Military Review

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. Woodpeckers on concrete

Greetings to you, dear readers and inspiring them (readers) to the feat of the reader! Nothing that I tuned you to the seriousness of today's notes? And you know why? Yes, because today I wanted to bring the brain to you too. Not all of us endure. For the rest, everything will be as usual. I write, you read and draw your own conclusions. Democracy in its purest form.

I will start with the last for today Ukrainian "brain removal". You are aware of the latest events in our government. The Varyags, who were called “revolutionary troops” behind their eyes, began packing their bags. Already the second was going home. And behind him is a whole bunch of effective managers. So I will not paint what you already read and know.

Well, and how does a normal government act in such a situation? Tarak ... pah, the prime minister gathers the whole company somewhere in the sauna and speaks in a firm voice. Guys, they say, it's time to grease the paws with turpentine so that the masses do not smear them with something else. Well, the guys grabbed manatka, shove Hamans in their pockets and on a dark night, along unlit alleys, to the “Canadian” border. But this is normal and in a normal country. And we have Ukraine!

We are all the more interesting. Premier is smart. Yes, and "Gamachanets" he has a decent. All can not take out immediately. And there are so many “guys” in power that they have not built such a sauna yet. In short, the Prime Minister collected them traditionally. In the Rada. Gently so glasses shines. A sort of caricature copy of Beria. But smart. Understands that the arrows must be transferred to someone. More precisely, it is time to assign a switchman.

But the gang ... oh, Rada is also not a boy from the Maidan. Grated rolls. To answer the hunt? After all, they can be on Gilyak. So they look. One glasses glitters, and the rest of the fools are portrayed. Well, Arseny could not stand it. “You have the constitutional right to submit to the parliament a resolution of no confidence in the Cabinet of Ministers. Please exercise this right - put to the vote the question of no confidence in the government. If it (the decree) gains votes, we will proudly transfer the appropriate powers to the new Cabinet. Take this step - it will already be your responsibility. "

Yeah. Right now ... Found a fool for 4 soldo ... Pinocchio, Chernigov spill. And now everyone is sitting. They think who will be the first to agree to this very Gilyak. Ours periodically run there. The masses of deputies think that the guarantor will be a switchman. Oh well. The guarantor is cunning and will not be substituted.

And then, on the "carpet", they called through their ambassadors "volunteers." That was a laugh! A sort of two-headed semipuz. Well, in a sense, on one side of the table Poroshenko and Yatsenyuk depict heads. And on the other seven kids. Sorry, seven ambassadors. Belly portrayed. This is the first of January in the body. Yesterday our heads drank and ate, and today the belly is in response to a headache.

And the statements? Yes, only for the statements we need to save on the world map. To be not only scary, but funny.

“The President, the Prime Minister and the Head of Parliament assured the G7 ambassadors that they will make joint efforts to carry out reforms in the country.

"The President, the Prime Minister and the Speaker assured us that they will work together and united to carry out reforms in the country," said Shigeki Sumi, the Japanese ambassador to Ukraine, after meeting the diplomats with the country's leadership.

"According to the presidential administration, Petro Poroshenko during a meeting with ambassadors said that the government should be immediately restarted, but the reforming ministers should remain."

And we started a circus. And for some reason, more like a circus contest reprise. You then, in your wisdom, thought that the Ukrainian prime minister ran in tears into his office and wrote a letter of resignation? Yeah ... This is Ukraine!

Infrastructure Minister Andrei Pivovarsky, health care Alexander Kvitashvili, who had submitted resignations earlier, Yury Stets, and the head of the Ministry of Agriculture and Trade, Aleksey Pavlenko, reported on the withdrawal of their statements.

The ministers said they were ready to remain in the government and continue the reforms, provided there was no pressure on them from politicians.

Only Abromavicius refused to withdraw his resignation letter.

It turns out that Kvitashvili, for example, 7 was going to resign for months, and then withdrew the application.

Okay. Brain kneaded. Now more complex task I will give. People with health problems, please prepare medicines.

So, many Ukrainians are very interested in the position, or rather, the posture of the hryvnia. Something is not clear to us how she lives at all. It seems like it is not growing, and you can buy less and less for it. So inflation, her friend, is also not particularly growing.

Thanks to our government. There is someone to explain everything to us. Valeria Gontareva, the one that our main banker. We pretended to understand. And now you read. We'll see who is smarter.

