My grandfather's front-line letters (part 2)
6 August 1942 year
Dear Lida! Finally got a letter. A letter that calmed me down. I am pleased that my assumptions regarding the reasons for the delay did not materialize. I changed my mind a lot during this time. Still, I want to frankly admit to you what I think about. I do not know how to explain that between us there is some kind of edge that we have not yet crossed. I want to ask you a question. Try to answer it. In your letter you write that you feel guilty for the long delay in writing. Has only one doubt in my address made you stop writing to me? And if I was injured and seriously injured, I could not write to you myself? So you would have limited yourself to waiting for letters from me? Did you know that, apart from physical pain, spiritual suffering would be added, which for me is worse than any wound. Fate is still gracious towards me, but every day, an hour, misfortune can happen. No offense is told to you, but I can cite a number of examples when care was taken of a loved one. Wife, mother or father were not limited to personal letters, trying to find out the fate of a loved one, they wrote, telegraphed to the part in order to learn something. You did not receive letters from me for a long time, why did you show such carelessness in order to know my fate? I know you thought about me, I was nervous, because I am still the father of two children and your husband, but it doesn’t fit in my head, and I can’t reconcile with your argument of delaying letters. Why didn't you ask me about the reason for the delay?
2Lida! You know me (although you still do not quite understand), you know that I have never complained to you about my fate. Even in the smallest of troubles, I tried to present you everything in such an explanation in order to spare your self-esteem and health. You know that I love you, you know what kind of love I show for our children - you cannot neglect this. I do not require you to pity me. Pity and sincere love are two opposite things, but only the latter gives rise to the first. Do not think that I am so stupid that I have lost all human feelings. The laws of war are harsh. You know, Lida, I love my Motherland very much and I just can’t come to terms with the idea that we will be defeated. I don’t want to brag to you, but I’m not a coward (they wrote about me and two comrades in the front-line newspaper “Stalin truth”), and therefore you will not blush for me. I am still young, I want to live, I want and dream to see you all, but my fate is unknown. (I am writing to you, and shells are flying overhead.) My previous letters and this letter should leave some trace in your memory. I want you to remember only good things about me. Do not be offended by the reproaches that I wrote you. You must understand that only a person without a soul and insincerely loving could keep silent about what I wrote to you.
In turn, I also want to clarify your attitude towards me. I don't want to hide anything from you. I dream that there is no edge between us. I want you to be a sincere and very close person with me.
Dear Lida! Very satisfied for the guys. Your description of Natasha delights me. Unfortunately, you speak too coldly of Volodya. Lida, you must understand that we are the only ones to blame for his behavior and character. He will be harder in the future than Natasha. Love for a child is not explained only by the fact that they take care of him, i.e. He is dressed, shod, full. He needs a caress. A fair caress in which he would not see the difference in attitude. I assure you, he will be much better if you change his attitude towards him. Mother in general, children should be the same.
I am glad that you have good food. The Germans have no success. It is easy for me to serve. Fighters respect me, take care. I am sure that none of them will let you down in battle. If you have to die, then die all together.
Write to me how all our lives. How is the health of grandparents? How are things with Kolya, what does Kostya write? How do Sonya live with Alexey Vasilievich? Say hi to Vera and in general to all relatives. I hope that you will fulfill my request as I requested, i.e. not only send a photo of the guys, but also take pictures with them. This I ask you to make sure. Volodya tell him to write me a letter. As soon as I choose the time, I will write to him separately.
At this letter I finish. I do not require an immediate response from you. Before you write, think about what and what to write to me. I wish you all good health.
Hugs and tightly kiss you.
Your Vasya
17 1942 of August
Hello, my dear, dear Lida! How do you explain your long silence? Did something bad happen at home that you do not dare tell me? It is necessary to confess directly to you: I am very offended at you. My comrades, almost everyone regularly receives letters, and I have not heard from you or my mother for a month. Do not you understand how hard it is for me? There is nothing wrong with me. As soon as time permits, I write as well, and if I delay the answer, you must understand where I am. I informed you that I am constantly in fights. I cannot engage in self-praise, but you don’t have to blush for me. I defend my homeland in good faith. On the area where our part operates, things are good. Fritz we beat well, and he doesn’t really stick his nose to us. We have no offensive, on the contrary, we are pushing it from our land. The mood of the fighters is good. (Nrzb) Southern Front, where our Red Army was forced to retreat. We all hope for a quick turnaround, and then we will chase the Germans so that they will feel sick. You do not worry about me. My state of health is good, except for the fact that you make me worry because you do not write. I eat well, much better than lately in citizenship. I can not be offended with health either. There are, of course, some troubles, but they are caused by the conditions of the front. I described everything about myself, I hope that you will be calm for me. My comrades are good, the relationship with them also. The fighters whom I currently have to command, also respect me, and therefore I can easily endure the difficulties that are encountered.
Lida, the numbers of 14 or 15, I sent you 500 rub. I will send more days. As soon as an opportunity, so send a certificate. I absolutely do not need money, because there is no place to buy them on the front, and therefore I will send you 700-800 rubles monthly.
Write me how you live. How are Natasha, Volodya, yours, grandfathers, grandmothers, Koli? How do Sonya live with Alexey Vasilievich and in general about everything. Hope you got the letter I sent the 11-12 numbers. In this letter, influenced by my mood, I wrote to you about what worries me. I hope you are not offended at me for this letter. If I'm wrong, then I'm sorry. Dear Lida, if you knew how I worry about you. I am particularly worried about how you eat there. I know that the whole burden of raising children fell on you, but you shouldn’t be discouraged, on the contrary, a cheerful mood will make it easier to bear all burdens. For your behavior regarding me, I am calm. You, of course, do not be surprised at the last sentence. I absolutely do not want to suspect you of something bad, sometimes collective memories of family sometimes slip among us and unwittingly some of them are more doubtful about the behavior of their wives.
