About "international debt". Tales of old technology
For a long time, guys, I haven’t written anything here, the times somehow don’t have it, and it doesn’t seem to be funny. But who said, "that you need to give up songs in the war"? Moreover, life is such a bastard in general that if you treat it without a certain amount of humor, then you can “fuck it out of your head at once” ... Moreover, if you remember the times of the “great and mighty”, then sometimes for the world so fought, that oh-oh ... True, it was then called not “war” and not even “special operation”, but “fulfillment of international duty”. That's what we'll talk about...
To "defend the gains of the revolution"
I don’t know why, but with all the breadth of the “Soviet soul”, there was some special love for the letter “A” - Afghanistan, Angola, Asia, Africa ... Well, the rest of the alphabet is further down the list ...
In general, it was in one of the distant hot countries that “took the path of socialist construction”, and under this mute they shook everything and more from the “mentors” ... In particular, the USSR supplied them with a batch of the most modern fighters at that time - bombers.
So to speak, in order to “protect the gains of the revolution”, well, sort things out with neighbors ... For in this way, our sworn “friends and partners” have also trained all sorts of different things ... Well, they slaughtered each other there from time immemorial, perhaps a little so "technological".
One ambush, modern IS is never an “assegai” and not even a goat ... It requires at least trained personnel both in the air, and even more so on the ground ... In short, we had to attach our personnel to the IS party, what is called, “in assortment” with the task of “advising and teaching”. Well, taking into account local traditions and mentality in the process of studying, sometimes they soaked such “crusts” that you don’t know whether to cry or laugh ...
Here's a case for you.
Sniper pilot
From the USSR, the best were always sent for such work, and now one of our “sniper pilots” with the rank of major commanded (or rather advised) the flight training of local personnel. It was his first such mission, so he was not very aware of the “peculiarities of the national cuisine”.
Well, the languages somehow did not work. No, he was fluent in the three main ones, but the local cadres babbled on some kind of their own, and they refused to understand the “great and mighty”. Although they began to swear by the end of the second week. And therefore, a local graduate of the University of Friendship of Peoples was assigned to the major as an interpreter.
And here conflicts began - because the translator knew the language, but he was poorly aware of the "peculiarities of military terminology". And if our major at the very least found a common language with the local flight crew (they all studied in the Union), then misunderstandings periodically arose with the ground personnel ...
In a word, it was necessary for our major to take tests from local pilots on "combat use". As they say, war is war, and the curriculum cannot be smoked ...
Accounts for "combat use"
They appointed a day, the major (through an interpreter) gave the order to prepare the training ground. Why cook it? It's a big desert - I don't want bombs.
Two pairs for tomorrow to take off for practical bombing. Yes, it’s not a question at all, early in the morning right after the morning prayer and they will cook it ... (well, about the local attitude to the preparation of the aircraft - this is a separate story). Even the corresponding order was issued, as expected, with a full indication of the forces and means involved, in particular, an accurate indication of the combat load in the form of 4 practical P50Sh ...
But who reads those orders ... By the way, it’s quite possible that he doesn’t even know how to read ...
As a result, as usual, “morning on the collective farm” came.
In the morning, at dawn, our major got into a jeep issued as a personal means of transportation, an interpreter settled down next to him, and a radio operator with a walkie-talkie so that the local eagles / barmaley "write out the control center in the process" ...
We went to that square of the desert that was listed behind the training ground, and where the locals regularly scared away snakes and scorpions, kheracha on unrequited dunes and takyrs "with all the proletarian hatred." Naturally, there was nothing from the equipment of the landfill there, with the exception of the same unfinished scorpions and a couple of centipedes. So the same major's jeep, which was driven higher up the dune, acted as a "tower", and a cross of 20 meters covered with soot was used as a target ...
Well, since the bombing was planned for training, and the major remembered exactly that only “practical” bombs appeared in the order, they didn’t move far from the “target” ... 500 meters - so that they could see well, and so that an accidental miss in traditional “ pollaptya "do not catch.
We arrived, settled down, even stretched a tent for the white sagib, a folding chair, we are waiting, sir ... If only a cold beer, and it would be almost a resort ... But where can I get it ... Although the eagles are already flying over there, they will pour it now .. from the heart.