"We have a flexible exchange rate, and I go out every month after the meeting of the monetary committee and tell what will happen ... When I say that we have a current account deficit ... this means that the course does not have the opportunity to strengthen and the risks increase. But I can say that the situation in the CIS countries is worse, because we are under an ambrella. "

"The country of 10 rested for days and now people came out after the holidays and what did they do? We bought the currency!" - explained the head of the regulator.

Gontareva explained that "the fundamental factors affecting the current account of the balance of payments are the devaluation of the currencies of the partner countries, the full trade embargo of Russia and the ban of the Russian Federation on transit to third countries for Ukraine."

Think, dear readers. And I will leave the answer to the end. To keep the intrigue. In the meantime, we will continue to describe what is called our inner life.

The leader of the radical party Lyashko threw us manure into porridge. He does not speak the language at all. What he hears in these, on the sidelines, and all endures. Meli Emelya, your week. But for some reason he often “grinds” about what happens next. Because I am not afraid to quote him.

"How can we increase the retirement age to 70 years, if according to statistics, we have people live on average 62 of the year? Then it is better to cancel the Pension Fund altogether, cancel pension payments that people pay from salaries, and then let everyone collect this money for themselves. But not as it is now, a person pays pension contributions, and then he does not live to retirement age, he is carried forward with his feet to the cemetery. As a result, he did not receive his pension, and he paid pension contributions all his life. "

As you understand, there is no money in the Ukrainian Pension Fund. And the pensioners are still there. But after 70 there are very few of them left. And it seems to me, in the near future, pensioners will be greatly diminished.

This week, "noted" and already forgotten Pan Yarosh. According to the government and the president, it is of course scary today for him to "cut with a sword of truth." But invented. Remember Sashko Bilogo? The one that shot himself with a control in the head. Suicidal phenomenon. It was then that everyone thought that the bandit got his. Gangsters are not like nature. This raven does not eat a raven. And brothers - no problem.

But Yarosh called the exact cause of this suicide (and do not laugh), this is the official version and no one has challenged it.

“It was the answer of some police or prosecutor’s circles to the fact that, among other things, he began to stir up the amber mafia (in the Rivne region), which washes hundreds of millions of dollars. I didn’t know anything about amber, and Sashko I began to delve into these matters and really break the schemes. "

But the main achievement of our government today is a steam locomotive. The one that will force Russia to bite its elbows from the loss of huge money for traveling through its territory. As our economists believed. All provided. And counted 12 days go on a new route for the locomotive. And with what pomp they sent. But the newsreel is not removed.

Only now the locomotive arrived at the final destination as the "Transsiberian express" of the beginning of the 20 century. After 17 days found, poor fellow. And nobody needs such a high-speed train today. But happiness, that we have normal experts. Understood and explained everything to us.

“It was a test flight,” the expert emphasized. “It is launched in order to identify possible problems of this or that logistics scheme, to discover its bottlenecks. And in this context, if all of them could be found on the first trip, the first train performed its task. Thus, we saw that launching the route along the new Silk Road requires effective interaction between the railway administrations of the countries that are participating in the project. "

We understood again. But our minister did not read, probably, the conclusions of these experts. Well, I just wrote.

"... the main problems on the way of movement of the new composition appeared in the Black Sea and on the territory of Kazakhstan: the delay of the ferry due to the storm and the idle station at Zhanaarka due to the inconsistency of actions to pay the Kazakh side."

Well, the storms in the Black Sea at this time are well known. No, everyone who lives nearby knows about the storm season. But Kiev is far away. We only have a storm warning happens. But the waves of the sea somehow did not see. But with the Kazakhs ... Any down-to-earth cockroach will explain to you. Guys, you have to pay for the locomotive. Otherwise, put your cars in the sump, and you will look for them in the afternoon with fire.

But zradnikov found, and right. You can shout "Sailor on Gilyak!" With Kazakhs, only here is dangerous. Offended yet. Who are them, Asians, knows.

Here I am writing to you, I am writing about international recognition of us, but you are not jealous. But today you will surely envy. You never think of such a thing! First time in stories in honor of us, the great ones, they will release a coin in the shape of an egg. To avoid false rumors, chicken eggs. More precisely, the chicken in profile. And our Canadian friends will release it.

"A one-ounce pure silver colored coin (28,35 grams) will be in the form of a traditional Ukrainian painted egg. A Canadian courtyard plans to issue four thousand such copies.

