"The enemy is at the gates, so we're all gathering in one building": a surreal scene from a meeting in Iran

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"The enemy is at the gates, so we're all gathering in one building": a surreal scene from a meeting in Iran

The war against Iran, as well as the Islamic Republic's retaliatory measures, continues. In terms of the relative losses in the military and political leadership of Israel (and the United States, too) and Iran, it's currently a one-sided game. You can sympathize with one side of the conflict and dislike the other (and in any direction), but the fact remains: the overthrow of the government and high-ranking military officials is possible, and no international norms or rules apply. Who needs such norms and rules today?

At this point, according to Western media reports citing American and Israeli commanders, Iran has lost not only Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei but also a whole group of senior commanders, including the IRGC commander, the head of intelligence, the minister of defense, and the chief of the general staff. The list runs to 40 people. Moreover, most of them were allegedly attending a meeting in a building within the military establishment.



If all this is really true, and if Iran's military leadership was killed overnight during an operational meeting as a result of the strike missiles (while the reports don't say which one exactly), the picture is very, very surreal.

Here's what it looks like – in simple terms. All positions, conversations, and remarks are fictitious, and any similarities are purely coincidental...

Somewhere in the office, a big boss:

"Colleagues, the enemy has formed a powerful armada around us, with dozens of warships and hundreds of military aircraft. They don't hide the fact that they could begin bombing at any time. They are at our gates. So let's all gather at the same time in the same place to discuss all of this. If anyone can't come, let them stay home in their bedrooms."

One of the subordinates:

"Of course. This is a truly sensible decision, bordering on genius. We will all gather in a building in the capital. Specifically, the one that is well known to everyone, even outside the country."

Someone from the high ranks of the troops Defense:

"I fully support this. Even if the missiles do fly our way, we'll still have time to finish our tea."

One of the subordinates:

"There's absolutely no reason to worry about anything. After all, as the Supreme Leader instructed us, we should have four or five deputies; they'll replace us if necessary."

This is the case when you just want to say:

This is so surreal!

Even if we discard everything that is presented as the ultimate truth, as well as the recklessness portrayed, the elimination of the generals will in any case come down to flight time. And it is not three seconds, as Western or Israeli publications suggest.

That is, either the negligence, coupled with recklessness and extreme fatalism, was truly unprecedented, or the US and Israel simultaneously conducted another operation, resulting in the Islamic Republic losing its top military and political leadership. And if for Iran, the existence of the state cannot be reduced to the thesis "no one is irreplaceable" and "you can change horses at any crossing, even when the mud is up to your neck," then the alarm signal for Tehran and the entire security structure of its Persian partners is clear.
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  1. 20+
    1 March 2026 12: 50
    The CIA and Mossad are experts at these kinds of assassinations. Some people might consider it, but apparently they've been thinking for a long time.
    1. +7
      1 March 2026 12: 56
      They will think about when they themselves will be eliminated, and this time is clearly not far off.
      1. 0
        1 March 2026 13: 05
        Putin responded to a question about the possibility of assassinating Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei.
        https://vk.com/video-228360395_456321641?t=2s
        1. +8
          1 March 2026 13: 58
          The US and Israel have good intelligence services.

          I have a question...What is the size of their fifth column among us?
          1. -9
            1 March 2026 14: 00
            Maduro was dealt with by a donkey with gold, given the country's poverty. There are religious fanatics here, and they can't be bribed. All that's left is to sweet-talk them, which is what they want to hear. If it worked twice in Istanbul, he'll be facing a weaker opponent here.
          2. +9
            1 March 2026 14: 14
            Quote: Ilya-spb
            What is the size of their fifth column among us?

            More than Iran.
          3. +1
            1 March 2026 16: 00
            I think more. After all, this is the only way to destroy generals.
          4. +8
            1 March 2026 17: 40
            Judging by the pile of exculpatory, sycophantic articles in the media and stupid statements about the inadmissibility of destroying the Ruin's energy system, the Ukrainian railway network, the Ukrainian bridges across the Dnieper, and other bullshit about the benefits of deals... we have traitors in abundance.
          5. +1
            2 March 2026 00: 56
            What is the size of their fifth column among us?

