What you didn't want to know about England
Author Alexey Lukyanenko - in the recent past, a successful Latvian businessman who, like many others, collapsed during the 2008 crisis of the year, was forced to leave for the UK and start his business from the very bottom.
From the author: Any coincidences with real events or people, please consider it an accident.
I never thought I would be in that situation. I often heard that many were leaving, and I knew many who had left. But I never thought I would go by myself.
Most of my life, I had my own, quite successful business, I worked a lot, and did a lot of things, and always found a way out of the most difficult situations. But life decided otherwise. No matter how hard I tried, I could not resist the situation in my country. It took shape ... Or laid down ... For the one and a half years spent in England, I came to the conclusion that it did not come about on its own. And I am writing about it now. And at that time I was going to an amazing country, about which a huge number of books were written and a huge number of films shot. Where amazing people live, about whom they make legends, and write hymns. Where everything is good, and where everyone is happy. Where the best products are produced, and where tolerance and democracy are at the forefront. It is clear that to create your business there, from day one, without initial capital, is utopia. So you have to start a simple worker at some factory. And then we'll figure it out. They say that they have everything there is easier than us. So, go ahead !!!
1. I had to start from the very bottom. From a fish factory on a remote Scottish island in the North Sea. According to the internet and the number of prizes on their website, this is one of the best salmon hatcheries in Europe. I wonder what happens to others then?
2. I was lucky that there was a Lithuanian in the workshop who had been finalizing the last two weeks. He told me everything and brought me up to date. As a rule, no one teaches anything to anyone. You look and enter. At first, even if accidents and stops occur as a result of your ignorance, everyone silently fixes everything, but no one says a word. The same goes for the locals. Nobody teaches them either, but we, on our own, learn faster. And so we are more valuable workers. Plus, there are many of us who really work hard. Although some of ours, if possible, quickly rebuild and begin to work on the principle of local ones. That is, diligently avoid working under any pretext. Sitting in the toilets with an iPhone, hiding on the street, in short, being where there are no cameras, and it is impossible to prove that you are not doing anything. If an idler is caught, the head supervisor gives him a lecture, and he answers “sorry” (sorry). This is all.
3. There is a category of local people at the plant who are just there. These are either someone's children who have nowhere to attach, because they just finished school and can't do anything, someone's brothers, sisters or relatives who do not want to go to hard work, and instead sit out their pants here, or people near retirement age. The latter are supported until retirement. They usually walk around the plant all day long with their hands folded behind their backs, or they carry an object back and forth, such as a coil of rope. They have positions like a day cleaner (cleaner), and on thirty-minute breaks (breaks), they wash the already clean walls with a hose. Sophisticated equipment, which is all in fat and guts, wash ours. Our cleaners, on the other hand, also worked the night shift, when it was necessary to clean the entire plant. The local was a supervisor there, although we must pay tribute, he also washed the workshops along with all the nightlights. Four people, plus a supervisor, washed all the lines and all the shops overnight. When we came in the morning, these people were scary to look at. During the day, while working, local youth took ice from bins (large plastic containers), made snowballs and played with them. The assistant supervisor, an older woman, absolutely unable to organize anything, and very strict with us, just looked at them and smiled. Sometimes they hid behind her during the "battle", and sometimes they even hit her with a snowball. All this was visible on the cameras in the supervisor's office, but he did not say a word to them. The real situation at the plant is one non-working person for one employee. But everyone gets paid the same way.
4. We had a young Lithuanian assistant supervisor. She did not understand anything about work, but she was very beautiful, constantly spinning around the manager and his assistants, opening all doors and gates in front of them, and knocking on everyone and everything. That's probably why they made her an assistant.
5. When you come to work in the refrigerator, they give you only gloves, a cap, ordinary rubber boots and oilskin (rubberized overalls with straps, by the way, made in Latvia). The refrigerator is usually +2, sometimes there is a minus, but warm clothes are your personal concern. Over time, if you get a contract, and if you ask, they can give you a synthetic winter hat and thermal boots with thick soles. This is all.
6. If you get sick or injured, it's your problem. A Lithuanian once tore his back, and the doctor told him that he had to lie at home for two weeks. When he said this at work, he was fired so as not to pay sick leave, and after he recovered, they took him back. Due to the interrupted seniority, he lost all annual bonuses. I hit the forearm of my right hand with a box two weeks after starting work. When I lifted heavy boxes, the pain was wild. But at that time, I did not have a contract, and I understood that if I could not work, then I would be fired. I bandaged my hand, and when the pain was completely unbearable, I rolled up my sleeve, unwound the bandage and put my hand on ice. After a couple of minutes it became easier, I bandaged my hand again, and continued to work. All the colds that came later, for all the time I worked, I endured on my feet, eating medicines right in the shop. Locals in such situations immediately go on sick leave, and may not appear for weeks. They just bring a piece of paper from the doctor and go home again. Nobody will fire them. They try not to give you a contract as long as possible. Without a contract, you are nobody. You work at a reduced rate, and you can be told any day that you are not needed. Plus, you don't have guaranteed pay for 30 hours a week if there's no fish. Only contractors have it. Some of ours have been working without a contract for years. Simply because there is nowhere to go. I was given a contract quickly, at the end of the verification period. But I think it’s only because it’s very difficult to find people in the refrigerator, and they just tried to tie me up. Locals from other workshops openly said that if they were transferred to chill (freezer), they would not even change clothes. They just go home. Because it is hard and inhuman work. And you can't bully people like that. I had a record. The local worked in our workshop for 2,5 hours, went to drink some water, and did not return. Before that, they usually kept for about two days.
7. Refrigerator. Rate without contract £6,05 per hour, before tax. With a contract of 6,55. This is the hardest job in the factory. Loading and shipping finished product. Our people go there, who have nowhere to go. There should be 6 people in the workshop. In reality, they were never there. Or rather, there were more when there were none. robots. Then, from the conveyor, along which the boxes are constantly moving, all the products were removed by hand and loaded onto pallets. That is, a fully automated plant, in 2011, at the exit to the warehouse, had no equipment other than movers. A team of 6-7 people passed from 40 to 120 tons of fish daily, depending on the season. As a rule, ours worked on loading, the locals only took the finished pallets with rokles and took them out to the ramp under the fork of the loader. I'm lucky. A few months before my arrival, robots were installed. And the bulk of the boxes went to them. Our hands got only boxes for the smokehouse. But the number of people has also doubled. For the smokehouse, everything was loaded manually in any case, because the boxes were without lids. On bad days, two or three of us loaded up to 100 pallets of 21 or 24 boxes each. One box of fish and ice weighed an average of 25 kg. At the same time, it was still necessary to have time to correct the boxes that went to the robots, re-paste crooked labels with bar codes, pull out the boxes if they got stuck on the line, and collect from the floor and repack those boxes that the robot dropped. If the robots stopped, we started to load everything with our hands. The plant could not stand, so the general manager did not care how we coped. In addition to us, there was a supervisor (manager) and two weisers (assistant managers) in the shop. They were local. The supervisor was paid £10 an hour, the Weisers £8. They helped us very rarely. Basically, they took out finished pallets from manual loading, and from robots. The rest of the time they chatted and stuck on their phones. One local worked on loading with us. Ego's name was David. But he was on hand. Only a sick local could go here. A normal person wouldn't go here. It was a unique worker. First, we never knew whether he would be in the morning or not. Being late is normal practice. There were days when the Lithuanian and I were the only ones in the workshop who came on time. We arrived at 7:50 and prepared the workshop for work. By 8 the supervisor pulled up and turned on the robots. Later, he taught me how to do it, and began to come even later. David crawled at five minutes past nine, sometimes at half past ten, or he might not come at all. Weisers could be 10-15 minutes late. But they couldn't be kicked out. The Weisers knew how to control robots. And that was the main argument. In fact, the whole system looks like that any offense of a local worker is hushed up and no one pays attention to it. No accusations. No comments or reprimands. I think because they all understand that they themselves can be in the place of the guilty at any moment. And then no one will say anything to them either. They are all equally irresponsible. And there is no point in saying anything to anyone. Today I will redo it for him, and tomorrow he will redo it for me. Unlike them, we were reprimanded for everything.
8. There were days when only David and I were on the assembly line. When many boxes for manual loading began to go, he turned around and went to the toilet. And when he returned, he took a rokla (a trolley for transporting pallets) and rode around the workshop. Or sitting in the office. One day, my patience snapped, and I told the Weisers what it is, in my country they break the face. They immediately drove him to the workplace. But the next day it all happened again. When David got tired of working at such a pace, he took several boxes of fish and threw them in a big way. One into the wall, one into the electrical panel, one into the finished pallet. And after that, he turned around and left with the words that he would not clean it up. I had to collect fish, twist the wires cut off from the sensors, remove the ice. If only because it was necessary to somehow walk. And the whole floor was strewn with salmon and ice. There were days when he had fun. He put his hands on the moving conveyor belt where it was lubricated, and when the gloves turned black, he walked around the finished pallets and put his palm prints on the snow-white foam boxes. I wonder what customers thought when they received such a cargo in the USA, Germany or Dubai? In moments of lyrical mood, he made a hole in the foam box and fucked her with his index finger. After some time, he got a second job in a taxi. He told me that he went there not because of the money, but because a lot of girls had to be brought there. And they often pay with sex. When he had to choose between overtime (overtime) at the factory, and working in a taxi, he dropped everything, turned around and went to work in a taxi. The supervisor, swearing loudly, rushed after him, but he only added speed and disappeared through the door. He didn't care. It is said that David had several dozen warnings. We were fired after the third.
9. By the way, the tendency to destroy boxes was observed not only in David. From time to time our supervisor went berserk. He started throwing empty pallets and boxes, breaking them and kicking them. Nobody touched him, just because there is simply no one to find in this place. And once you get there, you stay there forever. Unless, of course, you don't leave. And he had absolutely nowhere to go. At 40, he couldn’t do anything else, and the island was quite small, and there weren’t many job offers there. Locals, as a rule, do not want to go to such a job as his, and they will not put an emigrant as a supervisor.
10. Process, this is a workshop where salmon is cut into fillets using a special machine. And then the bones are taken out of it. By the way, it is impossible to tear out bones from a fresh, freshly killed fish. Therefore, it should stand in the refrigerator for about two days. Then the bones peel off from the meat, and they can be pulled out of the fillet. Then the fish begin to cut. This is at best another day. Then another day she goes to the mainland. And then to the store. Therefore, the word "fresh" and "excellent" is not really about him. Among other things, people from the process did not strain much with taking out the bones. And when there was not enough ice, the supervisor took it with a shovel from the floor and put it in boxes. I just took it from the pile that formed under the ice machine. When a box of fillets fell off the line in our shop, no one carried it back to the process either. It was much easier to turn the box on its side and push the ice and fish back with your boot. Fortunately, everything was wrapped in blue plastic wrap, and the resulting mess could be covered with it.
11. Organic. Wildly expensive products. There were several special farms that raised organic salmon. I don’t know what they did with him there, but one day the ship brought a fish that was literally torn with its hands and stank terribly. We assumed that she died a natural death, and her main advantage was that she died without stress, and therefore wildly healthy. The rest of the time, she was alive and very beautiful. Nevertheless, there were a couple of days when the ship brought ordinary fish, but after a while boxes with the “organic” sticker began to come out, and then the usual one came again, although it was all from the same ship.
