Results of the week. “We don’t have Chicago here, but we don’t like it when we are put under our tail!”
Part I. “You can legally go. It is difficult to reach
Test on the knowledge of the "orange move"
Ukrainian Ministry of Justice authorized the official use of the words "Jew" and "Zhidovka"
Another epic with the nationalist aspirations of certain forces in Ukraine manifested itself in the outgoing week. With enviable regularity news frankly nationalistic, they came from Kiev even before the party mist-watering Mr. Tyagnibok was in the Verkhovna Rada, but after electing members of the Svoboda party to the Ukrainian parliament, nationalist matters began to acquire a legal shade.
A new scandal in Ukraine broke out after a deputy named Miroshnichenko, discussing the personality of Hollywood actress of Ukrainian origin, Mila Kunis, said that the quote: "She is not Ukrainian, but a little Jew ... Consider it your own language does not turn." Certainly, like Mile Kunis herself, and many in general, for what other purposes Mr. Miroshnichenko turns his tongue, but here is a case that, as is customary to be expressed in such cases, the public was agitated. The matter even reached the Ukrainian Ministry of Justice, from which the elected deputy was expected to react to the words of the people.
The reaction, indeed, did not keep itself waiting, and it was that the Ministry of Justice did not see anything reprehensible in the words of Igor Miroshnichenko. Like, so what do you want from us? Well, the deputy called the actress a Jewish, so well, gentlemen, there is a quite literary word that even Russian classics used in their works, oh, sorry, Ukrainian literature ...
So the classics happened to read other definitions ... Apparently, if such legislators as Miroshnichenko and Irish Faryon, the flagship of Ukrainian electing defending their ally, used words on the letters “b”, “x”, and also on a number of other letters approved by the Ministry of Justice, and they would be "literary."
We will not argue on the topic of good and bad words of the Ukrainian language, which is being mastered by deputy Miroshnichenko, but, based on the open liberalism of the Ministry of Justice, he will have to introduce official permission and, if possible, patent such codicans among the supporters of the Freedom party phrases like “Muscovites klyats” "And" Yid ".
Probably, now the Svoboda party members will even publish their own explanatory dictionary of the most commonly used terms under the name “Pomarancheva Mova” edited by Tyagnibok, Miroshnichenko and Fahrion, not descended from a single Slavic people, but, apparently, from epic tribes of great ukrovs ... In this dictionary, several test phrases will be proposed for those who correspond and who do not comply with the policy of the party.
Try to pass the option of a possible test for the right to become a candidate member of the Freedom Party, which consists of the trinity listed above. Choose the correct expressions from the point of view of Mr. Miroshnichenko and the Ukrainian Ministry of Justice.
The phrase 1: "Scob toby povilazilo, moskalina furious!"
The phrase 2: "Schob you pіdnyalo і hepnulo, zhidovka s Hollywood!"
The phrase 3: "The terms" Jews "," Muscovites "," Ukrainians "can be used in their speech only those whose task is to divide the peoples living in Ukraine (and not only in Ukraine)."
My tongue is my enemy?
Nazarbayev calls to translate Kazakh into Latin
The language passions flared up in the week in another CIS country, from the leadership of which, frankly, nothing like this was expected. President of Kazakhstan Nursultan Nazarbayev in his next address to the parliament of the country unexpectedly touched upon the need to switch the Kazakh language to the Latin alphabet. According to the Kazakhstani leader, it is necessary to start work now on translating the state language into the Latin script before the 2025 year. Nursultan Abishevich explains such a move by the fact that the Latin script will allow turning the Kazakh language into a quotation “into the language of modern information”. In addition, the president of friendly Kazakhstan notes that with the presence of Latin citizens of the country will be able to "make a breakthrough" and will receive "unlimited opportunities." Somewhere we have already heard something like this ... When we renamed the police into the police, we were also promised some kind of jerks, or quantum jumps ...
Frankly speaking, it is not entirely clear what jerks and unlimited possibilities the Kazakh leader is talking about, but his plans are truly ambitious. Only Nursultan Abishevich, although his country borders on the Celestial Empire, forgets that, perhaps in 15-20 years, Kazakhstan, like many other countries that want for one reason or another to change the writing, will have to go at all not to Latin, but to Chinese characters ... If today Nazarbayev believes that the Cyrillic alphabet is inconsistent, then by 2025 the alphabet, which was developed during the feeding of babies by the Roman wolf, could become an archaic. But if so, then what should the people of Kazakhstan, the modernity of which President Nazarbayev so happy about, do? We'll have to give some tips on the universal transition.
Council first.
As soon as the GDP of any state furiously rushes to the first line of the world ranking, we must immediately switch to the alphabet used in this country. In this case, the alphabet can be diluted with letters (symbols) of the alphabets of those states that are included in the most powerful military blocs - just in case.
The second council.
Nazarbayev can be advised to switch to a bit level (binary system). Zeros and ones are super modern. Of course, it will not always be convenient to speak. Well, judge for yourself: drank too much, the language began to stumble, confused a couple of zeros with a pair of ones, but it turns out that in a conversation I insulted the wife of my neighbor in the dacha ... But everything is in the spirit of a new formation: if someone on the fence has an indecent word and writes , it will look much more innovative than today.
In general, all Kazakhstani citizens (well, as we once said to Dmitry Anatolyevich with police and police innovations) will have to say “Rakhmet, Elbasymyz!” ... After all, languages will be modernized - not every leader is given.
Although, that we are all about Kazakhstan, and about Kazakhstan, we didn’t announce anyone about switching to the Latin alphabet, but it’s just to get to a busy avenue - and you can get lost in some shops. Where there was a cigarette stand, now "Tobacco Boutique", where there was a dumpling, - flaunts a bright signboard "Restaurant" Europe, and then all sorts of city-park, coffee-house, glamor-center, etc., etc., etc. ... Eh, where are you, Cyril and Methodius? ..
Return to Eden
Georgian Minister is going to return South Ossetia and Abkhazia through 6-7 years
The new Georgian authorities are full of Abkhaz-Ossetian enthusiasm. Surprisingly, the residents of the two Transcaucasian republics are ready to solve their problems with enthusiasm. True, after secession from Georgia, at least one problem in these republics became less ...
