Military Review

Attack on Enterprise

77
I don't know what the name of the commander of the Enterprise was, our история he does not remember, but only served parallel to him in the glorious underwater navy The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics is a famous commander named Murashov.
Famous - because famous.

And that's it.
Even then, when he defended his dissertation and brought up the future Murashovs at the school of youth, he continued to remain famous.
Every famous person, like any simple person, has a Blue Dream, to which he has been striving all his life.
Captain second rank Murashov had two of them:
1) Dead loop on a submarine.
2) Drown the Enterprise.
As for the first, it has not yet been implemented this way (although, who knows, maybe Murashov did it on the sly, somewhere in the Mariana Trench, just an achievement is not recorded by anyone).
For me personally, aerobatics in the abyss of the ocean seems as likely as a torpedo salvo in a bath.
But about torpedoes - a little later.

The Enterprise was interested in the military sailor Murashov for many reasons.
First of all, in a real man, there is always a thirst for something to shoot out of something and to definitely fall.
Nobody will argue here.
Now imagine a professional hunter who has fired only blank cartridges all his life, and then you will understand a little the state of the boat commander during combat service, when there are only real torpedoes in vehicles and on racks!
Slava Marinesko and Lunin did not give Murashov peace, as any normal submariner without side associations.
And when the Americans launched their first atomic-powered aircraft carrier with the CVN-65, the second-rank captain Murashov launched an attack on him almost every night.
Mentally, of course.

And suddenly - an incredible coincidence!
The sadistic admirals from the General Staff of the Navy come up with the tracking of a carrier-based and very striking group of the then most likely enemy, and they assign, of course, Murashov.
And one day he looks at the periscope - and here he is, the Enterprise, here he is, sweetie, as on a palm, and fifteen different kinds of cruisers, destroyers and other frigates around him — like the Janissaries around Osman Pasha.


USS Enterprise in the Mediterranean 18 June 1964 of the year.


The guard means that they know about the existence of the captain of 2 rank Murashov.
In fact, they probably knew: they say that for every Soviet officer older than a major in the CIA, a separate personal file was opened.
If this is the case, then there is a whole wardrobe on Murashov there - how to drink?
The commander's eyes glittered predatory, and his right index finger several times automatically pressed the nonexistent trigger of a non-existent shotgun.
- Ooo, bastard!
The sun is shining, the planes from the catapults are taking off, the antennas are spinning - and you can’t shoot anything.
Peace on the planet can not be broken.
Now, if they had given a command from Moscow ...
Although the third world war is also not really wanted.
How can that be?

Tracking a probable opponent implies a simple, in general, thing: hold him, adversary, at gunpoint and wait for the signal.
They will give a signal - swamp, do not give - do not swamp, be patient, hold and wait for being told to drown, or another will change you in three months.
This is a difficult hunt, I tell you, it’s like having three hours to look at a hangover for a glass of cold kefir or beer, and your hands are tied up intently ...
And inside the boat is not a sanatorium with pools and girls.
A submarine is just an iron can, covered outside with a thick layer of rubber.
Presented, yes?
And what else pulls in submariners?
In-in.

One day, others, third ...
And how you want to stick!
Sign, as on the Reichstag, but instead of writing with chalk "Here was the cap. 2 of the rank of Murashov!" - a hole in two trams.
Here it would be just in the middle ...
Even at night you can clearly see ...
And this reptile - on purpose, what mocks? - exactly at midnight, the aircraft began to start up: take-off and landing, take-off and landing, to and fro ...
Lights flash, beckon.
And nylon patience, finally, could not withstand the constant friction about the boundary between mental and physical labor, which is daily washed by Soviet submariners.
The nylon patience loudly snapped, and the echo was scattered throughout the compartments like a fan of commands.
The commander in the hearts zastanul fist on the table, waking zakenivshego watch officer.
- Enough, tudyt-rastudyt! Torpedo attack! - And the whole "Central" looked at his commander with enthusiasm.
“For educational purposes,” Murashov added, somewhat cooling the ardor of the crew.
- The target is Enterprise. The night, however, crawled right on board, horseradish would be noticed.
In the central crawled mine.
- Training actually, commander?
- Training, - confirmed the commander. - Bubble. Fifth and sixth devices free.
And he imagined how the American acoustics, and after them all the other races, run to the upper deck and blink overboard in panic.
The noise of the air spat out of the torpedo tube cannot be confused with anything, but go and see if the torpedo came out with the air or not ...
At such a distance!
The commander rubbed his hands in anticipation of the pleasant.
Hold on, adversary.
Hold on, honey.
The periscope fell down, reports about the readiness of the compartments rained down into the “Central” heap, and a general ship unplanned event began under the exciting name “torpedo attack”.
- The fifth and sixth apparatuses - that-oats! ... The fifth, sixth - or !!! Have a bastard!
- There is a fire! - rehearsed mechanic. - Spare no air!
Hissing, gurgling, the boat shuddered slightly.
After some time, an unpleasant odor appeared in the central area, and everyone curled up their noses.
Murashov, having closed his eyes in bliss, imagines the picture that is now taking place above ...
Now would have a shot!
Okay.
Unable to stand, the commander sheds: "To the periscope depth! Raise the periscope!"
Well, what is it? So...
He looked into the eyepieces, turned it over, ta-ak ... found the Enterprise, and ... mom! ..
Not. Not this way.
- MAMA! MOMMY !!!
- Miner! Miner, your anhydride in manganese peroxide !!!
- Here is a miner ...
- What is shooting, Romanian miserable?
- Tash ...
- I love you ... I ... what did you shoot, fascist ?!
- I did not shoot anything:
- How is it - nothing?
- And so: we have this ... here we have agreed with the mechanic that at the moment of the volley of the latrine he will blow through - the sound effect is the same, and at the same time we will throw out the gomno, we didn’t blow it for two weeks, how much you can carry it with you:
- How much you need, so much and you will carry! (the miner wonders why me?) Count the torpedoes !!!
- Tash ... what happened?
- What happened, what happened ... The Enterprise is on fire !!! Consider come on, gnostrel-craftsman!
Miner shrugged and went to poke a finger on the racks: plus in the apparatus: plus feed.
And in the periscope - a picture !!! We look?