            You can do a rough calculation: it = the gold and foreign exchange reserves that were confiscated from us + how much the oligarchs stole from officials and took away + I recently read an article that said that for 25 years we had a trade surplus of about $150 billion a year, so that goes in the trash too...
            In short, the fifth column can be considered to be all those who have withdrawn and keep capital in the West, and who facilitate its withdrawal.
            Brzezinski also spoke about them, whose elite they are...
    2. +7
      1 March 2026 13: 25
      Isn't it the same everywhere? All over the planet...

      There are notices everywhere telling where to run in case of a drone/missile attack—to shelters... damn genius. They'd need to pack like sardines into a barrel of, say, 10 houses into 1 shelters or cover, dig one massive bunker, a metro station, or herd students into a single school gym like in Iran... In short, "brilliant" plans for saving the population. So that 1 missiles would definitely be enough for everyone.
      The military and emergency response ministry's mentality in most countries is ossified from past wars, when killing someone required getting within range of a machine gun, not flying a drone from 1000 kilometers away. Security forces don't know how to adapt. Instead of dispersing, they concentrate; instead of spreading out, they huddle together for meetings; they line up vehicles in columns, and if a column gets stuck, everyone stops and starts pulling it out, dying under drone fire (incidentally, this has happened).

      Comrade Darwin gives them a standing ovation and awards them prizes.
      Although logic says that in order to kill a million people in a city, you need either nuclear weapons or the population to be concentrated in several points, and then you can use conventional weapons.
      1. 0
        1 March 2026 20: 14
        Good day, you seem to have forgotten that the authorities have shut down the internet across the country. That's the reason for the gathering in person... and the rat next to the beacon... The landing and that's it... And even then, it's not a fact that they died... You can write anything.
    3. +7
      1 March 2026 15: 42
      When you build an entire government on the principle that "Allah will provide everything," these are the consequences.
    4. -2
      1 March 2026 18: 26
      Quote: dementor873
      The CIA and Mossad are experts at such assassinations.

      Mossad yes, but what does the CIA have to do with it?
      1. +1
        1 March 2026 18: 56
        Well, they kidnapped Maduro.
        1. 0
          1 March 2026 19: 04
          Quote: dementor873
          Well, they kidnapped Maduro.

          It was most likely military intelligence that was involved. It's not a given, of course. The CIA and Mossad are simply not comparable, especially in terms of the quality of their personnel.
  2. +6
    1 March 2026 12: 51
    At the moment, if we are to believe the reports of Western media, citing the American and Israeli command

    Well, if you believe, then yes... Faith is something that can be acquired.
  3. +4
    1 March 2026 12: 54
    either the US and Israel carried out another operation in parallel with the strikes

    The Iranian Stauffenberg's suitcase?
    1. -2
      1 March 2026 15: 37
      Conspiracy theories are all well and good, but there's a basis for such a theory. Iran is a multi-ethnic country. The north of the country could reasonably be called Southern Azerbaijan. Azerbaijanis and related ethnic groups make up 22% of Iran's population. The country's president is an ethnic Azerbaijani (who, incidentally, was not present at this meeting). Azerbaijanis are a very specific nationality. Their mentality is largely similar to Ukrainians (including their everyday attitude toward religion, despite being Muslims). A common trait they share with Ukrainians is their adherence to the principle that "betraying in time (especially in anticipation of possible material gain) is not betrayal, but foresight." Because of this characteristic, Iran has so many "enemy informants" and simply "waiters" for secular power and the secular order. And the "Iranian Stauffenberg's suitcase" scenario is entirely possible.
      1. +1
        2 March 2026 12: 45
        In general, Azerbaijanis are a very unique nationality. Their mentality is in many ways similar to Ukrainians (including their everyday attitudes toward religion, despite being Muslims).

        They're Turks. No need to invent anything. And there never were any Ukrainians. They're the same Russians who were told they weren't Russian and were better than Russians.
  4. +4
    1 March 2026 12: 55
    All of this, of course, could be as the author writes. And it's even easier to believe, since similar things have happened many times before in wars. But on the other hand, why do the same mistakes keep being repeated?

    Today, it's clear that the time of stationary headquarters is over. As, incidentally, are the days of General Staffs housed in a single building in the capitals. It's a complete anachronism. Perhaps that's why such nonsense is so hard to believe. But it's constantly repeated, while it's clear that the General Staff, the Headquarters, or any major command center shouldn't remain in one place, but should be mobile and as far removed from public view as possible, hidden in the most secluded areas. Because bunkers are now relative refuge, and most importantly, they keep the leadership in one place, making them a target.