We have no requests at the front, but there are orders that, no matter what the difficulties, are mandatory. 3 It is a pity that I cannot order you, but I will try. The order will be the following: no matter what you cost, no matter how much time you spend, you must send me a photo of the children and yourself. Turn to Alexey Vasilyevich for assistance, I think that this can be done. I had to part with your photo and Volodina. It was not my fault. I will describe this case to you. Once over the location of our battery appeared enemy aircraft. As they noticed us, I do not know, but several bombs fell. We have three people wounded, one killed. My duffle bag also suffered. Things were scattered. And my comrades were amazed at me when, not paying attention to the danger, I was looking for a book where your photo was kept. From this case it will become clear to you how valuable she was to me. I hope that you will fulfill my "order".
Dear Lida, so that I can write to you more often, send me a packet of some envelopes and paper. For the rest, I have absolutely no shortage. I just have enough. Write me if you receive letters from Moscow. What do they write? How do they live? What does Kolya write? In general, try to write more about everything and most importantly - send me photos as quickly as possible.
Maybe, in vain, I make claims to you that you do not write to me. Maybe the post is to blame? In the letter you let me know when you wrote the last letter. Lida, I beg of you, write to me as often as possible, if time allows, in a day. Bear in mind that if you do not do this, then I will rarely write.
I wish you all the best in your life. Kisses and hugs you all tightly.
Your Vasya
Pre-war photo of grandfather Vasily Mikhailovich with son Vladimir
24 1942 of August
1Hello, dear Lida! I am writing to you already the fifth letter, and from you to get lost all hope. How do you explain your long silence? I find it difficult to pass on to you as I worry. I had a definite opinion that something happened at home. I can’t come to terms with the idea that the delay in letters is due to the fault of the mail. If I was sure that everything was all right at home and the delay in the letters was your fault, I would give you an offensive reproach. I am far from the thought of suspecting you of something bad. I am sure that the reason for the delay in the letters is completely different, but I assure you that I have the courage to transfer any of your messages, no matter how hard it may be. When my comrades are interested in my family or we share memories of a peaceful life, how much good you and the guys can't tell them. When asked whether I receive letters from home, how things are at home, I don’t know what to say. Feel awkward yourself. Moreover, it becomes hard and painful in your soul that you have been forgotten. Do I really deserve something that I have not been considered to be informed about such a long time? Dear Lida! Maybe you were sick? Maybe currently ill? Then one of my relatives would write me a letter. I do not write to you about the illness of the guys or someone else. I know you would tell me about it. We should not forget that we are fully aware at the front of how difficult it is for you in the rear. If you compare you and me, then I can safely say that you have a harder time. But I honestly and conscientiously fulfill the requirement that is presented to me by the Motherland. You don't have to blush for me.
I have all provided. You also have to think about yourself, about children and provide us with everything you need. I really appreciate the work of the rear and realize what kind of war lies on your shoulders. We eat much better than you. Sometimes we get cookies. When I eat it, I involuntarily remember the guys. I would gladly refuse this luxury in order to get it to our children.
Dear Lida, consider that I am almost continuously in battles. It is possible that misfortune will happen to me. It will be much easier for me to bear everything if I am calm for you. I beg you, write to me more and more. Do not limit yourself to some dry messages. Read more about yourself. I want to know your mood and thoughts. How is Natasha's health, yours, Volodya, grandmothers, Kolya? How do they live? What does Kostya write? How do Sonya live with Alexey Vasilievich? Does Volodya go to school? If so, I congratulate him. You try to instill in him the seriousness of this case. After all, he will soon have a small assistant. Do not forget to remind the guys about me, otherwise I will come, and they will not know me properly. In general, you should have a lot of topics for letters, I will not report them, I hope that you yourself guess what to write to me, so that I have the pleasure of reading them.
I inform you: I received a letter from Moscow. Writing Manya. At home everything is fine. Now in Moscow is very calm. With food it became easier. Vera arrived in Moscow with the guys. It is not prescribed, the cards do not give. Manya finds it difficult to write about how they live. They make mom just upset once again and help them, you know yourself - mom has nothing! Sergey is still working in Moscow, and they don’t have to complain and blame anyone. The rest live as before.
Dear Lida! I wanted to send you a money transfer simultaneously with this letter, but there is no form. As soon as I get it, I will send it.
For me, do not worry. Feel great. My health is good. If it were not for care and thought about you, then everything would be fine. At this letter I finish. I will not write again until I receive a letter from you. I beg you, send me what I asked you, i.e. photographs.
Hugs and tightly kisses to all.
Your Vasya
8th of October 1942
Hello, my dear Lida! Sorry for delaying the letter. I do not need to be offended for it. You yourself know very well how time allows me, I often write. I don’t know what your reason is, I haven’t received any letters from you for a long time. Last letter received from 21 September. I will try to answer you. First of all, it’s a pity you misunderstood me. Do you think that I was aiming to hurt you? You felt hurt to tears when you read my letter. Yes. I have the courage to admit even that I do not quite understand you. My hopes for your answer were not justified. You think I’m guilty for asking a few questions for you and also giving a number of examples.
