Results of the week. “We are starting our next show“ From the Life of Ghosts ”
Part I. “Despondency should not be allowed. Big sin - despondency ... "
Return ensign
Polishing of military reform continues
During the week, President Putin called for polishing the reform, which, as it turned out, was almost done in the Armed Forces. No shyness, only fine grinding, said the Supreme Commander at the expanded board of the Ministry of Defense.
Apparently, the reverse actions of the leadership of the main military department in terms of the return of thousands of ensigns and midshipmen to 55 are transferred to the rank of grinding. At the same time, a few years ago there were almost 142 thousands of such posts. If we are guided by the words of Vladimir Putin, then it turns out that almost 87 of thousands of midshipmen and ensigns eventually polished. The grinding wheel worked on the level!
Well, as they say, bezrybe and cancer fish. 55 thousand so 55 thousand. Apparently, the head of state, together with the leaders of the main military department, decided that after all, a whole cultural stratum could disappear from Russian folklore, to which the ensigns belonged and belong. After all, if after the reform, which in general did not leave such people as warrant officers in the army, 10-15 would have passed even more years, then in Russia there could be a real break of time! How could happen? Yes, just like this: a company of officers is going to the bathhouse, and one major suddenly says: Do you want me to tell you a joke about the ensign? After such words, lieutenants look at each other, beat each other with brooms weaker and less often, and in one voice say: about whom? Ensign? And who is this? .. After this, the whole bath day is for nothing ...
The most interesting thing is not so much that the situation with midshipmen and ensigns in the “fine grinding” mode was decided to be replayed, but that the money for this replay was again requested from the federal budget ... They disbanded - the money was needed, they were restored - the money was also required. Whether the energy conservation law is violated, or the next intrigues of the imperialists ...
Two pennies from Mikhail Saakashvili
Wine and cans
An ardent fighter for a peaceful sky over the heads of Georgian citizens, who is also still acting (or inactive) Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili, this week attacked the government of the country with criticism. Mikhail Nikolozovich denounced the officials that they had received representatives of the Rospotrebnadzor on the Georgian territory, quoting “standing on their hind legs and pouring wine with trembling hands”. At the same time, the Georgian president said that the Russian inspectors did not come at all with the goal of detecting prohibited substances in Georgian wine, but with a view to receiving a bribe. Quote: "Put the Russian official in your pocket two pennies, and he will go happy." As you can see, Mikhail Nikolozovich in terms of assessments of bureaucratic joy is clearly behind the times ...
In addition, the inflamed "leader" of the Georgian minority accused the government of Ivanishvili that it does not prevent the sale of Georgian banks to Russian owners. In particular, recently large stakes in several leading Georgian banks turned out to be purchased by Sberbank and Alfa Bank. Saakashvili saw in this a direct manifestation of Bidzina Ivanishvili’s ties with the Russian oligarchy. They say, don't you Georgians see how the new government is trying to draw Georgia into the Soviet Union?
In general, it becomes obvious that the Georgian president is trying to find any possible loopholes in order to improve his rating, which has recently moved to the region of critically low political temperatures. Mikhail Saakashvili, as he can, is warming up his rating, but he often gets warm on his nose only because of his attempts at warming up.
In particular, after saying that the Rospotrebnadzor commission arrived in Georgia in order to receive a bribe, Mikhail Nikolozovich was sent a knockdown by his long-time friend Gennady Onishchenko. The chief Russian orderly said something like this: if a person resembling the illegitimate Georgian president, to put it mildly, does not close his mouth, the Russian commission may decline backward, giving the lover of red ties the opportunity to taste wine and distribute it himself, for example in the Tbilisi market.
Mikhail Saakashvili got the second hook. Already from the head of the Georgian cabinet ministers Ivanishvili. He even gave Saakashvili an ultimatum: to collect belongings and leave the presidential palace - as soon as possible and on our own, and you will not have to leave by decision of the majority. And this decision today, one must think, will not take long in Georgia.
After two tough knockdowns in the two consecutive bouts, Mikhail Saakashvili was washing himself with a wet towel for a long time (even American coaches seem to have left their “main Georgian hope”), looking for a lost mouth guard in the ring, realizing that he was not used to productive opposition activities ... He would have a revolution - with foreign support. Without revolutions, victories for Mikhail Nikolozovich are not stuck ...
Kazakhstan: Latin plays white?
Language disease
After statements by the President of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev, that by 2025, the Kazakh language should completely switch to Latin, a large-scale discussion has flared up in Kazakhstan on this issue. Supporters and opponents of the idea of the president appeared to be on opposite sides of the barricades.
Those who endorsed the idea of the head of state declared that the well-done Nursultan Abishevich did the same thing - keep it up! Here we will translate the existing Cyrillic alphabet, which has lost its connection with modernity, into the Latin form, and the country will go forward only by leaps and bounds. People will become advanced, it will be easier to talk with foreign partners, the West will be closer - the Chinese will begin to envy!
Opponents of the idea, which include cultural figures of Kazakhstan, and at the same time Kazakh nationalists, declare that the transition to the Latin alphabet will lead to the differentiation of society. According to them, if young people are reluctant to learn their native language in Cyrillic, the change of the alphabet will not lead to positive changes. Moreover, the translation of textbooks, encyclopedias, scientific publications (not to mention signs, stamps and documents) alone will entail unreasonable multi-billion expenses. If Nazarbayev himself has problems with his language, then local nationalists are sure that this is cured ...
We, the people of Russia, for the time being are left to wonder. How did such a progressive thought expressed by Nazarbayev not occur to one of our high political officials? Why? Kazakhs, you know, you can tune in a modern way, but the Russians - no? You look, and we will have our own star on the political horizon, which in the framework of the election campaign will declare the slogan: “Down with the keyboard layout switch! Down with Alt + Shift and Ctrl + Shift! Give - less letters on the "clave"! Ur-r-ra !!! "More precisely," Hur-rr-ra !!! "Agree, a thousand times more progressive and modern ...
