Military Review

Regatta on rusted ships

78
Imagine countries and states by seagoing ships - large liners and small steamboats that lead an eternal desperate race on the seas stories.




A few decades ago, the largest and most modern ships were fascinating. Passengers walked grandly on the decks, there was a lot of food and drinks in the holds, and even the attendants breathed something noble. Our domestic ship was huge, but a little awkward: it simultaneously resembled an icebreaker and a large container ship. The crew was experienced, resourceful and brave. He could be proud of himself, unexpectedly for many, having made a sharp turn to the left, the vessel overtook many competitors, even trying to take him to the boarding, the terrible German was cruelly beaten. Of course, it was hard, and not everyone could later rejoice at the victory, but no one risked challenging this proud ship directly. And when a man flew into space directly from the ship, the spiteful critics nearly drowned. Everything is good, but the service on "Russia" was original. Judge for yourself: where whiskey and chocolate were stored on normal cruise liners, ours scored coal to the top. We certainly wanted to catch up and overtake, and leisure and entertainment were the tenth thing. While heroes were at the helm and in the engine room, nobody paid any attention to this, but they retired, and the children took their place. The crew, as before, tried to outrun the competitors, but didn’t tear too much, and more and more often envied them, because there life is more fun and diverse.

Then there was a riot on the ship. The felling was captured by the henchmen of the competitors; the inhabitants of the ship were announced that we would live like normal ships. They proved that we were not going there either, and now everything will be like on normal liners, and not like on this dirty, coal-smelling coal. New so this word was pleasant, that they began to call all their previous life, all its achievements, all navigators, first mates and engine mechanics, with the help of Arj. It was announced that the holds were freed from coal and everything else, and this ship was packed full of various wealth accumulated by many generations of hardworking sailors, fishing gear was given to other vessels as unnecessary, and in exchange our friends would give a barrel of jam and a basket of cookies. Still tricky competitors gave beautiful rags, beads, mirrors, bottles with beautiful labels (they turned the same tricky combination as with the savages - the natives of the islands). Although what they are competitors, they are brothers in the century!

It turned out that overcoming the storm waves, fishing, daily work on the ship, emergency gear - this is all for the suckers. The main thing on the ship is to eat, drink and have fun, and of all the works, cutting the sides with their further sale to neighboring liners was declared decent.

Life on “Russia” has become more fun. Not satisfying, not happier, not safer, but drunken and reckless. Suddenly, few lazy and rogues from the lowermost decks and dark corners povylazili to the uppermost decks and let's drive into the deserted holds of their former inhabitants - motor mechanics, radio operators, ship doctors and teachers - all those without whom the normal existence of the vessel is impossible.

And where is the captain, you ask. At the beginning of these terrible events, the muddy wave of the ship’s rebellion, decisive and merciless, brought him to the very top, to the captain’s cabin, who was not the most intelligent boatswain. There, he mostly tasted alcoholic beverages and still avenged his children's offenses against a large and beautiful ship. Well, he also watched that any bandit RIGHT had the right to rob his ship and its inhabitants with impunity. Another very important thing was that any rogue could pour mud on his ship and his logbooks.

From all this "happiness" the crew and passengers began to "throw nafig with a rotten pelvis", resembling rats running from a sinking ship. Any floating craft that would help to leave the ship in distress was priced at gold, and each of the "new upper-deck" had lifebuoys, or even a lifeboat, hidden away.

One of the key logging refused to obey the captain and began to naturally plunder and kill all those passing by. Many also seriously thought about the new riot. The ship was shaken by fires, no one thought to eliminate numerous leaks (if it were not for solid ancestors, they used to feed fish for a long time) the crew, who did not run up, stupidly thump or go out of their mind about the unreality of what was happening. To all the trouble looming ahead reefs.

The new inhabitants of the upper decks were, of course, mostly ugly personalities, but you want to live and live well. They understood that if the ship was irreparable, not all of them could reach other ships, the coveted airliners. And another big question is whether they need someone without their alma mater. They, in any case, did not have time to smuggle the valuables hidden and hidden in the cabins - it turned out that the reefs were very close, and our friends and competitors were pushing Russia towards a catastrophe under the vile giggling of the tugboats.

What did they have to do? Quickly they pushed out a little of the old man who understood the captain’s bridge and let an adequate person who wanted to save his native ship go there. He was supported by the entire crew. With enthusiasm, they began to patch the leaks, stealing from the ship became much smaller, opened the rebellious wheelhouse and "soaked everyone in the latrine." And by the reefs still slipped, and went into the open sea.

