less, she would have become as great as Catherine II."
"Despite her responsibility in the affairs of the state, Elizabeth led an idle life, which is why she died."
"This was requested by the empress peasant slaves."
.............
Do you think that you can only discuss "pearls" in history? You are mistaken! Sometimes it is worth paying attention to the knowledge of our children about everyday life! It turns out that the most elementary things passed by their attention. But maybe this is our fault? Do you do much with children?? Beat, paint, fix, and so on, and so forth ... well, judge for yourself. I quote in full the letter of fellow teacher Zoya N.

"A little bit of real-unreal stunning of the test full-time student.

I was wrung uncontrollably from the first part, I could not immediately check, I rested.
A group was writhing along with me, because they very much asked to read, why I feel so good ...

Glory to this student sunk gradually. At first they wrote a control, I didn’t check right away, I left the leaves in college. He was unwell during this time, and when I started checking for a pair, I was absent. I did not read the group completely, I left the intrigue, but they themselves guessed. I read it the next time, with the author. Everyone is happy from such "creativity" and asked to evaluate positively.

Question: The essence of pickling vegetables
Answer: Vegetables are taken and kvashut, for children and people without teeth. Any vegetables sour, even fruit and meat.

Question: The essence of salting vegetables
Answer: Salting is done so that vegetables can be salted.

Question: How and why are vegetables dried?
Answer: Vegetables are dried so that they are not wet and clean and tasty.

Question: The essence of sterilization, as a method of conservation.
Answer: Vegetables are sterilized from germs and all sorts of beetles, so that you can eat later.

Question: The main processes of industrial production of canned vegetables.
Answer: First they find a vegetable, then they pick a vegetable, then they peel a vegetable, then they sterilize it, then they buy canned vegetables at the plant, then they put the vegetable into a can of vegetables and close it

Question: What is natural canned vegetables? (In short - it is canned peas and corn)
Answer: Some of them make juice

Question: Juices and nectars - what is the difference?
Answer: They are made in factories and can add all sorts of nastiness. A juice nectar can be squeezed at home through a juicer and it will be delicious, but this is a completely different story.
................
Masterpiece!"

As you see, you and I have a wide range of activities to correct our omissions.
Author:
48 comments
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  1. Arberes
    Arberes 8 July 2013 07: 35 New
    14
    "The best minds were cut off by the executioner Skuratov."
    Then I look at the last 400 years full madhouse in the country?
    1. hommer
      hommer 8 July 2013 08: 16 New
      17
      Quote: Arberes
      the last 400 years full madhouse in the country?


      The complete madhouse began after the introduction of the exam (we have UNT).
      I read somewhere that one teacher had such a system for assessing knowledge -
      Knows and understands - five
      Doesn't know, but understands - four
      Knows, but doesn’t understand - three
      Does not know and does not understand - deuce

      The scariest ones on this list are threesomes. According to the exam, they are now receiving high scores.
      And thanks to the author for the article.
    2. Rus.tiger
      Rus.tiger 8 July 2013 10: 43 New
      +7
      "The best minds were cut off by the executioner Skuratov."
      Drives shkolota. Still left yes And there are many more fellow ... But they are not shown in the duroscope. There are only "creative" loafers and klovuns in it. Hence the sheer Petrosyanism in the answers and "compositions".
      Wean to work. To think too. Give birth, educate, teach, etc. not necessary.

