"Now you're in the Army." Aibolit to the rescue

Part V of the New Year's fairy tale with a continuation

...At 7 am the UAZ “tadpole” arrived with a major from a friendly unit, but they didn’t let him in until 8 am – until the head of the AWP gave his own permission. At 8:15 at the divorce, the head of the AWP, having previously told the minder everything that he thinks that only 10 of the 6 engines rebuilt according to the plan are ready, and this despite the fact that the month ends in a week, carelessly so, casually informs him same: if he suddenly has a free minute, let him look out of the corner of his eye at the engine that comrade major rattled on.

At 9 in the morning, having opened the dry sump pan, the minder finds there instead of oil a set of some kind of piece of iron. At 9:30 am, a “medical consultation” is assembled from a minder, a turner and a blacksmith with the participation of the major.

... Minder (looking at a pile of obscure scrap metal that fell out of the engine, which he saw for the first time in his life):

- It seems to me, although I could be wrong, that in a past life it was a gear ...

Turner:

- In principle, it seems to be true: on this piece of metal, traces of the cutter are clearly visible ...

Blacksmith:

- Well, yes ... and they hardened this piece at +1, dipping it in engine oil ...

Major (with hope in his voice):

- AND?..

Motorist:

- Well, I'll have a free minute, so I'll take a closer look at this scrap metal ...

"330 each"

This is followed by a scene - a small one, about half an hour:

... And the next morning, the happy owner of an engine unknown to science (rebuilt better than zero straight from the factory), smiling with all his 32 teeth, leaves the workstation. And on the ARM for two more days among his own, “close to the emperor” (the outfit was issued for 72 hours), it was approximately like at the end of this song beloved by the author:

Well, in order, so to speak, to dot the letter e: not every bird at the age of 28 grew up in the rank of major to the position of deputy technical officer of the unit. Therefore, at first he us in all the cracks, before giving out “330 to each”, and then we walked day and night, like that Peresyp.

The author saw that particular type of starter for the first and last time in his life. But ... "With the help of a hammer, a chisel and some kind of mother," you can do everything for the sake of your "330 to each."

Garna divchin

... With that major, in general, there was a joke from his very first day, when he appeared as a yellow-mouthed flyer in the distribution unit from the school. He arrived at the unit on Wednesday, until the next Monday he was given time to get comfortable, and on Friday evening he, “not knowing the ford”, right in the form pinned to a local disco. One "galna maiden" loudly announced: "This is mine!" (nonsense, just a couple of bruises under the eyes of competitors and left), and dragged him to her dacha for the weekend - so to speak, to get to know each other better.

On the weekends, in between “talks about nature, the weather and youth fashion” with his future wife, he found Pobeda in the garage in a state of “they put it in a coffin more beautifully” - and purely out of sports interest, he started it. On Monday morning, when he realized that by 8 in the morning he couldn’t make it to the unit for the divorce (because the “farewell” was very long), the girl herself offered to drive him to the unit on Pobeda and swore to solve all the problems with her grandfather for her check.

By 8 o'clock, he did not have time to arrive at the unit - ha, he still would have had time, if he was driving for almost the first time in his life! But fortunately the numbers were military, black - and the gays did not slow down, and the Vishniks did not get caught along the way.

At noon, it seemed to the special officer of his unit that the numbers on Pobeda were painfully familiar to him from the time when he himself was a yellow-mouthed - and he "hit the right place."

After lunch, the colonel-general rushed to the unit and could not believe his eyes: the Pobeda, a gift from his father-in-law for the wedding, traveled about 100 kilometers under its own power. But once he himself, being a master of gold hands, tried to revive her for five years in a row on a rare weekend, and then spat and scored. And I forgot.

It was then that the major's life began to sparkle with new colors. In the part where he originally arrived, he did not even stay for a month: he was already transferred as a senior lieutenant to another, "particularly close to the emperor."

The major was distinguished by a simply phenomenal ability to organize the solution of any technical problem in any place on time under the motto "tomorrow morning everything will be chuki-poki". If the author shouted to all "strangers", from the ensign to the major general:

... then the major's "clients" were from the colonel and above. This "bird" in its abilities turned out to be of a higher flight than the author.

... And now, together with a student, you carry 10 kilometers across rough terrain on a construction stretcher, two capitalized batteries from a zilka in a state “better than zero” (not on a business trip, but self-propelled - this goes without saying), and then literally on your knees you tearfully beg change them for a starter from KAMAZ in any condition and swear with an oath that next time they will “tear off only one skin” from the major instead of three. And he looks into your honest eyes - and in them it is written in large letters: "two."

