Instructions for Salabon

Instructions for Salabon


How to survive in the army? The hall stank of bleach, sweat and fear. “Run, bitches! - the first thing shouted military commissar. “In the construction battalion, your mother!” Then he moved his cap on the back of his head and philosophically remarked: “If the head is in order, the guy will crawl out of the skin, if only he doesn’t fly into the construction battalion” ... 17 years have passed and nothing has changed. Still in the construction battalion is better not to fly into. And in order to return from the army with a young man with a broken tooth, and not with a broken kidney, one must, as before, be a strong kid, be able to endure pain, don’t take a word from anyone, and don’t be afraid of blood - not one’s own or anyone’s. We were convinced of this by talking heart to heart with the current "grandfathers".


How to recognize the "grandfather"?

- Unhook the hook on the shirt collar.

- The cap (cap, cap) famously shifted to the back of the head.

- Hair is longer than statutory.

- The belt is curved and the belt hangs below the belt.


When not to "arise"?

Recruits perform some types of work, calculated, in theory, for all personnel. For example, they wash the floor in the barracks. This is normal: it is necessary for the newcomers to work hard, but the last months of the service will not be overshadowed by the rough work. Even "grandfathers" can "legally" order to drive them to the dining room for bread and sugar, peel potatoes, and clear snow.

Salabon Dictionary

The smell is a soldier who has not yet taken the oath.

Spirit, salabon - a soldier who took the oath.

Skull, scoop - a soldier who served more than six months.

Grandfather - a soldier who remains to the end of the service less than six months.


Demob is the “grandfather” who will resign in the coming months.

Jackal - a soldier with the rank of ensign or higher (from the commanding staff).

Dyhanka - the period until the soldier is considered the "spirit".


But this is chaos

If the "grandfather" asks the "spirit" to give a cigarette, he, according to the demob, must provide it within two minutes. If this does not happen, the "grandfather" will give another two minutes, but you will need to bring four cigarettes already. When the “grandfather” gets tired of waiting, he can let go of the “spirit”, and at night send him to buy cigarettes outside the military unit. If the "spirit" is caught, all the "grandfathers" will be sent to the guardhouse. After their return to the "spirits" will be very "fun".

If the "grandfather" comes into the room in the middle of the night to the "spirits" and says protractively: "Doo-yh-chi-and-and-and!", They must answer: the “grandfather” will not wait for an answer (everyone has fallen asleep), the night of the “spirits” will be sleepless.

If the "grandfather" goes into the room to the "spirits" and gives the command: "Dry the crocodiles!", All the "spirits" should climb on the bed so that the hands are on the same railing, and the legs on the other (something like a bridge). This can last up to 10 minutes.




Spirit is a person with a weak "me"

What can a young soldier oppose to an army order? The head of the department of clinical psychology of the Scientific Center for Mental Health of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences Sergei ENIKOLOPOV says this:

“I'm afraid the young man has nothing to oppose to the laws of the system.” They must confront the officers. But if you ask the officers how to influence disobedient, non-performing soldiers, the answer will be one: beat. The officer himself, of course, will not beat, this is done by encouraging hazing. It’s like in the zone when the camp authorities start turning a blind eye to the fact that the structure is held by “authorities”. Alone in such conditions become tough, others - not. Now it depends on personal qualities, upbringing, understanding of what human dignity is. If a person does not allow to be humiliated, then he does not allow this in relations with colleagues.




Demob tips

"Grandfather" I learned immediately. By a loosely hanging belt and by the negligence with which he showed the sergeant standing next to him with a crowbar, where to hammer a hole. Exactly - it turned out demob. Name is Max. Before the order he had a month left. Max believes that you can live with the demobels of his call: “We didn’t send anyone to the“ samohod ”, and we didn’t put money on it. So, on a trifle ... “Trifle, as it turned out - two thousand rubles. Having strained, Max formulated several rules that will help in the army.

Wash, shave and have a haircut constantly. The erysipelas must be clean, the turnpipe must be fresh, the boots must be polished. If you have a core, and you are capable even in army conditions to keep yourself clean, this causes respect. Dirty chmyryat with tripled force.

Throw out of my head all education. The display of politeness and intelligence in the army is a sign of weakness. The polite intellectuals are hated with special force, and they are beaten with double malice. Muscovites are especially hostile.

Always fight like they want to kill you, use any objects at hand, say, a stool. Never show that you are afraid of someone. You see the inevitability of a fight - hit first without hesitation; you will be more respected and afraid. If you don’t do that, consider that you yourself are to blame for everything.

Fear of "good" grandfathers and elders: in the army, kindness is only imitated and is always preceded by some kind of trick. Be watchful.

Never beat the weak. To beat Chmyrey is the last thing, only to disgrace in front of others and not respect yourself.

Try to firmly hold on to reliable friends and resist all misfortunes together, harnessed in any trouble comrades.

If you eat something, always share a meal with loved ones. Never eat one secretly. Caught - you can hang yourself, this is the height of mesmerizing.

Less talk with the officers: they do not care about you. In no case should you be frank with them, much less complain, because in the eyes of your comrades you will fall into the informers forever.

Do not steal in the barracks. I took soap without asking for it - consider it, stole it. For ratking punished cruelly.

Study your duties thoroughly and know them by heart, better than any grandfather and officer. This dramatically reduces the number of reasons for which you can get to the bottom. First of all it concerns the statutes.

Avoid sending in sergeant school. Sergeants are appointed people who have served at least a year and enjoy unquestioned authority.

Do not try to hit colleagues. You can show yourself as a multi-faceted person in the second year, and before that try to be no worse than the others.
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