Military Review

"Now you're in the Army." "Say a word for the poor driver..."

39
"Now you're in the Army." "Say a word for the poor driver..."



"Now you're in the Army." Part Three


To convey the atmosphere of that time, I will make a few verbose digressions - otherwise the New Year's fairy tale may seem to you unscientific fiction, which, as you know, is located floor above.

Upon admission to our unit and after taking the Oath, any fighter signed several pieces of paper: on employment, that he is now a materially responsible person, a standard subscription on non-disclosure of state secrets for 5 years (from the first company - for 10 years for non-disclosure Particularly Important State Secrets) - well, and another pile of all sorts of pieces of paper.

From the first company, the carriers also received a standard “all-terrain vehicle” pass, in which, among other things, it was written: “To the bearer of this piece of paper, provide all possible assistance and support with all available means and resources of the entire Empire. For failure to provide assistance to the poor driver - execution on the spot.

For example: an attempt by gays to slow down a “zilok” rushing at speed loaded with concrete, which, violating all conceivable and unthinkable traffic rules, rushed through Gorodok at a red light - this is at least a five in places not so remote for the failure to meet construction deadlines Particularly Important Object of Strategic Importance. Pyaterik - in the sense that gays. And if they also asked: “Where are we in such a hurry?...” - this is already a tag, for trying to find out where the new base point of the Strategic Missile Forces is located, which even the Americans did not film on their satellite images. Several articles at once: from high treason to espionage in favor of the worst enemy.

About three out of five flights, even the Head of the AWP should not have known, not to mention the Unit Commander. For they did not have the appropriate degree of clearance. If suddenly all sorts of emergencies arose along the way, then “The bearer of this piece of paper ...” not only had the right to slow down any car (and even the motorcade of the Governor himself) - but he was also directly obliged to do this so that he “... was provided with all possible assistance and the support of all available means and resources of the entire Empire ... ".

The command of the unit saw every fifth of its soldiers only a few times in 2 years of service, and then only in the form of impersonal personal files ... okay, embellished. Every fourth was a "dead soul", the documents for which were brought by couriers of the courier service in sealed envelopes. But. Resources for the part of the Empire allocated "according to the staffing table." As for the same zero paradoxes, for example, in my company it was like this:


But so that you don’t think that it was a “stupid cut of the dough”, worse than it is now: “dead souls” “served” on “tricks”, which, from the height of spy satellites, looked just like real basing points for “vigorous loaves” . Well, then, when we "discharged", it was all officially leaked to "respectable partners", and therefore I am not giving out any state secrets now. And when Bakatin officially handed over to the Americans the wiretapping scheme of the American embassy in Moscow, it was just “icing on the cake”:


If a fairy-tale country could be figuratively compared with a human body, then automobile troops could be imagined as red blood cells that delivered molecules through blood vessels (analogous to roads, paths and paths, of which there were 10%, the rest is “direction of movement”) oxygen from the lungs from the brain to the nail on the little toe of the left foot. And not once, but constantly.

And things happen along the way. Therefore, once a week, all drivers were given coupons for a week ahead for three meals a day, which were accepted by all restaurants, canteens and eateries as full-fledged money. And coupons for visiting the public bath. Well, for gasoline - of course.

In that area fictitious by the Author, only according to official statistics (which, as you know, never lie), the ratio of men and women was 1: 3 ... Therefore, only the last loser, “strong family man” or a complete impotent did not have his own “ a safe haven" in which "it was possible to wait out any storm." Sometimes in the mornings on the parade ground on a divorce in part, in the first company there were more officers of the company than soldiers. Once there was a completely anecdotal incident when in the morning suddenly (without warning) an inspection commission arrived, and in the first company there was not a single FREE SOLDIER except for the company on duty and two orderlies !!! - and half of the second company pretended to be part of the first on the parade ground.

Oh, yes ... So that "life does not seem like honey", the carriers could easily and for two weeks in a row not get out of the cab for days. And at plus 35 overboard, and at minus 35 ... with an average daily run of 500-800 km.

