Military Review

"Now you're in the Army." "Without cabbage soup and porridge - our stomachs are empty"

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"Now you're in the Army." "Without cabbage soup and porridge - our stomachs are empty"



"Now you're in the Army." Part II


The newest история our part began 2 years before the Tale ... When one "Kolobok" for the "principle" and "backbone" shown by him:


... with a demotion in rank - from colonel to lieutenant colonel, with a demotion - from unit commander to deputy for logistics, they were sent into exile "To the village, to the wilderness, Saratov" from the ZabVO. In order to avoid ... and in order to stay away from sin ...

And it was here that Kolobok (an underground nickname, a universal favorite of the unit, would be our will - they would wear it in our arms absolutely voluntarily) unfolded in its entire breadth of a wide “Russian soul” (well, just think, his mother’s parents are an Armenian father, his mother is Jewish... his father has a Russian father, his mother is Ukrainian... most importantly, according to his passport... uh... an officer's military card - he was listed as Russian). As they say, he was in his place.

Our unit through the eyes of a newly arrived recruit:

- Christmas trees, Christmas trees... strict rows of luxurious Christmas trees... It was easier to get lost in them than to spit. Unless the VVs with specially trained German Shepherds could find you ... Well, or the Headquarters Loudspeaker: “Comrade private / sergeant / captain Ivanov / Petrov / Sidorov !!! If in a minute you don’t appear before the clear gaze of the authorities ... “I’ll tear my mouth, I’ll gouge my blinkers!” (c) and for the rest of your life you will only work on medicines! ”...

- roads, paths and parade ground covered with ASPHALT!!! Without a single crack!!!

- all buildings - barracks, headquarters, dining room, assembly hall - aka cinema - are freshly painted, washed and licked almost with the tongue.

- and God forbid you throw a cigarette butt or a candy wrapper past the urn - it’s easier to immediately run to the workstation and hang yourself there on an iron cable without soap, because the urns were, if not at every step, but every literally 10-15 meters for sure.

- in the dining room there was no separation in the preparation of food for officers and soldiers ... every working day for lunch (for example) real pilaf with pork meat (and it was still necessary to see what was more in pilaf - meat or rice). And on Saturdays and Sundays, a real barbecue was served for lunch.

- each fighter was given 2 uniforms - one everyday, the second for work ... this is in part ... and at the AWP they also gave out working black overalls.

- from Saturday afternoon until Sunday evening, if you are not a “pilot-raider”, you have served for more than six months, and there is a desire and financial opportunities (well, go to the cinema, buy ice cream, ride a carousel ...), you can easily was to get a leave of absence... "Soldiers from the unit - it is easier for commanders."

- every Sunday afternoon they played two films - the first one is usually super-duper popular or an action movie, or a comedy, and the second ... well, so-so ... if there is nothing to do, then you can watch.

- in the garrison chip there was practically a branch of Greece, in which, as you know, "there is everything" - there would only be money ... and this at a time when the Motherland began to gradually switch to coupons for almost everything.

- well, and another 100500 different ones, which, according to the stories of my older relatives who served, could not be in their units, because it could never be!

At that fabulous time, in that fabulous country, non-combatant troops were transferred to Khozraschet ... The Tsar-Sovereign gave the commander of the “automatic” parts - well, there, rust-covered cans of stew, cereals, crackers, tea, sugar, salt and, of course, a canister of bromine - and ordered the zampotyl: “Spin as you like, but so that the military fighters are fed and watered according to the Charter” ... And on average they sent a High Commission with a check once a quarter.

In our unit, the bomb shelter "in case of a nuclear war" (and - in the literal sense) was turned into a food warehouse ... Potatoes, carrots, beets, onions, garlic and a dozen other types of pears with apples (both fresh and soaked) were interspersed with barrels of sauerkraut. Now, if a “nuclear winter” really happened, our part would have lived at least a year without denying themselves anything ... in a bomb shelter. It was a plus...but there was also a minus. I would have had to live this year standing up, because smoked pork hams were also hanging everywhere - there was free space with a gulkin's nose.