    But why can't Iran target Israel's leadership? That's not an obvious question either. Perhaps the Jews are actually on the move, waging an active information war, sowing disinformation.

    But Iran can play the game, too. Perhaps its leadership isn't so battered, if it's battered at all. "Convince your enemy of your weakness, and exploit it," goes one line from "The Art of War."

    I don't think things are as clear-cut as Israel and the US are proclaiming. But I'm also not as optimistic as Iran is proclaiming. After all, we've seen time and again that both Israel and the US are masters of information warfare.

    In any case, Iran has not yet lost, and only the future will tell who will win.
    1. 0
      1 March 2026 13: 11
      Quote: Vladlous
      any large control center should not stand in one place, but should move

      Ideally, it should be distributed in space.
    2. 0
      1 March 2026 16: 04
      I read that when the operation began, the Israeli leader boarded a plane and took off. Try finding him there on his own territory.
  5. +3
    1 March 2026 12: 58
    They have learned nothing from last year's assassination of the Chief of the General Staff and other high-ranking officials.
    Are you unteachable or something?
    Where does such self-confidence come from?
    Tehran is simply stuffed with agents and useful idiots like garbage cats with fleas.
    But no one sees them point-blank.
    Is it really such a blind faith, bordering on recklessness, in something that the Almighty will not allow?
  6. +3
    1 March 2026 13: 06
    And we'll discuss and gather all this, on cell phones... and let's get together before the weekend so everyone can. Apparently, the local Peskov decided...
  7. +1
    1 March 2026 13: 12
    I do not support the editor-in-chief's mockery.
    As if our generals are saints.
    The editor-in-chief is wisely silent about this.

    But the positive effects of rejuvenating the top military leadership could be worth discussing, given historical experience.
    1. 0
      1 March 2026 19: 35
      As if our generals are saints.

      And not just the generals. Just think of one famous chef who, after the mess he'd made, was still traveling peacefully on his own private jet, along with his deputy, who, unlike his boss, was, as they say, a veteran of special operations and therefore should have known better than anyone the principle: "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." This knowledge could have been very useful to him personally, but alas...
  8. +3
    1 March 2026 13: 14
    The US did what it wanted—it removed the top brass. Now they'll see how the system behaves without it. If it continues to resist, they'll continue to destroy. Although, judging by the opening of the Strait, the system has decided not to risk the West's bombs.

    In short, the internet and telegram ban didn't really help Iran's elites. laughing
    1. -1
      1 March 2026 13: 31
      Quote: Ivan F
      Now they'll see how the system behaves without her. If she continues to resist, they'll continue to destroy her.

      They've already seen enough of this with the British following 2003 in Iraq, a war against everyone, then ISIS armed with American weapons and military equipment, led by officers from Hussein's former army, marching briskly across the Middle East.
      ISIS 2.0, born from the ruins of Iran, will march forward more vigorously, and the directions may be varied, and something tells me it will go to the "rich Pinocchios" on the opposite side of the Persian Gulf...
      1. 0
        1 March 2026 13: 39
        "That it will go to the 'rich Pinocchios' on the opposite side of the Persian Gulf..." - but I think that if "it" does go, it will be either against China or/and against us. Sponsored, in fact, from this very Gulf.
        The border there is a dream for the Americans – huge with Turkmenistan, Azerbaijan, Armenia. Plus Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq. They could create such an ISIS there that the location would be a fairy tale for the Americans.
        1. +1
          1 March 2026 14: 03
          Quote: Ivan F
          "That it will go to the 'rich Pinocchios' on the opposite side of the Persian Gulf..." - but I think that if "it" does go, it will be either against China or/and against us. Sponsored, in fact, from this very Gulf.

          "This is all just ordinary talk." (c)
          The Middle East's energy resources are the lifeblood of the economies of the US's economic competitors in Europe and the Asia-Pacific region. If the Anglo-Saxons stage a "bloodbath" in the Middle East, the EU and developed Asia-Pacific countries will suffer first and foremost. The Anglo-Saxons themselves will have plenty of energy from Venezuela and the Mexican scoundrels.
          Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, and the UAE will suffer the most, as they are locked in the Persian Gulf. Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Oman will manage to get by a little, unless Iran and the Houthis attack oil and gas production facilities, ports, and pipelines in the Middle East.
  9. +3
    1 March 2026 13: 19
    Or maybe they, there in Iran, are just clinical idiots, right?
  10. 0
    1 March 2026 13: 19
    And thoughts arise: What is more effective: to destroy the country's government or to destroy its army?
    Russia is destroying the army, the Anglo-Saxons, and the West is destroying the government. Which is more effective? Which will end the war faster and, overall, kill fewer people while achieving results?