During the week, a member of the Georgian Cabinet, the minister for reintegration (there is such an official in Georgia), Mr. Zakareishvili said that he and other Georgian officials personally planned a number of steps that are intended to show Sukhum and Tskhinvali how peaceful Tbilisi is today. The implementation of these steps will require a time frame, which he designated as “six to seven years.” The self-confidence of the Georgian minister is amazing! Apparently, he expects that during all this time he will be in his ministerial chair. Well, meritorious desire to save one job ... And what will employers say? ..
Zakareishvili said that in South Ossetia and Abkhazia, everyone should see how Georgia will take care of these republics. True, Mr. Minister’s vague plans cause only a desire to shrug. He says: “Today’s Georgia has very little to offer the Abkhaz and Ossetians, but in the future it’s a lot.” And Mr. Zakareishvili states that the Abkhaz and Ossetians do not need to wait for development assistance from Russia, because the quote: "How Russia cares about other nations is well illustrated by the example of the North Caucasus."
Obviously, Paata Zakareishvili, who for a couple with his boss, Mr. Ivanishvili, admitted that he cannot offer anything to South Ossetia and Abkhazia today, will work hard on himself. Interestingly, what does the minister intend to propose to the republics that have left Georgia? Perhaps it will be his personal daily walking tours of the Abkhaz coast in the clothes of the colors of the Abkhaz flag and loud chant of attracting the attention of songs in the Abkhaz language. And, perhaps, it will be laying flowers with the masters of Saakashvili and Ivanishvili to the obelisk who died from bullets and fragments of shells fired by the Georgian army to the residents of Tskhinvali and the Russian peacekeepers. Perhaps other steps ...
However, for the time being, the only suitable step towards reintegration on the part of the official is only the renaming of Tbilisi to Sukhum, and Gori to Tskhinval. Only after this, Zakareishvili will be able to report that he was able to return these settlements to the bosom of Georgia.
In the name of the queen
What kind of gifts do you give on New Year's Eve?
In the meantime, Mr. Zakareishvili promises gifts in the form of some kind of manna from heaven in South Ossetia and Abkhazia (in 6-7 years), in Britain they give gifts to the queen here and now. And what gifts: a whole piece of Antarctica! The press service of Her Majesty reports that now in the territory of the southernmost continent there will be not only Queen Maud Land, but also Queen Elizabeth II Land. Such a gift was received by the British monarch in the year of the celebration of the 60 anniversary of her own time on the throne. It is worth recalling that this is not the first personalized gift for Elizabeth II. Earlier, the famous tower was named after her, where Big Ben keeps track of time.
The new Antarctic territories, which the queen received as a gift, have an area larger than the United Kingdom itself almost 2 times.
On this occasion, there are considerations: why can the British give names to the Antarctic expanses, and other peoples of the world - no? And after all, a remarkable political loophole for the same Mr. Zakareishvili from the previous material could have been indicated here. The Georgian reintegration minister could use the practice of the British and give such names as “South Ossetia” and “Abkhazia” to two parts of the territory of Antarctica as a gift to the leaders of Georgia. And after all, problems with reintegration are then easily solved ... These territories can even be settled: for example, Mikhail Saakashvili’s inner circle together with the Georgian president himself, who at one time managed to ensure that now Zakareishvili had something to do in his ministry. No peacekeepers will interfere with the establishment of constitutional order: democratize penguins, do you want, seals, do you want ...
Who are the judges?
How Putin and Zorkin Argued About Knowledge of the Constitution
During the week, the All-Russian Congress of Judges added sharpness to the internal political life of the country. In general, a very bland event, which could be called a person on duty, suddenly turned into a very piquant political dish. Salt and pepper appeared in this dish due to the outlined local opposition of President Putin and the head of the Constitutional Court Zorkin. Putin at the judges ’congress declared that in Russia it was necessary to immediately introduce an institution of administrative proceedings, through which Russian citizens could resolve disputed issues with the authorities. However, Zorkin, in response to Putin’s words, said that Russia could do without an administrative court through the Supreme Arbitration and the Supreme Court. And at the same time he made it clear that it was time for the Constitutional Court to secure also the right to annul acts adopted by the courts.
Further, the situation reminded the duel of two fencers who tried to prick an opponent. Vladimir Putin noted that he himself is well acquainted with the Constitution, in which it is written in black and white about the administrative judicial sphere, but Zorkin made his attack and stabbed the president in the form of a joke about Brezhnev, who addressed Indira Gandhi as “dear Margaret Thatcher!” Whether Zorkin compared this tirade with “Brezhnev's anecdotism” Putin’s awareness with the letter of the Constitution is difficult to say, of course, but, nevertheless ... In response, Putin, having parried Zorkin’s attack, completed the anecdote about Leonid Ilyich. But he could also recall the story of A.S. Pushkin about a fisherman and a fish, in which one old woman wanted too many “powers” in the position of first a column noblewoman, and then a ruler of the sea, but in the end she found herself with a leaky washing device ...
What is the strength in, brother?..
How did the opposition burn
Relatives do not choose. It is about this that Oleg Navalny, who at one time managed to light up in the very opaque corridors of one of the departments of the most mobile domestic company, Pochta Rossii, has to talk today. The Investigation Committee decided to test how Oleg Navalny, who worked under the patronage of his “senior”, managed to convince a certain foreign company to conclude an agreement on mail transportation between Moscow and Yaroslavl, as a result of which 55 million rubles were deposited on the brothers ’accounts. Apparently, the RF IC does not understand how any foreign company in general has thought of entering into a contract with the Post of Russia. Maybe I would have understood, but the surname Navalny today acts magically on many, and so they did not stand in the Investigation Committee either. Now the brothers postmen remain under a subscription on their own recognizance.
And one more person, who can identify himself as Russian opposition, may soon go to sunny Siberia - to the city of Angarsk. This man is the same “stolen” Mr. Razvozzhaev, who, as it turned out, likes to talk nicely with Georgian politicians about the fate of Russia. However, in Angarsk, he did not go at all for this reason, but because in the dashing 90-e earned by ... tyril caps. At least that's what his lawyers say. Like, what is this Themis is so picky about Razvozzhaev: a man with just hats in Angarsk hunted, and she takes him by the breast ...
