Military Review

Legends and Myths of Great Ukriya (pantheon of gods and demons)

36
Legends and Myths of Great Ukriya (pantheon of gods and demons)



Pantheon of Ukrainian Gods

Part 1


Pu-ting - the supreme deity ukrov, menacing, omnipotent and unpredictable.

According to belief, absolutely everything in the world depends on the will of Puu-Tin, from the weather to the amount of hair on each person's head. Flooding, crop failure, fire, war, and even if just a cat throws newborn kittens - all this is Puu-Ting.

According to legend, Puu-Tin lives far away at Sunrise, in the terrible castle of Kare-Ma-Alin, whose towers are topped with stars scarlet from the blood of dead ukrovs. His throne is made of human bones, and at his feet rests a giant bear, able to devour the sun and the moon. Countless hordes of mighty and ruthless Green Demons serve this formidable deity, and even the nightmarish spirits of the underworld Nooh-chi, by one kind of his own, plunging any mortal into horror, he managed to subjugate to his will. In the dark kingdom of Puu-Tin is stored magic tube, givering fire. And woe to those who provoke the terrible god: a cold and hungry winter awaits him without fire and light.

This powerful deity inspires mortal terror so much that it’s impossible to call it by name, so as not to cause trouble. Two dozen metaphorical names and nicknames invented by ancient ukrami for Puu-Tin form the basis of modern Ukr verbal culture. They are based on hundreds of proverbs, songs and spells.

To appease Puu-Tin, tribal shamans several times a year arrange solemn ceremonies on the Holy Maidan with kindling bonfires (so that the Magic Pipe giving fire), with ritual dances and jumps, with collective reading of spells and singing hymns dedicated to Puu-Ting.

Lee-ning - an ancient half-forgotten deity, demiurge, father of Puu-Tin.

The ancient people have a co-wok, from which according to some sources ukry and 14 of other tribes originated, Lee-Ning was revered as the supreme deity, creator of the universe and the giver of all blessings. No wonder his idols are still preserved in the lands occupied by Ukrami and other descendants of the once powerful, highly developed civilization co-voc. However, over time, the idea of ​​this deity, for an unexplained reason, changed to the opposite: the current Ukrainian shamans consider Lee-Ning an evil spirit, who dreams to eradicate the Ukrainian people. Despite the fact that in the modern pantheon he occupies only the second place after his son Puu-Tin, simple ukry feel no less awe in front of him. It is believed that the particles of the force of Lee-Ning are enclosed in idols, so he is always invisibly present on earth. According to one of the beliefs, to get rid of the eternal fear, you need to destroy them all, what ukry and do with enviable persistence. According to another legend, when the last stone Leie-Nin falls, this terrible god, on the contrary, will return to the world and punish the wicked.

Interestingly, the denial of Leie-ning and his cult created a serious logical gap in the entire ukrov mythological system. In their legendarium is missing история the creation of the world, and the shamans say about the origin of the tribe itself that ukry came from ancient ukrov, which in turn appeared by themselves from nowhere.

It is curious that the denial of the myth of the creation of the universe, Lee Ning does not prevent the Ukramians from counting their own lands, according to legend, donated by this deity to the Ancestors of the tribe, who at that time still belonged to the co-civilization. Ancient sanctuaries, mills and forges, built to the glory of Lee-Nin, also consider ukry to be theirs, although they use only a small part of them because of the loss of the knowledge necessary for this.

Staa lin - Another son of Lee-Nin, about which very little information remained. In the civilization of co-wok, he was worshiped as the god of crafts, who taught people to build forges and mills, and also to make weapon and make fire with a magic pipe. He was also credited with the functions of the patron saint of military art, who bestowed victory over neighboring warlike nations, and he, according to some sources, followed the harmony in the world and administered justice, sometimes very cruelly. In other words, it is obvious that the functionality of this deity in the beliefs of the ancient people was very diverse, and undoubtedly, Staa-Lin enjoyed considerable respect.

In modern ukrov beliefs, his image is considerably simplified. For some unexplained reason, at some point, the name Staa-ling began to denote various tragic events that shamans of the tribe, due to the loss of most scientific knowledge inherited from the collocations, could not give a reasonable explanation, such as a cold winter or a poor harvest.

One of the nicknames Staa-Lin - Holodomorets.

Giir-Kiin, Black Shooter - the terrible god of war in the service of Puu-Tin.

