Military Review

"Now you're in the Army." "Bread and Circuses"

29
"Now you're in the Army." "Bread and Circuses"
Photo dontimes.ru




"Now you're in the Army." Part four of the New Year's fairy tale with a sequel.

Since we, the Avtobatovtsy, were also seconded to civilians, and to construction battalions, and to rocket men, we celebrated all sorts of official holidays on a grand scale. The list of official holidays, including the formation of a unit on the parade ground, the presentation of buns to especially distinguished ones, a festive dinner, a festive film screening, a festive amateur concert, and so on, was as follows:
• New Year
• February 23
• 8 March
• 1 May
• 9 May
• Day of Automobile Troops
• Day of construction troops
• Day of the Rocket Forces
• November 7

Unofficially, on a slightly smaller scale, they celebrated:

• birthday part
• birthday of the unit commander
• birthday of our SpetsSMU
• birthday of the head of our SpetsSMU

Underground celebrated everything else :)

A week before the official holidays, the “hodgepodge” of our amateur art unit was literally locked in the garrison assembly hall, freed from everything, and they spent the day and night there, preparing a festive concert. Even the most famous "pilots-raiders", for whom the lip of the district sobbed with bitter tears, and the disbat dreamily licked their lips, if they knew how to recite patriotic verses with an expression, sing a song, dance a lezginka, became "untouchable" for this time. Their choice was something like this:


If the concert went off with a bang and the High Inspection Commission put a solid five with a plus, they were forgiven for almost all of their flights. Until next flights and holidays.

... In our unit, almost all the soldiers were narrow specialists in their field of activity, and therefore, after a year of service, each was charged with the task of finding and educating a replacement for himself. Yes, according to the law, they could not be fired after 2 years of service. But after a couple of times the commander of the unit exemplarily dismissed several demobilized soldiers literally under the New Year's chimes and the boys found themselves outside the checkpoint, on the street at night, in a snowstorm and -35, the buses no longer run, and the station is 50 km away, - everyone tried to bring up a worthy replacement. After the Order, transfer all cases to him, perform a demobilization chord - and be free with a clear conscience.

Dembel chord usually took from 1 day to a month. I did it, they accepted it - the next morning you get a “runner” in your hands, you sign everywhere that you don’t owe anything to anyone, and by the evening you are already on the train that takes you home.

When choosing a candidate for shifts, first of all, you looked at the business qualities of your student, and if there was a choice, then at his nationality or place of residence. So, for example, when choosing from four candidates - three Tatars and one Jew, our AWP storekeeper, himself from Tatarstan, nevertheless preferred to take a Jew. Because managing a warehouse is not a big deal for you, you have to, so to speak, take a creative approach to the process.

But in general, "with an average temperature in the hospital", each of the areas of activity was kept by its own "grouping". The Belarusians and Ukrainians were in charge of the pig farm, the Uzbeks were densely seated in the kitchen, the raters and accountants were the Balts, Chechens and Dagestanis guarded part of the workstation, there was a food warehouse under the Georgians, and so on and so forth. Behind the Lezgins and Ossetians there was a club and all the amateur performances of the unit.

...After a year of your service and before his dismissal from the glorious ranks of the Army, your Chief passes you all the cases (and even his stash and caches), and you - bam! - become a Respected Member of the Society.

The first year, while you are a greenhorn, with your tongue hanging out like a stalker at a godfather, it seems to you that you have ended up in a branch of Hell on Earth. And here they are the first to respectfully greet you and look ingratiatingly into your eyes. This is, of course, a big plus.

But now you are already in a kneeling position standing on the carpet at the authorities, and you for any of your or your student's jamb - in all respiratory and respiratory. It’s already you in the winter in severe frost and snowstorm at night that they pull you out of a warm soldier’s bed and take you to who knows where, because something happened to the electrics there.

And then you remember with nostalgia your first year of service, like a vacation in a branch of Paradise on Earth :)

Just for an example. Here the major general arrived and gave the task: to urgently restore the electrics of the zilka loaded with fresh concrete, which ZIL-131 dragged on a rigid hitch to the workstation. And your teacher, in the pouring autumn rain, at +5 overboard, makes you run around the auto cemetery and try to find and remove a particularly rare elistrian findiklyuk, which is not even in the Chef's stash (I am silent about the warehouse - they were not even physically born there ... yes no, and according to the documents it has not been received).

You don't think it's fair. Well, think about it, major general... well, think about it, screaming, tearing up and mosques - and here you really swim in mud and fuel oil, and the wind and rain are whipping.