In general, the Investigative Committee decided to engage in clarifying the secrets of the past of our opposition. Well, what: mail and caps - as an option? If you dig even deeper, there may be something up to vouchers with chewing gum. But if it really goes to Angarsk by the end of the year: well, what is not the Decembrist ...
Part II. "We need to analyze the failure, not to repeat it"
In fourth place
For Israel, Singapore and Syria
The Bonn International Conversion Institute ranked global militarization. The most militarized nations of the world were in the 2012 year Israel, Singapore and Syria. From these countries, armed to the teeth, Russia is almost not lagging behind. is listed at 4-th place. The place is not a prize, and a bit offended that for Singapore, but what can you do? The West does not want to put Russia in the rankings for 1-e place. Neither the military nor the economic or democratic. That one will interfere, then another. Something does not work out with gender stereotypes, it turns out that Navalny and Udaltsov lack freedom of speech and action, then there is not enough points for the safety of citizens. What did not grow together in the military rating? It seems that Yarsy is there, and Topol is planted, and terrible rumors are circulating about Iskander in the West.
It turns out that pedantic German compilers, prone to relative bookkeeping rather than absolute accounting, accrued points based on determining the ratio of a country's military expenditures to its GDP, and not at all the amount of spending. From here, the United States, which is ahead of all countries of the world in terms of the so-called “defense” expenditures, took the 30 place in the formidable hit parade. You look at this line - and you think: “What a peaceful, contagious!” And then you translate a glance at position number four - and it becomes terrible.
Here is what they say about the Russian "non-prize" place:
But what about the US! China, which is advancing on America’s heels in the arms race, turned out to be in eighty-second place. With a military budget of 129 billions of dollars.
The Germans also took into account the number of reservists. In fact, judging by the size of the population and the term service that many citizens undergo, not counting the lame and the oblique, Russia should have risen higher than Singapore or Syria. However, in Bonn, they flexibly approached the question of how to push the Russians off the odd pedestal.
Yes, in the Russian Federation there are enough of those who can be conventionally called “reservists”: here you’ve got comrades with battered military IDs who have long since served you, university students with military departments, people who are partially fit for military service, and even draftees who haven’t served. But the picky Germans do not believe that "in a real military conflict, all this army existing on paper will have some kind of combat value."
The warriors of Israel and Syria (for some reason, they are silent about Singapore) "army training regularly takes place, which means that they can at least shoot to old age."
The awkward Teutonic irony must have referred us to the traditional Russian drunkenness - the only occupation that the Russian peasant is able to indulge in just “regularly”, reaching in this very “extreme measure”. They say in Bonn there is a Russian anecdote in the course: “We know the measure, but will you drink it?”
At the same time, it should be noted that the Germans never “lowered” Russia below the tenth place. It was first included in the index in the 1992 year, that is, two decades ago. The burghers of Iskander are afraid, and they are also afraid to freeze without gas.
But the Germans did away with Ukraine and Belarus without fear. Ukraine took the 20-place, and Belarus was not lucky to be on the 16-m.
Rumor has it that Comrade Lukashenko, who recently declared himself the last dictator of Europe, is already preparing an answer to the rating herr from Bonn, who - in collusion with the authors of other ratings - only think about how to insult a decent In all respects, Minsk is another European dish.
In the meantime, “Batka” thinks, the Belarusian press has already begun artillery preparation: the popular Ezhednevnik edition has written that since 2000, the country has “frozen” in the second ten of the most militarized states of the planet, and this “can hardly be called a reason for pride”.
What kind of pride is there, if Russia is not followed by Belarus and Ukraine, but Jordan and Cyprus! One consolation: neither Ukraine, nor Belarus, nor even more so than Russia, the backward Americans and are not suitable for holding shoes.
Naked and frozen
Ukrainian activists undressed in Sweden, protesting against orders in Egypt
January 20 "in the snowy world of Stockholm, the apocalyptic, from the point of view of Islamism, the picture opened." So on site "Femen" begins a short press release on the new stock movement. This time, the glorious pretty girls were bare in Stockholm. They showed not only breasts, but everything else to a swedish-looking public. Not frightened them and light frost.
And then - after all, Aliya Al Mahdi, an Egyptian activist, whose heart Mohammed Mursi is not exactly the same as, say, the heart of the famous Inna Shevchenko, arrived in Sweden with the Ukrainians.
Aliya also showed the Swedes everything that was with her.
The protest at the walls of the Egyptian embassy in Sweden was directed against, quote, "the religious bondage of the latter-day prophet." “Femen” believe that the time has come to “support the Egyptian heroes opposing the sharia-dictatorial project of the constitution of President Mursi”. As soon as this Islamist, and concurrently the Pharaoh, will be thrown out, the people of Egypt will have a chance for "decent democratic development."
In photos that have bypassed the Internet, three feminists at the embassy shamefully cover their genitals with models of “Torah”, “Koran” and “Bible”. Until now, it was not known that Mursi, to whom the Muslim Brotherhood had long interpreted the Quran, occasionally looks into the original sources of related religions.
However, on the website of the international movement "Femen" everything is explained:
It is unlikely that the President of Egypt will bother to read the posters of Ukrainian feminists, even if short slogans are written in accessible English, and not in barbarian Cyrillic. M. Mursi has his own plans for the future of the Egyptian people (or rather, not quite their own, but joint, prompted to him by the “Brothers”).
What will happen to the president if the meaning of what was said in democratic Stockholm does not reach him? Here's what:
One could already guess who will lead the “last and decisive battle” in Cairo, but ... But, I am afraid, the devout Egyptians will not appreciate the democracy that is personified by the Ukrainian woman’s naked bodies. And they will even less appreciate Aliya’s attractive nude figure. Traditionalist society is strong just for its strong conservatism with respect to moral values, and it will not go into the “final and decisive battle” behind the hologrud of democracy. Rather, it will go against such freedoms, which is why the “brother” Mursi will only win.
As for tolerant Stockholm, the performance of “Femen” was quite appropriate there ...
Obama instead of un
The editors of "Time" did not have enough spirit to place an atomic communist on the cover.