Attack on Enterprise

Fire on USS Enterprise (CVN-65) 14 January 1969 aircraft carrier
Killed 27 people, 343 injured, lost 15 aircraft (cost 5-7 million dollars each).
The damage to the ship was estimated at 6,4 million dollars.


Wow, burning!
Burns well ...
Not just burning - blazing!
In the dark cool seen.
The sight ...
Smoke, flames, people run around the flight deck with small insects - in short, a complete set.
Got a bad game!
Dolbanuli "Enterprise"!
This is not a huhra-mukhra.
Oh, what will be! ..
A special person sticks out in the middle of the central one and still cannot take a decision: he lost the gift of speech.
- Central Mineru! Drag commander, all the torpedoes in place! I do not know what it is. And what, the truth - burns?
- Pashchel! Look for, than drowned this iron, and until you find ...
- No, well, gomnom - it is unlikely: That is, "There is!": And what, really utopian already?
- ............................. !!!!!!!
“Comrade commander, goal number three is dangerously approaching, a distance of fifteen cables ...” the acoustics report interrupted reflections and guesses.
- Urgent immersion! Turbine forward ninety-three! Boatswain, dive a hundred meters ...

For no reason has the Enterprise gone away from the Soviet coast, and the boat was ordered to secretly return to its home base.
At the point of ascent, I was waiting for a BOD with a commission.
Immediately seized the logbook and navigational maps.
Alternately, they interviewed all the witnesses and participants in the “attack” and made it possible in writing to state the events of such and such date.
And there was this:

The presence of the Soviet submarine in the area, the aircraft carrier commander certainly knew, and therefore, knew all his guard.
He also knew that contact with her was lost.
This can be interpreted as the separation of the AUG from the boat, but long-range protection - also submarines - still had to continue the search.
Surely she knew about the loss of contact and the entire aircraft carrier watch.
They knew, and therefore looked at both.
And then - in the lunar path some signalman sees the periscope.
He reports, of course (they have a large cash bonus for this business, by the way).
The aircraft carrier command is worried, the moon is hiding in the clouds, and the periscope is hidden (so as not to blur the optics in the shit).
Everyone is intensely staring at the water, escort ships are notifying, and the aircraft carrier is going, without changing course, because the planes are landing.
Here the moon looks out again, the bubble released is clearly visible - in the lunar path again - and the acoustics scream that they hear a torpedo volley ...
Steering and could not resist, turned, dodging the "torpedoes" - one way or another, history is silent, but the plane did not go there, crashed and caught fire.
The fact is that according to intelligence reports and through diplomatic channels, in the place and at the time where our boat was blowing its latrines, there was a fire on the aircraft carrier as a result of an emergency landing of an aircraft crashing into nearby aircraft. lightly stuck his nose into the side of his own cruiser, the Belknap.
Again, through the military attache, a request was made for the presence of Soviet submarines in that area.
Of course, they politely replied that there were no boats, and the TU was quickly returned ...

... Avtonomka Murashova ended early ...

... At the pier in the base of the boat, the fleet commander personally met.
He listened to the report, frowning, and when the commander had already prepared for insertion, he laid out two stars for him: one (big and Red) - on the chest, the other - smaller - on the shoulder strap.
In addition to the existing ones.
And said:
- Well, dear, you have fulfilled one of your dreams.
The Enterprise has been disabled for at least six months.
For this is not a sin and a hero to give.
But - not destiny.
An international agreement is signed on the prevention of conflicts in the sea and in the air by prohibiting the imitation of combat attacks.
Tabanil it only Americans.
Now, maybe, they will understand his benefit, because the repair of the Enterprise will cost them a pretty penny.
But! - you were not there.
Do you understand?
And explain to the crew.
Well, the authorities will take a non-disclosure subscription, by itself ...
To explain to the Yankam that you did not imitate a torpedo attack, but simply blew your latrines, nobody would.
Firstly, it will only make them angry, and secondly, it’s funny just.
They will still take and do not sign an agreement, they will look for revenge.
TASS has already reported about the accident at the Enterprise and said that our ships were not in the area.
So, I'm sorry, here's the Order of the Red Banner for you - that’s all I can do.
And in general, is it not time for him to rest? the commander turned to the divisional commander.
- And because, as far as I know, another dream has remained, unfulfilled. There are places?
- We find, comrade commander. This is his last autonomous system. The submission for transfer to the training center, the head of the tactical cycle, is ready.
- You go, better, Murashov, in college.
Teach the future naval commanders there, and here it is dangerous to leave you - what good, can you make up your first dream ...

And six months later, the Enterprise underwent an unscheduled repair and again went out to plow open spaces and let Aviationand again someone was chasing him ...
And he was so clean, brand new, brand-new, striped under the flag, and nothing reminded us that not so long ago "There was a cap. 2 of the Murashov here ..."