Before our conscription, there was only a pig farm in the unit, somewhere like that for 100 +/- pigs. Served 5 pigs-soldiers. They had a lot of work ... it was not only necessary to feed them: remove the feces, but also score, and skin, and cut the barbecue, and smoke ... in general, "the smoke stood there like a rocker" ... and the corresponding ambre. Of their own free will, only "a rare bird flew to the middle of the pig farm." And so everyone tried to bypass it for a kilometer, including the High Inspection Commissions.

Our unit commander honestly kicked with all his hands, feet, teeth and claws from 8 conscripts from such a high-altitude Azerbaijani village that these conscripts saw the ZIL-130 for the first time in their lives, when the raid on the conscripts reached them, and the boys were loaded into a car and lowered from mountains (literally) ... But! Once “the party said“ We must !!! ”, the commander answered“ Yes ... 2 weeks after arrival at the unit, our Oath Day was determined, and all recruits were forcibly forced to write a letter to their loved ones with an invitation to this celebration. The letters were sealed in envelopes with stamps - to speed up delivery, 7 days to anywhere in the vast Motherland (5 kopecks per envelope) - instead of 14 days if the envelope is unstamped from a military man (1 kopecks per piece in our chip).

The day of the oath passed solemnly, all the newly minted fighters with their parents were treated to dinner (simply chic, the cooks outdid themselves), and each was issued a leave of absence until Monday morning - under the personal responsibility of relatives that on Monday morning they will deliver the “carcasses” of the soldiers on time, in any state, even if in a state of "full and drunk at the piano."

After the oath and before the festive dinner, there was about an hour of free time, and so that the relatives would not just wander around (or you never know where they would stick their curious noses), two parallel excursions were organized. "Spectacles" was taken over by the political officer of the unit - he led from Lenin's rooms in the companies to the assembly hall, which is also a cinema. "Bread" showed zampotyl: from the bomb shelter, turned by his efforts into the "bins of the Motherland", to the pigsty (however, the pigsty showed from a distance from 300 meters, so as not to spoil the appetite before dinner). One of the "tourists" turned out to be the father of one of the 8 conscripts from Azerbaijan. The chairman of the “millionaire collective farm” and the winner of all sorts of government awards there for constant victories in socialist competitions (if at the time of the raid he had not wandered around the district on business, figs his son would have repaid his debt to the Motherland) ... In general, as they say , “the fisherman saw the fisherman from afar”, and literally on his knee, a patronage agreement was immediately concluded over our unit from his collective farm ... In 2 weeks, a pen for sheep was built in an open field behind our unit, a house was built for the caretaker of the flock with everyone communications, and then the first trial batch of young lambs arrived, about 25 heads of commercials. Well, as a bonus, something like half a ton of cheese and cheese ... The only thing is that the chairman of the chef's collective farm insisted that a specialist who knows this business look after the sheep. There was suddenly no other candidate for this position, except for his son ... So in our canteen in the festive menu for all sorts of holidays for the whole unit (well, for the High Inspection Commissions) three new items appeared - shurpa, pilaf and shish kebab from lamb.

When on Monday morning after the oath, all 100 percent of the rookies arrived at the location of the unit after the dismissal ... Some on their own two, some with a "carcass" relatives delivered. The authorities exhaled and ordered none of us to be touched until dinner. And before dinner, we were all gathered on the parade ground, and the commander of the unit made a short speech ... About thirty minutes of commercials. Brief excerpt from the speech:

"Now you're in the Army..."