As a result, we agreed on one and a half, and the author took out a zero KAMAZ starter from his unit, and even in a wooden crate - and this is taking into account the fact that even theoretically in the unit where the major served, there could not be KAMAZ starters, from the word "absolutely ".

So they lived in that fabulous country at that fabulous time:

• in even months, the major came with a "high petition" to our workstation,
• and on odd months the author "bowed low" to the major.

Forced remark

Handing over all my stash, caches and contacts in front of his demobilization, my boss gave me a short but capacious order about the major:

Shake it like the cat Basilio and the fox Alice shook the rich Pinocchio! But keep in mind: if you set him up at least once, diving into the stomach of a hungry crocodile will not be the smartest idea, he will get you there too.

And I don’t envy the fate of the greedy and stupid crocodile in advance,” he continued. “His skin will go to tailoring a bag and gloves for the major’s wife, and his head will decorate the trophy collection on the wall at their dacha.

But on the other hand, as soon as the northern furry animal knocks on the door of our closet, drop everything, and in any weather, having previously grabbed a case of Zhiguli Barnoe beer, bow at its feet. The major will love this fox, and dry it, and use it as a snack for beer.

The grandfather of the Garna girl, a retired general of the army, literally idolized the major, because at last there was a real man who managed to curb the "quivering doe". She had a character ... Well, how can I tell you? You will talk for five minutes and you will understand why it is customary to give female names to all hurricanes and typhoons.

And behind his wife, the major felt even stronger than behind a stone wall. She drove especially annoying lieutenant generals with a ladle in the literal sense of the word, when they, having learned the address of the major’s residence through blasphemy, at an inopportune time and out of turn tried to solve their minor problems with “a million scarlet roses” from the series “Satan’s hatch is jammed, and tomorrow control shots.

To be continued ...

Comments

[Lech from Android.]

A good owner always has a stash for all occasions ... he will not give it out even before being shot ... life has taught.

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: Lech from Android.

A good owner always has a stash for all occasions...he will not give her away even before being shot... life has taught.

On the one hand - I fully approve, sir!
On the other hand, how do you imagine a demobilized person dragging half a ton of piece of iron for demobilization, every second of them is practically a execution article for being taken out of the unit?

[rotmistr60]

In the part where he originally arrived, he did not even stay for a month: he was already transferred as a senior lieutenant to another

The author, I understand that in such stories it is not a sin to lie, but not to the same extent. Having come after school as a lieutenant, a month later they were already transferred to a senior lieutenant? Whatever general he is and whatever position he occupies, even he can’t do it - to make a senior lieutenant out of him in a month. And it's even interesting to read at your leisure.

[denplot]

Perhaps they were transferred to the position of senior lieutenant, so that later on the length of service he would receive a third star

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: rotmistr60

In the part where he originally arrived, he did not even stay for a month: he was already transferred as a senior lieutenant to another

The author, I understand that in such stories it is not a sin to lie, but not to the same extent. Having come after school as a lieutenant, a month later they were already transferred to a senior lieutenant? Whatever general he is and whatever position he occupies, even he can’t do it - to make a senior lieutenant out of him in a month. And it's even interesting to read at your leisure.

They also wanted to present to the government award for the implementation of a particularly important state task, but limited themselves to a cash bonus in total))) I’m saying - he was a technical genius

[andrewkor]

My friend had a victory. His idefix began to remake it and the Volga. I bought a decommissioned GAZ-22 body somewhere on the Ambulance, a year in the factory garage brought it to mind, and it turned out very well. He himself is a minder in the same garage, and the rest of the specialists are at hand! 1975.

[setter]

At 9 in the morning, having opened the dry sump pan, the minder finds there instead of oil a set of some kind of piece of iron.

The author, as they say, reported. There shouldn't be any oil in the "dry sump", that's why it is called "dry". This system is rare, used mainly on racing cars. And you will not find gears there. And if the gears in the pan are an ordinary UAZ engine of the ZMZ-402 type, in which the crankcase is "wet", and the gear oil pump is located in this very crankcase, and if it falls apart, then the gears will remain there. And if there is no oil there when opening the crankcase, the engine is stupidly "ruined".
Therefore, the plot is clearly sucked from the finger.
Another blunder -

"But fortunately the rooms were military, black"

.
Until 1977, in the USSR, all numbers were black, both military and civilian.
The article is, to put it mildly, shabby.