There are several versions of this tale: I found different interpretations of 4.
In one embodiment, there are long dialogues, in the other - the service of military sailors is described in detail and a large number of naval terms are used.
In the third there is even a lesson of political information.
In one story, the incident occurred during the day, in another - at night.
It has no type expressions:
“... Boat on the depth stabilizer without a turn ...”
“... there is a proposal to lower the periscope: Kingston purges the latrines on the same frame with the periscope, not for long, and optics shuffle ...”
It does not refer to the directive of the General Staff with a recommendation to avoid imitation of combat attacks.
I chose the shortest option, but with a great deal of humor.
Written based on the story "Bubble in the nose," from the collection of stories "Do not drown !!!"
Author: Nikolay Nikolaevich Kuryanchik

A little about the author

Captain 1 rank Nikolai Nikolayevich Kuryanchik gave the best years of his amazing life to service in the submarine fleet, in the village of Rybachy in Kamchatka.

Prior to that, he graduated from the Higher Naval Engineering School named after F. Dzerzhinsky (Leningrad).

Passed decently through not one autonomous unit, he was an engineer of the instrumentation, commander of the automation group of the main power plant of the main nuclear boat of the 671РТМ project, ibid - commander of the survivability division, then commander of the 5 combat unit on the 971 Bars project boat.

He graduated from service as a senior lecturer in the struggle for the survivability of a submarine at the 25-th Training Center in Rybachy.

He currently works in Vilyuchinsk as a sailing coach in a children's sports school.

And he writes stories.

Almost all of them are deeply autobiographical ...
Author:
Photos used:
https://en.wikipedia.org
77 comments
Information
Dear reader, to leave comments on the publication, you must to register.

I have an account? Sign in

  1. svp67
    svp67 23 June 2013 11: 08
    51
    But! - you were not there.
    Oh, this is the TOP class to have time to do something big, for the moment when you were not there ... good
    1. Santa Fe
      Santa Fe 23 June 2013 14: 16
      29
      The attack on the Enterprise is, of course, a bike. The fire on the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN-65) occurred on the morning of January 14, 1969 in 70 miles of Hawaii, the cause is known - the detonation of the aircraft ammunition on the flight deck.

      Quote: svp67
      to top it all off, the aircraft carrier also slightly slammed its nose into the side of its own cruiser URO Belknap.

      This case really took place in reality, but at a different time and in another place

      On November 22, 1975, the escort cruiser Belknap collided with the aircraft carrier John F. Kennedy off the coast of Sicily. AV demolished the entire superstructure of the Belknapu and abundantly flavored the blazing ruins with aviation kerosene from the burst highways.

      Here, by the way, is a photo of a damaged cruiser
      1. starshina78
        starshina78 23 June 2013 19: 54
        15
        Though a bike, it’s nice!
        1. Santa Fe
          Santa Fe 23 June 2013 21: 00
          12
          Quote: starshina78
          Though a bike, it’s nice!

          What am I talking about?))

          All the events were in reality - the fire on the Enterprise, the wounded Belknap. Even the boat was - K-10, EMNIP in 1969 crept up to the Enterprise during a typhoon and 10 hours went unnoticed under the bottom of the AUG ships.

          This is no longer a bike. The Amers have done a terrible job and since then include a multipurpose nuclear submarine in the AUG to follow the "dead sectors"
          1. cartridge
            cartridge 23 June 2013 22: 04
            14
            Submarines torpedo ship ...
            How nice that I'm not a sailor smile
            1. old man54
              old man54 25 June 2013 13: 03
              +2
              The target in the video is an English frigate of the "Linder" class, its displacement is not large, about 2800 gross tons, so it was broken. Although impressive of course!
            2. sub307
              sub307 29 June 2013 17: 43
              0
              Well, I'm just a submariner.
          2. Suhov
            Suhov 24 June 2013 00: 33
            0
            Quote: SWEET_SIXTEEN
            Even the boat was - K-10, EMNIP in 1969 crept up to the Enterprise during a typhoon and 10 hours went unnoticed under the bottom of the ships AUG.

            Question on tactics.
            It is understandable to walk under the bottom "on the sly" - it is "easier" to accompany potential partners this way.
            And then what to do when you need to heat them?
            Gored aircraft carrier from the bottom by ascent or slow down, and only then throw torpedoes?
            How right?
            what
            1. dustycat
              dustycat 9 July 2013 20: 01
              0
              In general, a torpedo can be made to make any U-turn according to a loaded program. She does not need a lot of brains for this.
              Steering cars in World War II taught turns after a torpedo shot after the right time to do.
              And in particular, after passing the calculated distance, get up on the spiral circulation at the calculated depth.
      2. Konsmo
        Konsmo 23 June 2013 20: 16
        +6
        smile My friend Shurik then served on the BOD "Nikolaev". The air defense warhead sat on the radars. (If I'm not mistaken)
        They grazed this aircraft carrier. He told. These freaks of Amer, at night or what fucked.
        He says in the morning Moscow asks what happened to you. And we are not in a dream. Most likely, we drove on the farthest side although we were on direct line of sight. Moscow says that you are sleeping there, pictures are already in all the newspapers, the aircraft carrier gouged out its escort ship, drove along it with superstructures. Don’t drag the service . Well, a little, kindly, yes BOK bosses were abused.
    2. Orel
      Orel 24 June 2013 05: 26
      +2
      Now it will not have to be drowned. Decommissioned. Now we can say about the aircraft carrier "George Bush" to dream.
    3. Andrey Yuryevich
      Andrey Yuryevich 24 June 2013 07: 42
      +5
      yes ... Murashov handsome, stories about his service to the young need to read like a bible before bedtime! to raise morale! wink
  2. andrei332809
    andrei332809 23 June 2013 11: 11
    36
    fun. Pokrovsky also writes.
    eh, there was a Union, and reckless commanders felt a mighty power
    1. ziqzaq
      ziqzaq 23 June 2013 13: 34
      32
      Quote: andrei332809
      reckless commanders felt a mighty power

