Military Review

Loss of

Lost a very necessary and necessary thing.

How will the reconnaissance personnel manage without it?

The meeting in the separate reconnaissance battalion dragged on, one might even say it did not find its logical conclusion.
All topics have been exhausted, all the bones ground down and spit out at the mercy of harsh public.
The case tried to fix the depressor, who, having stood up, rolled a speech for twenty minutes.
Company workers settled down more comfortably and began to draw in their workbooks hell.
Zamkombat on combat came to the conclusion that "the rear always wins combat training," got a little sad, and began to secretly dream of a new sports town.
The harsh boredom of military everyday life has shrouded the officers, and even a formidable comrade commander, listening to the bright prospects of "mountain uniforms, receiving new rations and building a battalion bath," carried away with thoughts where it was unclear.
The common idyll was spoiled by the sad zampotech, who, opening his mouth and listening to the eloquent and sultry man, brushed away a tear that came over, affection and suddenly said to everyone and even to himself:
- And I have an amper meter from MTOshki ... do you sleep ...
The phrase Zampotech has brought a stream of revival to the ranks of military intelligence.

The first to respond was the mob:
- Yes, yes, comrade officers, despite the fact that I, with all my heart for the battalion, I can’t build a bath for the third month, the ammeter was stolen from the deputy engineer, so tomorrow we’ll allocate 10 people from the second company !!!

Then the political commissar started up: the initiative was swimming out of my hands !!!
- And I believe that this fact was appropriate because the platoon reconnaissance surveillance, the second week is not hanging wall print !!!
What's next??? I am even afraid to think !!!

The commander of the VRN (reconnaissance platoon by observation) deftly retorted:
- And you haven't given us fresh newspapers for two weeks already !!!

- What the fuck are your newspapers ??? - Zampolit hoisted, - bring the newspapers to you ...
Ammeter first return zampoteho !!!

- Yes exactly!!! - again arose vampire. Ammeter is understandable.
And where are the twenty pillowcases that your predecessor didn't pass to me ???

Here always imperceptible nachpodd-choldenky, plump senior lieutenant.
- And the acts of cancellation where? On the sleeping bags, burned in combat ???

- Comrades ofitseryyy !!!! - howled zampoteh - And what does my ammeter !!!

Combat banged his fist on the table.
Everyone was silent.
- And all because everyone is busy with their own business! Bardak, verbiage and ..
- Handicrafts - prompted zamkombat.
- Exactly! - picked up the battalion commander. - Ponaveshali in tents all porn, go to the soldiers' latrine impossible: poskolzneshsya but how ...

- I meant that they are stealing - corrected the inspired battalion commander, Deputy.
- Yep, exactly! You enter the soldiers' need and there ... uh, what are we talking about ???
- Ammeter ... - prompted the sad zampotekh.
- Exactly! You go to the hedge - and there is an ammeter ??? Hey, zampotek! What else ammeter ammeter?
- The one that disappeared from MTOshki ...
- yayayayayayayayayay! - howled like a wounded elephant commander. - Finish the meeting, find our specialist, and - to me ....

They tried to look for the Specialist until the PNSH, having raised the extracts from the orders, did not inform everyone that the Specialist was on a combat mission along with the reconnaissance-landing company.
The battalion commander wondered if it was somehow related to the loss of the ammeter, then he spat on everything and appointed a commission to deal with this fact, sworn the deputy engineer, and went to sleep with satisfaction from a job well done.

The appointed commission began work in the morning.
The first to come under suspicion was zampotech.
However, the techie despite the sensitivity and penchant for sentimentality rejected the absurd accusations.

Then the commission puzzled Zampotech writing a detailed help about ammeters.
The clerk of the technical part coped with the task.
Now the commission has taken possession of the valuable document, and in addition, some cargo of technical knowledge.
The second was interrogated by a repairman who lived in the car.
Kontraktnik for half an hour trying to understand what they want from him, but did not understand.
Therefore, he slowly washed off to the repair platoon and warned everyone about the impending “Shmona” ..
The first day of the commission’s work ended to no avail ...

On the second day, a battalion special arrived, bringing with them a trophy weapon and cheek, swollen with a huge flux.
Counterintelligence waited impatiently because история nevertheless, with the ammeter, thanks to the efforts of the political officer, he leaked to the upper headquarters and snarled, and cried:
- "DOUBLE !!!!" - instructed to deal with this story, which began to grow into mysterious details to his assistant for legal work.

The assistant simply went to the reconnaissance battalion and took away a detailed reference on ammeters from the local commission, which he immediately put on the table for the brigade commander.
Kombrig, after reading the certificate, became thoughtful and summoned the chief of intelligence.
- On, read! And think: how can action movies use this against us ...