    Iran is an ally of Russia and a strike against it is a strike against us.
    1. -2
      1 March 2026 13: 25
      It depends on what results you're looking for. Missiles aimed at the command and control apparatus are unlikely to help move the boundaries.
      1. 0
        1 March 2026 13: 30
        We (I) need Ukraine's loyalty to Russia, and you?
        ..
        Loyalty is the willingness of a person or organization to remain loyal to a particular product, brand, company, or government. It's a positive attitude that manifests itself in repeat purchases, recommendations, and enduring relationships.

        A change in leadership can change the direction of a country. That's what the Americans are doing.
        1. 0
          1 March 2026 13: 55
          "Ukraine's loyalty to Russia" is something out of science fiction for the next hundred years; we need to base our thinking on reality, not fantasy.
          A change in leadership could change the direction of the state.

          Which can wipe out the population, as happened in Afghanistan not so many years ago.
          1. +2
            1 March 2026 14: 37
            A fallacy based on emotions. Recent wars are said to last 10 to 40 years.
            Afghanistan is a quasi-state (not quite a centralized state) where power is concentrated in Kabul, while clans and customs rule the territories. And the West can't do anything about it.
        2. 0
          1 March 2026 18: 15
          Do you really believe the Ukrainians will become loyal to us? All we have to do is turn the TV down and their relatives, standing in the cemeteries, will think it was the Poles who gave them this treatment?
          1. 0
            2 March 2026 09: 38
            relatives standing in cemeteries

            but it's only 50 thousand 🫣
            Despite major losses, Germany changed its attitude towards its neighbors over the past 20-30 years.
  11. +2
    1 March 2026 13: 23
    Although there was no general plan, they apparently studied the experience of the SVO...
    1. +1
      1 March 2026 20: 35
      They just haven't had time to organize the formations yet. Ours stupid people It seems that those in high rank did not suffer such punishment for such constructions.
  12. +2
    1 March 2026 13: 24
    Of course, the Eastern flavor of power leaves an indelible mark. Why don't we get these "options" that help us destroy ourselves?
    1. +3
      1 March 2026 14: 02
      Quote: sleeve
      Of course, the oriental flavor of power leaves an indelible mark.

      There's simply no critical thinking in systems of power that remain unchangeable. Everything rests on a very narrow circle of leaders at the start, and this circle ages and begins to think rigidly and make mistakes.
      Subordinates only need to be sycophants to advance. And sycophants are also greedy for money.
      Accordingly, to infiltrate a hostile agent into such a hierarchy, you don't need to be talented in any way. Simply constantly praise the leader and prostrate yourself before them, and their career advancement and trust are assured, and they'll then pull others along. And when enough of them gather, they begin a coordinated effort to purge the leader's entourage of talented and critical thinkers.
      An unchangeable government beyond criticism is simply a godsend for the enemy's special services.
      1. 0
        2 March 2026 09: 40
        An unchangeable government beyond criticism is simply a godsend for the enemy's special services.

        Well, that will change 😇
  13. 0
    1 March 2026 13: 27
    If you don't force all kinds of metaphysics out of politics, that's how it will be! Relying on some higher power, brotherhood-friendship, heavenly protection, and so on makes you victimized (or even dead). All of Israel's neighbors live in their own emerald (green) world, and neither victory nor defeat changes them. And may Allah be with them! The irrationality of our government frightens me.
  14. +2
    1 March 2026 13: 30
    In general, anyone who knows Persians a little, it's them. They're slobs.
  15. +1
    1 March 2026 13: 40
    Classic military theory: destroying the enemy's command and control system. We rely on some other theory.
  16. +1
    1 March 2026 13: 43
    Gathering the entire top brass in one place is a classic example for intelligence agencies like the Mossad or the CIA. It would have been enough to plant disinformation that Putin himself would be waiting in Tehran, in a secret courtyard behind the garages of the Rahbar residence, with a ready-made "nuclear umbrella" plan.
    You can sneer all you want, but when an existential crisis looms overhead, you'll start praying to Cthulhu or a suitcase with a red button. Don't blame it all on the stupidity of Iranian officials. People have simply been methodically pressured, driven into a psychological corner. To us, sitting on the couch with potato chips, everything seems like an obvious trap. But there, in "besieged fortress" mode, any straw seems like a lifeline.
  17. +3
    1 March 2026 14: 24
    This isn't surreal, it's pure idiocy. There's nothing to comment on.
  18. +2
    1 March 2026 14: 42
    The Jews tell Trump what to do and Putin what not to do.
  19. -2
    1 March 2026 15: 46
    Well, why not? They were supposedly promised paradise for their martyrs. So, I don't think they were too upset.
    1. +2
      1 March 2026 18: 29
      Quote from AdAstra
      Well, why not? They seem to be promised paradise for being martyrs.

