Military Review

Country 404. Article from the Ukrainian newspaper for 30 December 2015 of the year

Independent Ukraine is moving by leaps and bounds along the path of building developed capitalism. The people, led by President Petro Poroshenko and Prime Minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk, have been destroying the legacy of the bloody enslavement of the country by the Russian aggressors for two years now.

The disgraceful true Ukrainian Katsapsky factories and plants were successfully destroyed. Closed mines. True, this was accompanied by great dissatisfaction with the quilted jackets, which, you see, worked there. But the president with a firm hand pointed out the inadmissibility of the work of these enterprises. Inadmissibility bordering on national treachery. All these plants worked on the aggressor country. And they were created just for this.

The same fundamental changes have occurred in the field of social policy. Russian occupants for a long time specifically fed the old men with cash handouts in the form of pensions. So that the old people with their long life worsened the demographic situation in the country and did not let them carry out great reforms. At the cost of incredible efforts, the government managed to break this vicious practice. Now there is no humiliating simple Ukrainian old pension. True, the name remains. But Arseniy Yatsenyuk had to go to this to preserve the mental health of the older generation.

Donbass and Crimea remain a huge problem of our young state. But if the problem with the Donbas can be solved in a radical way, to destroy those pseudo-Ukrainians who live there with missiles, shells, bullets, the Crimea has become an unhealing wound in the heart of every Ukrainian.

Meanly captured by the locals, who have always been the hidden enemies of our independence, this peninsula brazenly fled to Russia. Ran literally. Together with newspapers, factories and steamboats.

What just did not do the Kiev authorities. The channel was dug up so that fresh water would not go there. So local invaders well drilled. Now they have the same water ... Black Sea. And the weather repeatedly betrayed the Ukrainians. Rain, snow.

Thought to turn off the gas and electricity. But the cunning Kremlin leaders have foreseen this. They deliver this very gas and light to our beloved Ukraine. So turn off the Crimea - disconnect us.

The most patriotic Ukrainians from among the Crimean Tatars once went on the heroic blockade of the Crimea. Shut off the supply of products. Any Ukrainian knows that 80% of products in the Crimean stores are brought from the mainland. But the Crimean mafia organized the delivery of products by secret paths and the sea. And the Ukrainians delivered all this.

Another achievement of our leadership was the reduction of trade. Both external and internal. And not on any interest. Factor of! During the occupation of Ukraine, the Russians formed in the eyes of the world community a stable image of the Ukrainians as a fat, good-natured bastard who is committed only to devouring dumplings in sour cream with hundreds. The reduction in trade led to the fact that the dumplings began to eat less. Not to mention sour cream.

And the second achievement of this reduction. Liquidated class bloodsuckers-businessmen. Small as mosquitoes. And medium, like bats. The logic of our government is quite understandable. The more of these very small and medium-sized businessmen, the more people need to distribute the profits. Therefore, the statistics of our achievements will be worse.

And now, as it should be in the pre-Christmas article, about our future victories. The first, the most awaited, of course, an FTA with the EU. Since January 1, Ukraine will be flooded with cheap western goods across the rooftops of rural households. Theoretically, Europe can also get our goods. But for this we need to certify them according to European standards. So, no matter how Europeans would like Ukrainian sausage, they will not get it yet. Like everything else. But these are problems of Europeans. Our president takes care of the Ukrainians.

For a long time, the thought that we are the breadbasket of huge Russia was laid in the brain of Ukrainians. Not in the rules of our publication to hide the truth. Many even now, after so many victories, believe in it. Some, especially patriotic ones, hope to get away with growing up in a garden or in a country house instead of fine European products.

The government specifically for such pseudo-patriots adopts a decree according to which taxes for land lease will increase from January 1. And, like all the reforms of our government, the increase will be not in percentages, but in times. And not in two or three. And once in 30 times and more. Especially if the land is used as agricultural. Especially lucky for those involved in animal husbandry. So, for example, a plot for grazing in 25 ga will now cost the farmer 500 000 hryvnia per year.

By the way, the land lease will be increased for all users without exception. From public restroom to private house or garage. Every Ukrainian now feels like a millionaire. Especially in the tax office.

Happy New Year to you! Let European products and European values ​​replace the occupational fat and pseudo-Ukrainian borscht! And on our lands freed from the burden of growing buckwheat and other grasses, let poppies bloom as symbols of our independence!