      We’ll drink everything, but we won’t disgrace the fleet ......
      This is not liberoid roosters for you, these men are like steel nails ...
      1. Genych
        Genych 24 September 2017 23: 54
        0
        To make nails from these people: There would be no stronger nails in the world of nails. ..
    2. Nick
      Nick 23 June 2013 21: 56
      +7
      Quote: andrei332809
      eh, there was a Union, and reckless commanders felt a mighty power

      Fortunately, not so reckless as to provoke the third world war ... All the same, there were reckless ones, but as they say, "They knew measure" ...
  3. Sakhalininsk
    Sakhalininsk 23 June 2013 11: 13
    17
    Offset laughing although I read earlier, but still laughed heartily presenting a picture of this apocalypse laughing
    1. Val_y
      Val_y 26 June 2013 13: 03
      +4
      Exactly, I was so bursting with words ... look for something, drowned this iron - well, not a homie ... laughing
  4. erased
    erased 23 June 2013 11: 21
    10
    Class! Well there were people in our time, not like the current tribe ...
  5. svp67
    svp67 23 June 2013 11: 25
    23
    Quote: erased
    Class! Well there were people in our time, not like the current tribe ...
    Yes, there is at the present time - just not everything else can be told. They are there, AS WELL NOT ... lol
    1. Aleks tv
      Aleks tv 23 June 2013 21: 42
      +4
      Quote: svp67
      Yes, there is at the present time - just not everything else can be told. They are there, AS WELL NOT ...

      good

      And the story is super.
      Well, they weren’t afraid, that's for sure.
  6. Suhov
    Suhov 23 June 2013 11: 50
    14
    Captain second rank Murashov had two of them:
    1) Dead loop on a submarine.
    2) Drown the Enterprise.

    If Murashov tried to drown the Enterprise,
    then by that moment in time he should already have done a dead loop:
    the aircraft carrier was the second in a row.
    Where is the dead loop description?
    He is not there!
    The question arises:
    What happened during the execution of the dead loop, if the fact of its implementation is still classified?
    wassat
    1. v53993
      v53993 23 June 2013 13: 56
      +3
      The question arises:
      What happened during the execution of the dead loop, if the fact of its implementation is still classified?

      Judging by Murashev, a loop has occurred.
    2. svp67
      svp67 23 June 2013 13: 58
      +5
      Quote: Sukhov
      The question arises:
      What happened during the execution of the dead loop, if the fact of its implementation is still classified?

      Well, you have to read between the lines
      here we agreed with the mechanic that he would blow out at the moment of the salvo of the latrine - the sound effect is the same, but at the same time we’ll throw it out ..., how much you can carry it with you
      : lol
    3. The comment was deleted.
    4. pensioner
      pensioner 23 June 2013 16: 23
      +6
      Quote: Sukhov
      Where is the dead loop description?
      He is not there!


      Good afternoon, Sukhov! How is it not there ?? Have you heard of the "Quakers"? Well, about other inexplicable phenomena in the ocean ... He trained for a long time repeat ... well inherited!
      1. Suhov
        Suhov 24 June 2013 00: 07
        0
        Good evening, Senior Citizen.
        I heard a little about "Quakers".
        It is quite possible these are some unmanned underwater vehicles of potential partners.
        Well, not a UFO, in fact.
        Sounds like croaking.
        But how else can signals be transmitted under water? Only with the help of sounds.
        It would be interesting compare working frequencies:
        - devices for transmitting signals over long distances,
        - devices for location purposes
        - with the frequency of the Quakers?
        But what are they ("Quakers") imprisoned?
        hi
    5. nnz226
      nnz226 23 June 2013 23: 53
      +3
      Physically impossible! The devices and equipment on the submarine are of course fixed, but not designed to "hang" upside down. Fall off the mounts! See the descriptions of disasters at sea, when boilers, cars, etc. are thrown from their places when the ship is flooded (if it does not sink on an even keel).
  7. amber-50
    amber-50 23 June 2013 12: 03
    +7
    Well done !!! Once again it proves that everything is in order with a healthy sense of humor. Amers, as always, are in shit, both literally and figuratively. PS I’m sorry that he did not fulfill his second dream. And the article is undoubtedly ++++.
  8. RDS-1
    RDS-1 23 June 2013 12: 10
    14
    Hundred and hundredth time I read this bike, I enjoy it for one hundred and hundred times. Eternal values ​​do not bother! good
  9. Airman
    Airman 23 June 2013 12: 11
    10
    Yes, the damage to mattresses was done in more than 70 million, and the whole order of the Red Banner? The country does not value its Heroes.
    1. es.d
      es.d 23 June 2013 14: 22
      +4
      .. put him two stars: one (big and Red) - on the chest, the second - smaller - on the shoulder strap ..
      Where is the Order of the Battle Red Banner? Oh, these tales, oh, these storytellers. There are men!
  10. shinobi
    shinobi 23 June 2013 12: 13
    11
    Cool bike! Offset! good
  11. Sirocco
    Sirocco 23 June 2013 13: 00
    +5
    Respect to such commanders. I will also say the words of Lermontov. Yes, there were people in our time,
    Not that the present tribe:
    I wonder if there are any now? Or the Pepsi generation rolls.
    1. Bort radist
      Bort radist 23 June 2013 15: 21
      +3
      Quote: Sirocco
      Not that the current tribe: I wonder if there are any now?