      PS. And why did the Proton fall. ... ... what
      1. S_mirnov
        S_mirnov 8 July 2013 17: 39 New
        0
        Read the classics, everything was already once.
        http://demotivation.me/y71g7swps3twpic.html#.UdGbctiaTlc
    3. starshina78
      starshina78 8 July 2013 21: 20 New
      +3
      These are the fruits of education reform! When students are taught to stupidly tick off tests and questionnaires, rather than studying the subject in depth, as we were taught in the Soviet school. At that time, we didn’t put checkmarks on the exam, but answered a specific question from an extended ticket, wrote an essay, and solved problems. We were taught to reason logically, look for additional material on the topic, write reports ourselves (and not download on the Internet, although it was not). Therefore, now other parents are more literate than their children, who have just graduated from grade 11. The introduction of the American system in our education is a real diversion. Soon our children will be as dumb as the American peers, thanks to educational reform.
  2. sergey72
    sergey72 8 July 2013 07: 48 New
    +8
    "And the goldfish said - go to the forest, old man ...." from the writings of the victims of the exam.
  3. Arberes
    Arberes 8 July 2013 07: 53 New
    20
    But I would give first place to this "masterpiece"!
    "When social life is suppressed, there are only two consolations - vodka or Hegel's philosophy."
    1. ImPerts
      ImPerts 8 July 2013 13: 34 New
      +6
      There is also a third option - Hegel's philosophy of vodka hi
      1. Black Colonel
        Black Colonel 8 July 2013 14: 08 New
        +5
        Without vodka, all philosophy loses its meaning.
  4. bomg.77
    bomg.77 8 July 2013 08: 15 New
    +8
    What kind of teachers are these students. For events that influenced Russian history, they devote several pages, and for less significant events in a paragraph, so the mess in the head is not fixed.
    1. NUT
      NUT 8 July 2013 10: 01 New
      +7
      Quote: bomg.77
      What teachers and students are.
      "In the isolated intellectual world of the Jews, it is first decided what the historical morality is, and only then a suitable" past "is invented ..."
      Gilad Atzmon
  5. Armata
    Armata 8 July 2013 08: 30 New
    16
    Not the guys we have come to the complete insanity of young people (I always thought that this was a disease of the elderly) But we did it ourselves, with our indifference. Lena (Fidget) hello and thanks for this article. It is now more important than any weapon. Brains control and make machines, but soon we will have no brains left. Today I went to work and heard a conversation of two young people. There are a girl and a boy (it seems immediately obvious that he has slanted) in general conversation.
    - You like FGHJKLUGB (I don’t know and I can’t even pronounce the name of this group, what he said)
    - Well yes. This is better than Pelagia and Antonov. Let the dumb listen to them.
    I could not resist and asked.
    - Do you even understand what they sing in English?
    - And why, the main thing is the rhythm.
    1. dustycat
      dustycat 8 July 2013 18: 22 New
      +1
      And it all started with music on the bones. Back in the 1960s
      When the rhythm has become more important than words.
      And I recall the reprise of one artist about two tickets to ChuchU ...
      The year is approximately 1984.
  6. ia-ai00
    ia-ai00 8 July 2013 08: 31 New
    +5
    Yeah ... CHILDREN HAPPENED!
  7. Yarosvet
    Yarosvet 8 July 2013 08: 34 New
    17
    _____________________________________________________
    1. strange and pretty meaningless
      strange and pretty meaningless 8 July 2013 09: 18 New
      +7
      That’s all right - we don’t forget that Dillard Johnson is the most successful soldier in the US Army, writes Die Welt. A 48-year-old war veteran in his memoirs claims that during the Iraq war he killed 2746 enemy soldiers ... he deterred the attack of 44 Iraqi tanks and 20 thousand soldiers.
      To learn the lesson better, it must be washed down with Coca-Cola.
      1. Yarosvet
        Yarosvet 8 July 2013 09: 41 New
        +6
        Quote: abyrvalg
        Dillard Johnson is the most successful soldier in the US Army, writes Die Welt. A 48-year-old war veteran in his memoirs claims that during the Iraq war he killed 2746 enemy soldiers ... he deterred the attack of 44 Iraqi tanks and 20 thousand soldiers..