According to legend, Geer-Kiin appears where three or more members of the tribe are gathered, dissatisfied with the current leader. The Strelka, who saw it, is immediately imbued with his belligerent spirit and begins to whip his spear or look for a club. It is impossible to recover from such an obsession, so the obsessed, as well as their relatives, are trying to immediately destroy it. And the shamans of the Sacred Maidan vigilantly ensure that the members of the tribe did not meet for three or more, unless they are specially convened to conduct the ceremony.
Like the name Pu-Tin, the name of the Black Arrow is strictly tabooed.

This god has his own retinue of many demons and second-rate mythological creatures.

Moto-Ro - one of the companions of Geir-Kiin, depicted as an evil dwarf, dressed in armor.
According to the legend, it moves on a magic chariot invulnerable to arrows and spears. In battle, I can turn at once five hundred nooh-chi demons.

Koh-Zhu-Geth - Another militant deity, which is also attributed to the power over various elements, the leader of the Green Demons. His armies are innumerable, and no matter how much their bright spirits A-Too beat, the thinning ranks are invariably replenished with new creatures. According to legend, every Green Daemon can turn into a cat and in this form quietly penetrate anywhere. Ko-Joo-Get himself turns into a giant bear. According to one version - in the very thing that lies at the throne of Puu-Tin and wants to devour the moon and the sun.

Ram-zan - supreme demon nooh-chi. This kind of evil spirits is not as powerful as the Green Demons, but it is notable for its particular ferocity and high visibility.

According to legend, once nooh-chi waged a long bloody war with Puu-Ting, but in the end were forced to recognize the power of the supreme deity. What are these creatures, is not completely understood. Apparently, they have the ability to become invisible and create illusions.

Kis el oo - the cunning god of deception and lies from the retinue Puu-Tin.

His voice casts a wraith, forcing him to believe in what is not. For example, in the politeness of the Green Demons, in that Le-Nin created the universe or that the great leader drinks firewater and steals the best pieces of mammoths extracted, instead of taking care of the prosperity of the tribe.
The shamans of the sacred Maidan constantly struggle with the attempts of Kis-El-Oo to obscure the mind of ukrov, and if they hear his voice somewhere, they immediately try to drown him, singing the sacred hymn “Great Ukriya did not die”.

Ah-Lin-Aa - beautiful forever young goddess of love, consort Puu-Ting.

She knows three thousand love poses and is able to arouse passion even in a decrepit old man. It is believed that pronouncing her name helps to recover from male impotence.

In addition, Aa-Ling-Aa is revered as the patroness of sports games.

Nyash-Myash - goddess of justice

It is depicted as Aa-Ling-Aa, in the image of a beautiful maiden, but every Ukrainian knows that her appearance is deceptive and, having met Nyash-Myash by chance, in no case should you give in to her charm, especially if your conscience is unclean. The goddess reads his eyes about all the sins committed by man and punishes instantly and mercilessly.

Part 2

Raa goz
- the god-smith, the evil genius of the castle Kare-Ma-Alin, who bestows fire arrows and iron chariots on the Green Demons. According to legend, he taught some tribes to melt metal and make weapons of it.

If on the lands of a tribe they saw Raa-Goz in human form, this means that either the local leader will soon have a new spear with a unique bronze tip, or a war will begin.

Gia-Rick - the god-trickster, bringing discord and confusion in the world of gods and in the world of people. Its main function is to make speeches, on whose interpretation the destinies of the world depend. Ukry believe that Puu-Tin himself metaphorically expresses himself with the lips of Jii-Rik, so the priests discuss his every word for a long time, looking for hidden meanings in it.

In addition, this god sometimes interferes directly in earthly affairs, influencing them in the most unpredictable way. For example, once, when the light spirits of A-Too almost already defeated the evil dwarf Moto-Ro, Giii-Rik appeared and presented the eternal enemy with a magic chariot, invulnerable to arrows and spears, on which he fled from the battlefield.

A-Too - light spirits that protect Ukriya from Giir-Kiin and the Green Demons. Ukry believe that somewhere on the Rise, at the very borders of the ominous kingdom of Puu-Tin, the powerful and fearless A-Too in shining armor and snow-white wings behind him for many centuries lead an endless war with great evil. The priests of the god of truth Tym-Chuu say that the defenders of Ukriya are immortal and, no matter how difficult the battle would be, do not bear any losses. At the same time several times a year the great leader calls young men from Ukrainian villages to undergo initiation in A-to. The shamans of the sacred Maidan conduct a special ceremony that turns a simple Ukra in the immortal A-Too, after which he sets off for Sunrise. What happens to the initiates afterwards is not known to science, since none of them have ever returned.

