I fought on the Challenger

53
I fought on the Challenger

A letter from one of the members of the burnt tank "Challenger 2". It was preserved miraculously. Translation from Ukrainian. The translation of Galician words is given in brackets. The further fate of the author of the letter is unknown.

- Good afternoon, vuyku (uncle), you asked me to tell you what Challenger is. This is a very good car. Comfortable, spacious, you can stand upright inside. When we trained on it, we were surprised that there was a minibar. And it comes fully equipped.



Refrigerator, microwave oven, convection oven, credens (buffet for dishes), stereo system. The entire set of dishes, even banyak (saucepan) and patelnya (frying pan).

There is also a dry closet.

All bambetels (seats) are covered with a kots (blanket). Moisture-absorbing. A cup holder is conveniently at hand.

Each crew member has white meshta (shoes).

Fighting on such a tank is like walking (walking) in a defilade (parade).

In a word, this car is for a good gazda (owner).

If some zayda (outsider) gets into such a machine, he will get lost and will not find a way out. When they sent the loader to the minibar for more, he got lost. I had to look for him myself.

The Challenger is a pleasure to drive. It’s like changing to a Lamborghini after a Tavria. Soft, you don’t feel the bumps. Super suspension, automatic transmission. You lean out of the tower, high up, you can see everything from above.

Everything is hydraulic. Even the door to the dry closet.

Everything is simple to manage. When we trained there, at first the English officer spoke English, and our chief sergeant translated.

Here's how to shoot, for example:

- Hand over the shell. Then you take an uzbich (next to it) and a gerliga (stick). You send it. You click on the pimp, then on the tsybulina, wait for the red light (light) to blink. Still waiting. The green light came on.

Meanwhile, the gunner looks at a distance (into the distance) and takes aim. Then w-a-a-a-a-ah. Shot.

There's even voice control. True, you need to speak English. This pig doesn't understand language. But our English does not understand.

Our crew is a very friendly family. The commander, call sign “One-Eye,” this is true, and the driver, call sign “Khromoy,” live together, the company commander sometimes comes. I love gunner “Shizu” very much, but he doesn’t answer. This torments me greatly.

Okay, I'll go and have a look at the gun. You must always watch the weapon. Shmarovidlo (lubrication) must be constantly present. Otherwise it won't shoot.

It’s not for you, man, to sit in your hut on Chortomlik and crumple hanki (untranslatable expression) out of melancholy.

Pokelichi pokeli (goodbye). And send a couple of cans of plump abolon sagankof (large tomatoes).
53 comments
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  1. +11
    15 September 2023 03: 58
    All bambetels (seats) are covered with a kots (blanket). Moisture-wicking.
    For each crew member there is white bags (shoes)

    ***
    - “Was it useful?” ...
    ***
    1. +7
      15 September 2023 05: 47
      White slippers - for official funerals. And these were buried right on the spot in a shell crater, and in the report they are missing. And the loss statistics are better (still not killed), and the family does not have to pay. Total benefit.
    2. +1
      18 September 2023 13: 28
      They came in very handy along the way, although you can’t tell from the photo))) but oh well. During this time we managed to use the minibar laughing laughing laughing laughing
  2. +18
    15 September 2023 05: 55
    When you read this: “vuyku”, “meshty”, “banyak”, “shmarovidlo”, “zaida” - you begin to clearly imagine what “fenya” and the ravings of a drunken Pole are...
    In the head of a normal person such sets of letters cannot be formed a priori...
    1. +27
      15 September 2023 05: 59
      Quote: ROSS 42
      When you read this: “vuyku”, “meshty”, “banyak”, “shmarovidlo”, “zaida” - you begin to clearly imagine what “fenya” and the ravings of a drunken Pole are...
      In the head of a normal person such sets of letters cannot be formed a priori...

      It seems that the author intended the feuilleton “Letters to a Western guy”, or banter about the “Roguly”’s admiration for everything Western...
      The Challenger is a pleasure to drive. It’s like changing to a Lamborghini after a Tavria. Soft, you don’t feel the bumps. Super suspension, automatic transmission.

