Military Review

Ukraine: back in USSR

193
Ukraine: back in USSR



NSDC Secretary Andrei Paruby delivered an emergency message. It turns out that just a couple of minutes ago, a quality plan appeared in the NSDC. As it turned out later, the Crimean. The Security Council, according to Parubiy, has completely accurate information: those who are now operating in autonomy, either extremists or special forces of the Russian Navy. A very logical statement, as for me. But! That's not all. Russian helicopters freely invaded the sovereign space of Ukraine, as there is an entry in the State Border Service's registration log: “An unknown helicopter helicopter nastryly invaded the eter of Ukraine. Requests are mounted with a helicopter under the hood of the editor (sexual) a link in a sposib sposib ". (perverted way)

However, the situation is under the control of the rate of the Supreme High Command. The option of introducing a state of emergency in Crimea under the personal command of Alexander Turchinov is being considered. The Field Marshal recently familiarized himself with the plan proposed to him at the NSDC, and found it very, very non-bad, albeit rather sturdy. However, there is no way out because the nation is in danger. Therefore the submarine of the Black Sea fleet Ukraine "Zaporozhye" is in full alert. Firstly, Ensign Malyatko, who is the best specialist in charging a single submarine battery, came out of the wilderness. Secondly, a cord was found which, if there is an appropriate order certified by a bet, can even be thrust somewhere. It is possible that the outlet. And, thirdly, the commander of the boat personally assured the Esemian commander-in-chief Turchinov that within a radius of one hundred meters (exactly the length of the cord), the submarine is capable of fulfilling the tasks of strategic command.

Andriy Paruby also exposed the insidious, extremely vile and cynical plans of the Russian special services to repeat the Crimean scenario in several regions of Ukraine. According to him, these scenarios have been stopped. Moreover, in the city of Bardichev, a reconnaissance and sabotage group of the GRU General Staff, consisting of five people, was detained and tried to mislead the local community about the plans of the Arseny government to stabilize the shekel. Russian special forces showed desperate resistance, cursing foul language, but was neutralized by the fighters of the people's self-defense.

The state of emergency plan provides for the landing of airborne troops in Simferopol, if passing vehicles are found. All the troops expressed their readiness to go to the Crimea, since the fate of Ukraine is being decided there and it is warm there. Helicopters of foreign countries are strictly ordered to sit down. Intelligence agencies are working in an enhanced mode and are actively combing the Internet in search of an agent network of a potential enemy. In the meantime, everything is in order: all the airports in Crimea are controlled by the law enforcement agencies of Ukraine. True, they are controlled by unknown people with machine guns, having previously disarmed the employees who control them. Therefore, the situation remains calm, but Avakov and Turchinov will not go there. They are afraid of provocations.

In order to finally reassure the public, Paruby promised to describe everything in detail in his blog at UE, since not everyone has learned to understand him correctly. Some speech defects do not allow the secretary of the NSDC to achieve one hundred percent understanding.

In this difficult time there are two benchmarks: the Crimea and the dollar. The rest is not decisive. It makes no sense to discuss the composition of the “interim government”, the actions of Speaker-President Oleksandr Turchynov, the composition of the “democratic coalition” in the Verkhovna Rada and other topics that are traditional for peacetime. We quickly returned to the nineties of the last century, with all the characteristic signs of that fun time. And nothing new will happen. Only more, let us say, severe forms of processes are possible. Let's start from the peninsula - the situation there has taken quite understandable forms, and there is already enough reliable information for analysis.

You all have seen enough of the “zomboyaschik” and you know that the Crimean rebels completely took control of the parliament and the government of autonomy. Today (February 28) acting Minister of the Interior Arsen Avakov could not get to Simferopol, since about 150 about well-armed people with not good-natured persons were waiting for him at the airport. The airport itself is operating normally. Simply, the VIP terminal was under the gun, and therefore, the board on which Avakov was located, according to some data, immediately turned back, and on the other, he landed to refuel. We read Arsen’s Facebook page: “This is an occupation! Armed occupation! ” The board with the head of the Security Service of Ukraine Valentin Nalyvaychenko (representing "UDAR" Vitaly Klitschko) tried to land at the military airfield "Belbek". But it did not land, as it was also blocked by armed men. And on the BTR-80. Unfortunately, the record of Nalyvaychenko's impressions of what he saw on Facebook is missing. And Twitter is somehow silent. Pechalka. And on the Perekop isthmus connecting the peninsula with Ukraine, soldiers of the special forces "Berkut" are on duty. Five buses. There is an RPG. There is no official confirmation of this information, since Arsen ordered the liquidation of the Berkut and reported on this in his blog at UE. However, there are Berkutovs, and this somehow does not fit the strategy of Kiev’s rapid European breakthrough to the shining heights of world civilization.

If we talk in general about the situation on the peninsula, then in 24 hours there was a quick and bloodless change of power. On the night of February 27, the very same “Golden Eagle” in a few minutes, without meeting absolutely no resistance, entered the buildings of the autonomy parliament and the Council of Ministers. It was so unexpected that no one understood what had happened. Honestly, I fell for the information about the seizure of administrative buildings of the Crimea "Right Sector."

There was no point in seizing parliament, since everyone was there and so ready. But they decided to act quickly and, most importantly, revealingly. In just a few hours, the deputies of the Crimean parliament dismissed Mogilyov, who was hoping for the favor of Kiev, and instead appointed him the leader of the Russian Unity party, Sergey Aksenov (“for” 53 deputy). The next decision of the Supreme Council of the autonomy: the holding of a "republican referendum on improving the status and powers of the Republic of Crimea." Residents of the Republic are invited to answer only one question: “Should Crimea have state independence and be part of Ukraine on the basis of treaties and agreements or not?”. Guess three times what the answer might be. By a strange coincidence, it is planned to hold a referendum on May 25, on the same day as the presidential election.

The next fundamental point: the speaker of the Supreme Council of Crimea, Vladimir Konstantinov, and the new prime minister, Sergey Aksyonov, consider Viktor Yanukovich as the current president of Ukraine. From this point on, you need a little more detail. The last time Yanukovych appeared on 22 February screens and said he did not recognize the new government. Then he disappeared. Yesterday, February 27, Yanukovych’s notorious decree appeared in which he declared Sevastopol the headquarters of the Commander-in-Chief (not Turchinov), ordered all security forces to come to him and declared the existing power of the putsch. However, there is no confirmation of the reality of this decree. But the official statement of Viktor Yanukovych, the main content of which is reduced to the text of the decree. However, without direct instructions about the use weapons junior commanders against higher. In the morning, February 28 (sorry for having paid so much attention to dates, this is a bitch, it’s important), Euronews broadcasted: Yanukovich’s plane landed at a military airport in Rostov-on-Don accompanied by two military fighters. His press conference is scheduled. The place and time of its holding are not specified for security reasons. There is no list of invited media either.

In principle, it is not difficult to guess what Yanukovych will be talking about. If, of course, will be. "An anti-constitutional coup took place in the country, the new government is illegitimate, we must take an example from the Crimea, the south-east of Ukraine must have its say." I think it should have been done yesterday, but Victor Fedorovich, as always, got rid of him. I have no illusions about Yanukovych. He did not even set fire to his fucking Mezhigorye.
In the modern play he is assigned a purely symbolic role. Russians have a president of Ukraine, the legitimacy of whose elimination can be challenged in international instances: judicial and diplomatic. Unless, of course, it comes to this. And there is a chance for the realization of the Crimean scenario in the eastern regions of Ukraine. I sincerely sympathize with the Russians, who have to work with him. A dumb customer is even hard to imagine. No, I'm lying. There is also Acne.

Crimea today is an exemplary version of the mirror version of events in the capital. There, the people on Independence rebelled against the gang - here the people rebelled against the illegitimate government. They captured the parliament and the government - admin office was captured here. In the Kiev events, the main role was played by the USA and the EU - Russia plays the solo part in the Crimea. And in order for the State Department to understand the seriousness of intentions, indicative, that is, very unexpected military maneuvers with an emphasis on parts of rapid deployment were carried out. Well, on the Plesetsk cosmodrome, just in case, with an interval of three minutes, two peaceful, that is, extremely strategic missiles that hit targets on Kamchatka after fifteen years in the mine, were launched. Near the US ships, plying in the Black Sea, there was some kind of incomprehensible submarine. What she does there is also unknown. But, bitch, stubbornly keeps close.

Of course, the events in Crimea are "a challenge for the new government." Well, so says speaker-president Alexander Turchinov. Or the president-speaker. The Verkhovna Rada appealed to the UN with a request to convene an urgent meeting on the Crimean problem. Turchinov with Parubiy will gather in the National Security and Defense Council to discuss the same problem. The situation is really difficult. If Lugansk, Donetsk, Dnepropetrovsk and other eastern regions of Ukraine 25 may (or earlier) hold referendums, then why hold presidential elections?

That is why it is important to follow the events in Crimea. Today they determine the likely course of events in Ukraine. And the dollar rate is the "speedometer" of the process. The lower the hryvnia falls, the faster the political and economic processes go. Tested in the nineties. Guarantee. So far, there is a steady downward trend. Usually it happens like this: the commandant of the NBU Kubiv declares that there are no grounds for the devaluation of the hryvnia, and ten minutes later the hryvnia is rapidly taking new and new heights in the form historical minimums. Moreover, the National Bank does nothing to support the exchange rate, since they “save every dollar” there from the reserves. Today, February 28, money changers are already trading at 12 with might and main. I remember that prominent opposition economists predicted a default for Ukraine at the rate of 10. Well, this is so, by the way. To extinguish the panic, the commandant of the NBU, whom the bankers affectionately call "the ragulator", ordered "temporarily" to impose restrictions on access to foreign currency deposits. In other words, he froze the funds of the population and enterprises. I need to explain to you what this will lead to? Towards the heyday of the black market in the spirit of the nineties. And finally, a little information about Crimea: aged, but still vigorous Zhirinovsky flies to Sevastopol. He will play the role of Victoria Nuland on the Maidan, only in the hard version. And the detachment of the sea guard of the State Border Service in Balaklava was surrounded by unknown persons. For the purpose of protection. Well, you never know ... What if?
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  1. Ari100kraT
    Ari100kraT 1 March 2014 11: 37
    +37
    Thank you for the article with a good share of healthy humor. good
    I'm wondering, but in this thread there will be a member of the forum, communicating exclusively with slogans and recognizing only the march "Farewell of the Slav" from the music? wassat
    1. Anper
      Anper 1 March 2014 12: 03
      +27
      Quote: Ari100krat
      with a good share of healthy humor

      However, Mr. Parubiy, as the person who owns all the information, absolutely officially (and not on Twitter) stated that in Crimea invaders who did not make contact speak Russian accents. He just did not specify what language they speak. And Inter's correspondent in all seriousness dismantled the special forces boots live, finding that they are all different. And he said that m. both in the Russian and Ukrainian armies - that's why they are Russians. Where is the place for healthy humor in the current new democratic Ukrainian life?
      1. older
        older 1 March 2014 12: 13
        +22
        laughing I looked at sack berets ... I think this is the logic. Correspondents need to conclude that the Germans captured Siberia ... The Berets are Bundesov’s))))) moreover, a cap with a German flag and sleeves too ...
        Damn ... It turns out I captured Siberia fellow It seems to be Russian, but the clothes are alien ... Robbed ... I am Russian ... I did not catch, I am the current for our ... laughing
        1. Ari100kraT
          Ari100kraT 1 March 2014 12: 37
          +20
          Quote: older
          .I am Russian ... I did not catch, I am the current for our ...