To be continued ...
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  1. Li17
    Li17 4 January 2023 06: 34
    +12
    And then Ostap suffered! It's already you as a fisherman began to drive!
    1. antiaircrafter
      antiaircrafter 4 January 2023 09: 57
      +8
      Norm. Let him write. It’s beautiful not to lie - you can’t tell a story.
    2. Virus-free crown
      4 January 2023 21: 09
      -1
      Quote: lithium17
      And then Ostap suffered! It's already you as a fisherman began to drive!

      Как fisherman я I will drive in the following parts in the story, how we caught crucians and carps with the whole company laughing So, there are no crucian carp a meter long))) but what I personally brought somewhere 40 + - kg of fish is the holy truth))))))))
  2. Konnick
    Konnick 4 January 2023 06: 35
    +2
    Oh, yes ... So that "life does not seem like honey", the carriers could easily and for two weeks in a row not get out of the cab for days. And at plus 35 overboard, and at minus 35 ... with an average daily run of 500-800 km.

    Needless to say ... Royal troops. Military unit 20115
  3. parusnik
    parusnik 4 January 2023 08: 08
    +4
    "Say a word about the poor hussar, your husband won't let me stay"... smile
  4. Shiva83483
    Shiva83483 4 January 2023 10: 37
    +2
    Without fail, continuation to the studio ... the comrade beats smoothly, what is there
  5. vlad2000
    vlad2000 4 January 2023 14: 12
    +3
    if each secret concrete truck had a safe harbor in the form of MANKA LET ME BE HOLDED BY THE Thigh ..... then my dears about what secrets and fake vigorous loaves this carrier rubs everyone)))
    1. Virus-free crown
      4 January 2023 15: 56
      +1
      Quote: vlad2000
      if each secret concrete truck had a safe harbor in the form of MANKA LET ME BE HOLDED BY THE Thigh ..... then my dears about what secrets and fake vigorous loaves this carrier rubs everyone)))

      "It's elementary, Watson!" (c) Sherlock Holmes laughing
      Grab a calculator and count...
      To the nearest concrete plant (which is in the work order - let it be 50 km (usually 25-150)
      From the concrete plant to the destination where this concrete needs to be delivered - let it be 100 km (usually 100-200)
      Let there be only two walkers a day from the concrete plant to the point - 12-16 hours on the way - this is already 400 !!! km
      And when you reached the second trip, you were at a distance of 150 km from the unit. To return to the unit to sleep is at least 2-3 hours of time ... out of 8 per day, plus then you still have to get up an hour earlier to get back to the concrete plant.
      You have 2 exits - or find where to hide in an open field (well, if not in a swamp lol and sleep in the cockpit... Well, or
      HOLD ON THE SHOULDER.
      feel bully hi
      1. vlad2000
        vlad2000 4 January 2023 16: 11
        +3
        and now another calculator. each Manka giving a thigh to hold has three girlfriends. and the manka drove Schaub respected and was proud of him, sipping a glass and grabbing his thigh, she will meaningfully tell where how much and what she carries. she needs to show off to her girlfriends what secret boyfriend is driving into the garden on a concrete truck. Does your calculator support exponential progression?
        1. Virus-free crown
          4 January 2023 16: 25
          -1
          Quote: vlad2000
          and now another calculator. each Manka giving a thigh to hold has three girlfriends. and the manka drove Schaub respected and was proud of him, sipping a glass and grabbing his thigh, she will meaningfully tell where how much and what she carries. she needs to show off to her girlfriends what secret boyfriend is driving into the garden on a concrete truck. Does your calculator support exponential progression?

          ok) pick up the third calculator wassat
          Every 10th inhabitant of the town worked in our special service - and therefore, in the town, even every last dog knew what was actually hidden behind the sign of a civil organization bully
          but for the disclosure of specific routes - a tag at least, so for 2 years of service I haven’t even heard rumors who would exchange all the blessings of the world for a glass of vodka for a tag in a special regime zone in places not so remote hi