Maybe I'm wrong. If my memory serves me, in my last letters I did not touch upon the question of our mutual relations in the past. I did not give you a single reproach, but, on the contrary, recalled our life only from the good side. What I deserve that you reminded me of my words - I do not know. I will not write to you what I think and worry about after reading your letter. I'm afraid to offend you. In general, we will have to change the style of writing. Let's not bet on each other for the future ... we have no reason to quarrel. I pleaded guilty. Perhaps you will agree that was not entirely right. I still live. Last time was busy and could not choose the time to write to you. My mood is not brilliant. Frankly admit, really miss the house. You very rarely write. There are no letters from Moscow either. In general, it should be noted - if you don’t take the initiative in this area, you don’t have to get extra letters. I look forward to when you fulfill my request. Perhaps you are so busy that you can not choose a free minute to take a picture. But I ask you again. You must understand that this is ...
18 1942 October, the
Good afternoon, dear Lida!
I lost hope of receiving a letter from you. What is the reason that it bothers you to write me a letter - I do not know. Of course, you yourself take offense at me because I rarely write, but I have much less free time than you do. I am still alive and well. I feel good. If it were not for the lack of letters from you, then in general the mood would be good. It's a shame that some comrades receive letters, and I, as a sin, just wait and all my expectations remain in vain. Very boring. I often remember everyone. Last time dream in a dream. Now we are on the right bank of the Dnieper, we are chasing the Germans further and further, and I hope that in the near future we will crush the enemy and return all home.
Congratulations to all on the holiday 7 November. Write more letters. I remain alive and well and wish you the same. I embrace and kiss everyone tightly. Vasya. I am in a hurry.
Grandma's brother Konstantin Emelyanov, also fought
November 4 1942 years
Dear Lida! After a long break I received two letters from you at once. 1 November, I wrote to you, where I told you why there were no letters from me for so long. I am very pleased that you have things at home safely. I'm a little offended at you, that 4 you can assume that I can take offense at you for not sending me a package. Stupid (of course, do not be offended by what I call you so), do you really think that I do not understand your position? If I received anything from you, I would only be offended for it. I understand how hard it is for you to live. What I ask of you is less to worry about. Believe me, just enough for me. The best gift from you are frequent letters and, if possible, your photos, so that I can look at my dear faces. Your description of Natasha, Volodya and myself calms a little and makes me happy, but I always want to have your faces in front of my eyes. I wrote to you what changes happened to me. It must be said bluntly that I am now exposed to much less danger. My position is still uncertain.
Dear Lida! Perhaps, for my part, help will be temporarily delayed, but do not be offended. As soon as there is an opportunity, and I hope it will be soon, so I will try to help you. We are quite prepared for winter. I am dressed warmly. Hearty. I just really, really miss everyone. 5 I really miss working. I want to write to Nevsky so that he can send me some materials from the institute. I will try to do business at the front. By this I think to benefit my Motherland.
Lida! By the way, I wrote to you about sending me knives and something else. I know that if this is even the slightest difficulty, then you can refrain from doing it.
Days flow very quickly. 7Already the ninth month since I left home. During this time there has been a lot of changes. I have changed, but do not think for the worse. Not. It seems to me that everything that I had was left. The only thing added was that I recognized people better. I realized a lot in life, which until then had remained incomprehensible. I learned and understood what deprivation is. I do not mind the fate. I understand perfectly well what causes all this, and like every living person I dream of returning home with a victory and continue to live with my family again. Although we sometimes had problems, but in general our life was not bad. ... you will not be offended at me, and if I came back, I am sure that we would have healed much better. For some reason I have a big alarm for you, will you be able to bear all the burdens of war. Itself do not lose the presence of cheerfulness. Of course, I am sure that you gave everything to the family.
I know that you are losing yourself a lot for the sake of the guys, but you have to think about yourself. Their fate depends on your health. You must take care of yourself for them.
No one knows what the future holds for us. Even greater deprivations are possible, and they, I know, will be, and therefore you be more energetic. Arrange life according to the conditions. Adapt to life. The most basic - do not panic. Hope no one. ... depends more on their fate. I know that you understand everything perfectly well without my advice, but still I want to remind you once again.
Holidays were calm. Were limited to just memories of how they met them before the war. Write me how you spent them.
Currently we have a lull at the front. No active action. The enemy has no success. I think he will not like our Russian winter and ... will feel more trouble. Well, Lida, I’m finishing this letter. Write more often about everything.
8 Your memories of my wires and their comparison with the wires of Alexey Vasilyevich are in vain. I could not, and had no right to demand more from you. I know that if there was an opportunity, everything possible would also be done for me. I did not think to be offended; on the contrary, I myself felt guilty of something.
…in life. Do not forget me. Write more and more. Your letters are very short and dry. Do not refer to my character and "education". Just be a little more responsible and sincere, and you are much ... words about what to write to me.
Hugs and tightly kisses to all. Your Vasya.
Once again: write more often. Do not pay attention if there are delays on my part. My new 151-i field mail address, part of 472. I kiss you once more.
Vasya
16th of December 1942
My dear Lidus! I chose a free minute and decided to write you a letter. I know that the desire to receive letters from me much more recently has increased. I explain this by active actions of our troops, and since you do not know where I am, you can assume that I am in great danger. I can calm you down. I still feel good. I absolutely do not need anything. There are some moments in my life that make my life not monotonous. 6I can not sit idle. The desire to provide more benefit to their homeland makes me apply my knowledge at the front. Perhaps a change will happen in my life soon. Today I received a letter in which I was told a pleasant news. I am not going to tell you what I proposed, it will be incomprehensible to you, but in this letter I was informed that my proposal was reported to the head of the political department of the army and command. Tomorrow I'm waiting for specials. correspondent who comes to our part to talk with me. I don't know what this whole thing will take storybut she should not remain without a trace. I absolutely do not want you to hope, time will tell how things will be, so you don’t particularly attach importance to my letter. I know that I kindled your curiosity, and therefore I will try to write you letters more often, and therefore you will be aware of all the events.