          Late, slept wassat Again, we (the old generation) grew up on the film "The Exploit of the Scout" and you can't deceive us with words for ours laughing


          On some forums, Yatsenyuk's name is Egg Scent wassat Hence anek:
          After the suppression of the Maidan and restoring order of leaders placed in the cells. A new sitter enters the chamber and a godfather asks:
          - Who is this?
          - Yaytsenyuh.
          - You’ll do it all in the evening, and I ask why I got ... laughing
        2. Kunar
          Kunar 1 March 2014 17: 54
          +6
          Opposition leaders, who had been on duty at the door all this time, still met with Yanukovych. But this did not affect the results of the voting: 232 votes in favor. A bill from the Party of Regions has been adopted. Those who have committed especially grave crimes do not fall under the amnesty.
          "We have not read the law yet. We will read it, consult with people and be sure to say it. We did not vote for the law, because we think it is wrong," Arseniy Yatsenyuk, head of the Batkivshchyna faction in the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine, told reporters.
          It turns out that they have not yet read, but already against. Although the working group on resolving the political crisis assured that the option of amnesty was agreed with the opposition, and they knew that in response to the authorities' consent to release the detained rioters, they would have to release the captured administrations. The consequences of such a seizure today were raked by communal workers from the agrarian ministry all day.
          "This is the Maidan, this is justice, this is so that the people live well. But not in the same way: smash, break, destroy everything! When people do it with their own hands, they will not be so filthy. I tell you this for sure," said an employee of the communal services of Kiev Sergey Strizh.
          Huge garbage bags, broken railings, broken glass, back door barricades. This is what the fighters of the Spilna Right radical group left behind. Who can stand behind it, today it turned out by chance. The Internet got a text message between the coordinator of the radical association Danilyuk and the second secretary of the American embassy Timothy Pergalski.
          "Hello, Alexander! Thanks again for meeting with us yesterday. I heard that someone from the opposition was trying to get you to release the Ministry of Justice. Is there any truth in these rumors? Make sure the building is well protected. Are there enough barricades? I don't have access to this phone in my office, but I will check it periodically. And call my landline phone 380 44-521-5232 (US Embassy) freely. Thank you, Tim. "
          The Ministry of Justice was released, by the way, also after a call from the US diplomatic mission. Then the Ukrainian Ministry of Internal Affairs even expressed gratitude to the American ambassador for mediation. And the whole day that there was a meeting in the Rada, foreign diplomats did not take their eyes off the deputies, from time to time even going down from the box to the sidelines.
          "The presence of almost the full complement of the US diplomatic mission, this is already beyond any scope. This is completely Cerberus control over what is happening in Ukraine, and the statements that have constantly sounded from the mouths of senators, congressmen and leaders of other states are unacceptable interference. in internal affairs ", - protested the head of the Communist Party faction in the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine Petro Symonenko.
          European diplomacy is no longer masked. EU High Representative Catherine Ashton held a briefing in Kiev, at which Russian journalists were not allowed to attend. The rest were strictly forbidden to share any information with their colleagues. Although there was nothing in the words of the Baroness that would be secret behind seven seals - foreign intermediaries have never condemned the attempted coup.

          Question? Why don't the "winners" take off their masks? are afraid in hohlyatski ....?
          1. Stanislas
            Stanislas 1 March 2014 20: 52
            +3
            Quote: Kunar
            When people do with their own hands, they will not be so mean.
            They speak on behalf of the people of Ukraine, but they don’t think that the government building that they seized should now serve the people. If they thought so, then they wouldn’t lie in the offices. Naturally banderlog.
          2. pawel1961
            pawel1961 1 March 2014 23: 24
            0
            much written preferably shorter, and so everything is clear
          3. tank64rus
            tank64rus 2 March 2014 10: 15
            0
            I was also interested in this issue, and then I realized that they are sick and are spreading their infection throughout the country.
          4. tank64rus
            tank64rus 2 March 2014 10: 15
            0
            I was also interested in this issue, and then I realized that they are sick and are spreading their infection throughout the country.
        3. pawel1961
          pawel1961 1 March 2014 23: 22
          0
          learn to hit the buttons !!!
      2. Gronsky
        Gronsky 1 March 2014 15: 04
        +7
        Quote: Anper
        speak Russian accent.

        This newfangled definition just cuts without a knife. wassat
        So here we are, in nenka we speak pure Russian, and even with an accent.
        In bl.I pi..etz! However, joyful, the further, the dumber the plans of the "friends". It plays into our hands.
      3. Kunar
        Kunar 1 March 2014 17: 53
        +1
        With shields against the background of the portrait of the idol of Ukrainian nationalists, Bandera, camouflaged young men with all their appearance make it clear: the law adopted in the Rada - an amnesty in exchange for the release of administrative buildings, was not written to them.
        “We have discipline, we do not slip into anarchy, and unlike Spilnaya Sprava, it is not capture for the sake of capture and not a fight for the sake of battle. There are clear requirements for power, agreed with the Maidan council,” explains the commandant of the Kyiv City Council building Ruslan Andriyko.
        A poster behind the commandant of the captured Kyiv City Council - "The city belongs to the nationalists." The guards at the entrance do not let go of the clubs.
        In the same way now all approaches to the Ukrainian house look. The exhibition center, which the radicals have chosen as the next overnight stay and heating point, and minus 25 on the street, the same amnesty law allows them, however, to reserve it. And at the same time, the House of Trade Unions, and Maidan itself.
        Discussion of the law providing for exemption from liability of rioters continued in the Rada until late at night.
        The deputies either broke up into small groups or went to consultations. When it became clear that the negotiations had reached an impasse, because the opposition demanded that the authorities give amnesty to everyone without exception, and without any counter conditions - both those who threw Molotov cocktails at the police and those who beat Berkut with rebar - to parliament the president arrived.
        In the morning, the press service of the President of Ukraine announced that Viktor Yanukovych had gone on sick leave. ARVI. Although at midnight, judging by individual words, that they had flown behind closed doors, the president strongly recommended voting for the option proposed by the authorities as the only one that could resolve the political crisis.
        "If there were no law, escalation would have continued. This law allows the situation to be resolved peacefully. And this is already positive," said Yuriy Miroshnichenko, representative of the President of Ukraine in the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine.
    2. Vadim-Skeptic
      Vadim-Skeptic 1 March 2014 12: 34
      +9
      Lightning! (probably from the electrical substation)
      The other day, unknown armed people in camouflage quickly and GENTLY entered Ukraine from the Crimea.
      1. 120352
        120352 1 March 2014 13: 31
        +3
        And then what happened? Have you rested?
        1. pawel1961
          pawel1961 1 March 2014 23: 28
          0
          why ask such a question ???
      2. pawel1961
        pawel1961 1 March 2014 23: 27
        0
        friend yes you all slept
    3. mnbv199
      mnbv199 1 March 2014 13: 37
      +12
      SIMFEROPOL, Mar 1 - RIA News. A referendum on the status of autonomy will be held in Crimea on March 30, said Chairman of the Council of Ministers of the Autonomous Republic Sergey Aksenov.

      “Due to the need, we decided to speed up the referendum on the status of the Autonomous Republic of Crimea. The referendum is scheduled for March 30,” Aksenov said during the first meeting of the Crimean Council of Ministers in the new composition.

      http://m.ria.ru/world/20140301/997663501.html
      1. jjj
        jjj 1 March 2014 13: 45
        +19
        Quote: mnbv199
        The referendum on the status of autonomy will be held in Crimea 30 March

        That's right, on May 9 in Kiev it is necessary to hold a parade in honor of Victory Day
        1. blizart
          blizart 1 March 2014 20: 59
          0
          Fresh thought, but do you believe it yourself? Will pass? I ask you with heartache (with a Georgian accent)
        2. pawel1961
          pawel1961 1 March 2014 23: 33
          0
          listen to the general. and you’re a fool or pretending to be.
      2. pawel1961
        pawel1961 1 March 2014 23: 31
        0
        events when you need to accelerate. necessary, we will slow down. and if necessary, we can move the terms.
    4. ele1285
      ele1285 1 March 2014 13: 45
      0
      Quote: Ari100krat
      I’m wondering, but a forum member will appear in this thread, communicating exclusively with slogans