      Yes there is, anyway! Only now there are no stars, no orders.
  12. ded10041948
    ded10041948 23 June 2013 13: 23
    +3
    I have no words! Here are some more comedians. The mattress covers would quickly decrease in arrogance. I read it with great pleasure. The mood reached the place, you can get out to work!
  13. Russ69
    Russ69 23 June 2013 13: 35
    +3
    Yes, and now it happens that they imitate an attack, in the press how many there were, then to the base in Japan, then Norway, then the same aircraft carriers, but surely not everything was disclosed.
  14. Alexey M
    Alexey M 23 June 2013 13: 59
    +7
    Under the USSR, even adversary was afraid of shit! Not like right now.
  15. serg. 555
    serg. 555 23 June 2013 14: 12
    +3
    Well done sailors, with humor.
  16. Constantine
    Constantine 23 June 2013 14: 14
    +7
    Good post) +

    I recalled an episode of 72 meters)
    1. PROXOR
      PROXOR 27 June 2013 15: 42
      0
      ADDED !!!!!!!
      I am a PATSAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! laughing
    2. alex popov
      alex popov 28 June 2013 13: 16
      0
      AAAA! I haven’t laughed like that for a long time! Class !!!!!!
  17. Kovrovsky
    Kovrovsky 23 June 2013 15: 04
    +3
    "Enterprise" departed, went to "gramophone needles"! wink
    1. Mister X
      23 June 2013 19: 58
      +1
      We can still be cut into small fragments and will be sold as souvenirs,
      like pieces of the Berlin Wall or pieces of sawn missiles under Humpback?
      Or will the Yankees have their own "Aurora"?
      1. Revolver
        Revolver 24 June 2013 01: 52
        0
        Quote: Mister X
        Or will the Yankees have their own "Aurora"?

        Has already. Called USS Intrepid, stands at the pier in Manhattan, and on the deck is an aviation museum, and not just the American one. There are 3 MiGs (15, 17, 21) in the colors of Korea, Vietnam, and Poland, respectively, and the Israeli Kfir. Well, there are a lot of Americans, from the time of the Korean and Vietnamese warriors to SR-71 and F-14, and now, I heard, also a shuttle. Nearby, the USS Growler submarine is also open to visitors.
        And in general it’s interesting, so if anyone is going to call in New York, I advise you to stop by.
  18. Mister X
    23 June 2013 15: 12
    11
    But now you are no longer a bike, but a documentary video.
    Black sea ram in the 12 / 02 / 1988
    2 Soviet watchdogs against the American cruiser and destroyer.
    (The correct term is bulk: popping)

    1. Starina_hank
      Starina_hank 24 June 2013 20: 41
      0
      Approximately also it is possible to push out the tank with the force, with the same success!
  19. gleb49
    gleb49 23 June 2013 15: 56
    10
    There was still a flyby on a shaving aircraft carrier. There were shot down B-52 packs in Vietnam. It's time to praise our heroes. Let the youth know that the fathers did not only drink vodka.
  20. gleb49
    gleb49 23 June 2013 16: 11
    +7
    He looked at Obama’s face here. Putin apparently saw this bastard. Soon the whole world will persuade Russia to disarm. Putin is not Medvedev. Fuck them all over erysipelas. We are not Yugoslavia.
  21. pensioner
    pensioner 23 June 2013 16: 33
    +2
    I remembered something. V. Pikul said that he wanted to get on a torpedo boat after a sailor told him about how he flies on a Helsinki plane with sea torpedoes every night. The weapon, he said, is so terrible that the Finns are terrified of it. And when the torpedo falls, its propeller still works. Foolish Finns gather around the torpedo, look at the spinning propeller and think, "What does THAT mean?" It was then that she and ... It was unrealistic to get into aviation in his years, but into the "School of the Jungs" - easily. So he got there.
  22. Andrey from Tver
    Andrey from Tver 23 June 2013 18: 15
    +6
    From the book "72 dead" by Pokrovsky
    Recently, we are very friendly with the Americans. I mean our anti-submarine ship and their cruiser. So everywhere and walk together, like attached. Keeping distance and all that jazz. And then you’ll get lost yet, God forbid, then look for each other, waste your nerves.
    We even make each other from afar with a pen - supposedly hello, speckled! Idyll, in general.
    For every hunter a victim.
    Fighting idyll.
    But once this idyll of ours was interrupted in the most unexpected way. One morning, the commander's cabin was heard: "Bastards! Battle alert! Torpedo attack!"
    My mother! Everyone was stunned, but then - there was nothing to do - they rushed: "The devices are on the starboard side!" - calls, jumps, and already turned the muzzle and already froze at the units. Only something remained to press. Such an insignificant button.
    Amerikosy described. They did not even have time to figure it out, jumped on
    deck who in what and yell. "Russians! Don't!"
    Yes, we ourselves do not want to. And then the commander from the cabin doesn’t show up something to take control of the fire entirely.
    Let's go on tiptoe to see how he is doing. And he stands in the middle of the room, indefatigable trachoma, holds a mug to his ear and says, "I'm ready to strike at the bulwark of world imperialism."
    Crazy, imagine! We quietly closed the door with buttocks and ran the torpedoes away from the torpedoes to pull them away.
    And the Americans shouted: 'Okay, wet little ones, forgiven for today!'
  23. old man54
    old man54 23 June 2013 19: 31
    +8
    Thanks for the article, I didn’t read it earlier, I’m not a little pissed off from laughter ... Xia !! :)))
    Of course "+"!
    I know a more realistic case, although maybe I know geo I'm not alone, although ... and I'm alone? :))))))) In March 1984, the nuclear submarine of Project 671 K-314, when it ascended, proportioned the bottom of the Amerov strike aircraft carrier "Kitty" Hawk, "whom she monitored as he was drifting and taking fuel from the tanker on board. Neither K-314 nor "Kitty Hawk" had any contact with a friend at that time and did not know about finding each other. :) It happened so! :)
    1. Know-nothing
      Know-nothing 23 June 2013 22: 21
      +5
      Not at the ascent, but already in the surface position, the aircraft carrier rammed the boat. For captain K-314 Evseenko, it all ended up in charge of the fuel and lubricants warehouse, if I am not mistaken.