And when you yourself find yourself the Chief in an approximately similar situation, then it dawns on you that if your Student does not get this findiklyuk, then at best, a lip for 10 days, and at worst, a disbat for a year or two, and you, not the Student. Moreover, on the same lip, you will not cool off in a punishment cell for these 10 days, but you will sort out the electrics on all cars - from Zilka and KAMAZ to Zhiguli and Volga - and moreover, completely free of charge, that is, for nothing!

And then a swim in the mud up to the neck in fuel oil will seem like a summer vacation at sea, even taking into account the task: “This is how you suddenly find something electric on a car corpse that you haven’t seen in your eyes yet - take it off and drag it to me, that’s it !"

... The design of the club with all sorts of garlands and running lights at discos was up to the Author. And he had seen enough of what kind of hard labor the "artists" had. Ha, yes, compared to them at my job, I was lying on the stove and spitting at the ceiling!

After all, what is, for example, a disco on March 8? Only in our unit and at the AWP there were 20+ women and girls, and the same number of civilian civilians. They had to be entertained with dances, and not simple ones, but with the same waltz, for example. And half of the officers on the dance floor showed themselves a little more elegant than an elephant in a china shop. And there was always a woman in the High Inspecting Holiday Commission - and God forbid, she won’t dance!

Only one thing could be worse: not paying attention to our Saleswoman from the garrison chip, who liked to rock on the dance floor. They said that once such a big oversight happened. The next working day, our “branch of the Eliseevsky grocery store” turned into an ordinary provincial food store, where three-liter cans of tomato and birch juice were side by side with sprats in tomato and herring in their own juice.


True, this disgrace lasted only one day. The commander of the unit correctly understood "more than a transparent hint", the commander of the unit "punished the innocent, rewarded the uninvolved" - and more such jambs did not happen.


Of course, the spectacles were always accompanied by bread. Skewers with pilaf for the whole part was by default. And after the official celebration, the Georgians from the food warehouse set the table for a narrow, so to speak, circle, at the same time ensuring that the crystal decanters were filled with a festive “compote” of Georgian wines. After all, there is alcohol in the army?! No no! But “compote” is always welcome ☺️ And when the “client” matured and began to turn a blind eye to the suspiciously smelling “glass of water”, chacha was put on the table.

By morning, it was impossible to look at the boys from the amateur art platoon without tears, because the dances continued until you dropped in the truest sense of the word.


Then the carriers from the second company took the women home and handed them over to their relatives on receipt: “A female corpse, 1 piece. Accept and sign."

To be continued
Author:
29 comments
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  1. Virus-free crown
    7 January 2023 07: 57
    +11
    For those who are from the joke "I'm not a reader, I'm a writer" I remind you that this is a Good New Year's Tale! love
    And I’ll ask you to treat the Author as a mime with a net for catching butterflies second from the left (or right, well, how to look wassat ) from this clip:


    good

    Merry Christmas everyone !!! drinks
  2. north 2
    north 2 7 January 2023 08: 13
    +5
    As for the celebration of the New Year specifically, then it is now trying to artificially create and present its significance and personal-society universal connection and present it to everyone right under their noses. This is done so that people would not be nostalgic for Soviet times, for the USSR, when the New Year was a short but real common holiday to celebrate
    holiday of life. Because the Soviet government in the USSR just ensured a decent life. Such a life, the entire Brezhnev period, has become so familiar to people that they
    The New Year's Holiday in the subconscious was equated with gratitude to someone unknown for the past year. We were so carelessly naive and thought that the USSR and Soviet power would last forever. But the communists Gorbachev and Yeltsin also ate New Year's Olivier, washing it down with KvK ..., and we did not know their plans to interrupt our happy life.
    And now they artificially want to impose on us the happiness of celebrating the New Year. And this is no exception for the army either.
  3. Rinat Niyazov
    Rinat Niyazov 7 January 2023 08: 15
    +1
    Have a bite)
    The text, in the opinion of the administration, does not carry useful information, and it is not necessary)
  4. your vsr 66-67
    your vsr 66-67 7 January 2023 08: 29
    +8
    Yes, things have happened! 1968 Events in Czechoslovakia! And then the young driver of the oil tanker, handing back to the plane, catches the propeller of the plane with her barrel and bends it! State of emergency on an unprecedented scale! You need to change the engine completely! And to replace the engine was given 3 days. But what 3 days, if almost war! Although it is August outside, the weather is disgusting. Rain, wind walk around the airfield! The regiment commander builds a technical staff and sets the task: - The plane should be in service by morning! Do not involve mechanics, only technicians! Here we made fun of the young graduates of IVVTU! The rain is whipping with the wind, and they stuck around the engine on the stepladders and changed it all night by the light of the carriers!
    But to the credit of the young lieutenant technicians, by morning the plane was in service! Of course, seasoned techies and engineers were present there, but the whole burden fell on the shoulders of the graduates of the school, who had arrived shortly before to serve!
  5. Nikolay Malyugin
    Nikolay Malyugin 7 January 2023 08: 34
    +6
    The author is a plus on holiday. We also had all sorts of things at the outpost. True, all Soviet holidays we served for 12-14 hours. And only the New Year was the usual service. Many corresponded with correspondence students. One of us from Makiivka corresponded with a 69-year-old woman. She sent him seeds, cigarettes. sing songs. That's how three years flew by, like one moment.
  6. Region-25.rus
    Region-25.rus 7 January 2023 08: 55
    +1
    After all, there is alcohol in the army?! No no! But "compote" - you are always welcome
    we, on order (autumn 1993), also celebrated with juice. Apple-grape. So it was not noted (it was with "turnovers", although it was sold freely in three-liter jars), that the consequences had to be eliminated (for young people, for a block of cigarettes) in an emergency order in the morning. by the time the foreman arrived wassat laughing drinks
  7. tatarin1972
    tatarin1972 7 January 2023 09: 08
    +9
    What did I do in the service? I won't put my mind to it! In total, every morning I ran 3 km, under the "good" mood of the company commander 14 km. He ate cabbage, lard with bristles (polar bear meat), 6 moivins for six per tank. Worn on the hills with a grenade launcher, so that the soles and heels were worn down. Tactics, fire, drill, forced marches, charters, ZOMP, RB, physical, during breaks, so as not to relax outfits, guards and work teams. And here people served in a fairy tale!
    1. your vsr 66-67
      your vsr 66-67 7 January 2023 09: 16
      +3
      Quote: tatarin1972
      What did I do in the service? I won't put my mind to it! In total, every morning I ran 3 km, under the "good" mood of the company commander 14 km. He ate cabbage, lard with bristles (polar bear meat), 6 moivins for six per tank. Worn on the hills with a grenade launcher, so that the soles and heels were worn down. Tactics, fire, drill, forced marches, charters, ZOMP, RB, physical, during breaks, so as not to relax outfits, guards and work teams. And here people served in a fairy tale!


      And where did the hardship bring you? For example, I was exempted from all outfits and all sorts of cross-country crosses. Well, except for school, of course. Flight crew, you know. And reactive power. Even chocolate every day.. good
      1. tatarin1972
        tatarin1972 7 January 2023 10: 41
        +7
        61 Red Banner Kirkines Brigade of the Marine Corps, 876 Separate Airborne Assault Battalion, Murmansk Region, Sputnik settlement.
        ADD or WTA?
        1. your vsr 66-67
          your vsr 66-67 7 January 2023 13: 47
          +3
          Quote: tatarin1972
          61 Red Banner Kirkines Brigade of the Marine Corps, 876 Separate Airborne Assault Battalion, Murmansk Region, Sputnik settlement.
          ADD or WTA?

          VTA. As we said at that time: - RBP and KTA are for .... BTA. Nui decryption. RBP - radar bomber sight (stood at the navigator) and KTA - command and fuel unit (stood on engines)
          1. tatarin1972
            tatarin1972 7 January 2023 18: 16
            0
            VTA, if according to the reactive norm, then it means IL-76? A conscript in flight-lifting? Strange, there seems to be officers in the crew.
            1. Virus-free crown
              7 January 2023 19: 01
              +1
              Without even guessing what a VTA ^ is purely from our company, if our platoon commander was a private, why not? wassat drinks
              1. tatarin1972
                tatarin1972 7 January 2023 19: 55
                0
                VTA - Military Transport Aviation. Usually, it takes a long time to train crew members, earlier, with a three-year service life in the crews of the VTA, ADD and front-line aviation, there were conscripts in the crews, with a reduction in service life to two years, re-enlisted men and ensigns were put in these positions.
                1. your vsr 66-67
                  your vsr 66-67 8 January 2023 07: 49
                  0
                  Quote: tatarin1972
                  VTA - Military Transport Aviation. Usually, it takes a long time to train crew members, earlier, with a three-year service life in the crews of the VTA, ADD and front-line aviation, there were conscripts in the crews, with a reduction in service life to two years, re-enlisted men and ensigns were put in these positions.