      I don’t promise slogans, but here is the opinion of “the well-known political expert Yuri Romanenko.” I will not quote in full, just excerpts.
      Today in Crimea, some citizens overexcited by the propaganda of Channel One will try to play separatism. I’ll try to give rational answers to the important question - what should we do with Sevastopol and offer Russia to pick it up under certain conditions:

      a) Gas discount for 50% for 25 years
      b) Fixing the territorial integrity of Ukraine, including Crimea, with the participation of the USA, EU, China, which act as guarantors of the transaction.
      c) Economic preferences for Ukrainian goods. The ban on blocking their access for 5 years.
      Two-way strategy: Option A
      In the meantime, the Kremlin considers the price of the issue and begins to grunt quietly.
      The topic will easily go to world media. Moreover, we will buy Western media (this finished me off). Finally, a call comes from the Kremlin and an insinuating voice asks: Are you serious? Or do you troll us so cruelly? * We are reporting that we are ready to hold a referendum in Sevastopol and ensure its implementation. On the terms that are indicated at the very beginning. If you are ready to go for them, then we conclude secret protocols that fix the focus of the process.
      “And at x * do I pay us hundreds of yards ?,” they ask from the Kremlin.
      “We would pay more for Russian glory,” we answer.
      “So what do you want?” - the Kremlin asks.
      - So you take it or not? - we answer.
      “No, we don’t need such trouble, we have already built one in Novorossiysk,” the Kremlin says.
      “Then put out your clowns before we started to put out them.” And let's live in peace. Option B. Russia agrees. We are dropping loot from Russia. We bring down loot from the West for the elimination of the consequences. We pump resources into the Crimea. We make it a developed region and a European health resort, a Chinese breadbasket, a global hub and an industrial park. The standard of living is growing. disappear. Everyone is happy.
      But the most - it’s Russia to blame for hitting us this Crimea.
      1. Danafxnumx
        Danafxnumx 1 March 2014 15: 27
        +9
        Quote: ele1285
        here is the opinion of "the well-known political expert Yuri Romanenko." I will not quote in full, just extracts.

        interesting ... they have direct deliveries from afghan or is it colombian?
      2. Semen Semyonitch
        Semen Semyonitch 1 March 2014 15: 30
        +5
        Quote: ele1285
        “And at x * do I pay us hundreds of yards ?,” they ask from the Kremlin.
        “We would pay more for Russian glory,” we answer.
        “So what do you want?” - the Kremlin asks.
        - So you take it or not? - we answer.
        “No, we don’t need such trouble, we have already built one in Novorossiysk,” the Kremlin says.
        “Then put out your clowns before we started to put out them.” And let's live together.
        .....

        **************

        What was that? wassat
      3. Evgen_Vasilich
        Evgen_Vasilich 1 March 2014 20: 44
        0
        Have you accidentally starred in cartoons? and O. Bender didn’t tell you about certain keys? smoking cannabis is not always beneficial, even your guru B.Kh. Anabama says ...
    5. ed65b
      ed65b 1 March 2014 14: 14
      +1
      Quote: Ari100krat
      Thank you for the article with a good share of healthy humor. good
      I'm wondering, but in this thread there will be a member of the forum, communicating exclusively with slogans and recognizing only the march "Farewell of the Slav" from the music? wassat

      Who is this? We have speakers but without a Slav march. laughing
      1. Ari100kraT
        Ari100kraT 1 March 2014 21: 29
        0
        Quote: ed65b
        Who is this? We have speakers but without a Slav march.

        Go through the comments of a certain MIKHAN (Marshal) slogans and bitterness that "Farewell to the Slav" does not play in Ukraine. Apparently a fan of the movie "72 meters". The fragment with the refusal to take the oath is valid there, but to erect on it is a fetish. And here through the comment ... wassat
    6. Dym71
      Dym71 1 March 2014 14: 49
      +7
      Quote: Ari100krat
      Thank you for the article with a good share of healthy humor. good
      I'm wondering, but in this thread there will be a member of the forum, communicating exclusively with slogans and recognizing only the march "Farewell of the Slav" from the music? wassat


      I'll try for him.

      The NSDC will not fool us with the Crimean plan!
      But the Security Council swam - hello special forces of the Navy!
      The Field Marshal appreciated, before the guinto-wings from Russia,
      It remains to convey this plan to the IMF.
      According to the plan, Malyatko is charging,
      But we are not intimidated by the length of the lace!
      We stand by the mountain, and we will swear!
      For our aero! Mobile troops!
      1. Kunar
        Kunar 1 March 2014 18: 00
        +3
        It's like in a joke: ".....- Urgently call for reinforcements !!!! There are THREE of them !!!"
    7. Stalnov I.P.
      Stalnov I.P. 1 March 2014 15: 33
      +9
      After everything that has been written, heard and seen, you understand what kind of professionalism you can talk about the government in Kiev, the Minister of the Air Force will blame some kind of nonsense about Russian special forces, some Parubiy thinks about some kind of deviation groups, guys, if you yourself are stupid, stupid and bad , this does not mean that everyone else is the same. Look at your statements, it's a child's cry, the squeak of a described baby. After all this, you consider yourself a "cabinet of ministers", the language of pi = be, no head work, brains are needed. And your hands are shaking with fear and your graves have dried up, buy diapers, men are called. With your foolishness, you are profiting all of Ukraine, if you have not already profited, pack your suitcases, an armored train will come soon.
    8. Very old
      Very old 1 March 2014 17: 56
      +1
      Unfortunately, there is!

      Reap "plus points" exclusively on slogans

      Sorry, but it's already sick of it
      1. Stanislas
        Stanislas 1 March 2014 21: 21
        0
        Very old
        While reading this commentary by Ari100krat, I was singing Farewell to the Slav in my computer. I don’t think about the "plus", but: 1. a good slogan is sometimes more necessary than a pistol and 2. a soldier who does not dream of becoming an army general is bad. smile
    9. sssla
      sssla 1 March 2014 23: 00
      0
      Quote: Ari100krat
      communicating exclusively with slogans

      Yes here ---Long live Heavenly Ten Thousand
    10. pawel1961
      pawel1961 1 March 2014 23: 20
      0
      I don’t know who you are ??? but I would rip off your epaulettes. If they are.
    11. SkiF_RnD
      SkiF_RnD 2 March 2014 07: 27
      0
      and recognizing only the march "Farewell of the Slav" from the music?

      There are many more good songs.
      The anthem of the defenders of Moscow, for example. I love. And invigorates.
  2. older
    older 1 March 2014 11: 38
    +29
    I read the word Ukraine in the title ... The rest, as I understood the satire of humor? ... UUUUUU ... laughed .. Thank you very much to the author ... Only strong people can joke when it’s not a joke
    1. Alex 241
      Alex 241 1 March 2014 11: 53
      +25
      Quote: older
      Near the US ships cruising in the Black Sea, there was some strange submarine. What she does there is also unknown. But, stubbornly keeps close.
      1. older
        older 1 March 2014 11: 58
        +5
        am Damn .. I opened the Navy Special Force ... And on the fig, we then hid for six months in the Siberian taiga? lol
      2. v53993
        v53993 1 March 2014 13: 02
        +7
        Quote: older
        Near the US ships cruising in the Black Sea, there was some strange submarine. What she does there is also unknown. But, stubbornly keeps close.

        Moreover, without identification marks, but very similar to those that the USSR had.
        Hi Sasha.
        1. 120352
          120352 1 March 2014 13: 36
          +1
          I want to believe that it is ours, although only one remained at the KChF. Maybe pulled from the Baltic? After all, there are no nuclear submarines there, and they are mainly in the Northern Fleet. And it is alarming that she is next to the Americans and in the water position ...
          1. Captain45
            Captain45 1 March 2014 22: 36
            +1
            120352: "I want to believe that it is ours, although there is only one left at the KChF. Maybe they pulled up from the Baltic Sea? There, after all, the nuclear submarines cannot be located, and they are mainly in the Northern Fleet. And it is alarming that it is next to the Americans and in surfaced ... "
            This is a photo from an article on VO about how our boat wound around the Caribbean Islands onto a screw of the Amer’s GAS. laughing Have you been seduced?
        2. Kunar
          Kunar 1 March 2014 18: 04
          +6
          This is a seiner from the Novorossiysk fish farm named after "69 Years of Victory". We also have vertical take-off seeders ... repeat
      3. Evgen_Vasilich
        Evgen_Vasilich 1 March 2014 20: 48
        +1
        it protects dolphins from US sailors who are sober in attack
      4. Stanislas
        Stanislas 1 March 2014 21: 08
        0
        They say our ambassador from SaShi was recalled.
        1. Stanislas
          Stanislas 1 March 2014 21: 27
          0
          Are going.
    2. Rus2012
      Rus2012 1 March 2014 11: 54
      +9
      Quote: older
      I read the word Ukraine in the title ...

      to begin with, that the head of the Security Council Paruby-Natsik and Bendera ...
      they already tried to invade -
      On Saturday night, shots and explosions sounded near the buildings of the Supreme Council and the Council of Ministers of Crimea.

      “Tonight shots and explosions sounded in the center of Simferopol near the buildings of the Verkhovna Rada and the Council of Ministers of the ARC,” the Crimean News Agency said in a statement.

      The circumstances of the incident are being clarified.

      Earlier, the Prime Minister of Crimea Sergey Aksyonov in his address mentioned that "riots with the use of firearms" occurred on the territory of the republic, while he did not specify where and when they occurred.

      Recall that on Saturday morning Aksyonov announced the reassignment of “the formations, units, power structures of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the armed forces, the Ministry of Emergencies, the fleet, the tax, and border guards,” and asked Russian President Vladimir Putin to help ensure peace in Crimea.


      Now they’ll try the way. Weapons used, there is reason to act in the open!
      1. Rus2012
        Rus2012 1 March 2014 12: 06
        +7
        Quote: Rus2012
        Recall that on Saturday morning Aksyonov announced the reassignment of “the formations, units, power structures of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the armed forces, the Ministry of Emergencies, the fleet, the tax, and border guards,” and asked Russian President Vladimir Putin to help ensure peace in Crimea.

        Here is Russia's answer:
        The Russian Federation will not ignore the appeal of the Chairman of the Council of Ministers of Crimea Sergey Aksenov to the President of Russia on assistance in ensuring peace and tranquility in the autonomous republic, the Kremlin administration said.

