Military Review

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. A goat is always a goat!

Greetings to you, my dear readers. Life goes on. So, and cockroaches have not gone away. Therefore, you do not want to read you my notes today, but you have to. This is not a threat. This confidence in your desire to be aware of our events. Yes, and I somehow can not without you. It is interesting to read the comments later.

Let's start. And let's start with who is to blame for these notes today. In particular, about ... women. The fact is that cockroaches are just like people. Men solve global issues. Well, like, is there life in other galaxies. Or there, whether global warming threatens us. And women - every little thing. Like the way to feed the family. Or how to equip your own mink. Hence the set of interests. We are politics and sport, and for women there are TV shows and all sorts of sentimental talk shows about broken hearts.

But last month has changed the picture of women's interests completely. And Russia, as always, is to blame for this. More precisely, Seaside Park. And more precisely, the tiger and the goat, who, with some sort of binge, began to live together. Like friends in misfortune. Both are arrested for life and are now forced to share a cell for the rest of their days.

Conversations among the female population, not only of Kiev, but of the whole world, today only revolve around this couple. What ate? Who is in charge? Well and further in this spirit. Endless, as we thought, the series And so, it began. Arrogant Timur still forced Amur to show who is who in this pair. One slight blow to the brazen face and ... stress and treatment from veterinarians. And if Cupid claws showed? Probably, the insolent skin would already have become scraps.

I watched this video, and I understood. Here they are. Here are the relations between Russia and Ukraine. The tiger, most likely out of boredom, decided to look at the life of a goat. A sort of academic Pavlov among Amur tigers.

And this goat, realizing that they were not going to eat him, began to become impudent. Well, what to take with him, a goat - he is in a cage goat. Started downloading rights. Yes, and visitors to the park were like for him. The whole world is with us! Nothing like? Exactly. And me too.

Only here the tiger's patience began to run out. And he wanted to spit on this very "whole world". Once paw moved. Once! Result? Goat in shock. It turned out that the horns and the other "army" of the goat only fit, that to show off in front of other goats. Well, your own conceit.

Okay. Now about us, loved ones. Ukraine lived another week. And I must say, she lived happily.

What I once wrote about was not enough to go as far as Ukrainian society. Began to creep out the facts that the Ukrainian media so carefully concealed. Yes, and we ourselves did not want to believe in what our fighters do. You read it right! Ukrainians really did not want to believe in the facts that periodically appeared in the press and on Internet resources.

The first shock for the ukropatriot is the heroic combat commander Semen Semenchenko. The heroic service in the ATO zone of this “officer” was widely known throughout Ukraine. True, his fighters sometimes talked about the personal cowardice of the battalion commander. About the many casualties among his soldiers. About stupidity and incompetence Semenchenko, as an officer.

But, on the other hand, the Order of courage from the hands of President Poroshenko personally. Company in the media. The new hero of Ukraine. Deputies in the Rada. And the position there is not easy. Yes, and the image of a fighter against corruption and the enemies of Ukraine among the officials.

That got to it. In short, every cricket know your hearth. And do not go into the microwave. Semenchenko did not understand this. And paid. It turned out that the temporary certificate of a reserve officer was issued to him illegally. And he is a fake officer. By order of 22 in December last year, he was transferred from the “reserve captains” to the “reserve soldiers”. Now, all of Ukraine wonders whether they will plant or not. Still, gentleman and deputy. Although, according to our Criminal Code, the use of forged documents faces three years of a normal Ukrainian prison.

It is equally interesting with the company "Tornado". The one that blocked the supply channels to the east and from the east of all sorts of things. Well, like, coal and other building materials. These “wind guards” really believed that someone wanted to win ... Or they decided to force someone to share. Well, we dare to.

Just a joke. But the 9 man is already on trial. Marauders and robbers. Yes, and mocked the residents of Donbass. And 15 is a wanted man. Not a national guard, but a gang on a gang and a gangster controlled. And it says the Ukrainian prosecutor's office. Not prosecutors of the republics, but Kiev Square. Somehow everything turns out exactly the opposite. What the LDNR said, quite exists in the Ukrainian National Guard.

