Results of the week. "The attraction of unheard of greed!"
Serious Medvedev
About parcipeds and aliens
The humor of the highest Russian authorities in the week acquired new forms. The main person who decided to arrange a small humorous concert, quite unexpectedly, was Prime Minister of Russia Dmitry Medvedev. Recently, everyone somehow managed to get used to the fact that Vladimir Putin allowed himself to make sharp satirical statements, but then Dmitry Anatolyevich decided to intercept his baton and mark himself with several phrases in which many involuntary listeners did not find the irony, no matter how hard they tried. Hochma such as “teach your wife to cook soup” and “ears from a dead donkey” have given way to other statements that have almost half-legally leaked into the world broadcast. The fact is that the infiltration of “extra” information on the air is somehow closely connected with the name of Dmitry Medvedev.
Well, remember the episode, as they once forgot to turn off the microphone, and American President Obama at a meeting with Medvedev said that after the elections in 2012, the US position will become more flexible if he (Obama) is elected for a second term. Then Dmitry Anatolyevich was also noted, saying that such words would definitely convey to Vladimir.
And now - the same parsley again. This time, the Russia Today TV channel decided not to stop its broadcast via the Internet and did not turn off either the microphones or the cameras. Apparently, the employees who were preparing the broadcast did not know that the chairman of the government was a gullible person and believed that after the phrase “Stop! Shot! ”You can talk on any topic. This time, “any topics” were on the plane of the work of the investigating authorities of Russia. In private conversation, NTV journalist Alexei Pivovarov decided to find out how it can work in such conditions, when investigators come to the journalists' private apartments with a sanctioned search at seven in the morning. Here you could expect what the prime minister would say: well, 7 hours are quite working hours, in the countryside the roosters have long been lifted up, and therefore Moscow journalists are good at bedding themselves ... But Dmitry Medvedev slashed it so much, declaring investigators, quote: "They are goats, that at eight in the morning they come." As can be seen, the head of the Government indirectly designated the lower time limit for the work of the investigators, from which those should begin to conduct their work ...
Investigators did not long digest information about their similarity with certain representatives of the fauna, and issued through the mouth of the press service in the person of Vladimir Markin the words that they were surprised by the comments insulting their honor and dignity. Markin even decided to remind the premiere that the UK in terms of searches works with 6: 00 to 22: 00. They say, well, okay, 5: 57 would come in - then you can still talk about some kind of paroxysm of the declared employees, but 7: 00 is a normal time for searches.
Markin also said that the search was conducted by journalist Pavel Kostomarov in order to find in his apartment the evidence on the case of the riots that occurred on May 6. Also, of course, Vladimir Ivanovich mocked. After all, it turns out that the riots took place back in early May, and the investigators set out to look for some kind of evidence already in December ... Some sort of too impressive time gap is obtained.
Maybe it was all wrong. Maybe, the investigators simply returned after a long night walk: it was cold outside, the clubs were closing, so they thought: would you come to have a cup of coffee, warm up, sleep ... Well, it’s not the 7 wives in the morning , in fact ... And then in his briefcase someone suddenly accidentally found a search warrant for Kostomarov, in which (in the warrant) a surviving sandwich was wrapped. Guys, we are rescued - all to Kostomarov - apparently the cheering investigators cried out and ran in a troop to the house of the documentary, throwing snowballs at each other. It got light ...
However, the episode with the investigators in the speech of Dmitry Medvedev was not the only one that deserves special attention. Dmitry Anatolyevich decided to ironicize on the transfer of the “nuclear suitcase” and the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations. The prime minister said that not only the portable control panel of the nuclear shield is transferred from the president to the president in Russia, but also the list of aliens on Earth. To look at this list, Medvedev advised simply to watch the film "Men in Black".
And why did he just say that? .. Immediately there were particularly impressionable journalists in the world (naturally, in the West) who, picking up the words of the prime minister, said that they know a lot about aliens in Russia, but, quoting, “they are silent in order to preserve public order. " I seriously attended to the presence of extraterrestrial individuals on Earth, about which “something is known” to Medvedev, the Italian “Corriere della Sera” (“Evening Courier”) - an edition of almost a century and a half history. Many have heard about senile insanity, but it turns out that it has a place to be in the case of print publications ... It would seem that the Italians are cheerful people, understanding jokes, but apparently the crisis has affected them ...