Issue coins scheduled for February 20. Her design was developed by Canadian artist Anna Morafityanin. Each element of the Easter egg is filled with rich symbolic content, in particular, individual colors: yellow means youth and purity, red - joy and passion of life, green - the color of spring brings hope and rebirth, black - symbolizes the dark time before dawn and the idea of ​​eternity. "

Now a little history. Not the one that our historians are constantly digging somewhere out there. A very recent. She, of course, our bosses would gladly forget. But veterans ... Those who got out of the pot, do not give. I'm talking about Debalcevo.

So, another truth that I don’t even know for whom. The truth is now from the chief of staff of the sector "C", Major-General Syrsky.

"As of February, 2015 in sector" C "was roughly the 4600 of the Ukrainian military; they were opposed by the 19 of thousands of Russian-terrorist forces."

"I do not think that the decision to withdraw was made too late. The task was completely fulfilled by these units. The enemy suffered significant losses."

Ukrainian military left Debaltsevo 18 February 2015 of the year. According to the General Staff, 13 military were killed when they left, 90 were captured, 82 went missing. In turn, the DPR said that 3-3,5 thousands of soldiers were killed in Debaltseve.

The difference, as you know, from the category of "well, I'm sorry."

Now I will touch on the topic that caused the most lively disputes after the last notes. As you understand, this is the relationship between a goat and a tiger. It is not for nothing that I compared these relations with the relations of our countries. And the development, it seems to me, will be exactly the same. The tiger will remain a tiger, and the goat the goat. Life does not change. Genetics is also in the taiga genetics.

The goat had fallen out. Removed. Now he will live in his goat little world. And look at the world of the tiger because of the grid.

"Timur feels well. After leaving the hospital, he will be placed in a large park located on the back of Amur Park. Amur and Timur will be able to communicate through the fence," said the director of the safari park Mezentsev.

They say his wife is picked up. There will be a full head of the family. But who is interested in a simple goat in a safari park? Goat is interesting, while living next to a tiger. And next to the other goats ... So here we are. So far with Russia ...

In addition to Kiev, we have other cities preserved. And there is life there too. Therefore, I will tell in brief about that life. I'll start from the west. From Lvov.

The "pravoseki" expelled from Kiev feel at home there. And there their actions are held. The last one is a march in support of political prisoners. About 500 people took part in it. Representatives of the OUN, UNA-UNSO, Right Sector CMS, C-14, Tornado, Sokol, and Karpatskaya Sich battalions.

All that was enough courage is to throw paint at the Roshen shop and hang Poroshenko's stuffed animal on Gilyaku. These are our bold right-wing patriots.

And in Dnepropetrovsk we have an accident. Also from the category of Ukrainian. BTR collided with a tram! No, of course, we can say, so if a plane with a submarine ... If we had them, then yes. I'm about submarines and airplanes. And so, excuse me. What we have, that and face.

Something I did not write to you, to spoil the mood. But I have a stash news and for this occasion. And it concerns you.

On a single portal for publication of draft regulations, a notice appeared about the beginning of the development of the order of the Federal Service for the Regulation of the Alcohol Market (Rosalkogolregulirovanie) on the change in the minimum price for vodka.

The text of the document is not yet available, but Interfax, citing a source in the market, reports that the agency will offer to increase the minimum retail price of a half-liter bottle of vodka from 185 to 190 rub.

The certificate to the document states that the order should enter into force in May 2016.

Earlier it was reported that the Ministry of Economic Development supported the proposal of Rosalkogolregulirovanie to increase the minimum price for a bottle of vodka with a volume of 0,5 liters to 190 rubles.

In February, 2015, the minimum retail price of vodka was reduced from 220 rubles. to 185 rub., due to the need to cut off cheap illegal alcohol.

Earlier today it became known that Deputy Prime Minister Alexander Khloponin declared the government’s readiness to consider the issue of reducing excise taxes on alcohol, again to reduce the share of counterfeit.

So, dear Russians, until after the New Year holidays you have noticed a significant reduction in the price of vodka, you can already ignore the increase in prices. But the only thing I don’t understand is that the price of vodka really worries the Russians? Or my friends some other? Anyway. Cockroaches do not need vodka.

And at the end, as promised, an explanation from the head of our NBU about the fall of the hryvnia. Cockroaches promise fulfill. Gontareva said everything clearly after the completely clear first explanation. So just a quote.

"The decline in the hryvnia exchange rate in the past few days has been caused by fundamental factors - the deterioration of the country's balance of payments due to the unfavorable situation on the world markets for raw materials."

"Seasonal factors are left behind. But the fundamental factors are outside the zone of influence of the NBU. The National Bank does not counteract the influence of fundamental factors."