Продолжение следует ...
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38 comments
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  1. Retvizan 8
    Retvizan 8 2 January 2023 06: 23
    +7
    What a fantastic story by the Strugatsky brothers?
    After reading it, I got the impression that the person who wrote this is well informed about the army, but did not serve in it.
    yes
    1. Virus-free crown
      2 January 2023 06: 46
      +11
      Quote: Retvizan 8
      What a fantastic story by the Strugatsky brothers?
      After reading it, I got the impression that the person who wrote this is well informed about the army, but did not serve in it.
      yes

      Happy New Year! drinks
      Stock up on calming ones, because the following parts of the New Year's Tale can definitely shock you bully Here so far,,, for the younger group of the nursery it is described)))))))))))))))))
    2. Virus-free crown
      2 January 2023 07: 11
      +14
      Quote: Retvizan 8
      What a fantastic story by the Strugatsky brothers?
      After reading it, I got the impression that the person who wrote this is well informed about the army, but did not serve .
      yes

      And the country was fabulous then, and times ... wassat Now, if someone would then say to me before sending "to give my civic duty to the Motherland" that after leaving the garage gate in the Strategic Missile Forces unit !!!!!!!!! clean smoke, I'll run into a crowd of American multi-star generals - I'd do the same fool
      1. dmi.pris1
        dmi.pris1 2 January 2023 14: 28
        +1
        Yes, and I’ll fix it .. Not a bomb shelter, but just a shelter ... A military instructor has pecked us for this since school .. And so, yes, a chic part, you won’t say anything.
        1. Virus-free crown
          2 January 2023 16: 48
          +7
          Quote from: dmi.pris1
          Yes, and I'll fix it .. Not a bomb shelter, but just-shelter... The military instructor has pecked us for this since school.

          drinks
          In our school, by the way, it was also just-shelter - it’s a shooting range, shot from toz-8 and toz-12 somewhere like that 1000 ++ shots, 3 youth category in shooting feel
          But it was precisely in the very part that it was bombothe shelter, according to the guests and snips, had to withstand a high-altitude nuclear explosion above itself))))))))))))))))
    3. aglet
      aglet 2 January 2023 13: 23
      -3
      "well informed about the army, but did not serve in it"
      One word - dismissal says a lot. I, for service in the army, have never been to leave. and in firing quite often, and always had leave note
      1. Virus-free crown
        2 January 2023 13: 58
        +7
        Quote: aglet
        "well informed about the army, but did not serve in it"
        One word - dismissal says a lot. I, for service in the army, have never been to leave. and in firing quite often, and always had leave note

        To a personal censor - our physical education with a brush drinks
        The first of the first part:
        PS

        The author asks him not to criticize too much for his style of presentation. In the presence of a silver medal in high school, I confess honestly: 4 in the Russian language and literature was "for a big pull." And so - a solid 3 plus. Well, techie author, techie... to the bone.

        I was on leave 1 time in the army - when I was dismissed from its glorious ranks soldier
        And in the leave-of-flight - several dozen times, I don’t remember exactly what it was to count them, leave-offs, bully
  2. Vladimir80
    Vladimir80 2 January 2023 07: 16
    -2
    but I still don’t understand the fairy tale - is it about the times of the USSR or with a hint of today? Or "doesn't matter"?
    1. Asad
      Asad 2 January 2023 07: 41
      +9
      I think that this is the very beginning of perestroika, My friend served in a similar part of the construction battalion, not so rosy, but described about the same. Everything depended on the leader.
    2. Virus-free crown
      2 January 2023 07: 45
      +4
      it's about the times and without hints))) but is there a difference - it's not for me to judge))) I'm FSE, retired a long time ago hi
      1. Catfish
        Catfish 2 January 2023 08: 04
        +8
        Happy New Year! smile