PS How this article got on the table is unknown. Time Machine? And who knows ... I definitely do not have it. But what is written there, I read more recently in the Ukrainian edition (

Indeed, many Ukrainians today in their posts write that Ukraine will be saved by agriculture. But here in Kiev and his hands reached out to him. And not only to the farmers. Even to homestead plots and cooperative parking lots and garages.

The government of Yatsenyuk intends to soon create a land market in Ukraine. Well, with such taxes, this market will not be difficult to create. Only now agriculture will not be Ukrainians. And owning the land is also not Ukrainians. But the people want it that way. So it will be so.

I'm afraid soon the mocking "Sala Ukraine!" turn into a real revolutionary radical slogan.

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  1. major071
    major071 19 November 2015 06: 19 New
    Bravo to the author! Taking off my hat hi And so it is necessary to write about Ukraine - with evil humor, turning everything upside down, which happens in Ukraine itself, where the wish is given out for the real, and failure for success. drinks
    1. Samaritan
      Samaritan 19 November 2015 08: 16 New
      The most patriotic Ukrainians from among the Crimean Tatars once went on the heroic blockade of the Crimea. Shut off the supply of products. Any Ukrainian knows that 80% of products in the Crimean stores are brought from the mainland. But the Crimean mafia organized the delivery of products by secret paths and the sea. And the Ukrainians delivered all this.
    2. vodolaz
      vodolaz 19 November 2015 09: 21 New
      Well, they were not promised European salaries))) But they got European prices)))))
      1. severniy
        severniy 19 November 2015 10: 46 New
        People led by President Petro Poroshenko and Prime Minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk

        I would say On my head ....
        1. BMP-2
          BMP-2 19 November 2015 12: 32 New
          Apparently all the same - on the ears! laughing
    3. kimyth1
      kimyth1 19 November 2015 18: 54 New
      Parasyuk kicked Pisanyuk !!! I laugh at these clowns from the former Ukraine !!! Where at least they used to be ??? Free circus !!! plya !!! laughing
  2. Barboskin
    Barboskin 19 November 2015 06: 28 New
    Well, what are you doing about this economy. Well, yes, all its problems are solved by destroying this very economy. But after all, they have a great European idea, it is almost like an American dream for a resident of a black neighborhood! They chose this path, which means they need to get smarter by going through difficulties. Here you need to get very smart, that's why such movements.
    1. Baloo
      Baloo 19 November 2015 08: 12 New
      You did not understand. In 2017, the moratorium on the sale of Ukrainian land to non-citizens of Ukraine ends. Today, the largest landowner is Porosenko. Last year's data is more than 300 thousand hectares. Now you understand why the protege of American Scientologists and the Canadian-American Ukrainian Diaspora purposefully and consistently destroys the economy of Ukraine. It may soon not become like a state. she is already in colonial administration. hi
      1. severniy
        severniy 19 November 2015 10: 49 New
        Quote: Barboskin
        Well, what are you doing about this economy. Well, yes, all its problems are solved by destroying this very economy.

        Everything is one hundred percent true! As in the old catch phrase about a person - there is no economy, no problems ...
  3. meriem1
    meriem1 19 November 2015 06: 31 New
    Oh! What a syllable! Sumptuously!!!!
  4. Sasha75
    Sasha75 19 November 2015 06: 32 New
    If a pro of theft takes up the business, then he will finish his business, steal everything.
    1. Vadim237
      Vadim237 19 November 2015 10: 35 New
      By the way, today for Ukraine the default was canceled.
    2. Insurgent LC
      Insurgent LC 19 November 2015 15: 33 New
      On New Year's Eve, the government will issue each Ukrainian a black dildo like this, watch my hands.
  5. parusnik
    parusnik 19 November 2015 06: 39 New
    Peremoga! smile We’ll drink it all, we’ll eat it all, we’ll sell it all, we will become slaves of the EU and the USA, but in Ukraine, we will not disgrace ..
  6. Born in USSR
    Born in USSR 19 November 2015 06: 50 New
    For me, so let him. You look Che and will help, re-educators. Flag in their hands, paravoz to the meeting.
  7. Zomanus
    Zomanus 19 November 2015 06: 51 New
    I don’t care for this country.
    She herself so wanted, so all the rules.
  8. rotmistr60
    rotmistr60 19 November 2015 06: 53 New
    soon mocking "Fat to Ukraine!" will turn into a real revolutionary slogan of radicals.