      I haven’t gone, but I know it’s true. Yes
      1. +13
        15 September 2023 06: 17
        Quote: Lynx2000
        It seems that the author intended the feuilleton “Letters to a Western guy”, or banter about the “Roguly”’s admiration for everything Western...

        The banter turned out well, keep writing.
      2. +3
        16 September 2023 08: 16
        Quote: Lynx2000
        Quote: ROSS 42
        When you read this: “vuyku”, “meshty”, “banyak”, “shmarovidlo”, “zaida” - you begin to clearly imagine what “fenya” and the ravings of a drunken Pole are...
        In the head of a normal person such sets of letters cannot be formed a priori...

        It seems that the author intended the feuilleton “Letters to a Western guy”, or banter about the “Roguly”’s admiration for everything Western...
        The Challenger is a pleasure to drive. It’s like changing to a Lamborghini after a Tavria. Soft, you don’t feel the bumps. Super suspension, automatic transmission.

        I haven’t gone, but I know it’s true. Yes

        The funny thing is that Lamborghini essentially has a very stiff suspension. All sports cars have this. You count all the bumps in the road as a backside. laughing
      3. +1
        18 September 2023 14: 59
        Laborghinya is such a stool!
        Tavria will be softer. Maybe he didn’t even drive a Tavria??
    2. +10
      15 September 2023 06: 42
      So this is just a satirical feuilleton. Who will laugh at our words
    3. +8
      15 September 2023 07: 47
      Quote: ROSS 42
      When you read this: “vuyku”, “meshty”, “banyak”, “shmarovidlo”, “zayda”

      Well, I don’t know...it depends...but “knead the hanky”...I’ll probably take it for use! Yes So that the moderators don’t guess what I mean! No.
    4. +7
      15 September 2023 12: 12
      Quote: ROSS 42
      When you read this: “vuyku”, “meshty”, “banyak”, “shmarovidlo”, “zaida” - you begin to clearly imagine what “fenya” and the ravings of a drunken Pole are...
      In the head of a normal person such sets of letters cannot be formed a priori...

      Let me disagree with you. The fact is that this is not “Fenya”, it is a local dialect.
      For example, in the Novgorod-Siversky district of the Chernigov region. the potato bush is called “kalevo”, and in the Susaninsky district of the Kostroma region. there is such a word -
      "I've been stingy." those. wrinkled her face. There are many examples.
      Connecting multiple languages; Polish, Slovak, Lithuanian and Ukrainian, produces words that do not exist in a single language. This is why Eastern Ukrainians do not understand their Western fellow citizens, and vice versa.
      1. +4
        15 September 2023 13: 05
        Connecting multiple languages; Polish, Slovak, Lithuanian and Ukrainian,
        “British scientists” proved back in the last century that there is no Ukrainian language, but only the veal language of local aborigines erectus untermenis from the subclass Raguli.
        stroll (walk)
        As a certified translator from German into Russian, I authoritatively declare that local pigs were once herded either by the Austrians or the Teutons. And the copied word with translation in brackets is a distortion of the verb of the great German philosophers and poets. Yes
        1. +4
          17 September 2023 10: 56
          Scharnhorst, the Ukrainian language is exclusively a language of villages and towns. Language, customs, behavior are typical rural. I repeat: I can understand the zigging German. A great nation of philosophers, writers, engineers, generals... But when a short-haired creature, short-sighted, stupid, dirty, who grew up in a pig pen, tries to zig, I just can’t understand it! This is funny)))
          1. The comment was deleted.
  3. +7
    15 September 2023 06: 30
    As I understand it, this is the author’s irony about the desire of Ukrainians to make for themselves a “wunderwaffe” out of every overseas thing.
    Fighting on such a tank is like walking (walking) in a defilade (parade).
    So I took a walk and the white slippers probably came in handy.
  4. +21
    15 September 2023 07: 41
    This writing is more like a feuilleton. As they once wrote in "Crocodile". This speaks to the level of our “propagandists”. This is the level of the Nightingales and Simonians, we are losing in propaganda to the West and, unfortunately, very much.
    1. AUL
      +12
      15 September 2023 12: 21
      Labor humor, strained. Like constipation.
      Many didn’t even realize that this was such a feuilleton!
      1. +11
        15 September 2023 13: 03
        The main problem is our “propagandists” who need to be driven out... with rags and the sooner the better. If you look at what they give out - the hair starts to move. And they are paid quite a lot of money for such “work”.
  5. +2
    15 September 2023 09: 49
    some kind of banter((just fabulous babble
    1. +5
      15 September 2023 10: 47
      just a fabulous balabon
      Yes There is no microwave or air fryer there. There is a bivy, like an electric saucepan, where you can make tea/coffee or, if you really want, deep-fry something.
    2. +9
      15 September 2023 20: 10
      I see that there are those here who “naturally” believed in this feuilleton as in a real-life, “miraculously preserved letter”... “To grandfather in the village.” laughing lol
  6. +4
    15 September 2023 09: 50
    IMHO, such fantasies are sometimes compared to Don Quixote's fight with windmills.
    The author himself supposedly invented it - he himself and heroically won//described/laughed.