12. Sometimes the engineers forgot to close the street gate to the refrigerator. They remained open to the street from Friday, and on Monday, it was almost impossible to enter the shop. Several tons of fish were rotten, the blood flowed out of it on the floor, and it stank so much that I wanted to vomit. But it was necessary to work. And the office was feverishly thinking what to do. As a result, all this fish was put into the smokehouse. There are many recipes with various spices and spices that saved the product. Then the girls began to wrinkle their noses at the process, which butchered her into fillets. The most interesting thing is that they did not even know why there is such a stench. But we, at breaks, brought clarity to them, and from this they wrinkled their noses even more. And the engineers, as if nothing had happened, continued to work on.
13. In general, the system of working by the hour is very good for experienced workers who use it to pass off their own idleness as a full-time job. Our supervisor, a single man who didn't have to rush home, sat in the office until 9 pm. Even if we finished work at 5. Sometimes he left someone with him to walk around the shop, wipe the robots, transfer pallets from place to place, but this was very rare, and he left only very close ones. In addition, there were cameras in the workshop, and it was not possible to fool around for a long time. But in the office, there was no camera. The supervisor covered the office windows with lids from empty boxes and watched porn. In fact, he always watched it. And he brought the most interesting moments to show to employees on his IPhone. He never showed me porn. Apparently he understood that something else was on the list of my hobbies. By the way, sometimes, if David leaned over to pick up something, the supervisor instantly joined him from behind and pretended that he was fucking him. All the locals laughed a lot at this moment.
14. During the process, the clock was stolen differently. The cut and packed fillets were dumped into a large bin (container), all Lithuanians were dismissed from the line ahead of time, and then there was a supervisor and several locals close to him who laid out the fish in boxes and sent them to our workshop. We, of course, felt good, because the boxes were small, light and it was an easy extra watch. I had a case when I made a clock out (an electronic mark for the end of working hours), and followed my girlfriend to the second floor to go home. She lined up empty boxes for tomorrow. Usually 3-4 people do it. But none of ours stayed for overtime (extra time), and the British, as usual, left. I was told not to stay without the supervisor's permission, and I went to ask permission to help her. Finding no one, I returned and began to help. I couldn't sit and watch her alone unload a whole truck. In the morning I was told that in such a situation, the supervisor should look at the recordings on the camera and manually write down extra time for me. After all, I worked! Sveta went to him, explained the situation and asked me to add time. Instead of an hour worked, I told her that let him write at least 30 minutes. But I didn't get anything. It wasn't even offensive, just disgusting. Against the general background of the scale on which the clock was stolen at the factory, 30 minutes of confirmed time got in his throat. I just wasn't local. A local would get everything up to the minute. After all, there is a clock on the camera.
15. Svetka's daughter had to undergo eye surgery. She had congenital strabismus. On the island, such operations were not performed, so it was necessary to fly to the mainland. The state paid for everything. The plane back and forth, a taxi to the hospital and the operation itself. The child was in a ward with an adjustable bed, a huge TV, a computer, the Internet, toys, books, fruits and yogurts. The daughter was fed simply to satiety, and her mother lived in a special hotel for parents at the hospital, and everything was free there too. When they returned, they were also paid money for gasoline, because she was driving her car to the airport on the island. The same thing happened the second time, when it was necessary to go for a postoperative examination. Only this time, instead of a plane, there was a paid ferry.
16. After some time, they began to give us overtime and, after the main time in the refrigerator, I began to go to the smokehouse. It was the same dispatch (sending finished products), only packs of fish weighed 150 grams, and they had to be packed in boxes of 10 pieces. And for the same 6,55 pounds per hour. There was also a refrigerator, but the work in it was not to hit the recumbent. It was especially good on weekends, when on Saturday it goes one and a half and on Sunday even two rates per hour. I was called there by a Lithuanian who had been working there for 7 years and did all the work of a supervisor, who usually checked in in the morning, and left for the whole day on his own business. For the fact that he actually performed all his duties instead of the supervisor, the Lithuanian could stay at the plant as long as he wanted. Therefore, he always had a good salary. That's where I first saw Kevin. It was such a local attraction. He was a little out of his mind. Apparently from birth. There are a lot of sick people out there. Apparently it's a DNA problem. They said that the effect was that for many years they had marriages between relatives. Fathers slept with daughters, brothers with sisters. And as a result of the process, they gave birth to children. In fact, even now, there you can see people who look like fabulous forest gnomes. Small in stature, with huge noses, close-set small eyes and small, rolled up ears. A huge number of people in wheelchairs, making some kind of animal sounds. Sick children. It's some sort of genetic shift. And I have heard more than once that the kingdom allowed a stream of emigrants into the country to dilute the blood. Kevin, apparently, was not the most difficult stage. He went to work at the age of 15, got a forklift license and a car. By the age of 21, he had already worked for five years in fish factories, he had a red tuned Ford Focus with two white stripes on the body, and his favorite pastime was to pick up schoolgirls on the road. He was caught and tried for sex with underage girls more than once, but each time he was released. Because he was sick. He left the courtroom, and continued to do what he loved. And everyone just waited for the next time. I could hardly bear his bestial gaze. He was always talking some nonsense, although, to be honest, sometimes it seemed that he was not a fool at all. And they just pretend to be. Once a Lithuanian asked me:
- Do you want to laugh? “Kevin, come here.” He took a 150 gram-pack of smoked salmon, showed it to him, and said:
- Kevin, here are 150 grams of fish. How many fish are in three such packs? - He thought, and after a while answered:
- 350 grams. - We kept our smiles, and the Lithuanian went on:
- And how many fish are in ten such packs?
- Approximately a kilogram. - sounded confident answer.
- And how much will 3 multiply by 7?
- 35 !!!
17. Once in a smokehouse they told me that we would pack fish for a promotion in a trading network. There were very often promotions "pay for one - take two." In the dispatch shop there was a pallet with cardboard boxes covered with snow. Usually bags of fish flew out of the window of the smokehouse, but today, they were in cardboard boxes on a pallet. Several workers took their contents out of the boxes and glued a sticker with a date for several days in advance. At first I did not understand what was happening, but then, when we went to the freezer, taking out another icy box, I saw a date sticker on it. September 2009 was there. And in the yard was the second half of 2011. The fish was stored in the freezer for 2 years. And now it was packaged for a share, in a store where it costs 25 pounds per kilogram. I asked the Lithuanian what will happen to the one that is being smoked now. He replied that he would go to the freezer.
18. Sometimes our workers from other shops went to the smoking shop for overtime. Eat salmon. If it was still possible to take raw sometimes legally, then they were immediately fired for smoked. Therefore, if you stand with your back to the camera, you can quietly eat it. Especially in packaging. But that was not the point. There was one recipe where smoked salmon was sprinkled with brandy before being vacuum-packed. From such a bottle, as they puff on flowers. Usually ours stood in this place, and puffed once on the fish, once in their mouths. The ending was pretty good. And the locals did not go there, because they have no idea how you can drink pure whiskey, brandy or vodka. For them, it's unrealistic. Although three - four pints (pint - 0,568 liters) of beer per evening, and a couple of glasses of wine upstairs - this is the norm.
19. When it was necessary to pack fish in a smoker, the supervisor tried to take ours. Because there had to be four different recipes, put in different boxes, before that, putting them in four different cardboard envelopes. But the most difficult thing is to put the vacuum pack with fish into a paper envelope all the time with your face in the window. In addition, packs with broken vacuum had to be discarded. The locals did it with great difficulty. They were constantly wrong. And the stores filed complaints because instead of the fish in the packaging window, the reverse side of the foil from the lining was visible, and in some packs the vacuum packaging was completely broken.
20. When cutting salmon, red caviar is thrown out along with the intestines. The locals say you shouldn't eat fish eggs.
21. Face masks and head nets are put on only when the check arrives.
22. Hard work and uncomfortable living conditions greatly affect relationships between people. At home, we began constant quarrels and scandals. And this did not add optimism at all.
23. The sister of my friend, with whom we lived, once, during another swearing with her boyfriend, said: - If I had known how it would all end, I would never have got into your new BMW in Riga. The bastard "drove" me to the fish factory on the island. I think they are still paying off the loan for this car. Although the bank took it a long time ago.
24. The robot sorts the boxes by bar codes, which are pre-glued to them on the scales in the packaging shop (packing). If they are not glued to the center of the box, crooked, or upside down (this also happens), the robot drops the box back. The local who stands on the scale sticks stickers at random, and then we paste them all day on moving boxes. There is no force that can force him to start doing it like a human being. He says "Ok, Sorry" ("Okay, sorry"), and continues like that. I guess it's just an impossible task for him. He just CAN'T. But worse than that, only a local who comes to overtime on Saturday or Sunday. Because he comes in drunk after a night in the pub. And then, the robots just stop because they can't read the nonsense that is pasted on the boxes. And yet, a local comrade, you can come stoned or overeaten with hallucinogenic mushrooms, which grow in huge quantities on the island.
25. In case of equipment breakdown, engineers try not to repair anything for as long as possible. And come to the call as late as possible. And then, they stand and watch as we either start working by hand, or climb to repair ourselves. Above each window where the conveyor belt comes out, there are electrical panels. At one, the switch was stuck all the time. All 6 months of work we beat him with a fist, and the line turned on again. When the supervisor saw this, he scolded us for our attitude to the equipment. But, when he got tired of waiting for engineers for 40 minutes, he began to do the same. On the second electrical panel, in a thick stream, water flowed from the cooler (cooler), which stood under the ceiling. It flowed from time to time when the condensate tank overflowed there. All that had to be done was to clean the drain pipe that hung on the wall. I asked to do this for a week. It was wildly scary to stand near the shield, because everything around was wet. And in the event of a short circuit, the entire workshop would probably light up, and together with us. When the conveyor chain flew off the cogwheel, we used to stop the line, throw the chain over two teeth, like on a bicycle as a child, and turn it on again. Troubleshooting took less than a minute. Engineers used to unscrew all the tensioners, remove the cogwheel from the axle, insert it into the chain, put the wheel back on the axle, screw it into place, and tension the chain with a tensioner. It took about 20-25 minutes. Unless, of course, they forgot to bring some tool. The most interesting thing I saw was that once, when the line stopped, an engineer came, opened the shield, looked at it for a long time, and then said that it was impossible to fix this malfunction. Then he closed the closet and left. We found the broken wire on our own, twisted it, and the line started working again.
26. One week Kevin worked for us from the smokehouse. He was assigned to take out finished pallets from robots. To do this, you need to stop the robot, go into the area of its work, take out the pallet with a rokla and turn on the robot again. But Kevin always confused the sequence of buttons, even though they were all different colors. And the first thing that happened after he pressed the buttons, instead of stopping, the robot took an empty pallet, and in a big way put it on top of a full one with fish. There was a bang, fish, ice and Styrofoam flew in all directions, and then we all raked up the consequences for 30 minutes, because it was necessary to collect broken boards from pallets, pieces of Styrofoam, fish and repack everything again in 24 boxes. The plant was standing still at that time. When this happened several times, Kevin was banned from approaching the robots. But that's all he got away with. If I did it, at least it would be dismissal on the same day.
27. There was a very interesting guy from St. Petersburg. Or rather, he was born there, but his parents took him to France. He said that they were very rich, that they had a huge hotel on the Cote d'Azur, that he was tired of the sweet life and he decided to taste hardships and hardships. And that he needs hard work. However, he refused to go to us, and went to light work for the process. Most likely, his parents sent him to try what a different life is. He was too sad all the time.
28. There were free English courses on the island. State program in the college. But that's only in Scotland. In England, the same courses cost £770.
29. One evening, a local young guy who worked as a cook in our cantina (dining room) was caught by the police when he masturbated under the window of a house where a girl was changing clothes, forgetting to draw the curtains. All local newspapers wrote about it. However, after that, he calmly continued his work in our factory in the kitchen, and during breaks, when he put food on plates, meeting someone's gaze, he simply smiled in embarrassment.
