Military Review


drawing author

- Guys, I met these cool girls today in the garrison shop! - enthusiastically hurried to share his joy Slavka with friends, - they live nearby in the same village, invited me to visit him. Let's go guys, these girls ...

“Well, let's say we go and how will we find them?” Where is this village? - Romka asked.
- Yes, everything is simple: about three kilometers to go along the highway, straight from the checkpoint to the first turn to the left, turn there, go along this road for a bit and put your head in their village, forgot the name. The girls will be waiting for us tonight. Well, let's go?

Slavkin's enthusiasm could not resist. He simply infected them with Romka and Ivan.
“If they are waiting, we must go,” Roma said.
So they decided.

Each of our warriors who yearned for the female gender already represented in her arms a rosy-cheeked, beautiful village girl, saw how passionately he kissed her, how she unbuttoned the buttons ... Eh, would rather wait for the evening. Minutes stretched like a clock. And now, finally, the time has come to act.

After the end, when everyone had calmed down, Romka was wearing one underwear, white underpants and a shirt, so that the person on duty did not suspect anything, walked past his door and went downstairs to the first floor, sort of like a toilet. But he did not enter it, but jumped out into the street. And there is winter, frost, snow. Romka, in his snow-white camouflage attire, secretly, in deep snow, approached a certain place near the barracks. Ivan and Slavka opened the window exactly above him and threw him outerwear, hats, belts, overcoats from the second floor.

Previously, so that the duty officer did not detect that they were not in the barracks, they in their empty bunks made of coats removed from the hanger, something similar to the bodies of sleeping warriors, covered with blankets of their heads.
Slavka and Ivan in underwear, in turn, made the same way past the duty room and the outhouse, as Romka. On the street, in the snow, they all quickly dressed in army style and set off on a journey to the girls, like a most powerful love magnet, in AWOL.

Through the well-known hole in the fence (not through the checkpoints to go to the self-righters), they left the garrison and soon got on the highway leading from the town to Maysk. They had to go along this road, guided by Slavkin’s plan, about three kilometers. And that winter snow poured decently. He was repeatedly cleaned off the road, so the cuvettes along the route were filled up with meter drifts. Our soldiers had to overcome this three-kilometer distance as quickly as possible so that some boss wouldn’t see them from a passing car and wouldn’t give up on the “lip”. They could not take a step to get out of the way in case of danger. Jumping off the track in a snowdrift - and you're stuck on the tonsils in the snow. In short, the risk was great! Therefore, their movement took place on the side of the road at a pace of march to quickly pass this dangerous section.

“I can't run anymore,” Slavka pleaded, “let's rest.”
- Himself we are being agitated, so now be patient, and then, look ahead, they will tie us here on this highway as pretty. While we are lucky, more than one car has not passed by.
“You will rest on Manka,” said Ivan, a friend.
- Her name is Maria, - mumbled with insult in his voice, puffing up, Slavka.

When it was necessary to run half a kilometer before the turn, the sky suddenly brightened ahead of the road and soon from behind the hill, towards the “runners”, a car came up, brightly flashing headlights.
The boys at this moment from fear and excitement pulse zahkalil and hoe shaking!
-All, the scribe came, got stuck! - Roman cried out sadly in their hearts, - this is probably a duty truck from distant patrols carrying a shift.
And the car was getting closer. At first the innocuous rumbling of the engine grew louder and gradually turned into a predatory growl, the headlights shone more and more, our “heroes” were now like actors on stage in the light of powerful searchlights. They walked doomed, now they had no hurry, blinded by the headlights, the unfortunate prepared for the worst.

In theory, in order to stop near them, the driver would have to slow down the engine and brake. But, oddly enough, he did not do this and the car continued to move at the same pace, and soon, having reached them, to the great joy of the self-makers, sped past, having doused them with clouds of steam and snow dust. It turns out that it was the last night bus from Maysk, almost empty.
- Fu-you, carried, I thought - that's all, that's lucky, - Ivan breathed a sigh of relief.
- Early rejoice, we need as soon as possible to fade from this route. We rested a bit, so let's get our feet in hand and forward, there was nothing left before the turn - three hundred meters, - Romka commanded, - and then the next car will definitely be ours.

When they turned onto an adjacent road leading to the village, they first stopped and took a breath. Looked around. Somewhere far away, in the dark, the town flickered with lights - this is most likely the village where they were going. Being in pitch darkness, in the open field, was somehow uncomfortable and creepy, so friends rushed to the beckoning lights, like moths at the light of a lamp.