My dad is a millionaire
Coming Serdyukov in Molochny Lane
Developing the topic, we can say that Dmitry Medvedev, in an interview with journalists from several media outlets, stated that he did not see anything reprehensible in the work of dismissed Defense Minister Anatoly Serdyukov as the main person on military reform ... Such words were picked up by representatives of the Investigative Committee, who was offended by the "non-air" premier was apparently short-lived. Investigators announced that Anatoly Serdyukov was not involved in the case of the theft of Oboronservis, and all the dirty work may have been done exclusively by Yevgeny Vasilyeva behind his boss ...
Recall that for Evgenia Vasilyeva, during the investigation, the court “organized” a house arrest by finding a young lady in her own 13-room apartment in the capital’s Molochny Lane, where in a couple of days she felt insanely lonely ... In general, the girl sits in the dungeon, and spit ...
So, Evgenia Vasilyeva, according to a number of media reports, it became psychologically difficult to be in a confined space, and she ordered ... uh, asked the court to allow her relatives and relatives to visit her modest girl’s nest in Molochny Lane, and also to allow her to go shopping ... It turned out that one of those people whom Evgenia Nikolaevna would like to see first of all should have become and, apparently, became Anatoly Eduardovich Serdyukov. In particular, the Russian Service News”Reports that the ex-minister allegedly even spent the night with his psychologically depressed ex-subordinate after easing the conditions of her arrest. Apparently, we sat and talked, as expected. Perhaps even so:
he - her: Why are you, Eugene, behind my billionaire scam turned around, ah, you snake-like snake-ah-ah-ah ...
she to him: Oh, Anatoly Sokol Eduardovich, why do you say heresy? Surely you yourself are not making little paperwork-a-al?
However, let us leave possible private conversations of two loneliness and move on to where completely unexpected information came from. Literally the other day, Yevgeny Vasilyeva’s father, Nikolai, came to the light of day. And not just a father, but in addition a whole millionaire. It was he himself who introduced himself in one of his media interviews. Agree: a rare bird will come out on the platform and call itself a millionaire. But here is a special case. Adventures - and billionaires will be recorded ...
Nikolai Vasiliev said that he bought his daughter's apartment “just” for 44 million rubles (and not half a billion) before his daughter ended up in Oboronservis, that her diamonds are solid jewelery, and that all the charges are just ridiculous. True, the father did not tell about the paintings: maybe they were bought by him personally in Russian museums or it was the fruit of the home art of the Vasilyev family ... He did not tell about the millions of rubles that the investigators found in the "bad" apartment. Apparently, he gave millions to Eugenia for spending ...
Maybe Nikolai Vasiliev and the Oboronservis oil terminal in Murmansk bought for his daughter, so that there was something to refuel in the event of an unexpected departure towards the polar latitudes ...
In general, one should expect that after some time a certain cousin of Mrs. Vasilyeva (also a millionaire) will appear on the stage, who with her working hands would spread the brick to the brick building in Molochny Lane, burning them in a personal microwave, and signing documents for Evgeny “Oboronservis” "While her niece rested either in 7, or in 9, the bedroom of her apartment ...
Earned on the terrorist attack
Victims of the 9 / 11 attack did not receive a cent
Corruption in Russia, speak? Oboronservis, GLONASS, Rosagroleasing ... There are some. And there is another organization that has managed to rob the state and citizens in an amount that is many times larger than the above organizations were able to do. You ask: what is this desk that could beat the real giants of Russian corruption? The answer is: this is the American Foundation for Assistance to Victims of the September 11 2001 attack. There is such an organization in the USA. Its purpose: to pay monetary compensation to all victims on the basis of special applications filed by those (or their relatives). Such applications at the moment received at least one and a half thousand units to the address of the Fund.
One can ask the question: how much in terms of money from the Fund did the families of the dead and injured as a result of the nightmarish tragedy of September 2001 receive? How many? And not at all ... Exactly: zero dollars, zero cents ...
We received zeros even after the issuance of a special act on the need to pay a total of 2 billion 700 million dollars, signed by President Obama. However, the Foundation did not itch ...