"A deeper fall in commodity prices will have a negative impact on the balance of payments, which, in turn, may lead to a deeper hryvnia devaluation."

Woodpeckers are said to die from concussion. It is understandable. Knocking with a beak all life on a tree not everyone can. But here are the people? Why do they “beat their heads” against the walls? Why not see what we see? What they see all around. That's why I called these notes "The Woodpecker on Concrete." Only a man can be like that.

But to you, my dear readers, this does not apply. Not all birds are woodpeckers. And not all people are "woodpeckers on concrete." So see you again. Good luck in your endeavors. And do not get "on concrete."

Think, think, think!
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  1. meriem1
    meriem1 8 February 2016 07: 33
    "The President, Prime Minister and Speaker assured us that they will work together and united to carry out reforms in the country," Japanese Ambassador to Ukraine Shigeki Sumi said after meeting with diplomats with the country's leadership.

    Promising to make an effort does not mean doing it .... As well as promising to marry. How small are these "diplomats" of pocket countries. Isn't there even a drop of dignity left? Then the whole truth will come out into the white light and they will shyly avert their eyes ... Ugh. Disgusting ((((
    1. cniza
      cniza 8 February 2016 07: 44
      The theater of the absurd, how it all ends is about understandable, but who will disentangle it all? USA hopes that Russia.
  2. parusnik
    parusnik 8 February 2016 07: 44
    And on the other seven kids. Sorry, seven ambassadors.... "Goats" is probably a verb?
    1. domokl
      domokl 8 February 2016 07: 50
      Quote: parusnik
      "Goats" is probably a verb?

      Decent comment
      1. homedition
        homedition 8 February 2016 12: 13
        This is from a joke about a wolf, which seven kids.
  3. Volga Cossack
    Volga Cossack 8 February 2016 07: 52
    Thanks Tarakasha !!!! SMILE AGAIN !!! but about the engine smiled all week, but the main thing because they explained ?????))))))
  4. Egoza
    Egoza 8 February 2016 07: 52
    Dear Cockroach, how can the brain not bear it? Vaughn, Eka Zguladze, who is Avakov's deputy, at a celebration in Odessa, greeted the local police, oh, the police and said, "I know that there are many real professionals among you. I will READ them" so the policemen think, whether they will be protected , or clean up. belay
    Well, our "patriots" oh-oh-oh not only paint Roshen ...
    About 1000 representatives of UNA-UNSO, punitive battalions "Carpathian Sich", "Tornado", "Aydar", the Right Sector DUK * announced today at a rally in the center of Lviv the holding of the anti-government protest rally on February 20 in Kiev.
    The action will be held with the demand to release and close criminal cases against former participants of the ATO, who are now detained. Among them, for example, the organizers of the blockade of Crimea from the PS were mentioned, who subsequently staged bloodshed in Transcarpathia.
    “I ask you - let's get together the 20 numbers not to talk, but get together,” the speaker said, addressing the participants in the rally in Lviv.
    He called to recall the words of the musician Kuzma Scriabin, who shortly before his death issued a video appeal calling for the execution of the Verkhovna Rada, because if the people's deputies were not shot, then Ukrainians would be bad

    And even ohhhhhhh announced a coup !!!! repeat

    "Right Sector" * considers the Maidan a coup. This was stated on Ukrainian television by the head of the press service of the extremist organization Aleksey Byk.
    To the host’s question whether the “Right Sector” is being maintained for the money of economically interested entities, he answered:
    “Who started talking? Avakov, M. Moskal. Al and others, I apologize for my French “nonhumans” who took their seats after the Maidan, which, in essence, was a coup d'etat, then telling them that this is an illegal formation is definitely incorrect ”, - he said.
    As previously reported by Russkaya Vesna, the chief military prosecutor of Ukraine, Anatoly Matios, stated that the Right Sector DKK was an illegal armed group.
  5. Hooks
    Hooks 8 February 2016 07: 55
    "The situation in the CIS countries is worse, because we are under ambrella" Here! Here it is that everyone so wanted to know! Now Viktor Ivanov (the head of Gosnarkokontrol) has all the cards in his hands !!!
  6. rotmistr60
    rotmistr60 8 February 2016 08: 05
    But listen to them Kovtun, who does not get out of our political talk shows, everything is fine with them, and Russia should worry about its possible disintegration and the sanctions imposed with the active participation of their Ukrainians. In the minds of a solid mess, in the hands of weapons, the economy is in full rubble, the country is controlled from the US Embassy, ​​but it turns out everything is going well and according to plan. One would like to ask - whose plan is it?
  7. Scud
    Scud 8 February 2016 08: 56
    The dull obstinacy of us, the Ukrainians simply leads to a clinch. What can we say about advanced youth, if my teacher, who scolds Putin for 70, from the pre and pre in the Donbass, immediately curses Waltzman for the wild prices of medicines and products. And no one can or does not want to compare life under the dictator Yanukovych. Crest is a diagnosis.
    1. domokl
      domokl 8 February 2016 09: 04
      Since the beginning of the Maidan, we have been talking here that, alas, words never reach people. Like a minibus. It is written "A place to hit the head" and all the same, everyone is hammering ... Probably, the Ukrainians still have to drink the cup to the bottom. And humiliation and blood. To understand. not to the people, but to each individual person.
  8. Mestny
    Mestny 8 February 2016 09: 40
    Quote: domokl
    . Probably, Ukrainians still have to drink the cup to the bottom. And humiliation and blood. To understand. not to the people, but to every single person.