30. There was a secret Jen at the factory. She looked very good, despite the fact that she was already well over 40. She walked around the shop, and grabbed all the young men by the penis with her hands. And the girls stroked the pope. During breaks, she would show her naked pictures on her phone to everyone who wanted to watch and complain that she did not have a boyfriend. One Pole decided to help her. She agreed and invited him to her home. When he arrived, she called the police and he was taken away on charges of attempted rape. One day she pissed off one of our guys and he threw a fish at her. Jen ran to the office, and he immediately received a warning.
31. Many locals ate on credit all week. Because on Monday they have no money. Friday's wages, over the weekend, to the last penny settled in the pubs. Therefore, they ate on credit all week, on Friday, after the salary, they gave what they owed, and the difference, over the weekend, was again left in the pub. They always feel absolutely calm, because next Friday there will be a salary again. And if not, then the state will still not let them die and will pay benefits.
32. If a little snow falls, everything is paralyzed. Schools are closed. Half of the locals don't come to work. And if they come, they leave in the middle of the day, because they have to get home by car while it's light.
33. Our people sometimes "forget" to pay in the store. They take a full stroller with food and alcohol, and take it past the cash register. Even if they are stopped, they say they forgot their wallet in the car and will be right back. There is no crime on the island. Cars are parked with open windows, keys in the ignition, expensive phones and bags on the seats. Houses are not locked. On weekend mornings, while you are sleeping, the postman comes into the hallway and leaves letters and parcels. Once in the store there was the wrong promotional price tag for mayonnaise. When at the checkout we were knocked out an amount twice as much, we asked why this was so, because there was a smaller figure on the price tag. The senior shift came, checked the price, they returned the full amount that was knocked out at the checkout, and gave us mayonnaise for free. Because it was their fault.
34. There was such a Gunar. And he had a girlfriend, Iveta. They lived together and drank just black. Having drunk, they constantly fought and sorted out the relationship. When she came home and saw him sitting on the couch with a can of beer, she just kicked him in the face. And he regularly kicked her out of the house. Once a friend came to them, and they began to drink together. Having drunk, Iveta began to perform, and they tied her up and put her on the sofa. Having managed, the guys went to smoke. In T-shirts and slippers. And Iveta untied herself, locked the door from the inside, and called the police. Later, Delphi will write that a Latvian citizen was arrested in England for the forcible imprisonment of his girlfriend. They have a serious article, by the way.
35. It is constantly raining on the island and a strong wind is blowing. There are times when you see your car in the morning, but you can't approach it. Such a force oncoming air flow. There is almost no sun. Over time, a completely depressive state sets in. When there is a strong storm, and the ferry does not go to the mainland, there are no products in the stores. Even bread. Therefore, at home you always need to keep a supply of cereals and pasta. And in the freezer are buns, like French buns, that can be baked in the oven instead of bread. Sometimes such fog descended on the island that planes from the mainland could not fly in and land. Accordingly, no one could fly away from the island. My friends, a couple from Riga, bought plane tickets from the island to Glasgow, and there they had a plane via Amsterdam to Riga. Fog covered the island, and the guys realized that tomorrow they might not fly away. They decided to take the ferry into the night. But before that, they went to the airport and tried to return the money for the plane tickets, because they were told by phone that there would be no flights in the next day. At the airport, they explained that they had two more planes after, to which they were told that the money would not be returned to them, and that the company would provide them with a flight, but .... when the weather improved.
36. On the island it is much easier to get a house from the government than on the mainland. It is enough to come to the municipality with suitcases and say that you have nowhere to live. It is also desirable that you be kicked out. If you have a job, everything is solved very quickly. Svetka's sister and her boyfriend got their house just like that.
37. Interesting and unusual for us, the system of re-registration of cars upon purchase. You look at the car, you give money, in the necessary column of the data sheet you write your address and sign it, after which you tear off the spine and leave. The previous owner sends the registration certificate to the department by mail, and you receive a new registration certificate by mail. It does not cost anything.
38. Local fish ship takes 5-6 hours. When only we work on weekends, everything is done for 2,5. The general manager always said on Saturdays and Sundays that if he had the opportunity, he would recruit everyone from the Baltics. And at those moments I thought that all these guys would be happy to live and work at home if we were given such an opportunity. But in our country, fishing quotas have been cut and almost all fish enterprises and the entire fishing fleet have been destroyed. They just need workers in England. After all, their factories are more important for Europe.
39. When I found a new job and told about it at the factory, everyone was shocked. It turned out that the county of Dorset is the place where a huge number of the local population dreams of living. Well, the salary promised to be twice as much, which of course could not but rejoice. In addition, I went to the factory for the production of premium superyachts with a worldwide reputation. So I packed a suitcase, a computer and bought a plane ticket.
40. Departure was delayed by 3 hours. I was sent through another city, so I missed the plane to Southampton, and as a result, the bus from Southampton and the train from Bormouth. I got on another plane to Southampton, the bus driver took me on an expired ticket, and at the station the machine printed out a ticket for me for another time. So I ended up in Poole.
41. The next day I went to the employment agency. It was half Polish. But only Poles spoke Polish there, and I had to communicate in English. Unfortunately, my English was still very far from perfect. At the fish factory, we did not communicate much, and the courses were once a week, and even then not always. All negotiations with the agency were conducted by my girlfriend, and the Englishman was shocked at how I got to them at all. On top of that, it was a completely different dialect. And if on the island I already understood the language quite well, then here I understood absolutely nothing. My CV remained the only trump card. I had a very good experience in fiberglass production, and the yachts that the factory produced were just the same from it. The agent said that with my knowledge of the language, most likely I would not be able to work at this plant. He said that he was going to call and if they agreed, then I would go to work. In principle, I was mentally ready to go back. But the agent returned and said that he was told that there were many Poles in the workshops, and if I understand Polish, then they would help me at first. I understood Polish. And the next day I had to go to a new job. The tattooed guy across from me helped me fill out the forms. It turned out that we were going to the same job. It was Thomas. He was from Scotland.
42. In the workshop we were supposed to go to, there was no work for us that day. And we were taken to another shipyard. She was huge. After a short safety briefing, we were taken to the workshop. There was nowhere to put my things, I was wearing jeans and shoes. I put paper overalls on top of my clothes and paper slips on my shoes. I was allowed to put my jacket and bag in the supervisor's office. There were no lockers here, like at a fish factory, in which personal belongings were stored and the locker was locked. Rather, they were. But only for those who worked under the contract. The one who worked through the agency during the probationary period was not supposed to do anything. Now I was ready to get to work. I immediately found two Poles, said that I was from the Baltics, and asked for help to get comfortable. They told me to watch what they were doing and repeat after them. Then I did not know that according to this scheme they arranged all of their own, even those who had no idea about this production. Former builders, doctors, musicians from Poland worked there. Who wasn't there! Although, of course, there were those who had worked in this specialty all their lives. By the end of the day, Thomas and I were told that tomorrow we should go to our factory. He offered to meet near the bridge in the morning and go to work together.
43. It is very good that we went together. There were only English people there. There was only one Pole, and when I asked him to help, he looked at me not very happy. Then, of course, we became friends, but at first he helped me with obvious discontent.
44. But none of the locals helped here. It was a survival school. They just told you: "Go and do it." No one said what materials to use, in what quantity and in what ratio. Plus there was a Dorset accent. And when the British saw that you did not understand them, they were terribly annoyed. They made faces, stuck out their tongues and made all sorts of obscene sounds. All this had to be endured. Because I needed this job and didn't want to go back to the island. What impressed me the most was the attitude towards work. The shape of the yacht's hull was all chipped, which no one paid attention to, and inside the yacht there was a lot of debris and traces of dirty boots, in which everyone climbed right inside. How much material and tools were thrown into the trash, it's just hard to describe. If we talk about technology, then it was a maximum of the 80s of the last century. Thomas was treated even worse than me. He was constantly teased because he was a Scot. Well, I got the same thing, because I came with him, and they thought that I was his friend. By the end of the week, Thomas offered to move me to the hotel where he lived. The hotel was several times cheaper than my hotel, and I moved to a room where the toilet and shower were shared and located on the floor. The room had an electric kettle, a washbasin, a plywood built-in wardrobe with a crossbar, painted white, and a small TV with 4 programs: BBC 1, BBC2, BBC3, and BBC4. The very first time I switched on, I got on a channel where political scientists in the studio discussed how emigrants from Poland and the Baltic states were taking away jobs from the English population. Then they showed a story from the London employment center. A young clerk in a suit and tie was giving an interview. Behind him was a huge hall, in which there were a lot of tables, at which a lot of people were sitting. Coffee and tea vending machines lined the walls. People played chess, read newspapers, drank coffee and talked among themselves. Almost all tables were occupied. The BBC correspondent asked the clerk:
- Who are these people?
- These are unemployed. - he reported.
- So you have no vacancies? - sounded the next question.
- What are you - said the clerk - we are inundated with vacancies.
“So why don't you give them to them?”
Answer killed on the spot: - So they do not know how !!! They have no qualifications !!!
45. I had to pay 100 pounds a week for a room. Later, they raised the price to 120. It was 45 minutes to walk to work, by bus 2 pounds one way. I had to walk. £100 a month for a bus was too much for me. In the morning, to get to work by 6:00, I had to get up at 4:40. In the evening, finishing at 18:00, I still had to go to the store. There was no refrigerator, so we had to buy groceries every day. At about half past seven I was at the hotel. To sleep at least 8 hours, it was necessary to go to bed at 20:40. Roughly speaking, for everything about everything, it was a little more than an hour. This is to wash, eat, collect food for work for tomorrow, and, if there is time left, chat with family and friends via Skype. Of course, it was possible to work from 8:00 to 16:15, as all the British did, but not only did the move cost fifteen hundred, I needed money for the coming months. After all, I had to rent an apartment. And here, in the south, this pleasure is not cheap.
46. All my food at that moment consisted of products that did not have to be cooked. Tea, biscuits, milk. I did not drink the coffee that lay on the table in the hotel. But on the other hand, I realized that instant Nescafe is drunk not only in Russia. Sometimes, I made sandwiches with sausage and cheese. The same thing I ate at work. I really wanted hot food, but it was expensive for me in pubs, there was nothing to cook in the hotel, and I sometimes went to Burger King and ate a burger with potatoes, All my life I hated fast food, but the food was warm and it pleased.
47. The first salary pleased. At that time, the plant was bursting with orders and we worked 12, and sometimes 14 hours a day. I still ate all sorts of nonsense. But on the day of the first paycheck, I really got drunk. Just took a bottle of fruit brandy and passed out. Fortunately, there were two days off ahead.
48. Thomas found another job. According to him in Italy. At the Ferrari factory. May be so. I don't know. He would have left anyway. This was prompted by constant conflicts with the British. The British really ate it. He went to the supervisor and said that they have racism in the factory. The panic began. Racism in England is a terrible thing. This is a criminal article. When you are hired, you sign a paper that you will be tolerant and respectful of representatives of a different race, nationality and sexual orientation. Actually, it's just paper. The English consider themselves to be the superior race, and the fact that they do not tell you this out loud does not mean that this cannot be shown by their actions and deeds. Thomas was immediately transferred to another workshop. Across the road. But even there he did not last long. When we walked home, he kept telling me that there are very angry and aggressive people here. And that he heard about it, but came face to face for the first time. To be honest, I felt the difference too. People in Scotland are more friendly and kind. Even to us. This was not the case here. When he left, Thomas left the microwave for me. He bought it for 40 pounds just before he left, and in the evenings he invited me to warm up some prepared food that we bought in the store. He asked for £10 for the microwave but I pushed him £20. It only worked for two days after all. The food in the microwave was disgusting, but at least it was hot. In general, the British are so lazy that the majority of people at home do not cook anything. The most popular establishments they have are fast food and take away (establishments with ready-made food), and the shelves with ready-made dishes for microwaves are simply immense in any store. I once read that the English don't have their own kitchen. Probably so. All their dishes are Chinese, Indian and Taiwanese cuisines. A huge amount of curry in any food after a while begins to cause a gag reflex. I very carefully selected my food for the evening, but for me there, really, only a few dishes were edible.