“Russia is a prison for women”
How the Finnish social services of Russian women lead
Recently, such a topic as the attitude of foreigners towards Russian families, Russian children living in the territory of their states has been particularly tense. In relation to one of the states, Russian parliamentarians recently passed a sensational law prohibiting the adoption of Russian orphans to citizens of this state. This, of course, about the United States. Some actively support the adopted law, others declare that the law goes beyond all reasonable limits. Those, and others, as usual, have a lot of arguments, each of which is considered immutable. In the meantime, the spit, in terms of internal Russian discussion of the law of Dima Yakovlev, is on the stone, other countries are being taken to test the unexpected turns of Russian legislation.
One of these countries is Finland, public organizations and social services which during the week reaffirmed their commitment to the ideals of the new Western society. What are we talking about? The point is that not so long ago, Finnish social relations experts decided to release in the mass circulation the so-called official reference book for the re-education of Russian women living in Finland. The very appearance of this amazing reference book underlines, as it were, that everything is wonderful with our neighbors and only, you know, Russian women do not allow Finns to develop their state further. In such cases, it is usually said in our country that if a cat has nothing to do, then he ... well, in general, you are aware. The Finnish social services also took up this line of activity, recommending their excellent reference book for a detailed study of the Russian residents of Finland.
The name of the directory already leads to certain reflections, for the tirade in the form of “Russian families and sexuality in the process of transformation” clearly hints that Russians in Finland need to quickly embark on new sexual rails in order to get maximum enjoyment from living in a northern country. The author of the book is remarkable in all respects, as she herself thinks about herself, a Finnish woman, candidate of technical sciences, director of the Research Institute for Demography, a scientist at the Oxford Center for Demographic Research, Anna Rotkirch.
It would seem that from only scientific regalia every self-respecting Russian woman living in Finland should be read in the books of this lady. This is exactly what Rotkirch herself calls for, counting on feedback from grateful readers, who she, according to the data from the site of the organization she heads, is waiting on the phone + 358 9 2280 5144. However, do not rush to call immediately, showered Anna with thanks for taking care of our women. Before dialing the number, read her work.
It is based on the postulate: “Russia is a prison for women.” What can you say? Nyura, that is, excuse me, Anna, did not reinvent the wheel: Russia was a “prison of nations”, but became a “prison for women”. The damage of Russian women coming abroad, Rotkirch, it turns out, feels a mile away, because these women, she said, are constantly subjected to domestic violence in Russia, in most cases they keep strange loyalty to their husbands, and even (most probably, terrible) protect themselves from, forgive my God, pornography and homosexual relationships. And the reason is President Putin ...
Further, Rotkirch wonders why Russian women themselves flaunt their beauty. In her opinion, it is imperative to hide their forms in order not to attract the attention of men, relations with which, according to an outstanding scientist, will not lead to anything good ...
In general, the 45-page handbook with “fascinating” reflections on what exactly a Russian woman should be in Finland, so as not to introduce respectable Finns into sin, and so that respectable Finns themselves do not enter sin into sin, is now officially distributed in Finland, and Ms. Rotkirch herself hopes for another sexual revolution in Russia. What is the problem? Left the phone, let it come now: we have these sexual revolutionaries - a dime a dozen. True, the lady needs to be warned: sexual counter is also found ...
Defilers of Shrines
Moral level
Recently, the attitude of certain individuals towards historical monuments in Russia increasingly manifests itself on the negative side, no matter how regrettable. Yes, there are monuments, monuments and sculptural compositions in our country that are very controversial in their aesthetic and historical significance, which by no means evoke equally elevated feelings. However, there are those places, the level of reverence in front of which determines the level of development of society itself. Such places, in particular, include memorials dedicated to the feat of the Soviet people during the Great Patriotic War. And when news agencies disseminate information that another group of local scum or visiting individual originals have little need for the Eternal Flame or grilled kebabs on it, then any normal person clenches his fists.
One of the recent manifestations of abuse of the Eternal Flame was recorded in Astrakhan, where a group of natives of Dagestan did not find any other activities besides putting out the fire of Eternal glory in the city center. Young people decided that laying flowers in memory of the fallen soldiers was too trite. But to fill the eternal flame with everything that lies badly is much more new and modern ... It's amazing that the hot Caucasian guys did not dance incendiary lezginka.
Local judicial authorities provided an opportunity for young guests from the Caucasus to reflect on their behavior in detention center No. XXUMX, which is called the “White Swan”. They will think before the final verdict. The governor of the Astrakhan region, Alexander Zhilkin, is holding the case on his personal control, who said that he would do everything to ensure that the guilty were punished.
The fate of another extinguisher of the Eternal Lights is also being considered by the Volgograd court. Here it concerns the Egyptian citizen, who did not crave alcohol on New Year's Eve and began to urinate into the fire burning on the Glory Memorial. Moreover, the Egyptian citizen, who was fairly heavy on his chest, rushed with his fists at a passer-by, who tried to reason with the hooligan. As it turned out, an Egyptian lover of strong drinks and burning lights on the streets of the city arrived in Volgograd to study in the internship of the medical university. Apparently, the Western democratization in Egypt was not in vain for the citizens of this country ...
Now it would be a good idea for a visiting Egyptian to convey information about what would have happened to him in his home state if he had managed a small need, for example, at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Cairo ...
Part II. “Oh brother! These are crooks! They are plotting an ominous crime on the roof! ”
Money for the opposition
Non-lethal threat
Arriving in Rome this week, US Secretary of State Mr. Kerry spoke to the leaders of the Syrian opposition and сообщилthat the United States will provide them with additional assistance in the amount of sixty million dollars, and at the same time for the first time will provide non-lethal funds. By the latter, John Kerry was referring to communications equipment and medical supplies. As for the money, then, according to the Secretary of State, 60 million will allow the opposition to provide "various services" to the population of the areas it controls, and thereby strengthen the support of local residents.
