In the morning building on the parade ground, everyone was waiting for the division commander for 40 minutes. You know how it happens in the army: "Efreytorsky gap" on a larger scale. That is, the division into 9: 00 was appointed by the division commander and brought to the regimental commanders at the meeting. Kompolka was brought to the battalion commanders: "Building in 8: 30". Combines - company: "8: 10". Company - sergeants: "7: 55". Sergeants and corporal soldiers build already in 7: 45. The higher the bosses, the more it can give a "gap". I don’t know, this is a tradition or a typical dolby ... ism, but this is how it happened in our army. I got used to it even on time, and managed to quietly nap in the ranks during these morning hours. So it was on the term, so it was on the contract.
On a winter frosty morning, hiding in the middle of the line, I listened in half-nap to the instructions of the regiment commander. He apparently decided, taking this opportunity, to convey to the whole personnel some very important information. It is important to take care of the formation, while there is no division commander, a regiment of someone chikhvostoil of ensigns. The whole system hid a yawn. Remember how yawns are transmitted in the ranks: one yawned and it started ... Everyone is already yawning. I myself, having closed the high collar of the jacket, almost dislocated my jaw, sweet and wide yawning.
From not figs do Igoreh, standing nearby, pulled out the phone and plunged into some kind of game. He was saying something in a whisper and frantically pressing the buttons. It lasted about two minutes, then put the mobile in his pocket, somehow cringe strangely and began to look around. A minute later he began to depart in the last rows. The division commander came out on the parade ground, and the KP became the head of the line.
Igoreha jerked off from the construction, but was noticed by a zampolitom casually looking around.
Igor's escape from the parade ground did not pass with impunity. Already on the daytime construction, before dinner, he received a verbal 3,14 from a regiment from the regiment, with the promise of a polkan to personally forcibly change his sexual orientation for the next similar trick.
Going home, Igor smiled strangely. I could not stand it and asked:
- Why are you scrubbing? Few received? And where did you get off the construction? And then I somehow forgot to ask.
Igorek smiled even more.
- Listen, I always go to the toilet with the phone. The habit of this. As my first mobile phone, 5 years ago, appeared, so I play games on a jerk. Well, you know, at first "snake" was, then "mariyazh", "fool", then "tanchiki" and so on. And today I decided to play the phone on the parade too. I got it, started to play, and here I was PRINCIPLED as it was ... I almost felt it in my pants, barely reached the nearest toilet. Here, damn it, the conditioned reflex. Like Pavlov's dog ...
I already rode with laughter at his last words. I have an entire library at home in the closet, but I have never noticed such feedback.
I have a small 6 years. And he fell in love a year ago in computer games to play. And not in any, but in shooters, shooters in our way. At first he managed to work hard, and then the Nazis got the hang of it and beat the Japanese. Then he read with difficulty, but all parts of "Call of Duty", "Medal of Honor", "Metro 2033" passed in six months.
- How do you pass a mission if you don’t read them?
- That there is a star bug on the compass and that's it.
I didn’t see anything bad about it, I limited the time with the company, my finger motility developed, and sometimes I had to think and read. In parallel with the games, we learned about wars and battles (there are missions in Stalingrad and Berlin), the Great Victory (there is a mission, where you need to raise a flag over the Reichstag) and veterans (“Did one fight these grandfathers in real war? And they beat the fascist?”) . And yet - the son has no worse insults than the "fascist." Already not bad. I, too, could indulge, if where the small did not work. Later we switched to more useful educational igruhi.
This summer, my son studied roller skating. We went for a walk, I walked, and with a small roller skates the circles around me. Overtaking me once again and going backwards:
- Look, dad, how I do it. It is possible and faster.
And begins to accelerate backwards. And I suddenly notice a sewer well behind him with the lid shifted - he goes straight there and goes. There is no time to warn, and I suddenly "go crazy":
- SPACE! - I scream.
And a little JUMPING, almost flies over the hatch and safely falls on the ass. A little elbow ripped off. I went to the well, looked inside, and there at the bottom of the valve the screws were sticking up. Already in the sweat threw, as imagined, what would have happened if small there ... Br-rr. Horror. Luke, of course, we covered. And for myself I have put one more plus of global computerization.
3 (but not least)
Actually, how it all began ... Bike from the network. I can not retell. Let everything be copyright:
“Not so long ago, one guy from our department returned from Chechnya, an excellent operative, but a person from computers is as distant as an elephant from Antarktida. Especially when he tries not to remember his commander, but personally (as the main computer specialist of the department), I’m one way to talk
There was a battle for one populated point (a kishlak, in English), our guys went to sit at the head of the house, unable to get out: the hachas occupied a brick house (apparently, earlier belonged to the local chairman) and outfid from there. One of the main problems was the inability to use artillery or air support. Hachi, using a situation, fired a “disturbing” fire. It should be noted that AK-74 shots have a very high tendency to ricochets, so our guys didn’t feel very comfortable: and there was one guy among them, just a public helper, in the previous sysadmin (!).
So, when the next crazy pyllya whistled over his head, the boy's nerves surrendered, and with the “IDeDeKyDe !!!!!” cry, the guy broke into attack. The rest of the group is behind him. What is paradoxical is the fact that the militants from such impudence simply wowed the guns and frightened the moment when the whole group, shouting something utterly wild, broke into this very house of the chairman. In general, our kishlak our guys took. Some, of course, were banished, but there were no serious problems. Sysop got off easy at all, although he rushed ahead of everyone in the attack. When our opera in the evening asked the young man that he was yelling, the answer was an incomprehensible silence, and then the question: “Didn't you hear anything at all about Doom?”.
You will laugh, but the “code word” has become a kind of mascot of the detachment for the entire term of the mission. You can imagine the eyes of our opera when I explained to him what this means.
For the ignorant: iddqd - cheat code of the game "DOOM", giving invulnerability. "
PS Maybe the bikes and not quite army turned out, sorry. But it seemed they deserve your time. Thanks for attention!