        "Russia will not disregard this appeal," the Russian presidential administration said in connection with Aksenov's appeal.
        Source: RIA Novosti.
      2. older
        older 1 March 2014 12: 08
        +10
        Quote: Rus2012
        t. Weapons used, there is reason to act in the open

        Damn ... I would kill ... did you see the corpses? Do you know what it is? ... Guess ... let them try ... I’m not busy who were the men who checked the airport ... But, you guys are hammers .. . So it is necessary ...
        Scum is the commander who allows war on his territory ... Maidanutye win because they do not hesitate to threaten families ...
        So, as a soldier I say ... I’ll take my two or three enemies to hell, but the commander must provide for the life of my family ... Otherwise, I didn’t spit on such a commander, on such a state, and on all the others ..
        I read somewhere in the comments, the commander is obliged to ensure minimal losses among subordinates ... Here ... I will be behind the commander like a wall ...
        1. huut
          huut 1 March 2014 12: 55
          +9
          Quote: older
          Otherwise, I didn’t spit on a certain commander, on such a state, and on all the rest of them ..

          Yes, you already spat in one article on the Ukrainians, saying that they were not brothers to the Russians, and that’s all. And then I decided to cut the pluses, for balance?)
        2. RusSever
          RusSever 1 March 2014 13: 13
          +3
          In the Bundesian berets, of course ... By the way, do the feet in the taiga in boots not freeze ??
          1. Kunar
            Kunar 1 March 2014 18: 08
            +2
            There they take those to whom, due to increased shaggy, they do not give boots .... laughing
      3. 120352
        120352 1 March 2014 13: 50
        +2
        It’s a pity that there is no specific information about who used the weapon. Obviously, there is either no intelligence or it does not work. Namely, it is now absolutely necessary! Crimeans can not be proactive, because they do not know either the locations of the bandits, nor their intentions, nor their numbers, their armament, or their connections. It is necessary to attract specialists, otherwise you can expect tragic events. And if someone shoots from strangers, it’s obviously not for fun, which means that one must respond adequately, with all the proletarian stiffness!
        1. Kunar
          Kunar 1 March 2014 18: 09
          0
          Yes, spread Perekop and Will be like Aksenov's))))) "Crimea Island"
    3. Duke
      Duke 1 March 2014 12: 34
      +5
      I totally agree.
      1. Kunar
        Kunar 1 March 2014 18: 11
        +1
        And what about her? Already boiled from the pier ?? And not sunk ??
  3. Same lech
    Same lech 1 March 2014 11: 41
    +21
    Commander-in-chief Turchinov, plans for the shit ..com serious gap - there is no supply of diapers and toilet paper in case of a sharp urge to rectum in the ranks of the valiant fighters of the Maidan, because now you have to fight not with an unarmed BERKUT.
    1. Apollo
      Apollo 1 March 2014 11: 42
      +19
      Kremlin: Russia will not disregard Crimea's request for help

      more details http://vz.ru/news/2014/3/1/675002.html
      1. Tersky
        Tersky 1 March 2014 12: 02
        +5
        Quote: Apollon
        Kremlin: Russia will not disregard Crimea's request for help

        It does not leave anymore, unless of course this is nonsense from the "representative": Sergey Kunitsyn, Permanent Representative of the President of Ukraine in the Autonomous Republic of Crimea, told reporters the day before that Russia was transferring Il-76 planes to the peninsula of its paratroopers.
        “13 boards with paratroopers land in Guards, each of them has 150 people, count it,” Kunitsyn said on the air of a local TV channel.
        News here Apollo, Alexey, hi !
        1. kvnvolga2008
          kvnvolga2008 1 March 2014 12: 26
          +2
          Landing will give, if necessary, about ...... I Bandera thugs!
          1. Semen Semyonitch
            Semen Semyonitch 1 March 2014 15: 39
            +1
            Quote: kvnvolga2008
            Landing will give, if necessary, about ...... I Bandera thugs!


            Here the cobblestones will not work ...
        2. v53993
          v53993 1 March 2014 13: 07
          +2
          Sergey Kunitsyn, Permanent Representative of the President of Ukraine in the Autonomous Republic of Crimea, told reporters the day before that Russia was transferring Il-76 planes to the peninsula of its paratroopers.
          “13 counters with paratroopers land in the Guards, each with 150 people, count it,” Kunitsyn said on the air of a local television channel. News here

          Smart boy, he knows how to count. And to multiply weakly?
          1. RusSever
            RusSever 1 March 2014 13: 14
            +2
            Do not listen to nonsense - 13 Ilov ???
            1. v53993
              v53993 1 March 2014 14: 43
              +4
              Do not listen to nonsense - 13 Ilov ???

              I agree. For them, three will be many. The resource must be protected. We still fly to America.
              1. crowns
                crowns 1 March 2014 20: 17
                +1
                moreover, in Sevastopol, the brigade of the Marine Corps of the Black Sea Fleet
          2. Anper
            Anper 1 March 2014 15: 02
            +1
            Quote: v53993
            And to multiply weakly?

            So already on the Maidan in Kiev they counted, and Yatsenyuk announced in the morning - 6000 people.
          3. Kunar
            Kunar 1 March 2014 18: 12
            0
            The team, however ....
        3. 120352
          120352 1 March 2014 13: 56
          +3
          And this despite the fact that Kiev has closed the sky? Are they flying underground?
          1. Evgen_Vasilich
            Evgen_Vasilich 1 March 2014 20: 53
            +2
            what closed? cowards cleaner Baba Glasha, which cleans the Ministry of Ukraine?
        4. kotvov
          kotvov 1 March 2014 18: 28
          +1
          "13 boards with paratroopers land in the Guards, each of them has 150 people, count it," said Kunitsyn .......... as they say, BRYAKHNYA. They are trying to drag Nat into the matter. I don’t think I’ll get on.
        5. avia12005
          avia12005 1 March 2014 18: 29
          +2
          , on the IL-76 300 sits down. Poor materiel studied, corporal Kunitsyn)))
        6. SkiF_RnD
          SkiF_RnD 2 March 2014 07: 42
          +1
          Doesn't leave anymore, unless of course it's nonsense from the "representative"

          From Sevastopol, from the forum
  4. AVV
    AVV 1 March 2014 11: 45
    +8
    In the share of humor, there is some truth, but how without it ???
    1. older
      older 1 March 2014 11: 56
      +14
      They put the article’s pros and cons. What the author could say about the pain of everyone, both Ukrainians and even Russians. With humor ... We can read between the lines ...
      I’m not afraid to seem like a cynic, but ... Heroes never say that they are doing a feat ... They just go and do it ... with humor (and the point is to die with tears 0, with the belief that all this is not in vain ...
    2. major071
      major071 1 March 2014 12: 55
      +9
      Good article, with humor! good While reading and did not notice how he washed a plate of borsch. And under the good news and appetite, good appears! laughing drinks
  5. Field
    Field 1 March 2014 11: 45
    +43
    Friends sent, I don’t know the source
    Ukraine: Russia, you are not fucked up there?
    Russia: What is it? I’m only from the Olympics, I don’t know anything.
    Ukraine: Do you know anything? And who is this? (shows pictures from Simferopol)
    Russia: I have no idea. Your Simferopol, and find out.
    Ukraine: Che, are you kidding me? I don’t even know who this is! (shows
    pictures from Kiev)
    Russia: So there’s nothing with anyone to get Maidan. First, at least ask your name.
    Ukraine: You don’t talk to me. Say who it is, otherwise I'll call the USA.
    USA: I do not need to call. I’ve been sitting here for the third month and accidentally get sick.
    Germany: I’m generally here since the forty-first. Accidentally. And also okhrenevayu.
    Russia: Adeline! Sotnikova! Wowa !! Go Russia!
    Ukraine: Hey, Russia, stop pretending to be an idiot. I asked
    specific question. WHO. THIS. SUCH.
    Russia is carefully considering the pictures.
    Russia: In my opinion, there are some people.
    Ukraine: I'm losing patience. WHAT. THIS. FOR PEOPLE.
    Russia: Good. probably. There, guard something.
    Ukraine Russia! ALL! Enough! THIS IS YOUR FUCKING DESCENTURE! YOURS!
    FUCKING! ACCESSORIES!
    Russia: Mine? Come on. Although everything can be, I have on the Black Sea in
    last year after the exercises, two regiments were missing. Maybe surfaced. AND
    how do they bathe in fountains, break bars?
    Germany: No, no. Polite. Very polite. When Ukraine is in the ass
    kicked, even apologized.
    Russia: Then it's not mine. If polite and apologized, then it's a hundred
    pound american.
    USA: WHAT ?! Have you seen their equipment? And anyway, if they don’t kiss,
    then it's not mine.
    Russia: Nope. did not see. There, in the pictures, no nicherta can be made out. Yes how
    don't kiss? Look, take it by the tie, toss it on the chair - and
    to!
    USA: Idiot! This is Sashok. The public prosecutor is kicking!
    Freedom-equality-heroes glory!
    Russia: Well, it’s necessary, but it behaves like your ambassador. Are you sure that
    It's not him?
    Ukraine: So, Russia, do not leave the topic. I give you an ultimatum. To
    a day later there was not a single fucking paratrooper in my territory.
    Am I clear?
    Russia: And if not, then what?
    Ukraine: And then we will take a loan from you. And gas.
    Russia: And if so, then what?
    Ukraine: Then we will take a loan. And gas.
    Russia: you need to consult.
    Ukraine: So confer. Won the USA, won the Germany. Right here and
    confer. With me.
    1. A. Yaga
      A. Yaga 1 March 2014 12: 45
      0
      Quote: Field
      I don’t know the source

      source -
      http://takie.org/news/dialogi/2014-02-28-9123
    2. Evgen_Vasilich
      Evgen_Vasilich 1 March 2014 20: 56
      0
      rzhunemagu, still want (not the writer himself, the reader himself)
    3. cherkas.oe
      cherkas.oe 1 March 2014 22: 09
      0
      Quote: Field
      So confer. Won the USA, won the Germany. Right here and
      confer. With me.