        And apparently only had a saber from a weapon? laughing
        1. strange and pretty meaningless
          strange and pretty meaningless 8 July 2013 09: 51 New
          15
          "Most, the commander of the special forces" Carnivores "writes, he destroyed with small arms, the rest were killed in hand-to-hand combat - with a knife and bare hands"
          Modestly silent how many tanks he LOADED, soaking armor with poisonous saliva. Gold does not need gilding. laughing
          1. Yarosvet
            Yarosvet 8 July 2013 10: 00 New
            +2
            Well, they say a lot, and then it turns out ... laughing
          2. dustycat
            dustycat 8 July 2013 18: 25 New
            0
            This is not the one about which it turned out that he was not a military man at all?
            1. The comment was deleted.
  8. Horn
    Horn 8 July 2013 08: 37 New
    12
    What did you want from the victims of the zombie box and the USE adherents? One could hear it before: "I read" War and Peace "by Tolstoy. And now: “I watched War and Peace. At best, they read comics. Without reading it is impossible to raise a literate person.
  9. Vanek
    Vanek 8 July 2013 08: 49 New
    18
    You probably know about the medals awarded to students. And you probably know about the situation with the flag. Well, there, instead of our white-blue-red, in my opinion the flag of Sweden or someone else. Do you remember? So here. I want to share the news I heard on the radio, not so long ago, on Friday 05.07.2013/XNUMX/XNUMX. And it was there like this:

    - Schoolchildren who received their diplomas were surprised to see that the Russian language is written with one letter "C".

    Reform??? First medals, then Russian language. What awaits us tomorrow? We’ll stick the plug into the ear, and we’ll be completely dull.

    Hello to everyone hi
    1. dustycat
      dustycat 8 July 2013 18: 27 New
      +1
      Serbia flag. Inverted tricolor.
  10. pinecone
    pinecone 8 July 2013 09: 05 New
    10
    The result of a deliberate policy of stupidity of the people, the level of intellectual development of which is driven into the framework of a textbook for Asian migrants already prepared for publication.
  11. strange and pretty meaningless
    strange and pretty meaningless 8 July 2013 09: 05 New
    +8
    Answer: Vegetables are sterilized from germs and all sorts of beetles, so that you can eat later.
    It reminded me of an institute story told to us, students, by the deputy dean. At the final state exams a dignity. - gig. of the faculty, the future sanitary doctor described the signs of fish spoilage as follows: "... the fish becomes nasty and slimy, her eyes fall - having eaten such fish, you can get sick with SYPHELESIS ..." So that's it. True, this was before the exam. The executioner Skuratov did his best in his time - so probably ...
  12. JIaIIoTb
    JIaIIoTb 8 July 2013 09: 11 New
    10
    Limited people are easier to manage. Limited people have limited needs. Yes, and do not mind them.
    Sincerely.
  13. ia-ai00
    ia-ai00 8 July 2013 09: 17 New
    +9
    I read the variants of answers to the question on the history of the Unified State Exam, which you, Yarosvet RU, presented, and all the skin, as it were, was covered with an ice shell with indignation. These answers were not "composed" by a CIA agent or a traitor to Russia. It is necessary to calculate such people in Siberia for the "enlightenment" of the brain, although Siberia is a pity ... to flood with all sorts of urrrrrrrrods, it is better to expel from the country.
  14. Standard Oil
    Standard Oil 8 July 2013 09: 23 New
    +7
    When you watch news releases, you’ll constantly have an idea that cannot be formulated, but now I know the answer to all news releases in Russia from 91 to 2xxx:
    “Thinking people always want something. But the authorities are not always enough for thinking people, because they themselves need to. ”
    Turn off the TV and understand:
    "When social life is suppressed, there are only two consolations - vodka or Hegel's philosophy." I would even say "Vodka And Hegel's philosophy."
    1. pensioner
      pensioner 8 July 2013 09: 45 New
      +4
      Quote: Standard Oil
      "Vodka And Hegel's Philosophy".