    It is possible that we all will have to drink this cup. And Europeans and Americans, and the rest.
    I really do not want to.
  9. Nikolay71
    Nikolay71 8 February 2016 09: 55
    If you can’t do something, the main thing is to explain everything correctly, and more importantly, on time. This skill is possessed not only by Ukrainian bankers and ministers, but also ours, and indeed in any country in the world.
  10. For PV
    For PV 8 February 2016 10: 34
    "The tiger will remain a tiger, and the goat will remain a goat. Life cannot be changed."
    Better not to say.
  11. Corsair0304
    Corsair0304 8 February 2016 12: 58
    The article smiled. Especially as Parashenka’s ambassadors were built and as a rabbit in the Rada I tried to quietly and peacefully jump)) They, there, on the outskirts, dragged some Swedes to the government. Like, a magic wand will come and everyone will stop stealing money! Where is a Swede stuck in Kazakhstan like a Ukrainian steam engine, for which they didn’t pay or, apparently, talked to his predecessors about the same ... they were trying to put him in there, but he said in figs, in figs such happiness!
  12. Igor V
    Igor V 8 February 2016 13: 30
    Is the chief banker allowed to go out to the journalists "under the ambrella"?
  13. xBoris
    xBoris 8 February 2016 14: 41
    ..the good news from our thought and those at the helm are slowly beginning to direct their thoughts towards the Maidan spring .. It hurts a lot of "good" news against the backdrop of a worsening world situation, the falling ruble, delays in the payment of child benefits and other joys in life.
    Something hard year begins .. hard.
    And statements about excise taxes on sugar and fats - well, it's a white and fat death .. garbage tax (remember Cipollino and the rain tax ..?) Soon they will impose a tax on exhalation .. With or without garlic ...
    Campaign, all woodpeckers begin spring exacerbation.
    Peace to you and your home .. =)
  14. Olegmog
    Olegmog 8 February 2016 17: 26
    Tarakasha, at first I read you with interest. And now more and more with
    sadness! I would like to return to Nazat, for twenty years.
    Yes, probably do not glue the cup! It will not be as it was ...!
  15. domokl
    domokl 8 February 2016 17: 52
    Damn .... I probably won't be original. The cattle, once again the cattle and the cattle are being chased .... I always got a C, even at the "hello to a complete hangover" ... Something reminds me that I shouldn't have hit my old age ... you can't drink and live the experience
  16. sapper2
    sapper2 8 February 2016 18: 56
    Enchanting ...........-from top to bottom. It can not be cured by anything other than deep poverty and terror from the Nazis. And to the very throat, to nausea. And so that another year after that tore the whole country. Enlightenment in the brain is guaranteed.
  17. Balagan
    Balagan 8 February 2016 20: 24
    When everything settles down, Tarakasha needs to make a good book out of his notes! good
  18. Olfred
    Olfred 9 February 2016 07: 26
    Thank you Cockroach! It would be funny if it weren't so sad. it seems that both your and our "economists" are being poured from the same barrel. especially killed
    because we are under the umbrellas
    she wanted to say under the amber ??? laughing
  19. Belousov
    Belousov 9 February 2016 10: 03
    Hmm, the ministers wanted to get off the citizens, but it didn’t work out. Or another option - undercover games, the ministers crossed the road, they threatened to leave, and actually lose control of the plundering of the country by the West. So the ministers of foreign affairs gathered, gave valuable instructions to Poroshenko and Yatsenyuk, so that your competitors would be removed from the road.