How beautiful is the diplomatic language of the new US Secretary of State! Hillary Clinton was not so sophisticated in communication. The list of "various services" that the "rebels" will provide to the "population of the districts" will not be decoded for long. Then you and the explosions, and films about the atrocities of the troops of Assad in the spirit of Qatari cinema, and "twitter", the works on a free topic, and mass shootings, torture and execution. Locals who rallied in Syria to a voluntary militia, for some reason still do not support the “Syrian Free Army”, but their president - well, so the State Department’s 60 million will undoubtedly help reduce the number of those who support not . Quite a lethal way.
Western Europe, which, like the United States, stands guard over Sharia democracy in the Middle East, immediately acted on the actions of the State Department.
EU Council allowed supplies to the militants of the opposition "non-lethal military equipment": binoculars, night vision devices, communications equipment, uniforms.
As for John Kerry, this master of the Aesopian language, talking about money and “non-lethal means”, made it clear to the fighters for a happy Syrian future, how to act. Speaking to reporters after a meeting of the Friends of Syria, he loudly expressed the fear that the equipment could fall into the hands of radical armed groups.
Why did Hollande fly to Putin
Without a bottle can not figure out
Sociologists in Paris found out that Hollande is no longer needed by the French people. "TNS Sofres" surveyed About 1 thousands of voters, of which only 30% of voters expressed confidence in the president. Even less is believed to be the prime minister of the country, Jean-Marc Eyro: only 28%. The current president has become the country's most unpopular leader since 1981. Not to mention that Depardieu received a residence permit in Saransk and began to learn Russian in order to read War and Peace in the original (they say that he reads dialogues in the salon of Scherer freely).
Having learned about his catastrophe rating, Monsieur Hollande went wherever the modern French go with grief - to the Internet. Waving his hand at a crisis Europe and even more so at America falling into the abyss of “default”, where only those three hairdressers whom he gave to dinner before the elections believe in Obama, and the average man who asked the president for a bottle of beer so-called developing countries. Brazil, China, India, Indonesia ... Russia. It turned outthat comrade Putin, mercilessly scourged by the West, has little inclination towards democracy, the rating is 62%. That is, Putin is valued, loved and approved of by the 62 percent of the respondents. Moreover, sociologists say that for Putin this is a so-so rating, it happened with percentages better. So this is what happens? The power of the majority, or what?
It is said that Hollande flew to Moscow this week to discuss investment flows, the problem of Syria, Iran’s nuclear projects, the Kremlin’s support for France’s efforts in Mali and something else. Leaders of states all the time say such things, but this is to divert the attention of the press. Journalists trustingly scribbling on their laptops and recording clericals on tape recorders in order to transfer to the articles various mantras about “restoring constitutional order” in Mali and about “actions in the countries of the Middle East”. And in fact, one sits and gazes at the other, painfully thinking how to go to the main topic, how to hint something, how to raise the rating at least one and a half times! How do you do it, comrade president? Maybe I blundered with homosexuals? Tell me, I will understand! .. But after all, modern socialists seem to consider deviations as the norm. Here in the USA, for example, the Free Socialist Party proposes to carry out the proletarian revolution with the hands of minorities, and its leaders include not only women, but also gays. Stephen Durham, the candidate from this party in the 2012 presidential election of the year, is asleep and sees how the devoted proletarians go to the storming of the White House, and at the head of the revolutionary crowd are glorious guys with a six-color flag. What kind of socialist am I, if not gay? .. Maybe I should go against the United States and join the Customs Union? And what will Cameron say? And Merkel? And Barroso? Holy Mary, how many of them! .. And what to do with Assad? Support him with Mistrals?
Apparently, having understood little of the explanations of the French colleague, Vladimir Putin, who was overwhelmed by journalists at the press conference, delicately decided to use a diplomatic language, saying that the discussion of the topic of Syria at the meeting with Hollande was supposedly accompanied by a heated discussion. But in the end the leader of Russia let it slip:
Do not wait!
It is rumored that Hugo Chavez has become a plant
Last week, an old woman, deftly pretending to be Hugo's wife, broke through the loose rows of guards to Chavez, who lies in the Venezuelan military hospital. Like, kiss the sweet wish. We caught her on the eighth floor. She dodged from police, national guardsmen and special services with the dexterity of an experienced American journalist, who for thirty years continuously wrote about democracy, human rights and various freedoms there.
There is information that this brisk old woman, having not reached her object of desire, scribbled in pure English not either a reportage in CNN (or NBC), not a note in Facebook, where she reported with expression that there was no Chávez in she did not find the hospital. It makes no sense to refute the old woman: she didn’t see the truth of Chavez. And in general: was there an old woman?
This week news about the fate of "Furious" came from Colombia. Retired Ambassador of Panama to the Organization of American States Guillermo Coches cast his vote from this fertile country where they do not smoke, they smell it, they don’t smell it, they inject it that way. In the sunny homeland of drug lords and writer G. G. Marquez, who mocked his readers in an exquisite way (like half of the heroes of “One hundred years of loneliness” with the same name - Jose), other characters manage to smell and prick at the same time.
From Signor Guillermo received a message that there is no white Chávez in the world. No, you did not understand: he used to be, but now he, alas, does not exist. Probably, Hugo ceased to exist in the following order: first he had a surgical operation, cut out cancer cells, then he caught a pulmonary infection, then his brain died, and then, in order to save electricity, the doctors disconnected Chavez from the respirator.
With a great deal of confidence we can assume that the information about the fate of the Venezuelan leader on the way to the press was slightly distorted. In addition, it turned out that the Colombian way of transmitting messages is by no means the fastest, because Chavez’s brain is explained Koches, in an interview with the Colombian television channel NTN24, died not either 30, or 31 last December. Chavez without a brain is the essence of a “plant,” he considered it necessary to add an ex-ambassador.
Why did the body of the leader of the Bolivarian revolution transported from Havana to Caracas? To disconnect him here from the life support apparatus, said Koches. “I urge the Venezuelan government to prove that I am telling a lie by showing President Chávez,” the former ambassador said.
It's time to get on television to some of the next geopolitical character and start talking about the twins and even tees of Hugo. Because while one brain is dead for two months, the second ... continues to govern the country.