    As time shows, not a mocking one, but a prophetic one.
  9. Volga Cossack
    Volga Cossack 19 November 2015 07: 15 New
    thank!!!!! smiled in the morning !!!! though sad ..........
  10. Mountain shooter
    Mountain shooter 19 November 2015 07: 48 New
    And I do not mind them. Somehow the pity ended, after a couple of years of observing this zoo. Here are still people would not be killed for the fact that they do not want to talk on the "un-language". I am not a nationalist, I just tried to read scientific articles in Ukrainian. Well, there frankly there are not enough words and concepts.
    This has been developed for hundreds of years, and not at the request of those who have come to know.
    1. Vladimir71
      Vladimir71 19 November 2015 08: 40 New
      And indeed, at the beginning there was pity, and now it blew away with the wind))) and when mentioning the country 404, a joke is immediately remembered: When a bummer neighbor (Ukrainians) comes up to a respectable citizen (Russian) and asks - Neighbor let me eat something and then shit you have nothing at the door)))
  11. pts-m
    pts-m 19 November 2015 07: 57 New
    Kahly look like a joyful criminal who was sentenced to be hanged. He lathers the rope with pleasure for a better glide. Faster in the geyropu! They already seem to get it with the dream of a visa-free regime. Question. With what they will go there without visas, without money.
    1. Military Builder
      Military Builder 19 November 2015 08: 35 New
      it’s they who are looking at the Baltic states, it’s like they turned out to have a wonderful industry collapse, and here it is happiness, in NATO - please, European toilets - but for God's sake, mine, whatever you want. Here Ukrainians and are drawn to their cherished dream, I almost forgot, there are still lace panties. Happy people, they have a dream.
  12. Neophyte
    Neophyte 19 November 2015 08: 11 New
    "Mova" dill in the instructions for use of a meat grinder or something else, simple
    kitchen appliances, it’s somehow understandable. With the complication of technology or, moreover, scientific
    works, introduces an inquisitive reader into a stupor, and then causes bouts of homeric laughter? The farmer’s language is intended only to express physiological needs, which is evidence of the insignificance of this
    pseudo-civilization itself!
  13. Belousov
    Belousov 19 November 2015 08: 24 New
    Well, let them live like this, prepare for the earth. So heroically jumped to such a life.
  14. Fantazer911
    Fantazer911 19 November 2015 08: 46 New
    Good morning everyone! this creation reminds me of the life of a Moldavian hard worker, and this is not a joke, at first they handed out the land, then raised a tax on it, which encouraged the Romanians to sell this land, which in turn, out of kindness of soul, hired the same hard worker to avoid starvation, the scheme is very familiar, soon there will be nothing left of Ukraine as a country, the Pole wants to take his land, will expand, well, just some kind of holiday is coming!
  15. The comment was deleted.
  16. vladimirvn
    vladimirvn 19 November 2015 09: 37 New
    "When Russia begins to talk about patriotism, know: somewhere they stole something ..." M.E. Saltykov-Shchedrin. Actual for today's Ukraine.
  17. Scud
    Scud 19 November 2015 09: 57 New
    You should always remember about the secret visit of the head of the CIA to Kuev at the end of February 2014. When meeting with Trupchinov, Yaytsenyuk, Potroshenko, a command was given to tear Russia even if the hohland was bent. The whole top in Kuev is not Ukrainians but Valtsmans.
  18. press officer
    press officer 19 November 2015 10: 01 New
    Quote: Sasha75
    If a pro of theft takes up the business, then he will finish his business, steal everything.

    and then they knocked from the bottom .. lol
  19. Volzhanin
    Volzhanin 19 November 2015 10: 07 New
    Khokhlov would be nice to turn on the brain before it’s too late, but I’m afraid there’s no one to turn on. All this has been done more than once. Parhati clearly know their business, it is quite convincingly shown here:

    The Jewish elite solves the problems of the Jewish part of the population, but it does not care what happens to the rest of society. Their problems are either ignored or worse. The fact is that throwing off a non-Jewish elite, taking its place, and even staying there with the inevitable growth of anti-Jewish sentiments (anti-Semitism, for which the death penalty is instantly imposed), is quite difficult. But it’s already easier if the whole society is “weakened”, “degenerated”, “nibbled”. Advocate for drugs, same-sex marriage, debauchery, women's rights, women should work like a man, not give birth to children and sit with them, unnecessary and harmful family creation, child birth, harmful work, the benefits of idleness and entertainment, wait for non-Jews drug addiction, pornography, drunkenness . Add to this the way in which one can ward off the anger of a population that feels that life is getting worse and worse: you can bring in non-Jewish peoples of a different nationality and pit non-Jews among themselves. You don’t need to go far for an example: in the 90s, power in Russia almost completely belonged to the Jewish elite. All the problems of the Russian part of the country's population were completely ignored. For example, in the whole region of the Russian Federation, namely Chechnya, the entire Russian population was slaughtered. The survivors fled, abandoning all their property (there was a time when 80% of the population in Grozny was Russian, now there is no Russian population in Chechnya. There is also a juggling of statistics - periodically, Russian territories are cut off to Chechnya cut off from neighboring regions with the Russian population). If the Russians were controlled by the Russian elite, or by any non-Jewish elite, such a situation would have been impossible, the ulcer would have been eliminated very quickly. But to the Jewish elite, all this Russian massacre, taking place over several years, was completely indifferent: they filled their foreign accounts, plundering the wealth of the people in which they successfully seized power, crowding out the entire non-Jewish elite
  20. Karlos
    Karlos 19 November 2015 10: 42 New
    "In order to ask for something, you need to give something! You, in addition to anger and hatred, did not give anything to anyone! You betrayed Russia, which created you and fed it from the spoon. The whole world knows this! Remember! Traitors do not like anywhere else They Are Only Used. "D. Strauss-Kahn.
  21. HAM
    HAM 19 November 2015 10: 46 New
    Probably, he will not be needed, and very soon!
    1. cuzmin.mihail2013
      cuzmin.mihail2013 19 November 2015 23: 51 New
      It is quite acceptable to use the product as a helmet on the new Maidan.
  22. Gormenghast
    Gormenghast 19 November 2015 11: 39 New
    About Ukraine in the days of ona it was written as follows (Averchenko; An excerpt from a future novel) laughing :

    Sometimes a herd of wild pigs boldly ran across an abandoned, dusted with perennial dust, overgrown with poppies and porridge, rusty rail track, sometimes sharp-sighted lynx, lurking in the dark ruin of the facade of a cotton mill or paper spinning mill, spent hours watching a gray hare; the eagles made a nest in the broken, devoid of glass pipes of the destroyed observatories ... And within the walls of the former Kiev University a terrible gang of Chinese robbers made a nest, from which the whole district trembled. laughing

    From there, on the mores of the population: laughing

    "- Yesterday, a new visitor ... almost married our neighbor: grabbed by the hair and dragged into the forest.
    “What is her former fiancé?”
    - He passed a protest resolution condemning this unauthorized speech ...
    - And the formula for the transition to the next business?
    - Ordinary: stabbed the visitor with an hatchet, and tied the bride to a tree and tore off the scalp
  23. Wolka
    Wolka 19 November 2015 12: 07 New
    the Chinese will gladly buy Ukrainian land, and they will hire Svidomo as workers ...
    1. cuzmin.mihail2013
      cuzmin.mihail2013 19 November 2015 23: 57 New
      They have enough of their employees. So Ukrainians will have to fight their way to neighboring countries, you will see someone break through.
  24. Kaban45
    Kaban45 19 November 2015 12: 36 New
    By laughing heartily, thanks for such articles! They will soon have no agriculture left, or rather there will be nowhere to plant. sell black soil for a penny!
  25. na76
    na76 19 November 2015 12: 55 New
    filter - filter
    vacuum filter - sucker sucker
    press filter - filter press
    vacuum press filter - ???
  26. Rigla
    Rigla 19 November 2015 13: 05 New
    And we are still offered to live with them in the same house !!! in the trash all this ukriya.
  27. Naval
    Naval 19 November 2015 13: 16 New
    The disgraceful true Ukrainians were successfully destroyed by the ka-tsap plants and factories. Closed mines. True, this was accompanied by great dissatisfaction with the quilted jackets, which, you see, worked there. But the president with a firm hand pointed out the inadmissibility of the work of these enterprises. Inadmissibility bordering on national betrayal. All these plants worked for the aggressor country. And they were created just for that.

    The main thing is that everything is in chocolate!
  28. chelovektapok
    chelovektapok 19 November 2015 17: 50 New
    For some reason, residents of the former Ukraine still think that they are the "navel of Europe." In fact, a virtual quasi-state in itself is worthless. It is only their land without a population. The rating upgrade according to various forecasts of agencies there is connected only with RESTITUTIONS. The probability of Polish heirs to receive inheritance through the European Court and resell. No one is interested in the opinions of Polish sortists .... Ukrainian women are the most slender, the most attractive, the most sought-after body traders from the Urals to La Masha. Fact! They expect nothing from the used market on the Euro market! Only if ukromalchiki diversify geyropskie brothels ...