It had been going on for a long time, everything was in the soap, and the lights were absolutely not approaching - as they were somewhere far away, they remained on the horizon.
- It seems to me that you have messed up something, - Romka expressed his displeasure, turning to Slavka. - You said that from the road to the village is very close, and we have been walking for half an hour and no village in front is observed.
“How is it not observed,” Slavka made an excuse, “the lights are burning.”
- Yes, before those lights still saw and saw - is it near?

They walked another twenty or twenty-five minutes until they reached the first houses. The street was poorly lit, the windows in the houses did not shine, the peasants were already sleeping without their hind legs. Only dogs truly carried their service and invariably barked at strangers.
- Well, where is your Manka living? - asked Slavka Roman.
- The fifth house on the right, as you enter the village, she explained to me.

The house was found quickly, but the light in the windows did not burn. The dog was flooded.
- Well what are we going to do? Where is your Masha? - asked Romka.
“I'll knock on the window now,” Slava answered.
He tapped gently on the window. Lights up. A huge man appeared in the window, probably his father.
- Whats up? - he asked terribly.
- Does Masha live here, can you see her? - Slavka asked politely and somehow plaintively.
- She's dancing at the House of Culture.
- Where is it?
- At the end of the street. If you go, you will see, and added with displeasure: “Everybody goes there at night, they don’t give me sleep.

The House of Culture shone with lights - you will not pass by. A few naked, steamed from the wine and dancing guys smoked at the entrance.
Our friends boldly went inside. Played music. Part of the young people rhythmically twitched in the center, while the rest surrounded them with a dense ring.

Slavka immediately found his Maria and went to her. They talked about something, while Romka and Ivan stood aside and it was felt that they became objects of close attention of local girls. Our valiant warriors, too, did not remain in debt and fired at the girls with a cursory fire, while finding some suitable good targets.

- You, bitch, for what I gave the last time in my face, bastard? - yelled over the music shouting over the drunken long guy, obviously turning to Ivan.
“Yes, I'm here for the first time, you are confusing something, my friend,” Ivan tried to explain to him.
- What are you singing to me here, scum, I remember you well, I did not let up a long one, trying to grab Ivan with my hands. “Come, come out, sort it out,” he screamed.

Maria intervened, trying to convince a boy who had fallen away that these soldiers had never been here, that he had a fight last time with a builder from a construction battalion, asked to leave the pilots alone and so on, but none of the local people wanted to hear it.
“Guys, I'm sorry, but you'd better get out of here quickly, you see what their condition is, they are insane,” said Maria to the soldiers with regret. Our soldiers had to retire. When they went out into the street, a whole crowd of local drunken guys were rushing after them. Immediately a fight began. Someone hit Ivan in the face, someone hit Ivan. On the back he pushed well with a picket.

Romka shouted: - Run!
And they rushed away down the street. Ivan was the last to run, and a smart fellow with a shaketina pulled away from the crowd. Ivan deliberately slowed down, and when the "Shustrik" almost caught him, he suddenly stopped. The local man swung a stick to strike, but Ivan outstripped him by passing a lightning hook to the right of the jaw. The shustrik's head shook sharply from side to side, the brains foamed and he fell face down into the snow.

“You won’t wag the stick, you jerk,” Ivan shouted and quickly ran away from the villagers who were attacking him, following their comrades.
The heat of the drunk catch-up company was enough for a short time - soon the “local” stopped the chase.
When colleagues stopped to take a breath, Romka, breathing heavily, checking his teeth with his finger and spitting blood, said:
- Cool went for the women! Well at least in time they fled! Are all intact?
“There are no casualties,” Ivan answered for all.
- Listen, Slav, well, did you at least hold Masha for a boob or you ass stroked her once there? - He turned to his friend. - Say "yes" - we will not be so offended, it seems as if we were in vain. And then - girlfriends are waiting, girlfriends are waiting ... Such a hot meeting was arranged for us - they barely took off their legs!
- Yes, and where are the girls, in all these goats are local guilty, - Vyacheslav justified.
- Okay, enough for you to arrange disassembly, we still need to safely return to the part. Breathed and good. We drove on, - Romka commanded.

And again, they walked for an hour in the darkness to the road, sharing the path of vivid impressions of the village. When approached shosseyke, it was somewhere in the region of two o'clock in the morning ...
“In an hour we will lie in our warm beds and a couple of hours with a pine-tree to the ascent,” said Slavka dreamily.