A week ago, it became known that the famous Man Kim Jong-un - a vigorous North Korean leader, who launches rockets with satellites and builds a bright future for his people without looking at the United States, could become the “Man of the Year” from the American Time magazine. Most readers of the popular weekly online survey chose "Man of the Year" is the leader of the DPRK.
In the rating, compiled on the basis of opinions of the readership, Comrade Eun won with an incredible margin: about 5,6 million people voted for him. American satirist and popular TV presenter Jon Stewart, who turned out to be in the 2-th place, scored 2,4 million votes. Third place was given to the collective image of an illegal immigrant (1,55 million votes).
But neither Eun, nor Stuart, nor the “collective image” were on the cover of the magazine.
The fact is that in the editorial board of “Time” they wanted to sneeze on the opinions of readers, and the survey itself there long ago turned into a formal act, which is nonetheless involved - because it attracts numerous visitors to the web resource. Decision on the "winner" take correspondents and editors whose opinions are summarized by the executive executive.
And suddenly, "The Man of the Year - 2012" became ... Barack Obama.
Of course, the win-win option is to print on the cover a portrait of a native president, even in such gloomy colors that the designer and photographer chose. A portrait of Kim Jong-un — for example, against the background of nuclear warheads, cotton cloths and smiling Korean women in khaki — would have looked, of course, much more festive. The dull Obama in the photo must be the personification of the economic crisis that has razed America to a “fiscal cliff” (fiscal cliff).
And so that readers understand the idea of the editors correctly, the choice in the journal explained:
Thus, “Time” delicately warned the president: while we pray to you, the owner of the Oval Office, but one more wrong step, Kim Jong-un or his friend Comrade Ahmadinejad will replace your gloomy physiognomy.
It should also be noted that Obama became the “Man” for the second time (the first magazine honoring happened in 2008, after the black candidate won the presidential election). Thereby, again, a thick hint is given to him: you, mate, the second - and the last - is a chance.
Obama’s company is made up of outstanding “people of the year” of past years.
In 1938, the "laureate" was Adolf Gitler. In 1950 and 2003, the “image” of the “American soldier” won in the “competition”. In 1982, the "Man of the Year" became ... a personal computer. M. X. Gorbachev got on the cover of “Time” in 1987. In 2000, the executive editor chose George W. Bush (earlier, ten years ago, his father's bright face was printed on the cover). The youngest was so good in the “human” image that it was reprinted in 2004, a year after the US invasion of Iraq. In 2009, Time captured the jovial Ben Bernanke, the Fed boss. This man could not help but get on the cover: after all, he prints money for all of America, making it rich.
In addition, in the 2001 year in the “title” nominees walked Osama bin Laden.
In fact, all these faces, images and cars are a disguise, counterintelligence is understandable.
Five years ago, "Time" made Comrade Putin's "Man of the Year". Also present on the covers of Joseph Stalin - in 1939-m and 1942-m. Comrades Khrushchev and Andropov, too, were not deprived of editorial attention. So the Kremlin agent Barack Huseynovich Obamkin should be clear who is on the list is a screen, and who is on the case.
And Kim Jong Un is not to worry: his business is young.
Not Gates, not Buffett, not the king, but from the Kremlin, Comrade Putin
"Financial break" America is not terrible, if America sells Alaska
This brilliant idea the other day threw Obama, a representative of the US Treasury Department, Jim Millstein, and the Washington Post journalist Stephen Mafson brought it to the attention of the general public.
The tragic consequences of the impending "cliff" (earlier on the "VO" this was written here) for a couple with an intractable problem 16-trillion-dollar public debt can be easily prevented: you just have to put the state of Alaska up for auction. Countries and individuals would have plunged into the consumer competition, and the whole world would have watched the bidding with passion. Of course, bookmakers would take on competing bets. The starting price of Alaska is 3 trillion dollars.
Who will buy such an expensive and unique product? Bill Gates? Well, except on credit.
Warren Buffett? The same answer.
But even the IMF will not lend to this amount of these enterprising comrades, and they will not have enough of their cash.
Maybe Saudi dynasty? No, they have a very serious competitor on the way.
The first in line for the acquisition would be Russia:
In second place is also not the Arabs. While the Saudis are primitively selling their oil, the Chinese, looking to the future, are hunting for energy resources and territories:
Moreover, this transaction could be carried out by the simple abolition of debt.
Jim Millstein voiced a proposal to sell Alaska at Worton Business School, at a conference on the problem of American debt. The sale of Alaska, in his opinion, could reduce the federal debt by 10-25% of GDP, returning it to a controlled safe framework. By the way, Comrade Millstein defines the best price for Alaska at four trillion dollars.
However, the economist observes, Barack Obama’s latest budget proposals suggest that the deficit from 2013 to 2017. will add 3,44 trillion dollars to government debt. Therefore, after some six years, Americans will have to wrestle with what state to sell.
If the White House follows the simple ideas of Comrade Millstein, behind which the Kremlin trace is clearly stretching, then in fifty to seventy temporary owners of the Oval Office will sell half the country. Other states that are not in the proposed list could sell themselves - until the price of fragments of America, coming one after the other under the hammer, fell. Who is Texas? Who is Louisiana? Fly, cheaper!
The Russians would buy something, the Chinese something. Some areas on the sly would have departed Soros, Abramovich and Deripaska.
And the White House itself would become a separate dwarf state. Like Monaco. There, Obama's heir, sipping a dark honey beer in the Oval Office, would play with the former State Department employees in the board game Hegemony.
* “We don’t have Chicago here, but we don’t like it when we are put under our tail!” - phrase from the movie “Deja Vu”
Test on the knowledge of the "orange move"
Ukrainian Ministry of Justice authorized the official use of the words "Jew" and "Zhidovka"
Another epic with the nationalist aspirations of certain forces in Ukraine manifested itself in the outgoing week. With enviable regularity news frankly nationalistic, they came from Kiev even before the party mist-watering Mr. Tyagnibok was in the Verkhovna Rada, but after electing members of the Svoboda party to the Ukrainian parliament, nationalist matters began to acquire a legal shade.