                  Here they answered themselves. I then served 3 years, and was in training for 11 months. And we were in training not soldiers and not privates, but cadets. Addressed: comrade cadet!
            2. your vsr 66-67
              your vsr 66-67 7 January 2023 19: 26
              +1
              Quote: tatarin1972
              VTA, if according to the reactive norm, then it means IL-76? A conscript in flight-lifting? Strange, there seems to be officers in the crew.

              Nah .... AN 12. And it has turboprops, and the norm was reactive. About the conscript. In my time, there were two positions of conscripts in the crew of the AN 12. Flight operator and senior air gunner. Why senior? Who knows laughing . He was alone, but he called himself the elder! Il 76 we did not even see, although we heard about it. And only in the 70s, I don’t remember exactly, and the military was too lazy to look, but in the late 70s it’s for sure, they called for retraining at IL 76, and that’s where I met him. Yes, and even after retraining they were assigned an ensign ... laughing . And that's where my service ended!
              1. tatarin1972
                tatarin1972 7 January 2023 19: 46
                0
                I flew this side, "going out along the road." But there were officers and ensigns in the crews.
                1. your vsr 66-67
                  your vsr 66-67 8 January 2023 07: 47
                  0
                  Quote: tatarin1972
                  I flew this side, "going out along the road." But there were officers and ensigns in the crews.

                  And when was it? I mean, what years? I told you that after retraining, I also became an ensign. And during my emergency there was no such title! Or do you think this title has been in our army since tsarist times? laughing .
                  We also had a long-range regiment, Long-Range Aviation, TU 16, based at our airfield, they also had 2 conscripts in the crew, a radio gunner and a COU (commander of firing installations). We all studied in the same school, in Kansk, military unit 30185. They also trained gunners-radio operators on IL 28.
                  1. tatarin1972
                    tatarin1972 8 January 2023 13: 42
                    0
                    Years 90-92. I know about this from my friend's father, he served as a gunner-radio operator on the IL-28, participated in the Czechoslovak events. He is also a three year old. I just thought that you served later, but that's how it is.
                    1. your vsr 66-67
                      your vsr 66-67 9 January 2023 19: 29
                      0
                      Quote: tatarin1972
                      Years 90-92. I know about this from my friend's father, he served as a gunner-radio operator on the IL-28, participated in the Czechoslovak events. He is also a three year old. I just thought that you served later, but that's how it is.

                      We were not participants in the Czechoslovak events. It was far away - once, and for the entire Far East one regiment of the VTA is two. But all this time we lived and slept in airplanes! They brought all the bedding, and be kind.
                      But the next year, 1969, we got to the fullest! China was only 60 km from our airfield! Everything was. And readiness number 1, for 8 hours without leaving your seat on the plane and connected to the board of the APA, and daily shooting and cleaning of personal weapons, I had a TT. And half a year of life at the airfield in the barracks, hastily assembled for the crews and technical staff. And this is for everyone, without exception, from the shooter to the regimental commander.
                      Overall it was fun! And I also remembered it, it was imprinted in the brain, it was shortly before the demobilization, the KK laid down a roll of something around 70 °, with an allowed 30 °. The right pilot lost his voice from screaming, he was called up from the Civil Air Fleet. But such are the circumstances. On the ground, I also said to the commander: - Commander, there is absolutely nothing left for me to serve, and you lay such turns! We don't have a fighter! And he was an experienced commander, a 2nd class pilot, and he was already 38 years old. He reassured everyone, they say, with the proper speed, there is nothing to worry about.
                      I remember with love and gratitude all our crew at that time, and all aviation in general! She taught me a lot, and learned a lot myself!
    2. Virus-free crown
      7 January 2023 09: 20
      +2
      Quote: tatarin1972
      What did I do in the service? I won't put my mind to it! In total, every morning I ran 3 km, under the "good" mood of the company commander 14 km. He ate cabbage, lard with bristles (polar bear meat), 6 moivins for six per tank. Worn on the hills with a grenade launcher, so that the soles and heels were worn down. Tactics, fire, drill, forced marches, charters, ZOMP, RB, physical, during breaks, so as not to relax outfits, guards and work teams. And here people served in a fairy tale!