The powerful patrons of Great Ukrii Sae-Man, Yayash-Roche and Lyash-Ook commanded the spirits of A-Too.

Band-er-aa - god of order and harmony.

With all the popularity of this deity, about him, little is known. According to ancient prophecy, Band-Er-Aa will come one day and bring order, but where and when it happens - the traditions are not specified. Nevertheless, the shamans and ordinary members of the tribe do not get tired to call him and even arrange colorful processions with torches in his honor.

Images of this deity are often found in the rock paintings of the Ukr caves.

Tym-Chuu - the great god of truth, the only one who is able to resist the treacherous Kis El Oo. Depicted as a man with an unreasonably large head (the Great Truth is stored in it). Tym-Chuu belongs to the sacred Helmet of Insight, which allows time and space to be pierced by the mind in search of Truth.

Psaa-ki - wife Tym-Chuu, herald of the bright spirits of the heavenly kingdom of Ev-Roo. Depicted as a beautiful maiden, shod in one sandal. The second according to the legend, she lost on the way to the Oo-fis sanctuary, where the secrets of the universe are revealed to the elect. And her head is so heavy from knowledge that it can fall off at any moment, so it has to be supported with the help of magical beads. Psaa-Ki speaks to mortals on behalf of the most radiant O-Ba-Maa, and sometimes even tells them the sacred knowledge about the secret device of the universe, which is not visible to the mere mortal. For example, she discovered the secret to the ukram that in the endless steppes of Ros-Too there are in fact hidden mountains, and under the roots of the Great Forest Be-La-Ruu the endless sea splashes.

Part 3

So, something I currently have no time to do with the Pantheon, so the third part I will post individually.

Nuu-lan - the great goddess of satiety and prosperity, the antipode of the Famine. In winter, when the demon of darkness and cold, Mi-Leyer, closes the magic pipe and the fires in the dwellings of the ukrov are extinguished, the shamans summon their flock to the sacred Maidan in order to urge Nuu-Lan to ritual leaps and burning out the magic tires. According to legend, if ukry will jump hard enough, the goddess will appear at the call with a large basket of cookies.

Interestingly, the ritual of calling Nuu-Lahn, possessing tremendous sacral power, does not have a clearly directed vector of action, which leads to unpredictable results. Every time, starting the ceremony, the shaman does not know exactly what kind of forces will come at the call. So, for example, when in the village of Kyi-E the last time Nuu-Lan was called, E-Tiin-Ge, Eesh-Too, and a dozen more bright spirits of the heavenly kingdom of Ev-Roo responded with her. When some time later a similar ritual was attempted to be conducted near the village of Doo-Ne on the eastern outskirts of the Ukrainian lands, Giir-Kiin appeared with fifty demons, expelled the shamans and turned the villagers into militant vaat-ni.

Shakhcherti - Numerous third-rate dark creatures that live under the ground, where they produce light and heat for the Upper World. Shakhchert is black-faced, his third eye is burning in the forehead with an underground flame, and a pickaxe and a shovel are in his hands. Most of the time, miners drink firewater and lift up decent ukrovs, and when they get very hungry, they go down into their holes and bring people some black stones, which change for food and, again, for firewater.

Most miners live far away at Sunrise, where Trekhlisky keeps them from being lazy, forcing them to continually extract light and heat, which then changes to the leaves of the laa-ve tree. On the lands of Great Ukriya and other human tribes, these creatures also live. Once, the Great Light Goddess Teet-Cher imprisoned them all over the world so that they could inflate the Underground Fire day and night, bringing light and heat to the homes of gods and people. But the treacherous Giir-Kiin knocked the bolts from their dungeons in Ukriya, and they broke to the surface and began to create outrages ...

Waa-t-nick - the most numerous kind of dark creatures inhabiting the possessions of the great Puu-Ting. Once waa-t-nick was a tribe of people related ukram. Some ukry even traveled to the VA-t-Nick country to help their brothers grow laa ve trees and took a small fraction of the sacred leaves to their homeland. But therefore, waa-t-nick sold the souls of Puu-ting in exchange for light and heat from the Great Pipe. Since then, the foci in the dwellings of the baa-t-nick never faded away, but they themselves also ceased to be human beings, for the treacherous Kis-El-Oo clouded their minds. And never again be their brothers free ukram! Now they are the opposite.