[not the one]

Come on, this is not the heading "Armament", and the article is not on the topic of a thoughtful discussion of the performance characteristics of different machines and mechanisms there with a serious expression on the face, but just chat and reminisce about your own, about different things. Remember, there was such a heading "Smoking Room" "or something like that? Well, this is like it!
"I understand what your trouble is. You are too serious. A smart face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All stupid things on Earth are done with this expression. Smile, gentlemen, smile!" ©

[setter]

Instead of "chat" to such "works" a slightly different word is appropriate, but they will be banned for it. It is not worth bringing the desire to "chat" to insanity.

[aglet]

"and so, chat and remember about your own, about different things."
It's one thing to slightly embellish reality, as after the second. another thing is to lie recklessly, as the author does. after all, he does not write for third graders

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: aglet

"and so, chat and remember about your own, about different things."
It's one thing to slightly embellish reality, as after the second. another thing- recklessly lieas the author does. after all, he does not write for third graders

You are the first person in my memory who is trying to reduce the saying "A fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it - a lesson for good fellows" to "A fairy tale is a lie"

[aglet]

"You are the first person in my memory,"
the rest, apparently, were embarrassed to tell you this. your stories are 90% out of thin air

[Virus-free crown]

And if there is no oil there when opening the crankcase, the engine is stupidly "ruined".

Damn, that's what I wrote! )))

[steelmaker]

"The article is, to put it mildly, shabby"
That's not the point. Putin and Serdyukov closed more than 70 military schools where such lieutenants were trained. Now such specialists are not trained and stocks are not made. Stocks are now only at the general's dachas and in the cities.

[aglet]

"The author, as they say, reported. There should not be oil in the" dry sump ", that's why it is called - "dry."
the author does not know much of what he writes about, but knows about the rest by hearsay. one gets the impression that he is not the daughter of an officer

[for]

Quote from Passeur

This system is rare, used mainly on racing cars.

As I remember, on all auto engines there is a dry sump (sump) that closes the flywheel with a clutch, there is a "gear" on the flywheel and starter. But it's hard to believe in everything.

[setter]

As I remember, all auto engines have a dry sump (sump)

You do not understand engines at all and do not understand what you are writing about. You don’t even know what a gear is. Sorry for being direct - you are a complete layman in this matter.

[Akuzenka]

The article is, to put it mildly, shabby.

Disagree. This article is not an article at all, but an entertaining story. There is a site with military funny stories, named after the name of "the future great commander, who has a coat of arms with a stork wing and a fish tail" (suddenly the moderators will take his name for advertising), that's the place for such a story.

[not main]

Quote from Passeur

Until 1977, in the USSR, all numbers were black, both military and civilian.

Actually, until 1982! Only the military were drawn, and the civilians were stamped with paint!

[Vladimir_2U]

that even theoretically, in the unit where the major served, there could not be KAMAZ starters, from the word "completely."
So they lived in that fabulous country at that fabulous time:

You read the current army - so little has changed.

[Cure72]

Thanks to the author. The writing is very easy and engaging. I enjoyed reading all the parts. I look forward to continuing!

[not the one]

I join! At least some kind of outlet from the surrounding reality! "Author, write ischo!" ©

[Taimen]

Lord, what cheap articles went to VO. Yes, even with such lies. Where are we heading? There is nothing to write about. Or the loot is urgently needed.

[Virus-free crown]

Author's addition to the fifth part of the Tale without editing by the Editors (To the VO editors for their gigantic work )

With that hot girl from birth, the same thing was not quite, how to put it mildly, smoothly. Her mother died at her birth, her father did not get out of business trips, and therefore the whole burden of her upbringing fell on her grandfather. Grandfather, a widower himself, at that time the chief of staff of the unit, periodically took her with him to the service when it was not possible to leave her to one of the relatives (because the kindergarten flatly refused to accept her into their glorious ranks - ha, still, when at 3 year she managed to set fire to the Christmas tree) and part of it was a practical second home. Of her smallest and most harmless childhood pranks was when her grandfather (he had to urgently leave on business from the unit) locked her in his office, gave her scissors, colored pencils and children's coloring, and she cut the wire of the telephone with high-frequency communication with the district headquarters . Oh, what happened next, what happened next ... when they couldn’t get through from the district headquarters

When her grandfather was sharply pulled out with an increase in rank and position in the district headquarters, he took with him as his deputy commander of the unit. A young captain from his unit was assigned a major out of turn and appointed commander of the unit. Grandfather periodically came to check how his former native part was doing, and the newly-made regimental commander personally threw a vole from the checkpoint of the unit to the headquarters room - at the checkpoint, the soldier pressed the button cunningly hidden under the table - the doorbell rang at the headquarters "Atas !!!" Then this button came in handy when the part became exemplary (in a good sense of the word) and the High Inspection Commissions roamed to them, as if to their home.