    It would be nice if I gave an introduction at the beginning - that’s what I came up with. No
    Terrible "I fought on the Challenger"
    And then an unfunny feuilleton...

    A bit reminiscent of all sorts of “revelations”, “repentance” and “truth” from the 90s and 00s...
  7. +2
    15 September 2023 11: 07
    Our crew is a very friendly family. The commander, call sign “One-Eye,” this is true, and the driver, call sign “Khromoy,” live together, the company commander sometimes comes. I love gunner “Shizu” very much, but he doesn’t answer. This torments me greatly.
    lame and half-blind... well, okay... and then... homosexuality! And apparently the loader writes...he was sent for more, and he got lost...!
  8. +2
    15 September 2023 11: 24
    “And this week the owner told me to peel the herring, and I started from the tail, and she took the herring and started poking me in the mug with her muzzle. The apprentices mock me, send me to the tavern for vodka and tell me to steal cucumbers from the owners, and the owner beats me with something.” got in."(c)
    It’s good that the Raguly dialect has been preserved)))
    PeeCee: and they sent a loader for vodka)))
  9. +7
    15 September 2023 14: 13
    It seems to me that since there are such crazy feuilletons and crazy propaganda articles, they are preparing for something not good.
    1. +2
      17 September 2023 16: 58
      After Mariupol, I wrote: 180 people are missing. Now 500 are needed to occupy the left bank and the Black Sea from Kirovograd.
      An agreement is only possible in a semi-indecent way (more than shameful).
      "The Anglo-Saxons "bred" us and the Ukhrov and the EU very competently.
      You'll have to do everything yourself.
      Without international laws and rules. Autocratic.... Or if you don't get the result, you'll miss the cash register.
  10. +6
    15 September 2023 15: 52
    Quote: Vladimir M
    This writing is more like a feuilleton. As they once wrote in "Crocodile". This speaks to the level of our “propagandists”. This is the level of the Nightingales and Simonians, we are losing in propaganda to the West and, unfortunately, very much.
    Yes, this “creation” looks pretty poor.
    Quote: parusnik
    It seems to me that since there are such crazy feuilletons and crazy propaganda articles, they are preparing for something not good.
    This really cannot be ruled out.
  11. -1
    15 September 2023 17: 29
    There is also a dry closet. All bambetels (seats) are covered with a kots (blanket). Moisture-absorbing.