As young men from Ukrainian villages undergo initiation, joining the ranks of the heavenly warriors A-Too, so the young waa-t-nik undergo the priest-cia-haa ritual to replenish the ranks of the wicked Green Demons. And if ukry love bright clothes of sky and sun colors, then waa-t-nik decorate their robes with sinister striped ribbons of colors of fire and smoke, for which they are also called koo-lo-raa.

Dressed vaa-t-nick most often in armor, protecting them from bullets, cold and the sobering words Tym-Chuu. Their favorite entertainment is to attack ukrov in small groups and try to convert them. The only salvation for the victim of such an attack is to call the baa-t-nickname a forbidden word and proudly withdraw, because at first, the small strength of these creatures increases if they are tried to fight them.

The legend of the betrayal of the land of Kıram and the treasure of the gods that befell her

There was in the Great Ukriy the blessed land of Kyram, where the sun always shone, the warm sea splashed and all sorts of flowers bloomed that there is in the sublunary world. And there lived evil, stupid, ungrateful people who could not appreciate the benefits bestowed upon them from above. Many times the leaders and shamans of Great Ukriya turned to the inhabitants of Kiram, urging them to come to the sacred Maidan, read with all the powerful spell, take the light path leading to the heavenly kingdom of Ev-Roo. But the fools have not heard these wise words. He did not go to the sacred Maidan, did not sing spells, did not perform rites, did not wait for the coming of the all-merciful Ban-Der-Aa, and instead of the heavenly kingdom of Ev-Roo turned their gaze to the cloister of the evil Kare-Ma-Alin.

And there was a day when, in all the villages in all the regions of great Ukriya, “Zdobuly!” Were shouting, and the new supreme shaman, the wisest Tuur-Chi, opened the gates to the heavenly kingdom, and the great Peremoga, which had been waiting for ukry for centuries and which in every way brought ritual jumps and burning sacred tires. And only the inhabitants of the land of Kyram did not jump, did not shout and did not bring the great Peremogh closer. Because the wicked Puu-Tin appeared to them and said these words:

- Oh, the inhabitants of the blessed land Kyram, cast off the faith of the great ukrov! Do not honor the mother of all things HaLa-Waa and do not wait for the great Peremoga, but worship me and give me your sea, and the shores, and all that is on them. In return, I will give you some warmth and light from the magic trumpet, dedicate you to Ko-Lo-Raa demons with the right to decorate your garments with ribbons of the color of fire and smoke, and teach you to grow the sacred trees of la-ve.

Shamelessly the wicked Puu-Tin lied, for everyone knows: La ve ve trees do not grow on the land of Kyram. And only the gracious leaders of the village KuuE can send there a small fraction of the sacred leaves. But the inhabitants of Kiram were stupid, and they did not know how to appreciate the mercy of the leader and the shamans. They believed in the sweet speeches of the wicked Puu-Tin and rebelled against the shamans, and called upon themselves the leaders of the rotten atheists of Ak-Syo and Chaa-Ly.

Then the Supreme Shaman Tuur-Chi decided to rationalize the foolish, and he addressed them with these words:

- Oh, foolish inhabitants of the land of Kyram! Ease your anger and worship, as before, our great mother HaLa-Baa and the all-merciful Band-Er-Aa. And for that I give you a great mov ukrov, so that you forget the foul language of the wa-tni and approached the heavenly kingdom of Ev-Roo.

But only the unreasonable inhabitants of the land of Kyram rustled louder and wrapped their homes with sheets of flowers of snow, water and blood, which the wicked Puu-Tin loved so much.

And then the second shaman Tuur-Chi addressed them the second time:

- Oh, foolish inhabitants of the land of Kyram! Remove from your homes the rags of the dark god and hang proud cloths of the colors of blood and smoke, as the great Ban-Der-Aa bequeathed. And in order to make it easier to do this, I will send you to help the priests and monks of the Ban-Der-Loo sect, so that they may help you to be cleansed of filth and return to the true faith.

But again they did not heed the foolish wise speeches, and they held on the square the Naa-chemical bloody rite, calling upon the dark gods of the Rise.