Just imagine: none of the victims in the United States got anything at all, even after personal intervention in the President’s case! The colossal money is simply scrolled (or openly stolen) in the Fund’s accounts, and the decision of Congress and the president is sabotaged by the organization’s staff, citing the fact that thousands of applicants didn’t correctly fill in the necessary documents with 1,5. Why, even Rosagroleasing with its 39 billions is not far behind where the “lost” rubles. The “aid” fund from the USA, like the Orlov trotter, is breaking out ahead with a large margin.
You see, the documents were filled out incorrectly ... Not otherwise, the Fund employs people with last names that are consonant with the last names “Vasilyeva” or “Elkin”. It is interesting in which apartments the staff of the aforementioned American organization resides, because in New York there are enough of their own “Milky Lane” and “Kiselny Avenue” ...
Encourage worthy
Deputies make stocks to live to the end of winter
At the end of the year in our (and not only our country) it is customary to encourage the most efficient citizens who have shown themselves from the best side. One of these types of incentives is cash incentives. Is there not enough worthy gentlemen in our country who could be encouraged before the New Year? Government agencies decided to reflect on this topic and reward the most presses. Whom? - you ask. Well, of course, our deputies. Who else? ..
The Vedomosti newspaper reports that in a recent interview, a State Duma deputy stated that the New Year awards for deputies would be from 10 to 50 (!) Salaries. The amount of salaries for the size of the award will determine the heads of individual units. And although it is not customary to consider other people's money, but here it seems like another case: the elects are ours with you, and therefore you can afford to make some estimations and evaluations.
Given the data received from the State Duma of the Russian Federation itself, the Lower House of Parliament managed to save 34 a million rubles for the year, which it was decided to divide among the deputies. The publication “Novye Izvestiya” and “RSN” calculated that the average premium for our legislators will be 420 thousand rubles ... Someone who doubts the inadequacy of the work of Russian legislators will certainly ask: why so much? The Duma responds roughly like this: after all, for the first two New Year months (January and February), Duma members will sit on the “bare” salary. They say that solid prizes will allow our deputies to spend the winter at the very least ... After all, although the majority of deputies and the “bears”, you will not be fed up with just one paw in winter, which is why such serious care for those who are more than others support our well-being. Hibernate on our health, our native lawmakers! .. And the teachers and doctors will somehow stretch out on jams and pickles ...
Old woman with interest
What should the Moscow Helsinki Group live on now?
During the week, the news came that the Moscow Helsinki Group would remain afloat for the next year thanks to donations from Russian citizens. Lyudmila Alekseeva reported that 2,5 million rubles had been received in the MHG accounts (about six average deputy prizes. - Author's note). Exactly one million donated by Mikhail Prokhorov personally, who had scooped change from his pockets, and another 1,5 million came after the concert of Yuri Shevchuk.
It is obvious that the MHG without foreign investments is difficult, and therefore there is only one way out - either working with Russian sponsors or continuing to take money from the West, spitting with a high bell tower on Russian laws. However, the second case threatens with well-known sanctions, which include, for example, such as 480 hours of mandatory work or 300 thousands of rubles of fine. And if Lyudmila Mikhailovna and his colleagues of 300 still pull thousands (Mikhail Prokhorov can split a piggy bank in the end), then 480 hours of cleaning the water closets and sweeping Moscow streets is unlikely. Although…
In general, if you see on the streets of the capital a strange company in orange vests with brooms in their hands, headed by an old woman with a familiar face, it means that they could not resist in the MHG - they took the dollars from their overseas friends.
Part II. “What do you think, pastor, what is more in a person - a person or an animal?”
Hamas militants began to smell
Now they are easy to distinguish in a crowd
In Gaza, they invented and launched a new perfume with a geopolitical smell. The new perfume collection “M75” is obviously intended to perpetuate the recent victory of the Palestinians over the Israelis. Moreover, it is assumed that the perfume (female version) and eau de cologne (male version) will bypass the whole world and even visit China.
“The fragrance of these spirits is as fragrant and refreshing as the smell of the rockets of the Palestinian resistance. We want people to be proud of our victories, wherever they are, in the Gaza Strip or China, ” advertises product Shadi Advan, the owner of a cosmetics company responsible for the name of the new fragrance.