I congratulate you on the upcoming New Year. We have to hold the second meeting separately. The year passed unnoticed. I still have vivid memories in my memory of the reasons for not allowing you to meet the 1942 year with you. Basically the war was the culprit, but now it is only she. Hopefully, we will have a meeting of 1944 of the year together and in a peaceful atmosphere.
12 received a parcel and a small letter from Moscow. I am also grateful to them for the attention they give me. They sent a cigarette, a pen with a perpetual feather, tooth powder, some wine, i.e. what I asked them. You probably think that I take offense at you for not being able to send me a package. I beg you not to do this. I understand perfectly what it is connected with, and I absolutely do not need anything. I am writing this to you quite sincerely, and you do not even think of sending, but apologizing to me, that you cannot do this. In this I will be sure that you still do not quite know me. What can I ask you and what will be better for me than any parcel - these are frequent letters from you. They bring me great pleasure and allow me to be with you in the letters.
I live, healthy.
Write letters in more detail and more often. More about Natasha, Volodya and myself. How do all our lives and in general about everything.
Hugs and tightly kisses to all. Your Vasya.
3 March 1944 city
My dear, dear Lida! After a forced long silence, I have the opportunity to write you a letter. Believe me, lately almost all the time was in movement and battles. Currently, we were given a rest. How long it will last, I do not know. A long stay at the front, and almost all the time being near the enemy, makes life in the shallow rear some kind of strange. Much seems incomprehensible, much lost the habit. It's hard for you to imagine how much pleasure a person gets to sleep in warmth, especially if he has the opportunity to undress and take off his shoes. There is a sauna, one of the best pleasures, and clean linen is a luxury. Observing the lives of people in the rear, and especially the relationship between men and women, often leads to sad reflections. I am not going to condemn or criticize people - I know that in most people only feed animal feelings, but the lack of seriousness with which people often relate to this issue makes me angry. Dear Lida! Do not be offended by what I am writing to you about this. Do not make assumptions that I allow myself to think about your frivolous behavior. If you and the family were not dear to me, then I paid little attention to it at all. Often, apart from my will, and especially when I do not have the opportunity to receive long letters from you, my imagination draws the most gloomy pictures. Then I’m very offended at you and it makes me very, very sad for your inattention to me. Perhaps you, in turn, are offended because I rarely write, but you have to believe me that in most cases it does not depend on me. Sometimes your long silence makes me more indifferent to my duties, my mood becomes nasty - any desire to write disappears.
A little about your life. I'm still alive, healthy. The mood is not bad. The last time had to go through a lot, both morally and physically. Subjected to great dangers, but fate is merciful. The regiment commander introduced me to the award, the Order of the Red Banner, so you don’t have to blush for me. Much in my life will be incomprehensible to you. Perhaps I will sometime explain to you, and then you will understand. Consciousness of duty to the Motherland makes you put up with all the difficulties that you have to experience, but I do not lose hope to meet you, and this will be one of the happiest days in my life.
Last letter from you and Volodya received in 20-s January. Since then, not a single letter from you or from Moscow. Who, where and how to live, I do not know. I really miss Natasha, Volodya, of course, of course, and I often remember my grandparents. I owe a lot to them, because the whole difficulty of education has been laid on you and on them.
Do not consider overwork - write more often and more. I make an assumption that it is not long before the time when we will have the opportunity to meet, and if everything goes well, we will continue to live, but I am sure that we will be much better, more friendly, and we will appreciate each other more.
Write to me about your mood, lifestyle, and in general about everything. Write more about the children.
Hugs and tightly kisses to all.
Your Vasya
3 April 1944 city
Dear Lida! It may seem strange to you, but it seems difficult for me to write you a letter. I can’t say that I’m busy and I don’t have enough time now. This is explained solely by the fact that I have not received letters from you for almost three months. If you could imagine my mood, then I assure you that you would not have delayed writing me once again. It's hard and insulting for me, and at the same time I can't blame you for being the cause of the delay itself. If I calmly received letters regularly, then for me the delay would be quite explicable, because frequent transfers from one sector of the front to another delay normal mail delivery. I hope your memory does not change you. Once you wrote to me that my letters give you not only joy, but you read them with pleasure. How difficult it is sometimes to deliver this pleasure, especially when you do not receive letters for a long time. You are a close enough person for me, and therefore limiting oneself to a dry and official letter is to show one’s indifference to you. To write once again about your feelings, guesses, ridiculous assumptions is stupid. War already plays on the nerves enough, so you have to take this into account. Believe me, for me each of your letters, whatever the content, is of great value. I perfectly know your character, habits, I know your attitude towards me in the past, I did not forget the expression of your personal feelings towards me, and therefore I regard your letters in my own way. For a stranger, they may seem too monotonous and maybe official, for me it is not. War is an institution of life. I used to be little versed in the psychology of people. Along with honest people you meet bad ones, and sometimes scoundrels. See life from the bad side. You are convinced of what you had no idea about before the war, and if it did, it was not on such a scale. Having graduated from such an “institution”, a person can always determine the honesty and sincerity of a friend without error.
I really like one song, and I purr it often. Its content is:
There is your card,
So, it means that we are always with you,
My lovely.
Comrades sometimes tease, but then, of course, calm them down.