And on a moonless night out of the sea on the outskirts of the land of Kyram, which is looking at Sunrise, ten thousand cats. And everyone who saw them was speechless with horror, for they were black, like the abyss itself, and silent, and their eyes glowed in the darkness with an ominous green fire. And those cats entered the dwelling of all the inhabitants of the land of Kyram, who did not renounce the Great Leader and faith in Peremogh, and all the caves where the soldiers of Great Ukrii slept. And at dawn the cats hit the ground and turned into green demons

And then for the third time the supreme shaman Tuur-Chi raised his voice:

- Oh, foolish inhabitants of the land of Kyram! Rise up against the wicked minions of filthy Puu-ting! Throw him out of your land, but then you will be granted the right to continue to live as part of a single and indivisible, independent and independent, unitary Great Ukriya and deduct your taxes to the village of KuuE.
But for the third time the inhabitants of the land of Kiram did not heed the wise speeches of the shaman. And they went, driven by fiery swords of green demons, into the shrines, and sang the glory of the wicked Puu-Ting, and recognized him as the supreme god.

And then they raised their batons and bows with the glorious won of Great Ukriya, in order not to allow the fools to give the sacred land to the Ukrskaya under the power of darkness, and went out to battle with the green demons. But the cunning and cowardly were demons. They put in front of them the children and wives of the Ukrskys and promised to kill them all, if the soldiers did not lay down their weapons. And the soldiers laid down their bows and batons and left the land of Kyram in order to prevent innocent victims, because this is the eternal nature of Ukrainian knighthood.

Then the Supreme Shaman Tuur-Chi called all the inhabitants of the village of KuuE to the sacred Maidan. For seven days and seven nights they prayed to the bright gods of the heavenly kingdom of Ev-Roo, so that the gods of the green demons and the mean traitors of the land of Kyram would be punished. And their prayers were heard, and a terrible punishment befell the traitors. Forever closed for the wicked leaders of the land of Kyram the golden gates of the heavenly kingdom of Ev-Roo. And the rivers that feed the cursed land turned back, and the sun grew dim over it. Darkness and hunger came to Kyram. From now on, flowers do not bloom there, crocodiles do not grow and crocodiles do not milk, cattle do not breed and birds now fly around this place along a parabolic trajectory, and the sea is frozen along with fish and bathing inhabitants. Neither step now, nor dare to say a word to dastardly traitors, because their green demons with fiery swords keep watch over them, and all the discontented are exiled to the snowy land of Siibirr to sculpt snowmen. The traitors cry bitterly and implore the great leader Poro-Syo to take them back, but the leader is adamant. For every crime is a worthy punishment.

So says the legend.

It should be noted here that a somewhat different version of this legend has been preserved in the ballad “Kyram sailed away” by the famous bard Kaa-Gui from the Kolo-raa tribe. However, the Ukrainian sources clearly indicate that you should not trust the words of this writer, for “he was cursed three times by the great priest Tur-Chi for his mean lies, and his portrait was spat upon by every honest ukrom. And it is not a joy since then to the evil-tongued bard free light and heat from the magic pipe and even the green leaves of the tree la ve, with which the unholy Puu-Tin generously bestows for his foul songs. For there is nothing worse than the curse of great ukrov! "
Author:
Originator:
http://klir.diary.ru/p201316755.htm?oam#more1
36 comments
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  1. MolGro
    MolGro 12 December 2014 05: 57
    +25
    The future is already visible, but not everyone can watch so that to see!
    1. FREGATENKAPITAN
      FREGATENKAPITAN 12 December 2014 06: 33
      +4
      And then .... 140 thousand years of the history of the Great People of the UK-RA are not jokes!
      1. hedgehog in the fog
        hedgehog in the fog 12 December 2014 06: 41
        +13
        Thanks to the author, a funny article. and then too much negativity lately ,,,
        1. Scandinavian
          Scandinavian 12 December 2014 07: 31
          +3
          Rzhaka I can not =)
          1. just exp
            just exp 12 December 2014 11: 55
            +2
            I'm generally a lover of mythology, this article draws on getting into the encyclopedia, 5+.
      2. Момент
        Момент 12 December 2014 07: 26
        +6
        How they will live when their patrons throw, everyone will jump into the Black Sea
        1. Zhekson
          Zhekson 12 December 2014 16: 01
          0
          I recently read that in Ukraine there are textbooks of a certain historian who says that Jesus Christ, Buddha, Columbus, the ancient Egyptians are Ukrainians !!!

