Military Review

Based on the Ukrainian media and the national liberal press

44
- Gentlemen! Citizens! Comrades! Tell God for the sake of the representative of the creative intelligentsia, who was beaten down by Putin's tyranny, how to get to Ukraine to earn money? .. Or to Georgia ... There is no longer any power to endure ...




Recently, I took away the last coupons for vodka for the fact that, due to my illness, I did not go to voluntary-compulsory work on the improvement of anti-tank ditches around Moscow. I had to exchange some nonfreezables for Internet tickets. I don’t need them anyway, since in Moscow electricity remained only in the Kremlin and at sites of great strategic importance. Successfully changed. Even for two birch logs for the stove was enough ...

I sit on the bench near the Bolshoi Theater, in the hands of the agenda, I indulge in the latest glassmaking, and past the endless string of sadly wounded, killed and just ripped apart Pskov paratroopers wander. A familiar sight for Russians lately ... Again, from under the Yasinovatskaya denouement, probably ... Kiev railway station is filled with platforms with burnt Armat cores and black sea submarines that have been torn up by rusty tins, and in the direction of Ukraine, the echelon after echelon is driven by military drills squadrons of the Altai Marine Corps.

Permanent fights in endless queues at grocery ration cards for merchandise cards, commandant patrols snooping around the gateways, with enviable regularity catching overlooked potential recruits, and systematic raids forcing the population to rally in support of the ruling regime ... And try to refuse ... in recruits - in the Donbass or, God forbid, in Syria, where, as the Echo of Moscow tears out tears, half a year ago all the Russian group was cut out by the root of the bogey ...

And what was the other day! We sit with a neighbor in the kitchen, do not touch anyone, we quit slowly and completely whispered the song of Makarevich “Do not bend over a changing world” ... And suddenly! The crackle of a broken door, the clink of glass, splinters of an embossed frame ... A bright flash and a suffocating smoke of a noisy grenade ... A wild cry: "Lie down, be afraid! Everybody hits the floor!", And from all the cracks climbed in the special police squad capture gru. Probably, by tapping worked ...

They tied us, poor fellows of the miserable, healed us a little bit liverly and affectionately, but in a very categorical form, they explained that from now on, for propaganda of anti-Russian and illegal agitation for the enemy of the people Andryush Makarevich, we are Putin’s “official slaves” and we must atone for our own blood with the blood - either in the infantry in Syria, either by the driver of the wheelbarrow or by the operator of the pick on one of Putin’s mines for growing nuclear warheads ...

What the hell is Syria! I have a flat foot since childhood! Yes, and it is inconvenient somehow before the Ukrainians - to dab their sisterhood ... I agreed to the quarries ... I immediately, with witnesses and witnesses, wrote the agenda and left. Has passed ... It could be worse ...

All night he prayed for portraits of Kasyanov and Akhedzhakova. Great people, they have done so much for Russia ... I sit, read the agenda, weep ... Choking on tears, I finished the last canine leg ... I solve the eternal question of the Russian liberal intelligentsia: "What should I do?"

By the edge of my ear, by word of mouth, I heard that the most ingenious commander of independent power, Semyon Semenchenko, had already taken Rostov ... He was coming to Voronezh ... If I live, I’ll meet in embroidery ...

PART TWO. ON URANIUM MINES

- Wow, Leva! What are you so bred? They clean it up, you bastards ... So what, that the moss on the market went up in price ... Well, just think, the neighbors ate their neighbors ... If you saw something, then keep quiet. What are you, Koschey Immortal? Or do you have two heads?

Why bother? I have a case for you. Urgent When will the satraps rest on your quarry? How to get free, throw a pick and go to the ravine. Remember where we last week with three runaway Yakuts a dead horse was eating? We’ll spoil baked hedgehogs, wipers with a bahn on a scale (I otarovarit coupons to him yesterday), but let's talk about our mournful affairs ... In short, the mood is not childish ... I have a reason today. Shy ...

The other day I got a job in Putin’s mines as a wheelbarrow operator. To that mine, where Shoigu himself recently cleaned, remember? So, there, after the last shootings, some vacancies were formed ... Count up, lucky! Now I will receive rations of cereals. And on Sundays, even on the bank, sprat promise! I will reptile, I'm not lying! At least some stability. I’ve become old, to collect bumps and moss in the taiga, and the Russian people have almost completely destroyed the hedgehog. And what are people thinking about? What then will eat something?

And the Yakuts, Lyova, those already there ... Two of the chairman of the NKVDshnikam passed. As soon as they were tied, they were immediately sentenced by the “court of the three” to the village council ... and they were sentenced ... They were hanged, ill, at the headquarters. On the Christmas trees. And the third in the marshes directly ran into a commandant patrol. He was shot at the commandant's office. Like a Chinese spy. Yes, it is understandable ... He also had no registration for more than a year .. At the same time, we will remember the poor fellows of these sinners ...