When the major from my fairy tale was already transferred to this unit as a starley, and the commander saw and recognized his then-fiancee - he shuddered - and forced him to personally throw a double of a vole - when a garnet girl appeared at the checkpoint in the office of the commander, a school bell rang:



both the regimental commander and the chief of staff closed tightly in their offices, sat quieter than the grass, below the water, and pretended that they had never been here. The officer on duty suddenly sharply recalled that, according to official duties, he is obliged to periodically check the unit entrusted to him, even visiting those places "Where Makar did not drive calves" ... And to the question of the girl: "Where is Uncle Vasya with Uncle Petya gone?" the duty officer at the headquarters ("who cannot"), looking with honest eyes, impudently lied: "They called to the district headquarters!"
- Where is the part?
- At the exercises!!!
... The whole part was enough for one single case, when she, already the wife of a major from the Fairy Tale, dragged and placed ficuses in tubs in parts (“Schaub beautifully bulo!” (c) ) and saw how the soldier was extinguishing a cigarette on a pot ... Five for half a minute, half of the unit separated the mad shrew from the poor kid ... He escaped with only a slight fright - his face was scratched to the point of blood, a bruise under his eye and a broken nose ... Lucky, one might say ... Oh yes, a crack in the rib does not count .. she just forgot, on emotions, that when her grandfather left her to "baby" for the special officer of that unit, nothing smart came to his mind than to start teaching her combat sambo techniques - "one hit = one corpse"))) Therefore everyone poked around from her no worse than cockroaches in the kitchen from a slipper - or even better))))))))))

There were major children's pranks when the girl disappeared from a specially protected part. First, within an hour they put the whole part on their ears - they did not find it. Then the most famous "pilots-self-propelled pilots" were called to the carpet as an "expert council", where a seven-year-old pigal could have gone from the unit. The council made a unanimous decision - "the mouse will not slip through, the mosquito will not fly by!" Then, with a small comb, they combed the entire neighborhood for two hours. Then the grandfather plucked up courage and courage, and nevertheless decided to report by phone to his son-in-law that his daughter had disappeared ... Now imagine his reaction when he enters his office, and there his granddaughter, puffing up with effort, tries to put a vase filled with half its height to put a bouquet of wild flowers there (well, a bouquet is not a bouquet - but an immense armful for sure) ... At the very time that even the commandant's office had already been called and they were looking for her everywhere with German shepherds

Of particular interest was the case when, in the absence of her grandfather in his office, she picked up the HF telephone and scolded the subscriber for his disrespectful tone ... After two hours, the enraged CAM of the deputy chief of staff of the district rushed to his grandfather’s office and wanted to express everything that he thinks about in his grandfather’s office German ... He had not yet had time to open his mouth, and the piglet declared:
- Comrade General! You are dressed out of order! (And the heat was +30, the General allowed himself to unbutton the top button on the officer's shirt and lower his tie by 5 cm) - she approached him and standing on tiptoe brought his appearance in accordance with the Charter

(Grandfather thought to himself - PPC I have no options)

The general somehow immediately vanished from his face, then took his grandfather aside and, in a mild, but ultimatum form, invited the whole family of his grandfather to his dacha for the next weekend for "kebabs" ... He also turned out to have a grandson, with approximately such inclinations, a couple years older than the garna maiden ... After the "gatherings" the grandson of the general said that the next "field trip" in the company of a girl would be only through his corpse, and he was ready to hang himself on a rope, without outside help, even without soap ... And then, already at the grandfather's life, life sparkled with new colors))) His granddaughter became a "scarecrow", with the help of which the General himself was already from the grandson of a pitchfork rope - and before, it was the other way around ...