49. One evening, the hotel manager knocked on my room. In a couple of days, she said, the owner of the hotel comes to check. You can’t have anything in the room that says that you live here for more than three days. No pajamas, washed socks on the radiator, and no food. Lots of lemonade and cookies. Plus, no microwaves. It was a disaster. At first, I didn't even know what to do. But, on reflection, I found an option. My bed had a cape that hung down to the floor. Without thinking twice, I put the microwave under the bed, and put the products and most of the things there. The check went great. But I still left the microwave under the bed. Of course, it was not very convenient to heat food under the bed, but it was a way out. A little later, I learned that this hotel worked with my employment agency, and everyone who came from other cities, the agency settled there. The owner of the hotel, apparently, did not even guess that people live there for months, and it is not customary for them to come without warning. Most likely, the manager agreed with the agency without the knowledge of the owner. In addition, for the past 5 weeks, paying weekly for a room, I received a check only once.
50. There was a pub on the ground floor of the hotel. I used to go there sometimes to connect to the internet. The hotel router was so weak that the signal did not reach the second floor. In general, the Internet and mobile communications in England, this is a separate conversation. Every evening, a crowd of people gathered in the pub, but on weekdays, as a rule, everything was quiet and decent. The most interesting thing happened over the weekend. It all started on Friday. But it was the quietest day. People buzzed until late, but it was a weak rumble. There was live music on Saturday after 7pm, but on Saturday it was tolerable. After all, Sunday is ahead, and you can sleep at least all day. The most terrible began on Sunday. There was a feeling that this was the last day of their lives, and tomorrow the flood would begin. Therefore, the people came off in full. Visitors bawled until 2 am. Moreover, on one of the Sunday nights, at about 12 o’clock, everything suddenly calmed down, and screams were heard on the street. I looked out the window and saw people carrying a decently dressed, drunken body with no signs of life out of the pub. A few minutes later, the body tried to get up, but the attempts were in vain. Soon an ambulance arrived, loaded him into a car, and took him away. The rest returned to the pub and continued their fun until half past three in the morning. HOW? Explain to me how you can go to work the next day after this and do it within the framework of human norms?
51. After that, I stopped being surprised that inadequate people meet in our workshop in the mornings. With shining eyes, hanging snot, falling asleep, sitting down somewhere, and going in the opposite direction instead of where they were told. In addition, they mixed up materials and chemicals, and the foreman, who, like all of us, understood why this was happening, averted his eyes and tried to give them easier work. Well, so as not to spoil anything much. By the first break, these people, if you can call them that, came to their senses, and began to moan about how bad they feel. Rather, the end of the working day, to return home and lie down in bed. However, after lunch, apparently finally sober, they waited for the end of the working day even more. To get back to the pub as soon as possible.
52. In general, they moan all the time. Every morning starts with moans. If you ask how things are going, they say it's bad. That they had to get up early, that there was a lot of beer yesterday, that they went to bed late, that they were very sick. From time to time they drop the tool and run to the toilet to vomit. As a rule, these are the main causes of morning suffering. They count the hours and minutes until the end of the working day, and almost never stay for overtime. Overtime work only we.
53. Once at work I felt bad. It rarely happens to me. But apparently the food from the microwave has done its nefarious deed. I was terribly sick, and I said that I didn’t feel well. The British immediately said that it was not necessary to eat kebab. And then they let me go home. It was very nice to get out of the workshop and close my eyes from the sun. After all, I saw him only on breaks. In the morning he was not there yet, and in the evening he was not there. By the way, for the fact that I left in the middle of the day, some bonuses were removed from me.
54. Meanwhile, my friend, sitting on the island, was looking for options with an apartment. I don’t know how it is in the center of the mainland, but here in the south, it’s almost impossible to find housing right away. You come to work, you enter it, and naturally you need to live somewhere. It is impossible to get housing for rent through an agency. Because you don't have a permanent contract and you work as a temporary worker. Accordingly, you are not given a lease. All you can do is look for accommodation through private advertisements in newspapers or in Polish shops. They have a bulletin board and there are room offers. But even if you find something, you need to pay a deposit a few months in advance, and resign yourself to the fact that in the foreseeable future, for 70-80 pounds a week, you will find a shared kitchen, a shared shower and a shared toilet. And the room will be the size of a dog kennel. Based on the fact that a friend had two children, we needed a two-bedroom apartment. Firstly, there were four of us, and secondly, she wanted to apply for public housing. And everything is very simple there. If you deliberately rent a small area (and the minimum is stipulated in the issue with children), then you will not only be given nothing, but they will also be punished for fraud with the state. It is believed that you are doing this on purpose to get extra points and to raise your status in the housing queue. Among other things, there is another problem. Here, few people want to rent an apartment or house to a family with small children. According to their laws, small children cannot be put outside, even if their parents do not pay rent. Therefore, agencies and landlords (property owners), as a rule, refuse families where there are small children. They would rather let someone with a dog or cat. Because you can kick out with a dog or a cat, but not with children.
55. Nevertheless, Sveta looked for options on the Internet, called up, and it was my job to go and see the next option. One day, I had to see two apartments from one agent. Fortunately, it was not far to go, the apartments were in the same building, and in the evening I went to view. The agent arrived in a Range Rover. They all drive Range Rovers there. Real estate in the UK is good business. The prices are exorbitant, so no one is in poverty. Although for the most part, the apartments are very small and cramped. Before that, I did not understand at all how a two-room apartment could be less than 50 square meters. And there are most of them. The agent showed me two apartments, each with only one bedroom. They were in the same house, and both were on the top floor under a roof. I even find it difficult to name their area. In my opinion, 20 meters. In general, they have a lot of such small rooms and apartments with sloping ceilings, where entering the room, you have to bow your head to one side. Most of them are in terrible condition. The owners of houses divide them into countless separate rooms in order to squeeze the maximum profit from the rent. I saw rooms where only a table, a wardrobe and a bed were placed. Moreover, the bed was already under the sloping ceiling, and it was even problematic to sit on it normally without hitting your head. In general, I looked at what they showed me, and I didn’t even have comments. Not to mention the price. But I was especially impressed by the heating boilers. In both apartments, they stood in the bedroom, and on the floor. Apparently those who put them, set them as it was more convenient for them to work. To be honest, I can't imagine how one can sleep with a heating boiler in the same room, and I can't imagine how one can live there with a small child. After all, the boiler is the first place where he climbs. I asked the agent how about apartments with gas heating, because gas is much cheaper than electricity. If you pay 30-40 pounds a month for gas in winter, then bills for electric heating reach 200. He asked where I was from, and when he heard the answer, he told me that in Scotland, from where I came, the situation really looks like this. But in England, just the opposite, electricity is much cheaper than gas. He lied to my eyes. In general, I refused. A couple of days later, Sveta found another option. Closer to work, with a yard, parking space, gas heating and two bedrooms for £600 a month plus bills. The bills were plus about two hundred more. Self-government tax, internet, water, electricity and gas. The apartment was 40 meters, maybe less. Looking at the size of our bedroom, I caught myself thinking that in my last rented apartment in Latvia I had such a kitchen.
56. Only later, after some time, she told me what it cost her to get this apartment. How much she listened to reproaches for her poor English, although she was very good at it, how many times the agents did not pick up the phone, how many times they promised to call or write back and did not do it, it's simply indescribable. As for myself, I knew only one thing, that while she was fighting with them, I went to the second month in the hotel. The agency has been preparing the contract for a whole month. First, they demanded a deposit for one month from us, then for two, then they asked for a financial guarantor, then they checked us through some company. After that, I was given an act of reconciliation of the condition of the apartment, where all the scratches were rewritten. I had to fill it out, supplement it if there were more defects, and bring it back to them for signature. For two days I did it with the help of my Lithuanian friends, but no one came to check what we had added. And then, several times they invited me for the keys, and each time they did not give them, talking about how they understand my difficult situation, and promising that I would leave the hotel and move into their wonderful apartment. I refused overtime, ran to the agency, and every time I realized that again I didn’t earn money, I didn’t get the keys. But, finally, a significant day came when the agency said that today was for sure. The woman co-owner of the company told me to come after work, and her partner would give me the keys after signing the contract. I arrived at the appointed time, just in case, taking with me a Lithuanian who spoke good English and volunteered to help me. A solidly dressed partner was alone in the office. When we walked in, he asked who we were and why we didn't make an appointment. They say he has an important meeting, and he can't waste time on us. We said that we were actually assigned, and we did not understand his reaction. An important gentleman, with a displeased look, began to pick through the papers and look for an agreement that I had to sign. There was no agreement. Apparently they forgot to prepare it. He started copying a blank of the contract on a copier, but then the cartridge ran out. During the conversation, I apologized for my poor English, to which I received a sharp answer that in any case his Polish is worse than my English. I said that I am not a Pole. To which he asked where I was from, and hearing the name of the country, asked where it was. Apparently, he did not know where the Baltic Sea was located, so he was satisfied that it was a former republic of the Soviet Union. In general, later I very often came across the fact that when they say Latvia, the British ask whether it is far from Poland. I signed the papers and received the keys. It was a moment of happiness. I rushed to the supermarket and bought everything I could. Starting with food and ending with pans and pots. My God, what a delicious bacon and eggs fried in a normal kitchen!!!
57. Meanwhile, work was in full swing at the plant. Orders were in abundance. The London Boat Show has just ended. The plant worked 24 hours a day. We worked hard from 6 am to 6 pm. And at 6 pm the night shift came and worked until 6 am. Fortunately, now the apartment was closer than the hotel, and it only took 25 minutes to get to work. Therefore, it was possible to sleep a little longer. And there was also a normal shower, a wide bed and a refrigerator with normal food.
58. My foreman, his name was Eric, asked me for the third time where I came from and where I worked before. Hearing for the third time the answer "from the Shetland Islands from the fish factory," for the third time he was sincerely surprised and nodded his head sympathetically. Looks like a decent guy. Only 35 years old ... Older workers openly mocked him. At first, I didn't understand why. Then I understood. When he went to the warehouse for something, on the way he forgot what he was after. He worked with the same model yacht for several years, and could not remember the simplest things. Every time he was asked the type of material used, or the dimensions of the part, he went to look at the drawings. Even if it was the only part in the hull, he couldn't remember its technological map. In comparison, it took me only two months to memorize the main production parameters of our model. Over time, new employees stopped going to him with questions, and began to contact me. Because I didn't have to wait. Eric was very offended at first, but then he realized that now he can walk around the shop even more, and we began to see him even less often. Sometimes in the morning, he could simply not come to work, and not appear for another week and a half. He almost never left for overtime. During the year of my stay at the plant, he worked with us only four times. And, frankly, it would be better if he did not work. After all, redoing something for someone is always harder than doing it from scratch. In general, he disappeared all the time, and we were looking for him in order to get to the warehouse for tools and materials. It all ended with the fact that we made a duplicate of the key to the warehouse, and quietly went there for everything we needed. We did not have time to look for him in the corners and toilets. We had to work. One morning the supervisor came into the shop and asked:
- Eric today there? (it was not already the 4 of the day).