      In principle, true. But at the expense of Hegel, you might think ...
  15. Trapperxnumx
    Trapperxnumx 8 July 2013 09: 26 New
    +8
    “Thinking people always want something. But the authorities are not always enough for thinking people, because they themselves need to. ”

    Well yes. The way it is. It is enough to look at our "thinking creative intelligentsia" and everything becomes clear)))
  16. pensioner
    pensioner 8 July 2013 09: 40 New
    +7
    On the first point, there are no big complaints, in general ... As for the rest, it seems, too ... Except that the shackles are still not shackled, and Skuratov was chopping off his mind along with the container. Yes, with the "Prague Spring" they got a little excited ... And so, in principle, it's normal ... For me, when a cadet, when asked in a physics ticket about heat engines, loudly shouted: "Baths and boiler rooms!" fell. and a commission sitting next to it from the military fell. They let go with God ... In the sense of "good luck", they set it off ...
    And one shot SO about the capacitor replied that he put "CHOICE" on him and did not listen further ...
  17. Yarosvet
    Yarosvet 8 July 2013 09: 48 New
    16
    ___________________________________________________________
  18. Edward
    Edward 8 July 2013 09: 53 New
    +5
    Question: The essence of pickling vegetables
    .....
    Question: The essence of salting vegetables
    .....
    Question: The essence of sterilization, as a method of conservation.
    .....

    People, what does the answer have to do with it, if the questions are idiotic ?! (((

    If the teachers are not indignant at what is written in the textbooks, if they themselves are not upset, then what does the children have to do with it? ..
    - idiots are not children, and idiots are adults who teach children all kinds of nonsense.
    1. Fin
      Fin 8 July 2013 12: 52 New
      +1
      Quote: Edward
      People, what does the answer have to do with it, if the questions are idiotic ?! (((

      At least read the article carefully. What are children after 18?
      In my opinion, you yourself only grab the heights.
      1. Edward
        Edward 8 July 2013 17: 26 New
        0
        Quote: Fin
        At least read the article carefully. What are children after 18?
        In my opinion, you yourself only grab the heights.
        And you?

        Then tell me who said the following words?
        I was wrung uncontrollably from the first part, I could not immediately check, I rested.
        A group was writhing along with me, because they very much asked to read, why I feel so good ...

        Glory to this student sunk gradually. At first they wrote a control, I didn’t check right away, I left the leaves in college. He was unwell during this time, and when I started checking for a pair, I was absent. I did not read the group completely, I left the intrigue, but they themselves guessed. I read it the next time, with the author. Everyone is happy from such "creativity" and asked to evaluate positively.
        This was said by a colleague of the author of the article, teacher Zoya N.
        Question for you grabbing the roots (wheat):
        - who is the author of the moronic questions that this CHILD student answered? And who slipped them to him?
        1. Fin
          Fin 8 July 2013 19: 59 New
          +1
          Edward, let's first. Student, means a teacher of technological college. The term of study is 2-3 years. What a nah baby. The subject is approximately production technology, most likely the subject is profiling. Therefore, the questions are not moronic. It's like 2 + 2 for you. And this ram (student) should know basic things, because then he will be a technologist in production.
          Therefore, the group writhed.
          1. Edward
            Edward 10 July 2013 09: 28 New
            0
            Quote: Fin
            Therefore, the questions are not moronic.

            are you talking about the "essences of pickling and pickling"? !!!!?
            Question: The essence of pickling vegetables
            .....
            Question: The essence of salting vegetables
            .....
            Question: The essence of sterilization, as a method of conservation.


            You should not continue the conversation, because, apparently, nothing bothers you!
            Children are not to blame. Adults are responsible for children.