Exactly a week ago, seriously ill (I do not argue with that), Chavez held a meeting with members of the Venezuelan government. If a person with a dead brain, connected to a respirator, is able to confer with the ministers, then the former president of Honduras, Manuel Zelaya, is one hundred percent right: “President Hugo Chavez will never die, because he is immortal!”
Not surprised by a special message from sunny Colombia, Venezuelan vice president Nicolas Maduro left the hospital chamber to the public and calmly said that Comandante continues to lead the government.
And if the "Furious" gives strength to the words of support, then the talkers from Colombia, undoubtedly, reinforce the modest oratorical talent with white powder - to bloody snot.
Fight for stupidity
Griboyedov's nightmare: the fools took to defend their rights
Just like in the case of Chavez, the story with the new US Secretary of State John Kerry stretched out for two weeks.
Last week, he struck the world with a geographical discovery - “confused” the names of Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan, connecting them into a single linguistic entity - “Kyrgyzstan”. This week, Mr. Kerry, being the will of the ministerial debt in Berlin, once again became the "star" of the international press. Over him, enthusiastically painted on the charms of American democracy, German students laughed in plenty.
A handsome gray-haired man quite seriously enumerated before the German youth those freedoms that are available to people in America, and those rights that freedom-loving Americans can proudly defend. Among the great values widespread in the United States, the Secretary of State of this great country called religious freedom and tolerance for political views, in the name of which their supporters can easily hold demonstrations, and policemen and fighters from the Department of Homeland Security will hand out ice cream to activists vouch).
Kerry elaborated on those demonstrators who provoke other people with insulting banners — even this is possible in America.
Young Germans listened to him, mouth open. In their view, America was associated with Guantanamo prison, drowning torture, Bush Jr.'s favorite, executions on electric chairs in Texas, beating private B. Manning, alcoholics and CIA homosexuals and rowdy from the FBI, Libya bombing, Iraq’s occupation, branch lines Al-Qaeda, which is going to build Sharia in Syria, and a huge public debt - almost 16,5 trillion. USD Fresh угрозы Obama's adviser J. Sperling to an old Bob Woodward who exposed Watergate forty years ago and now criticizes the economic policy of the White House is another example of the purity of rights, freedoms, democracy and at the same time humanity.
It turns out that the USA is a state of great freedoms! There are not only young Germans gape. So after all, you can agree to the fact that the Declaration of Independence is not a fiction, but the absolute truth. “In the event that any form of government becomes destructive for these goals themselves, the people have the right to change or abolish it and establish a new government ...” In Orwell’s novel “1984” this ancient and frank call for overthrowing the existing power is called ideologues of Big Brother “ criminality "(in another version of the translation -" mental crime ", but the first is much more accurate).
Why does the free spirit of idealism flourish in blessed America? Mr Kerry with pleasure is explained Berlin students:
Comrade Zadornov has long explained that nonsense is the main advantage of Americans. And the fact that grief can be earned from the mind proved comrade Griboedov much earlier. Thus, Kerry remains the copyright only to fight for the "right to be stupid."
Probably, the day is not far when the “right to be stupid” in the form of an amendment will be entered into the US Constitution, and the violation will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. However, the right voiced by the state secretary in his homeland is being implemented very successfully and not being spelled out in any law. Here are the latest examples.
February 28 held a meeting in Congress where irreconcilable Republicans and Democrats did not agree on the budget deficit, which led to the inclusion of automatic cuts in US government spending (“sequestration”) of 85 billion dollars. How did the senators plan to agree? And this is how: before the beginning of the voting, the chaplain of the Senate, Rear Admiral Barry Black read prayer:
A few days ago, another American stupidity became known to the world. The Pentagon’s and the military-industrial complex’s hope, called the F-35, a hybrid of the “Invisible Man,” a fighter, a bomber, and a machine with vertical takeoff and landing began to crack. In the literal sense: we are talking about cracks in the body. (Chinese assembly? Hmm). But one such miracle plane is about 180 million dollars. The Pentagon spent almost 400 million dollars to repair the fighters purchased. The Pentagon is planning to spend about 35 billion on the F-400 fleet! Foreign buyers abandon their plans to acquire this miracle of the American military industrial complex. But the Pentagon does not refuse from F-35: what can you do - the right to stupidity!
And the last. Supporters of the law, voiced by the US Secretary of State, were found in large numbers in the FBI. The time has passed when the professions of intelligence and spy were shrouded in a halo of romance, when ordinary mortals sincerely believed that the special agent could be a person of exceptional intelligence and outstanding exposure.
The other day in the media there was information that the Federal Bureau of Investigation brought more than a thousand of its employees to disciplinary responsibility, and 85 people fired (it’s hard to even imagine what stupid things they did). In the state of the FBI, as far as can be understood from the last report, completely liars, boians, heavy alcoholics, parasites, and so on - up to fans of child porno.
According to internal department report, special services are spying one after another, getting drunk, breaking each other's faces, exchanging obscene photos and text messages. Foolishly, they do it all right during work hours. Blossom agents twist romance with colleagues of both sexes and informers, and in the intervals between the novels watching pornography, including children. This they also do at work.
Drunk driving by car, marriages with drug dealers, “negligence” with evidence, fights with the police and mass lies are also characteristic features of American agents and agents of modern times.
In short, Mr. Kerry knew what he was talking about.
Return ensign
Polishing of military reform continues
During the week, President Putin called for polishing the reform, which, as it turned out, was almost done in the Armed Forces. No shyness, only fine grinding, said the Supreme Commander at the expanded board of the Ministry of Defense.
Apparently, the reverse actions of the leadership of the main military department in terms of the return of thousands of ensigns and midshipmen to 55 are transferred to the rank of grinding. At the same time, a few years ago there were almost 142 thousands of such posts. If we are guided by the words of Vladimir Putin, then it turns out that almost 87 of thousands of midshipmen and ensigns eventually polished. The grinding wheel worked on the level!