          http://www.e-news.su/in-ukraine/14378-kiev-priznal-buddu-i-iisusa-hrista-ukrainc
          ami.html
  2. The comment was deleted.
    1. domokl
      domokl 12 December 2014 06: 57
      +4
      I agree. I read it with pleasure. The tale is a lie ... this is the second such material for today ... The main thing is that everything is correctly arranged.
      But I’m worried about something else ... People in extreme sports start to laugh when their full ass comes ...
  3. Ruslan67
    Ruslan67 12 December 2014 06: 07
    +13
    Ready-made textbook on the history of ancient ukrov fool If you slip them to the Minister of Education, approve or not what
  4. Benderovets 2
    Benderovets 2 12 December 2014 06: 07
    +1
    The author Clear puffed and puffed.
  5. Wolka
    Wolka 12 December 2014 06: 07
    0
    nonsense and only ...
    1. Berlioz's head
      Berlioz's head 12 December 2014 08: 13
      .
      Quote: Volka
      nonsense and only ...

      yes, the contest of slop articles continues.
  6. 89067359490
    89067359490 12 December 2014 06: 08
    +5
    Still about the fabulous country E-E-C add)))
    1. lukewarm
      lukewarm 12 December 2014 11: 07
      +2
      She is represented there as Evro
  7. Dezinto
    Dezinto 12 December 2014 06: 11
    +6
    exhale ...

    not well, but for the effort, of course, the offset ... the floor of the article was curious)
  8. Blackwizardru
    Blackwizardru 12 December 2014 06: 15
    +3
    It's a pity only one "+" can be put belay
    Here the Author needs to put at least one hundred "+" !!!
    1. Gorinich
      Gorinich 12 December 2014 12: 22
      +2
      I agree, brilliantly. Tolkien is resting laughing
  9. The comment was deleted.
  10. kazak77
    kazak77 12 December 2014 06: 18
    +4
    The saga smiled.
  11. Uncle lee
    Uncle lee 12 December 2014 06: 23
    +12
    He smiled ... But what about the insidious leader Khru-schaa, why not mention?
  12. The comment was deleted.
  13. Evgeniy82
    Evgeniy82 12 December 2014 06: 36
    +3
    Jii-Rick is a trickster god who brings discord and confusion to the world of gods and to the world of people.

    Ha Ha Ha Ha ...
  14. Rav075
    Rav075 12 December 2014 06: 50
    +1
    Did Farion write? wassat
  15. Rurikovich
    Rurikovich 12 December 2014 06: 58
    +2
    To the author - oh .... th respect! And a million pluses !!! Laughed in the morning, received a charge of positive emotions for the whole day !!! thank hi
    Although the story is written ...
  16. avvg
    avvg 12 December 2014 06: 59
    +3
    Thanks to the author! 5+ I read with pleasure the history of ancient ukrov, the chapter on the gift of a puppeteer Khrusha of Crimea is an ancient ukram, children are visible tore pages from the textbook.
  17. viruvalge412ee
    viruvalge412ee 12 December 2014 07: 07
    +1
    Yernichanie, and more!
  18. Zomanus
    Zomanus 12 December 2014 07: 18
    +3
    Not funny. Nefig to be compared to these idiots. About us, too, you can make such nonsense.
  19. Vasily Ivashov
    Vasily Ivashov 12 December 2014 07: 30
    +4
    Not bad at all. To the author plus.
    The only thing, somehow, was the great Ukria itself, and its light and dark heroes.
    It seems that winter, the measures undertaken by the government, the IMF, the elections, or rather their outcome, somehow very strongly, if not completely cured, then very much distracted the Ukrainians from their great and terribly independent history.
    interesting. our government understands that ours is waiting for a barrage of influx of these former and current ukrov?
    1. demon184
      demon184 12 December 2014 13: 17
      0
      Yes, the influx is waiting. All hope for an egg, can shield us from them with an insurmountable wall
  20. Noncombatant
    Noncombatant 12 December 2014 07: 58
    -3
    Fairy - flat humor. A joke, even in the worst situation, is always great, but only a well-prepared and subtle joke is good. In order to prepare and reproduce a funny and "sharp" joke, you must have a sickly sense of humor based on erudition, taste and tact. And this looks like a cranberry-cranberry heresy, with oblique a la people, in the hope of approval and praise. As if a schoolboy was composing. Lazha. It is with the approval of such "masterpieces of humor" that we take a step towards those we are joking at. "Great Ukrainians" also started with such innocent and seemingly funny things. Everyone knows what happened. The country of embroidered shirts and shouts: "We will have a mustache." Oh well.
  21. Curious
    Curious 12 December 2014 08: 04
    +3
    Great advantage. Everything is put in its place and laid out on the shelves. Let the people of "great" Ukriya know who and how to worship.
  22. The Sparkle
    The Sparkle 12 December 2014 09: 07
    +2
    It is clear that the person tried - he composed)). And I am reminded of the old fantastic story of Bushkov, about the woman warrior "Anastasia". There, too, deities are mentioned - the Hollow-headed Khru with a corncob, the Great Bre and the Shaggy Tro ...))))
  23. Igarr
    Igarr 12 December 2014 09: 29
    +3
    Sad of all this and not fun.
    There is already something to make fun of, the legends and myths of Ukria, stylized as the epic of the peoples of the North.
    And reality says quite the opposite. Today's VO materials speak of the diametrically opposite. Or, on the contrary, about a very significant coincidence with ".. legends and myths .." - if only look from the other side of the curtain.
    ...
    I would have admired and would have made a "maximum repost" if our President had not been running around the world like a salesman of a burned-out company. If he had not been silent, at one time, when all behind this silence saw some wild plans. But it turned out that there were no plans. Everything was left at the mercy of rogues.
    But now - one rampant chatter from the screen. Prior to that, the Prime Minister agreed, to listen to everything dearly - NEED TO KEEP !!!
    Hurt yourself.
    Hold on to whom? And for what?
    ...
    That is when the President of the United States flies to Moscow in passing, when the President of Uzbekistan in Moscow begins to receive forgiveness of debts, when "all the guests of the world will come to us" - then it makes sense to cheer.
    And now it’s better to be silent.
    You look, let's go for the smart and the incomprehensible.
  24. 3vs
    3vs 12 December 2014 09: 35
    0
    Here is an interesting article: http://politobzor.net/show-38901-ne-vidat-vam-es.html
    It would be nice to squeeze her here to discuss and admonish fat lovers.
  25. nivander
    nivander 12 December 2014 10: 02
    +1
    pretty fun
  26. driver
    driver 12 December 2014 10: 32
    +1
    Thanks to the author. Neighing from the heart.
  27. mamont5
    mamont5 12 December 2014 11: 35
    +1
    Quote: domokl
    .Laughing people in extreme begin when a full ass comes ...