I have no particular changes yet. I'm still alive and well. Very often I remember you all. I am waiting for a separate letter from Volodya. Happy birthday to him. Mentally, I can not imagine. Still, he seems to me to be my little son, with whom I have to go to the store to buy him a toy, and if a book, then it must be with pictures. Probably for me, if I return, the first time will need to ask you what interests him. Natasha is a mystery to me. Although you always write about her for the better than about Volod, but I have no idea about her. I remember her as a helpless little daughter, for whom, apart from her concern (that she had nothing to eat during the war), she did not give me anything. I loved her in my own way, but in this love there was more pity for her. You admire her, and therefore you would have made for me an invaluable pleasure if you could take a picture with the children and send me a card.
Do not be offended by past letters. None of my letters are intended to offend you, and if I offended you with something, then you must understand6 I’m a living person and I have feelings. Please write me more and more. It seems to me that the wait is not long. The third year I am at the front, but they seemed like an eternity to me. The mood in the army and in the people is good. I crossed the old frontier a long time ago, I hope that soon we will not only liberate our homeland, but also smash the enemy, and then we will live much better than before.
Congratulations to everyone on May 1. I wish you all the best. I embrace and kiss tightly all.
Your Vasya
5th of June 1944
Dear Lida! I am sure in advance that you are again taking offense at me for my long silence. Unfortunately, there were reasons that did not allow me to write earlier. Very, very grateful to you for the photo. If you suggested how much joy she brought me. Sometimes it seems to me that I have become closer to you. Looking into the features that are dear to me, I transfer myself mentally into the past, and together with the joyful memories of the past, you dream of a good future. Debt and conscience before the Motherland makes me put up with many things, but if you knew how sometimes it becomes boring, hard, hard, not physically, but morally. Do not think that this is due to being at the front. No fear - atrophied. For me, having spent the third year at the front, a lot has become indifferent. It becomes difficult because you are very bored. There are no prospects for a meeting soon. You have to put your personal interests in the background. Reading the last of your letters, which, in spite of everything, were very short and dry, I made sure that it was also hard for you to wait for me. True, you promise to wait, which, of course, makes me very happy, but at the same time I am worried about the conditions of your material life, from which, I know, your mood can change. Do not be surprised at the last words, and most importantly - do not be offended. I, of course, have absolutely no right to suspect you of something bad, but, unfortunately, life itself, its harsh laws make me think not what I would like.
In the photo you look as cute, good as you were. Your little smile is just as simple and pleasant. Volodya has also changed. I feel that I grew up. Natasha - this black-eyed daughter delights me. Do not be jealous with Volodya, but I stare at her much more than you. Perhaps this is due to the fact that your images are not smoothed out of my memory, and I have seen Natasha the least. The overall impression you create is good.
Worried about the fate of Kolya. Has he still not told you anything about himself? Write me his address and, if you know, the last place of stay.
I rarely receive letters from Moscow. Sorry to end the letter. I am in a hurry. I will try to write in more days.
Letter interrupted.
I embrace and kiss all tightly.
Your Vasya
July 4 1944 city
Dear Lida!
Perhaps you are again at a loss for my silence. Unfortunately, I have not had the opportunity to write to you before. This is explained by the fact that I did not feel very well. Of course, you do not worry. Now I feel good, and therefore I hasten to reply to your letters, which, apart from pleasure, made me forget those reproaches I wrote before. Do not think that I want to remind you once again about something. On the contrary, now I feel completely calm and happy for the fact that you continue and remain the same sweet, good and at the same time caring mother. I understand you. It’s hard to feel a constant dependency, but believe me, Lida: I will be grateful all my life to your parents for helping to save my family for me, and I hope I will not be in debt to them. I feel sorry for you that you have to work and worry so much. I sincerely ask you to take care of yourself, because your health is important for the guys.
I am glad that you have such good dreams for the future. Although I am exposed to dangers, I never admit the thought that something can happen to me. Although I think that I have a family, but I have never been and will not be a coward, and you will not have to blush for me. The events and successes of the last days are very encouraging. It seems that the day is not far off when dreams will come true. ABOUT! If you knew what and how much at the front you have to dream. These dreams are varied. The main dream is to quickly defeat the enemy. Often we draw ourselves a picture of returning home, meeting with everyone, and then it becomes easier to endure the hardships that arise at the front. It becomes especially good when you know that you have favorite children, a wife who are waiting for you. Believe me, rarely a day passes when I would not look at a photo. I have studied faces so much (I have not forgotten yours, and it has changed little) that you always stand before me.
For me, you do not worry yet. I am alive and well. Mood is good. Recently I received a letter from Sergey. He is lucky, was 10 days in Moscow. He writes that there is also a lot of work in the gardens. Mother is hard, but Alexander, who is now on a business trip to Golutvino (100 km from Moscow), helps her well. Peter and Claudia in Irkutsk. Live modestly. Tanya with her family in Shatsk. Manya works in the same place. Shura on the Belarusian front. Everything would be fine if that uncertainty with Kolya was resolved for the better, and for our relatives this is the first trouble. Still, I hope for a good outcome.
Very happy for Volodya, or rather, for his success at school. Excited that he gives you sometimes trouble and you lost the hope of eliminating them. This business, of course, will arrange everything, and I hope that he, like Natasha, will bring you only joy. Tell him not to be offended by me. I will try to write him a letter soon.
Write, Lida, more often. Do not be offended if there are delays from me. Know that my thoughts were and will always be with you.
Hello to all relatives.
I embrace and kiss all tightly.
Your Vasya.
Greetings from our countryman Eugene - my front-line friend.