            I conclude the ridiculous debate on an obvious issue.
            All the best and every success in the study of the "essence of sterilization". hi
    2. dustycat
      dustycat 8 July 2013 18: 34 New
      +1
      Of course, I did not finish the Kalinar educational institutions, and I made a barbecue out of me and cook dumplings, but something vaguely tells me these are all ways of preservation.
  19. faraon
    faraon 8 July 2013 10: 05 New
    14
    At the end of the eighteenth and the beginning of the nineteenth century, it was said by one outstanding monarch (Germany) that a good teacher would win the war. I think this conclusion is correct, only a smart and competent teacher will teach our children how to analyze and draw the right conclusions. We can count teachers from God on the fingers. And another smart person said that the best and most profitable investment is in the education of the next generation, which will replace us. What is done in Russia on the residual principle. If in the first years of Soviet power all efforts were devoted to fighting illiteracy, then Now, starting from the nineties, on the contrary, it starts to produce results. A generation of nexts has grown up, which no matter how bitterly able to replace it, can replace its fathers. My opinion is urgently to reform the education system, return to the basic principles of teaching and developing adolescents. Raise the prestige of the profession of a teacher , including salary, so that he would think about teaching and not about how feed your family. And only then will it bring its results, which will restore the economy, will raise the country's prestige to a new level.
  20. papss
    papss 8 July 2013 10: 12 New
    +5
    About vegetables ... at the end it’s altogether awkward ... the words "day student" what is Hegel's philosophy to him? But, even more, the following lines confused ...
    Everyone is happy from such “creativity” and is asked to rate it positively.

    but this is already a herd reflex ... maybe, of course, not all are "smart", but general happiness suggests that it (happiness) is the same for all of them ... and all of them are not even educational, but intellectual capital pretty low. And please rate it positively - recognition of this ...
    Well, what can I say ... educate people of consumption ... we do not need creators ...
  21. Egen
    Egen 8 July 2013 10: 21 New
    +5
    Why, not everything is so bad!
    "The peasants moved to the city because people were sent from there to the Gulag, that is, jobs, even well-paid ones, were constantly vacated."
    - this is logic, these are brains !! Yes, this comrade must immediately give a certificate for thought! :))
  22. Max otto
    Max otto 8 July 2013 10: 35 New
    +7
    But not everything is lost:
    "Ivan the Terrible did not allow people to lead a deviant lifestyle"
    Here, in principle, the right thought! And what word is screwed in, I even thought a little.
  23. Black
    Black 8 July 2013 10: 36 New
    +7
    My wife brought me from school this year (it seems the composition of the GIA in grade 9, the topic is "Members of the proposal")
    "... members can be big and small, necessary or not, but they are all good in their own way !!"

    about 15 years ago, an essay based on the painting "Shepherd boy" (there is a shepherd boy with a whip over his shoulder, cows ...)
    "... and the shepherdess hung over her shoulder, like a real man!"
  24. yurii p
    yurii p 8 July 2013 10: 55 New
    +6
    complete victory of the shit, the more stupid the people the easier it is to manage, so this is a targeted destructive policy of the authorities.
  25. Tatanka Yotanka
    Tatanka Yotanka 8 July 2013 11: 10 New
    +7
    comrades do not despair, some pearls are quite successful
    “Grandma often tells me that Yegor Gaidar himself had to be shocked for his“ therapy ”.”
    “Gaidar transferred Russia to market rails. And Yeltsin, by the way, promised to lie down on them, but he did not lay down. Sold all foreign investors. Gaidar, by the way, didn’t get that much.
    “Princess Olga before her marriage with Prince Igor bore the name Beautiful.”
    - such a woman cannot be ugly
    "Princess Olga was cunning, wise and holy."- the most complete feature
    "When social life is suppressed, there are only two consolations - vodka or Hegel's philosophy."- award in philology
    1. Arberes
      Arberes 8 July 2013 13: 09 New
      10
      Tatanka Yotanka Good day to you, dear colleague!
      Quote: Tatanka Yotanka
      “When social life is suppressed, there are only two consolations - vodka or Hegel's philosophy.” - Prize in Philology

      I, too, fell for this phrase and that’s what I offer!

      Stop thumping ...