    While we can laugh, we are invincible.
  28. terrible
    terrible 12 December 2014 12: 46
    +1
    ))))))))))
  29. Kibl
    Kibl 12 December 2014 13: 55
    0
    Jumping on the spot made of a monkey great-great-uk! Then, having got a club in his paws, he became a fighter of the battalions "Azov", "Dnepr" and other packs!
  30. mugeek73
    mugeek73 12 December 2014 14: 11
    0
    Tolkien is resting!
  31. IAlex
    IAlex 12 December 2014 17: 09
    0
    I thought there would be clippings from their history textbooks so that we could collectively neigh over what was written - but break off ...
  32. PSih2097
    PSih2097 12 December 2014 19: 25
    0
    add from myself ...
    As it was established by Ukrainian scientists for a million years BC

    The country of Aryan-Ukrainians extended from the Hindu Kush to the Atlantic.

    It was the greatest empire of antiquity ...
    And then out of nowhere came the damned i.

  33. PSih2097
    PSih2097 12 December 2014 19: 35
    0
    and further...
    From the published history book of Ukraine. (Translation from Ukrainian with notes).
    An excerpt from a Ukrainian history book on the Holodomor looks something like this:
    Once upon a time there lived a dancing nation, a merry people. And so he loved to dance and have fun, that the rest, not so advanced peoples of the world marveled and envied. Or maybe they were annoyed by the creak of floorboards and latitudes-meridians under girls’s boots, but they could not create anything to stop that dance, because besides all, there were trousers from the local couple, as well as good horses and sharp Cossack sabers fed with bread and salt. In the end, if some evil people were too bored, the little pair of ships outfitted the ships hollowed out of the best trees in the world and went on a march across the seas to pacify the negligent, it happened, they even got to Greece. However, worse than all the imperfect peoples was, of course, the strange and terribly wild northern people. At first, the noble dancing people felt sorry for the northern dirties, even taught them to build huts, forge iron, navigate stars and at least occasionally make laundry. But the vile northern people, until then living in caves and trees with bears, harbored a cruel resentment against the dancing people, stemming from their own insignificance.
    From time to time, the degenerate people living in snowdrifts made military sorties. He wanted to take away warm lands and warm seas from a ballerinar, bread-and-solo people - a dancer, and to take them to his arctic wastes. Usually, good lads easily drove the unkempt away to their lairs, and sometimes they were helped by another friend people, also very kind and peculiar, nicknamed the Tatars. Together, hand in hand, two brother nations sent off the bad northerners and again calmly went about their daily business. The Tatar people grew grapes, and the dancing people weaved “rushnyky”. And so those “rushnyks" were valued in the world, that even overseas peoples ordered them in large quantities and exported them everywhere, even to the New World.
    1. PSih2097
      PSih2097 12 December 2014 19: 36
      0
      However, the vile cave, snowy people still could not calm down. He bored, of course, of other nations, not only the dancing people, but he was angry with him more than anything else. From time to time, other good, kind peoples taught the degenerate people good manners, once again putting him in the wort and driving him into impenetrable forests, which he still could not learn to process, despite the prompts.