          It was once ... and twice - so that the "manka" would hand over her boyfriend, with a constant bubble and a golden fix of pure gold to her friends ?! belay yes, she would have strangled them like competitors, but she wouldn’t have passed )))))))))) because in that fictional area it was easier for a girl to get to know a dinosaur on the street than to find a boyfriend tongue
          1. The comment was deleted.
            1. Virus-free crown
              4 January 2023 18: 02
              0
              Thank you very much, I had fun from the bottom of my heart, literally from hysterical laughter I lay under the table for about five minutes laughing drinks Imagine a light picture:
              - Torrential autumn rain with snow, temperature around zero, at 8 in the morning hundreds of three trucks leave the AWP, every fourth of the all-terrain vehicle from a UAZ-tadpole to a four-axle Kamaz ... and three hundred boys on bikes rush after them))))) ))))))))))))))))) but only to the nearest reinforced concrete 50 km ... laughing lol love

              What can I say ... You served anywhere, but not in the autobattalion good
              1. vlad2000
                vlad2000 4 January 2023 21: 29
                -2
                you are distorting. just like in your entertaining fantastic stories. firstly, you yourself claimed that after leaving the arm, everyone spent the night at MANEK, LET'S HOLD BY THE Thigh. that is, why should you be guarded at the arm? or on the way of residence MANKI. Secondly, I don’t think that 400 cars left for 400 different addresses. Moreover, the story is about the province and not Moscow St. Petersburg where you can get lost in the stream. Thirdly, you are talking about concrete trucks and there are different four-axle trucks ... but this means the concrete shipment point is the same for everyone in a well-known place and the route of a dozen concrete trucks is most likely the same due to certain quality requirements for the road. Well, not to mention a dozen talkative MANEKS GIVING HOLD BY THE Thigh. so all your secrets of movement are secrets only for you. And to open them to any smart boy, just spit, not like a trained person. And yes. You are right. I did not serve in the autobat. I was lucky to serve in the special forces of the KGB Soviet. And I saw autobats only in Afghanistan. How the drivers there didn’t run with gold fixes and didn’t run around MANKI, but really worked hard and twisted the steering wheel under fire.
                1. Virus-free crown
                  4 January 2023 21: 38
                  0
                  and now you distort)))

                  clearly and clearly I wrote after all:

                  Oh, yes ... So that "life does not seem like honey", the carriers could easily and for two weeks in a row not get out of the cab for days. And at plus 35 overboard, and at minus 35 ... with an average daily run of 500-800 km.