We asked jokingly:
- And who is it?
The supervisor sighed, laughed, and left. I think Eric was a relative from the office. Because he was never told anything that he would not get up.
59. Only another brigadier was cooler than him. When he filled out working documents, which, by the way, there were an insane amount of in the workshop, he wrote the word “bot” instead of “boat” (ship), and copied the name of our company from the logo on his work jacket.
60. In general, there were a lot of incomprehensible people in the company. There was one Englishman. William. Small and red. He constantly came to check our branch. Sometimes he spoke at rallies and said that we should work well and throw certain garbage into certain baskets, depending on their coloring. There was nothing more he could say. The rest of the time he walked around the workshop, and frightened everyone with his gaze through large square glasses. Everyone tried to avoid him. It was the boss. One day I asked who he was. I was told that a former simple worker, just his dad, once sat in the head office. And then, he also got into the office. Because he went to the same church with the head of the enterprise's personnel. And then William disappeared. We later learned that he left to work for another company. HR manager. There he was offered 60 thousand pounds a year, against 50 at our enterprise. I immediately remembered the fish factory. There, too, everyone arranged warm places for their friends and relatives. Mental and professional qualities, in this case, did not matter.
61. In the first few months, a lot of new people came. Then there was a constant recruitment through the agency. After me, another 8 people came. Of them, there was only one Pole. When he arrived, he was shocked by the mess and outdated technology. He did not understand why at such a well-known enterprise, everything is still done by hand. Even at his small factory in Poland, everything was much more modern and better organized. And then he drank himself, and one fine day, he simply did not come again. The rest were local. Of these, only one survived. And that, only because he had an experience of 17 years. There was another Englishman in age. He did everything disgustingly and he was thrown to another shipyard. The rest were young people. They lasted the least.
62. We had another interesting friend from the locals. His name was Jack. He arrived at work in 40 minutes. True, until he received a contract. Then he began to arrive 5 minutes before the start of the working day. He had a green minibus, which he crashed from time to time. Jack never said what happened, but then I realized when he put it near my house. When he returned a few hours later, he could hardly stand on his feet. All this time, Jack sat in the pub. And he left the bus far away because if the owner of the pub sees that the driver got behind the wheel drunk, he is obliged to call the police. Since the bus was far away and the owner of the pub could not see anything, Jack got behind the wheel and calmly drove home. The police repeatedly caught him, took away the bus, put him under arrest, wrote out huge fines, but this was not a reason to stop drinking. Every evening, he regularly drank two liters of cider. And during the weekend, all this, in addition, was well flavored with beer and wine. It was amazing, but he was the only Englishman who stayed in overtime all the time. His compatriots disliked him for this, and called him a fucking masochist (fucking masochist). Just before leaving, I found out that this masochist worked not because he loved work, but because he had thousands of fines for drunk driving, and he had to pay them off. Having a large salary, he always walked like a ragamuffin, and he simply never had money. When his license was finally taken away, he was already working the night shift at another shipyard. Now, in the evening, he began to drink only a liter of cider. And after that, I went to work. And if before, he drank after work, now it turned out before. He was 51 years old. True, he looked 60. In England, in general, many people look older than their age. I think it has to do with constant alcohol and constant smoking. There was a case when I was asked for a document when buying strong alcohol. It can be bought there after 25 years. I laughed, but I was pleased to realize that by their standards, in my 40s, I look 25. One day Jack and I worked together. And we had to cut into three parts, 6 pieces of glass mat for each. Jack thoughtfully said: "three parts ... 6 pieces each .... this will be 21." And started cutting. I said nothing. But what was his surprise when we did everything and there were three pieces left!!!! At that moment, I remembered Kevin from the fish factory. And I realized that with mathematics they have a very difficult time for everyone. Even those who do not have a certificate.
63. Finally, a friend arrived. She brought all our things, and normal dishes and linen appeared in the house. She immediately became acquainted with a neighbor from the lower floor. An Englishwoman who lived with her son and was considered a single mother, despite the fact that her boyfriend visited her regularly. A couple of months later, a neighbor's car disappeared, which had always stood next to ours. When we asked where he was, it turned out that the car was impounded, and in the coming year, she would not need it. Because she was banned for a year for drunk driving. Apparently the owner of the pub managed to call the police. Very soon, Sveta began, from time to time, to treat her neighbor with our food, which is completely uncharacteristic for England. Fortunately, both I and she cooked well. Many of us say that the British do not eat what we eat. It is not true. They eat, and how, but only when you give them it all hot and on a plate. They also praise. The neighbor always said that we should open our own restaurant. And once, when I made fried sauerkraut with boiled potatoes and a baked pork leg, her boyfriend ate everything on the plate while she went for a second fork. The most exotic dish for her was fried mushrooms. She did not understand how it was possible to go to the forest, collect wild mushrooms and cook them so yummy. If you are talking about mushrooms in the UK, you always need to add the word normal to the word mushrooms (mushrooms), otherwise your interlocutor will think that we are talking about hallucinogenic mushrooms that drug addicts constantly eat, and will think that you are doing the same.
64. Upon the arrival of a friend, we hit the thought of our own business. I really did not want to go to the factory, and I wanted to earn more. We carefully studied the market and realized that there is a direction that amazingly falls under local characteristics, and most importantly, there is no such thing here. Food business. What could be better than fried potatoes for the local population? It is eaten here in large quantities. In Latvia, we have seen more than once a spiral potato on a stick, deep-fried. In England, there was only one firm doing this, and that far beyond London. Eat! We thought. We'll just make it even smarter. We will make our point mobile. And we can always be in the center of any holiday. They didn't have enough money to get started. Registration for a small business and certificates for working with products could be obtained here without leaving home. I also had to go to the local government and get permission to trade. Sveta went to self-government. She told our idea, showed pictures, and the English official was indescribably delighted:
- What are you great! - she said. - Our county welcomes everything new and interesting. This we really do not have.
In the bank, our idea was also liked by the loan manager. There was only one formality - a business plan. In England, a business plan is a brief description of what you want to do. You yourself can write these a couple of sheets, and count a few basic figures on the calculator. The business plan was made in one evening, and he struck down a bank employee on the spot. Affordable price, brilliant idea, 400% profitability. Plus, my permanent contract with the plant, fully guaranteed loan repayment. Expenses, incomes, and even taxes were calculated to a penny.
- Who did this? the manager asked.
- My partner - Svetlana answered.
- What did he finish?
- Nothing. Just a lifetime engaged in business.
- This is a brilliant business plan !!! - she summed up the conversation - We have these for the year can be counted on the fingers.
We were promised to call back in three days. The answer was unexpected.
- You are denied.
Of course, they had every right not to explain the reasons for the refusal. On the one hand it was insulting. And on the other, we were pleased. Because after a few days, they wrote to us from the local government that we would not have been able to trade "from the wheel". All they could do for us was to rent our stalls on the beaches. And on the bus, we did not have the right to approach the beaches. In this situation, the whole idea lost its meaning, because we planned to work ourselves. And in the stalls it was necessary to plant people, pay them wages, and rent to self-government. And this is not penny expenses.
Later, the Poles explained to me that we were not given a loan because we have been in England for just a year and a half. In reality, you can get something there only in years through 5 or 6, provided that you work and do not sit on the manual.
65. An absolutely amazing person lived behind a neighboring fence. I still don't know what his name is. When he was sitting outside lighting a marijuana joint, I always wanted to jump out the window. There was nothing to breathe in the house, and it was quite difficult for the children to explain why it smelled so unbearably. Apparently, the wind rose was located in such a way that all the smoke went towards us. The neighbor lived all the time in the garage, which was converted into a living space, and its inner wall, which overlooked the patio, was completely made of double-glazed windows. Because of this, we could see what he was doing there. It was a young English family man. His wife with a small child lived in the house, and he only went there to spend the night. The rest of the time he fulfilled himself in the garage. The first thing he did in it was equipping a wall for bouldering (climbing the wall). After some time, apparently having mastered it, he installed the same panels on the ceiling. And after another smoke, he climbed up and hung on the ceiling, like an Australian sloth. A little later, I heard some sounds from the garage. Looking over the fence from the second floor, I saw that he and his friend brought drums and guitars from somewhere, and now they are beginning to comprehend all the beauty and power of musical art. They strummed and thumped, eliciting an eerie howl from the musical instruments. This went on for almost a week. But soon, apparently resigned to failure, they abandoned this idea, and the tools disappeared without a trace. The next project was the gym. In just a couple of hours, the entire garage was lined with exercise equipment, pears were hung from the ceiling, and now, in the evenings, the young man squeezed the barbell, shook his triceps, and then beat the bag for a long time. It all culminated in the roar of a running boat engine. They dragged it from somewhere, brought an empty dumpster from the street, poured water into it and spent half a day trying to start it. Eventually the engine started up. With a sense of accomplishment, they drowned it out, laid it on the ground, covered it with a rag and left it to lie for the whole winter. Looking at this, I always thought, okay, you don't take care of your family at all, it's your business, but who pays for this whole banquet? After all, looking at you, coming in clothes stained with paint, I understand that you are some kind of simple hard worker who can only buy all this on credit. And most likely, all this cost much more than I asked at the bank for my business. I'm just a stranger here.
66. By the way, there are a lot of hard workers walking around the streets in paint-stained clothes and shoes. They do not change from clean to work in the morning when they arrive at work, and from work to clean at the end of the working day. And in the morning and in the evening in dirty work clothes, they go out and sit in the city bus, car or bike. At first I didn't understand how it was possible. And then I understood. This is laziness, terry laziness, and, perhaps, partly the lack of proper education. Personally, I always had the strength and desire to change clothes and go home in human form.
67. Three months of testing have passed, and I froze in anticipation of a contract. There were no complaints about me, so there was every chance to get it. The Lithuanian finisher, who arrived later than me, has already received the contract. Finishers are a constant problem. They have finer workmanship and a good finisher is always hard to find. Well, in this area, they are difficult to find in principle. I was given a contract a month late. I do not know why. The supervisor explained this by saying that four supervisors would have to sign my contract. Three signed, and the fourth was away somewhere. Probably rested, what else to do ...
68. After some time, the Lithuanian finisher broke up with his girlfriend and found himself another. But she lived very far away. In Boston. In general, this is probably the center of the Lithuanian diaspora in the UK. What he told me upon his return was simply amazing. In general, he himself was quite impressed, because he lived all the time in the south, and in the south the situation is completely different. Compared to other regions, we have very few Balts here. Mostly Poles, and a few others. And in Boston, he saw a whole Lithuanian settlement. The first thing that surprised him was the number of strong bald guys in tracksuits, with gold chains around their necks, driving around the area in BMWs. According to him, he could not leave the feeling that he returned home to Lithuania, where you walk down the street, and at any moment your money and mobile phone can be taken away. There were also people wandering around collecting bottles and aluminum beer cans. The last straw was the moment when they were sitting with a girl in a cafe. Some ragamuffin entered it, who, having heard the Lithuanian speech, went up to their table and asked:
- Tell me, are you from Lithuania?
After receiving an affirmative answer, he fell to his knees, and kissing the hands of my friend, began to lament, as he was glad to see fellow countrymen, and began to ask for food. The Lithuanian returned in shock. He did not expect to see anything like it. According to him, such a density of homeless people per square kilometer, he did not even see in Lithuania.
