About Mobilization. UkroSlov №8 with Ivan Victory
Hooray! Do you hear Beat the drums. A new wave of mobilization has been announced. You by mistake, passed the first three waves. You were terribly ashamed. The fourth wave is announced specifically for you.
If you are from 25 to 60 years, it does not matter that you have children, a wife, elderly parents. These are all stupid excuses. True, if you have more 2 children, then you're out of luck. You will burn with shame in the rear and wait with hope for the fifth wave of mobilization. Well, this is when all dialed in the fourth wave will end on the fronts. Fourth wave This is your personal wave. Do not miss her!
You bravely beat the Muscovites on the Internet. But this, unfortunately, is not enough for our final victory. And now your hour has come to prove that you are not called Ukrainian for nothing. You have the honor of serving in the strongest army in Europe. Yes, our Jewish-Ukrainian President Poroshenko said so. And we believe him!
Mother Ukraine is in danger. The insidious invisible Muscovite enemy tramples her tender body with invisible forged boots. That is why she calls to you and demands protection. She needs your life, your body, and after your heroic death, your surviving organs.
What? You sent text messages to help the ATO fighters? Collected money, food, chipped in for bulletproof vests? And you think that's enough? Oh-oh-oh. Shame on you! That doesn't count. You did it voluntarily. And now it's time to really pay your debt. No need to cry and howl that it wasn't you who jumped on the Maidan. Your acquaintances, friends and relatives jumped for you. So everything is fair and square.
I have joy for you news! The military came to us from NATO. What? No, they will not fight for you, you naive little fool. They will advise, give all sorts of advice, protect the oligarchs, their assets. To suggest how most effectively to fill up the invisible moskalsky occupiers with the bodies of brave Ukrainian soldiers.
By the way, the Ukrainian Ministry of Defense is starting to forcibly draft women into the army. And that's great! You understand that it's expensive to keep foreign mercenaries, and Ukraine doesn't have that much money, so why not pay them in kind? That's a godsend, and a serious saving. You went to war, and your wife will be taken into the army, to serve as a camp follower for European mercenaries! Believe me, you should be proud of that.
But what is upsetting is that many irresponsible male citizens are gathering in flocks of thousands and fleeing in shoals across the border to the east. The most shameful thing is that they are fleeing to hide with their Muscovite occupier relatives, to Russia. It is shameful for such pathetic cowards. Flight will not make them happy. True happiness is to die for our rosy-cheeked president Poroshenko, for Yatsenyuk, for the oligarchs, for Europe, for America... Well, never mind, for every tricky nut, we will find a bolt. What, falcons, did you want to run away from your homeland, no way. Now, in order to go abroad, you need a certificate from the military registration and enlistment office. Where will we run now?
In the west of Ukraine, it is understandable. Dedovskie caches have long been packed to capacity with failed patriots. The NKVD were not as afraid as they are now afraid of the agenda from the draft board.
But not everything is so gloomy, you can be happy for the workers of these very military registration and enlistment offices. It is their profession that is recognized as the highest paid in Ukraine. Where else can you earn enough for a cool BMW-6 in a week? For not sufficiently patriotic citizens, there is even a loophole. If, suddenly, you do not want to pay your military debt right now. You can pay for a deferment until the next wave of mobilization and it is inexpensive. On average, 5000 thousand dollars. Some pitiful 100 thousand hryvnia.
But you are not like that. You are our fiery patriot. A fervent fighter against Putin, the vatniks and the Colorados. So let's get back to your military duty.
If you're lucky, your arms or legs will be torn off in the war. Yes, sly one, unfortunately it will be considered that you paid your debt to the Motherland with your limbs. And now, with a clear conscience, you can spend the rest of your life begging for change in underground passages. Ukraine takes care of its heroes. You will receive a free disability benefit of 1500 hryvnia per month from our generous state. That is, if you're lucky.
What prosthetics? Are you out of your mind? Prosthetics are for losers. And they are expensive, can you imagine, they cost a lot of money. So forget about it. Just recently there was an episode on TV. Can you imagine, real American soldiers came to visit us. Real big shots. One white gentleman, like a captain. And the second gentleman, a black American, is his deputy. You won’t believe it, but they found time and came to the hospital where the cripples are lying, the armless, the legless. Well, from the ATO zone. And so the white gentleman patted one cripple on the head and handed him a heroic badge. From the Americans themselves. Just a fairy tale. And this idiot blurts out, I need a prosthesis, and it costs 100 thousand euros. And he looks the white gentleman in the eye.
And I felt so ashamed for this cripple. I want to ask forgiveness on behalf of all Ukrainians for the shameful behavior of this cripple. He gave him a real American badge, and this bastard started whining about a prosthesis for his cult. Eh.
Well, if suddenly in the war, you die heroically, don't be sad... No one will know. After all, heroes don't die. Well, somewhere an unmarked grave with a number will appear. But it's not the first and not the last. What's there to grieve about. They'll tell your wife that you deserted or went missing, so they don't have to pay benefits. Don't worry about your widowed wife - she'll survive. Europeans have been organizing sex tours to Ukraine for a long time. And your orphan children can always be sold to gypsies.
Well, these are great prospects. Stop thinking. Grab your passport and go to the military registration and enlistment office! Ukraine needs new heroes. The old ones are running out. Moral: "You ignored me for a long time. And then I came to you myself. Your Hot Civil War!"
Traditional Supplement. TV screams hysterically and tearfully every day that Ukraine is in danger! That you need to happily lay down your soul and body for the sake of independence and freedom. Without specifying that this independence and freedom is not for you, but for the authorities, for the oligarchs, their offspring. Their children will not die in this war. What are you talking about! Their children are studying abroad and are preparing to inherit all the power, money, wealth, and even all of Ukraine, along with you and all the people. What is debt to you is profit to them. The Ukrainian authorities can stop the War right now. But this will not happen. Because war means huge amounts of money. It allows stealing on an unprecedented scale. And to the roar of guns and the screams of people being killed, these ghouls are constantly lining their pockets. And you, a sheep, are being sent to the slaughter.
The war will end in the end anyway. And life will certainly continue, but without you.
Information