I wish I could stop at this. It turns out almost like in a fairy tale - justice prevailed, ours won and began to live - to feed (swim - sail), good to profit. However, during the riot and the pogrom, many devices disappeared from the ship, without which the ship’s previous course is simply impossible. The rest of the units and mechanisms are often no one to manage, because during the previous “policy”, the staff either degraded or “inflates sails” to competitors. It is necessary for the captain himself to lead the ship in manual mode. The theft has not gone anywhere, and the point here is not the captain. It’s just that there are no one to put on many “fish” posts, except for the recent inhabitants of the upper decks.

It was good to be a captain before - an excellent crew, only a renovated ship, a fair wind. The current skipper is much harder: let the lower ranks and for him, and what is going on above, only from the ship's logs learn after their declassification. As with the rebel felling it turned out, not everything went smoothly either. After the “pacification”, it was covered with gilding, and its inhabitants became too self-confident, and in the adjacent cabins some incomprehensible fuss is on. But tell me, was there an alternative? Is the crew ready, not so professional and numerous as before, to act differently, regardless of the inevitable large losses?

Well, the main ship is afloat, somehow, but we go further. Visibility is lousy, the waves are getting higher, the connection is working once, and the cards are damp for a long time. This is all sad, but we are in the regatta again!

Let's look at our "friends - competitors". And here they are, circling not far. They got lost! Wow, we, then, indicated the way, but they themselves do not know the way. The outlines of their ships have also changed: if earlier they were elegant cruise liners, now they are ugly, rusted, with peeling paint on the board of pirate killer ships. For the main thing they have previously the most elegant cruiser, now unsinkable (he thinks so) aircraft carrier "America". Predators rob and then send small boats to the bottom one by one, and they are clearly not happy that we are still afloat.

We cannot protect all victims from pirates, and they, unfortunately, will continue their plunder. But those little boats who manage to get under the protection of our sides will stay afloat. The most intelligent are already turning in our direction. Pirates, like those sirens, sing something about freedom and democracy, but, as they say, who can I believe, to my eyes or your words.

In the eyes of the inhabitants of fake liners, including our former ones, there is no longer any confidence in the future and arrogance towards us, they look intimidated. It turned out that they were fed and lived in debt, and not for their beautiful eyes. And the pirates, they are able to take away and divide, do not hesitate. And still rations are cut down every day, children can easily take away or what property. They are already threatening to throw it overboard if you cannot pay debts or pay for the rations.

Why, there are separate passengers - they recently forced one strangled boat to run aground, so it’s more convenient to rob (they set up our storage room at home, there was no place for it on the biggest ship in the world, so the pirates buried it and plundered it).

But the regatta continues. Gloomy, barely afloat vessels barely trudge in the ocean. It turned out our competitors, like us, finished off their ships. In recent years, they have not repaired them, entire decks have been sold to anyone or hitting, and to private traders after themselves, “at least a flood”, just to get some money.

Now, in the race, the one who does not force the engine wins, does not ruin a precious resource in search of a new victim. The aircraft carrier "America" ​​after each departure of the brave "evil fighters" is increasingly tilting on its side, its retinue from frigates to small boats, it is difficult to overcome small waves. They fearlessly drown another peaceful ship. I do not know how long they will hold out during a storm, but after it all will be calmer.

In this situation, the actions of our captain seem to me to be the only true ones — without abrupt maneuvers (or the corps may not withstand), not to get involved in risky maneuvers with “werewolves - democrats”, but to go with my retinue in slow motion. The pirates themselves, without us, will soon be drowned, their crews are not accustomed to extraordinary emergency work, they’ll yell about rights and freedoms in the water. Another thing is we - after the recent events we will not be frightened by anything and will not be surprised. Pull it all together.

PS I know for sure, like many others, that I can control our ship better than the captain. But at the same time I have a firm belief that I will drown the ship at the first gust of wind.
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  1. esaul
    esaul April 4 2013 08: 10
    35
    Bravo, SKIF colleague! A beautiful allegorical story. good My respect and support is a plus. Good luck
    1. ShturmKGB
      ShturmKGB April 4 2013 15: 10
      +3
      Good allegory good
      1. alex-defensor
        alex-defensor April 4 2013 18: 06
        +4
        1000 years later...