      Well done playwright, direct text of the propaganda brigade speech on the topic of the day, a la in the morning in the newspaper in the evening in a couplet. good
  6. Field
    Field 1 March 2014 11: 45
    +35
    Russia: Yes, no problem. China, hear, here Ukraine wants about loans
    to talk.
    China: # $%! ^ * $! $! $
    Ukraine: Here it is.
    USA: Double shit.
    Germany: Mine, you are my Kampf.
    China:% @ # $% (& @ # $% ^ (
    Ukraine: What did he say?
    Russia: I have no idea.
    USA, Germany, Ukraine: Similarly.
    Russia: The most it is for negotiations. China-xiang, get started!
    China: $% ^ &! $! (
    Russia: Well, I went. Olympics! Everyone won! Hooray!
    Ukraine: Well, stand !!!! I have not finished yet. So if I see
    at least one of your Urals on its territory, I will make a nuclear bomb.
    Russia: Class. Will you do for a long time?
    Ukraine: Well, somewhere in half a year.
    Russia: Well done, with a technical background, I guess. Call me
    when you finish. I’ll come, I’m clean.
    Ukraine: I'm not joking.
    Russia: where will you get Plutonium, my serious?
    Ukraine: Russia, sell, huh ?!
    Afghanistan: Yes, did anyone sell plutonium to Ukraine in the end!
    We have hashish and the British contingent are ending, people are crazy about
    boredom is coming off.
    USA: NOW NO PLUTONIA !!!! Ukraine! Go cool, give
    I am a little bit indulging with Russia. Here you have pies and tea.

    Ukraine sniffs tea and runs away singing "How beautiful this world is, look!"

    USA: So, Russia, and now we’ll talk about how serious people are with serious
    by people. Why the hell did you start this crap with Maidan?
    Russia: USA, you are confusing something. I had the Olympics, you don’t
    Can you imagine how much dough you had to cut. I'm generally about your
    Maidan learned from your ambassador.
    USA: Well, the ambassador was ours. But he didn’t succeed. Interesting,
    why didn’t he succeed? Do not know by chance?
    Russia: How did it fail? Look how pleased Ukraine is.

    Ukraine runs by with a tire around its neck, shouting "time, pink elephant,
    two pink elephant, three pink elephant! "

    USA: Well, yes, the elephants turned out, here I do not argue. But what the hell
    did you burn this miserable administration? What does your Yanukovych do - we
    we don’t understand at all. Two analysts quarreled about him on our soil -
    a professor of Russian studies at the Pentagon and a military psychiatrist from the UN, and both came down with
    of the mind.
    Russia: Honestly, we also don’t understand what YOUR does
    Yanukovych. In our soil, in general, Kadyrov became a Russian patriot, and
    nobody knows how to pump out.
    USA: In general, I will tell you this. Or leave poor Ukraine in
    safe hands of freedom and glory, or I'll tell everyone what kind of person are you
    you all stand.
    Russia: After you publicly fed Ukraine with pies? Oh well.
    Even Turkey and Luxembourg do not believe you.
    Turkey: I ??? !!! I DO NOT BELIEVE USA! ??? Why are you, am I crazy, do you think ???
    Russia: And you try. Believe me.
    Turkey: (pushes): ... .... hell ..... bliiin ..... yours
    Mauserfaker ....... khhhmmm .... USA. Sorry. Does not work. I do not
    on purpose.
    Russia: See. You have not heard Luxmeburg. He generally after trying
    believe you suddenly began to talk about the inviolability of traditional family
    values.

    (from far away the voice of Luxembourg comes) Dad, Mom, I am a close-knit family!

    USA: Very crazy for old age. Clear. Then so. This is the plan.
    water supply of the Crimea. I will show it to Ukraine now and it will chop it off. AND
    all. Khan to you all.
    Russia: I see. Then so. This is a plane ticket to Sevastopol. AND
    I give it to Zhirinovsky. And that’s all. Khan of India.
    USA: .... ... Why India ???
    India: ... ... ???
    Russia: Well then. You block the water in the Crimea? Here after
    joining Crimea to India will be the Khan of India.
    1. Wedmak
      Wedmak 1 March 2014 12: 01
      +6
      It’s funny. ))) Bravo.
    2. bulvas
      bulvas 1 March 2014 12: 04
      +5
      Great fun, thanks!
    3. Field
      Field 1 March 2014 12: 19
      +2
      Source
      http://ortheos.livejournal.com/402852.html
    4. Salamander
      Salamander 1 March 2014 12: 33
      +28
      Class! I'M UNDER THE TABLE!!! +++++++++++ !!! !!! I still liked it (off topic, just like that about Ukraine):

    5. Duke
      Duke 1 March 2014 12: 54
      +2
      Hurray! Bravo.
    6. dima-fesko
      dima-fesko 1 March 2014 13: 30
      +4
      Class! For some reason, all this seemed to me like this: There are three people in the trolleybus. Suddenly, a characteristic strong sound of outgoing gases is heard. And all three pretend not to be involved and wave their hands "It's not me .."! Three are USA, EU, Ukraine
    7. v53993
      v53993 1 March 2014 13: 53
      +1
      The biggest plus. The text is urgently sent to the Library of Congress. So that the future generation of Americans knows what their stupid ancestors have and why they are.
    8. 16maksim16
      16maksim16 1 March 2014 13: 56
      +1
      Very funny, because the truth is very similar, but without negativity))))))
    9. RUS96
      RUS96 1 March 2014 14: 12
      +1
      WHAT DO YOU SMOKE BROTHER? laughing
      1. Salamander
        Salamander 1 March 2014 17: 22
        0
        They may misunderstand. hi
    10. v53993
      v53993 1 March 2014 14: 32
      +1
      To be continued?
    11. kare
      kare 1 March 2014 19: 39
      0
      Guys, thanks, laughed heartily
  7. Capyar 48315
    Capyar 48315 1 March 2014 11: 47
    +7
    In the USA, they are puzzled, in the EU they are concerned, and in Kiev there is generally a quiet panic. SO HOLD (A phrase about a boat straightened the mood by an order of magnitude)
    1. Egoza
      1 March 2014 11: 55
      +33
      Quote: CapYar 48315
      We are puzzled in the USA, in the EU,


      Turkey accused Europe of inciting civil war in Ukraine and provocations against Russia
      “You are obsessed with communism. Russia is a civilized country with its own laws, ”said the representative of the Turkish Foreign Ministry in the European Union and the main negotiator, Mevlut Cavusoglu.
      “Ukraine today, I hope, is indivisible, but it is already dangerously divided. The country's integrity is now in jeopardy. For two years our European friends have been trying to tell the Ukrainians: “Either choose us, or we will not support you,” and this approach is wrong, ”he said. Cavusoglu also added: “We want to continue to cooperate with Europe, but it needs to reconsider its policy,” the Turkish agency Anadolu said.
      XXXX
      Well done! Oriented in time! Remember. fellow
      1. Ari100kraT
        Ari100kraT 1 March 2014 12: 05
        +19
        Quote: Egoza
        Turkey accused Europe of inciting civil war in Ukraine and provocations against Russia

        Elena, why be surprised? Turkey, as well as Ukraine, is "mutilated" by joining the EU and for decades they have been holding carrots in front of their noses and they are trying to organize a revolution like a Maidan, it is just that there is not Yanyk, but "eggs" are present and therefore they are all "extinguished" at once. By the way, Turkey offered Russia to lease the port of Sinop if it suddenly gets "hot" in Sevastopol. But this is already a real "step towards" by the Turks wink
        1. v53993
          v53993 1 March 2014 13: 19
          +1
          Elena, why wonder?


          "... Here take it - and replace it!
          Where to get? We have any second in Turkmenistan -
          Ayatollah, and even Khomeini! ... "(V.Vysotsky)
        2. Aleksys2
          Aleksys2 1 March 2014 14: 23
          +5
          Quote: Ari100krat
          Turkey, like Ukraine, is "mutilated" by joining the EU and has been held in front of its nose for decades

          Or maybe this ..., let's call Turkey to the Customs Union? winked
          1. Kunar
            Kunar 1 March 2014 18: 32
            +1
            / It's time! And absolutely seriously ....
          2. Stanislas
            Stanislas 1 March 2014 21: 40
            0
            Let both Nats and Salam Aleikum come out!
          3. vlum
            vlum 1 March 2014 23: 27
            0
            Well, you can evaluate, for example:
            Turkey breaks into regional leaders (I)

            The visit of President of Ukraine Viktor Yanukovych to Ankara that ended on the night of October 10 was another important evidence of Turkey's continued active penetration into the vast regions of Southeastern Europe, the post-Soviet space, the Near and Middle East, where the government of Recep Tayyip Erdogan skillfully combines political and economic levers. “On the issue of trade and economic relations, we are preparing a fateful decision - this is the signing of an agreement on the creation of a free trade zone between our states. We are already coming to an end, ”his press service quoted the Ukrainian president as saying. For his part, Prime Minister Erdogan promised that by creating a free trade zone, trade between Turkey and Ukraine could reach $ 2015 billion by 20, compared with $ 6,2 billion at the end of 2012. [1] For comparison: the trade turnover between Ukraine and Russia in 2012 amounted to $ 45 billion. However, the planned by Kiev at the Vilnius Summit of the Eastern Partnership program in November, the signing of the Association Agreement and the free trade zone with the European Union can deprive Ukrainian goods of Russian markets. In this case, Turkey may already become the main foreign trade partner of Ukraine with all the ambiguous geopolitical consequences for the country.

            taken here http://bs-kavkaz.org/2013/10/turcia-rvetsya-v-regionalnye-lidery-i/
        3. vlum
          vlum 1 March 2014 23: 06
          0
          Sinop is interesting.
          The likely trick is that the operation of such a large infrastructure object as a military port automatically pulls the economy of a decent chunk of the surrounding region. While Turkey was already able to incorporate the Mediterranean resort coastal areas into the economy, the northern steep banks for resort purposes are of little use and there is just a place for such heavy, massive tenants as the Black Sea Fleet.
      2. rolik
        rolik 1 March 2014 20: 08
        +1
        Quote: Egoza
        Well done! Oriented in time! Remember.

