Military Review

Somewhere in a parallel universe ...

53
Somewhere in a parallel universe ...



The universe is huge. An innumerable set of stars, planets, asteroids and other things from a textbook on astronomy. And even more than that, what is not written in it: UFOs, reptilians, fair elections and low prices for utility services.

But today we are not talking about the peaceful life of our brothers from distant galaxies. Let's try to find out what is in our military field. Think it's impossible? You are mistaken!

In my research, I used the latest developments, techniques and devices: 3D microscope, shaman tambourine, Atari game console, Putin's hair strand, 7,62 mm cartridge, Chebarkul meteorite fragment, laser pointer, Obama's portrait, monitor and, of course, blue electrical tape. I used a fork as a symbol of parallelism: after all, she has four parallel teeth!

Having connected all these objects (not without the help of a soldering iron, plasticine and a kind word), I received a unique device, which I called OXYM 1.0. Turned on. Works.

I am going to find a planet as similar to our Earth as possible. Therefore, I used samples from our world. I start the search ... Approximate search time - 12 years 5 months 17 days 4 h 53 m 12 s.

I do not have so much time! I'll pay a third of the mortgage by this date! From the stifling anger, I kicked the device with my foot. On the screen, the inscription "Search is complete." It worked again! wink

What result will i get? Maybe part of the song? Fragment of the book? Video series? A piece of thought? But only this picture appeared on the monitor. My chest grew warmer, I leaned back in a chair and smiled.

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  1. bubalik
    bubalik April 2 2014 07: 50
    +45
    But only this picture appeared on the monitor. My chest warmed, I sat back in a chair and smiled.


    ,,, and I have such a ,,, lol
    1. Andrey Yuryevich
      Andrey Yuryevich April 2 2014 07: 52
      +17
      Quote: bubalik
      But only this picture appeared on the monitor. My chest warmed, I sat back in a chair and smiled.


      ,,, and I have such a ,,, lol
      when did you get brother? should be washed! laughing drinks
      1. bubalik
        bubalik April 2 2014 08: 00
        +12
        Andrey Yurievich (4) SU  Today, 07: 52

        ,,, dreams, dreams, but if you really want, the thought materializes, yes drinks
        1. maks-101
          maks-101 April 2 2014 08: 22
          +5
          Obamka medal should be given as the main sucker of the world, the United States invested more than 5 billion dollars so we took the Crimea.
        2. Arberes
          Arberes April 2 2014 08: 50
          +3
          Quote: bubalik
          ,,, and I have such a ,,,

          Can we start with Alaska?

          Quote: bubalik
          , dreams, dreams, but if you really want to, the thought materializes,

          Something tells me that this will be our last dream?
          You plus for your exuberant imagination! drinks
          1. bubalik
            bubalik April 2 2014 08: 59
            +8
            Arberes SU  Today, 08: 50 ↑


            ,,, but it’s clear to everyone that the main thing we are laying out here: our artworks, comments (with a few exceptions of really useful information from some forum participants), are at least capricious moods and do not combine radically with reality ,,,, hi

            ,,, sorry dear forum users if anyone accepted my words as offensive to you ,,, hi
            1. zao74
              zao74 April 2 2014 15: 08
              +1
              We express our dreams, aspirations, desires. In one we are alike. Everyone wants to live in a country that is strong and respected in the world community, and not in the raw materials appendage of geyropa and America. Well, I would like to return the fellow-land collected by our ancestors.
          2. The comment was deleted.
          3. Amur
            Amur April 2 2014 09: 28
            +1
            Let's start with Donbas and Kharkov!
      2. The comment was deleted.
      3. Arberes
        Arberes April 2 2014 08: 56
        +1
        Quote: Andrey Yurievich
        when did you get brother?

        I'm afraid they’ll only be awarded posthumously! hi
        Quote: Andrey Yurievich
        should be washed

        See you at the morgue? drinks
        1. SHILO
          SHILO April 2 2014 09: 04
          +13
          Weird! I didn’t guess. But starting to read and looking at the picture for the article, I thought that it would end with Darth Vader on the Ukrainian throne, clone units and GDP in the form of a Jedi. wassat
          1. GROM
            April 2 2014 10: 51
            +1
            About it in our next show ... bully
    2. klimpopov
      klimpopov April 2 2014 08: 20
      +2
      it’s not about the peaceful life of our brothers from distant galaxies.

      Are they brothers to us? Earth for earthlings !!!))))
    3. Horst78
      Horst78 April 2 2014 08: 38
      +3
      I want the same. laughing
      1. polly
        polly April 2 2014 13: 14
        +5
        Take a similar one, don't be naughty ... laughing
    4. TAMERLAN 7
      TAMERLAN 7 April 2 2014 10: 11
      +2
      Quote: bubalik
      But only this picture appeared on the monitor. My chest warmed, I sat back in a chair and smiled.