        I served from the 66th to the 69th, in a separate tank regiment, but then it was a different time and a different army. Although colleague Nikolai is right, everything depended on the unit commander. What yesterday, what today. soldier
        1. stankow
          stankow 2 January 2023 22: 36
          +4
          Everything from the commander. Dad's unit was also in order. And also a subsidiary farm, how could it be without it!?
    3. Rasp
      Rasp 2 January 2023 20: 32
      -5
      Apparently you don’t smoke what the author smokes, so you don’t catch up.
  3. bandabas
    bandabas 2 January 2023 08: 03
    +5
    A fairy tale is a fairy tale, but ... If a normal commander (and such commanders still exist, despite the "body movements" of defective menegars and "pseudo-generals"), something in some parts happens in reality. It all depends on the person. Excluding, of course, asphalt, kebabs, "ridges" and other "joys of life." bully ! Happy New Year 2023 everyone!!! drinks
    1. Virus-free crown
      2 January 2023 14: 02
      0
      Quote: bandabas
      A fairy tale is a fairy tale, but ... If a normal commander (and such commanders still exist, despite the "body movements" of defective menegars and "pseudo-generals"), something in some parts happens in reality. It all depends on the person. Excluding, of course, asphalt, kebabs, "ridges" and other "joys of life." bully ! Happy New Year 2023 everyone!!! drinks

      drinks
      In the following parts of the tale, it will be convincingly shown that for us it was not the "joys of life", but the "severe reality" laughing lol
      1. bandabas
        bandabas 2 January 2023 14: 27
        +2
        I do not argue. Miracles have always happened. I know from personal experience. Good luck in the service and citizenship! drinks
  4. Konnick
    Konnick 2 January 2023 08: 53
    +7
    As for my unit, where I went through the training camp after the military department, only there was no sheepfold, and the Uzbeks worked at the pigsty, breeding lean breed of pigs, well, as they brought out, they simply tortured me with physical training in order to turn fat into meat. True, it was Soviet times and for dinner they gave fried cod with mashed potatoes. Some cadets even put on a couple of kilos per month of training. This unit still exists, there was a training automobile regiment, it became a training brigade.
    1. Virus-free crown
      2 January 2023 16: 54
      +3
      Quote: Konnick
      As for my unit, where I went through the training camp after the military department, only there was no sheepfold, and the Uzbeks worked at the pigsty, breeding lean breed of pigs, well, as they brought out, they simply tortured me with physical training in order to turn fat into meat. True, it was Soviet times and for dinner they gave fried cod with mashed potatoes. Some cadets even put on a couple of kilos per month of training. This unit still exists, there was a training automobile regiment, it became a training brigade.

      During the first year, when I was a rookie, and they chased me "both in the tail and in the mane", I lost 10 kg ... but in the second year of service, when I myself drove others, I recovered by 15 kg))) )))))))) I got lazy, old age is not a joy bully
  5. Shiva83483
    Shiva83483 2 January 2023 09: 21
    +4
    Vesch ... I liked it ... write another author
  6. alexey alexeyev_2
    alexey alexeyev_2 2 January 2023 13: 41
    -5
    I would have cut out Khazanov's eggs without anesthesia.
  7. Virus-free crown
    2 January 2023 17: 09
    +1
    And yes ... just in case, suddenly someone has not read ... the first part is here: https://topwar.ru/207665-teper-ty-v-armii-chast-pervaja.html
  8. sso-xnumx
    sso-xnumx 2 January 2023 17: 52
    -1
    Well, just like in that joke about Tuzik: "Here it rings, here it rings ....."
    1. Virus-free crown
      2 January 2023 20: 17
      0
      Quote: sso-250659
      Well, just like in that joke about Tuzik: "Here it rings, here it rings ....."

      I am also glad that my New Year's Tale "came" to you! drinks
      Продолжение следует ...
      1. novel66
        novel66 2 January 2023 22: 13
        +2
        Shikardos, we are waiting, sir, impatiently
        Ttttttttttt
    2. Starover_Z
      Starover_Z 2 January 2023 22: 43
      +3
      Quote: sso-250659
      Well, just like in that joke about Tuzik: "Here it rings, here it rings ....."