      This part of the story is Good и Festive tongue drinks
      And in the next one - "Aibolit in a hurry to help" - it will be told in colors how it is in winter. in a blizzard and frost, night, neck-deep in a swamp, change the starter at KAMAZ in 2 hours)))))))))))))))))))))
      1. tatarin1972
        tatarin1972 7 January 2023 10: 45
        +2
        This is just a saying, a fairy tale will be in front!
  8. aglet
    aglet 7 January 2023 10: 18
    +6
    yes, I never considered the construction battalion an army. they only discredited the uniform and rank of a warrior. why they were considered an army, because they were all, and they were in different ministries. including, and mo. I know for sure, I had to come across already in civilian life, that even the Ministry of Land Reclamation and Water Resources of the RSFSR had everything. their orders were wild, hazing, the mountain and steppe Nazis huddled into hordes by skin color, and held power in their chieftainships. I know firsthand that in our military town there was a battalion (or as their hordes were called) of a construction battalion. they tried to spread their rotten folk customs even to the troops. but after a demonstrative showdown in their habitats, when everyone was beaten indiscriminately, whether he was a soldier or an officer, it was all over. for them they broke through separate gates in the fence of the unit, and welded up those that led to the town. Yes, they themselves did not seek to go abroad after their studies. and now someone is trying to expose them as soldiers, and ennoble the image of a stupid, lazy and thieving organism, comparing it with a soldier
    1. tatarin1972
      tatarin1972 7 January 2023 12: 47
      +3
      This was already the misfortune of our state (USSR), it needed a large number of workers and in those places where rarely anyone would go, low wages, etc. My, now deceased friend, served in the troops of the State Security Service, in Komi, one might say in the construction battalion, they felled the forest. He retired in a parade with blue epaulettes and buttonholes of the GB, a blue band around his cap.
  9. Fangaro
    Fangaro 7 January 2023 12: 44
    +1
    I liked this part more than the previous one.
    Thank you!
  10. Virus-free crown
    7 January 2023 17: 33
    +3
    Moderators - Merry Christmas drinks
    The editors would not have missed this video in the article - so I post it here belay It's about the theme of disco in our part wassat laughing lol
    I warn you right away - before watching it is convenient to lie on the floor, the author watched this video from two takes, for the first time he fell under the table after the first minute of viewing feel
  11. Alex242
    Alex242 8 January 2023 03: 43
    0
    The first year, while you are a greenhorn, with your tongue hanging out like a stalker at a godfather, it seems to you that you have ended up in a branch of Hell on Earth.

    I think a lot of people have been through this...
    interesting story, keep it up...
    1. your vsr 66-67
      your vsr 66-67 10 January 2023 19: 33
      0
      Quote: Alex242
      The first year, while you are a greenhorn, with your tongue hanging out like a stalker at a godfather, it seems to you that you have ended up in a branch of Hell on Earth.

      I think a lot of people have been through this...
      interesting story, keep it up...

      I have always been surprised by people who spoke / wrote about hazing in the army! Why didn't my colleagues and I see her? Or did we serve somewhere on the moon?
      Brought to school. To all normal and even attitude! Yes, there were outfits, there were orders and so on, but no violence!!!
      After training on distribution, they arrived at the headquarters of the BTA division in Zavitinsk. They were divided into two regiments, one Guards in the Chita region, the second - Komsomol, in the same place in Zavitinsk. They came on foot from the division headquarters to the regiment, having passed the checkpoint, they got a little scared! Bearded men walk around the town, on their feet are sneakers, cotton pants, civilian shirts! Who are they? It turned out to be a demobilization, only their age is much older than ours! We are 20, some of them are 25, and some even more! Well, we think, kranty us! When at the headquarters we were assigned to squadrons, they came to their squadrons, and no one even paid attention to us! That's about how a huge dog does not pay attention to a mongrel, that's how it is to us! And for two years of service in the regiment, not a single case of hazing !!!
      ps About the demobilized men. Before our conscription in 1966, there were not enough guys for conscription (war), so they called everyone who had all sorts of delays, even those convicted were called up after serving time. And starting from the call of 1965-66, everything became normal.
      1. your1970
        your1970 14 January 2023 23: 40
        0
        Quote: your vsr 66-67
        When at headquarters we were assigned to squadrons, they came to their squadrons, and no one even paid attention to us

        Aviation specific...
  12. sso-xnumx
    sso-xnumx 9 January 2023 22: 19
    +1
    Here it is ringing, here it is ringing ..... And velmi is better, very, very badly !!!