      ,,, and I have such a ,,,

      People, you would return to the old woman, and then, while you fly there in parallel worlds, our enemies build up strength !!! Stop flying in your dreams, it's time to do business! soldier
    5. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 50
      +1
      It was made on the same machine as for Alaska :)
  2. Cossacks
    Cossacks April 2 2014 07: 54
    +7
    I understood everything except one, where you got a lock of Putin’s hair.
    1. Nayhas
      Nayhas April 2 2014 07: 58
      +6
      Quote: Cossacks
      I understood everything except one, where you got a lock of Putin’s hair.

      In-in! And from what part of the body is this strand? Not from the ass for sure, there they lick so much that there probably is nothing left ....
      1. Ivan Petrovich
        Ivan Petrovich April 2 2014 08: 43
        -1
        and the concentration of aliens living in the VO and dreaming of licking the gdp rolls rolls over
    2. Alexander Romanov
      Alexander Romanov April 2 2014 08: 01
      +6
      Quote: Cossacks
      I understood everything except one, where you got a lock of Putin’s hair.

      Do not you understand? The article was written by Putin's personal hairdresser. Work is not dusty, there is not much work, on the invention of time by the shaft laughing
    3. mojohed2012
      mojohed2012 April 2 2014 08: 07
      +2
      There are many options. You can go to his hairdresser and buy your hair, you can advertise on the Internet, you can negotiate with Peskov to cut off when he turns away.
      Seriously, the article is a hint.
      The euphoria from the Crimea is euphoric, but many of my acquaintances think "unhealthily" in such a way as to add to Russia.
      And I thought too. There Finland or Alaska, or Cuba is possible, it is possible and Serbia.
      In short, unhealthy thoughts go in the minds of Russian patriots. And it is strange that it seems to be not Russian, but Ramzan Kadyrov is also thinking about that.
      1. schizophrenic
        schizophrenic April 2 2014 08: 44
        +1
        laughing Over the appliance neighing ha-ha-ha laughing
      2. baltika-18
        baltika-18 April 2 2014 09: 02
        +4
        Quote: mojohed2012
        And I thought too. There Finland or Alaska, or Cuba is possible, it is possible and Serbia.
        In short, unhealthy thoughts go in the minds of Russian patriots. And it is strange that it seems to be not Russian, but Ramzan Kadyrov is also thinking about that.
        The air is not stable, it is raging, therefore, and idiocy goes off scale.
        1. Ivan Petrovich
          Ivan Petrovich April 2 2014 09: 44
          +1
          You must always see the difference between patriots and po.
    4. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 38
      -4
      It’s clear where, Alinka Kabaeva borrowed;)
  3. evgenii67
    evgenii67 April 2 2014 07: 57
    +5
    Article + smiled and mood improved in the morning! Dear author, you need a patent for an invention hi
    1. major071
      major071 April 2 2014 09: 58
      +11
      Respect to the author, but I had to call me yesterday too. In my state yesterday, we would be TWO! would create an improved device (there is a SEGA, a silver spoon, two elastic bands from the leggings of different colors (very important!), black electrical tape and PASSATIZI!). And then already where the curve will lead! laughing
      1. GROM
        April 2 2014 10: 34
        +2
        I'll call you next time soldier
        People with experience we need wink
      2. Arberes
        Arberes April 2 2014 11: 47
        +4
        Quote: major071
        but it was necessary to call me yesterday. In my state yesterday

        Yes, and today is not too late! I will support you my friend! drinks

        The device with bellows!

        Two elastic bands from leggings
        Yes, and a condom!
        The miracle of technology in kind
        This is super positive!

        Pliers without handle
        I will fasten everything to the button accordion
        Oh, part the fur accordion
        I’ll swallow two hundred grams!

        On silver, on spoons
        To the beat, I tap
        I tape the tape
        And I’ll turn it on completely!

        Hello BROTHER-POET! drinks
    2. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 40
      +3
      Quote: evgenii67
      smiled and mood improved in the morning!