And in the APU with the liberators are not very. Again, the prosecutor's office reports. Valiant scout APU arrested for robbery and kidnapping. Shop took fighter. Why? Automatic there, ammo sea. Came, shot the ceiling, took 14 thousand hryvnia from the cash register, and the cashier. He sat in someone else's car with the owner and was like that. True, those three, which he captured, can not be found. But they are like padded jackets. Though they lived on the Ukrainian territory.

And all this information but on the immature brains Svidomo ... backhand. Even our embroidery was quiet, does not know what to do. Pravosekov prizhuchili. Our fighters actually turned out to be bandyukas. Heroes - pacifiers. What is being done? So go, and Ukraine will become a fait state.

But there are positive news. And they also concern our army and fleet. I'll start with the fleet. Admirals became scared! There are more admirals than at least some ships. And the posts are bread. Salary is nothing. They will not send to the anti-terrorist operation (tension with the sea in the Donbass).

In short, our main "sea wolf" spoke to the people. And how made! They say that the Pentagon is already developing an agreement on friendship and cooperation between the American and Ukrainian fleets. Scared stellar. And in Moscow frantically leafing through the price lists of shipbuilders. Need to order for the last money ships for the Black Sea.

"Our plans provide for the restoration of submarine forces as part of two to four submarines before 2020. Submarine forces must become the elite of the fleet and an important combat, moral-psychological and deterrent factor in the region"

This is how it is. Scared? And then ... Our commander in chief of the Navy, Admiral Haiduk, can anyone intimidate anyone! Today, according to this very Haiduk, the main task is to decide how to arm submarines.

The truth is a simple question. And what will we build? Submarines are different, small and large. Atomic and diesel. I am not an expert. Even next to the boat was not like this. And the second question. Where to build? Not the Soviet Union with us. Then we even could build aircraft carriers. Today, only rubber boats ... buy.

Haiduk also said that taking into account the peculiarities of the hydrology and the depth of the Black Sea, "this can be ultra-small, small or even medium-sized submarines, including on leasehold."

That's where the cockroach lives. We will not build. We rent - that's all. And about the ultra-small, too, is understandable. You do not remember, and we, cockroaches, remember. In April last year, our chocolate lover announced the revival of the Ukrainian Navy. And not just about rebirth. And also bring this fleet to the standards of NATO. And which NATO country will give us serious boats for rent? None Itself is necessary.

Well, for admirals. They calculated how many people today in our fleet. So here. We need as many 30 units of at least some boats. One average boat costs the same as a few tiny ones. Just enough for everyone.

Now the storm season is over, and we will start building berths for the Navy.

Another peremoga we have is "Antonov". Finally decided to destroy this monster. What is the use of it if it cannot build airplanes? No accessories. And without Russia there is no place to sell. And the plants hoo hoo! I mean, big ones! The workshops are really huge.

Well, imagine the result of a year. Report, so to speak, about the work done. "Antonov" - for the year built one or two aircraft. And some tiny aircraft factory in Krasnoyarsk. Built 20 or there 30 aircraft. And where is Peremoga? No piece peremoga!

And now, after the elimination of this monster, step on Grace! Will produce some drones, and they are small. Let the biggest 10 on 10 meters. And how many of them can be collected at the same time in the workshop where the “Mriya” were collected? Vooot ...

So the next report of the former "Antonov" will definitely be restrained. For the year collected 100, no, 200 aircraft. Krasnoyarsk will die of envy. In short, the Russian aircraft industry will be confounded and discredited completely. And nobody will even buy yours these PACKs.

Today they talk a lot about judicial and other reforms. We are reforming everyone. It is all. Here the military prosecutor's office has now opened a new case. And he will bring it to court for sure, but oh how great it will be.

Remember the times of all there revolutions and referendums? Well, the Kiev revolution is still outside of prosecutorial interests. But the Crimea ... It is just in the teeth of our prosecutor's office. There we ... considered, counted, and counted. Those who did not go against the people. Those who met with honor after the Maidan. "Golden Eagle" is different and other sailor soldiers. They did not want to serve Ukraine. Crimeans are they, you see.