        "This legend is truth and truth, sung throughout the centuries and transmitted by our ancestors from mouth to mouth ..." laughing

        Offset the author, posted the article on VKontakte.
    2. Shurik34RF
      Shurik34RF April 4 2013 22: 56
      0
      Earth is not visible, but it is ahead
  2. Vladimirets
    Vladimirets April 4 2013 08: 20
    23
    "The aircraft carrier America" ​​after each departure of the brave "fighters of evil" more and more heels on its side, his retinue from frigates to small boats, with difficulty overcomes small waves. They fearlessly sink another peaceful ship. I do not know how long they will hold out during a storm , but after that everyone will be calmer. "


    About the aircraft carrier, I would develop the topic further: the aircraft carrier itself has long been rotten through and through, each subsequent captain paints holes with super-technological paint and hangs up problem areas of the board with slogans about moving towards a brighter future all over the world, like the captains of the ship "Russia" once did. In the holds, sailors sleep with each other, and obeying a senior officer and following the charter is considered a violation of freedom of conscience and religion. The crew of the aircraft carrier consumes so much that the home base can no longer provide it and he, in fact, is forced to live by piracy. But piracy is desirable with impunity, because in the event of an attack on a more or less armed galleon, the team will rebel and the captain will not be happy. Moreover, the aircraft carrier and its captains are very friendly with the governors of the Arabian Peninsula Tortuga. And this aircraft carrier is not very popular with many other lighter carriers, boats, galleys and tankers. And very often recently, "Russia" and "America" ​​have a hard time diverging on sea routes, they would not catch on the sides.
    1. Petr_Sever
      Petr_Sever April 4 2013 20: 34
      -5
      "Russia" and "America" ​​are hard to disagree on sea routes, would not catch on the sides. "

      Yes, God forbid, let the hybrid airliner and a lighter carrier still be heard on the waves, to compete with an aircraft carrier is an idiot.
      However, the former galley slave understands this, but for stokers and other decks
      say what they want to hear. And they knock circles in a cramped and smelly
      to the cockpit for the 100th time sinking a hated aircraft carrier ...
      1. Ruslan67
        Ruslan67 April 5 2013 02: 37
        +2
        Quote: Petr_Sever
        , to compete with an aircraft carrier is an idiot to be.

        I killed the 300th Merin with my Oka and drove along the entire barrel, and at the same time I had a scratch on the wing and the headlamps lost request And when analyzing the flights of ksiva to ksiva The same with America - drive on board and see how much time it takes to jump before all this drowns wassat
        1. Petr_Sever
          Petr_Sever April 5 2013 13: 46
          0
          That you better remember jokes about the unlucky driver of Zaporozhets
          and the 600th gelding, how many little brothers with bats jumps out after the ram’s door of the Merc?
  3. Reasonable, 2,3
    Reasonable, 2,3 April 4 2013 08: 20
    -3
    A little early coward prank.
    1. Reasonable, 2,3
      Reasonable, 2,3 April 4 2013 11: 43
      -1
      Guys, I freaked out. I didn’t finish the end. Sorry !.
  4. treskoed
    treskoed April 4 2013 08: 23
    19
    It seems that the propeller of the Rossiya ship has come off, and the captain, in order not to sow panic, hides it. The motors are noisy, the deck is trembling, the smoke is coming from the chimney, the illumination is full, the music is playing, dancing ... but the ship is not moving !!!
    1. Vladimirets
      Vladimirets April 4 2013 09: 10
      +7
      Well said, good
      1. sanyabasik
        sanyabasik April 4 2013 11: 15
        +4
        I correctly understood that the captain is the one galley slave? laughing
    2. Gari
      Gari April 4 2013 11: 30
      +8
      Well, the main ship is afloat, somehow, but we go further. Visibility is lousy, the waves are getting higher, the connection is working once, and the cards are damp for a long time. This is all sad, but we are in the regatta again!
      And this is the main point !
      Quote: treskoed
      It seems that the propeller of the Rossiya ship has come off, and the captain, in order not to sow panic, hides it. The motors are noisy, the deck is trembling, the smoke is coming from the chimney, the illumination is full, the music is playing, dancing ... but the ship is not moving !!!

      And the screw (mover) can be changed
    3. SlavaS
      SlavaS April 4 2013 11: 55
      -1
      The screw did not come off, it was sold and drunk a long time ago.
      1. sanyabasik
        sanyabasik April 4 2013 12: 53
        15
        And more and more Yablochko sailors, beloved by the captain, are dancing on the main deck ..
    4. avt
      avt April 4 2013 14: 22
      +1
      Quote: treskoed
      It seems that the propeller of the Rossiya ship has come off, and the captain, in order not to sow panic, hides it. The motors are noisy, the deck is trembling, the smoke is coming from the chimney, the illumination is full, the music is playing, dancing ... but the ship is not moving !!!

      ,, And what the boatswain told you at the meeting that our ship is not ,, Titanic "and ,, Varyag" .... " laughing Trofim has already described all this in verse cheerfully. So, there are no Citizens at the rate of Icebergs, only the Ivanovs are ahead, though if you try very hard then Icebergs can always be found ... "
    5. Snoop
      Snoop April 4 2013 14: 59
      -2
      I didn’t come off .. managed to drink and take a walk laughing
    6. brelok
      brelok April 5 2013 05: 51
      -1
      Quote: treskoed
      It seems that the propeller of the Rossiya ship has come off, and the captain, in order not to sow panic, hides it. The motors are noisy, the deck is trembling, the smoke is coming from the chimney, the illumination is full, the music is playing, dancing ... but the ship is not moving !!!