      So it was not in vain that I wrote :)
  4. Evkur
    Evkur April 2 2014 07: 57
    +2
    Drop the link to reliable news on Syria, what’s going on there? THX
    1. The comment was deleted.
    2. bubalik
      bubalik April 2 2014 08: 02
      +2
      Evkur SU  Today, 07: 57
      Drop the link to reliable news on Syria, what’s going on there? THX


      catch ,,,

      http://anna-news.info/node/14621
    3. The comment was deleted.
    4. mojohed2012
      mojohed2012 April 2 2014 08: 10
      +9
      There probably is no such link with generalized information, but in short, Assad’s army hits bandits and US-Arabian mercenaries in the tail and mane. Yesterday about 1000 militants put a mock. The Turks fired guns around Syria, but remained silent for a while, there the Germans and the Jews assailed them, saying that they should not go to Assad, otherwise Uncle Sam had not yet allowed and did not give the command.
  5. Nayhas
    Nayhas April 2 2014 08: 02
    +1
    and, of course, the blue electrical tape.

    No way without it. But where did you get it, I was looking for it somehow, it turned out there was no Russian electrical tape, only a Chinese Mr.!
    1. bubalik
      bubalik April 2 2014 08: 06
      +2
      Nayhas (3) RU  Today, 08: 02
      No way without it. But where did you get it, I was looking for it somehow, it turned out there was no Russian electrical tape, only a Chinese Mr.!


      ,,, in Sterlitamak they produce, through our transport company they often carry ,,,
      1. Nayhas
        Nayhas April 2 2014 08: 10
        +2
        Quote: bubalik
        in Sterlitamak they produce, through our transport company they often carry ,,,

        But I didn’t find it in Novosib ... I had to buy a Chinese one, it is tough and glues badly ...
    2. The comment was deleted.
    3. Horst78
      Horst78 April 2 2014 08: 42
      +1
      Quote: Nayhas
      no Russian electrical tape

      So I can not find sad
      Quote: Nayhas
      only chinese mr!

      I do not know. At our place of work, the Chinese is pretty good, it suits the men. Although no one checked at 5000V laughing
    4. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 41
      +1
      I inherited from my grandfather, the last roll pulled out :(
    5. woron333444
      woron333444 April 2 2014 10: 41
      +1
      chinese is better
  6. lewerlin53rus
    lewerlin53rus April 2 2014 08: 02
    +3
    Article by nothing .. request Why such empty publications?
    1. Horst78
      Horst78 April 2 2014 08: 43
      +3
      Quote: lewerlin53rus
      Why such empty publications?

      Laugh in the morning, in general, for the mood.
    2. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 41
      0
      Actually you already answered :)
  7. Denis 60 rus
    Denis 60 rus April 2 2014 08: 03
    +3
    the author, go outside, take a walk around Russia (especially in the countryside) and find out that some live in a parallel universe, either a province or Moscow, someone like ...
    1. Ivan Petrovich
      Ivan Petrovich April 2 2014 08: 29
      +6
      beyond the Moscow Ring Road there is no life :) persuasion of the Muscovites. When they hear that other inhabitants of the planet of the Russian Federation live on a salary of 7-8 thousand, they make such eyes ...
    2. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 43
      -1
      Well, no, but how can a bear lift me up there, or will the deputy cortege knock me down? I'd rather look in OKOY tongue
  8. Name
    Name April 2 2014 08: 03
    +1
    This is probably from the pre-election speech from Yulia, that is, "the princess of the gas": Ukraine is the spiritual center of Europe, it is here that the leading intellectuals of the world will soon come together to create a new model of world social structure. Ukraine will become a platform for creating an updated image of humanity, fairer and more free than ever in history. In the near future, all European peoples who are unhappy with something in their own country will adopt the Ukrainian experience in creating effective socio-political systems. Here, in Ukraine, the start of the New Civilization will be given, which will lead all the nations of the world. Immediately after the presidential election, the rebirth of domestic pedagogy will begin, which will have to create a New Man within ten years, who will be physically unable to tolerate corruption and injustice. belay belay wassat - No Comments
    see.http: //rian.com.ua/analytics/20140330/342411736.html
    1. Rostovchanin
      Rostovchanin April 2 2014 08: 30
      +1
      for ten years create New Man who will be physically unable to tolerate corruption and injustice.


      he wants to create an Aryan campaign!
  9. Keeper
    Keeper April 2 2014 08: 04
    0
    But can it still make our rubles backed up with Russian gold and let the whole world wash ?!
  10. Colorman
    Colorman April 2 2014 08: 10
    0
    Sorry that is not the topic.
    Who in the know write an article about the food security of Crimea, otherwise the isthmus is closed.
    How to solve a problem?
  11. waisson
    waisson April 2 2014 08: 14
    +5
    and before that there was a conversation
  12. polite people
    polite people April 2 2014 08: 15
    +14
    And the medal for the return of the Crimea has already found its first heroes.
  13. johnsnz
    johnsnz April 2 2014 08: 23
    +11
    And I only have methods on the screen laughing
  14. Triton
    Triton April 2 2014 08: 27
    +1
    Quote: Alexander Romanov
    Quote: Cossacks
    I understood everything except one, where you got a lock of Putin’s hair.