Py Sy "Don't shoot the pianist - he plays as best he can" (c)
So many years have passed, you can’t remember all the details - but the essence is conveyed correctly

[aglet]

"Author's addition to the fifth part of the Tale without editing by the Editors"
I wonder how the author, being a conscript in a construction battalion, knows so thoroughly all the ins and outs of someone else's major, when he was still a green lieutenant?

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: aglet

"Author's addition to the fifth part of the Tale without editing by the Editors"
I wonder how the author, being a conscript in a construction battalion, knows so thoroughly all the ins and outs of someone else's major, when he was still a green lieutenant?

oh, who counted medical alcohol in liters when they were "bargaining"

[aglet]

"oh, yes, who considered medical alcohol in liters when they" bargained ""
yes, obviously, not you, with the major. you received a command - take the engine, and do it, without any alcohol and three days for a spree. you were a bird of the wrong caliber to negotiate something with you

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: aglet

"oh, yes, who considered medical alcohol in liters when they" bargained ""
yes, obviously, not you, with the major. you received a command - take the engine, and do it, without any alcohol and three days for a spree. you were a bird of the wrong caliber to negotiate something with you

There is such an anecdote ending with the words "Chukchi is not a reader. Chukchi is a writer" No offense - your posts remind me of him in all its glory))))))))
Re-read carefully how the "command" of the Head of our AWP sounded
Major - from the Strategic Missile Forces
We are an autobat
Yes, even without the permission of the Head of the AWP, he could not enter us ... not to mention everything else))))))

[aglet]

"I threw a vole from the checkpoint of the unit to the headquarters room - at the checkpoint, the soldier pressed the button cunningly hidden under the table"
from any checkpoint of the unit you can contact the "headquarters room" by phone, I will say more, this is a prerequisite, any signalman will say. no need to put secret buttons, burn signal fires and send horse and foot messengers, even in the construction battalion

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: aglet

"I threw a vole from the checkpoint of the unit to the headquarters room - at the checkpoint, the soldier pressed the button cunningly hidden under the table"
from any checkpoint of the unit you can contact the "headquarters room" by phone, I will say more, this is a prerequisite, any signalman will say. no need to put secret buttons, burn signal fires and send horse and foot messengers, even in the construction battalion

Yeah, Repin's oil painting - a call in the presence of the High Inspection Commission at the checkpoint to the headquarters of the unit - "Atas !!!" ))))))))))))))))))))) once again made laugh

[aglet]

"with the presence of the High Inspection Commission at the checkpoint at the headquarters"
the headquarters of the unit knows about the arrival of this commission for a month, or even two, if this is a planned visit. this commission is not in a room with a telephone to communicate with the switch, but simply passes by. duty officer, or duty officer at the checkpoint must report to the duty officer on the arrival of the commission. although, in the construction battalion it may not be so

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: aglet

"with the presence of the High Inspection Commission at the checkpoint at the headquarters"
the arrival of this commission at the headquarters of the unit is known for a month, or even two, if this is a planned visit. this commission is not in the room with a telephone to communicate with the switchboard, but just passing by. duty officer, or duty officer at the checkpoint must report to the duty officer on the arrival of the commission. although, in the construction battalion it may not be so

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))
to the specially protected part of the Strategic Missile Forces like this, "they just drive past the checkpoint" ???????? )))))))
Yes, they had an order at the checkpoint to open for defeat from machine guns to such "passing by" - the checkpoint of the RVSN unit - this is not a passage yard for you !!!

[aglet]

"to the specially protected part of the Strategic Missile Forces like this"
you, in general, wrote about the construction battalion, in the part of the Strategic Forces Forces, they would not let you in for sure. and the commission goes where it needs to, including in the Strategic Missile Forces. and passes by the checkpoint, only the officer on duty breaks his chin, because he was already ordered by the operative to let him through and not to shine. and after that, deppochas exhaled and ran to the phone, to call the operative that they had arrived. if the commissions are needed, they will enter the missile silo and the launch and escort point, regardless of any security

[aglet]

"laughed again"
you're here pretending to be a jester, trying to make people laugh. and I'm not going to make you or anyone else laugh

[aglet]

"So many years have passed, you can't remember all the details - but the essence is conveyed correctly"
write less fairy tales, especially such unfunny ones. and, just in case, if it suddenly itches something else to write, the deputy chief of staff of the district will never, even NEVER, suddenly rush to any part in order to personally find out who and what told him on the phone. for this there are a lot of specially trained people who will report everything to him in 10 minutes