      In general, I was removed from the post of submarine commander, transferred to serve ashore. For me it was a blow worse than a blow to the screws. Then they suggested that I return to the bridge again. But when I found out which ship was in question - about the broken-down 675 project, which was rotting at the berth - I refused. It’s better as a commander on a floating boat than a commander on such a coffin.
      1. old man54
        old man54 24 June 2013 20: 17
        0
        Quote: Dunno
        Not at the ascent, but already in the surface position, the aircraft carrier rammed the boat. For captain K-314 Evseenko, it all ended up in charge of the fuel and lubricants warehouse, if I am not mistaken.

        I don’t know, I wasn’t there. I read more than once in books, wrote comments not from memory, but checked against info from the book "Submarines", ed. Moscow 2001, from the comments to it by Vyacheslav Goncharov.
        Let me say that if any submarine, any, had rammed the NK, any, let alone the UA "Kitty Hawk" there is nothing to say, then K-314 would be at the bottom! There are more than examples of the results of such collisions in the history of shipping. So ... see for yourself.
        1. Know-nothing
          Know-nothing 25 June 2013 05: 38
          0
          In order not to guess, we give the floor to the captain:
          In 22.10 I pop up on periscope depth for the next communication session. I examine the right and left heading angles. At 90 degrees to the left, I visually detect the entire aircraft carrier-strike group. Lots of side lights. Tanker refueling ships. 20 – 30 cable distance. We go counter-courses, that is, towards each other. Immediate immersion!

          And suddenly - a powerful blow. The submarine prowled at 20 ° at the heading and returned to its original position. The pressure in the hydraulic system is zero.

          - Emergency alarm! Look around in the compartments!

          The first thought was that the conning tower was demolished and the light body was torn apart. We put forward sliding devices - periscope, antennas - everything works. From the compartments they report that there is no water, the mechanisms are working. Speed ​​on a lag of 6 knots. And then a new blow - to starboard!
          [...]
          It's clear that an aircraft carrier drove through usthat the second blow fell on the screw. The first, in all likelihood, bent the stabilizer.


          http://www.e-reading-lib.org/chapter.php/1010019/54/Cherkashin_-_Vozmutiteli_glu
          bin._Sekretnye_operacii_sovetskih_podvodnyh_lodok_v_gody_holodnoy_voyny.html
  24. knn54
    knn54 23 June 2013 20: 03
    +3
    After "blowing the latrine" of our nuclear submarine, "Enterprise" did not approach the Soviet coast ...
    1. old man54
      old man54 23 June 2013 20: 18
      +2
      Quote: knn54
      After "blowing the latrine" of our nuclear submarine, "Enterprise" did not approach the Soviet coast ...

      apparently they really didn’t like the smell, the smell of being blown out of the fiscal tank! :)))
    2. tolian
      tolian 24 June 2013 15: 06
      +8
      But everything here is from what really happened. For example, in 1968 we were in the Atlantic at the side of Namibia. Near South Africa. The country is then very unfriendly. They did a bomb with Israel. We are a surface ship. Flag - USSR. Aircraft coast guard of South Africa. It moves away, turns around, flies around again. Already pretty close. Visible is a drawn running deer on the fuselage. Is removed. I look again makes a U-turn. And then I was very young. Only their schools. And I stand on the deck of the upper bridge. And next to the sheathed crane is a girder. The case is very reminiscent of a gun. What hit me in the head, I don’t know. As soon as in third time the South African ace approached the ship, I rushed to uncover the crane - beam. The pilot did not expect reactions. The plane sagged strangely and roared wildly with screws pushed to the side. And ..... disappeared. He flew home. No longer disturbing. And it was in the days of the USSR!
  25. Mechanismoid
    Mechanismoid 23 June 2013 20: 06
    +3
    Great "+" article! I read it with great pleasure! Once again I am convinced of that. as in our Army and the Navy. there are real Guys .. with the largest letter! this kind of information should be circulated in all media and on all sites .. and not just on such a highly specialized one. So that pride in our Armed Forces and the Navy fills the hearts of not only those who have devoted their entire lives to it, but also the young people who, at the moment, have, except for a cool "Iphon" and a pocket of dough. no more values ​​...
  26. deman73
    deman73 23 June 2013 20: 28
    +3
    Handsome men keep it up laughing
  27. lilit.193
    lilit.193 23 June 2013 20: 35
    14
    Cool and super !!! good
  28. Pamir210
    Pamir210 23 June 2013 20: 46
    +3
    A popular and funny bike.
    True, having very little relation to reality.
    1. подводник
      подводник 23 June 2013 21: 23
      +2
      Pamir210
      There is a saying in Russia: "The less you know, the better you sleep" ...
      Sleep well!
      1. Pamir210
        Pamir210 25 June 2013 07: 16
        0
        Apparently you have no other arguments.
  29. Kirgudum
    Kirgudum 23 June 2013 20: 51
    +3
    How many times I read, so many times I laugh) Respect to our submariners!
  30. Cynic
    Cynic 23 June 2013 21: 37
    +7
    In an international naval exercise, RIMPAC2012, an Australian submarine torpedoed a USS Kilauea with one shot during a combat torpedo test.