    Do not you understand? The article was written by Putin's personal hairdresser. Work is not dusty, there is not much work, on the invention of time by the shaft laughing


    I think Putin’s personal hairdresser does not pay a mortgage wassat
    1. Partizan
      Partizan April 2 2014 08: 57
      0
      this is a mortgage for a ruble estate laughing
    2. The comment was deleted.
  15. goody
    goody April 2 2014 08: 28
    +2
    "This is probably from the election speech from Yulia, that is," the princess of the gas ": Ukraine is the spiritual center of Europe" op-pa, this is YES ... to say that they are all stubborn there, to say nothing
  16. mamont5
    mamont5 April 2 2014 08: 31
    +2
    "Having connected all these objects (not without the help of a soldering iron, plasticine and a kind word), I got a unique device, which I called OKOYO 1.0. Included. It works."
    The circuit diagram, please. smile
    1. Partizan
      Partizan April 2 2014 08: 59
      0
      Why is that? First, the author needs to apply for the invention, get a patent, and then ... there are cunning peppers ...
    2. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 45
      0
      Quote: mamont5
      The circuit diagram, please.

      I already sold it to the Chinese, next week it should appear on OZONE :)
  17. Uncle lee
    Uncle lee April 2 2014 08: 31
    +9
    Well ... At least a little humor rolled in all publications! So not everything is so gloomy! Respect to all and respect! hi drinks
  18. SILAnov
    SILAnov April 2 2014 08: 32
    0
    In every joke, there is a joke share!
    Now, if VashiksNATO is still a little "tense", then this is a very real scenario!
  19. ed65b
    ed65b April 2 2014 08: 49
    +2
    Where did you get the meteorite piece ??? By a lock of hair Putin has already been explained. laughing
    1. bubalik
      bubalik April 2 2014 09: 03
      +2
      ed65b (5) SU  Today, 08: 49
      Where did you get the meteorite piece ???


      ,,, half of the Chelyabinsk region is strewn ,,, lol
    2. The comment was deleted.
    3. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 46
      0
      Quote: ed65b
      Where did you get the meteorite piece ???

      And they already answered you :)
  20. yar68
    yar68 April 2 2014 09: 14
    +1
    Author, what did you smoke?
    1. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 47
      0
      Petrosyanovka smoked. From her always such an effect repeat
  21. borisjdin1957
    borisjdin1957 April 2 2014 09: 28
    +7
    from the Don.
    He smiled! But we must not forget about the heroes who carry out their activities at this crazy time! laughing
    1. waisson
      waisson April 2 2014 09: 39
      +7
      I can not do otherwise
      1. The comment was deleted.
      2. Straus_zloy
        Straus_zloy April 2 2014 11: 15
        +4
        something like this:
  22. Hort
    Hort April 2 2014 09: 35
    +2
    what did Tsiolkovsky say there ?: "You can't live in a cradle forever." Space must be mastered, but it must be done together — the whole planet. And therefore it is necessary to attach, uh-uh, different parts of the Earth to Russia. Whoever doesn't want to kick into orbit laughing
  23. delfinN
    delfinN April 2 2014 09: 41
    +12
    Reptilians have no place on the planet EARTH
    1. TAMERLAN 7
      TAMERLAN 7 April 2 2014 10: 18
      +3
      It’s time for the United States to disconnect from the planet Earth — parasites must be disposed of! good
  24. siberalt
    siberalt April 2 2014 10: 13
    +1
    The author has a good picture. "Shrimp in the ocean of the universe" laughing Exactly on the topic.
    1. GROM
      April 2 2014 10: 48
      0
      Super laughing It was necessary to call the topic))
  25. Giant thought
    Giant thought April 2 2014 11: 09
    +1
    Dreaming is not bad, but sometimes dreams come true, so my first toast: For the sale of dreams!
  26. fregina1
    fregina1 April 2 2014 14: 00
    +1
    I am waiting for the victory of Darth Vader! I represent this inauguration! Fight of the right sector with the Jedi, dispersal of the Maidan using lightsabers! New Rada in the form of a death star in the center of Kiev! In general, the peak of moronity, schizophrenia and delirium tremens!
    Brothers, stop eating the fat of pigs that grazed on hemp field!
  27. ipshum
    ipshum April 2 2014 18: 48
    +2
    The inhabitants of the moon promise to provide political asylum to the population of the United States, EU and Japan, fleeing from the insidious Putin. Enough space for everyone. One condition - do not take air with you!