                  okay, let's not argue over trifles! drinks It's still a Christmas story! bully light reading))))))))))
                  1. vlad2000
                    vlad2000 4 January 2023 23: 40
                    -1
                    listen .. why argue? you yourself admitted that this is a fairy tale. that’s enough. because your daily mileage of a concrete truck is 800 km, well, this is again for collective farmers. hang noodles to the peasants and not to people who served in the army. If you don’t shame yourself on good roads a day in a car for 1000 km per day, then this is basically normal. And you say that there are two flights on a loaded concrete truck on country roads or on regional category roads. ... well, well .. with loading and unloading, issuing invoices, checking at the checkpoint at the entrance to a strategic facility, refueling, and even to MANKA, HOLD BY THE Thigh)))) this is when on a loaded concrete truck the speed limit for conscripts is 60 km / h and in a column of two and more cars 40km / h?)))) well, well. tell tales further
                    1. Virus-free crown
                      5 January 2023 00: 06
                      +2
                      I understand everything))) I will answer in more detail in the following parts ... drinks
                      and so offhand ... well, at least 40 km / h yes for 12 hours a day - this is = 480 km of daily mileage tongue
                      1. vlad2000
                        vlad2000 5 January 2023 00: 49
                        0
                        your calculator is broken.)) you modestly forgot about the regime of work and rest of the driver of the Soviet army. and this is 8 hours and not 12. stupidly according to your 8 by 40, this is 320 km. with washing the pear, well, let’s get lucky for you for half an hour. Making overhead passes of control at the entrance to the exit to a strategic object for half an hour - an hour. Refueling the car and other possible bullshit unforeseen half an hour. Lunch for half an hour. This is minus 2-2.5 hours for movement. .alright. let it be 200 km. I mean that even without these calculations, I saw with my own eyes and talked with adult men (and not youths of 220 years old) who worked 250 hours a day on a concrete truck in the urban and suburban road structure on good asphalt roads. three days later they were not up to MANEK.
                      2. Virus-free crown
                        5 January 2023 01: 47
                        +1
                        let's not argue)) in the following parts I will sign in detail, xy from xy was self-financing in Fairytaleland drinks
                      3. vlad2000
                        vlad2000 5 January 2023 11: 24
                        -1
                        oh dear. what kind of self-financing in the Soviet army? maybe you were a civilian driver in a civilian convoy that had a contract for servicing the construction of objects of the Ministry of Defense? service in a military unit. and you turn out to be an ordinary covenant. from here you have overnight stays wherever you want and MANKI LET YOU HOLD BY THE Thigh and 12 hours without getting out of the wheel)))) but even so, knowledgeable people answered that in a couple of days you will not be up to MANKA with bulging drowsy eyes from such flights))
                2. Virus-free crown
                  4 January 2023 22: 00
                  +1
                  And yes - as an Expert - in the next part about our adored senior warrant officer (who was written off by injury to our unit, because without serving the Motherland he could not imagine his life and achieved that somewhere he would be useful to the Motherland) will be described as he argued with the commander of the unit (underground from everyone, no one knew about the dispute, it was all later carried out as a check of the combat readiness of the unit) in one person approached the checkpoint from the other side of the fence at night and in an hour tied up and immobilized everyone who was awake and vigilant in the unit - starting from the checkpoint and ending with the headquarters - and then called the Commander that he won the dispute, and no one even had time to blather) - will this be unscientific fiction ?! bully drinks
                  1. vlad2000
                    vlad2000 4 January 2023 23: 43
                    +1
                    Well, here I believe one hundred percent. If you were all like you in the unit (including officers), and this ensign from a normal combat unit who went to the caravan at least a couple of times, then it is plausible.
                    1. Virus-free crown
                      4 January 2023 23: 57
                      +1
                      drinks
                      Well, at least something in the New Year's Tale will look believable ... soldier
                  2. Ezekiel 25-17
                    Ezekiel 25-17 5 January 2023 09: 40
                    +1
                    In our separate battalion of communications between the NSH and the hysteria, Pinochet also loved you ... climbing over the fence in the park until bullets whistled over his head. After that, a deputy commander named Old Major came into his office and said: "... Stop suffering A.V. x .. th, it will be very unpleasant for me to inform your wife that she is a widow, and the soldier who shot him got a vacation" .
          2. Eule
            Eule 6 January 2023 10: 38
            0
            But in fact - at least one traffic cop was imprisoned?
            1. Virus-free crown
              6 January 2023 16: 06
              0
              Quote: eule
              But in fact - at least one traffic cop was imprisoned?

              They are fools, right? )))
              After the head of the local traffic police was demoted from colonel to lieutenant while maintaining his position - because his subordinates slowed down the driver from our unit "on a mission" - the gays did not see cars with black numbers point blank))))))) ))))
      2. tralflot1832
        tralflot1832 4 January 2023 16: 19
        +1
        In 1981, all the builders after technical schools and institutes were cleared in the GSVG. The guys then called the communication center, they told about the same thing in life. Pioneers, they are still those Pioneers. I'm talking about missiles. Write beautifully, continue. hi drinks
        1. Virus-free crown
          4 January 2023 16: 52
          +1
          Quote: tralflot1832
          In 1981, all the builders after technical schools and institutes were cleared in the GSVG. The guys then called the communication center, they told about the same thing in life. Pioneers, they are still those Pioneers. I'm talking about missiles. Write beautifully, continue. hi drinks

          Ours to you with a brush drinks hi
          The first two parts of the New Year's Tale are here:

          https://topwar.ru/207665-teper-ty-v-armii-chast-pervaja.html
          https://topwar.ru/207824-bez-schej-i-kashi-pustynny-zheludki-nashi.html

          The fourth is in the stage "after assembling the product, it is necessary to modify it with a file" (c) anecdote laughing coming soon
          1. tralflot1832
            tralflot1832 4 January 2023 17: 11
            +1
            I have already read two, I liked it. Not only your memories, but also comments. It’s a pity, the memory has erased the memories (we went to the sea together) as it was served on the FJL (Franz Josef Land). But the narrator was noble.
  6. Alexander Toroshchin
    Alexander Toroshchin 4 January 2023 16: 25
    0
    So the cars were there; larger belaz, one wheel. But there were no others at all, but why, when it was so healthy.
  7. Virus-free crown
    4 January 2023 20: 10
    +1
    Quote: tralflot1832
    I have already read two, I liked it. Not only your memories, but also comments. It's a pity,memory erased memories (together we went to the sea)how it was served at FJI(Franz Josef Land). But the narrator was a noble one.