Perfume is produced by a Palestinian company founded in 1999. Men can buy today a black and green package with the slogan "For those who choose to win." Women are offered a pink and black design, and the box is signed like this: “Fragrance, before which you cannot resist.”
Missile "M75" - a symbol of the Palestinian militants. It is assumed that this very November 20 rocket hit a residential building in Rishon Lezion, 15 kilometers south of Tel Aviv. Result: four wounded. Undoubtedly, there is a reason for triumphal statements.
The manufacturer is going to install roadside billboards advertising fragrant products in Rafah, that is, on the border with Egypt. We are not talking about China yet, but deliveries of perfumes to Egypt are already planned. By the way, few people will be surprised if Mr. Mursi and those who stand behind him will pull with the flavor "М75".
As for Tel Aviv, sending perfumes of this brand will, of course, be accompanied by some difficulties. Although spirits are not the cheapest - they cost fifty shekels - in Israel, their smell will be associated more with the advent of Hamas militants than with a meeting with a beautiful stranger.
The fact is that the boxes with М75 last week were received as a gift by the head of the Hamas politburo, Khalid Mashal, and the head of the Hamas government in Gaza, Ismail Khaniya.
Kim Jong-un at the zenith of glory
And the “Star” is shining, and the readers of Time magazine love
This week, Kim Jong-un has two joys: great joy and little joy.
First, the rocket was launched as it should, the steps fell off as they should and fell where necessary, and the satellite "Shining Star-3" was put into orbit. True how assure the Americans, some two more things got into orbit - most likely pieces of the third stage of the rocket, and the North Koreans have no connection with the satellite, but in the DPRK it’s not customary to talk about such trifles not only in people but also in kitchens.
DPRK leader Kim Jong-un reached the podium and delivered a speech in which high appreciated achievements of scientists and technologists and expressed gratitude to them on behalf of the Central Committee of the Labor Party. No matter how muddied the Americans are, the position of North Korea as a space power is now strong. In addition, a small communist country has demonstrated to the world the firm intention of the party and government to use the legitimate right to the peaceful exploration of outer space. The young North Korean leader promised: "We will continue to launch satellites in the interests of the development of science, technology and economics."
Secondly, after the cosmic success, the public one also struck. Comrade Eun gained worldwide fame and became a candidate for secular lions. It happened this way: the editors of the American weekly "Time" conducted an annual survey, during which readers chose "Man of the Year." According to the will of the majority, it turned out to be the North Korean leader.
Как notes the magazine, since Kim Jong-un has stood at the helm of the DPRK, he “strengthened his control over the country, got on the cover of Time (in February) and was even called the sexiest man of the year.” True, the latter turned out to be a joke from the satirical magazine "Onions".
There is one caveat: the choice of an influential magazine (it will be voiced by 19 December on the NBC channel) is not based on the opinions of readers, but reflects the point of view of experts and editors. And quite often the choice of readers and editors do not match. So Comrade Eun may not get the "title".
Nevertheless, in the ranking, compiled on the basis of the opinions of the readership, the leader of the DPRK won with a noticeable margin. About 5,6 million people voted for him. American satirist and popular TV presenter Jon Stewart, who turned out to be on the 2-th place, got far fewer votes: 2,4 million. Third place was given to the collective image of an illegal immigrant (1,55 million votes).
It is difficult to say how honorable the title of "Man of the Year." On the one hand, in 1927, this “title” was given to an American pilot, Charles Lindberg, who single-handedly crossed the Atlantic by air. Winston Churchill, Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin and Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin were also “titled”. On the other hand, such persons as Adolf Hitler, George W. Bush and Barack Obama were also recognized as “People of the Year”.
Of course, Comrade Eun would not refuse to go down in history next to Comrade Stalin. But to be inscribed in the “Time” table somewhere near the posh Fuhrer, geographer Bush or Libyan invader Obama? .. The dispersion of expert opinions of the journal naturally amazes.
Finnish child weaning system is improving
Judgment and effect is in the past
Recently, Anastasia Zavgorodnya and her husband Finnish social services took away all four children. Court, scheduled for December 15, social service did not wait. The motives of the seizures were the following: the mother is tired, the father is also tired, and the mother is also mistrustful of the officials.