You only crawl up to the ravine from the north, and then from the south you can run into the raids of the Buryat diving-armored cavalry. From the east, at the lake, watchmen of mountain rifle Tuva submariners and Chukchi shamans-snipers are guarding the governor’s oil rig. Beasts. Shoot without warning. And, for God's sake, be careful ... you are still needed by me alive - the “non-freeze” is waiting, and the hedgehogs are already completely cold ... Hurry up ... Respect the old man ... Maybe we'll see you for the last time, brother. .. Lord, how terrible it is to live in Mother Russia!

Something like this ... inspired by ...

Author:
44 comments
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  1. Cxnumx
    Cxnumx 16 November 2017 05: 59
    +9
    PART TWO. ON URANIUM MINES

    neighing)))
    1. 210ox
      210ox 16 November 2017 18: 22
      +2
      Hedgehogs and a glasswash I have already stocked up until my last days. It follows that the apocalypse from the article does not threaten me laughing
      Quote: K0
      PART TWO. ON URANIUM MINES

      neighing)))
    2. CALL.
      CALL. 19 November 2017 11: 04
      0
      in the direction of Ukraine, echelon after echelon is being driven by combat drills and squadrons of Altai marine corps.

  2. Herculesic
    Herculesic 16 November 2017 06: 18
    13
    The heading needs humor, wassat and the author megaplusche good + and thanks hi good
  3. Alex 2016
    Alex 2016 16 November 2017 06: 23
    +7
    Funny))) Cheered up from the morning.
    1. Nyrobsky
      Nyrobsky 18 November 2017 12: 35
      +2
      Quote: Alex 2016
      Funny))) Cheered up from the morning.

      It’s funny to you, but how do the Ukrists live if they find out that everything written is not true? This is a template gap! Yes, and for the West European layman somehow worried ...
  4. Basil50
    Basil50 16 November 2017 07: 08
    +6
    It's funny, it's funny, but the author listed everything that Georgians-Ukrainians-Poles-Germans-Americans-British carry
    -French people.
    Some THIS is voiced on RUSSIAN television. Moreover, they know that they lie and look like idiots, but they still voice frank lies.
    1. Dimy4
      Dimy4 16 November 2017 07: 35
      +3
      And after all there are such that THIS is believed and taken at face value!
      1. Tula gingerbread
        Tula gingerbread 16 November 2017 10: 01
        +2
        In Ukraine, this is almost universally believed. Samoke is amazing that we have such.
    2. Kent0001
      Kent0001 17 November 2017 00: 04
      0
      They just work off grandmother ..... grants understand .....
  5. rotmistr60
    rotmistr60 16 November 2017 07: 09
    +7
    The author can be congratulated. Written from the heart, in the wickedness of the day. "Handshakes" in shock - who dared to mock them? In a word +.
  6. midivan
    midivan 16 November 2017 07: 33
    +2
    I would neigh, but somehow I immediately fell into a stupor after that-
    [/ quote] I dabble in the last glass washing, and past the endless string dejectedly wounded, killed and simply torn to shreds Pskov paratroopers. [quote]
    Replace with something else, if it’s not a big problem, but it’s not good sad
  7. The leader of the Redskins
    The leader of the Redskins 16 November 2017 07: 51
    +1
    Another nonsense ... Author, accept that neither be antipyretic.
    1. 79807420129
      79807420129 16 November 2017 16: 38
      +9
      Quote: Leader of the Redskins
      Another nonsense ... Author, accept that neither be antipyretic.

      Do you understand humor at least sometimes? request
      1. The leader of the Redskins
        The leader of the Redskins 16 November 2017 22: 10
        0
        Humor? Yes. Bullshit - no. I am an engineer, not a psychiatrist.
        1. Kent0001
          Kent0001 17 November 2017 00: 05
          0
          Hi Sheldon!
      2. bk316
        bk316 20 November 2017 13: 39
        +2
        Do you understand humor at least sometimes?

        Leave him with his father in kuev. What humor is there.
  8. midshipman
    midshipman 16 November 2017 08: 04
    +4
    Dear Vladimir, thank you. You very interestingly noticed everything, there is not enough Chubais. I have the honor.
  9. inkass_98
    inkass_98 16 November 2017 08: 05
    11
    It is necessary to send the author to support:

    And soon the hedgehog will end, what will he do?
    1. PSih2097
      PSih2097 16 November 2017 11: 05
      +3
      Quote: inkass_98
      It is necessary to send the author to support:

      Well, also on the washer ... laughing
  10. zzdimk
    zzdimk 16 November 2017 08: 13
    +3
    Funny, but somehow sad. I would also like to achieve the state in which the author was at the time of the creation of the text. And the text is not bad, good.
    1. Krasnodar
      Krasnodar 16 November 2017 10: 26
      0
      Quote: zzdimk
      Funny, but somehow sad. I would also like to achieve the state in which the author was at the time of the creation of the text. And the text is not bad, good.