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: aglet

"So many years have passed, you can't remember all the details - but the essence is conveyed correctly"
write less fairy tales, especially such unfunny ones. and, just in case, if it suddenly itches something else to write, the deputy chief of staff of the district will never, even NEVER, suddenly rush to any part in order to personally find out who and what told him on the phone. for this there are a lot of specially trained people who will report everything to him in 10 minutes

You know, people are different)) And when you are on HF-communication!!!!!!!!!! some little kid scolds and tells how to behave properly ......... not everyone has the patience to wait for specially trained people to report to you there in as much as 10 minutes )))))))))))))))

[aglet]

"You know, people are different"
the deputy chief of staff of the district has a job description that determines how, where and when he can go. Permission to travel, including an unscheduled one, is given either by his immediate superior, in this case, the district headquarters, or, in the absence of this, by the district commander, by order. "not everyone has the patience to wait for what's there" is not the reason for the trip, but also the boss's permission for this trip. although, in the construction battalion they do not know about it. because there are no districts, nor their headquarters with commanders

[aglet]

"Particularly interesting was the case when, in the absence of her grandfather in his office, she picked up the HF telephone"
HF communication cannot be in any office. the equipment is located in a specially protected and guarded room - at the communication center. in the office of the chief of staff, or the commander of the unit - two telephones - a landline, if there is a city, and a telephone for communication with a communication center - through a switch

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: aglet

"Particularly interesting was the case when, in the absence of her grandfather in his office, she picked up the HF telephone"
HF communication cannot be in any office. the equipment is located in a specially protected and guarded room - at the communication center. in the office of the chief of staff, or the commander of the unit - two telephones - a landline, if there is a city, and a telephone for communication with a communication center - through a switch

I cut this one, a phone with a communication center from a secure room))) only the communication center was right at the headquarters, part was especially protected

[steelmaker]

"where the major served, there could not be KAMAZ starters, from the word" completely ""
It was a long time ago and not true. Now, the new owners, we have, in order, all the warehouses were cleaned, to zero. Even wrenches were thrown into scrap metal. Like, you prepared them for theft. Not even regular light bulbs. Burnt out, tell your boss. He writes out money, you buy and screw it. And before that, you work without light, like. And so in everything and everywhere.
In our youth, we were taught by the saying: "The stock is not a horse, it does not ask for food." Now the ignoramuses rule. Their education is bought, and to know the sayings, it's fantastic.
""330 to each""
Now the authorities are worried that the people do not live richly. The pensioner will take the last. And you say "everyone". HA! The bartender and waiter get more than skilled workers. The instrumentation master is still working for us, and he is in his eighth decade. And we are worried that if he leaves, there will be a "kirdyk" in general.

[Bingo]

Quote: steel maker

Now, the new owners, we have, in order, all the warehouses were cleaned, to zero.

When this happens in the army, it's not so surprising. Well, rolling a square is a lot of fun. I was most struck by the same idiocy in private offices, well, by God, there it seems that the "checkers" are simply financially interested in the work of the same warehouse as normal ... Avothren.
PiSi: by the way, which is typical, idiocy with all sorts of "mustache must be according to the standard - and that's it!" - absolutely not Russian / Soviet specifics. It was in a foreign office that I encountered impenetrable dolbolobism - "according to the European standard, a twisted pair cable is 10 meters vertically maximum" - and even though you are stubborn that the current is not a water column, it flows horizontally or vertically on the drum) I understand why the hell is such a standard - the lobby of manufacturers equipment, but the head on the shoulders should be?

[Shiva83483]

Godidze ... next, what happened next?

[Virus-free crown]

And yes, if suddenly Comrade Major from my Tale suddenly reads VO (well, you never know what happens on NG) - you write to me in a personal, I will cover such a clearing for you that your then 50 liters of pure medical alcohol in exchange for one "very a rare elestric findiklyushka" will seem like just a drop in the ocean))) I am still immensely grateful to YOU ​​that you saved me at least 5 times from certain death.

I'm just as much of a "victim" as you are. When, on the wedding anniversary, my second mother (in the literal sense of the word, I never called her “mother-in-law” in my life), she asked tete-a-tete how I survived with her daughter, I still gave her the secret of family happiness:

- Mom, it's simple: when a hurricane comes, you need to dig much deeper - and then eliminate the consequences.