From four children get tired of anyone. If, for such a reason, to start withdrawing children, all children will be urgently withdrawn throughout the world. What to do with them next is the question. Build a state according to the recipes of Comrade Plato? As for the incredulity of the officials, then at the place of Zavgorodnyaya, anyone would become incredulous. The Finnish social security services are guys with fantasy: they will take the children, then return them, then take them away again, then, finally, they will announce their final and irrevocable withdrawal and transfer to the foster family.
This week, the Finns, obviously, decided that the case with the kids of Zavgorodnaya should be somehow arranged within the framework of the law. Well, at least in hindsight.
Therefore, the socialist services whispered and went to parliament. There, according to rumors, they were able to quickly persuade the legislative branch, which seriously thought that the court and the investigation were dragging on for a very long time, and therefore the children should be withdrawn in a speedy manner - that is, without trial, perhaps, by sending to authorized families triples. " In short, in 2013, the Finnish parliament can pass a law by which the guardianship authorities will have the right to take their children away from their parents just by joking. "Guardians" can enter any home and select the children they like, as such.
Jokingly slapping a child in the ass — and an over-naughty father is handcuffed. How to prove, how to determine slap or not slap, and father slapped, or not father? Previously, for this was carried out the investigation, at least formal. From 2013, the decision can be made solely by a social worker on the basis of an ordinary anonymous letter. And children will be able to withdraw for three months, or even for three years.
Finnish human rights activist Eugene Hilden-Jarvenpera on the social service says: “In reality, it turned into a punitive organization. In 2008, she was given very large powers. In words, it is believed that the main goal is to help the family. But in practice there are excesses. Social workers themselves note this. It turns out that there is simply no resources to help the family. And the only method is the removal of the child. Even the Minister of Finance made a request for how this money is spent. There are already a lot of questions. ”
That's how it is simply explained ... To help the family, I'm sorry, nothing. But something must be done, should statistics be kept? So, we will withdraw. In addition, withdrawal is a profitable deal at the local level. For each seized, state funds immediately begin to flow. We know: in Finland, life has come to the point that, as in the crisis of Britain, people stand in long lines behind a bowl of soup and slice of black bread. The one who has sex, manages to snatch and a piece of low-fat sausage. And here - an effective and completely legal way to replenish the local budget.
A spokesman for the Russian Mothers public organization, Irina Bergset, told the truth - not only about Finland, but generally about the West: “For the West, a child who grows up with his parents does not bring anything to the state. As soon as the child is separated from the parent, he becomes a commodity. The state allocates money to the region, to the city - everyone receives money, including the adoptive family. If the child is injured, then it becomes even more expensive. This is a paradox! In a foster family, it is beneficial to injure a child, then he needs care and more funds are allocated to him. When we, the Russian parents, faced this, it just shocked us. ”
In Finland, the adoptive family receives 1800 euros per month (!) For one ward child, and the city for each withdrawal of a minor is 2200 euros. Admittedly, the removal of children under such a commercial system will not stop. Most likely, it will really be simplified in Finland: they will make a business pipeline out of it. Too many of those who benefit from this business: from adoptive parents and private shelters to local and regional deputies.
“Satanists,” “Scientologists,” “Jedi,” and “Heavy Metallers”
This is the alignment of believers in London
In Britain, the census results last year were finally released. After the publication in BBC News, it became clear why they took so long.
It turns out that over the past ten years in a country known for its wonderful scientistsThe racial, national and religious composition of the local population has changed significantly. Britons in Britain - less.
Proportion of migrants in England and Wales increased from 13 to 20%. And in London, “those who came in large numbers” constitute 37% of the population. 24 percentages are not even British subjects! The proportion of indigenous people (white Britons) from 2011 in London decreased from 58 to 45%. Most of the immigrants came here from India, Poland and Pakistan.
As for believers, there are only 59% Christians left in England and Wales (in 2001, there were 72%). Muslims were counted around 5%. But over the past years, supporters of other faiths have strengthened in the country.
The census participants, who declared themselves “Jedi”, had almost 177 thousands. Alas, their number has decreased - it turned out to be almost half as much as a decade ago. But let's look ahead: a new episode of Star Wars will be released in 2015, which means that in the coming years expect the opposite trend - the Jedi Knights in Britain will increase.
Smaller in England and Wales those who, filling in the column "religious affiliation", entered there "heavy metal". These accumulated about 6,2 thousand. More 2,4 thousand British consider themselves to be "Scientologists". Finally, almost two thousand "Satanists" live in England and Wales.
