Results of the week. "How are people to the greedy good of others"
Part I. “Clarity is one form of full fog”
Ministry of Defense: “I remember here, I don’t remember here ...”
How in the main military department "forgot" about court decisions
The fact that the Ministry of Defense in Russia is a separate power, which can often be called "non-executive", many guessed. And therefore the information about the next fortification of the Ministry of Defense, which came from the Public Chamber of Russia, was perceived as the work of the Ministry “according to plan”.
The chairman of the RF Security Committee of the Russian Federation on Security, Alexander Kanshin, and his colleagues decided to make a request about how the Ministry of Defense executes court decisions in terms of issuing apartments to servicemen. It turned out that the Ministry of Defense often spits from a high bell tower on a court decision on the provision of a living space to a soldier. Many court decisions taken in favor of the military, were simply ignored by the Department of Housing of the Ministry.
Well, in fact: the court is the third power, and the Ministry of Defense is the power of enny, and the decisions of the representatives of the authorities of one are not always perceived by the representatives of the authorities of the other. Apparently, Mr. Serdyukov and his subordinates from the housing supply, thought something like this: once the court made a decision, let the court give the apartment to the military and issue - such a ministerial initiative. And that decisions in the country made to execute, Anatoly Eduardovich, apparently, did not report in time. That is why there was a defense-judicial incident, which became known through the activities of the Public Chamber.
As a result, everything ended up with the court warning the head of the Department of housing for the Ministry of Defense Galina Semin about the need to execute court decisions, and also about the fact that if the court decisions will not be carried out further, then there is such a thing as “personal criminal liability”. But where ours did not disappear, they obviously thought to the Ministry of Defense and, as usual, promised to understand everything in exceptional detail in the hope that it would take a month or two, and this incident would be forgotten. Oblivion is the main principle of our defense department.
The allocation of money for modernization from the State Budget is remembered, but they have forgotten about the issue of apartments, established front companies, and the breakdown of the State Defense Order. Some kind of suspicious amnesia is obtained.
Do not chew, do not smell, do not smoke!
Bad habit outlawed
Aha So you got 40 of millions of Russian smokers. Now the government will take care of your health and the health of those you smoke with your cigarettes! You do not want? What more? And who will ask? Are in developed democracies, on the way which we have been walking all lately, it is customary to ask the opinion of citizens? No sooner said than done: it is forbidden to smoke, chew and even sniff tobacco.
After the Russian Ministry of Health suddenly found out for itself that a total ban on smoking by 16% reduces the number of heart attacks and by 24% reduces the number of respiratory diseases, this gave reason to send a bill on a total ban on smoking in public places to the State Duma . And our State Duma is such an organ, which, even in the majority, is distinguished by a special love for tobacco with a shag, but once said “sverkhu”, you will have to vote with your hands and feet. Well, it’s, roughly, as with the transfer-untranslated hands of the clock: at first, everyone almost unanimously supported, then unanimously they wanted to cancel; as with the police, the police: first, an absolute majority spoke out for painting the first two letters, then a wave of awareness swept through the absolute majority ...
And now just try to get your cigarette out of the pack somewhere in the station toilet, train closet, underground passage or, God forbid, on the beach or in the hotel corridor - the penalty will be such that you can no longer have a heart attack from tobacco smoke, and from one verbal announcement of this figure.
No, gentlemen, smokers! The government is not at all afraid of losing your votes. Forty million more, forty million less - perhaps this figure can somehow affect the attitude towards the initiators of the law ... After all, there is concern.
Oh yes! It must also be said that hard times are coming for directors and screenwriters. Now the authors themselves will have to prohibit smoking to the heroes of the works so that it does not promote the craving for tobacco smoke among the audience and readers. We don’t decide what to do with the “old smokers” on the screen, but you can be sure - they will decide ... Stirlitz pulling out a mint candy from his pocket, Sherlock Holmes and Comrade Stalin releasing soap bubbles from their pipes pleasing children ... Yes ... Comrade Stalin I would not be very pleased with the law ...
In general, the law is, of course, necessary, but painfully similar to the next embodiment of the policy of excesses. It was possible, in principle, to equate smoking to drug addiction, and for this business to plant far and for a long time, but only, strangely, from the fact that drug addiction is banned, neither the number of drug addicts in our country, nor the volumes of import of narcotic drugs into Russia are suspicious way does not decrease. Why did it happen?..
Who will monitor the implementation of this law? Perhaps, the sergeant of the renamed militia smoking two packs a day? Or maybe they will decide to create “Non-smoking squads” who will monitor smokers and report this to smoking prosecutors? In general, we are plagued by vague doubts that the law is very similar to the Gorbachev decision to cut down vineyards, which clearly healed the nation ...
Hochma about Russia from the Balts
Real Balt: I did not remember Russia with a swear word - I lost the day
Our Baltic "partners" are cunning at the invention. This week Estonian and Latvian “creatives” have distinguished themselves.