      I completely agree. not enough eyebrows and a brotherly kiss. Nothing remembers?
  5. svp67
    svp67 April 4 2013 08: 30
    +5
    Of course, an interesting move, only this "regatta" began on the "dugouts", continued on boats and drakars, and so on, into the flesh to the present iron ships. And the leader in it is the one who understands in time that his ship requires not just cosmetic repairs, but deep modernization.
    1. Reasonable, 2,3
      Reasonable, 2,3 April 4 2013 08: 35
      +5
      Not tired of doing self-flagellation? .By ........., or what ?.
  6. engineer74
    engineer74 April 4 2013 08: 44
    16
    "I know for sure, like many others, that I can better manage our ship than the captain. But at the same time I have a firm belief that I will drown the ship at the first gust of wind."
    Gold words! They must be remembered whenever discussing power! smile
    1. FC SKIF
      April 4 2013 10: 42
      10
      So it was because of them that the whole article was written
  7. USSR citizen
    USSR citizen April 4 2013 09: 04
    +1
    All that is missing is a small spark and the start of a fire, so that the vaunted "new" captain is not thrown overboard along with the new inhabitants of the upper deck (with whom he had time to INCLUDE) a patient crew.
    1. vyatom
      vyatom April 4 2013 10: 04
      +4
      Quote: Citizen of the USSR
      All that is missing is a small spark and the start of a fire, so that the vaunted "new" captain is not thrown overboard along with the new inhabitants of the upper deck (with whom he had time to INCLUDE) a patient crew.

      This is more true than the phrase below:
      Quote: engineer74
      "I know for sure, like many others, that I can better manage our ship than the captain. But at the same time I have a firm belief that I will drown the ship at the first gust of wind."


      While the wind is favorable and fuel oil falls into the boilers just like that, considering that huge dividends from the sale of surplus fuel oil settle in the holds of other ships. And to their crew members, fuel oil crumbs for heating and cooking are sold for a lot of money. Salaries are paid in such a way that the crew only needs to not fall from hunger while on duty. And something to set aside for the future is difficult in principle. You can take money from ship snails for a large percentage and buy yourself a bigger cabin, but you will have to give a lot more than this small cabin costs. In Soviet times, there was a clearly set flight task and all of it was strictly carried out. And now the crew giggled at the incomprehensible statements of the captain and went about his own business. Yes, it sometimes seems to me that the captain himself does not believe in what he says, unfortunately. Sometimes, in order to distract the crew from everyday routine, the captain dives into the sea and raises ancient Greek amphorae for fun. And sometimes a helicopter drives cormorants, so as not to crap on the deck. The start-up ship is controlled from an iPhone, also optimization and modernization. He saw this on other ships, but he still has not figured out how to apply it, but the trend is good. He would have more authority with the crew, but real sailors are not used to so far, so that ships are controlled by lawyers. Real sailors clearly know that a professionally trained skipper is required to operate the ship. But these were prepared only in Soviet times, unfortunately.
      1. seed
        seed April 4 2013 13: 15
        +9
        "The salaries are paid so that the crew only needs not to fall from hunger while on watch. And it is difficult to postpone anything for the future in principle."

        This is for the most part not, Black-stamped.
        Someone (unfortunately I do not remember the nickname of this worthy person), has already answered lamentations about the poor people - "after three in the yard there is nowhere to put the car, the beggars got sick." I am from Murmansk. We have the same way.

        Well, as for the captain and starpom: the captain is a professional navigator, I apparently bought a navigator diploma.
        1. vyatom
          vyatom April 4 2013 13: 30
          +4
          Quote: seed
          Someone (unfortunately I do not remember the nickname of this worthy person), has already answered lamentations about the poor people - "after three in the yard there is nowhere to put the car, the beggars got sick." I am from Murmansk. We have the same way.

          Take a ride in Russia, especially in rural.
          I myself am from Murmansk. And there is no place to park a car in Murmansk because the courtyards are small, and since Soviet times nothing has been built and not designed, and parking lots especially. And there are traffic jams on the roads because such features of Murmansk, where all the central streets go parallel to each other in the center. Housing and utilities in Murmansk is huge, and salaries are not always high. All products are mainly imported. Well, something like that for now.
          1. seed
            seed April 4 2013 13: 49
            +2
            He also visited rural Russia. The conclusion is different. Russia is a country of islands. Rich island, poor island ...