A new scandal in Ukraine broke out after a deputy named Miroshnichenko, discussing the personality of Hollywood actress of Ukrainian origin, Mila Kunis, said that the quote: "She is not Ukrainian, but a little Jew ... Consider it your own language does not turn." Certainly, like Mile Kunis herself, and many in general, for what other purposes Mr. Miroshnichenko turns his tongue, but here is a case that, as is customary to be expressed in such cases, the public was agitated. The matter even reached the Ukrainian Ministry of Justice, from which the elected deputy was expected to react to the words of the people.
The reaction, indeed, did not keep itself waiting, and it was that the Ministry of Justice did not see anything reprehensible in the words of Igor Miroshnichenko. Like, so what do you want from us? Well, the deputy called the actress a Jewish, so well, gentlemen, there is a quite literary word that even Russian classics used in their works, oh, sorry, Ukrainian literature ...
So the classics happened to read other definitions ... Apparently, if such legislators as Miroshnichenko and Irish Faryon, the flagship of Ukrainian electing defending their ally, used words on the letters “b”, “x”, and also on a number of other letters approved by the Ministry of Justice, and they would be "literary."
We will not argue on the topic of good and bad words of the Ukrainian language, which is being mastered by deputy Miroshnichenko, but, based on the open liberalism of the Ministry of Justice, he will have to introduce official permission and, if possible, patent such codicans among the supporters of the Freedom party phrases like “Muscovites klyats” "And" Yid ".
Probably, now the Svoboda party members will even publish their own explanatory dictionary of the most commonly used terms under the name “Pomarancheva Mova” edited by Tyagnibok, Miroshnichenko and Fahrion, not descended from a single Slavic people, but, apparently, from epic tribes of great ukrovs ... In this dictionary, several test phrases will be proposed for those who correspond and who do not comply with the policy of the party.
Try to pass the option of a possible test for the right to become a candidate member of the Freedom Party, which consists of the trinity listed above. Choose the correct expressions from the point of view of Mr. Miroshnichenko and the Ukrainian Ministry of Justice.
The phrase 1: "Scob toby povilazilo, moskalina furious!"
The phrase 2: "Schob you pіdnyalo і hepnulo, zhidovka s Hollywood!"
The phrase 3: "The terms" Jews "," Muscovites "," Ukrainians "can be used in their speech only those whose task is to divide the peoples living in Ukraine (and not only in Ukraine)."
My tongue is my enemy?
Nazarbayev calls to translate Kazakh into Latin
The language passions flared up in the week in another CIS country, from the leadership of which, frankly, nothing like this was expected. President of Kazakhstan Nursultan Nazarbayev in his next address to the parliament of the country unexpectedly touched upon the need to switch the Kazakh language to the Latin alphabet. According to the Kazakhstani leader, it is necessary to start work now on translating the state language into the Latin script before the 2025 year. Nursultan Abishevich explains such a move by the fact that the Latin script will allow turning the Kazakh language into a quotation “into the language of modern information”. In addition, the president of friendly Kazakhstan notes that with the presence of Latin citizens of the country will be able to "make a breakthrough" and will receive "unlimited opportunities." Somewhere we have already heard something like this ... When we renamed the police into the police, we were also promised some kind of jerks, or quantum jumps ...
Frankly speaking, it is not entirely clear what jerks and unlimited possibilities the Kazakh leader is talking about, but his plans are truly ambitious. Only Nursultan Abishevich, although his country borders on the Celestial Empire, forgets that, perhaps in 15-20 years, Kazakhstan, like many other countries that want for one reason or another to change the writing, will have to go at all not to Latin, but to Chinese characters ... If today Nazarbayev believes that the Cyrillic alphabet is inconsistent, then by 2025 the alphabet, which was developed during the feeding of babies by the Roman wolf, could become an archaic. But if so, then what should the people of Kazakhstan, the modernity of which President Nazarbayev so happy about, do? We'll have to give some tips on the universal transition.
Council first.
As soon as the GDP of any state furiously rushes to the first line of the world ranking, we must immediately switch to the alphabet used in this country. In this case, the alphabet can be diluted with letters (symbols) of the alphabets of those states that are included in the most powerful military blocs - just in case.
The second council.
Nazarbayev can be advised to switch to a bit level (binary system). Zeros and ones are super modern. Of course, it will not always be convenient to speak. Well, judge for yourself: drank too much, the language began to stumble, confused a couple of zeros with a pair of ones, but it turns out that in a conversation I insulted the wife of my neighbor in the dacha ... But everything is in the spirit of a new formation: if someone on the fence has an indecent word and writes , it will look much more innovative than today.
In general, all Kazakhstani citizens (well, as we once said to Dmitry Anatolyevich with police and police innovations) will have to say “Rakhmet, Elbasymyz!” ... After all, languages will be modernized - not every leader is given.
Although, that we are all about Kazakhstan, and about Kazakhstan, we didn’t announce anyone about switching to the Latin alphabet, but it’s just to get to a busy avenue - and you can get lost in some shops. Where there was a cigarette stand, now "Tobacco Boutique", where there was a dumpling, - flaunts a bright signboard "Restaurant" Europe, and then all sorts of city-park, coffee-house, glamor-center, etc., etc., etc. ... Eh, where are you, Cyril and Methodius? ..
Return to Eden
Georgian Minister is going to return South Ossetia and Abkhazia through 6-7 years
The new Georgian authorities are full of Abkhaz-Ossetian enthusiasm. Surprisingly, the residents of the two Transcaucasian republics are ready to solve their problems with enthusiasm. True, after secession from Georgia, at least one problem in these republics became less ...
During the week, a member of the Georgian Cabinet, the minister for reintegration (there is such an official in Georgia), Mr. Zakareishvili said that he and other Georgian officials personally planned a number of steps that are intended to show Sukhum and Tskhinvali how peaceful Tbilisi is today. The implementation of these steps will require a time frame, which he designated as “six to seven years.” The self-confidence of the Georgian minister is amazing! Apparently, he expects that during all this time he will be in his ministerial chair. Well, meritorious desire to save one job ... And what will employers say? ..