So I live for a quarter of a century, dig and liquidate, because in the case of Major from a fairy tale, in the case of me, there was literally a screen adaptation of a joke:

The wife instructs her husband:
- Today our daughter will drag a young man to ask for her hand. you should
simply and with dignity shake his hand and say "YES". No need, as in
last time, fall on your knees, kiss his feet and shout: "Savior
you are ours!!!" And then he runs away again.

Py Sy, if suddenly something: the text of this comment I agreed with my wife (of course, she made her own editorial changes). Well, because, even if I'm a clown - but not a suicide.

[vovochkarzhevsky]

I didn’t understand something, now there is also a heading of fiction?

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: vovochkarzhevsky

I didn’t understand something, now there is also a heading of fiction?

Not quite so - a branch of the program "Visiting a Fairy Tale" for children over 50 years old
Another Tale from other Authors here:

https://topwar.ru/207885-skazki-starogo-maugli-akela-nikogda-ne-ver-shakalu.html

[aglet]

"Another Tale from other Authors here:"
Are you writing under a pseudonym? the same nonsense

[vovochkarzhevsky]

Ah, then it's understandable. Writing is a good thing, I myself sometimes sin these things. The main thing is that nothing in the style of Zagortsev is posted here.

[Maxim G]

Quote: vovochkarzhevsky

Ah, then it's understandable. Writing is a good thing, I myself sometimes sin these things. The main thing is that nothing in the style of Zagortsev is posted here.

Stories about the difficulty of repairing UAZs, Pobeds, Volga, ZILs by the hands of army specialists, on the one hand, surprise, on the other hand, they lead to not very good thoughts ..

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: Maxim G

Quote: vovochkarzhevsky

Ah, then it's understandable. Writing is a good thing, I myself sometimes sin these things. The main thing is that nothing in the style of Zagortsev is posted here.

stories about difficulty of repair UAZ, Pobed, Volg, ZILov by the hands of army specialists, on the one hand, surprise, on the other hand, they lead to not very good thoughts ..

Well, how to put it mildly ... if you come to the warehouse on an order, and everything is there, and the storekeeper gives out everything without a sound - this is one alignment ... and when you enter the warehouse - and the storekeeper (oh! miracle !) and is ready to give you everything, and in the warehouse there is only a mouse hanging from hopelessness - here is another calico))))))))))))))

[aglet]

"Something I did not understand, now there is also a heading of fiction?"
hurry, artistic whistle

[vovochkarzhevsky]

So it's like, without an artistic whistle, nothing can be invented. The army, in itself, is a powerful generator of ideas.
If you start composing without violating at least elementary logic, then as reading becomes popular, you will invariably get a really invented plot in the comments - oh, yes, this is ours!

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: Crown without virus

For those who are from the joke "I'm not a reader, I'm a writer" I remind you that this is a Good New Year's Tale!
And I’ll ask you to treat the Author as a mime with a net for catching butterflies second from the left (or right, well, how to look ) from this clip:




Happy New Year everyone!!!

[depressant]

Dear Sergey, Happy New Year to you! )))
Thanks for the story!
And don't be offended by the critics. After all...
"The earth is round, the colonel learned -
and led the regiment to level it "(c)
Write ischo! )))

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: depressant

Dear Sergey, Happy New Year to you! )))
Thanks for the story!
And don't be offended by the critics. After all...
"The earth is round, the colonel learned -
and led the regiment to level it "(c)
Write ischo! )))

Thanks for the kind words!!!
I'm philosophical about criticism.
They have already proved to me that in Russian folk tales there is no hut on chicken legs, and a broom and a mortar are not a means of transportation through the air for Baba Yaga))))))))))))
In the following parts of the tale, I already foresee that the fire-breathing three-headed snake is a natural mutant))))))))) and I’m even wondering what my staff critics will say about Koschey the Immortal

To my personal critics -
I never thought that it was so nice when you don’t sleep at night for the sake of my advertising: “Everything that is not an obituary in a newspaper is an advertisement” (c) Mark Twain

[vovochkarzhevsky]

And you shouldn't say so. You can, of course, rest against it - I'm an artist, as I see it - but still it's better to adhere to some certainty even in fiction.
For example here:

Unintentional sabotage

Just remembered. Names have been changed.