20 August 1944 g
Dear Lida! Sad as it may be, but again I gave you an unnecessary experience with my silence. Believe me, Lida! This is not due to the fact that I changed my feelings for you. On the contrary. Every day you and the children become more precious to me. How nice to know that there is a person who believes, waits and hopes to meet. It makes it easier to survive the hardships caused by war, this hope. Know, Lida, wherever I am, whatever happens to me, my thoughts will always be with you. The family for me was and will remain the most expensive. My words will seem strange to you, but I can tell you that I am sacrificing for the sake of my family. Someday I will explain to you what the essence of my words is, but for now they will remain unknown to you.
Please do not think that having a family can make a coward out of me. Homeland is as dear to me as you, and I have never been and will not be a coward, but at the same time I know that I must not forget about you. Do not be offended that rarely write. It is quite clear to me that the joy for the success of the Red Army in each person is connected with anxiety for the fate of loved ones at the front. War does not happen without casualties, and therefore playing on nerves with silence is very bad. I am well aware of this and at the same time I cannot understand my mood. Sometimes I try to convince me that I am right, because I rarely receive letters from you (last letter 18 of June). Sometimes you want to write a rude letter, and then you will calm down and try to convince you that the mail is to blame. It becomes especially offensive when, after a long break, letters are brought to the unit and you are not among the lucky people who have received the news from home. Usually in such cases I begin to “study” your old letters and in most cases I calm down.
Now I am in Poland. The mood of the residents in relation to the Red Army is not bad. German they also annoy enough. Successes of the Red Army, the Allies say a lot. Despite the fact that the war terribly tired of all, the mood in the army is not bad. All live in the hope that the German will soon be defeated. Frankly admits: everyone is tired of this war. It is hard to think that three years from life are crossed out. And how many people died. Sometimes it becomes scary to think. Those people with whom I went to the front, there are very few. The rest are cripples or killed. Now we are located in the forest. The nearest town is in 3 km, but our front line is located there. We have after the calm. Nevertheless, when I write you this letter, sometimes German shells distract thoughts. True, they are accustomed to them and are indifferent, but still they do not allow us to forget that there is war all around.
The weather is favorable to us. After several days, when it was raining and there was no place to dry, there were clear and warm days. We sleep in the open air, and I often remember Stalingrad when we slept on the balcony. Nature does not recognize that war. Despite the fact that the forest has suffered from ruptures, everything lives around. Birds do not stop singing, raspberries and nuts are enough, and if it were not for the shots, then you would think that you are in the country.
For me, do not worry yet. I am alive and well. The mood is not bad. I really miss Natasha, Volodya and, of course, about you. I haven’t received letters from Moscow either. How do they live there, I do not know. I myself write there rarely. I beg you, Lida, write more often. Even if a few words, but they will be for me in their own way. I know your "love" to write letters. For some reason it seems to you that there is nothing to write, but I am not going to be demanding of you. Write about your life. About the guys. About what's new in your home. What does Kolya, Alexey Vasilievich write about and everything about in general? I wish you all the best.
I embrace and kiss tightly.
Your Vasya
Grandma’s brother Nikolai Emelyanov, served in the ski battalion, died in 1944 at the age of 16-17 years
10th of December 1944
Hello dear! Lida! Sorry for being so long with a letter. I have no particular justification. True, I am busy with one job that takes a lot of my personal time. This work is connected with my civil specialty, and I am very fond of it. You, Lida, forgive me for neglecting your and other peace. I understand perfectly well that I am not doing well, but I urge you not to pay attention to my “accuracy” to write letters. Believe me, I never forget about the house. All my dreams and thoughts are with you, and I hope that after the war, when we will meet and I will explain a lot of things that are incomprehensible to you, you will understand me and will completely agree with me. From Moscow I received two letters from you. I am very pleased that everything is all right for you. Pleased for Natasha and grateful to everyone that surrounded her with such attention.
Don't worry about me. I am alive and well. Mood is good. I expect some changes in my life, but, of course, for the better. Volodya sent two letters. In the letters he explained everything that was necessary. No response was received from him. How he lives, I am very interested, and, frankly, I am worried that he will not have the necessary observation. Unfortunately, you will not fix the situation with anything, and we will hope for my soon return, and then we will try to fix all the abnormalities.
Lida! Write me more about life on the cable car. How is your mom? What does Sergey write? He sent me two letters, but I haven’t answered him yet. Write how you are doing with food. Write in detail who lives like. How are things going with work? How do you spend your time? I heard a lot about life in Moscow. It is possible that what was told to me is not quite true, but if this is true, then this very much can remind you of our pre-war life, which you, unfortunately, cannot use. I hope that you will remain the same until the end. The wait is not long, but as a rule, after the bad there is usually something good, and in this good time I believe.
Write it. No offense. Waiting for letters. How is Natasha?
I embrace and kiss all tightly.
Your Vasya
21th of December 1944
Dear Lida! Recently received a letter from you. Sorry to delay a bit with the answer. You wonder why I offend you for what you rarely write? Perhaps I am wrong, but I make assumptions that everything depends on my mood, and after reading your letter in which you report a change of mood due to your stay in Moscow, I will not be surprised if I guessed right. Do not think that I want to reproach you for something, for my personal mood changes very often. Sometimes I feel that it is necessary to write a letter, but when you sit down, you do not know what to write. I do not know about you, but I often think about our position with you. It would seem that there are no reasons that would prevent us from treating each other as before, and at the same time it is strange for me that we cannot find the right words for each other. I do not think that my and your feelings were dulled. On the contrary, what is not, what you dream about becomes much more valuable. It is curious how we will treat each other after the war: there must be some changes. In one of the letters you wrote to me about the fact that, having lived with me for several years, you did not fully understand me and your relations were not entirely sincere. Well, if each of us understands what he was wrong then, and if fate is gracious and we meet, then I think we will eliminate all the shortcomings.