Well, the major took the headset from the radio operator (fortunately, the pilots understand Russian), binoculars, a tablet, a pencil to mark hits and add them to the statement. In other words, "the ball begins."
Training bombing
Here it should also be noted that, despite the “general cultural level”, local personnel flew famously, even too famously, because they did not even have a sense of self-preservation inherent in a person as a fact. For a warrior is unbecoming.
As a result, the leading pairs accepted the command to “start work” and, after a beautiful “dissolution”, went on a combat course ... But something alerted the major ... somehow the cars look wrong. But you can’t really see it when you have, consider, silver arrows flying over your head at a speed under the swing ...
Only a sound wave applied to the ears. The first one went...
Well, it’s hard for me to draw a picture with words here - whoever has never stood nearby alive is unlikely to feel that you physically, feel these nearly 10 tons of thrust: when such “steel birds” (of course, more duralumin) to the whistle of Lyulka’s products will swing with a characteristic hump of a gargrot and wow - dark drops separate from the BDZ, nodding their stabilizers, rushing towards a meeting with a target ...
In general, complete "peace to your home" ... Bdah! Suddenly, a sultan of fire, smoke takes off into the air, the earth, suddenly becoming hard, hits on the heels - an awning, a high chair flew off and even a jeep jumped ...
And most importantly - next to and closer, it’s disgusting like “vzhiu, shmyak, ding ...” Then the major realizes that “obviously something went wrong” ... Well, damn it, practical bombs don’t explode - there is a blank with concrete and “ firecracker with smoke "in the back to register a hit ...
In short, “instincts and reflexes” worked before the brains ... The Major, like that lizard, dug into the sand under the jeep at such a speed that if someone stood with a stopwatch, he would register a new unconditional world record for digging in from a sitting position would definitely ... I also managed to drag a radio operator with an interpreter with me ...
And the sizing isn't the same...
And above the natural war. Whistle, howl, blow, Whistle, howl, blow... Moreover, it shakes so that it mixes brains into porridge. Here the major begins to realize that he seemed strange in the appearance of cars ... The order was 4 PB per car ... And here all the suspension units are occupied, and the size is not the same ... Thank all the gods (of the local pantheon) and personally dear Leonid Ilyich - leaned back. Major crawled out from under the car - oil painting...
The desert is no longer quite a desert - that is, a desert, of course, but rather a lunar one ... A funnel on a funnel ... 4 IBs on each of 8 FAB 250 (as it turned out), and everything is in the "patch" - still taught the major is to bomb them (to his own happiness - for think about what would be left there if they also missed a couple of times). Well, the fact that the soil is loose also helped out - because even without that the jeep was in a sieve, the walkie-talkie was in the trash, but the bulk of the metal - it still remained in the funnels ... So we got off with light contusions ...
In general, when the major blinked his eyes and removed the sand from all the holes ... What did he say about this - our “moral appearance” needs to be omitted, although the same translator, although shell-shocked, took shorthand of the major’s speech and dramatically expanded his vocabulary .. .
Moreover, I had to cut eight kilometers back through the desert on foot, and the major had time to express his opinion about the desert, and about the local eagles, and about the locals in general, and about the policy of the party in particular ... In total, there were enough topics.
local order
The major returned to the base and, turning the staff inside with fur, found out that yes, they received the order, but they didn’t read ... (literate, you see, he went on dismissal), and since they verbally handed over to prepare 4 cars for a bombing flight, they hung them a standard BC of 8 FAB 250 - and it’s even simpler: the 1st BC - it lies next to the planes, and you have to go to the warehouse for practical bombs, the requirements to draw up, in other words, have simplified your life.
The local eagles didn't bother too much either - are the cars ready? Ready. Are the bombs up? Suspended ... Well, "goyda!" Or how it will be in their language?
In general, the report was passed.
Major from this even stopped cursing. And what? In the end, everyone was alive, the jeep was decommissioned (so it remained there as a “target situation”) ... As a result, the Major was even issued some kind of local order with a small saucer the size of ...
But since then, the major has greatly respected the infantry.
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