            And I live in a large courtyard (in the so-called bracket, well, you know if the Murmansk citizen). There are really a lot of cars and not cheap.
          2. Gregazov
            Gregazov April 4 2013 20: 05
            +1
            And I live in Novocherkassk. It’s impossible to park near the university. Near the cars are students whom parents bought cars to learn more fun. And I want to note that very rich students study in more prestigious universities and cities. So I do not share the mood about the decline in living standards.
        2. vyatom
          vyatom April 4 2013 13: 31
          +1
          [

          Well, as for the captain and starpom: the captain is a professional navigator, I apparently bought a navigator’s diploma. [/ Quote]
          Very controversial
          1. seed
            seed April 4 2013 14: 00
            +2
            A professional without a professional team, if you will.
        3. late
          late April 4 2013 22: 20
          0
          Your truth, everyone is crying - no money, no money! Yes, there is money, many are just used to moaning, and more often those who really have everything on the ointment, just what you have is already not enough. The three-year-old Ford car is no longer rolling, you need a brand-new Volks and so on. Slaves of consumerism, in a word, they would be in the Republic of Chad for a month, to return to reality, and at the same time shake the swollen fat.
          1. seed
            seed April 4 2013 23: 06
            0
            "Slaves of consumerism"

            Somehow we became unnoticed. But there was in my youth at school such a condemned phenomenon as "materialism". And now the tongue will not turn to laugh at this. What? Let's be American - "in life, the winner is the one who dies with a lot of money" (c).
          2. vyatom
            vyatom April 5 2013 10: 04
            0
            Quote: spat
            The three-year-old Ford car is no longer rolling, we need a brand new Volkswagen, and so on

            I can't afford Ford, let alone a Volkswagen. Although higher education, and went to sea. Only earned an apartment. So I do not agree.
      2. Setrac
        Setrac April 4 2013 15: 46
        +1
        Quote: vyatom
        Real sailors clearly know that

        The captain is ALWAYS right.
        And if the captain is still wrong, then see the main rule - the captain is ALWAYS !!!
        1. vyatom
          vyatom April 5 2013 10: 01
          0
          Quote: Setrac
          Quote: vyatom
          Real sailors clearly know that

          The captain is ALWAYS right.
          And if the captain is still wrong, then see the main rule - the captain is ALWAYS !!!

          Not always. There is also a charter and other regulatory documents. And abuse of authority is punished very severely.
  8. omsbon
    omsbon April 4 2013 09: 19
    +7
    And I liked the allegory! The author is well done.
  9. reading
    reading April 4 2013 09: 35
    +7
    Good article! Liked! It's time to remember on the upper decks about the "fight for survivability", otherwise there is no one to repair leaks and holes below the waterline in the holds, and there is nothing - everything went for sale and overboard. Something like this ...
  10. Swag
    Swag April 4 2013 09: 44
    +2
    Your words to God in the ears ...
  11. old rocket man
    old rocket man April 4 2013 10: 18
    0
    Beautiful, very artistic and heart-rending. It looks like a Sunday sermon in a village church.
    But, nothing new, a description of what we ourselves perfectly see and know, but nothing more.
    Reminds of a dissertation on the topic: "The influence of weather conditions on the color of wooden surfaces." Everyone already knows that paint peels off in the sun twice as fast. laughing
  12. sanyabasik
    sanyabasik April 4 2013 10: 40
    +7
    Me премиер the first mate does not like it ..
    and 13-room cabins for the captain’s lovers’ friends
    1. SIT
      SIT April 4 2013 12: 12
      +2
      Quote: sanyabasik
      I do not like the prime mate first captain ..

      The first assistant to the captain was formerly political. The prime minister is still a start-up. But he doesn’t need to give out commands on the iPhone, but to stand his watch as it should. She has it at the most shitty time, but for that he is also a start-up.
      1. bezumnyiPIT
        bezumnyiPIT April 4 2013 13: 22
        +4
        I would like to punish the former chief of the ship's security until he prepared a boat for himself to get to the yacht "London"
      2. vyatom
        vyatom April 4 2013 14: 27
        0
        Quote: SIT
        First Mate this used to be a political officer

        Read carefully. Not the first assistant, but the senior assistant.
      3. sanyabasik
        sanyabasik April 4 2013 15: 18
        0
        Quote: SIT

        The first assistant to the captain was formerly political.

        I have questions for him too
      4. sanyabasik
        sanyabasik April 4 2013 15: 20
        +2
        Quote: SIT
        The first assistant to the captain was formerly political.