        So))))) who is the last to book a ticket to Turkey for the current season ???))))))
      3. Evgen_Vasilich
        Evgen_Vasilich 1 March 2014 21: 06
        0
        yes laaad !!! Is that what the Turks say so? ... and they got some crap in NATO along the way ...
  8. nomad74
    nomad74 1 March 2014 11: 48
    +20
    Obama handed out that the G8 will not go because of the Crimea! And for me! Let him sit at home! Eurointegrators sank, That Crimea was going home to Russia! What is there, the UN Security Council on Crimea is also not interesting! From the big bell tower! This discriminated structure will last no more than 10 years! Crimeans well done! A word for the southeast of Ukraine! We look forward to hearing from you, there will be help! I don’t know which one, but it will be! We will not leave you in trouble brothers! You just try for yourself to start!
    1. yur
      yur 1 March 2014 14: 16
      +3
      Quote: nomad74
      Obama handed out that the G8 will not go because of the Crimea! And for me! Let him sit at home! Zassali
      Bliiin! I don't even know how to survive it! I earnestly ask the State Department to send 2-3 "pale green" lemons. We'll be grief with friends (aha! wink ) fill.
  9. Name
    Name 1 March 2014 11: 48
    +4
    Russia + Ukraine =, and that someone Doubts ... In vain! During 2-3 months it will be so.Only the party and lead. soldier not choke on all sorts of .... cheers before .. fellow
  10. Clegg
    Clegg 1 March 2014 11: 49
    -14%
    back in ussr? as they say, dreaming is not harmful, but useful.
    1. Field
      Field 1 March 2014 11: 53
      +8
      Quote: Clegg
      back in ussr? as they say, dreaming is not harmful, but useful.

      Come, the troll is pan-Turkic.

      Explain to me what Russophobes do on the Russian resource and why they write in Russian otherwise.
      1. Evgen_Vasilich
        Evgen_Vasilich 1 March 2014 21: 18
        0
        not, not on the other, on the occupation - in how much I shibanul !!! really slegg ?? don’t love us?
    2. skifd
      skifd 1 March 2014 13: 01
      +1
      Sorry "miracle", I made a mistake with the button, I soldered the plus instead of the minus. wassat Baptized, will not happen again!
      1. Clegg
        Clegg 1 March 2014 13: 21
        -6
        Quote: skifd
        Sorry "miracle", I made a mistake with the button, I soldered the plus instead of the minus.

        I feel violet laughing
    3. v53993
      v53993 1 March 2014 13: 31
      +3
      Clegg (2) KZ Today, 11:49

      back in ussr? as they say, dreaming is not harmful, but useful.

      We were born to make a fairy tale come true ...
      Greetings from Russia.
  11. apolenkov
    apolenkov 1 March 2014 11: 52
    +5
    In fact, everything is true,
    author krasava !!!!
  12. Vitaly Anisimov
    Vitaly Anisimov 1 March 2014 11: 53
    +14
    Ukraine will become an independent and powerful state only in conjunction with Russia ..! History of the fact ..! Now there is a run over us in Russia, we fight back as usual .. Brothers Ukrainians help us please ..! Remember the story! ! It's not about personalities (Putin Yanukovych, etc.) poison us! These are the things in the tank troops ..
    1. Ari100kraT
      Ari100kraT 1 March 2014 11: 59
      0
      Quote: MIKHAN
      Ukraine will become an independent and powerful state only in conjunction with Russia ..! History of the fact ..! Now there is a run over us in Russia, we fight back as usual .. Brothers Ukrainians help us please ..! Remember the story! ! It's not about personalities (Putin Yanukovych, etc.) poison us! These are the things in the tank troops ..

      Appeared wassat (see the first post) Only for some reason Ukrainians are asking Russia to help. In order to maintain my own common sense, I do not read more comments from this forum member wassat
      1. Stanislas
        Stanislas 1 March 2014 21: 50
        0
        Quote: Ari100krat
        But for some reason, Ukrainians are asking Russia to help.
        And if Yanyk escapes to the amers and there begins to conduct trade in Ukraine? In any case, the more citizens of Ukraine who are active in the Customs Union, the more difficult it is for the West to water us in the media and to sanction us.
    2. Clegg
      Clegg 1 March 2014 12: 04
      -23%
      Quote: MIKHAN
      Ukraine will become an independent and powerful state only in conjunction with Russia.

      Despite the fact that Russia is trying to divide it)) And, yet no country in conjunction with Russia will be independent, it will be a younger brother and that’s it.
      1. old rocket man
        old rocket man 1 March 2014 13: 18
        +9
        Quote: Clegg
        And, yet no country in conjunction with Russia will be independent, it will be a younger brother and that’s it.


        And what is bad?
        -Everyone loves you, protects you, at the table is the best piece, well, sometimes they chide affectionately, so what? laughing
        You are the younger ones. After all, this is a juvenile illness, a desire for "independence" on dad's money. laughing
        1. Clegg
          Clegg 1 March 2014 13: 20
          -5
          Quote: Old Rocketman
          -Everyone loves you, protects you, at the table is the best piece, well, sometimes they chide affectionately, so what?

          Such love is not necessary stop
          1. voloha_sr
            voloha_sr 1 March 2014 14: 21
            +5
            Dear Clegg at work, I very often happen KZ I saw and heard everything, but I can not say that the Kazakhs are stupid and stupid. Your comments convince me of your isolated limitation as a person. I hope that you, who received or received post-Soviet education, may repeat, perhaps wiser. Although I do not miss the fact that you are blunt and demanding proof from adequate visitors to the site, thereby increasing your worldview.
            1. Clegg
              Clegg 1 March 2014 14: 54
              -15%
              Quote: voloha_sr
              Dear Clegg at work, I very often happen KZ I saw and heard everything, but I can not say that the Kazakhs are stupid and stupid.

              I also thought that all Russians are smart, but before I went to this site laughing
              1. Dimych
                Dimych 1 March 2014 17: 18
                +4
                well, get out of it!
              2. kotvov
                kotvov 1 March 2014 18: 45
                +1
                as I understand it, you, too, want freedom, so call it, brothers, from Afghanistan. Or take a trip to Libya or Iraq. like you.
          2. muk89
            muk89 1 March 2014 19: 28
            +1
            Do you think you will be independent in the association? I have not seen more stupidity.
      2. ajhevxfyby
        ajhevxfyby 1 March 2014 13: 21
        +2
        Younger brother? What's so bad about that? Nobody complained before, and they lived, I mean ordinary citizens, it’s much better than after the collapse of the USSR! In fact, Ukraine, with all due respect, has never been independent, at least economically! I will not write about interstate relations, there are simpler truths - half, if not more, of the able-bodied population of Ukraine work in Russia!
        1. Clegg
          Clegg 1 March 2014 13: 26
          -9
          Quote: ajhevxfyby
          In fact, Ukraine, with all due respect, was never independent, at least

          At least it was the last 20 years, and do not forget that it is the founding country of the UN.
          1. Egoza
            1 March 2014 14: 23
            +6
            Quote: Clegg
            Quote: ajhevxfyby
            In fact, Ukraine, with all due respect, was never independent, at least

            At least it was the last 20 years, and do not forget that it is the founding country of the UN.

            Well yes! Only now the IMF dictated all the time what prices gas should have for the population, and the Russian Federation supplied gas, without which the whole industry could cover itself! Independent is when FULLY provides herself in ALL SPHERES, and if this is not, then I'm sorry ...
            Regarding the "founder of the UN". Can you tell me from whose submission she became a "founder"? STALIN INSISED, pointed out that Ukraine, Belarus and Russia suffered the most in the Second World War, because these three republics should be founders !!!
            And how much they appreciate it in Ukraine! This is probably why the monument to Manuilsky was dumped for bringing Ukraine to the UN !!!
            1. Clegg
              Clegg 1 March 2014 14: 56
              -7
              Quote: Egoza
              Independent is when FULLY provides herself in ALL SPHERES, and if this is not there, then I'm sorry ...

              So, your country is also not independent, because it cannot provide for itself in all areas. But you do not have anything other than the military-industrial complex and resources.
              1. Egoza
                1 March 2014 15: 43
                +6
                Quote: Clegg
                So your country is also not independent,

                I wrote about Ukraine! I live here and confirm - Ukraine has not been independent for a single year! winked
                1. Clegg
                  Clegg 1 March 2014 16: 29
                  -6
                  Quote: Egoza
                  I live here

                  Probably in the East?
                  1. housekeeper
                    housekeeper 1 March 2014 17: 06
                    +2
                    Probably in the East?
                    And in the East and in the South and in the Crimea live second-class people?
                    1. Clegg
                      Clegg 1 March 2014 17: 36
                      0
                      Quote: little house
                      And in the East and in the South and in the Crimea live second-class people?

                      No, all people are equal, but different views. Traditionally, most residents of the Southeast and Crimea are pro-Russian.
              2. Semen Semyonitch
                Semen Semyonitch 1 March 2014 16: 00
                0
                Quote: Clegg
                Quote: Egoza
                Independent is when FULLY provides herself in ALL SPHERES, and if this is not there, then I'm sorry ...

                So, your country is also not independent, because it cannot provide for itself in all areas. But you do not have anything other than the military-industrial complex and resources.


                She is from Ukraine, if that ...
                1. Clegg
                  Clegg 1 March 2014 17: 01
                  +1
                  Quote: Semyon Semyonich
                  She is from Ukraine, if that ...

                  Soul for Russia
          2. yur
            yur 1 March 2014 14: 33
            +2
            Quote: Clegg
            At least it was the last 20 years, and do not forget that it is the founding country of the UN.
            That's right, as is Belarus. True, this happened because Moscow so wanted (well, it was beneficial for us to have two extra votes smile ).
          3. old rocket man
            old rocket man 1 March 2014 15: 09
            +5
            Quote: Clegg
            At least it was the last 20 years, and do not forget that it is the founding country of the UN.


            Oh, just don’t talk about UN. Stalin broke through this case after the war, he also made it a "state".
            Now everyone is pouring sloppily on the Communists. And Ukraine, Estonia, Latvia, Kazakhstan and Finland got statehood from their hands. Only the Finns behave appropriately. negative
            1. Clegg
              Clegg 1 March 2014 15: 17
              -8
              Quote: Old Rocketman
              Now everyone is pouring sloppily on the Communists. And Ukraine, Estonia, Latvia, Kazakhstan and Finland got statehood from their hands. Only the Finns behave appropriately.

              Well, how would they move away from you in 1917, that is, they did not see all the "charms" of the communist regime
              1. housekeeper
                housekeeper 1 March 2014 17: 13
                +3
                they did not see all the "charms" of the communist regime
                I would gladly look at these delights once again in the form of free apartments, medicine, education, guaranteed work, symbolic "communal". I do not argue that the USSR was not an ideal state, but seeing everything that happens in "non-foreign Ukraine" you begin to "yearn for the Komsomol and party meetings." The phrase about longing should not be taken literally.
      3. Pashhenko Nikolay
        Pashhenko Nikolay 1 March 2014 14: 32
        +1
        And this is for the best. We must attach ourselves in the form of separate areas, so that henceforth there would not be any separatist ideas that are present in individual republics.
      4. v53993
        v53993 1 March 2014 15: 46
        +1
        Despite the fact that Russia is trying to divide it)) And, yet no country in conjunction with Russia will be independent, it will be a younger brother and that’s it.