      Evil hair dryer))))
  11. Cat Marquis
    Cat Marquis 16 November 2017 08: 16
    +5
    The topic of maintaining heat in a single apartment using a nuclear reactor is not disclosed. There is no mention of a pet bear in earflaps with balalaika. Hackers-hacking soy sausages from tables in neighboring Estonia, if the host just turns away from the tare for a second, they are not mentioned at all .. Well, the "ubiquitous GDP" under the bed of each burgher ..... And yes, the rest will do, that's all and there is, even now right on the front page of CNN ... wink
    1. CorvusCoraks
      CorvusCoraks 16 November 2017 09: 43
      +1
      Quote: Cat Marquis
      Well, the "ubiquitous GDP" under the bed of each burgher.

      Then also ubiquitous))
      1. Cat Marquis
        Cat Marquis 16 November 2017 10: 22
        +1
        also ubiquitous

        Fu-u - "nasty" .... wink
    2. vredlo
      vredlo 16 November 2017 18: 41
      +1
      and about a personal tank that Salaries can’t save up and you have to use liquid to clean a nuclear reactor, and from this the exhaust is smelly stupid
  12. parusnik
    parusnik 16 November 2017 08: 21
    +3
    Yes, it’s not so bad, we have started working here recently on hedgehog farms .. By the New Year we’ll feast on the hedgehog .. We opened a non-freezing firm store, canceled coupons .. But they give out no more than one bubble in our hands ... wink .. Thank you, the author had fun ... laughing ... Yeah .. if the "theirs" press to read is exactly what happens ...
  13. BAI
    BAI 16 November 2017 09: 21
    0
    Part two has recently been. But not in the article, but in the comments.
  14. CorvusCoraks
    CorvusCoraks 16 November 2017 09: 36
    0
    "the barmalei half a year ago, the entire Russian group was cut to the root ..."

    Not barmalei, but warriors of light and kindness, who do not spare their lives for the best against the worst with an equally tyrannical regime in Syria, then ... If you get used to the image to the end)))
    1. BAI
      BAI 16 November 2017 15: 27
      +2
      Neither barmaley nor warriors of the world can take us!
  15. Selin Andrey
    Selin Andrey 16 November 2017 14: 15
    +3
    "And on Sundays even on the bank sprats promise!" You don’t need to insert such hyperbolas. In one hand? Stop deceiving the people! In the company - still believe it. But in one hand - this, comrade, is overkill.
  16. tracer
    tracer 16 November 2017 17: 12
    0
    Yes ... of course sanctioned everyone. My friend wonders about friendship ... just the second time in Voetnam he is going to rest for a year. I advised him to buy slippers on the cheap there. The right thing in a crisis is ...
  17. evil partisan
    evil partisan 16 November 2017 17: 22
    +2
    laughing
    But VNA Ukraine believes in such nonsense! yes Here is an example for you:

    Listen diagonally at least. Impressive. lol
  18. salad
    salad 16 November 2017 17: 23
    0
    Hot story))))
    And no one knows where the cockroach disappeared?
  19. Freeman
    Freeman 16 November 2017 18: 04
    +2
    commandant patrols snooping around the gates, catching yawning potential recruits with enviable regularity

    - And also the employees of the military registration and enlistment offices regularly visit the circus and hand out summons for the appeal to all laughing men.
    - They row everyone, starting from kindergarten age! Children who are converted by genetic injection into the Battle Buryats are immediately sent to the Donbass front!

    Horrible!!! This is a complete mess !!! wassat
  20. 16112014nk
    16112014nk 16 November 2017 20: 19
    0
    Each joke has a fraction of a joke, the rest is true. wink
    There is a hint in every tale. yes
  21. Prisoner
    Prisoner 16 November 2017 20: 48
    +3
    It’s funny. It’s even funnier that some intellectuals will take it for a clean coin. "How scary to live!" (with)
  22. ando_bor
    ando_bor 16 November 2017 21: 24
    +2
    The liberals in Russia are in power and their main Putin is, and what the author calls liberals is the usual hired guns, a component of the weapons of hybrid wars.
  23. The comment was deleted.
  24. Konatantin 1992
    Konatantin 1992 17 November 2017 05: 32
    +2
    Bravo to the author))) cheered up)) to the spite of the day and did not offend anyone))
  25. Grim Reaper
    Grim Reaper 17 November 2017 06: 33
    +2
    Not funny......
    1. popandopulo
      popandopulo 17 November 2017 10: 47
      +4
      Quote: Ecilop
      Not funny......

      Me too. The impression is that I have already heard all this, and more than once. Petrosyanschina gives, the second freshness.
  26. a housewife
    a housewife 17 November 2017 10: 53
    +3
    Well, delicious hedgehog? No?! Yes, you just do not know how to cook them !!! laughing
  27. Sands Careers General
    Sands Careers General 17 November 2017 14: 06
    +4
    Fire! Author, write more!
  28. lukewarm
    lukewarm 18 November 2017 12: 21
    0
    Thank! Super! Not gently and shaking hands. Directly, the author lit up and ached. Skeleton armatures at the Kiev station ..... laughing good Above the banner of Sharanism-Khaykinism!
  29. polpot
    polpot 18 November 2017 13: 06
    +1
    Do not interfere with ukram them in the absence of heating and hot water warms the idea that we are worse