So here. Now we will search for them. One and all. And attract. To this, to responsibility. For desertion. Only here there is a problem. About which they try not to talk with us. These same deserters now serve in the same place as before. Only now they serve. I mean, they learn to fight, not to peel potatoes. Yes and weapon they have better equipment than our prosecutors. Probably, they will not agree to “arrest”. But this is not the main thing. The main thing - all 8000 wanted to announce.

With technical equipment and with the preparation of specialists we, however, have problems. "Alpha" of ours here recently, the Vietnamese face crushed a little face. Well, the one that the SBU. And according to the old Kiev tradition on Grushevsky street. Only in Odessa. Can rename it from trouble away?

So here. Our "Alpha" decided to search the Vietnamese. In the residential complex "Lotos". They waited, it means when the tenants will leave for business, and more. Doors knock out, shake things up. "A large number of masked people open apartments and search without tenants."

But the Vietnamese were once slain on the Mordasov by the Americans themselves. And seriously so. You look at them, it's a pity even. I would like to immediately give the last piece of Polish fat. But there too.

In short, let down our "Alpha" phone. And who thought it up ... head would turn away. Found out, then, the Vietnamese about these searches. Returned and ... kicked, you know, the special forces were kicked out of the hostel. It's a shame ... And the ambassador was informed. It seems to create chaos.

But our knowing bread with bacon and tsibulei eat. They broke through the Vietnamese barrier to their two cars. Break away from the enemy. The ambassador arrived, and there was no one there. Peremoga!

I have some military notes today. And our life is still civil. And the news should also be civil. In general - correcting.

We had a terrible problem. You do not even believe what. Everyone has become accustomed to the fact that with energy we always have tension. That gas is not, then coal. In short, there is always something missing. And here is the opposite situation. Do not believe it - nowhere to go.

We blocked, then the Crimea. Everybody there Donetsk overlapped oxygen. To know. So they learned. They took such rastaks, and stopped taking electricity from us. Just think, a couple of supports undermined. Could and suffer. Now what? CHP and TPP idle. Energy has nowhere to go. And the equipment is not only worth the money, it’s necessary to maintain it. And the workers are not yet fully transferred to the communist wage system. You have to pay. With what? No money left.

Run now our energy. They are looking for someone to break the electricity. Belarus, Moldova or Poland? Theoretically, you can and Russia. Only for some reason the Russians were offended for the Crimea.

Now about yourself. More precisely, on the people of Kiev. We, too, are preparing another peremogu zradnuyu. Little we pay for the heat. Very little. Previously, 531 hryvnia per kcal, now we are 594. And you know why? Here you never guess. What are you paying for? That's right for warm batteries. But you must? And it should be like this: in Ukrainian. Separately, the cost of this very Kkala, in the sense of kilocalories, separately for its transportation. Well, separately for the delivery to your apartment. And everything will fall into place. That is, it is possible to blame another increase in the final price.

Well, finally. Our favorite topic. About oil. Shuddered dear? And rightly so. Only about you later. In the beginning about us. So, Ukraine due to the fall in oil prices will lose about 4 billion hryvnia profit.

"Only by reducing the price of oil under-budget revenues from rent can amount to 4 billion UAH per year, while the plan is 7,8 billion UAH. That is, half of it is at risk. This is on condition that production volumes remain"

And you thought that only Russia depends on oil? True, and we thought so. It happens...

By the way. I almost forgot to tell about our democracy. And do not laugh, we have such a democracy that democracy will show any democracy. Do not believe? And in vain.

Have you ever heard of Putin being fined for talking on the phone while driving? Or Medvedev? Also no. And someone from their family? Voooot ...

And we have the wife of the whole Prime Minister finesanuli. This is how simple it is. The boy from the "Police Academy" waved his wand and ... everything. Fine! 425 take out, yes give. And rightly so. And then fine Parasyuk already moveton, people do not pin Parasyuk this.

I think today you have enough information. Digest. Have a nice day. Health to you and your loved ones. And I'll go glue the boat. We have a new attack coming. The flood. Snow piled up. We do not have time to remove. And now is warming. Already residents warned. You are big. And the cockroaches? Washes to hell. Then you wake up in the Crimea.