      His wretched intellect
      I could not understand one
      The schoolboy opened me horizons
      I could not even dream of them!

      The whole blame for the alternative
      He proposed it to the world
      With such a will to positive
      And it seems like a toilet to paradise!

      Maybe enough for us poets
      Under the onion with dill, eat vodka?
      Send my friend to the library
      We need to read GEGEL!
      1. Tatanka Yotanka
        Tatanka Yotanka 8 July 2013 18: 35 New
        +6
        Times Hegel Vodka
        Pushkin beer
        not too early for a schoolboy
        I admit, these philosophies,
        And I happen-
        What is going on in his brain
        Replacing paradise on the toilet?
        In his time about heroes
        I read books to holes
        The story is full of examples
        Do not remember Marx who read
        But he is a little bald
        All wine is “capital”
        Alas, your suggestions
        I can’t accept
        After all, only that poet in Russia
        Who can eat onions and vodka
        drinks
  26. Nayhas
    Nayhas 8 July 2013 13: 17 New
    +1
    Everyone is so distressed that the Soviet high school did not produce such pearls. In those days, such incidents were published in the humor section "From school essays."
    1. Edward
      Edward 8 July 2013 17: 32 New
      +2
      In the Soviet school, there could be ridiculous and ridiculous answers from students, but there were no WRONG questions.
  27. ImPerts
    ImPerts 8 July 2013 13: 46 New
    +2
    For starters, from the 7 class I would hammer it all.
  28. IRBIS
    IRBIS 8 July 2013 14: 53 New
    +2
    I don't even know whether to laugh or feel sad ... Although I have heard not such gems from schoolchildren and students. It surprises, outrages and encourages closer communication with their own children, so that they do not carry such nonsense. For there is little hope for a "general" education. To hell with them, with the exact sciences - this is specific, but the general development is visible immediately. And it falls steadily ...
  29. rudolff
    rudolff 8 July 2013 15: 51 New
    +6
    And I really liked some of the answers on history. Certainly robust and with a subtle sense of humor. It is a pity that the teachers did not notice this and gave it away like some kind of pearl. I remember when I was studying, I was forced to write an explanatory note for absenteeism. Fortunately, the mood was good, moderately hooligan, and I wrote. Began: This letter is filed ... And finished: I'm hitting with my forehead! Well, stuff like that. The director, when he read it, was filled with righteous anger! I have never seen such a blatant illiteracy in my life. I built everyone on a ruler and made me read this explanatory aloud, so that I felt ashamed. I read it, moreover, with the appropriate intonation and barely noticeable micro-bows. What started is beyond telling! The "horn" was such that the walls shook. The teachers themselves were holding their bellies. By the way, many of them then secretly and wholesale fives made me for this opus. And the poor director did not understand that then it was necessary to punish me not for illiteracy, but for arrogance!
    And I myself often use the phrase "to sunny Siberia", as well as "the hospitable North Caucasus."
  30. Djozz
    Djozz 8 July 2013 17: 58 New
    +2
    You look at the advertising and the name of stores in cities, mainly in English, or the English name in Cyrillic. After all, there is a law prohibiting advertising in English and other languages. So, and with history in the fundamentally western version of historical events.
  31. Djozz
    Djozz 8 July 2013 18: 20 New
    0
    EG can be left in the exact sciences, mathematics, physics, chemistry "here the foolishness of every ignoramus is visible to Buda". My personal opinion.
  32. dustycat
    dustycat 8 July 2013 18: 43 New
    +3
    Something tells me, after familiarizing myself with the four versions of the History of Russia, that I will have to compose a textbook for the child myself.
    Actually, my parents and relatives told me the story more.
    Because of which some of my teachers had hypertensive crises.
    And let the school prepare him for the exam.
  33. tank64rus
    tank64rus 8 July 2013 19: 44 New
    +3
    the "reformers" have already destroyed the school, Serdyukov has liquidated military education. Now we have taken up the universities and the Academy of Sciences. The impression is that they are acting according to a strictly defined plan for the destruction of Russia as a State.
    1. Yarosvet
      Yarosvet 8 July 2013 19: 51 New
      +1
      Quote: tank64rus
      the "reformers" have already destroyed the school, Serdyukov has liquidated military education. Now we have taken up the universities and the Academy of Sciences. The impression is that they are acting according to a strictly defined plan for the destruction of Russia as a State.