        I have questions for the politician
  13. ausguck
    ausguck April 4 2013 10: 50
    +3
    Good tale. Only I would compare the well-known republic not with a cabin, but with a compartment in the hold. It seems to be nothing useful in it, and in general it’s of no use, but they can poke a hole in the bottom from hopelessness and anger and let the sea water all over the ship, but this is not gut .... yes
  14. Prapor Afonya
    Prapor Afonya April 4 2013 11: 12
    +3
    How subtly the author drew a parallel between the country and the ship, that not everyone will understand what is meant here! Well done!
  15. shurup
    shurup April 4 2013 11: 22
    +3
    "Notes of a Crazy Toilet", found this July 2034 in the air bubble of a flooded compartment of a ship that was firmly aground. The compartment was battened down from the inside.
    On the face of the mummy, frantically clutching the paper in his hand, a loyal expression was forever fixed.
    1. seed
      seed April 4 2013 13: 32
      +2
      Sparkling humor. The position is clear.

      Continuing the analogy with a ship (vessel), I will note that on any ship (vessel) the captain is the sole boss. His orders are carried out without question, on the face of his subordinates "loyal expression" is the only correct expression. Those who disagreed with the captain used to be allowed to walk on the board overboard or hung on yards in artistic disorder, tarred for better preservation. Now they just write off.
      1. shurup
        shurup April 4 2013 15: 05
        +2
        Locked in a cabin on Foros, the captain tried to imitate a riot on the ship by prior agreement with the assistants. But the part of the crew, entrenched in the tiller compartment did not allow to change course and propagandized the called guard. The chief mechanic drank vodka and, taking advantage of the situation and official position, arranged for the opening of the captain’s cabin and the return of its occupant to the bridge for the purpose of subsequent discharge overboard.
        The assistants, under the joyful hooting of the crew and the entire progressive world community, were put in solitary confinement.
        Glavmekh was unanimously elected the new captain and appointed new assistants, who immediately proceeded to describe the contents of the holds.
        Part of the crew, disagreeing with the lawlessness on board, left the ship in fourteen available small craft. They did not try to hold them, somehow forgetting that only a limited number of life jackets and two helicopters were left on board to evacuate the captain and the ship's cash desk.
        Then there was the shooting of the cabin company, the captain's change at the equator, the battles in the hot galley, double-capitals, the search for the surviving navigator and many more interesting things.
        1. seed
          seed April 4 2013 20: 31
          0
          Well, let's continue.
          At the equator, the captain was changed. More precisely, his assistants themselves asked to leave, promising to keep the captain's salary, a yacht, stewards and a collection of wines from the captain's cellar. Perhaps there were fears that the old captain, constantly in a state of altered consciousness, typical of drinking people, might release a destructive genie of fire from a sealed bottle stored in a captain's safe. And most likely, he was simply ashamed of absolutely everyone, even the most notorious pirates.
          And suddenly the old captain unexpectedly quickly agreed, and even the next senior assistant (whom no one even remembered on the account) appointed him acting captain.
          Many were really stunned by this turn of events, and when they came to their senses, I.O. the captain was already in full swing in the "hot galley", trying, and not without success, to reason with the presumptuous cooks. I must say that the coca got together as one on a national basis, the captain did not obey and ordinary sailors sent to the galley often shook them off to the fullest.
          Applying the knowledge gained in a special school for cloak and dagger midshipmen, the captain's ugly-looking IO quite quickly cooled the galley with a carrot and stick, soaking the most stubborn and promising the best pans and pans to those who would be for him.
          Consequences - the grateful crew almost unanimously recognizes him as captain, but the story is not over yet.
          1. FC SKIF
            April 4 2013 21: 39
            0
            Yes, here you can write a series laughing
      2. vyatom
        vyatom April 5 2013 10: 06
        0
        Quote: seed
        Continuing the analogy with a ship (vessel), I will note that on any ship (vessel) the captain is the sole boss. His orders are carried out without question, on the face of his subordinates "loyal expression" is the only correct expression. Those who disagreed with the captain used to be allowed to walk on the board overboard or hung on yards in artistic disorder, tarred for better preservation. Now they just write off.

        It’s immediately obvious that you have nothing to do with work at sea.
        1. seed
          seed April 11 2013 19: 21
          0
          10 years at sea. How old are you, smart guy?
  16. Averias
    Averias April 4 2013 13: 19
    +9
    And on this "ship" strange entities called Pokemon were wound up:
    Who hiding behind false words about words and plundered this "Ship".

    And then there are Pokémon who have changed their owners, although they shout into a megaphone, demanding for a "ship, free and democratic" swimming.