See you next time!
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  1. rotmistr60
    rotmistr60 1 February 2016 06: 47
    But this goat, realizing that they were not going to eat it, began to become impudent

    Great comparison. To be honest, I was going to bring him myself, but only in relation to the west. The life of "Amur" and "Timur" determined by fate is a visual aid to the relationship between the West and Russia, where the West acts as a goat. And, I will tell you, an insolent goat who has completely lost his sense of proportion once deciding that if he is treated kindly, then everything is allowed to him. In nature, as in politics, sooner or later, everything occupies its own niche - someone becomes full, and someone is eaten.
    1. amirbek
      amirbek 1 February 2016 07: 38
      Quote: rotmistr60
      someone becomes full, and someone is eaten.

      I put on February 16
      1. hedgehog in the fog
        hedgehog in the fog 1 February 2016 15: 31
        the author of the young man clearly compared everything, to be honest, such an analogy didn’t even occur to me.
  2. 33 Watcher
    33 Watcher 1 February 2016 06: 55
    Have you ever heard of Putin being fined for talking on the phone while driving? Or Medvedev? Also no. And someone from their family? Voooot ...

    We heard Kadyrov’s for an unfastened seat belt, like, fined, recently laughing Ours can also democratically anneal laughing So what: For the same democracy drinks laughing Smiled in the morning smile
    1. domokl
      domokl 1 February 2016 07: 11
      repeat Kadyrov seems to be fined on the Internet. I posted the video and got ... But in fact, our democracy is also nothing laughing
  3. Stinger
    Stinger 1 February 2016 07: 40
    Now humor in Ukraine has not died, so not everything is lost. The circus will leave with the clowns. Sooner or later. Thanks to the author.
  4. Masya masya
    Masya masya 1 February 2016 07: 46
    "They decided to marry the goat Timur the goat Merkel" - vz laughing
  5. as150505
    as150505 1 February 2016 07: 46
    Gorgeous comparison of a goat with a tiger and Russia with Ukraine. Respect for the author
  6. vyinemeynen
    vyinemeynen 1 February 2016 07: 51
    as always a great article. Thank.
  7. parusnik
    parusnik 1 February 2016 07: 58
    How funny ... and then something ..? .. So you’ll go to the slaughter and ..?
    1. Ros 56
      Ros 56 1 February 2016 09: 36
      Quote: parusnik
      So you will go to the slaughter ..?

      And you will not live on the moon. Stop crying, you need to move. For starters, at least write to ONF.
  8. Mountain shooter
    Mountain shooter 1 February 2016 08: 00
    Thanks Tarakashechka. Have fun in the morning. She smiled especially for the goat. Lucky to get to know the tiger and did not gobble up - behave yourself. Do not be impudent. But, he is in Africa ...
    1. lex locis
      lex locis 1 February 2016 11: 25
      Old parable (incidentally refers to the Ruin):
      Severe frost, sparrows fly and falls on the fly and lies, cannot move, freezes.
      A horse goes by. Heaps a heap on a sparrow. Sparrow warmed up in manure, amused, sits, bastards, tweets something funny.
      A fox walked past. She took a sparrow out of shit and ate ....
      1. Not everyone who cheated on you is an enemy ...
      2. Not everyone who pulled you out of THIS is a friend ....
      3. If it so happened that you were cheated, then sit and don’t tweet ...

      And the Ruin is already croaking loudly ...
  9. Volga Cossack
    Volga Cossack 1 February 2016 08: 05
    how to equip submarines - their question is to bother))))) but I wonder - what kind of boats ????? of which dumb))))) thanks Tarakasha - smiling !!!!
    1. orphan 63
      orphan 63 1 February 2016 16: 59

