"Now you're demobilized." And now disco
Episode III of a new fairy tale with a sequel
Part humorous, kind, April Fools
All characters, times and places are fictitious. The author is not responsible for anything, these are just his senile senile memories.
Bear-toed
There lived a quiet, peaceful and calm “Clumsy Bear” - two zero five meters tall and one and a half centners in weight - they say about such people “And he won’t hurt a fly!” - and it was the honest truth... While he was sober... Already a couple of bottles of beer literally - "And whoever didn't hide, it's not my fault, whoever is against me."
Well, in his first year, he was still more or less - after all, "sissy", "good boy" and all things ... But when he was demobilized ... When in the evenings or at night he wandered to the nearest round-the-clock stall for catch-up - local fuligans were “blown away like the wind”, and our area was then one of the safest in the whole world - he literally beat brawler fools into the asphalt just a month after the demobilization ...
On the one hand, an excellent student, a medalist, a future Red Diploma student ... On the other hand, well, you yourself understood who ... At the end of October, the head of the hostel posed the question point-blank: either Sergey heads the local community self-defense squad - or let him look for a room in an apartment in the capital of our country... Back then, as it used to be, students organized themselves into self-defense squads and looked after order... It was kind of voluntary... But mostly it was forced...
As for the "grandmothers" for Sergei, it was time to spit - like he was a major, he was 200 rubles. every month his parents sent him “for food” ... But actually informing his parents that he was kicked out of the hostel was really “like death” - Sergey, against the background of his father, looked “suffocated”, and we were witnesses when his father, however, also under gas, visiting his son, stupidly, just lightly on an argument with one blow, he made a hole in the wall one and a half bricks ... With his bare fist ...
In general, before the choice - to become the head of student self-defense or die of death not brave at the hands of his father - he chose "5 minutes of shame" ... Oh, how we all made fun and joked together the first week before the nearest disco in our hostel ... Until now, as I remember, I'm lying under the table from those jokes .. .
And then the jokes suddenly ended abruptly - when he, with a red armband "Chief", stood up "on defense" of our disco from the "outsiders" ... Fools-outsiders lay down in piles in front of the entrance ... Smart-outsiders immediately became his "stuffed buddies" - those who knew how to negotiate and, on the word of honor, behave like “good boys” nevertheless penetrated our disco ... It only took a couple of times, who “mowed like good boys” and did not keep his word - and what happened to them then Seryoga did - so that later on our discos there would be "quiet, smooth, but God's grace." Rumors are...
Well, Sergei knocked down a dozen bootuzers at once in one person - and everyone already knew that he killed half the district! Well, an ambulance arrived after being called by the police - took three to the intensive care unit - it’s business ... He received a letter and gratitude from the police “for the capture of especially dangerous criminals” ... Well, they left him to live on in our hostel ...
By the way, his parents never found out about his "creativity" - he decided so, he did not need extra fame. His mother was sure that she had a “gentle calf” ... And he did not want to upset her ...
It was like in a hostel... Nearby there are 5 more hostels from our institute - but electronics live only with us, and our local handy discotheques arranged such - starting with color music, continuing with sound design and ending with the repertoire of discos - entrance was only student cards, however, it does not matter which institute, and the hall had a capacity of plus or minus 250 seats in total.
On March 8, invitations to a disco were sent out specially to the nearest hostel of honey - and then they let in either ours, or only from honey - with student cards ... It's worth it, so, Serega and checks everyone according to the code ... He lets someone in, sends someone ... Here in front of him is a flock of girls from honey ... He missed everyone - except for one ... He got to the bottom of her clothes - they say, this is not accepted , too bold outfit ... He didn’t let me in for half an hour - until the girl agreed to go to the disco under the personal responsibility of Sergei and under his personal control ... As he later told us: “Yes, figs, I would have allowed anyone to dance her at least one slow dance without me!"
So, there lived a hardened bachelor... And he died... And a husband was born... In just a couple of months... Humble and obedient... For his wife...
I'm not a coward, but I'm afraid!
In general, there lived and there was one bright, to the point of complete clarity, a person who could not be calmed down even with dogs. Ha, they would have found them with dogs - from the age of five he was a “dog lover” to the marrow of his bones, and he understood them better than people. They even kicked out of our institute from the first year with the wording "Ataman", that's right with this one, but this did not stop him - he served in the army, a year later he recovered, and immediately to the second year, having passed the external course for the "missed" year.
There was a Baran according to the sign of the zodiac and did not see such obstacles point-blank. And in the Crimea and in the eye, and nothing will surprise him, such a bastard. Afgan passed, returned all gray-haired, was not afraid, as they say, neither the devil nor God ... He had the nickname "Tank" - because he was moving towards his intended goal, not seeing obstacles - this is to complete the image ...
And then once - and we began to notice at one of our discotheques that in the presence of one girl he somehow became suspiciously very calm. All straight from himself such a "refined intellectual." And this is taking into account the fact that he, like an atomic icebreaker, dragged this girl by the hand through a crowd of hundreds of people who wanted to get to the disco, which Sergei did not let. And through Sergei, too, by the way. Places at the disco are already over - the hall is not rubber! Sergey only had time to answer “Hi!”, and Tank and the girl went through him like a hot knife through butter.
Well, we piled on - they say, what is it. "Guys, I'm afraid of her! The inferiority complex is already developing.
In general, it turned out that a couple of days before our disco Tank she managed to chew and spit it out morally ... We met and completely abnormally - a demobilization from nefigs to do shot for fun in the shooting range of Gorky Park, and not without reason considered himself a good shooter, and then some girl comes in and smashes him to smithereens and dust. It turned out, since childhood, with her father in the garrisons, and an unbearable AK-47 - she was like a doll. And in terms of brains, she is more intelligent - from the summer she suggested how to solve one problem that he struggled with in the term paper, while he was dragging a “spry” behind her all crushed like that ...
There was a special prize - such a hefty teddy bear, meter by meter, in order to win it - you had to buy, well, let's say 50 bullets and go through the quest to shoot targets in the shooting range. She passed, he didn’t ... And then for 3 hours he dragged this teddy bear after her around Gorky Park, and then for another 2 hours in the restaurant he didn’t know where to attach it - well, Mishka didn’t want to sit quietly on a chair and that’s it! Everything strove to collapse and fall ...
The final guillotine was the solution to a common problem.
- Where did you fly to? What about breakfast?
- Yes, that's it, I'm late, after 20 minutes to take off, even the water will not have time to boil on the stove.
- Stand! - click with an electric kettle, then water into the pan - go, you have 5 minutes - and for breakfast!
Overall after this story and could not have another continuation. The only thing, as it turned out later, in the other corner, the “chants girl” told about the same story, only she was no longer better and smarter in the story. The hand washes the hand - so to speak, in a friendly family ...
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