        Being the younger brother of Russia is so honorable that few are lucky enough to become him.
      5. Black
        Black 1 March 2014 18: 48
        0
        Quote: Clegg
        little brother

        is being a younger brother bad? You, as a younger brother, during the years of Soviet power rushed from the Middle Ages to communism!
        Unhappy !!!
      6. Stanislas
        Stanislas 1 March 2014 21: 54
        0
        Quote: Clegg
        no country in conjunction with Russia will be independent, it will be a younger brother and that’s it.
        I don’t know how in Kazakhstan, but in Russia even younger brothers come with character. A.G. Lukashenko, for example.
  13. tomcat117
    tomcat117 1 March 2014 11: 54
    +6
    Quote: The same Lech
    Commander-in-chief Turchinov, plans for the shit ..com serious gap - there is no supply of diapers and toilet paper in case of a sharp urge to rectum in the ranks of the valiant fighters of the Maidan, because now you have to fight not with an unarmed BERKUT.

    The lack of toilet paper and diapers is not a gap, everything was taken into account by Turchinov on the principle: I carry everything with me. From them stinks for a long time.
    1. Ivan.
      Ivan. 1 March 2014 13: 48
      +1
      Quote: tomcat117
      The lack of toilet paper and diapers is not a gap, everything was taken into account by Turchinov on the principle: I carry everything with me. From them stinks for a long time.

      Extra dose of killer humor:
      They sit in the barracks and flatly refuse to undergo any kind of professional training whenever the thermometer drops below eight degrees.
      Complicating the situation is the fact that in such a cold, soldiers cannot use diapers that are given to them for the duration of long exercises in view of the impossibility of putting toilet stalls in forests, in the mountains

      fully
      http://www.anaga.ru/primerzli-k-pampersam.html
      1. skifd
        skifd 1 March 2014 14: 55
        +1
        God, how I had fun! And what such "super-heroes" can do in Russia? !!! laughing


        “As soon as the urine cools down, the genitals begin to freeze, and two servicemen literally froze their genitals to the inner surface of a disposable diaper. Pouring into a snowdrift, as ethnic Norwegians still do, the British soldiers were unable to - the younger generation lost these skills.
        For the Norwegians themselves, this situation caused only a grin. So the Norwegian Labor politician Ida Kathrine Balto Bjørnbak told reporters that she was amazed at how soldiers behave. “Let's hope that there will be no winter, no war!” She joked. In her opinion, extreme weather conditions should only temper soldiers. She noted that NATO considers “cold winter training” exercises at a temperature of eight degrees...in.
        “Eight degrees in northern Norway is a beautiful autumn day,” Balto explained. “But we must remember that NATO is represented by people from all over the world: they are Germans, Spaniards and Italians. They all live in completely different climatic conditions, ”she concluded.

        Thanks for the link . good
      2. SkiF_RnD
        SkiF_RnD 2 March 2014 08: 05
        -1
        Never refer to this rubbish! am
        http://www.anaga.ru/


        You read about the Russians there first. Your gloating is not from a great mind, with all due respect.
  14. nikcris
    nikcris 1 March 2014 11: 55
    +2
    Bravo!
    I like your anger fellow
  15. shtirlizt
    shtirlizt 1 March 2014 11: 55
    +4
    You just need to "remove" the leaders of the Maidan !!!
  16. axpert2008
    axpert2008 1 March 2014 11: 56
    +6
    Alexander, great sense of humor !!! I read and laughed heartily! "... (sorry to pay so much attention to dates, this is, (censored) important)" - after that I fell under the table ....
  17. avt
    avt 1 March 2014 11: 56
    +7
    If Nalyvaiko REALLY tried to get into the Crimea, it is a pity that he was not allowed to land and was not arrested! This is the very head of the SBU that organized hand-to-hand tournaments in memory of Shlyukhevych and it was with him that the Amer ambassador handed diplomas to the graduates of the SBU Academy. Yes and Poroshenko, as a rebel, it would be possible not only to expel him - to detain him, gut him well, and then, due to humanitarian circumstances - to intern without pants in Geyvropu.
  18. v53993
    v53993 1 March 2014 11: 58
    +4
    I wonder which way the organizers and inspirers of the Maidan will run? Klitschko does not offer. He, as a shell-shock, has already lost orientation in the cardinal directions.
  19. dr.star75
    dr.star75 1 March 2014 12: 00
    +4
    "An unknown guinea-winged helicopter persistently invaded the eter of Ukraine" laughing P. Are the Ukrainians on the forum? Is this a joke? Or is it really so written? According to the article: rats ran in!
    1. Egoza
      1 March 2014 12: 33
      +10
      Quote: dr.star75
      "An unknown guinea-winged helicopter persistently invaded the eter of Ukraine" laughing P. Are there Ukrainians on the forum? Is this a joke? Or is it really so? According to the article: rats were running around!


      It's all true! Here is such a "Ukrainian" IMPOSE to us now !!!! Only this "Ukrainian" was sent from Canada - a diaspora consisting of escaped Bandera! And in general, in accordance with the tastes of the owners of TV channels, they distort everything !!! If only it did not look like Russian. Hence - "mapa" - a map, "gyntokryl", "helicopter" - a helicopter and so on.
  20. chunga-changa
    chunga-changa 1 March 2014 12: 01
    +1
    Here you are laughing, and this Honduras was recognized in the West as legal authority. He has every right to ask NATO to send troops to Ukraine, including in the Crimea. And local workaholics gathered to solve something there already at the end of May, three months later, when either the donkey would die, or the paddies. And it is not yet known what they will decide there.
    1. tolancop
      tolancop 1 March 2014 13: 34
      +4
      Eat, then he eats, but who will give him .... NATO loves to fight from the air, and who to fuck? Black Sea Fleet of the Navy, Her Majesty of Russia? And the infantry is expensive to meddle in, and where and how? Crimea is closed ... To Kiev? Let's ... And it is still unknown what is hidden in the sleeve of the "dwarf Pu", who turned out to be a giant ..
      About the end of May - not funny ... Today we decided that "in May". And tomorrow there may be a decision "And h..le wait for May? Tomorrow !!!"
      1. antiaircrafter
        antiaircrafter 1 March 2014 16: 41
        +2
        Quote: tolancop
        "And h..le wait for May? Tomorrow !!!"

        Already decided March 30.
  21. Standard Oil
    Standard Oil 1 March 2014 12: 01
    +15
    It is not for nothing that the Americans, who arranged a bunch of "revolutions" and coups in Latin America, certainly tried to either kill (like Allende's example) the old president or get him to resign. And with Yanukovych, a puncture, a rag, and a despicable coward but still a legitimate president , he is still alive and has not renounced power, so in fact the people sitting in the Verkhovna Rada are just people who came from nowhere and took over power, where is their legitimacy? Who chose Maidan, but Maidan is not all of Ukraine. does Yarosh enter the Verkhovna Rada with a gun, say “the guard is tired” and become “the president of Ukraine?” He has the same “legitimacy” as Turchinov, perhaps even 30 more rounds. And we have a legally elected president here in Russia Ukraine, and there is a piece of order in the Sea of ​​Chaos (Crimea), count two Jokers, but what does the West have? The West has violent Nazis on the Maidan, an illegal government from any point of view, and perhaps everything. If Putin succeeds with these trump cardsdispose, then everything will be fine.
    1. dr.star75
      dr.star75 1 March 2014 12: 33
      +2
      If you remove the emotions, I completely agree with you.
  22. tchoni
    tchoni 1 March 2014 12: 03
    +4
    Neighing - already cried.
  23. v53993
    v53993 1 March 2014 12: 04
    +7
    Vladimir Vladimirovich our bravo! Will Europe be on Encore? WELL DONE!
    1. sniper
      sniper 1 March 2014 18: 26
      +1
      Quote: v53993
      Will Europe be on Encore?

      I hope not .... Nah we have so many 3,14 dorastov ???? wassat
  24. GOGY
    GOGY 1 March 2014 12: 07
    +6
    Article + laughter is a great power, I congratulate all members of the forum on spring!
    1. kotvov
      kotvov 1 March 2014 18: 59
      +1
      and you have the same thing. Especially for Ukrainians, people try to disseminate this very text about the association on the Internet. I hardly found it myself in Russian. They just kill Ukraine as an industrial country and agricultural country. God forbid anyone has such an association.
  25. Muadipus
    Muadipus 1 March 2014 12: 08
    +9
    Therefore, the submarine of the Black Sea Fleet of Ukraine "Zaporozhye" is in full combat readiness. Firstly, Ensign Malyatko, who is the best specialist in charging a single submarine battery, came out of the wilderness. Secondly, a cord was found that, if there is an appropriate order certified by a bet, you can even plug it somewhere. It is possible that the outlet. And thirdly, the boat commander personally assured eseme Commander-in-Chief Turchinov, that within a radius of one hundred meters (exactly the length of the cord), the submarine is capable of fulfilling the tasks of strategic command
    )))) Author, thanks! I haven’t been laughing like that for a long time.
    So it turns out that you can draw the general plan of the offensive on the maps as you like. But until ensign Mialyatko comes out from his belt, nothing will come of it. And they say that we are not of the same blood)))))
    1. housekeeper
      housekeeper 1 March 2014 17: 37
      +5
      So it turns out that you can draw the general plan of the offensive on the maps as you like. But until ensign Mialyatko comes out from his belt, nothing will come of it.
      As a representative of the glorious ensign cohort, who fell out of it on civil bread 10 years ago, I confirm laughing You can draw as many arrows as you like, but until the "ensign" matures all these plans will remain plans. laughing
  26. v53993
    v53993 1 March 2014 12: 12
    +5
    The first Olympiad in military adjoining sports continues. To date, eastern, southeastern Ukraine and Russia lead the team standings. Western hopelessly behind.
    But the next stage is the Kiev-Lviv marathon race. Here we have unbeatable competitors.
    1. v53993
      v53993 1 March 2014 13: 43
      +2
      The first Olympiad in military adjoining sports continues. To date, eastern, southeastern Ukraine and Russia lead the team standings. Western hopelessly behind.
      But the next stage is the Kiev-Lviv marathon race. Here we have unbeatable competitors.