69. Meanwhile, at the next rally, which necessarily took place every Friday, our supervisor announced that the company would pay for college tuition for anyone wishing to purchase NVQ. This is a national vocational qualification. In general, it is very good to have such a piece of paper. Depending on the category, you can claim a higher salary with it, and work with composite materials in the aerospace and military industries. The proposal was met with the roar of indignation. The oldest workers began to resent that some amateur theoretical theorists from the college would train great masters who had worked in this specialty all their lives. I was surprised, but the Lithuanian, who was standing next to me, said that they simply could not read and write and did not want to screw it up. The overwhelming majority of local people snorted, and stated that they didn’t need it, and I agreed, because it was offered to everyone, despite poor knowledge of the language. In the most difficult cases, language courses were promised at the expense of the company. A little later, on reflection, I told my brigadier that I probably wouldn't pull my studies. I received the answer that the main thing is not the language, but the fact that I know my work very well. Moreover, it is not necessary to go to college, everything will happen in the workplace, during working hours. People from college will just stand by, take pictures and ask questions. And you will have to work and explain what you are doing, and why this is so. As a last resort, he said, you can always go to any of the team and he will help you explain or write what you need. “Okay,” I said. And the day of the preliminary test. We were all summoned to the dining room, and distributed four tasks. Two in mathematics and two in language. Apparently, college teachers wanted to make sure that future students can read, write, and add double-digit numbers. I could use the translator on the phone. I do not know for what class these tasks were, but I solved them in a matter of minutes. The rest of them were somehow delayed. The language was more difficult, but there I did almost everything. But the most surprising thing was that I passed my papers at the same time with many Englishmen. It was not clear to me how such simple tasks could be done for so long, besides in my native language. After the tests, we were given thick black stationery folders, in which there was nothing but color inserts. The teacher raised the same one over her head and said that we would be the same. There will be detailed phased descriptions, and photos of all technological processes. Actually, there were 70-80 sheets. I even somehow cringe. Nothing, said the brigadier. They themselves will write and photograph everything. You will only have to show that you can do it. And then there were two more classes. Completely different people arrived, sat us in the dining room and began to ask a lot of questions. It was necessary to first describe in detail some process orally, and then put it all on paper. These were already tasks that I, naturally, could not do. I was given some kind of yellow piece of paper on which the conclusion was written that I needed additional classes in English. Nobody went to the shop, and no one photographed anything. We were offered to photograph ourselves, but given the fact that we have hands all the time in sticky resin, this was not possible. Therefore, one by one, everyone started to refuse. Before the third lesson, I also went to the supervisor, and said that it was too difficult for me.
70. There was another bright personality in our team. This is Steven. He constantly had a red face because he was constantly drinking. No matter how much he earned, he never had money. One Tuesday, he started yelling wildly, jumping around the ship like a monkey, and slapping his behind with his hands. I asked what was going on, to which I received a response from a colleague:
“He has no money for cigarettes.” And when he doesn’t smoke, he has a roof .- When Stephen had cigarettes, he constantly started to smoke during working hours. But one day he forgot that we had cameras installed and got caught. A disciplinary sanction, of course, was not the worst punishment for him, but the most surprising thing was that a couple of weeks after this incident, he was appointed fire marshall (fire inspector) because the previous one was transferred to another shipyard. After some time he was also transferred to another shipyard. The supervisor is tired of being recorded for overtime and Saturdays, and never comes to them.
71. There was a day when a distinct smell of marijuana appeared throughout the workshop. Someone quietly went out to smoke and hid in a cold warehouse. Apparently, the comrade did not know that the intake of the main fan, which pumped fresh air into the workshop, was located directly above his head. Everyone in the shop looked at each other and laughed. The brigadier also laughed with us.
72. In order to keep the yacht clean and free of debris from the soles of the boots between the fiberglass layers, blue protective rubber overshoes must be worn on work shoes before entering it. And when you go out, they must be removed and put on a special shelf, which is located at the gangway. Many Englishmen put these overshoes on work shoes in the morning at the locker with clothes, and took them off there in the evening, or only when they changed for new ones. They walked around the shop in them, went to the toilet, to the dining room and even went out into the street. And when they went home, they took off their work shoes along with galoshes. And she just stood by their lockers. In my opinion, they did not understand the purpose of these galoshes. Or maybe they thought it was to keep their work shoes clean.
73. One morning, when it was necessary to throw out the garbage, I was already waving over the wastebasket, but suddenly I saw a blue-red British union jack (British state flag) and two red-white flags of England at its bottom. I hesitated. The foreman was standing nearby, and I called him.
“Listen,” I said, “I don't think this is very good.” After all, this is the national flag. Plus two flags of England.
- So what? - He said, - There are no football fans here.
I threw the garbage in another basket. At this moment a Lithuanian approached me.
- What's new? - he asked.
I silently showed him the finger in the trash.
- No x ... myself! - he said, - How so?
I told him that I, too, did not understand how it could be. We agreed that this is not done in our countries. Again the brigadier approached.
- What bothers you so much? - he asked.
We said that the flag is a state symbol, and we treat such things with respect, no matter what country it is in.
“C'mon,” he laughed, and went to the warehouse.
- What do we do? - I asked the Lithuanian.
He went to the office of the supervisor and said that we could not work, because we could not throw garbage at the national flag of Great Britain. The supervisor was taken aback at first, then told to remove the flags from the trash bin and bring it to his office. What was done. A few hours later, apparently having received the appropriate instructions, the brigadier seized the moment, and again spoke to me on the theme of state symbolism.
“So why did you react like that?” - he asked.
I once again explained to him that there is a concept of state symbols, and that we are accustomed to take this seriously and with respect. After that, a long lecture began that nothing really terrible had happened. That Great Britain is a very democratic country, that in the end, no one burned these flags and nobody outraged them, and that one shouldn’t even bother about it. He told me that if we were located north of London, then there are areas in which two nationalist parties won, and that there could even be a face for such a thing. And the south is so tolerant that even no one will pay attention to it here. In general, he pretended that he cleared my brains, and I pretended that I understood everything. On that and went. And then in the store, I saw rugs that lay in front of the entrance doors to wipe my feet. They were in the form of the flag of Great Britain. After that, I was not surprised at anything.
74.All more or less intelligent craftsmen from local to workshop are people of pre-retirement age. There are almost no young people. In reality, there is no one to replace these masters. The only replacement is us. Emigrants Or as they say fucking immigrants (fucking immigrants).
75. A former Lithuanian girl who worked in a hotel said that the Englishwoman’s boss complained that because of Balts and Poles, her son, after graduating from school, could not find work for 7 years. Our people, the Lithuanian woman answered her, come and find work during the week.
76.Polyak, who worked with me, several years ago injured his leg in another factory. The injury was so serious that he kept his leg in a cast for 9 months. He sued the company 50 thousands of pounds, but for some time, up to this point, had no income. The state gave him an apartment in a social house and a benefit. There were three more apartments in the house. In one lived a social family with a bunch of children, in the other some drunks, and in the third there lived an Englishman who had been unemployed for 20 for years and lived solely on welfare. He slept until one o'clock in the afternoon, then went to be noted on the exchange. He called her not a job center (job center) but a joke center (comic center). On the way back, he bought a couple of cans of beer, a cant of marijuana, and went home to watch TV. When you enter the local government, where benefits and benefits are calculated, a poster hangs at the entrance: “We invest in people”. Involuntarily you begin to wonder in whom they, in the bulk, invest.
77.Litevets told how you can sit on the manual for years. The main thing to work a year. Then it is necessary for you. Then you can become unemployed and go to the exchange. You start paying. And you are waiting for job offers. When they give you a referral for an interview, you take it, come to the employing company, and pretend to be a complete moron. Naturally, they tell you that you are not suitable. You say:
- Ok, but please write this on the direction.
After that, go back to the exchange, and show them the inscription on the direction of the interview. Next time you do the same. The exchange continues to pay benefits and look for a job for you. He said that one of his friends gets a thousand a month and has been living for four years already. Litovka plow in a hotel for a thousand a month, sometimes cleaning up to 50 numbers per day.
78.At the factory issued an order not to use knives with locking blades. We were shown a knife, with a retractable blade, which must be kept all the time, otherwise it drops back into the handle. Absolutely not adapted for our work design. Apparently the one who promoted them to the company did not represent the nature of the work. But they still began to buy. Apparently they were supplied by someone's relative.
79. After the summer vacation, we realized that we had no orders. All scattered in other shipyards. I first got to 5 shipyard. I worked there for a week. I was assigned to a Pole who had worked there for a very long time. He always said that I slow down the pace of work. This is all despite the fact that so, there was basically nothing to do. It was a painful week, because there was no place to hide there, but there was nothing to do. One morning, we sat for an hour and rubbed with sandpaper the same place on the deck. Actually, what we did here in a day could be done in an hour. Here I first saw a queue in the toilet. Later I understood why. When I asked the Pole what else to do, he said that if I have internet in my phone, then I need to go to the toilet for 20 minutes. And there were a lot of sufferers there. As for himself, he went there every hour. Their brigadier approached me and asked why I was not doing anything. I replied that I had nothing to do and asked for a job. He told me "if there is no work, look busy". That means taking a broom and sweeping the floor. The main thing is to take a broom. Because the broomstick is small, and there are a lot of workers who have nothing to do. Then there was a rally. Looking at the huge workshop, it seemed to me that the maximum 20 man worked there. But when the rally was announced, another 40 man got out of some kind of cracks, and a huge crowd gathered. The supervisor mumbled something unintelligible, everyone applauded and went to break. Then there was the shipyard 2, where they make the largest production models, the length of 40 meters. Everything was very strict there. Perhaps this is the only place in the company where there is at least some order. But even there, everyone works very slowly. I was given a full-day job that could be completed in 40 minutes. And I painfully stretched her. I also met a Lithuanian who lived in England for 12 years, of which 6 was in Pula. When I told him that here in the south is quiet and calm, not like in Manchester, where you can get a baseball bat on the head, if you speak with an accent, he asked me if I went to clubs and discos here. I said no. He laughed and said:
- And you go. This is certainly not Manchester, but you can snatch it here.
Then there was the shipyard 4. On it, at this time, did the largest composite yacht in the world by the individual order. And only the British worked here. I had to glue the inside of the fuel tanks. It was a terrible job. You climb through a small hatch inside a huge, but very small in height container, and crawl there like a worm through holes in partitions. Huge fans blow from above, there is a mask on the face, and from the lighting there are several paws of daylight. Let's just say the place is not for those who are claustrophobic. This yacht was announced at the beginning of the year, but the summer was already ending, and she still stood without the upper deck, not to mention the equipment and interior decoration. We were given a huge amount of overtime, because time was running out already. When I was transferred to another shipyard, the brigadier thanked me for the work, and said that he was holding his fingers with a cross to get me back. Fingers cross, it's like we keep fists. And he kept them for one simple reason. Because I worked very quickly and well, and time had to be caught up. Then there was the shipyard 3. There I made forms with the Poles. And then they returned me to my factory. The scattering of people made it possible for the supervisor to filter out a certain number of idlers. They simply did not call back. And of those who returned, a team was formed, which together with six people, easily performed what nine people had done before. True, there were only two Englishmen now. In addition to them, there were three Poles, and me. At the same time, expelled all those who worked through the agency. These were those who had a temporary contract and worked on a test period. Some of them have been working for 5 for months instead of three. All said goodbye. A week later, they took it back. For a new verification period. This is very beneficial for the company. Because the contractor to expel hard. A temporary worker can be expelled at any time without giving a reason. They are simply told that they may not come tomorrow.