Zakareishvili said that in South Ossetia and Abkhazia, everyone should see how Georgia will take care of these republics. True, Mr. Minister’s vague plans cause only a desire to shrug. He says: “Today’s Georgia has very little to offer the Abkhaz and Ossetians, but in the future it’s a lot.” And Mr. Zakareishvili states that the Abkhaz and Ossetians do not need to wait for development assistance from Russia, because the quote: "How Russia cares about other nations is well illustrated by the example of the North Caucasus."
Obviously, Paata Zakareishvili, who for a couple with his boss, Mr. Ivanishvili, admitted that he cannot offer anything to South Ossetia and Abkhazia today, will work hard on himself. Interestingly, what does the minister intend to propose to the republics that have left Georgia? Perhaps it will be his personal daily walking tours of the Abkhaz coast in the clothes of the colors of the Abkhaz flag and loud chant of attracting the attention of songs in the Abkhaz language. And, perhaps, it will be laying flowers with the masters of Saakashvili and Ivanishvili to the obelisk who died from bullets and fragments of shells fired by the Georgian army to the residents of Tskhinvali and the Russian peacekeepers. Perhaps other steps ...
However, for the time being, the only suitable step towards reintegration on the part of the official is only the renaming of Tbilisi to Sukhum, and Gori to Tskhinval. Only after this, Zakareishvili will be able to report that he was able to return these settlements to the bosom of Georgia.
In the name of the queen
What kind of gifts do you give on New Year's Eve?
In the meantime, Mr. Zakareishvili promises gifts in the form of some kind of manna from heaven in South Ossetia and Abkhazia (in 6-7 years), in Britain they give gifts to the queen here and now. And what gifts: a whole piece of Antarctica! The press service of Her Majesty reports that now in the territory of the southernmost continent there will be not only Queen Maud Land, but also Queen Elizabeth II Land. Such a gift was received by the British monarch in the year of the celebration of the 60 anniversary of her own time on the throne. It is worth recalling that this is not the first personalized gift for Elizabeth II. Earlier, the famous tower was named after her, where Big Ben keeps track of time.
The new Antarctic territories, which the queen received as a gift, have an area larger than the United Kingdom itself almost 2 times.
On this occasion, there are considerations: why can the British give names to the Antarctic expanses, and other peoples of the world - no? And after all, a remarkable political loophole for the same Mr. Zakareishvili from the previous material could have been indicated here. The Georgian reintegration minister could use the practice of the British and give such names as “South Ossetia” and “Abkhazia” to two parts of the territory of Antarctica as a gift to the leaders of Georgia. And after all, problems with reintegration are then easily solved ... These territories can even be settled: for example, Mikhail Saakashvili’s inner circle together with the Georgian president himself, who at one time managed to ensure that now Zakareishvili had something to do in his ministry. No peacekeepers will interfere with the establishment of constitutional order: democratize penguins, do you want, seals, do you want ...
Who are the judges?
How Putin and Zorkin Argued About Knowledge of the Constitution
During the week, the All-Russian Congress of Judges added sharpness to the internal political life of the country. In general, a very bland event, which could be called a person on duty, suddenly turned into a very piquant political dish. Salt and pepper appeared in this dish due to the outlined local opposition of President Putin and the head of the Constitutional Court Zorkin. Putin at the judges ’congress declared that in Russia it was necessary to immediately introduce an institution of administrative proceedings, through which Russian citizens could resolve disputed issues with the authorities. However, Zorkin, in response to Putin’s words, said that Russia could do without an administrative court through the Supreme Arbitration and the Supreme Court. And at the same time he made it clear that it was time for the Constitutional Court to secure also the right to annul acts adopted by the courts.
Further, the situation reminded the duel of two fencers who tried to prick an opponent. Vladimir Putin noted that he himself is well acquainted with the Constitution, in which it is written in black and white about the administrative judicial sphere, but Zorkin made his attack and stabbed the president in the form of a joke about Brezhnev, who addressed Indira Gandhi as “dear Margaret Thatcher!” Whether Zorkin compared this tirade with “Brezhnev's anecdotism” Putin’s awareness with the letter of the Constitution is difficult to say, of course, but, nevertheless ... In response, Putin, having parried Zorkin’s attack, completed the anecdote about Leonid Ilyich. But he could also recall the story of A.S. Pushkin about a fisherman and a fish, in which one old woman wanted too many “powers” in the position of first a column noblewoman, and then a ruler of the sea, but in the end she found herself with a leaky washing device ...
What is the strength in, brother?..
How did the opposition burn
Relatives do not choose. It is about this that Oleg Navalny, who at one time managed to light up in the very opaque corridors of one of the departments of the most mobile domestic company, Pochta Rossii, has to talk today. The Investigation Committee decided to test how Oleg Navalny, who worked under the patronage of his “senior”, managed to convince a certain foreign company to conclude an agreement on mail transportation between Moscow and Yaroslavl, as a result of which 55 million rubles were deposited on the brothers ’accounts. Apparently, the RF IC does not understand how any foreign company in general has thought of entering into a contract with the Post of Russia. Maybe I would have understood, but the surname Navalny today acts magically on many, and so they did not stand in the Investigation Committee either. Now the brothers postmen remain under a subscription on their own recognizance.
And one more person, who can identify himself as Russian opposition, may soon go to sunny Siberia - to the city of Angarsk. This man is the same “stolen” Mr. Razvozzhaev, who, as it turned out, likes to talk nicely with Georgian politicians about the fate of Russia. However, in Angarsk, he did not go at all for this reason, but because in the dashing 90-e earned by ... tyril caps. At least that's what his lawyers say. Like, what is this Themis is so picky about Razvozzhaev: a man with just hats in Angarsk hunted, and she takes him by the breast ...
In general, the Investigative Committee decided to engage in clarifying the secrets of the past of our opposition. Well, what: mail and caps - as an option? If you dig even deeper, there may be something up to vouchers with chewing gum. But if it really goes to Angarsk by the end of the year: well, what is not the Decembrist ...