      And there is.
  34. Votsat
    Votsat 8 July 2013 20: 59 New
    +1
    Why, this is some kind of jockey, comrades crying
    1. strange and pretty meaningless
      strange and pretty meaningless 9 July 2013 03: 08 New
      +1
      Yes, to paraphrase Chatsky:

      - I’m no longer a traveler to Moscow!
      - I’m no longer traveling to Moscow!
      “I'm no longer a rider in Moscow!”
      - The carriage to me, the carriage !!!

      Once laughed with these jokes - now something is sad ... The weather, probably ...
  35. Captain45
    Captain45 9 July 2013 00: 41 New
    +3
    And I liked this: "Under Ivan the Terrible, heads were chopped down on Bolotnaya Square, not shouting anything." laughing But in general, it is sad from such results, and we are even surprised - what is it that our rockets are falling?
  36. rudolff
    rudolff 9 July 2013 01: 08 New
    +4
    The last execution on Bolotnaya was in 1775. Emelyana Pugacheva.
  37. sky17176
    sky17176 9 July 2013 12: 19 New
    0
    The collapse of the Soviet Socialist Republic and the independence of Ukraine.

    On December 30, 1922, the First All-Union Congress of Soviets approved the agreement on the formation of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics that had been signed the day before. The agreement was signed by four republics - well known to the general public of the RSFSR, BSSR and Ukrainian SSR and the much less well-known Transcaucasian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic (ZSFSR). The history of the Soviet Union began with this four - that same superpower, which at the peak of power was “fifteen republics, fifteen sisters,” as taught at school.
    Completed the history of an indestructible alliance - the three main "sisters."
    July 16, 1990 Ukraine adopted the Declaration of Independence.
    Now sisters and brothers have scattered wherever, and the USSR has become a good form to scold, ritually confirming the loyalty of "democracy." As soon as they call the Soviet Union! US President Reagan: The Empire of Evil. Margaret Thatcher: "Upper Volta with missiles." But can you call the empires of good Britain, starving millions of Indians, or the United States, who burned the Vietnamese napalm like bugs? And are there any “good” states in the world?
    We are an adult generation, one way or another, Soviet or post-Soviet people. Even those who consider themselves anti-Soviet and ultranationalist. We left the USSR.
    Present-day Ukraine is the successor of not the Ukrainian Power of the hetman of Skoropadsky or the Ukrainian People’s Republic of Petliura, not of the weak ZUNR, which was defeated by the Poles in a few months, but of the same Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic, which on December 30, 1922 became part of the USSR. More precisely, “Ukrainian Socialistically Radian Resp
    ublіki (USRR) ”- so then it was officially called.
    And the three greatest Ukrainian “hetmans” are not Sagaidachny, Khmelnytsky and Vygovsky, but ... Lenin, Stalin and Khrushchev.
    The first joined Donbass to Ukraine, destroying the Donetsk-Kryvyi Rih Republic.
    The second, thanks to the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact and the victory in the Great Patriotic War, grew Ukraine by Galicia.
    And the third - added to all this controversial good Crimea.
    Critics of the Soviet Union are left with fewer arguments. People see that even the most noble words mean nothing. Remember how recently criticized Khrushchev? For cramped. For low ceilings. For the lack of elevators. But does one of the “critics” distribute them for free today, like the Soviet authorities to ordinary citizens under Nikita Sergeevich? Any “little Ukrainian” would gladly take such a panel “two-piece” with a combined bathroom on the ball. Only the offer is missing. And the “turn” on apartments for the deputies of the Verkhovna Rada, who curse the Soviet past, for some reason remained - the people's elected representatives did not forget to preserve the social guarantees of the totalitarian era.