      But it's interesting! Exactly based on the Strugatskys, only "A Tale for Young Pre-Conscripts of Preschool and School Ages" laughing good
      And as for food, I myself have been to similar units, business trips with the ORiR. For example - a part was in the tundra, communication with the mainland by aviation. So in the summer season, cartridges for target practice were used to hunt oleshek, and fish were caught. So a good commander was respected.
  9. Skif
    Skif 3 January 2023 18: 51
    +1
    Well, it's a very beautiful story. Just like Christmas. And kind.
  10. vlad2000
    vlad2000 4 January 2023 14: 43
    -1
    sheer nonsense. firstly, the officers never had an officer’s military ID)))) secondly, no one in the regiment commander was demoted to the position of deputy commander (only officers who graduated from rear services schools were appointed to rear positions) in the third, the dismissal of conscripts according to the charter was not allowed more than 30% of the company at the same time. Fourthly, what kind of nonsense where pork carcasses and meat products were stored together with potatoes, cabbage and carrots (for this, the heads of warehouses were removed from their posts), I don’t say where the author saw rusty cans with carcass? fifthly, what kind of nonsense is it about cooking unit officers and conscripts in the same boiler? in general, there are different allowances for different categories of military personnel. in general, if you just laugh, then it’s quite a story.
    1. Virus-free crown
      4 January 2023 18: 46
      +1
      drinks
      details in other parts)) and the author asks to forgive him for his Russian, I don’t remember exactly what the “officer’s military ID” was called - but he replaced their passport with them - then the officers received a passport only upon dismissal for their demobilization))
    2. Virus-free crown
      4 January 2023 18: 50
      +1
      about rusty cans of carcasses - I saw it with my own eyes)))
      yes, fish, vegetables and meat were stored separately _ I don’t argue) the bullshit is just that in our bomb shelter there were several compartments isolated from each other))))))))) the destruction of any could not affect others, there were 1000 people calculated
      1. vlad2000
        vlad2000 4 January 2023 21: 10
        -1
        yes, you write ordinary nonsense. what kind of military unit did you have? announce the name. some kind of framed construction battalion from civilians? the mere fact that you had officers and soldiers prepared the same thing speaks of the complete invention of what you are describing here.
        1. Virus-free crown
          5 January 2023 15: 03
          +1
          I’ll correct it - a cropped autobat with civilians seconded to special forces))) in the fourth part it is written in more detail, on moderation
        2. Virus-free crown
          5 January 2023 15: 32
          0
          Well, as for the common table - yes, right now, find any decent sanatorium mo and ask if there is a difference in food for a soldier with civilians to major generals? just check it out today :))))))))))))))))
        3. Dali
          Dali 6 January 2023 16: 50
          +1
          Quote: vlad2000
          Yes, you write ordinary nonsense. What kind of military unit did you have?

          Duc afftoru laughing I had to immediately write that I served in the construction battalion ... then a lot would become clear !!! In addition, even the construction battalions were different ...
          And for the combatant Army, these events are naturally a fairy tale ... laughing
          1. Virus-free crown
            6 January 2023 17: 33
            0
            drinks
            Have you definitely started reading all parts of the fairy tale starting from the first one? feel wink
  11. Lomaster
    Lomaster 4 January 2023 17: 53
    +1
    It was a long time ago... The oath. But as I remember now, I got drunk first in the dining room, then from the gifts brought by the relatives of the conscripts. I couldn't stand, I couldn't breathe. ) Because in training I was constantly tormented by the feeling of hunger. And here is such a feast)
    How many years have passed, July 1989, but I remember that heartburn and heaviness in the intestines like now)
  12. Lomaster
    Lomaster 4 January 2023 17: 54
    +1
    Quote: Lomaster
    It was a long time ago... The oath. But as I remember now, I got drunk first in the dining room, then from the gifts brought by the relatives of the conscripts. I couldn't stand, I couldn't breathe. ) Because in training I was constantly tormented by the feeling of hunger. And here is such a feast)
    How many years have passed, July 1987, but I remember that heartburn and heaviness in the intestines like now)
    1. Lomaster
      Lomaster 4 January 2023 17: 55
      +1
      Corrected the year. From 89 to 87) Mistake came out)
  13. Virus-free crown
    4 January 2023 18: 42
    +1
    https://topwar.ru/207992-teper-ty-v-armii-za-bednogo-shofera-zamolvite-slovo.html

    the third part is out feel