    So that it absorbs as soon as you dry yourself...
    And here is the toilet
  12. +10
    15 September 2023 17: 56
    What kind of nonsense is this? Roman Skomorokhov went on vacation and the boys from Full House were hired. The site is deteriorating before our eyes.
  13. +8
    15 September 2023 18: 43
    There is not an ounce of satire or even humor in the text. Ridicule and insults against any language, dialect or dialect are a sign of rudeness, lack of education, tribalism, chauvinism and national arrogance. Such behavior is a sign of degradation of the mind. What is different from the usual “one’s own” does not mean “bad”. In addition, this is an open call to hate the “mocker,” and in this case, Russians and the Russian language.
    1. +1
      16 September 2023 17: 27
      As for “ridicule” and insults, you came up with that yourself. The translation is in brackets. And nothing more. Learn to see what is written, and not what you invented.
  14. -1
    15 September 2023 19: 42
    It's a mess of course! But it's funny...
    Still, the enemy is serious, you don’t need to be afraid of him, but you have to know him.
  15. +4
    15 September 2023 19: 43
    Pretty bad. Author, try harder.
  16. +2
    15 September 2023 20: 28
    Next article.... :"I fought on the Abrams...!" fellow So "Abrams" are not yet in Ukraine! stop And there are “Leopards” and “Challengers”! So what's the difference? request
  17. -2
    16 September 2023 06: 21
    Fake of course. I overdid it with Western phraseology. But it's cool. I especially liked the white slippers for the entire crew.
  18. 0
    16 September 2023 08: 03
    When we defeat the Ukronatsiks, we hold a Victory Parade first in Kyiv and then in Moscow, then we will make fun of both the Challengers and Abrams, and the Highmars with the M113.
    In the meantime, there is a positional impasse and neither the end nor the edge of this NWO is in sight.
    Therefore, we must fight, and not cower.
  19. +1
    16 September 2023 13: 52
    It seems like “VO” is a serious resource, but here... some kind of feuilleton
  20. +2
    16 September 2023 16: 34
    In my opinion - 100% bullshit. The author is having fun out of boredom and decided to occupy his free time, and at the same time hang noodles on the readers’ ears. From a series of letters from demobilization to my mother back home, “there are five of us in the fighting compartment of the BMP. There is a pungent smell of gasoline.” tongue
  21. +1
    16 September 2023 20: 02
    And when did he write after he burned in the tank?
  22. +1
    16 September 2023 23: 28
    Yes, it's nonsense. Why were the Galician words left, as if the rest were Russian "moisture-absorbing cup holders with an armrest" ..... to show that they are stupid hillbillies? Respect the enemy, do not dehumanize him, he is cunning and smart and strong. Ukrainians are also hardy and patient. With much fewer artillery barrels and shells than ours, without aviation, without air defense, with fewer tanks and electronic warfare, they are still holding out!! What would happen if the West gave them everything as much as we have???
  23. 0
    17 September 2023 12: 04
    A site visitor has a question for me: is this a joke or true?
  24. -1
    17 September 2023 13: 12
    Not a toilet, but a SHIT... This is the dictionary for the outskirts... You were funny in the USSR, and you still are. Not only is it not funny And there is no anger... But the stupidity in you is like penny coins in the ruble... It’s high time for yours They tore off the heads of the Jews... and the stray Poles too... A big country with great traditions, but they turned everything into a SHIT...
  25. -1
    17 September 2023 15: 41
    Ha-ha-ha! laughing Ugh, damn... laughing Apparently I've become old. I'm not laughing. request
  26. 0
    17 September 2023 16: 45
    Yeah... this is not Smirnov, who is Valery from Odessa.
  27. BAI
    +1
    17 September 2023 17: 34
    Judging by the author's pseudonym - feuilleton. April 1 is far away, however
  28. -1
    17 September 2023 18: 12
    Each crew member has white meshta (shoes).

    But this is correct! And let them immediately change their shoes before they make a smokehouse out of their “cart from the west”!
  29. +1
    17 September 2023 19: 12
    Why such a crude fake? You can dehumanize an enemy without fictitious ridicule - they provide enough reasons.
  30. +2
    18 September 2023 04: 50
    The author apparently collected holuciogenic mushrooms in the autumn forest. What else hasn't a double door refrigerator added to the list? Wow, why are you printing such crap?
  31. 0
    18 September 2023 09: 28
    Is there a humor section on the site?
    Place it there.
  32. +1
    18 September 2023 10: 27
    What kind of nonsense is this? Petrosyan number 2 showed up?
  33. 0
    18 September 2023 13: 50
    Of course, I’m not from Galicia, but what is written in the article is complete nonsense. They don't say that. I served in Chernivtsi and Khmelnitsky.
  34. 0
    18 September 2023 13: 58
    Nonsense!! And the letter is nonsense, and about the tank is nonsense!! I personally don’t believe it!! Weak!! Our propaganda works very poorly!! Not like the Soviet one during the Second World War!!
  35. 0
    18 September 2023 14: 14
    He hasn’t yet described the laundry and gym, which the Challenger definitely has. )))))
  36. 0
    18 September 2023 16: 59
    The article is a detector of supporters of Bandera.