    Once Pavel the First, who hated the century of Catherine’s “eagles,” asked one of his entourage: “How to correct the evil caused by Potemkin?” The courtier answered: “Sovereign, return the Crimea to the Turks.” The same can be said about the "evil" of the Soviet era. If the good remaining from the USSR cannot be divided for the third decade in a row, if even the “pagan” and “fiona” enjoy the fruits of the Great Patriotic War, if the Crimean beaches, the Donetsk mines and the Carpathian slopes are not good just because they got from the hands of “sovit ", Then return all this, and return to the caches.
    So let’s - let’s not bawl our history. There were white and dark sides in it. And then in Ukraine they agreed that Bandera is a descendant of Jesus.
  38. sky17176
    sky17176 9 July 2013 12: 24 New
    0
    “Bandera is the new“ messiah ”of Ukrainian nationalists. Revision of religious canons
    It is distributed in Ukraine. Read it.
    Monuments are being erected to Stepan Bandera, streets are named after him, school books are full of panegyrics of Bandera and his “freedom fighters”.
    By the decisions of the Lviv and Ternopil City Councils, S. Bandera was awarded the title of Honorary Citizen of his cities.
    Actually, the decree on awarding Bandera the title of Hero of Ukraine for many Svidomo “patriotic nalashtovanih” is already small. They are swaying for more. “Bandera is holy, lyudin, yaku God is vibra for Ukraine” (Pavlo Movchan, from the UT-1 TV show). In Svidomo circles, there is an interpretation about the canonization of "Provincialism", that is, about the elevation of the Greek Catholic Church to the rank of saint. There were, therefore, appeals to her hierarchs, which, so far, however, were unrequited.
    “Docs” and “naukovets” took up the matter. A lot has been written about the Ukrainian character of the Holy Scriptures. Of the new “Svidomo discoveries”, it’s only curious that Stepan Bandera’s genetic relationship with Jesus Christ and a look at “providnikanatsii” as the second coming.
    The fact that “I will look at the genetics and culture of Diva Mariya and Jesus Christ blamed the Ukrainians”, and the Ukrainian. Mova was their “native, internal (hatny, mother's) mine”, our “Doslidnykams” were pretty well registered and became a common place.
    True, the question of the nationality of God the Father is still somewhat obscured. Here, apparently, our “Naukovets” believe, everyone who is Svidomo, if he is not a complete booby, must figure it out himself. Well, at the worst, if Svidomo gets quite a pair of boots, they will write: “We use the best words for the Bulosame people, as I say they are Ukrainian. "Tzemova Creativity on earth, mov, vyakіy is coded philosophical Vishchorozumu."
    In the question about the genealogy of S. Bandera, they use the nickname of the named father of Christ Joseph Panther, which supposedly transformed into the name of Bandera over the centuries, with references to the Jewish treatise "Avoda-zara", works of a Roman historian of the XNUMXst century. Celsus, etc.
    Here is what he wrote a few years ago about the origin of Christ S. Plachinda: “Jesus Christ of old Ukrainian righteously rightly shunned his blood relative from the mighty great Ukrainian tribe - tobto Rusin. The mother of Jesus Christ is bull Sarmatian, who’s just one tribe, fellow countryman, and the true father is the legionary Pandira (in the usual way Pandora) - from the world. ” "pass seldom. But Svidomo people were smart and, having read this, blurred in a contented smirk.
    Today, the “dashidniki” are no longer so secretive.
    And perhaps soon the balding head of "Provinikanatsії" will be covered with the halo of a saint, at least locally revered. And to the canonized Bandera no presidential decrees or their cancellations will be, as they say, not a decree. We will see?