      The organizing committee agreed with the proposal of the Russian special forces team, so that it was an obstacle race. Start on the Maidan, Kiev, 02.03.2014/10.00/XNUMX at XNUMX, finish ...., Mlyn, and we will inform you where the finish will be.
      1. v53993
        v53993 1 March 2014 14: 30
        +1
        Additional information for the participants of the race: "The number of participants in the" Maidan "team is not regulated. The participants who have reached the finish line from the" Maidan "team will receive hot tea, our cordiality and the 9-mm bullet are the best in quality in the world.
        1. v53993
          v53993 1 March 2014 14: 59
          +1
          Additional information for team members: "Maidan".

          The quality certificate for Russian-made bullets to the winners of the Benderlog race (or their relatives) will be issued free of charge and without delay.
  27. haarte
    haarte 1 March 2014 12: 13
    +2
    Respect to the author .... good laughing
  28. Al_lexx
    Al_lexx 1 March 2014 12: 13
    +3
    I like the sense of humor, the author of the article. Meaningful content is also on top.
    Deserved plus.
  29. delfinN
    delfinN 1 March 2014 12: 14
    +8
    Quote: MIKHAN
    Ukraine will become an independent and powerful state only in conjunction with Russia ..!

    With Central Ukraine it will be oh, how long a whole bunch of problems ...
    For example, when Paulus was captured, he quickly went to cooperate.
    Among other things, he was asked a question - WHAT must be done so that a German worker dressed in a Wehrmacht overcoat remembers his proletarian essence?
    Paulus answered - do not be mistaken, you can count on skepticism towards Nazism among the German aristocracy, among the intelligentsia, among businessmen, but the most fanatical adherents of Nazism are precisely the German workers!
  30. aleksandr_40
    aleksandr_40 1 March 2014 12: 15
    +2
    People, Thank you all very much. I caught HA-HA in full.
  31. ruslan7608
    ruslan7608 1 March 2014 12: 15
    +2
    A fun article !!! There is a joke in every joke, everything else is true.
  32. Al_lexx
    Al_lexx 1 March 2014 12: 16
    +1
    A bit of humor after: http://ortheos.livejournal.com/402852.html
  33. Alexgs
    Alexgs 1 March 2014 12: 18
    +3
    Taking off my hat! It was necessary to fuck everyone so beautifully .. Klitschko Tyagnibok .... Yaytsenyuk - study! Dimon, you too, by the way and merge this orc. He spoils everything for you. Specifically, White. Oh, how Siberia is waiting for him.
  34. saag
    saag 1 March 2014 12: 19
    0
    Quote: delfinN
    With Central Ukraine it will be oh, how long a whole bunch of problems.

    Ukraine is a scary gimor, and it’s better not to join it, otherwise its 130 billion debt will be inherited, it’s at least
    1. Field
      Field 1 March 2014 12: 29
      +4
      And we are not all, we are part without debt. wink
      And for the debts let the authorities officially recognized by the West be responsible
    2. delfinN
      delfinN 1 March 2014 12: 31
      0
      I agree with you, but most do not.
    3. Ivan.
      Ivan. 1 March 2014 14: 23
      0
      Quote: saag
      Ukraine is a scary gimor, and it’s better not to join it, otherwise its 130 billion debt will be inherited, it’s at least

      First, only the EU owes Ukraine 160 billion

      Secondly, we were urged to write off billions to others; now there is a reason to ask to write them off and help them in practice and not in words.
      Thirdly, if it falls apart, whose debts are a moot point and by then you will look and blow off the US and NATO soap bubble and there will be other times. It’s definitely not necessary to attach the only thing right away, there is no rush and you need to do everything wisely.
  35. 020205
    020205 1 March 2014 12: 22
    +3
    Obama handed out that the G8 will not go because of the Crimea! And for me! Let him sit at home!
    At this pace, he will soon go beyond the White House.
    Therefore, the submarine of the Black Sea Fleet of Ukraine "Zaporozhye" is in full combat readiness. Firstly, Ensign Malyatko, who is the best specialist in charging a single submarine battery, came out of the wilderness. Secondly, a cord was found that, if there is an appropriate order certified by a bet, you can even plug it somewhere. It is possible that the outlet. And, thirdly, the commander of the boat personally assured the Esemian commander-in-chief Turchinov that within a radius of one hundred meters (exactly the length of the cord), the submarine is capable of fulfilling the tasks of strategic command.
    I was lying under the table !!! Funny)))
  36. Trofimov Andrey
    Trofimov Andrey 1 March 2014 12: 28
    +6
    GRU special forces loaded in helicopters ...
    1. v53993
      v53993 1 March 2014 12: 59
      +1
      GRU special forces loaded in helicopters ...

      Share the photo upload. Thanks in advance.
      1. Trofimov Andrey
        Trofimov Andrey 1 March 2014 13: 09
        0
        http://photo.vesti.ua/kiev/811-hasidy-spjat-v-borispole-v-ozhidanii-rejsa
        There are still cool ones
  37. schizophrenic
    schizophrenic 1 March 2014 12: 31
    +3
    Good feuilleton for the grudge of the day, laughed well when the enemy is not so scary ridiculous. laughing
  38. saag
    saag 1 March 2014 12: 32
    +3
    Quote: Field
    And we are not all, we are part without debt.
    And for the debts let the authorities officially recognized by the West be responsible

    In this case, there will be a Yalta or Sochi agreement, who will get what and how much, including debts, and they will not agree entirely with Ukraine
  39. zollstab
    zollstab 1 March 2014 12: 33
    +2
    Obama's place in public transport is no closer than the 5th row from the driver. Let him know his place!
  40. vsoltan
    vsoltan 1 March 2014 12: 35
    +1
    Wonderful article!
  41. maxcor1974
    maxcor1974 1 March 2014 12: 39
    +2
    Alexander, thank you very much for the article. I especially liked about the submarine, maybe Turkish? laughing
  42. Gagarin
    Gagarin 1 March 2014 12: 40
    +5
    I really wanted to thank the author of the article for real humor, but after deafening ovations in comments, I can only wish good health, success in the work and the continuation of such articles. Article
  43. Old warrant officer
    Old warrant officer 1 March 2014 12: 42
    +2
    Thank! From the beginning of the Maidan, I did not laugh like that!
  44. Andrey57
    Andrey57 1 March 2014 12: 42
    +4
    Vika Nuland is crying, she is sad !!! After Zhirik's performance in Crimea, she won't even qualify, let alone the first round !!! "Performance" with cookies on Victory Square in Kiev, against the background of Zhirik's talent, looks completely sad and serenko, the only ball for artistry she received is for Nick's dull face, but he does what he can in dance dancing - he was beaten in the head since childhood! fellow
  45. The comment was deleted.
  46. PValery53
    PValery53 1 March 2014 12: 46
    +2
    Of course, all this gang-fraternity, which has moved from the Maidan to government offices, had to be promptly arrested and given to the Hague tribunal - let them understand each other.
    But instead of Yanukovych, nevertheless, we need to choose a more worthy president to be friends with Russia. And harness together with the Ukrainians to restore the economy Nezalezhnaya.
  47. platitsyn70
    platitsyn70 1 March 2014 12: 49
    +5
    A pair of Su-27 combat fighters received the task of patrolling the airspace of Ukraine, reports tsn.ua on February 28.

    Fighter pilots are ordered to use weapons on aircraft that without permission will cross the borders of Ukraine. It is emphasized that this information is verified.

    Earlier media reported that five military transport aircraft of the Russian Air Force landed in Crimea. Eyewitnesses say that Il-76 aircraft landed at the Guards airfield.

    Sevastopol flew to bomb, fraternized, but we have kerosene, no, maybe the Russians will ask for a long time, otherwise the crisis will not give it to the EU. Laughter and only that they are preparing a show in a crooked mirror. They want to speak with Petrosyan.
    1. SkiF_RnD
      SkiF_RnD 2 March 2014 08: 13
      0
      A pair of Su-27? Well what will you do ...
  48. skifd
    skifd 1 March 2014 12: 49
    +3
    The ultimatum.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sngNejNTEAE
    1. SkiF_RnD
      SkiF_RnD 2 March 2014 08: 29
      0
      The deputies are already shaking. And when it came to "in case of disobeying the requirements", the noise abruptly died down. They began to digest. lol
  49. ssf2257
    ssf2257 1 March 2014 12: 51
    +4
    Strength is in truth, and when you know that you are right, it is easy to behave in judgment and your humor is depressing for enemies. Thank you for the funny thing about the serious.
    1. Stanislas
      Stanislas 1 March 2014 22: 09
      0
      Quote: ssf2257
      Thanks for the funny about the serious.
      Even unexpectedly: SO funny about such a serious historical moment.
  50. tolancop
    tolancop 1 March 2014 12: 57
    +12
    It’s funny. Amused hard ... I would put a dozen pluses.
    I have always been proud of THAT Russia left in the past .. But lately, I have more and more reasons to be proud of THE PRESENT ...
    And I start with a slightly different attitude to the internal unresolved problems of the country.
    He treated our President ambiguously, but always considered him a man of work! And now respect for him has grown immensely. What an excerpt !!! Little talk, but a lot of BUSINESS ... A lot of work !!! In all directions.
    But nothing is finished yet. I think that everything is just beginning ...
    If (knock-knock on wood) Ukraine is able to return (not necessarily to the composition, at least to the sphere of influence and control), then all Ukrainian problems will have to be solved by us: to feed the pensioners (holy cause !!!) and state employees, to restore the destroyed, " extinguish the "internal enemy, etc. This is a lot of money. Are there enough resources? The Soviet Union was beaten, bringing down oil prices, and Russia’s dependence on oil money is even stronger. So we are waiting, sir ... Personally, I am ready to tighten my belt a little for a common cause, and you? (the question does not apply to those that already live protracted).