  17. Partizzan
    Partizzan April 4 2013 14: 01
    +3
    It's like the Yacht "Victory", which at the next start has a part torn off and now it is the Yacht "Trouble".
  18. IRBIS
    IRBIS April 4 2013 14: 11
    +4
    Well, the face of an old Pokemon! It reminds someone or something ... Either Babu Yaga from a terrible tale, or a bunch of cow shit on a country road ....
  19. silver owl
    silver owl April 4 2013 14: 39
    +4
    Beautiful article. smile Nothing, the ancestors built a strong "barge" - such that even after the sale of pieces of boards (high-quality boards, since they are appreciated in the world market winked ) She's afloat. A new screw set! in extreme cases, on the oars we’ll go rusty aircraft carrier, we are such !! laughing
  20. Tatanka Yotanka
    Tatanka Yotanka April 4 2013 15: 02
    +5
    They quickly shoved the old man who did not understand much from the captain’s bridge and let in an adequate person who wanted to save his native ship. He was supported by the whole crew.
    True, the same crew also actively supported the old man, especially he immediately pleased the two-chief power engineer who had previously served as the main storekeeper who distributed circles and boats.
    Especially a few dissatisfied were locked in the hold, replacing them with a whole team. I had to scrape around the bays and provide circles with boats and them, along the way, there were several yachts which we had not seen before. Since the sails were controlled poorly, it was necessary to pull the pipeline from the engine room directly to the yachts, the active ones managed to carry fuel with buckets
    Not getting the proper portion, the ship slowed down even more. The captain shouted back from the bridge into the shout, but the team sitting on the refueled watercraft said that it was an untouchable reserve if the ship stopped completely. The captain had no choice but to agree
    Once the rebellious cabin had to be restored, having appointed the rebel as the cabin captain and being guided by the prince “you can’t stop the booze-head it”, they handed the medal “for saving the drowning”, and dragged one of the yachts right there
    There were rumors among the passengers that the captain also had, if not a yacht, then the raft, on the grounds that the commander did not part with the oar, explaining to everyone that we were sailing only thanks to him
  21. Genoezec
    Genoezec April 4 2013 15: 04
    0
    Cool article, nothing to say! Very beautifully written!
  22. Snoop
    Snoop April 4 2013 15: 12
    +1
    It is figuratively and well written, only the end is too optimistic, the ambiguous end is more suitable, whether the captain and the team will manage to enter the fog strip :)
  23. Oshin
    Oshin April 4 2013 15: 18
    +2
    In this situation, the actions of our captain seem to me to be the only true ones — without abrupt maneuvers (or the corps may not withstand), not to get involved in risky maneuvers with “werewolves - democrats”, but to go with my retinue in slow motion. The pirates themselves, without us, will soon be drowned, their crews are not accustomed to extraordinary emergency work, they’ll yell about rights and freedoms in the water. Another thing is we - after the recent events we will not be frightened by anything and will not be surprised. Pull it all together.

    PS I know for sure, like many others, that I can control our ship better than the captain. But at the same time I have a firm belief that I will drown the ship at the first gust of wind.

    good hi
  24. Middle-brother
    Middle-brother April 4 2013 16: 13
    +1
    Although I do not completely agree with the author, the allegory is very successful and the parallel is clearly visible
  25. borisjdin1957
    borisjdin1957 April 4 2013 17: 28
    +2
    Well done author !!! Thank you! According to history, our ship flew more than once to the rocks. But God was merciful and there was no crash. Yes, and the team was hardened.
  26. I think so
    I think so April 4 2013 18: 46
    0
    Wonderful fable! That's just P.S. all smeared - some kind of flawed P.S. Does the author really think so self-inferiorly? Or lick z..d pulled the captain?
    1. FC SKIF
      April 4 2013 19: 04
      +4
      I ask without rudeness. And if you want to turn the helm - get a license, recruit a crew and go. Only if I get a sos from you, don’t expect help.
      1. family tree
        family tree April 4 2013 20: 07
        +3
        Article 270. Refusal by the captain of a ship to help those in distress
        Refusal by the captain of a ship to assist people in distress at sea or on another waterway, if this assistance could be provided without serious danger to their ship, its crew and passengers, -
        shall be punishable by a fine in the amount of two hundred to five hundred minimum wages or in the amount of wages or other income of the convicted person for a period of two to five months, or restriction of liberty for a term of up to three years, or imprisonment for a term of up to two years with deprivation of the right to hold certain positions or engage in certain activities for up to three years or without it. recourse
        laughingThen you have to step over yourself.
  27. avt
    avt April 4 2013 20: 10
    +1
    Quote: I think so
    Wonderful fable! That's just P.S. all smeared - some kind of flawed P.S. Does the author really think so self-inferiorly? Or lick z..d pulled the captain?

    Quote: FC Skif
    I ask without rudeness. And if you want to turn the helm - get a license, recruit a crew and go. Only if I get a sos from you, don’t expect help.