Well, as they say, bezrybe and cancer fish. 55 thousand so 55 thousand. Apparently, the head of state, together with the leaders of the main military department, decided that after all, a whole cultural stratum could disappear from Russian folklore, to which the ensigns belonged and belong. After all, if after the reform, which in general did not leave such people as warrant officers in the army, 10-15 would have passed even more years, then in Russia there could be a real break of time! How could happen? Yes, just like this: a company of officers is going to the bathhouse, and one major suddenly says: Do you want me to tell you a joke about the ensign? After such words, lieutenants look at each other, beat each other with brooms weaker and less often, and in one voice say: about whom? Ensign? And who is this? .. After this, the whole bath day is for nothing ...
The most interesting thing is not so much that the situation with midshipmen and ensigns in the “fine grinding” mode was decided to be replayed, but that the money for this replay was again requested from the federal budget ... They disbanded - the money was needed, they were restored - the money was also required. Whether the energy conservation law is violated, or the next intrigues of the imperialists ...
Two pennies from Mikhail Saakashvili
Wine and cans
An ardent fighter for a peaceful sky over the heads of Georgian citizens, who is also still acting (or inactive) Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili, this week attacked the government of the country with criticism. Mikhail Nikolozovich denounced the officials that they had received representatives of the Rospotrebnadzor on the Georgian territory, quoting “standing on their hind legs and pouring wine with trembling hands”. At the same time, the Georgian president said that the Russian inspectors did not come at all with the goal of detecting prohibited substances in Georgian wine, but with a view to receiving a bribe. Quote: "Put the Russian official in your pocket two pennies, and he will go happy." As you can see, Mikhail Nikolozovich in terms of assessments of bureaucratic joy is clearly behind the times ...
In addition, the inflamed "leader" of the Georgian minority accused the government of Ivanishvili that it does not prevent the sale of Georgian banks to Russian owners. In particular, recently large stakes in several leading Georgian banks turned out to be purchased by Sberbank and Alfa Bank. Saakashvili saw in this a direct manifestation of Bidzina Ivanishvili’s ties with the Russian oligarchy. They say, don't you Georgians see how the new government is trying to draw Georgia into the Soviet Union?
In general, it becomes obvious that the Georgian president is trying to find any possible loopholes in order to improve his rating, which has recently moved to the region of critically low political temperatures. Mikhail Saakashvili, as he can, is warming up his rating, but he often gets warm on his nose only because of his attempts at warming up.
In particular, after saying that the Rospotrebnadzor commission arrived in Georgia in order to receive a bribe, Mikhail Nikolozovich was sent a knockdown by his long-time friend Gennady Onishchenko. The chief Russian orderly said something like this: if a person resembling the illegitimate Georgian president, to put it mildly, does not close his mouth, the Russian commission may decline backward, giving the lover of red ties the opportunity to taste wine and distribute it himself, for example in the Tbilisi market.
Mikhail Saakashvili got the second hook. Already from the head of the Georgian cabinet ministers Ivanishvili. He even gave Saakashvili an ultimatum: to collect belongings and leave the presidential palace - as soon as possible and on our own, and you will not have to leave by decision of the majority. And this decision today, one must think, will not take long in Georgia.
After two tough knockdowns in the two consecutive bouts, Mikhail Saakashvili was washing himself with a wet towel for a long time (even American coaches seem to have left their “main Georgian hope”), looking for a lost mouth guard in the ring, realizing that he was not used to productive opposition activities ... He would have a revolution - with foreign support. Without revolutions, victories for Mikhail Nikolozovich are not stuck ...
Kazakhstan: Latin plays white?
Language disease
After statements by the President of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazarbayev, that by 2025, the Kazakh language should completely switch to Latin, a large-scale discussion has flared up in Kazakhstan on this issue. Supporters and opponents of the idea of the president appeared to be on opposite sides of the barricades.
Those who endorsed the idea of the head of state declared that the well-done Nursultan Abishevich did the same thing - keep it up! Here we will translate the existing Cyrillic alphabet, which has lost its connection with modernity, into the Latin form, and the country will go forward only by leaps and bounds. People will become advanced, it will be easier to talk with foreign partners, the West will be closer - the Chinese will begin to envy!
Opponents of the idea, which include cultural figures of Kazakhstan, and at the same time Kazakh nationalists, declare that the transition to the Latin alphabet will lead to the differentiation of society. According to them, if young people are reluctant to learn their native language in Cyrillic, the change of the alphabet will not lead to positive changes. Moreover, the translation of textbooks, encyclopedias, scientific publications (not to mention signs, stamps and documents) alone will entail unreasonable multi-billion expenses. If Nazarbayev himself has problems with his language, then local nationalists are sure that this is cured ...
We, the people of Russia, for the time being are left to wonder. How did such a progressive thought expressed by Nazarbayev not occur to one of our high political officials? Why? Kazakhs, you know, you can tune in a modern way, but the Russians - no? You look, and we will have our own star on the political horizon, which in the framework of the election campaign will declare the slogan: “Down with the keyboard layout switch! Down with Alt + Shift and Ctrl + Shift! Give - less letters on the "clave"! Ur-r-ra !!! "More precisely," Hur-rr-ra !!! "Agree, a thousand times more progressive and modern ...
“Russia is a prison for women”
How the Finnish social services of Russian women lead
Recently, such a topic as the attitude of foreigners towards Russian families, Russian children living in the territory of their states has been particularly tense. In relation to one of the states, Russian parliamentarians recently passed a sensational law prohibiting the adoption of Russian orphans to citizens of this state. This, of course, about the United States. Some actively support the adopted law, others declare that the law goes beyond all reasonable limits. Those, and others, as usual, have a lot of arguments, each of which is considered immutable. In the meantime, the spit, in terms of internal Russian discussion of the law of Dima Yakovlev, is on the stone, other countries are being taken to test the unexpected turns of Russian legislation.
One of these countries is Finland, public organizations and social services which during the week reaffirmed their commitment to the ideals of the new Western society. What are we talking about? The point is that not so long ago, Finnish social relations experts decided to release in the mass circulation the so-called official reference book for the re-education of Russian women living in Finland. The very appearance of this amazing reference book underlines, as it were, that everything is wonderful with our neighbors and only, you know, Russian women do not allow Finns to develop their state further. In such cases, it is usually said in our country that if a cat has nothing to do, then he ... well, in general, you are aware. The Finnish social services also took up this line of activity, recommending their excellent reference book for a detailed study of the Russian residents of Finland.