      Your reasoning is apolitical. They didn't count themselves among the martyrs, because why would they need heaven in heaven if they already have it on earth?
  20. 0
    1 March 2026 17: 41
    During the last war, Iran had experience when scientists and political figures were destroyed on its territory.
    It can't be that they are stepping on the same rake.
    It might be staged.
    After all, Iran is still resisting and it doesn't look like it has lost control.
    And the mattresses were told what they wanted to hear.
    During the last war, everyone also oppressed Iran, but it still fought back.
    Maybe this time everything will be okay. (As much as possible)
    At least until next time. Because the striped and hexagonal devils won't back down.
  21. +1
    1 March 2026 18: 03
    If these leaders allowed this to happen and were actually busted, then there was nothing to be done with them. Bring in new ones. Maybe they'll be smarter.
  22. 0
    1 March 2026 18: 05
    Quote: Ilya-spb

    I have a question...What is the size of their fifth column among us?

    What matters is not the size, but the level of power at which it has established itself.
  23. -2
    1 March 2026 18: 22
    The author's astonishment is frankly laughable. An ancient old man sat in power; he couldn't understand your internet, and it frightened him like something incomprehensible, because the damned Zionists would eavesdrop on everything and infect us with some kind of virus... Therefore, only in-person meetings every day, several hours long, and everyone is required to attend. And it doesn't matter whether someone is needed at the meeting or not. Everyone is expected to show up, bringing only paper documents, no electronic devices. Therefore, every official is accompanied by a horde of assistants and secretaries who prepare documents in case the ayatollah suddenly asks about the milk yield per hectare of fallow land. And in this whole cavalcade, someone could easily be found who will inform the right people about the time and place...
  24. 0
    1 March 2026 18: 46
    Who needs these norms and rules today?

    Only we, everyone else, especially the West, don’t give a damn about it.
  25. -1
    1 March 2026 19: 10
    The logic there was simpler. Ramadan wasn't over yet, negotiations were ongoing, and it was Shabbat. They weren't going to attack on that day, were they?
  26. +1
    1 March 2026 19: 54
    Oh, no, blah blah, but ours didn't arrive for an awards ceremony or a meeting, and I also remember the scumbags who housed the mobilized Samara soldiers in the technical school building. It's the Americans or the Jews who can resolve all their issues remotely, but everyone else is either sent via deep mail or in a single office, oh, I forgot, via telegram. There are no other channels, I didn't have time for such trivialities.
  27. 0
    2 March 2026 06: 07
    There's some kind of carelessness and stupidity. They all seem to be experienced.
  28. 0
    2 March 2026 07: 02
    "The overthrow of the government and high-ranking military officials is possible, and no international norms or rules apply in this case. Who needs these norms and rules today anyway?"
    Probably, we only need them, especially in the context of our
  29. +1
    2 March 2026 11: 04
    This is so surreal!
    Exactly.
    There are two things to note here:
    1. Iran (unlike 2025) responded almost immediately and there was no confusion or disorganization.
    2. Two or three weeks before the start of the aggression, there was news that the entire top military-political leadership of Iran had appointed their successors in the event of their death. (!)

    I heard a version that Iran's former spiritual leader, Khamenei, was a proponent of reaching an agreement with the West. And Iran's entire military-political framework was designed to support this policy.
    However, this policy was wrong, and this was acknowledged by Iran's spiritual leader, who decided to hand over the truth of the government to supporters of a harder line with the West.
    And he did it the way he did—he didn't hide in a bunker. His political supporters did the same.
    They left as martyrs, uniting the Iranian people (and not only the Iranian people) to fight the West.
    Once again, this is a version that is incomprehensible to the European mentality, but is entirely acceptable for people fired up by the Great Idea - the idea of ​​Iran's development based on enlightened Islam.