Those who do not believe in heavy metal, or Satan, or Master Yoda, have no choice but to declare themselves atheists.
The capital of British atheism turned out to be the city of Norwich, the administrative center of the English county of Norfolk. There, according to the census, 42,5% of people are not adherents of any religion.
So Vysotsky’s hoarse voice is heard: “Whoever does not believe in anything, even in hell, in spite of everything ...”
United States of Latvia
Opposition region stands for autonomy
In Latvia there is such a region - Latgale (Latgale). There live people who are not organized like all other Latvians. They have long started a bad habit of acting contrary to what the government wants. Maybe their humor is so strange, and maybe they really disagree with the government.
For example, in Latgale they unanimously vote for giving Russian the status of the state language in Latvia. Or the question of autonomy.
It would seem that dividing Latvia is like trying to partition a room in a communal flat. But this week in Daugavpils Passed conference on autonomy. One of the organizers of the conference, the leader of the party “For the mother tongue” Vladimir Linderman, said that officials were also invited to the event - for example, the mayors of Latgalian cities: Daugavpils, Rezekne, Ludza and others. True, none of them came to dare.
The officials decided to preface the forum with a search action: on the eve of the conference, searches were held in the apartments of the leaders of the “For the Native Language” party.
But Latgalians are stubborn people. The conference took place. Find a reason for the formation of autonomy was not difficult. The Latvian government was remembered for everything: the economy, which breathed its last, and the tiny salaries of the working people, and mass unemployment, and the migration of the population to those regions where the “ass is warm”. Even local businessmen expressed discontent, saying that they did not support their government. Other regions are given money for all kinds of programs there, and for us - a cookie with butter. And sometimes without oil.
And if everything is so bad and unfair, Latgale will be talking about autonomy, thus defending broader rights in the composition of the Latvian state. Stubborn people from the party “For the native language” are already promoting to the masses the idea of the forum of the peoples of Latvia. There, probably, the question of the fate of the deprived region will be brought up for discussion.
The program to diversify the workforce of the CIA - in life!
Secret homosexuals in the secret service
In the current liberal-tolerant times, when there was practically no valuable personnel left in the United States - who drank themselves, who moved along the heroin path, who were stupid from birth, and who got stuck in the service - to the CIA, in order to at least fill someone made a knight's move.
As part of the workforce diversification program, the American intelligence service appealed to the LGBT community: “Dear gays and dear lesbians! Do you want to become real secret agents and make a brilliant spy career? ”
Gay men - recruiters tracked down in large numbers on the coast of Miami. In these places, normal people are almost gone, so even such poor intelligence officers, like CIA workers, quickly smelled nearby all sorts of “colorful” ones.
The CIA also found a patron friend of gays and lesbians - represented by the head of the outreach program for recruiting Michael Barber. This mr call themselves as "direct ally" of homosexuals. It turns out that the CIA has developed programs for same-sex couples. Barber said this at the presentation of the program in Miami and at the same time boasted: “We already have experience serving LGBT employees abroad with our partners.”
The initiative of the CIA should be considered correct. The fact is that in the so-called countries, homosexuality strengthens day by day. Therefore, a traditional orientation spy is today only half a spy. If a slightly tinted, slightly roasted and slightly streaked gay scout can easily roll up to the desired male object, then how to be heterosexual in such a difficult situation?
That's it.
And at the American Military Academy, West Point, in the Cadet Chapel, recently was played first same-sex wedding: 52-year-old Penelope Dara Gnesin, who suffers from multiple sclerosis, and Brenda Sue Fulton, 53-year-old graduate of the academy, and now the director of the communications department of the Outserve organization, which deals with problems of military personnel who do not hide their orientation, have been married. . She is also the first openly homosexual member of the Council of Visitors to West Point. Reverend Vanessa R. Southern, priest of the Unitarian church, married the couple.
And in Amsterdam, they say, the mayor of the city, a well-known defender of the rights of gays and lesbians, was going to drive heterosexuals out of their homes and settle them into containers placed in industrial areas ...
And you say - life is boring. You just do not read the news!
"The attraction of unprecedented greed!" - A phrase from the movie "Big Change"
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