The name of the directory already leads to certain reflections, for the tirade in the form of “Russian families and sexuality in the process of transformation” clearly hints that Russians in Finland need to quickly embark on new sexual rails in order to get maximum enjoyment from living in a northern country. The author of the book is remarkable in all respects, as she herself thinks about herself, a Finnish woman, candidate of technical sciences, director of the Research Institute for Demography, a scientist at the Oxford Center for Demographic Research, Anna Rotkirch.
It would seem that from only scientific regalia every self-respecting Russian woman living in Finland should be read in the books of this lady. This is exactly what Rotkirch herself calls for, counting on feedback from grateful readers, who she, according to the data from the site of the organization she heads, is waiting on the phone + 358 9 2280 5144. However, do not rush to call immediately, showered Anna with thanks for taking care of our women. Before dialing the number, read her work.
It is based on the postulate: “Russia is a prison for women.” What can you say? Nyura, that is, excuse me, Anna, did not reinvent the wheel: Russia was a “prison of nations”, but became a “prison for women”. The damage of Russian women coming abroad, Rotkirch, it turns out, feels a mile away, because these women, she said, are constantly subjected to domestic violence in Russia, in most cases they keep strange loyalty to their husbands, and even (most probably, terrible) protect themselves from, forgive my God, pornography and homosexual relationships. And the reason is President Putin ...
Further, Rotkirch wonders why Russian women themselves flaunt their beauty. In her opinion, it is imperative to hide their forms in order not to attract the attention of men, relations with which, according to an outstanding scientist, will not lead to anything good ...
In general, the 45-page handbook with “fascinating” reflections on what exactly a Russian woman should be in Finland, so as not to introduce respectable Finns into sin, and so that respectable Finns themselves do not enter sin into sin, is now officially distributed in Finland, and Ms. Rotkirch herself hopes for another sexual revolution in Russia. What is the problem? Left the phone, let it come now: we have these sexual revolutionaries - a dime a dozen. True, the lady needs to be warned: sexual counter is also found ...
Defilers of Shrines
Moral level
Recently, the attitude of certain individuals towards historical monuments in Russia increasingly manifests itself on the negative side, no matter how regrettable. Yes, there are monuments, monuments and sculptural compositions in our country that are very controversial in their aesthetic and historical significance, which by no means evoke equally elevated feelings. However, there are those places, the level of reverence in front of which determines the level of development of society itself. Such places, in particular, include memorials dedicated to the feat of the Soviet people during the Great Patriotic War. And when news agencies disseminate information that another group of local scum or visiting individual originals have little need for the Eternal Flame or grilled kebabs on it, then any normal person clenches his fists.
One of the recent manifestations of abuse of the Eternal Flame was recorded in Astrakhan, where a group of natives of Dagestan did not find any other activities besides putting out the fire of Eternal glory in the city center. Young people decided that laying flowers in memory of the fallen soldiers was too trite. But to fill the eternal flame with everything that lies badly is much more new and modern ... It's amazing that the hot Caucasian guys did not dance incendiary lezginka.
Local judicial authorities provided an opportunity for young guests from the Caucasus to reflect on their behavior in detention center No. XXUMX, which is called the “White Swan”. They will think before the final verdict. The governor of the Astrakhan region, Alexander Zhilkin, is holding the case on his personal control, who said that he would do everything to ensure that the guilty were punished.
The fate of another extinguisher of the Eternal Lights is also being considered by the Volgograd court. Here it concerns the Egyptian citizen, who did not crave alcohol on New Year's Eve and began to urinate into the fire burning on the Glory Memorial. Moreover, the Egyptian citizen, who was fairly heavy on his chest, rushed with his fists at a passer-by, who tried to reason with the hooligan. As it turned out, an Egyptian lover of strong drinks and burning lights on the streets of the city arrived in Volgograd to study in the internship of the medical university. Apparently, the Western democratization in Egypt was not in vain for the citizens of this country ...
Now it would be a good idea for a visiting Egyptian to convey information about what would have happened to him in his home state if he had managed a small need, for example, at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Cairo ...
Part II. “Oh brother! These are crooks! They are plotting an ominous crime on the roof! ”
Money for the opposition
Non-lethal threat
Arriving in Rome this week, US Secretary of State Mr. Kerry spoke to the leaders of the Syrian opposition and сообщилthat the United States will provide them with additional assistance in the amount of sixty million dollars, and at the same time for the first time will provide non-lethal funds. By the latter, John Kerry was referring to communications equipment and medical supplies. As for the money, then, according to the Secretary of State, 60 million will allow the opposition to provide "various services" to the population of the areas it controls, and thereby strengthen the support of local residents.
How beautiful is the diplomatic language of the new US Secretary of State! Hillary Clinton was not so sophisticated in communication. The list of "various services" that the "rebels" will provide to the "population of the districts" will not be decoded for long. Then you and the explosions, and films about the atrocities of the troops of Assad in the spirit of Qatari cinema, and "twitter", the works on a free topic, and mass shootings, torture and execution. Locals who rallied in Syria to a voluntary militia, for some reason still do not support the “Syrian Free Army”, but their president - well, so the State Department’s 60 million will undoubtedly help reduce the number of those who support not . Quite a lethal way.
Western Europe, which, like the United States, stands guard over Sharia democracy in the Middle East, immediately acted on the actions of the State Department.
EU Council allowed supplies to the militants of the opposition "non-lethal military equipment": binoculars, night vision devices, communications equipment, uniforms.
As for John Kerry, this master of the Aesopian language, talking about money and “non-lethal means”, made it clear to the fighters for a happy Syrian future, how to act. Speaking to reporters after a meeting of the Friends of Syria, he loudly expressed the fear that the equipment could fall into the hands of radical armed groups.