Part II. "We need to analyze the failure, not to repeat it"
In fourth place
For Israel, Singapore and Syria
The Bonn International Conversion Institute ranked global militarization. The most militarized nations of the world were in the 2012 year Israel, Singapore and Syria. From these countries, armed to the teeth, Russia is almost not lagging behind. is listed at 4-th place. The place is not a prize, and a bit offended that for Singapore, but what can you do? The West does not want to put Russia in the rankings for 1-e place. Neither the military nor the economic or democratic. That one will interfere, then another. Something does not work out with gender stereotypes, it turns out that Navalny and Udaltsov lack freedom of speech and action, then there is not enough points for the safety of citizens. What did not grow together in the military rating? It seems that Yarsy is there, and Topol is planted, and terrible rumors are circulating about Iskander in the West.
It turns out that pedantic German compilers, prone to relative bookkeeping rather than absolute accounting, accrued points based on determining the ratio of a country's military expenditures to its GDP, and not at all the amount of spending. From here, the United States, which is ahead of all countries of the world in terms of the so-called “defense” expenditures, took the 30 place in the formidable hit parade. You look at this line - and you think: “What a peaceful, contagious!” And then you translate a glance at position number four - and it becomes terrible.
Here is what they say about the Russian "non-prize" place:
"Compared to the United States (30-i position), Russia (fourth position) continues to demonstrate a higher level of militarization, even though the net military budget of the United States is much larger and in sum - 689 billion dollars - still ranks first place in the world. "
But what about the US! China, which is advancing on America’s heels in the arms race, turned out to be in eighty-second place. With a military budget of 129 billions of dollars.
The Germans also took into account the number of reservists. In fact, judging by the size of the population and the term service that many citizens undergo, not counting the lame and the oblique, Russia should have risen higher than Singapore or Syria. However, in Bonn, they flexibly approached the question of how to push the Russians off the odd pedestal.
Yes, in the Russian Federation there are enough of those who can be conventionally called “reservists”: here you’ve got comrades with battered military IDs who have long since served you, university students with military departments, people who are partially fit for military service, and even draftees who haven’t served. But the picky Germans do not believe that "in a real military conflict, all this army existing on paper will have some kind of combat value."
The warriors of Israel and Syria (for some reason, they are silent about Singapore) "army training regularly takes place, which means that they can at least shoot to old age."
The awkward Teutonic irony must have referred us to the traditional Russian drunkenness - the only occupation that the Russian peasant is able to indulge in just “regularly”, reaching in this very “extreme measure”. They say in Bonn there is a Russian anecdote in the course: “We know the measure, but will you drink it?”
At the same time, it should be noted that the Germans never “lowered” Russia below the tenth place. It was first included in the index in the 1992 year, that is, two decades ago. The burghers of Iskander are afraid, and they are also afraid to freeze without gas.
But the Germans did away with Ukraine and Belarus without fear. Ukraine took the 20-place, and Belarus was not lucky to be on the 16-m.
Rumor has it that Comrade Lukashenko, who recently declared himself the last dictator of Europe, is already preparing an answer to the rating herr from Bonn, who - in collusion with the authors of other ratings - only think about how to insult a decent In all respects, Minsk is another European dish.
In the meantime, “Batka” thinks, the Belarusian press has already begun artillery preparation: the popular Ezhednevnik edition has written that since 2000, the country has “frozen” in the second ten of the most militarized states of the planet, and this “can hardly be called a reason for pride”.
What kind of pride is there, if Russia is not followed by Belarus and Ukraine, but Jordan and Cyprus! One consolation: neither Ukraine, nor Belarus, nor even more so than Russia, the backward Americans and are not suitable for holding shoes.
Naked and frozen
Ukrainian activists undressed in Sweden, protesting against orders in Egypt
January 20 "in the snowy world of Stockholm, the apocalyptic, from the point of view of Islamism, the picture opened." So on site "Femen" begins a short press release on the new stock movement. This time, the glorious pretty girls were bare in Stockholm. They showed not only breasts, but everything else to a swedish-looking public. Not frightened them and light frost.
And then - after all, Aliya Al Mahdi, an Egyptian activist, whose heart Mohammed Mursi is not exactly the same as, say, the heart of the famous Inna Shevchenko, arrived in Sweden with the Ukrainians.
Aliya also showed the Swedes everything that was with her.
The protest at the walls of the Egyptian embassy in Sweden was directed against, quote, "the religious bondage of the latter-day prophet." “Femen” believe that the time has come to “support the Egyptian heroes opposing the sharia-dictatorial project of the constitution of President Mursi”. As soon as this Islamist, and concurrently the Pharaoh, will be thrown out, the people of Egypt will have a chance for "decent democratic development."
In photos that have bypassed the Internet, three feminists at the embassy shamefully cover their genitals with models of “Torah”, “Koran” and “Bible”. Until now, it was not known that Mursi, to whom the Muslim Brotherhood had long interpreted the Quran, occasionally looks into the original sources of related religions.
However, on the website of the international movement "Femen" everything is explained:
"The three posters in the hands of the activists symbolize the three main religious books, so Femen warns the world about the dangers of the theocratization of constitutions."
It is unlikely that the President of Egypt will bother to read the posters of Ukrainian feminists, even if short slogans are written in accessible English, and not in barbarian Cyrillic. M. Mursi has his own plans for the future of the Egyptian people (or rather, not quite their own, but joint, prompted to him by the “Brothers”).
What will happen to the president if the meaning of what was said in democratic Stockholm does not reach him? Here's what:
“Femen” warns the Muslim brother Mursi that if he gives an order to shoot at his own people, then the last refuge will be not the honorable pyramids, but Nil’s teeming crocodiles. ”
One could already guess who will lead the “last and decisive battle” in Cairo, but ... But, I am afraid, the devout Egyptians will not appreciate the democracy that is personified by the Ukrainian woman’s naked bodies. And they will even less appreciate Aliya’s attractive nude figure. Traditionalist society is strong just for its strong conservatism with respect to moral values, and it will not go into the “final and decisive battle” behind the hologrud of democracy. Rather, it will go against such freedoms, which is why the “brother” Mursi will only win.
As for tolerant Stockholm, the performance of “Femen” was quite appropriate there ...
Obama instead of un
The editors of "Time" did not have enough spirit to place an atomic communist on the cover.
A week ago, it became known that the famous Man Kim Jong-un - a vigorous North Korean leader, who launches rockets with satellites and builds a bright future for his people without looking at the United States, could become the “Man of the Year” from the American Time magazine. Most readers of the popular weekly online survey chose "Man of the Year" is the leader of the DPRK.