80. But the most outstanding person on our team was Paul. This is the youngest and most memorable Englishman. He was 27 for years, and every night he went to the pub to drink 3-4 pints of beer. The British, among themselves, called him fucking alcoholic (fucking alcoholic). When one day in the process of work, a conversation began about who had some religion, Paul said: “My church is a pub, my God is alcohol” (“My church is a pub, my God is alcohol”). During the work, he always screamed some cries, similar to the baboon’s cries, sang in a bad voice to the singers on the radio, but the most interesting thing was that when he started a song that he liked a lot, he apologized, said that this was his favorite song, he put tool on the floor, and started out like a dog, fucking the nearest jutting corner of the hull of the yacht. Apparently, positive emotions from listening to the song were associated with sex. Later, in addition to songs, he began to fuck the details of the ship that were to be made. If he was given something to laminate, for example, to glue the resonator of the muffler, he first fucked him, then began to do it. Also, he constantly fucked stringers and motor foundations, before starting to work with them. Our neighbor had two golden retrievers. Bitch who was 8 years old and male, who was 4. From time to time the bitch climbed onto the dog and began to rape him. As a joke, we asked the neighbor what she was doing, and she very seriously explained to us that in this way she showed her superiority and that she dominated him. I think that in Paul this was also somehow connected with the manifestation of superiority over the details of the ship. One day we were standing with him near the yacht in the workshop, and Paul, deep in thought, told me:
- I guess I need to go to the doctor. It seems to me that I have something wrong with my head ...
In spite of everything, the foreman constantly consulted with him in technical matters, and believed that he was the most intelligent and responsible employee in our team.
81. Interesting fact. If you have done a good job well, then it will automatically be dumped only on you in the future. For example, it is very difficult, before painting a form, to stick four strips of paper tape along the entire length of the sides of a twenty-meter yacht exactly on it. This is done when in order, a case of several colors. Many specially glue the tape crookedly, so that they are no longer forced to do it. I foolishly stuck well. The brigadier patted me on the shoulder and said:
- Well done. Now you will do it always.
It turns out that it is easier to pretend to be a fool, and then you will do only simple and easy work.
82. In general, the British, basically, only 40 hours work. It is extremely rare that they remain on overtime. A lot of work is unprofitable. The state’s family security threshold, a little more than 30 thousands. If you earn less than 17 thousand a year, the state pays you the difference. If you exceed the income level in 17 thousand per year, you are no longer paid benefits and benefits. That is, work is not profitable. With the condition that the locals, as a rule, live in their homes, this money is enough for them. Plus, the state pays them as poor, they have free medicine and much more. And we pay crazy rent for housing, high insurance, and therefore have to work a lot.
83. During the working day, everyone who has an Internet connection on the phone constantly gets into it and checks their chats. One day, the teams were divided, and we did something with the Poles all day. And the British, all day, sat, chatted with the brigadier and played with the phones. When the main working hours were over, the locals went home, and we were offered to stay and do their work, which they did not even begin. It turns out tomorrow, according to the schedule, it was necessary to remove the hull of the ship from the mold. The Poles and I exchanged glances and said that we could not stay. In the end, how much could it endure? Then the supervisor asked, maybe we can go out in the morning 6? That is, 2 hours before the main time. We looked at each other again and said that we could not. Then a panic began. We were persuaded, asked, but we stood our ground. The supervisor, with great difficulty, persuaded two British to remain. But they still did nothing. Because, as a rule, no one is left for overtime from the manual, so you can just sit in the ship. We deliberately moved the schedule so that they felt that most of the work at the plant was up to us. The effect lasted no more than a day. Then they began to take our recycling for granted again.
84. One of the Poles, who worked for us at the shipyard 3, said that there he worked all the time during the night shift. There were never supervisors and foremen at night. Workers simply left a list of what needs to be done overnight, and the bosses went home. Night lads somehow, for several hours, quickly did what they wrote, and then dragged the laptop into the closed bow compartment of the yacht, where there was no camera access, and watched movies until the morning. And someone just slept. One day, he came and said that the bank gave him a loan to buy an apartment. A small two-room apartment in an industrial area, he bought thousands of pounds for 115. He had to pay 24 for 585 pounds per month. The total amount of the total, out almost 170 thousand excluding accounts. He sighed, and said that it was better than paying 1000 pounds a month to rent the same two-room apartment, and give money to nowhere.
85. An interesting case was in the bank. Sveta read on the forum that the Lloyd's debit card, before leaving the UK, you need to activate the country to which you are going. To do this, go to the bank, and ask for the activation with the country, date of departure and date of return back. Three times I went to Latvia, and all three times we went to the bank for this service. Each time, the bank employees asked to show a card, enter something into the computer, check our address, drive in the country, date and smile politely. For the fourth time, the senior manager made big eyes and told us:
- Why do you need to open access? You have a green card. She works around the world. If you had a gray one, then it has a limited coverage area. Only UK. And now it needs to be activated before going abroad. And you, I do not understand why go here.
Now, attention question. All previous bank employees did not know about it? Or they do not distinguish colors?
86. What absolutely kills outright is the quality of mobile communication and the Internet. It is very hard to get a phone call, they also dial you up with difficulty, the Internet works with constant interruptions. If you speak via Skype with a video, during a half-hour conversation, the router has to be rebooted three or four times. At the same time, we paid 24 pounds per month for the Internet, and the mobile connection, despite the fact that we didn’t speak much, and sometimes called to Riga, less than 40-50 pounds for one number never went out.
87. One night there was a very strong wind, and in the morning, going to work, I found a fallen section of the fence in the yard. Now we had a passage to the neighbor's yard, and the gate was twisted and at one corner lay on the ground. In connection with the bias, the gate opened and closed with great difficulty. Since the agency should deal with these matters, we photographed the accident and sent them an e-mail with photos and a letter. The repairman drove a week and a half. Neighboring cats and dogs had an excellent opportunity to walk in our yard, and we waited. Then he arrived. What he did, I do not know, because I was at work, but after a while the section fell off again, and the gate was not opened again or closed. I swore, took my instrument, screwed the section into place, inserted a spacer into the gate, and it all worked. And, by the way, it works to this day. It was a moment of truth. I realized that the majority of the local population can not do anything. Neither build a quality ship, nor pack fish, nor repair the fence. Sometimes they even call an electrician to change a light bulb in a lamp.
88.And then, in the morning snow fell. It was a 5 or 7 sanitimeter. And it melted in two hours. But he paralyzed the whole city. Schools did not work, half of the English did not come to work, and courier mail did not deliver parcels all day. The supervisor allowed to take half a day off for those who go home far. All the locals were very happy, because it was another reason not to work.
89. Despite the fact that at the plant, everyone already treated me very friendly, from time to time I found on my table in the dining room a banana peel and other garbage that was thrown on or under my table. Apparently this was done on the sly, until no one saw. However, someone did it. And the one who did this knew that it was my table, and it may well be that he even smiled in my workshop and shook his hand in the morning.
90. One of the Poles had a hand injury. It has long been somewhere else damaged. The injury was on the wrist, and over time the hand began to hurt very much. It became harder for him to work, and he decided to make an appointment with a doctor. This is the type of our family doctor. He signed up and went. Having received no intelligible answer, he signed up for another doctor. Also family. He sent him on an x-ray. The turn on the x-ray was about two weeks. After an X-ray, he again went to this doctor. He looked at the x-ray and said he needed an orthopedist.
- Go home, we will call you back and say when you can come to the orthopedist.
Two weeks passed. Pole could not resist and went again.
- Well, sit at home. - told him - We told you that we would call.
- So how much longer do I have to sit, and who will pay me my salary? - he asked.
- Do not know. - answered him, - But we can write you a hospital for another couple of weeks.
He went to work in a rage. Those words and interjections that he used, I will not give here. It all ended with the fact that he said that he would go to do the operation in Poland. Because here, probably, you will die rather than cure you. My friend from Riga, when his tooth ached, went to the dentist and asked to remove it. The doctor said that you need to do an x-ray. There was no X-ray in this clinic. The guy was sent to another. There it was necessary to wait about two weeks. He spat, poured the diesel into his minivan, called for work, that he would not be there for a couple of days, and rushed to Riga. In Riga, he did everything for half an hour. But what to say, if an English family doctor, in the month of January, enrolls a child for an orthopedist, only for May? When we were outraged at work about this, the British shrugged their shoulders and said that there were probably too many sick people in the UK. Apparently the way it is. Many sick and few doctors. In truth, normal doctors are either our immigrants or Indians. Local experts treat any disease with paracetamol.
91. As it turned out, once a year you can take six paid weeks due to stress or depression. Of course, this is all done with the consent of the supervisor. I did not hear this from the emigrants, but the British occasionally used this “service”. When they were completely bored with going to work, they went to the office and said that they were depressed. They were sent unconditionally to rest. The Pole, who went to the hospital for surgery, was absent for about a month. Upon returning to work, he was immediately summoned to a disciplinary commission. They said that you can not be absent for so long.
92.In 4 class middle school (middle school), in the first half of the year, in math at home, set the score to 20. After the new year, score up to 40. The multiplication table, there really does not really know anyone. But in the third grade, all students right in the school are presented with a calculator. This is another reason not to learn it. The division system looks like this: 15: 3. I'm not saying that this is again the multiplication table, which you need to know by heart. The number 15 is written on a piece of paper. It is circled, and three legs are drawn to the mug. This is 3. And then dots are sequentially placed in front of each leg until you reach 15. All that remains is to count the points opposite one leg. This is the correct answer. At first I thought the child was engaged in nonsense. I even asked, what did she invent? To which he received the answer:
- This was explained to us at school how to divide the numbers.
I was shocked. After a couple of seconds, I asked:
- Can you split 200 into 10?
“Oooh, this is a difficult task,” an eight-year-old daughter of my friend replied, “But I will try.”
She wrote a figure of two hundred, circled, added 10 legs, and began to dot and count.
“For God's sake, stop,” I asked, “I can't look at it.”
One of the Poles, who had a 14-year-old daughter, thought that it might be possible to return to Poland. And he sent his wife and daughter to explore, see what and how, because they have lived in England for more than 6 years. When they arrived in Poland, the first thing went to school. After a few lessons, my daughter ran out in tears, and told her mother that she would never stay here. Still, it was necessary to determine it in class for a couple of years back. And the worst thing is that all her classmates laughed at her. Brother of the Pole, moved to England and brought his 12-year-old daughter. She was assigned to class by age, but she began to complain that she had nothing to do there. Mathematical problems that her co-ordinates solved minutes using 20, she did in a minute and a half. The girl was transferred to the class above. But even there she sat and looked at the ceiling, because the situation almost repeated itself. Since it was already impossible to transfer even higher, it was left as is. My daughter completely lost interest in learning. There was also a Pole whose son graduated from an English school. The boy has been studying it for the last 8 years. I asked him:
- So how?
“Foolish fool,” he replied.
I don’t know how in high school, in junior they do anything but study. They sing, dance, draw, swim, go on excursions, some dogs, chickens, bunnies lead to them. But in fact, children do not know basic things. For example, filling out a diary for tomorrow, they ask every day what tomorrow is. No wonder. Indeed, in the third grade, at school, they read a fairy tale about three piglets. Another interesting option is notes for the teacher. If you can not do your homework, well, or do not want to, you need to write a note that you can not do it. And the child himself writes a note. And when he comes to school with this note, there are no sanctions for unfulfilled homework. In my opinion, this is the same as writing “I am stupid,” and refer it to the teacher.