    drinks
    but I remember how my friend told me how he served as a sailor-cook for 3 years on one of the islands around the same place at about the same time - and so, compared to his stories, I have "the truth, only the truth and nothing other than the truth" wassat laughing well, if I hadn’t seen his demobilization album (in particular, when there is one bw photo of him feeding a polar bear from his hands) - I wouldn’t believe him one iota in the tale))))))))))) )))))))
  8. Fangaro
    Fangaro 4 January 2023 20: 52
    +1
    Quote: vlad2000
    and now another calculator. each Manka giving a thigh to hold has three girlfriends. and the manka drove Schaub respected and was proud of him, sipping a glass and grabbing his thigh, she will meaningfully tell where how much and what she carries. she needs to show off to her girlfriends what secret boyfriend is driving into the garden on a concrete truck. Does your calculator support exponential progression?


    So, on forums, on the Internet, they leak knowledge in exchange for Internet confessions ... Like the 2000th Vlad.
    1. vlad2000
      vlad2000 4 January 2023 21: 16
      -1
      you have a strange reaction. what does it mean to merge knowledge? if black is black and everyone knows it, and they tell you that it is white and this is a terrible secret ....... then to say out loud that everyone already knows is no information leak .
  9. smershxnumx
    smershxnumx 4 January 2023 21: 38
    +1
    Quote: antiaircrafter
    Norm. Let him write. It’s beautiful not to lie - you can’t tell a story.

    Eeeeee ... Well, xs ... He combs some kind of scales .... He served as a driver at the district headquarters at the head of the type of type of troops ... Only the VAI could slow me down, but only until the pass was shown ...
    .... What fuel coupons??? Arrived, full tanks filled and drove on ...
    Some nonsense...
    1. Virus-free crown
      4 January 2023 22: 37
      +1
      Eeeee ... but you can ask, where could you fill full tanks of fuel for beautiful eyes? feel

      Me only VAI could slow down, but only until the pass is shown...

      I confirm !!! good drinks
  10. Akuzenka
    Akuzenka 4 January 2023 23: 17
    0
    500-800 km per day. Hm. Yes, the next day, the driver will just sleep and stay in a somnambulistic state. It is checked up repeatedly and on the skin.
    1. Virus-free crown
      5 January 2023 00: 14
      0
      Well, here it is again ... what kind of fashion is it to run ahead of a steam locomotive? In the following parts of the New Year's Tale I will tell you more drinks
    2. vlad2000
      vlad2000 5 January 2023 01: 33
      -5
      a person simply hovers in his fantasies))) why should he say something real. he is one of those who dreamed of taking two hundred thousand riot police and the National Guard in three days to take 40 million countries. he is a dreamer.
  11. arnulla
    arnulla 5 January 2023 23: 43
    +1
    The average daily mileage on a concrete truck is 500-800?))
    How many days can be sustained with such a schedule?
    Country roads?
    Well, well ... Tales from the crypt
  12. Fangaro
    Fangaro 7 January 2023 01: 12
    +4
    Author! Readers!
    It's good to snap at Christmas!
    The author writes in an interesting way. Although personally I stopped believing.
    Readers write well too. But it is not necessary for the author to bring it to clean water at all.
    It was a long time ago. The author definitely served. Something may have embellished.
    So I served in training with the future cosmonaut. Only Omsk did not fly into space. Although he was healthy and quickly moved somewhere from school.
    We all have a peaceful sky; fertile land; prolific livestock of beef, pork and lamb; full nets of sturgeon, bream, tuna, saury, pollock; mycelium per hectare; bushes with currants, raspberries, gooseberries, a couple of dozen ...
    And neighbors with whom you only have to fight in dominoes and chess.
    1. Virus-free crown
      7 January 2023 05: 43
      +4
      Merry Christmas! drinks
      Thank you very much for the kind words! good