How strange this world is. More recently, they rushed from this hated barracks to the will, to the girlfriends for a date, and now everything has changed with exactly the opposite - give them the barracks.
“Do not say“ op ”until you jump over,” interrupted the dreams of his friend Romka, “the most dangerous moment of our expedition is now coming — these damned three kilometers to the unit.

To run at a pace of the forced march of our troops had no strength. They barely dragged their feet, sticking their tongues out. But the time is late — there are few machines — they must break through.
When the self-propelled guns had already covered more than half of the way and, as it seemed to them, all that remained was nothing — the target was close, the light of an approaching car suddenly flashed from behind. As they at this moment wanted to be buried in the snow, somewhere to hide, disappear, become invisible! They feel cornered animals, who have no way out, which is now caught and lead to a slaughterhouse!
With a sinking heart listened to the noise of the engine samovolschiki approaching car. By the sound of the engine, it was clearly a passenger car, which is the worst of all - there is probably some big army rank in it. A car is getting closer, closer ... Here the driver resets the momentum slows.

- That's it, come! - bitterly strained Romka.
The Volga slowly, crushing snow crushing, drove around the frightened soldiers and, flashing red lanterns, stopped in front of them. Opened the front door and, as expected, the car looked middle-aged lieutenant colonel.

- Come on, quickly in the car, - he told the officer, pointing to the back door.
There is no place to go, even though I want to refuse private - they say, thank you very much, Comrade Colonel for your care, but we’ll do it, somehow, slowly, so you can’t, the order must be carried out. Therefore, the poor fellows, with a view of humility and doom, took their places in the back seat and the car rushed to the garrison.
“What part are you from?” Asked the officer.
- We are from the "piece of wood", - timidly said Romka.

Turning to the passengers in the back seat, a lieutenant colonel, smiling, he said:
- You guys, do not worry, I will not sell you. You are in a normal state, frankly returning to their part for what punish you? What am i what beast? I myself, I remember, as a young man, being a cadet at AWOL ran to her friends.
Only now, our soldiers noticed that the Colonel is in high spirits, drunk and cheerful. It turns out, he returned by taxi from Mayskoye, where it was quite obvious, great walk.

- Well, to barracks "of wood" I am you, the men, not to take. Drove through a checkpoint in the town, and there get yourself. Arranges? - asked the officer.
- Of course, Comrade Colonel, - emboldened, said Roman.
He was in this branch of friends, sort of, for the eldest.

Fly to the checkpoint. The barrier was lowered and the taxi stopped. Another exciting moment came for the soldiers in the backseat - what if the colonel changed his mind and now will hand them over, or they will be interested at the checkpoint about the soldiers driving around at night by taxi. A sleepy sergeant jumped out of the booth, seeing the officer in the car, he without a word lifted the striped tube.

Departed from the entrance, Colonel, as he had promised, landed troops and went to his home.
- Here is a man! - Slava said admiringly.
- Yes, we were lucky. This is probably a pilot from a distant regiment aviation. Some staff officer in his place would immediately send us to a jail, ”Roman suggested.

Happy friends in a couple of minutes, carefully climbed the stairs to the second floor of his beloved barracks. The officer on duty in a part slept in his room, and the green daytime officer was dozing, standing at the nightstand, and, opening his eyes, could not understand how three dressed colleagues could come from the street when no one went out or he overslept that moment .

- You did not see us, understood? - Said Romka salaga.
“Yes, I didn’t see it,” scaredly and with chagrin, with his head down, he repeated the elementary one, thinking that it was a test and now he, for “not seeing a way out” and overslept, would be seriously punished.
- You have never seen a miracle, that if someone asks usok? - Roma explained.
“Oh, I get it,” the guard replied happily.

Having thrown off outer clothing, in their white jointed suits, three comrades, already on completely legal grounds, went down to the toilet and, having lit a cigarette, calmly, with pleasure, sucked in the details of the adventures that they had to go through in the last few hours.

But Ivan was not satisfied with this stupid campaign. Firstly, the main goal - to talk with the girls, was not achieved. Secondly, the village men were barely slapped on the head - it was possible to suffer greatly. Third, the road could easily be arrested and put on the "lip" just lucky. And how much energy was spent - two hours were slapped there and back as much as idiots at night, instead of sleeping for themselves, quietly, in a bed.

- No, we do not need such a self-feed - made himself concluded Ivan.