Syrian rebels throw grenades with a homemade catapult in the city of Aleppo in northern Syria, October 16 on 2012. (Tauseef Mustafa / AFP / Getty Images)
Armored car "Sham I" in the district of Khan al-Assal, 10 November 2012 of the year. (Reuters / Zain Karam)
Self-made armored vehicle "Sham II", created by fighters of the Free Army of Syria, in Bishkatin, Syria, December 8 2012. (Herve Bar / AFP / Getty Images)
Syrian rebels from the Tahrir al-Sham brigade are preparing to launch a shell from a converted shotgun in the Arabin suburb of Damascus, February 9 2013. (Reuters / Goran Tomasevic)
Syrian rebels prepare Molotov cocktails in Aleppo, July 25, 2012. (Pierre Torres / AFP / Getty Images)
The gunsmith Abu al-Fadel demonstrates his self-made grenades, rockets and a portable rocket launcher in Aleppo province, October 17 2012. (Tauseef Mustafa / AFP / Getty Images)
Why did Hollande fly to Putin
Without a bottle can not figure out
Sociologists in Paris found out that Hollande is no longer needed by the French people. "TNS Sofres" surveyed About 1 thousands of voters, of which only 30% of voters expressed confidence in the president. Even less is believed to be the prime minister of the country, Jean-Marc Eyro: only 28%. The current president has become the country's most unpopular leader since 1981. Not to mention that Depardieu received a residence permit in Saransk and began to learn Russian in order to read War and Peace in the original (they say that he reads dialogues in the salon of Scherer freely).
Having learned about his catastrophe rating, Monsieur Hollande went wherever the modern French go with grief - to the Internet. Waving his hand at a crisis Europe and even more so at America falling into the abyss of “default”, where only those three hairdressers whom he gave to dinner before the elections believe in Obama, and the average man who asked the president for a bottle of beer so-called developing countries. Brazil, China, India, Indonesia ... Russia. It turned outthat comrade Putin, mercilessly scourged by the West, has little inclination towards democracy, the rating is 62%. That is, Putin is valued, loved and approved of by the 62 percent of the respondents. Moreover, sociologists say that for Putin this is a so-so rating, it happened with percentages better. So this is what happens? The power of the majority, or what?
It is said that Hollande flew to Moscow this week to discuss investment flows, the problem of Syria, Iran’s nuclear projects, the Kremlin’s support for France’s efforts in Mali and something else. Leaders of states all the time say such things, but this is to divert the attention of the press. Journalists trustingly scribbling on their laptops and recording clericals on tape recorders in order to transfer to the articles various mantras about “restoring constitutional order” in Mali and about “actions in the countries of the Middle East”. And in fact, one sits and gazes at the other, painfully thinking how to go to the main topic, how to hint something, how to raise the rating at least one and a half times! How do you do it, comrade president? Maybe I blundered with homosexuals? Tell me, I will understand! .. But after all, modern socialists seem to consider deviations as the norm. Here in the USA, for example, the Free Socialist Party proposes to carry out the proletarian revolution with the hands of minorities, and its leaders include not only women, but also gays. Stephen Durham, the candidate from this party in the 2012 presidential election of the year, is asleep and sees how the devoted proletarians go to the storming of the White House, and at the head of the revolutionary crowd are glorious guys with a six-color flag. What kind of socialist am I, if not gay? .. Maybe I should go against the United States and join the Customs Union? And what will Cameron say? And Merkel? And Barroso? Holy Mary, how many of them! .. And what to do with Assad? Support him with Mistrals?
Apparently, having understood little of the explanations of the French colleague, Vladimir Putin, who was overwhelmed by journalists at the press conference, delicately decided to use a diplomatic language, saying that the discussion of the topic of Syria at the meeting with Hollande was supposedly accompanied by a heated discussion. But in the end the leader of Russia let it slip:
“It seemed to me that here not only without a bottle of good wine, here without a bottle of vodka I could not figure it out right away. We will need to sit and think. ”
Do not wait!
It is rumored that Hugo Chavez has become a plant
Last week, an old woman, deftly pretending to be Hugo's wife, broke through the loose rows of guards to Chavez, who lies in the Venezuelan military hospital. Like, kiss the sweet wish. We caught her on the eighth floor. She dodged from police, national guardsmen and special services with the dexterity of an experienced American journalist, who for thirty years continuously wrote about democracy, human rights and various freedoms there.
There is information that this brisk old woman, having not reached her object of desire, scribbled in pure English not either a reportage in CNN (or NBC), not a note in Facebook, where she reported with expression that there was no Chávez in she did not find the hospital. It makes no sense to refute the old woman: she didn’t see the truth of Chavez. And in general: was there an old woman?
This week news about the fate of "Furious" came from Colombia. Retired Ambassador of Panama to the Organization of American States Guillermo Coches cast his vote from this fertile country where they do not smoke, they smell it, they don’t smell it, they inject it that way. In the sunny homeland of drug lords and writer G. G. Marquez, who mocked his readers in an exquisite way (like half of the heroes of “One hundred years of loneliness” with the same name - Jose), other characters manage to smell and prick at the same time.
From Signor Guillermo received a message that there is no white Chávez in the world. No, you did not understand: he used to be, but now he, alas, does not exist. Probably, Hugo ceased to exist in the following order: first he had a surgical operation, cut out cancer cells, then he caught a pulmonary infection, then his brain died, and then, in order to save electricity, the doctors disconnected Chavez from the respirator.
With a great deal of confidence we can assume that the information about the fate of the Venezuelan leader on the way to the press was slightly distorted. In addition, it turned out that the Colombian way of transmitting messages is by no means the fastest, because Chavez’s brain is explained Koches, in an interview with the Colombian television channel NTN24, died not either 30, or 31 last December. Chavez without a brain is the essence of a “plant,” he considered it necessary to add an ex-ambassador.
Why did the body of the leader of the Bolivarian revolution transported from Havana to Caracas? To disconnect him here from the life support apparatus, said Koches. “I urge the Venezuelan government to prove that I am telling a lie by showing President Chávez,” the former ambassador said.