The chief of reconnaissance of midnight tormented himself in his office, turned over a bunch of references, reports, and came to the conclusion that this thing is very necessary for the militants.
Just in case, he wrote a small report in which he mentioned that he did not exclude the possibility of militant attacks on the brigade's RPM with the aim of capturing several more ammeters.

As a result of this opus, the reconnaissance battalion became the object of intent checks and quibbles.
And at the brigade meetings motorized rifle battalions commanded the reconnaissance battalion commander with all sorts of jokes like:
“Doesn't ammeter measure current strength and length?”
- Amperes there or meters?
- Oh yes! You do not have ... But my zampotekh from Mozdok brought such an ammeter ...

Tired of the special person, whom enthusiastic views and whispers behind his back were embarrassed by the order, he bravely introduced himself to the battalion commander and immediately asked to go to the hospital to heal the tooth.
- Harushki you. Go first to the department: the task of state importance has flown to you -
besieged especial harsh battalion commander. - Here's another ... Treat me with candy ...
The officers who were present screamed loudly, but the elder proudly lifted his head out of the tent.
The laughter suddenly stopped.
On the back of the special person there was a small neat poster with a plain inscription:
- "Comrades militants! Please do not shoot !!! I am an FSB officer for me will give a big ransom."
- Remind me that upon the arrival of the reconnaissance company, I will reprimand the commander ... for violation of the secrecy regime. I am sure this is his work - summed up the battalion commander.

However, the efforts of the special counterintelligence officer were wasted: the ammeter was never detected.
The epic was waning, we had several reviews of future demobels: what if someone takes a demob on himself, they took the most suspicious people in the zindans.
The arriving commission from the district headquarters and checking the reconnaissance battalion did not find any omissions.
The case has died down ...

The meeting was coming to an end again.
He acted as an ax, who cursed the scouts for the fourth month he could not build a bathhouse.
- And I found an ammeter - suddenly an impressionable viceampote suddenly quietly said ...
- Shut up, ssuuukaa - all his lips are hissing.
- By the way, what about the ammeter? - the dozing battalion awoke ...
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  1. Aleks tv
    Aleks tv 3 June 2013 10: 14
    Thanks 3a good army (namely army) humor.
    Just grinned.
    Talentedly written.
  2. Yozhas
    Yozhas 3 June 2013 11: 00
    It is written well, but with bust in my opinion. Already no one knows what an ammeter is, officers trained to handle complex equipment. And why is he to the militants ....? Maybe the ammeter hides under the word SAM, Strela or a box with TNT, for example !!! soldier
    1. Aleks tv
      Aleks tv 3 June 2013 11: 29
      Quote: Hedgehog
      but with bust in my opinion. Not already no one knows what an ammeter is,

      Humor, namesake, solid ARMY humor.
      What is the difference, over what and over whom to cast out? The main thing is to get out! Otherwise you will die of boredom in the PPD.
    2. Mister X
      3 June 2013 16: 37
      under the word ammeter hides the air defense system Strela

      And MTO is not MTO at all, but an analogue of the "Q" department wink

    3. dustycat
      dustycat 20 July 2013 12: 22
      Quote: Hedgehog
      Maybe the ammeter hides under the word SAM, Strela or a box with TNT, for example !!! soldier

      Which on the SAM on Strela on? belay fool
      Gauss gun or railgun, not less. lol
  3. a.hamster55
    a.hamster55 3 June 2013 12: 52
    Well done! Well written. I will try to write soon "ABOUT THE HARM OF DUPLICATION" A case from the life of the military.
  4. individual
    individual 3 June 2013 13: 03
    It is on these "ammeters" measuring the length that a healthy soldier's humor is built.
  5. MiG-31
    MiG-31 6 June 2013 21: 58
    On the back of the special person there was a small neat poster with a plain inscription:
    - "Comrades militants! Please do not shoot !!! I am an FSB officer for me will give a big ransom."
    Thank you, laughed.
  6. Rattenfanger
    Rattenfanger 9 June 2013 18: 49
    Zagortsev is good. Reading it is a pleasure.
  7. slacker
    slacker 22 June 2013 22: 09
    With ammeter brute force. Not funny.
  8. NektoRU
    NektoRU 28 June 2013 12: 58
    Thank! He laughed heartily.
  9. astrofilosof
    astrofilosof 1 July 2013 04: 09
    Quote: individ
    It is on these "ammeters" measuring the length that a healthy soldier's humor is built.

    I agree with luminium.