When it was still quite warm, it was then that he and Romka together went to AWOL and went. The goal was set and they achieved it - there was something to risk.
Behind the airfield, kolkhoz gardens were located. Once Ivan and Roman, after lights out, took the knapsacks and went for the fruit. The most dangerous was the moment when, in order to shorten the way, they had to cross the parking lot of the long-range Tu-22 bombers, because there the aircraft were guarded by sentries with Kalashnikovs from the company of guards.

- Stop, who goes? I'll shoot! - The watch responded to their appearance.
- Fuck you to hell, you do not see - his coming? - cut off his Romka.

In fact, friends took great risks. A security company is a separate foreign unit and self-made from “wood” there, of course, nobody knows. So the concept of "their" was likely a fraud, what they "own"? Then there are some chuchmeks from mountain villages, which cost nothing to shoot an enemy who has violated the border of the post. Strelnot, and its then still for this holiday home the award. How many such cases have been. They fired from fear, killed people, and then drove themselves home quietly.

Hour, making out that soldiers are calmed down and asked:
- Where are you going?
- Yes, we're going for apples in the collective gardens, - said Ivan.
- Back'll go, do not forget about me - told them, smiling gunner.

The gardens were guarded by dogs, so there is not so easy proniknesh. An old man under seventy came to the barking. He was very happy to see the soldiers. It was probably boring for him to pass the night alone.

- Come on, soldiers, I'll show you where you can collect the most good apples and pears, - he said.
Ivan Romka with stuffed bellies and backpacks themselves to the eyeballs.

Then the watchman called them to drink tea by the fire. Initially, the grandfather has asked the soldier how to serve them, and then began his story:

- We're with you, we can say colleagues, I, too, during the war he served in aviation, aircraft mechanic. Therefore, most likely, and remained alive, still airfield This is not progressive and do not need to attack the bullets go. They bombed us sometimes, several people were killed, but I was lucky to Germany reached and remained alive. Orders are not received, but thanks for that.

Order we mainly pilots received, our falcon fighter. So they risked their young lives. Do not have time to get used to the pilot, and it is no more alive. How many of them changed during the whole war.

We had one pilot and captain, I do not remember the name, and so with him one day there was an interesting case. During a patrol over the front line on his Yak, our pilot discovered the Hitlerite bomber Dornier and decided to attack it. All ammunition spent, and he, bitch, flies. The captain decided to ram the reptile. Getting close to the enemy under the fire of his machine guns was not an easy task. And when the "Yak" had already begun to shred the bomber's rear tail with a screw, he unexpectedly made a sharp maneuver, he probably wanted to dodge the blow, but somehow it turned out that our fighter was on top of the Fritz fuselage. The propeller "Yak", having cut through the lining of the enemy in the area of ​​the center section, firmly grappled with the frame of the Nazi aircraft, and the wings lay straight on the huge planes of the enemy. Having saddled a bomber, our pilot tried, moving the rudders, to detach himself from Fritz, but in vain. So they flew for some time in one bundle, until the Dornier, the roofing felts under the influence of an exorbitant load, the roofing felts because of the damaged rudders, began to move steeper and steeper towards the ground. Our pilot, seeing that the situation was bad, left the fighter’s cabin and opened the parachute. He saw a ball of fire on the ground at the site where planes fell, and four parachutes of the crew of a German bomber in the air.

The landing took place on our territory, and all the parachutists were captured by the Red Army and taken to the headquarters of the infantry unit. Our pilot tried to explain that he was ramming a German plane, but they did not believe him and considered a saboteur whom the enemy bomber had to throw to us in the rear.

“First of all, no one saw any fighter,” the major explained to him with hatred in his eyes, “you all jumped out of the bomber.” Second, the German anti-aircraft gunners shot down our, not you bastard. Dressed up in our form, decorations pinned, you bastard, and I thought that no one will catch. I would put all the creeps against the wall, but, unfortunately, I have no right! Here come the authorities and will deal with you as expected.

While our pilot was sitting with the Germans locked up in the barn, came smershevtsy. They took the prisoners to their office. There the captain had to tell again how everything was, he asked the counterintelligence agents to contact his part. They contacted, found out that there is one. His brother-soldiers arrived behind him, traveled with the Sidra citizens to the site of the crash of the aircraft and were convinced that there were burned debris not only of the bomber but also of the Yak fighter.