93. On all containers with alcohol is the daily limit of use. For example, in forty-degree drinks, for men, it is 100 grams per day, for women 75. Apparently, this is considered the norm. But if you count, it is from 27,4 to 36,5 liters per year, excluding weekends and holidays, when alcohol flows like water. If you look at the statistics, the use of alcohol in the UK is almost on par with Russia. At the same time, Russians are considered drunks, and the British are a great nation. I do not condone anyone. Just juxtapose the facts.
94.And then I decided to leave. Tired of fooling around and depicting work. Tired when your boss is really dumber than you. Tired of getting money and just moving it from place to place. Take at the factory and spread the bills. Tired of this society of burping and farting at the table, and talking only about football, beer, boobs and penis size. In addition, the situation led to the fact that orders at the plant became less and less. Then there was a shortage of materials. Then, there were rumors that the plant has multimillion debts. Then, the foreman said that there were no orders, because the reputation was lost due to poor quality and customer attitudes. And then, it was rumored that the shipyard in Southampton, a state-owned enterprise producing warships, was closed. And I realized that now or never. I realized that now there is still a chance to try again. To revive the business, to do what you liked, despite the difficult situation in my country. To try one more time. Because if I don’t try it now, in a couple of years you can not start. In the end, in slavery, I always have time to return. No wonder my foreman told me goodbye that my hands will always be needed here. “It’s a pity that I’m not the head,” I thought.
95. During the working day of many workers on various issues, the supervisor calls to his office on the speakerphone. Our young English immediately portray that the caller goes to the office to do a blowjob supervisor. They portray an imaginary penis, which they stuff into their mouths, and make throaty sounds. Perhaps this is subtle English humor. At least they are funny. When the supervisor summoned me to say goodbye on the last day, the young Paul portrayed the same thing. And then I repeated it when I left the office and returned to the workshop. There was a pause, and the whole crew was standing together near the ship.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe when you go to the office, they give you a member, the supervisor personally extended a hand to me and thanked me for the good work. And wished good luck.
The workshop exploded with wild laughter, and Paul didn’t approach me that day anymore.
96. There was one decent guy among the English. His name was Colin. He did what he installed in the hull of the yacht interior walls. Fairly accurate work, and not everyone could do it normally. Of course, at one time he, too, mocked me greatly, but then we became friends. When there were a few days before my departure, Colin approached me and asked:
- Did you know about this company before?
“Yes,” I replied. “When I used to work in Russia, I was sitting in my office and watching her website. There were magnificent yachts that I admired and always wanted my production to reach the same heights.
- So how? Seen enough? - He asked, - now you understand what kind of shit?
- Well, about ... - I tried to smooth out the situation a little.
“You saw this production from the inside,” he said to me, “and now you know that what looks great on the Internet is not always so. Now you know that these are ancient, long-obsolete models, technologies of the last century, and that no one wants to improve it or change it in any way. All the brilliance of these ships is induced at the end of the line, by a special team of people who repair, rub and polish them to insanity in order to hide all the flaws and defects. We are sailing by inertia, and we hold only by the name earned by previous generations. And who knows how long this will be enough for us.
I just shook my head back.
“You're lucky,” he said, “in three days you will leave here.” And I still have to work until retirement. I hate this place.
On the last day, when we queued around the electronic time tracking system to mark our departure, many said goodbye to me, shook hands, wished good luck, and one Englishman said:
- I wish you all turned out. But if you fail, come back.
Colin, who stood next turned and said to him:
- Are you crazy? What do you want a man?
And turning to me he smiled, winked and said:
“So I won't see you here anymore.”
By the way, the same thing, I was told by one of the risers at the fish factory on the last day. It was a young guy, the only one who read books at the breaks instead of smoking weed. The Poles at the shipyard, a couple of days before leaving, also said that it would be better for me to go home.
“People like you are not needed here.” You work too well. And they use it. - they told me. By the way, laugh with laughter, but instead of me, from next Monday, they took two.
97. Shortly before I left, there was a sensational story with a hanged-up nurse who was played by two DJs from an Australian radio. She worked in the department where the pregnant wife of Prince William lay. DJs introduced themselves as queen and prince, and began to inquire by telephone about the health of the princess. The nurse did not suspect a trick and told everything on the air. In the beginning, a beautiful idea was filed that the nurse did not survive the shame, because it revealed the secrets of the royal family. And only later, it became known that she was simply harassed at work. She was an Indian woman, and she was simply tortured with jokes, that she was coming and she didn’t know the language well, and that if she knew him better, she would have understood everything at once, and would never have been deceived by the leaders. In general, the girl was driven to suicide. I repeatedly encountered at work when you literally poked your nose at the fact that you were a visitor, and even once, late in the evening, on the street, three drunken youngsters stuck to me asking me if I was an Englishman or not. But I behaved aggressively and they fell behind. A girl with such a situation is more difficult to handle.
98.A some time later, in Birmingham, a nine-year-old schoolboy hanged himself, who was hounded by Asian classmates. Mother repeatedly appealed to teachers with complaints that he was threatened and bullied, but no one did anything to remedy the situation.
99. Before my very departure, the Prime Minister of Great Britain declared that the state would reduce the amount of aid to immigrants. What will be deprived of benefits, assistance in paying for housing and something else there. He also identified the groups with which this assistance will be cut. Again, these were ill-fated Balts and Poles. The most hard-working group among all foreign visitors. And all the other emigrants will not be affected, because these are their former colonies, and the British have moral debts to them, because they once colonized them. Therefore, they can continue to live at the expense of the state treasury and our taxes. And we will look for a second or third job to pay for the rent of apartments and rooms, utility bills, so that in no case tax revenues stop, and their real estate agencies, insurance and energy companies have not deprived of their incomes.
100. Three days after my dismissal, when I was sitting at the airport, a Lithuanian called me and said that today 250 had been fired. Anyone who worked through the agency and was on a test period. Many of them were fired for the second time in half a year. “I think I'm on time,” a thought flashed through my mind. And then, when I was already in Riga, the first shipyard was closed.
101. From time to time, Latvian news The channels report that another Englishman was caught writing on the historic buildings of the Old City, and sometimes even on the Freedom Monument. And every time, they are looking for some catch. From abuse of national symbols, to covert operations to discredit the country. And once in England, I realized what was the matter. And after all, no one guessed that the answer was nowhere simpler. They do the same thing at home. Get out of the pub and piss to the nearest corner. For them, this is more a natural state than malice. This is their normal environment, and after getting drunk in Latvia, they behave just like at home.
102. Once upon a time, while still living in Riga, I went to Livu water park with my sons. There were five Englishmen who behaved by our standards absolutely inadequate. They did not wait for the green light on the roller coaster, jumped into the pipes for five people in a row, rode their stomachs in front of their heads, did not take the inflatable circles, in general they did what they wanted. Rescuers rushed like mad to catch them, but they were not given. The rest of the visitors were in a state of quiet horror and discussed whether they were drunk or stoned, because normal people in the water park usually follow the rules of behavior and safety. And, at least, the personnel obey. In the end, they were caught, and asked to leave the water park. The British made huge eyes and refused. In general, it all ended in a wild scandal and the mood was spoiled by everyone. The secret was revealed to me after many years in the UK. I went to the local water park. And what do you think I saw there? There they did it all and sundry. For two hours in the water park six times less than ours, I observed three incidents. One of which was a woman who had hit the stone floor with her head. They brought her ice, sat beside her, and that was it. Two other incidents were easier. There is red and green light on the pipes for pro forma. There are no sensors on the pipes. All red-to-green switches occur only in time delay. And what's the difference, only the one who wants to look at them looks at the bulbs. And who does not want, just jumps into the pipe, as he pleases, and goes down. What seemed wild and unacceptable to us is, in fact, mundane and absolutely normal for them. And this is a fact.
103. Impresses the number of monotonous homes. When I bought a book with photos about Dorset, the vast majority of the pictures there were about nature. And this is not surprising, since the cities are very monotonous, and there are almost no outstanding architectural monuments. I do not take into account London. It is like Moscow and Russia. There is Moscow, and there is Russia.
104. Women in the UK have no motivation to maintain a relationship with their partner. If she is left alone with the children, the state pays her almost everything. Starting with child benefits, to pay for rental housing. In some cases, it can easily receive housing itself from the state, which will be paid by the state itself. In fact, without a man, she becomes a completely wealthy person. It will not be a shy, but it will not die of hunger either. On the one hand, this is good; on the other hand, a woman always has an iron argument in any dispute: “I don’t like it, it’s from here.” The golden mean for a family is when one works, and the second sits with the children. Then the state provides assistance in the form of benefits and benefits. But this is only part of the total income. If a couple breaks up, the one who stayed with the children gets everything in full and in much larger sizes. Well, a boyfriend or girlfriend, you can sometimes just lead. True quietly, so as not to get caught, otherwise they will be deprived of benefits.
105. Summing up, I would like to express my subjective opinion about the situation as a whole. Being in Latvia, we see the English Island as a kind of fabulous place. Where we are loved, waiting and only dreaming to meet us, kiss us at the ramp and give us our favorite work for a lot of money. There we are waiting for affordable housing, cheap cars, friendly people, and unprecedented growth prospects. This is a great myth, created by I do not know by whom, but in principle I guess. I guess who and why left and right handed out loans here, why people were given the opportunity to insert their heads into the loop, and then they took this rope and took them to the workplace. Only not around his home, but somewhere in Europe. Why was this murderous economic situation created, why are plants and factories compared to earth? And I will say why. Because the rapidly aging Europe is not able to stretch out its production facilities and maintain its retirees who are accustomed to a good and prosperous life. Europe needs labor and taxpayers. How to attract them? Very simple. It is necessary to open the labor market, and take countries to the Eurozone, where there are still few and big-headed cadres, and then create an intolerable economic situation within these countries. This is not difficult. It is only necessary to promote several necessary decisions in Brussels, at the request of some "highly developed" countries, which have received a great number of idlers from their former and present colonies. And now they grabbed their heads, because those who have never worked for themselves, and do not plan to start it on arrival. Its labor is gradually retiring, and there is no one to replace it. Therefore, we must promise something to us, given in a bestial state, and we ourselves will run to them. And we will gratefully kiss their hands. To work for themselves and for them in their factories, pay taxes, enrich their property owners, paying unprecedented rentals for poor housing, pay unrealistic insurance, give big money for communications, communications and electricity. In the end, someone has to do it. And, of course, to keep with their taxes all the alleged unemployed, to whom they are suffering from their previous colonization. In the fourth "Die Hard", Bruce Willis rescued the United States, where computer scientists brought down the country's economy. One day, at some feast, I joked:
- I know how to bring down the UK economy.
- So how? - they asked me.
- It is necessary to make so that in one day all emigrants did not come to work. This will be the end.
Everyone laughed. But in fact, in our company, half of the Poles actually worked, plus the Balts. And let's assume what will happen to the plant, if half of the people from 1800 do not come in the morning?
106. I understand very well that many people, here with us, are brought to a terrible state, and that they have to go there, because there, after paying all the bills, at least there is money left to eat, get dressed, and maybe even buy some inexpensive machine. Although in England, I knew our guys who, after paying bills and paying a monthly rate on a loan taken once in Latvia, lived in a family of four people on 8 pounds a week. I do not agitate anyone and I do not dissuade anyone, I just told my story so that those who are going there have a real idea of the situation, and not a pink mist in the head, after our songs of praise and not of our compatriots in the forums , according to the principle “Every frog praises its own swamp”. After all, nobody writes about the difficulties and problems. Everyone just boasts that they now live in England and that’s cool. Cool - with respect to Latvia, with respect to England, this is already a controversial issue. Therefore, in any case, it is necessary to realize that we are strangers there, and to be ready to meet the new hard life with dignity.
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