      And then one day, in one bad year, the northern people-bloodsucker chose a new king, Herod. That Herod king slammed all the other pretenders, one even walled up in the mausoleum. Then he spread his paws and grabbed all the surrounding lands, spreading his Empire of Abominations from sea to sea. Over time, all the other peoples of the Abomination Empire humbled themselves from the hardships and totalitarian weeding being perpetrated by the northern barbarians, and there was only one dancing nation that was not amenable to collective farm training. For in fact, the mores of vile collective farms humiliated the dancing people to the very throat. There, after all, from an incomprehensible stream, they were considered equal, and the real good owners had nowhere to collect farm laborers for spring sowing or autumn harvesting, in order to give them a kick in the ass between the indicated periods. In addition, they also demanded to socialize everything that had been accumulated by the farm laborers barefoot for the long years that had passed after the distribution of landowner land. That was absolutely no way.
      Therefore, before the arrival of the marauding detachments of food surplus from idle, obscene factory factories in the cities, figuring good-for-nothing cities, the good masters quickly pulled up all their beast and ate in three belts. And why was, in the Cause itself, not to eat, for example, oxen? They don’t give milk, right? They only plow the black earth. But so, after all, the vile king Herod promised that in the collective farm system iron machines about one hundred horse fortunes would plow and sow. Why then the oxen? But the sneaky Herod deceived. He riveted tanks to expand the Abomination in Europe and Asia, and made less than the promised million of tractors: therefore, for carrying guns and towing the same tanks in the swamps, there were enough "khalkhin-heads", but not for chernozems. Now, for plowing, the plow lacked oxen or canceled farm laborers. It goes without saying that you sow this and that ... If you don’t sow anything ... But they ate inside the belly ahead of time all the same is not enough, for the next year was fruitless, and the meat in the stomach tract had already resolved quite a while ago.
      1. PSih2097
        PSih2097 12 December 2014 19: 36
        0
        And then “food surplus” came again with a bayonet and pulled out the last crumb in each hut from each child, which used the “nipple” nipples. Then the monster people surrounded all the villages with barbed wire under the current, for which he had beforehand banged the Dnieper and lay down behind the knoll, smiling at the sighting frame of the Maxim machine gun. And that means, as soon as someone leaned out “from the hut” to break a grass or to catch a fat ant, he immediately fell flat, sprinkling black soil. And so the northern bloodsucking people in this matter got accustomed to the fact that almost all the good Ukrainians have already been eliminated by hunger. Fell without funerals, dances and music for fifty or one hundred "millions", and died if they were "good us," if the good, kind peoples of Europe, having learned about the mountain, had not rallied and moved to the Abomination Empire on the big tank "Tiger", mighty crush the machine-gun carts of the king Herod. And then the Tsar Herod fled from the chernozemic, glorious country to his Kremlin “fortress”, which had almost collapsed from the inside, from wheat and millet poured inside.
        And again, the people-dancers wanted to dance, but now they didn’t dance as merrily as before, because he remembered the unburied branches and sabbaths and set to work - to recount them, number them and re-bury. And for many years he has been working a shovel, but everything is not visible to the work of that end-edge. For now there are few of us good Ukrainians, and earlier it was more like that, somewhere like the Chinese in the country of the good Ming family.
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  34. Mitrich76
    Mitrich76 12 December 2014 19: 44
    0
    Author, patent text. When all this appears in Ukrainian history and religion textbooks, at least a fee can be demanded (through the Geyropei court)
  35. Koldobina
    Koldobina 12 December 2014 19: 58
    0
    Ah yes Pushkin, oh yes ... what a charm !!!
  36. The comment was deleted.
  37. forest park 86
    forest park 86 14 December 2014 23: 08
    0
    haha sweet. the author of the name a couple of letters is not lost? otherwise it’s the place with these opuses