    http://bezfishki.ru/8877-torpedirovanie-amerikanskogo-vo.html
  31. Dovmont
    Dovmont 23 June 2013 22: 06
    10
    My friend, who was going on a cargo ship, said that they were in the 80s. in the Pacific Ocean (did not specify where) an American helicopter was shot down from a water cannon, brazenly circling above their deck. The helicopter crew could not be saved. Amer then asked the crew of the cargo ship about the helicopter - but ours boldly stated that they had not seen anything, and that was the end of the matter.
  32. Edward
    Edward 23 June 2013 22: 34
    +3
    not in the topic (although how to look), but in essence:
    - why do I love Ecuador?
    - for a good feast of friends!
  33. akm8226
    akm8226 23 June 2013 22: 41
    +6
    Know our !!!!!!!
  34. _Forgiven_
    _Forgiven_ 23 June 2013 22: 42
    +9
    The article was humorous due to the manner of presentation. People will reread such materials with pleasure again and again. A huge plus for the author, for more such materials
  35. matross
    matross 23 June 2013 23: 15
    +3
    The article is great - just a song! +++
    And who knows why a loop cannot be made on a boat?
    1. Mister X
      26 June 2013 21: 18
      0
      Quote: matRoss
      And who knows why a loop cannot be made on a boat?

      Judging by the technical progress, such ones will appear soon.
      Look at what they do on Seabreacher (Dolphin Inspired Personal Submarines)
      The loop does not yet, but already somersaults in full.
      It’s worth a penny: thousand 100 tanks.

    2. politruk419
      politruk419 28 June 2013 09: 20
      0
      Because to her then PPC. Complete and inevitable.
    3. dustycat
      dustycat 9 July 2013 20: 17
      0
      The angle of the horizontal rudders is small.
      Therefore, it is written about the Mariana Trench.
      The loop diameter is too large.
      Well, some mechanisms are not fastened enough so that the bolts can withstand their weight.
  36. Chicot 1
    Chicot 1 23 June 2013 23: 18
    +6
    From the heart! good Respect to the author! good Our submariners too! drinks Let the bike, but as they say - there is no smoke without fire! wink
    And also a little bit of humor in the pictures on the subject of submelt ... laughing
  37. Sergey S.
    Sergey S. 23 June 2013 23: 24
    +4
    Quote: Nick
    Fortunately, not so reckless as to provoke the third world war ... All the same, there were reckless ones, but as they say, "They knew measure" ...

    Thanks to their dashing professionalism, there was no third world war.
    A cautious and primitive, rational, law-abiding stop the adversary can not afford ...
  38. mosgeo1
    mosgeo1 24 June 2013 00: 09
    0
    I have such, believe me lust for destruction, passed in youth. Homeless dogs got out at night and fought with it. Once I had a dream, the night that I was leading a black, shaggy dog ​​on the fly, he ran into the Memorial to the Dead Soldiers. At the eternal Fire. I decided to shoot. The trigger on the platoon floor, on the street did not have time, hid in firs against the eternal flame, a girl in a black fur coat rises at the exit to the light! He jumped in a cold sweat and didn’t even go hunting anymore! In the North - it was a matter, but only at an absolute necessity!
  39. Straga
    Straga 24 June 2013 01: 24
    +4
    My brother served in the Northern Fleet in the late 80s and early 90s. Cap 3 they had Murashov. Whether the one or not the same ... But they played something similar with the "mattress covers". They went too ... Almost into the Murmansk Bay. They do not give the command to drown, the times are not the same. And it is necessary to prevent. As a result, they demolished something. Either the wheelhouse, or the rudders. Lulei current was painted for ours, and so no awards. :(
  40. DPN
    DPN 24 June 2013 09: 45
    +1
    Beautiful bike, the Navy was pleasantly in my soul.
  41. duchy
    duchy 24 June 2013 10: 40
    +3
    Good article, fun. I’ve thought, but does the latrine on the carcasses contain a lot? I wish they were still on top the same. fellow
  42. Alexan
    Alexan 24 June 2013 19: 51
    0
    With sea relish worthy of Konetsky it is written. And I do not want to know about the degree of veracity. It should be. so I want it ...
  43. vladnn
    vladnn 25 June 2013 15: 36
    +1
    Quote: Dunno
    Not at the ascent, but already in the surface position, the aircraft carrier rammed the boat. For captain K-314 Evseenko, it all ended up in charge of the fuel and lubricants warehouse, if I am not mistaken.