      lolThe surface fleet is in the red, and the submarine is immediately in the black ... tongue They have everything there in Mazepia - where the zrada is, in the same place they overpowered ...
      1. demchuk.ig
        demchuk.ig 1 February 2016 18: 39
        Their commander didn’t have time to tell us about how powerful the submarine fleet will be and those are already replenishing! Damn, they will catch up with us and surpass us at such a pace!
  10. Pre-cat
    Pre-cat 1 February 2016 08: 06
    Did the American "Delta" train "Alpha" SBU? The one that got soup in Iran and Nicaragua?
  11. Bayonet
    Bayonet 1 February 2016 08: 24
    Have fun with your life. God forbid you have so much fun.
  12. V.ic
    V.ic 1 February 2016 08: 31
    Vladimir Vysotsky. About the scapegoat
    In the reserve, that's where I forgot
    Once upon a time there were long horns
    Though he lived with wolves, he didn’t howl like a wolf,
    He bleated songs, but all the goats.
    And he plucked the grass, and walked his sides,
    Do not hear a bad word from him.
    The sense was from him, however, as from a goat of milk,
    But harm, however, is also no.
    He lived on a pasture near a lake
    Without invading someone else’s possessions.
    But noticed a modest goat
    And they were chosen for absolution.
    For example, a bear, a balamut and a rogue,
    Cheating on someone like a bear
    They’ll find a goat at once, bring it and beat it,
    On his horns, and between him ...
    He did not resist, gray, violence with evil,
    And he carried the beating cheerfully and proudly,
    The bear himself said: "Guys, I'm proud of the goat,
    Heroic personality, goat face! "
    They kept the goat like an heir.
    A ban even came out in the forest
    From the reserve
    Let go of the scapegoat.
    And he rode everything to himself with a goat,
    But he began to fool around secretly,
    He knotted his beard somehow
    From the bushes he called the wolf a bastard.
    And when he received another absolution,
    All because the wolves bit off too much,
    He, as if by chance, growled like a bear,
    But then they did not pay attention ...
    While the predators fought among themselves,
    The reserve strengthened the opinion
    What is more expensive than all bears and foxes
    Dear absolution.
    I heard, and became such:
    Hey, you brown ones, screams, light-piebald.
    I'll take your wolves ration
    And bearish privileges.
    I’ll show you a real goat face in the forest,
    I will sign back and forth on the stencil.
    I’ll wrap everyone on the horns and tear them apart
    And I will glorify all over the world.
    Not one of you will eat the earth,
    All die without forgiveness.
    Forgiving sins to whom - it's up to me
    This is me, absolution.
    In the reserve, that's where I forgot
    The ball doesn’t continue,
    He lived with wolves and howled like a wolf
    And now he screams like a bear.
    And the kid kids rolled up their sleeves
    And they went to fleece the she-wolves in fluff and shreds.
    Why shy now if their head
    From a forest lion has powers.
    He suddenly felt the sharpness of the horns
    And goat inspiration.
    Wolverines and foxes, bears, wolves
    Turned into a scapegoat.
  13. Anita
    Anita 1 February 2016 08: 51
    I read the notes and make sure that what was said is true - "The world survived because it laughed" (the author, alas, I don't know)
  14. Hooks
    Hooks 1 February 2016 09: 21
    Why have the children not yet thought of introducing the column "rolled - 500 hryvnias" in the payment system?
    1. Suhow
      Suhow 1 February 2016 21: 36
      the graph was rolled-500UAH, they didn’t enter a bo for us. May we have a shortcut (improvements in the future), and you declassified the surprise like that ... peermoghaaa !!!
  15. trophy
    trophy 1 February 2016 09: 43
    Well, with Saman, and so everything was clear. He has a diagnosis written on his head, such people are not taken into astronauts. But AN is a pity, such a thing is in the bud. Ushlepok, one word.
    1. Siberian1965
      Siberian1965 1 February 2016 18: 55
      On the face. Of course, in vain this hero took off his mask. And here, that Kraintsy began to understand something there - big doubts.
    2. Suhow
      Suhow 1 February 2016 21: 39
      new friends cannot make such beauties or beauties (Ruslan, Mriya) and what for they are competitors ... Perhaps later these projects will be sold to the Chinese inexpensively ...
  16. wandlitz
    wandlitz 1 February 2016 09: 50
    Yesterday I heard from TV that some caring citizens want to provide a goat with a goat ... And call her Merkel. I would also suggest that if they had offspring they should call the black kid Obama and settle for a start in the animal hut ....
  17. Nikolay71
    Nikolay71 1 February 2016 10: 28
    Thanks Cockroach! As always on the level!