In the rating, compiled on the basis of opinions of the readership, Comrade Eun won with an incredible margin: about 5,6 million people voted for him. American satirist and popular TV presenter Jon Stewart, who turned out to be in the 2-th place, scored 2,4 million votes. Third place was given to the collective image of an illegal immigrant (1,55 million votes).
But neither Eun, nor Stuart, nor the “collective image” were on the cover of the magazine.
The fact is that in the editorial board of “Time” they wanted to sneeze on the opinions of readers, and the survey itself there long ago turned into a formal act, which is nonetheless involved - because it attracts numerous visitors to the web resource. Decision on the "winner" take correspondents and editors whose opinions are summarized by the executive executive.
And suddenly, "The Man of the Year - 2012" became ... Barack Obama.
Of course, the win-win option is to print on the cover a portrait of a native president, even in such gloomy colors that the designer and photographer chose. A portrait of Kim Jong-un — for example, against the background of nuclear warheads, cotton cloths and smiling Korean women in khaki — would have looked, of course, much more festive. The dull Obama in the photo must be the personification of the economic crisis that has razed America to a “fiscal cliff” (fiscal cliff).
And so that readers understand the idea of the editors correctly, the choice in the journal explained:
"Despite the crisis and the impasse, President Barack Obama retained the confidence of the Americans and thus got a chance to revive the hope that inspired the country."
Thus, “Time” delicately warned the president: while we pray to you, the owner of the Oval Office, but one more wrong step, Kim Jong-un or his friend Comrade Ahmadinejad will replace your gloomy physiognomy.
It should also be noted that Obama became the “Man” for the second time (the first magazine honoring happened in 2008, after the black candidate won the presidential election). Thereby, again, a thick hint is given to him: you, mate, the second - and the last - is a chance.
Obama’s company is made up of outstanding “people of the year” of past years.
In 1938, the "laureate" was Adolf Gitler. In 1950 and 2003, the “image” of the “American soldier” won in the “competition”. In 1982, the "Man of the Year" became ... a personal computer. M. X. Gorbachev got on the cover of “Time” in 1987. In 2000, the executive editor chose George W. Bush (earlier, ten years ago, his father's bright face was printed on the cover). The youngest was so good in the “human” image that it was reprinted in 2004, a year after the US invasion of Iraq. In 2009, Time captured the jovial Ben Bernanke, the Fed boss. This man could not help but get on the cover: after all, he prints money for all of America, making it rich.
In addition, in the 2001 year in the “title” nominees walked Osama bin Laden.
In fact, all these faces, images and cars are a disguise, counterintelligence is understandable.
Five years ago, "Time" made Comrade Putin's "Man of the Year". Also present on the covers of Joseph Stalin - in 1939-m and 1942-m. Comrades Khrushchev and Andropov, too, were not deprived of editorial attention. So the Kremlin agent Barack Huseynovich Obamkin should be clear who is on the list is a screen, and who is on the case.
And Kim Jong Un is not to worry: his business is young.
Not Gates, not Buffett, not the king, but from the Kremlin, Comrade Putin
"Financial break" America is not terrible, if America sells Alaska
This brilliant idea the other day threw Obama, a representative of the US Treasury Department, Jim Millstein, and the Washington Post journalist Stephen Mafson brought it to the attention of the general public.
The tragic consequences of the impending "cliff" (earlier on the "VO" this was written here) for a couple with an intractable problem 16-trillion-dollar public debt can be easily prevented: you just have to put the state of Alaska up for auction. Countries and individuals would have plunged into the consumer competition, and the whole world would have watched the bidding with passion. Of course, bookmakers would take on competing bets. The starting price of Alaska is 3 trillion dollars.
Who will buy such an expensive and unique product? Bill Gates? Well, except on credit.
Warren Buffett? The same answer.
But even the IMF will not lend to this amount of these enterprising comrades, and they will not have enough of their cash.
Maybe Saudi dynasty? No, they have a very serious competitor on the way.
The first in line for the acquisition would be Russia:
“Vladimir Putin, who seeks to restore the power and glory of Russia, could restore the government’s residence in the former capital of Alaska, Sitka, the southern coastal city in which St. Michael’s Russian Orthodox Church has been preserved.”
In second place is also not the Arabs. While the Saudis are primitively selling their oil, the Chinese, looking to the future, are hunting for energy resources and territories:
"The Chinese could use their three-trillion-dollar reserves, most of which were invested in US debt to absorb Alaska’s natural resources and resettle overpopulated and polluted Chinese cities."
Moreover, this transaction could be carried out by the simple abolition of debt.
Jim Millstein voiced a proposal to sell Alaska at Worton Business School, at a conference on the problem of American debt. The sale of Alaska, in his opinion, could reduce the federal debt by 10-25% of GDP, returning it to a controlled safe framework. By the way, Comrade Millstein defines the best price for Alaska at four trillion dollars.
However, the economist observes, Barack Obama’s latest budget proposals suggest that the deficit from 2013 to 2017. will add 3,44 trillion dollars to government debt. Therefore, after some six years, Americans will have to wrestle with what state to sell.
“Besides Alaska, the government has other territories. It owns 40 and more percent of the states of California, Nevada, Oregon, Idaho, Arizona, New Mexico and Wyoming. Then there are the oil-rich federal waters of the outer continental shelf. ”
If the White House follows the simple ideas of Comrade Millstein, behind which the Kremlin trace is clearly stretching, then in fifty to seventy temporary owners of the Oval Office will sell half the country. Other states that are not in the proposed list could sell themselves - until the price of fragments of America, coming one after the other under the hammer, fell. Who is Texas? Who is Louisiana? Fly, cheaper!
The Russians would buy something, the Chinese something. Some areas on the sly would have departed Soros, Abramovich and Deripaska.
And the White House itself would become a separate dwarf state. Like Monaco. There, Obama's heir, sipping a dark honey beer in the Oval Office, would play with the former State Department employees in the board game Hegemony.
* “We don’t have Chicago here, but we don’t like it when we are put under our tail!” - phrase from the movie “Deja Vu”
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