    ,, Citizens finish the massacre. To us already floats to the rescue. Led by the aircraft carrier "Clintan" is our native American fleet. This means that presentations, fashion shows, night shows and striptease will continue. As well as elections, auctions and demonstrations, in short, whatever you want for an encore. " laughing
  28. MY THOUGHT
    MY THOUGHT April 4 2013 20: 27
    +1
    I would like to have more analytics about the coming war, rather than thinking about the past and the future! everyone understands that without sharp moments it is necessary, but everyone is torn at the forum in Syria with America to "fight", fools, where the wind blows there and the dust carries what can I say.
  29. Dorofei
    Dorofei April 4 2013 20: 40
    0
    But, something our navigation equipment is taking the ship in the wrong direction, it would be time to help the new "FURUNO", pull out our old shabby sextant and look at the stars (Orthodoxy) and more accurately determine the course ..... thanks for the article.
    1. vyatom
      vyatom April 5 2013 10: 10
      0
      Quote: Dorofei
      But, something our navigation equipment is taking the ship in the wrong direction, it would be time to help the new "FURUNO", pull out our old shabby sextant and look at the stars (Orthodoxy) and more accurately determine the course ..... thanks for the article.

      Decided to hang out?
      Well, to help furuno, you can JRC or Koden to most likely. And few people know how to use a sectarian.





      1. Dorofei
        Dorofei April 5 2013 12: 08
        0
        Well, I decided I didn’t decide who closes my mouth --- aren't you? Here is an allegory. The whole article is written in this vein. Have you read the article? Sextan is the Orthodox Faith, I heard about this someday, but what your JRC or Koden mean is not clear. So you are making a show of yourself and not me.
  30. pinecone
    pinecone April 4 2013 20: 48
    -2
    Too many fare dodgers from former fraternal republics have accumulated on this torpedo liner. Throw them all to e *** not mother overboard, then it will be easier to reach the shore.
  31. AlNikolaich
    AlNikolaich April 4 2013 22: 48
    +3
    Weakly captain ship Russia controls! It is clear that the participants in the regatta on different aircraft carriers do not even hope for the strength of their aircraft, and they are not childishly afraid of piracy and boarding! And they look at the actions of the captain of the icebreaker with apprehension and respect!
    However, the situation on the vessel itself is not very good. There are a lot of unfriendly managers on the bridge with the captain who have leaked from other ships, and the captain is listening to them, instead of jerking them up to the rail! And many people who are capable of repairing and managing a ship are sitting in the holds, and do not notice them, because they are not needed! And the ship is repaired from the supply of managers, for pennies, and paid for it with full-weight money, falling into the pockets of managers!
    And all would be well, but simple crew members all live in the holds, and get a small share. And the old sailors, on a well-deserved rest, have been forgotten.
    The captain doesn’t have reliable people nearby, because they are in the hold, they must be sought and picked up, and apparently this is not the captain’s business, they should wash sailors from fuel oil and put them in command! Let the family hangers-on sit next! They steal and trade stolen goods, but ours!
    And the captain does not say why we sail! And most importantly, there is no navigator on the ship, and we’ve been sailing for 12 for years!
    1. seed
      seed April 4 2013 23: 21
      +2
      You already broadcast epic language. Of course, my topic has been touched upon, since it raises creative strata. wink
      1. AlNikolaich
        AlNikolaich April 4 2013 23: 53
        +2
        Yes Semenych. The topic is evil. It rises regularly, is discussed, but apparently nobody reads VO at the top and draws no conclusions! It's a shame, right?
        1. seed
          seed April 5 2013 00: 04
          +2
          Yes. But it’s not a shame. I would say it hurts.
  32. walter_rus
    walter_rus April 5 2013 00: 25
    +1
    Well written, but we all know that.
  33. Chamber No. 6
    Chamber No. 6 April 5 2013 06: 42
    -1
    The article smacks of plagiarism!
    The source is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCv60b2Z7nk
    1. FC SKIF
      April 5 2013 07: 40
      0
      Right now I'll see where I "stole" her from.
    2. FC SKIF
      April 5 2013 07: 45
      0
      Nothing in common. Makarevich is closer here, Na-na had something like that. Or maybe Putin will sue me for plagiarism - after all, he is a "galley slave."
  34. Rescuer
    Rescuer April 5 2013 15: 47
    0
    “There will be a storm. And the Russian ship will be wrecked. But even on chips and debris people are saved. Yet not everyone will die. We must pray, we must all repent and pray fervently ... A great miracle of God will be revealed. And all the chips and debris, by the will of God and His strength, will gather and unite, and the ship will be recreated in all its glory and go its own way, destined by God (said St. Anatoly Optinsky in 1917).