  18. Monster_Fat
    Monster_Fat 1 February 2016 11: 02
    Oh well. I read "cockroach" and it seems like I want to "have fun", so "bad" and "funny" in Ukraine, but it is not clear why these are Ukrainians who came to Russia on the one hand to escape from troubles, and on the other hand to make money, suddenly sharply pulled back to their Ukraine? Here in our company several people have already left and the rest are going to leave. Why? They say that the job is not so bad there, as they say here - you can get a job with the same money, but life there is cheaper - the rent is much cheaper, food is also cheaper, and if you work on the road, it's better to go to Poland, etc. EU to go than to Russia, there are no problems with "patents", "registration", "renting apartments", etc. And in Russia it has become quite "dreary" for Ukrainians - the prices for everything are as if by leaps and bounds, salaries are not only raised , so they also cut it down, and in "dollar terms" they became less than they earn in "Zimbabwe", pay for the "patent", you don't want to, and you have to unfasten 4000 a month in any case, pay 12-15000 for an apartment and what remains? Plus all sorts of "checks" press ... Something does not see, however, the "cockroach" - "blurred" you can see his eyes, "works for the public" ... And "funny" stories about "how bad everything is" each of us can train "a hundred" from his gateway. Only, already to me personally, these stories are not at all funny ...
    1. domokl
      domokl 1 February 2016 14: 11
      I talked on this issue with one of such zarobitchan ... I'll try to reproduce ... True, he is a very good specialist and makes very good money.
      The salary is both the same and 1000oiro. but in Germany I pay approximately 600-650 taxes, rents and other fees. In Russia, this is just 100-150 oiro.
      I don’t know whether he is right or not, but ... For what I bought, for that I am selling you ...
  19. koralvit
    koralvit 1 February 2016 11: 21
    The cockroach is small, but its head is large and it thinks soberly. Only and here is the star-striped state "Colorado".
    1. domokl
      domokl 1 February 2016 14: 07
      The cockroach once answered this question already ... I’m disappointed, but it has nothing to do with the overseas state ... you can say Kiev laughing
  20. uav80
    uav80 1 February 2016 12: 34
    Something like this...
  21. iv-nord
    iv-nord 1 February 2016 14: 12
    1. domokl
      domokl 1 February 2016 14: 50
      laughing Last year it was reported that in Novosibirsk, the ANs are modernizing. By the way, the AN-2 was created exactly there. And in Krasnoyarsk, cars are more serious
      1. iv-nord
        iv-nord 1 February 2016 16: 59
  22. xBoris
    xBoris 1 February 2016 14: 49
    ++ !! - Lubo, Lubo .. Tarakanych ... =))
    You read - straight, the mood rises. No, not from the fact that somewhere there something fell .. or was lost, but from pep and resentment. In general, from a view of life and .. events.
    We are warmly dressed, but no, no .. but we have to spit on the screen or newspaper. Well, when a particularly arrogant erysipelas, there or .. what other physiognomy of the idea of ​​masterpieces will push or what else it boasts. You want to not .. and the real salary in terms of greens almost cringed. No .. the products, of course, are not so strong, but all kinds of pieces of iron that can only be made with Sino-European hands are yes .. After all, with us, only AKM and tanks with planes are good. They can’t turn their left-handed people towards microscopes or nanoscopes .. whatever cars or human clothes can do there ... not to mention small electronics.
    Yes, and with the Oil Ship, somehow it doesn’t turn out very well .. It seems like there should be darkness, but everything dissolves somewhere on the way to the treasury. The country is big .. There are a lot of biases for money, you see, spread and soak in places.
    Close, would be in the same bank mishandled the Odessa governor with ours, those who are at the helm - to learn from. He can teach our CHAPTERs how to chew ties so that they would stop stealing all organs and putting them in a pocket.
  23. Balagan
    Balagan 1 February 2016 17: 55
    He himself filmed on January 5, 2016. The scandal did not bode anything yet, although everyone was waiting and even wanted to see with their own eyes how one of them would gobble up the other.
    Let's wait until the banderlogs begin to eat each other.
  24. rubidiy
    rubidiy 1 February 2016 18: 32
    Thanks, neighing. hi
  25. dimunder
    dimunder 1 February 2016 22: 41
    Once again, respect to the cockroach!))) How is your cockroach doing there? But my darling Tom, everyone is interested in how the cockroach looks at your opuses?))) Doesn’t it announce a bycot and suspension from the body))) All the same, they are women and women in Africa)))