Very satisfied for you and Natasha. For Volodya worried, and for some reason I feel sorry for him. I know he is not with strangers, but to deprive him of your and my attention is too much punishment. At his age I was brought up in an orphanage. The memory connected with that life is still too fresh in my memory. As a child, I often thought about my position and looked for the guilty why I was in an orphanage. At that time I was not interested in the question that it was difficult to live. I had my own personal world and, unfortunately, no one could explain my errors. Although Volodya is big, he probably understands a lot, but it’s still hard for him. Especially it is necessary to take into account that, as you write, “he went into mother’s character”, and therefore he can feel, worry and never show his appearance and is not recognized. I regret that this trait has passed to him. It seems to me that our past life would be much more complete. I can not, and I have no right to be offended at you for anything, but for this line we often caused each other trouble for no reason. Sometimes it seemed to me that you didn’t completely trust me or play with my feelings, and even then I guessed that there was a certain trait in your character, and therefore I got used to it and accepted it. Several times I tried to make a change. True, unsuccessfully, rudely, caused you trouble, but you have to agree that sometimes she herself was not right. I do not want to engage in self-praise, but the person who recognized me can live well. I am quick-tempered, hot, but at the same time, if I have offended a person, I always try to find the cause and make amends. In life, I did not make enemies for myself that could take offense for a long time. I know that citizenship cannot remember me badly. I also have many comrades and even friends in the army, and therefore it is easier for me to go through all sorts of adversities.
I really miss and dream about the house. I am writing a letter today and read that Natasha is today 4 of the year 4 of the month and 12 of days, I’m not talking about Volodya - he is quite big. Although it is pleasant in my heart that you have such “adult” children, at the same time you regret that they have been without me for so long that they probably have no idea about their father. In this regard, I envy you.
Lida, write to me more and more. How is your mom? Natasha? Your? Viti? Masha? What does Alexander write? What happened to Petya? How do everyone else live? Volodya wrote three letters, but not one from him. If you received a letter from him, then passed. Don't worry about me. Everything will be fine. Was it at work?
I hug and tightly kiss all.
Your Vasya
5 March 1945 city
Hello dear! Lida! Of course, you are again offended at me for the fact that I rarely wrote. Unfortunately, I have little opportunity to write to you often. I myself also have not received letters for a long time and cannot understand your long silence. Within a few months I received a letter from you in which you report that Shura was in Moscow. I frankly admit, I envy those people who have such great happiness. I just have no luck. Went fourth year, as I am in the army. During this time I didn’t have to visit not only at home, but also further like 35-45 km from the front line. I have absolutely no idea how people live in the rear. How much would I sacrifice to stay at home. Learn and how you live. Get to know your mood. Especially, Lida, yours. Are you tired of waiting? In addition to my will, but in your letters I notice some hidden rebuke. You, of course, do not complain to me openly about your position, but you need to be a stupid person not to understand your thoughts. I know your perplexity and anxiety about me. It is, of course, erroneous. How many times did I want to let you know about my position, but I never reached the goal. I could, risking my life, achieve a certain position, but I assure you that for a very short time. Play by fate, I abstain.
Recently from Kazakova I.D. got a letter. Unfortunately, it was sad for me. Many in the rear have not quite the right idea about us. They think that we are so hardened, have become insensitive to everything, etc. - i.e. we can be absolutely indifferent to all things. Unfortunately, this is deeply mistaken. Each of us, who is at the front, has not ceased to appreciate life. All that is connected with memories of the past is very expensive. I.D. Kazakov, in his little postcard, informed me about the death of six comrades, including Yuzhakov, who died of a heartbreak in the train, Pronin, Kazachinsky, and others. If they were all at the front, it would not be so hard, otherwise in the far rear. All this leads to very sad reflections. After all, I lived and worked with them for several years. How much has changed in three years. Who can believe how hard it is to wait for the end.
Lida! For me, do not worry yet. I am alive and well. The mood is good, because I live in the hopes of a quick defeat of the enemy and return to your homeland. How is your mom? What does Volodya write? How is my daughter Natasha? When I read your letters in which you write about Natasha, namely, that she is offended and tells you: “All uncles come home, but my dad is not and is not”, believe me, it is so hard that she is deprived of everything, what is dear to you in the world.
I wish you all health and the best in your life.
Lida, write. I ask you very much about it. Do not make me worry again and think about what is not necessary.
I embrace and kiss all tightly.
Your Vasya
21 March 1945 city
Hello dear! Lida! Recently received a letter from you. You are in vain of such an opinion that I remain dissatisfied with your letters. If I did not know your character, then, of course, for me a lot of things would seem incomprehensible and strange. Fortunately, I know you, and therefore I understand how difficult it is for you to write a letter to me once more, but I will live in the hope that you will fulfill your promise to me. It seems to me, on the contrary, that you must remain dissatisfied with my letters. You can often find some instructions and hints in them. Usually I do not pursue the goal of offending you and if I write something, then this happens against my will. Do you remember the past letter? I am sure that you were surprised by him, but you must agree with me that my position was and remains a mystery to you. Sometimes I see comparisons in your letters, then it seems to me that you think I am not very capable. In vain. Of course, I don’t really like military affairs, and it’s painful for me to stay at the front, but at the same time I’ll try to fulfill my duty to the end with honor. It seems to me that I have already written to you that I was awarded the Order of the Red Star, the medal "For Courage", presented to the Order of the Red Banner, although the last award is not heard, but the main award for me, I think, for family is that I still live and healthy.