    [/ I]

    I personally knew captain 1st rank Evseenko. Served in one piece. Fortunately, he did not have to command the fuel and lubricants warehouse. He received the Order of the BKZ and was sent to the glorious city of Komsomolsk-on-Amur. In 717, the training center of the Navy. Was there the chief of the cycle. I quit there at 96 for a cut. And the center ceased to exist in the year 98 like.
  44. Mister X
    26 June 2013 16: 11
    +3
    Another story.
    When in the 1964 year N.S. Khrushchev was on his way to Egypt to give Gamal Abdel Nasser the Golden Star of a hero,
    he was directly infuriated by the arrogance of the American pilots who flew over the ship,
    almost knocking down the mast and absolutely not paying attention to the flag of the head of government of the USSR.
    And then the man who almost ruined the fleet suddenly remembered him!

    Soon, our submariners received a secret and very daring task.
    At noon on July 14 1964, at the signal of the main headquarters of the Navy in the very center of the US Navy 6
    at the same time 12 (!) surfaced of our submarines, after which our sailors went out to smoke.
    Absolutely stunned Americans were in a panic.
    They obviously did not expect such impudence.
    And in vain!
    Here is such a "Kuz'kina mother" turned out ...
  45. rodevaan
    rodevaan 27 June 2013 12: 26
    0
    Hmm :) No wonder Russia is the No. 1 enemy for them.
    Only a Russian soldier can kick a throat-shaped, western-shaped flaw well.
  46. NOMADE
    NOMADE 28 June 2013 08: 07
    +3
    Quote: Dovmont
    My friend, who was going on a cargo ship, said that they were in the 80s. in the Pacific Ocean (did not specify where) an American helicopter was shot down from a water cannon, brazenly circling above their deck. The helicopter crew could not be saved. Amer then asked the crew of the cargo ship about the helicopter - but ours boldly stated that they had not seen anything, and that was the end of the matter.


    )) It's easy. In the 90s, even despite the "Yeltsin" Russia, there were pleasant situations. As my father told me, they were at the shooting ranges (Pacific Fleet), they launched - the KR Mosquito, but in neutral waters, the American Orion flew in insolently .., making dangerous maneuvers. In general, a request was made from the ship, and so and so, in neutral waters in the immediate vicinity during missile firing, a NATO aircraft invaded the closed zone. Well, on the ship, they thought, as "usually" in Moscow, they "bend". But, suddenly comes permission to hit the target, if necessary. The crew happily unfolds the AK-130 (only one gun is in working order, the other did not work) and begins to hit the Orion. So those, includes the rest of the engine and afterburner skidded towards Japan. In general, as my father said, he then felt pride for Russia at least for a minute)))
    I think there are a lot of such episodes.
    And the article is excellent, thanks to the author, I had a good laugh))))) Especially from the dream number 1, it’s scary to imagine)
  47. sub307
    sub307 29 June 2013 17: 48
    0
    "The old man fought back", went to write-off.
  48. gych
    gych 30 June 2013 15: 30
    0
    article is super!. the moral of the story is that if we drown him in g @ outside!
  49. Petrovich
    Petrovich 1 July 2013 00: 55
    +1
    Thank you for the article. He laughed. Previously, ships were wooden, and people were iron, now ships are iron - people are wooden. Or it’s not the time to talk about the present ...
  50. dustycat
    dustycat 9 July 2013 21: 08
    +3
    Add my two pennies.
    This was told by my uncle Lesha (Leonid Pogorelov in fact). Now deceased. Tragically died in a mine.
    He served in the Arctic. Helmsman. On the sub.
    They went around the world.
    A circumnavigation like a circumnavigation, only under water. Shakes less.
    Among other things, sometimes secretly under tankers climbed into foreign ports, including the most likely.
    And once, when entering San Francisco (we climbed in as usual under the noise of a tanker) something hit their cap.
    There was a night. Waiting for another to get out just as quietly.
    Quiet, boring. Excitement up to two points.
    Well cap and gives a command under the periscope.
    Quietly purged without bubbles.
    The city shines brightly with lights, the brightly lit port rumbles, the bridge is brightly lit.
    Light haze and excitement. The sky is clear.
    Some part of the AUG near the quays is hustling. All are brightly lit.
    Some sort of merchant of screws rinses towards the open sea MIMO AUG. But far away. He is still half an hour or an hour to the position of the boat.
    Quite something hit the cap, and he commands "Urgent dive".
    "Turn towards AUG and come up so that the hairs from the brushes in the waterline can be seen."
    Came up.
    The next command is "Bilge mechanics blow the latrine".
    Doduli.
    The next command is "full speed ahead, dive under the huckster, follow the screws"
    Done.
    But as they could. Either hold on to the wheels, or hold on to the bellies, but everyone is restrained, only the cap shines with a joyful physiognomy.
    Went out for the raid. There, by the side of a large tanker, it is dripping in a suitable course.
    Acoustics reports in the port a loud noise of screws.
    But the cap is interested in what effect.
    They lagged behind the tradesman on the foot;
    Raised the cap of the periscope, looked around. And he says "wow, how interesting." In general, he says, they have a complete nix there. Small ships and frigates rush here and there with breakers, an aircraft carrier and some other healthy ships search the sea with searchlights. Someone hung out the lighting "chandeliers".
    Helicopters with spotlights over the port water area are chasing.
    Then he abruptly changed his face and commands "under the tanker quickly."
    We got up under the tanker.
    An acoustician reports "on the right, the noise of two frigates, they are moving in a parallel course at the speed of a tanker."
    In general, their frigates led almost to the Canadian territorial waters under a tanker.
    And there the storm began, they sank to the bottom as much as possible and as soon as the tanker went away, still accompanied by frigates, they went further along the ridge to Japan.
    Round the world to complete.

    PS reproduced as best he could, the deceased Lesha came out funnier.