Summer, heat and scheduled flights. In the plywood barracks of the medical unit, the pilots are undergoing a pre-flight inspection.
For the first time, the young nurse Lenochka was entrusted to measure the pressure of the pilots.
Ah, Lena, Lena, Lenochka... The girl is very beautiful, with an appetizing figure and, most importantly, the owner of a bust of the third size.
In short, I go into the medical unit, and four of my comrades are sitting under the therapy room now and then mysteriously giggling.
- What happened? - I ask.
Yes, the pressure is high.
“Well, it happens,” I answer.
“Now you will too.”
I just grunted at such self-confidence, but my pressure was within the limits even from drinking and pushed the door to the office.
- Allow me?
- Yes, yes, come in, - Lenochka answers.
Her voice sounds somewhat sad and confused, but I do not attach any importance to this. I sit down on a chair, put my hand on the table, as usual, palm up, and Lenochka, leaning forward a little, begins to cling to the cuff of the tonometer.
Tonometers then were exclusively mercury, they need skill. Because Lenochka is completely absorbed in the process. She buttoned the cuff and, without changing her position, began to pump the pear. And it started to dawn on me what the real issue was.
But the fact was that in a fit of zeal, Lenochka did not notice how one of her delightful bulges was right in my palm. And through a thin, more than once washed hebeshka, I clearly feel that under the dressing gown there is not only clothes, which is understandable, it’s hot, but also the upper part of the linen.
Of course, I was not a preoccupied young man then, but still incomplete twenty-eight. Thoughts immediately swam after the eyes to the side, or rather down, trying to find out if there was also the lower part of that same linen. According to the folds of that dressing gown, it turned out that the desired part, or not at all, or almost symbolic.
Well, in general, from the very first measurement, the mercury column rose much higher than my standard one hundred and twenty.
Lenochka frowns her forehead, funny wrinkling her nose at the same time, lets air out of her cuff and begins to repeat the process.
And I begin to disassemble laughter and the desire to play pranks. I lightly squeeze Lenochkino's dignity in my palms. With admiration I note its breathtaking elasticity. But Lenochka does not even notice this, but what about, my second result noticeably exceeded the previous one.
During the third attempt, it swung open and an impressive figure of the chief medical officer appeared on the threshold.
- Dmitry Vasilyevich, - Lenochka pleaded, - Already the fifth has blood pressure and pulse above normal. What shall we do, remove?
Dmitry Vasilyevich instantly appreciated the disposition, however, experience, against which medical alcohol is powerless.
- What to do, what to do ... Bra, stupid, go put it on! And then the whole regiment will take me out of formation.

despite the fact that it is based on a real case, I took one liberties, replaced the increased heart rate with pressure, well, then it seemed to me that it would be better to read. So they still drink.

[Virus-free crown]

- What to do, what to do ... Bra, stupid, go put it on! And then the whole regiment will take me out of formation.

What's wrong with the nurse? ))) In our hot weather in the chip part, a queue of those who wanted to buy something, even not needed, and admire the size 4 breasts of a saleswoman under a dressing gown, but without a bra

[vovochkarzhevsky]

In general, the reason for the story was an incident that happened to me in a Voronezh hospital, where I arrived for a stationary VLK. Which issued me for a stay, and then began to torment me with the procedure for measuring pressure. And what difference does it make what she didn’t like, pulse, or pressure. I have identified the root cause. Especially since the nurse was... it was worth it just to see how everything went up.

[Brother Ibota]

lol funny funny laughing i can't
lol funny funny laughing i can't

[Iris]

My opinion is that a lot of things are really happening in the army and navy that different civilian shpaks cannot even dream of. There are so many such cases and there is such a variety of them that there is no need to lie - the amazing is nearby! Why am I negative about the above? Yes, because there are mostly absurdities and lies. Okay, fantasy. And that's why it's not interesting.

[Virus-free crown]

Quote: Kasatik

My opinion is that a lot of things are really happening in the army and navy that different civilian shpaks cannot even dream of. There are so many such cases and there is such a variety of them that there is no need to lie - the amazing is nearby! Why am I negative about the above? Yes, because there are mostly absurdities and lies. Okay, fantasy. And that's why it's not interesting.

Among the Chinese, one of the most terrible curses sounds like this: "what would you live in an era of change !!!"
I live twice already - then in the time of a fairy tale and now
yes, if a year ago he would have described to me what would happen all over the world in a year, I would have told him
but nevertheless ... the truth turned out to be how to say it - from the point of view of just a year ago - just ... eh ... let everyone think for himself )))))))))))

[Virus-free crown]

There will be no part 6 this weekend - sore throat, pancake ...