The rest does not bother me much. I live without changes. One bad thing is that I rarely get letters. Volodya does not write at all. For me, do not worry yet. I hope that this war will end soon and we will be back home.
We have now come the second spring. The weather is warm. How I want to live when spring comes. All about something dreaming. When we have free time, we all gather together. We recall the past, talk about the future, and usually the conversation leans about you, i.e. about those who are in the rear. Some are scolded, others are justified. They give a lot of examples and cases, and all blame the fact that the war will write off. In any case, after the war, many will be disappointed. People in four years of war have changed, and this, perhaps, is not surprising.
We have a lull now. Found a new occupation, i.e. learning to play the accordion. Build it like on the piano, and therefore for me to study is easy. I play in the evenings. This allows a little distraction from the war.
I do not write to work. I don’t know exactly who is there now, otherwise I’d swear at the promise they gave you, but they didn’t fulfill it themselves. Sergey also does not write. The fate of Petit bothers me. What happened to him is incomprehensible. Where is Claudia? What does Volodya write to you? How is my Natasha? How I wanted to give her pleasure, but, unfortunately, is not yet necessary. Perhaps soon I will promise, and I will fulfill her desire. Write, Lida, do not forget. Each of your letters gives me a lot of pleasure. The more often you write, the more careful I will be. How is your mom? What does Tanya write? How manya? Generally write more and about everything. What's new on the cable car? What changes have occurred?
Be healthy. I embrace and kiss everyone tightly.
Your Vasya
21 March 1945 city
Hello dear!
Volodya! Why did you stop writing me letters? I am very worried about how you live there. Mom writes me often. She misses and worries that you are left alone without her. Volodya! Write me about your academic progress. Hope you learn well. Listen to your grandparents. I received a letter from you in which you write about Uncle Lesha. You are probably wondering if I have any rewards. I also have two orders. You don't have to blush for me. Your dad beats the German well and hopes that you will also learn well and obey. The war will end soon. I will come home. Let's all gather together and live well as before. Write to me like the health of grandfather, grandmother, aunt Sonya. What does mom write?
I wish you all good health. I embrace and kiss all tightly.
Your dad
Write more often. I will wait.
25 March 1945 city
Hello dear! Lida! It will probably seem very surprising to you that you receive letters so often. Of course, I do not differ in the accuracy of writing letters often, just today for some reason it became sad and sad. So I wanted to go home, that I can not explain to you. Perhaps influenced by spring. At this time, everyone wants to live, and therefore I don’t want to think about war. How quickly time flew by, and I, after all, meet the fourth spring far from my home - at the front. It is easy just to say how much and what during that time I did not change my mind. If it were not for the awareness that you are defending the Motherland, then this time would be a pity. When I'm bored, for some reason I remember all my former life. The war has taught to appreciate even what is sometimes neglected in citizenship. How many have to deny yourself. I envy many comrades who think little about how to spend their leisure time. I'm not talking about cinema, theater, and even a simple book in Russian is hard to get here, and you know perfectly well that I loved reading. Almost all free time passes in conversations and memories. Here your brother beware. Criticized so that the ears fade. In my heart, of course, many contradict, not everyone wants to show his I. You have more worries there, and therefore you have less free time, and even when you get together, you also have enough conversations. We have a lull now, but this lull reminds us that there will soon be a thunderstorm. The weather is warm and warm. We go undressing. When you receive this letter, it will be as good in Moscow as it is now with us. Then you will understand what spring is, and I hope you will not delay the response to this letter.
Write more about your personal life. Each person has his own hidden, inner life, which usually nobody knows. This is the desire and dreams that I would like to know. When I write this letter, I already guess what you will write to me, but I ask you not to be surprised at the content of my letter. My letters are generally distinguished by superfluous reasoning, and it is possible that some words are unpleasant for you. Well nothing. Lida! But when I arrive, you will not be offended at me either. I have changed a lot in my character and I think that it is not in a bad way. Those. I learned to appreciate life. Write me about Natasha. I also sent a letter to Volodya, but for some reason he does not write to me. I am afraid that many will break away from me and it will be hard for me at once. Write like mom's health. Glad you still look good, really, this is a bit dangerous. There are rear Don Juan capable of circling the head. I hope that everything will be all right.
Don't worry about me. I am alive and well.
I wish everyone good health.
Write about all. Where, who and how lives. What they write.
I embrace and kiss everyone tightly.
Vasya
3 September 1945 of
Hello dear! Lida! Today I received a letter from you and immediately replied. Frankly, I was surprised by the content of your letter. It is possible that I did not understand you that way, but it seems to me that you set conditions for me. Do you really think that I do not think about how we will and should live in the future? If I had at least a small opportunity to improve the conditions, I would do it immediately. Why ask me for advice and hint about my addiction to music? If it is necessary, I would not wait, but I would do what is best for the family. It is difficult for me to make any plans now, but I don’t know your thoughts. Hope I have to go home soon. Everything that will depend on me, I, of course, will do, but now I can't even say anything. I live without changes. Monotonous and very boring. The mood is disgusting, and if it were not for the dream that we were going home soon, it would seem to have gone mad. From (nrzb) no results yet. Write how you live there. How are things going with the products? How is your grandmother's health? If you decide to go on vacation to Pavlovo, then write to me more often, because then you will have a lot of free time. Now I am also not very busy, and therefore I will write more often. Although I am on my native land, I am not so close - 1000 km, and therefore I would be happy to come, but they are not let go.
Well, bless you. I wish you all the best and always good health.
I embrace and kiss all tightly.
Your Vasya
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