It's time to get on television to some of the next geopolitical character and start talking about the twins and even tees of Hugo. Because while one brain is dead for two months, the second ... continues to govern the country.
Exactly a week ago, seriously ill (I do not argue with that), Chavez held a meeting with members of the Venezuelan government. If a person with a dead brain, connected to a respirator, is able to confer with the ministers, then the former president of Honduras, Manuel Zelaya, is one hundred percent right: “President Hugo Chavez will never die, because he is immortal!”
Not surprised by a special message from sunny Colombia, Venezuelan vice president Nicolas Maduro left the hospital chamber to the public and calmly said that Comandante continues to lead the government.
"Our leader is still sick, - сказал Comrade Maduro. - He gave all his strength to the poorest citizens, those who had nothing. Now he is fighting the disease, and we all must support him. Members of the government who have access to Chávez’s chamber always say warm words to him, which give the president strength. ”
And if the "Furious" gives strength to the words of support, then the talkers from Colombia, undoubtedly, reinforce the modest oratorical talent with white powder - to bloody snot.
Fight for stupidity
Griboyedov's nightmare: the fools took to defend their rights
Just like in the case of Chavez, the story with the new US Secretary of State John Kerry stretched out for two weeks.
Last week, he struck the world with a geographical discovery - “confused” the names of Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan, connecting them into a single linguistic entity - “Kyrgyzstan”. This week, Mr. Kerry, being the will of the ministerial debt in Berlin, once again became the "star" of the international press. Over him, enthusiastically painted on the charms of American democracy, German students laughed in plenty.
A handsome gray-haired man quite seriously enumerated before the German youth those freedoms that are available to people in America, and those rights that freedom-loving Americans can proudly defend. Among the great values widespread in the United States, the Secretary of State of this great country called religious freedom and tolerance for political views, in the name of which their supporters can easily hold demonstrations, and policemen and fighters from the Department of Homeland Security will hand out ice cream to activists vouch).
Kerry elaborated on those demonstrators who provoke other people with insulting banners — even this is possible in America.
Young Germans listened to him, mouth open. In their view, America was associated with Guantanamo prison, drowning torture, Bush Jr.'s favorite, executions on electric chairs in Texas, beating private B. Manning, alcoholics and CIA homosexuals and rowdy from the FBI, Libya bombing, Iraq’s occupation, branch lines Al-Qaeda, which is going to build Sharia in Syria, and a huge public debt - almost 16,5 trillion. USD Fresh угрозы Obama's adviser J. Sperling to an old Bob Woodward who exposed Watergate forty years ago and now criticizes the economic policy of the White House is another example of the purity of rights, freedoms, democracy and at the same time humanity.
It turns out that the USA is a state of great freedoms! There are not only young Germans gape. So after all, you can agree to the fact that the Declaration of Independence is not a fiction, but the absolute truth. “In the event that any form of government becomes destructive for these goals themselves, the people have the right to change or abolish it and establish a new government ...” In Orwell’s novel “1984” this ancient and frank call for overthrowing the existing power is called ideologues of Big Brother “ criminality "(in another version of the translation -" mental crime ", but the first is much more accurate).
Why does the free spirit of idealism flourish in blessed America? Mr Kerry with pleasure is explained Berlin students:
“This is because we have freedom, freedom of speech. A resident of America has the right to be stupid, if it is his choice. And he has the right to separate himself from others if he wants to. And we are tolerant. We somehow live with it. So, I think that is our dignity. I think this is something worth fighting for. ”
Comrade Zadornov has long explained that nonsense is the main advantage of Americans. And the fact that grief can be earned from the mind proved comrade Griboedov much earlier. Thus, Kerry remains the copyright only to fight for the "right to be stupid."
Probably, the day is not far when the “right to be stupid” in the form of an amendment will be entered into the US Constitution, and the violation will be punished to the fullest extent of the law. However, the right voiced by the state secretary in his homeland is being implemented very successfully and not being spelled out in any law. Here are the latest examples.
February 28 held a meeting in Congress where irreconcilable Republicans and Democrats did not agree on the budget deficit, which led to the inclusion of automatic cuts in US government spending (“sequestration”) of 85 billion dollars. How did the senators plan to agree? And this is how: before the beginning of the voting, the chaplain of the Senate, Rear Admiral Barry Black read prayer:
"Come, Lord, and save us from ourselves."
A few days ago, another American stupidity became known to the world. The Pentagon’s and the military-industrial complex’s hope, called the F-35, a hybrid of the “Invisible Man,” a fighter, a bomber, and a machine with vertical takeoff and landing began to crack. In the literal sense: we are talking about cracks in the body. (Chinese assembly? Hmm). But one such miracle plane is about 180 million dollars. The Pentagon spent almost 400 million dollars to repair the fighters purchased. The Pentagon is planning to spend about 35 billion on the F-400 fleet! Foreign buyers abandon their plans to acquire this miracle of the American military industrial complex. But the Pentagon does not refuse from F-35: what can you do - the right to stupidity!
And the last. Supporters of the law, voiced by the US Secretary of State, were found in large numbers in the FBI. The time has passed when the professions of intelligence and spy were shrouded in a halo of romance, when ordinary mortals sincerely believed that the special agent could be a person of exceptional intelligence and outstanding exposure.
The other day in the media there was information that the Federal Bureau of Investigation brought more than a thousand of its employees to disciplinary responsibility, and 85 people fired (it’s hard to even imagine what stupid things they did). In the state of the FBI, as far as can be understood from the last report, completely liars, boians, heavy alcoholics, parasites, and so on - up to fans of child porno.
According to internal department report, special services are spying one after another, getting drunk, breaking each other's faces, exchanging obscene photos and text messages. Foolishly, they do it all right during work hours. Blossom agents twist romance with colleagues of both sexes and informers, and in the intervals between the novels watching pornography, including children. This they also do at work.
Drunk driving by car, marriages with drug dealers, “negligence” with evidence, fights with the police and mass lies are also characteristic features of American agents and agents of modern times.
In short, Mr. Kerry knew what he was talking about.
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