“Then, for the ram, the captain was awarded another order,” the old man finished. history.
Saying goodbye to the veteran, thanking him for the fruit, the soldiers went in the opposite direction. On the way they treated the sentry to apples and pears. He was unspeakably happy and immediately began to use them for their intended purpose, although the sentries at the post were forbidden in the performance of their duties to drink, smoke, talk, and even more so enjoy the juicy, sweet fruits.

And Romka and Ivan barely doped heavy backpacks to the barracks. They threw them into the capter and exalted fatigue and desire to sleep, however, went to wash and clean their boots. After all, if in the morning on examination the foreman sees dirty boots on them, he will immediately realize that they were walking somewhere at night after the end of the day and then the punishment is inevitable.

But the foreman and did not have to look at their shoes, you can not catch it, and without this they quickly exposed them. First of all, having organized the ascent, he darted into the farter - and there stand two, stuffed to the top with selected apples and pears, a duffel bag.

- Where is it from? - He asked menacingly at the soldiers who were shaving in the bungalow with electric shavers.
“Yes, it was Belov who sent the parcel, comrade foreman,” they lied.
- Oh, the package is good! So, I take one duffel bag and leave the other to you.

He, of course, understood everything - when these parcels in the bags were sent, but if the samolovshchiki were not caught, it means that the good fellows, and for so many beautiful fruits, you can close their deeds and eyes. The rider quickly grabbed the knapsack and to avoid unnecessary meeting with his masters, quickly escaped from the barracks - dragged the prey to his home.

But Ivan and Roman were pleased with this turn of events. In short - everyone is happy: the foreman, the samolovchiki, the guard in the garden, the guard in the parking lot, and the guys from the squadron. After all, rarely soldiers for service manage to feast on juicy, fragrant fruit.
Here it was an AWOL so AWOL! Nice to remember!
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  1. Yozhas
    Yozhas 31 May 2013 11: 31
    16 th
    As far as I know before conscripts poured bromide into tea and kissel so that the hell wouldn’t stand and they wouldn’t climb local girls !!!!!!!
  2. sichevik
    sichevik 31 May 2013 11: 49
    I heard stories about bromine. And in our part they talked about him. But in my opinion it's all the same tales. Horseradish was fine. It’s just happened that you run so fast, crawl and jump in the day that you think least of all about local girls. Yes, and I served in the GSVG, and there it was not very often possible to communicate with local girls.
    Py. Sy. He served in the years 1983-1985.
    1. Uruska
      Uruska 20 June 2013 15: 35
      Here vitamins are sometimes added. And the doctor joked that bromine is ...
  3. Misantrop
    Misantrop 31 May 2013 12: 00
    Quote: sichevik
    And in our part they talked about him.
    The only thing that I saw on this topic was that the doctor was distributing Hexavit multivitamins in banks in autonomous units. On the control panel of the power plant, this was constantly, they swallowed a little. And there was always a joker who corrected the first letter of the name, so it read "Sexavit" laughing
    1. viclik50
      31 May 2013 13: 08
      There is such a joke. Two elderly veterans met. One asks:
      “Do you remember that they gave us pills in the army so that women wouldn't be pulled?”
      Another replies:
      - I remember.
      The first one says:
      - So, it seems, they began to act ...
      Maybe they gave something, but somehow I didn’t feel it on myself in the army.
  4. Old warrant officer
    Old warrant officer 31 May 2013 12: 59
    Quote: Hedgehog
    As far as I know before conscripts poured bromide into tea and kissel so that the hell wouldn’t stand and they wouldn’t climb local girls !!!!!!!

    Nonsense is complete! And I myself traveled 300 km from Khabarovsk for the caviar, I was never caught! It was scary and interesting!
  5. Committee
    Committee 31 May 2013 13: 33
    And at us they were so torn (girls) that the fur coat was wrapped up!
  6. hramckov2012
    hramckov2012 31 May 2013 14: 30
    "the call of 3,14zdy is stronger than the commander's will" over this dictum is not imperious not time is not brom
  7. individual
    individual 31 May 2013 15: 18
    Each real man has his own memories of how he went to the village to Masha. Most had fights with civilians.
    But the words from the humoresque of Mikhail Evdokimov are recalled:
    "And we drove the city to the very der soldier hi euny !.
  8. Uruska
    Uruska 20 June 2013 15: 34
    It was nice to read and remember your young years and, of course, AWOL! ...
  9. Balagan
    Balagan 11 November 2016 15: 53
    And we ran into a motor vehicle at night in the depot canteen. She was around the clock.