In Estonia, on one of the local channels, a humorous program “Only possible in Russia” appeared, which is composed of stories about “stupid” Russians. During the transfer of her leading does not cease to wonder how these "terrible" Russian people behave. The viewer is offered plots about how Russian paratroopers bathe in the fountains, how drunken passers-by meet in the streets of Russia, how the races on VAZ cars are organized. In general, the transfer in Estonia is of interest. It’s amazing how the bears, wandering around the Russian streets, were embraced with drunk citizens, who had a balalaika on duty behind their backs, and an unfinished bottle of muddy moonshine stuck out of their pants pockets.
Well ... Of course, we are very glad that in Estonia the whole programs are devoted to Russia, but we only offer Estonian authors to be completely honest with themselves and their audience and diversify the program with stories about how much Russia sent to this sprat quasi-republic Soviet rubles for the construction of schools, hospitals, factories, houses. That would have been a laugh if they knew that almost all of the modern Estonian industry was built during Soviet times with the money of those who worked in Mother Russia.
In addition, the program should include a story about the presence of Russian citizens and citizens of foreign countries in Russia, but in Estonia there is also an additional layer of disenfranchised non-citizens who no longer seem to have, but at the same time there is. Too bad, gentlemen from Estonia ... It would be necessary to tell you that in Russia it is not customary to make fun of prisoners of fascist concentration camps, publishing their images during promotions, and in Estonia as usual ... In general, you will need stories, Russia will help you!
They supported the eternal Russophobic trend and citizens of colonial-sovereign Latvia. Here the Minister of Justice, Mr. Bordans, said the other day that it was time to resume the work of the commission, which would accurately calculate the amount of damage caused during the years of Russia's “occupation” of Latvian territory. As they say, hello - come! .. And this one there too.
Apparently, Mr. Bordans also forgot that in the times of the USSR he studied, was treated and was engaged in nonsense on "occupying" money. He ate XKNUMX occupant ice cream kopecks, played in the "occupying" soldiers and generally enjoyed life. And today, you see, this middle-aged gentleman suddenly decided to count how much he owed to those who allowed little and insensible Janis to break out, sorry, from riches to riches. Well: consider, Janis, consider ... Just be kind enough to provide us with a response opportunity to calculate how many billions of Soviet rubles were invested in the economy of the territory in which you have an incredible happiness to live, how many taxes the Ural worker and Kuban peasant paid for , so that you, Janis, and others like you live and do not deny themselves anything. What do you think, whose score will be more? ..
Glass vs. plastic
"Rosalkogolregulirovanie" gives the story for the Estonian program from the previous topic
While the State Duma, as it should be, is thinking about the adoption of laws, in particular, about the adoption of a law creating problems for Russian smokers, no less exciting ideas are being discussed in other government corridors. In particular, during the week it became known that a department like “Rosalkogolregulirovanie” decided to abandon the initiative to ban the sale of beer in plastic containers.
UV-ff - breathed out those Russians who are not accustomed to wearing heavy glass containers with a foamy product in bags, and those who are skilled in carrying 1,5-, 2- and more than one liter plastic bottles with cherished life-giving moisture from the nearest kiosk. Well, in fact, what was it that Rosalkogolregulirovanie itself thought about earlier, when it hatched the idea of banning plastic containers when distributing beer! Apparently, people there didn’t have any idea that as soon as plastic beer bottles were banned, we would immediately increase the level of injuries. Surely these officials are not aware that after a couple of bottles of cold water among Russians, first begin to have intimate conversations, then disputes, and then, sorry, it’s not far to a massacre. Feels offended man in his hand a glass bottle - and what are his next steps? Right! Try using it to prove to your opponent that he is wrong. What's next? Right again! Ambulance, extra nerves, expenses, bandages and a solution of brilliant green.
And if at hand only a plastic "and a half"? Yes, then argue at least until blue in the face, and you no traumatic. It will certainly be more difficult to prove one’s point of view than with glassware in hand, but how the art of rhetoric will develop among our brother!
Apparently, at the last moment, the specialists from Rosalkogolregulirovaniye, after conducting relevant experiments on themselves, decided to cancel the requirements for the sale of beer in plastic. As the saying goes: "And experience, the son of difficult mistakes, and genius, paradoxes of each ..."
Dear Georgian President
Ivanishvili counted how expensive Georgians are to keep Saakashvili
This week continued exotic political relations between the current Georgian President Mr. Saakashvili and the newly-minted Prime Minister Bidzina Ivanishvili. The head of government, having counted how much the president cost the ordinary Georgians, was literally horrified and suggested that Mikhail Nikolozovich be modest. Modesty, according to Ivanishvili, should be expressed in that the President of Georgia immediately moved from the posh presidential palace (Avlabari) to the building of the State Chancellery, in which Ivanishvili himself works, and also holds meetings of the Government of Georgia and the National Security Council.
Mikhail Nikolozovich was offended by the proposal of Bidzina Grigorievich: either because he went up to the 11-th floor of the State Chancellery (it was there that the office of the former President of Georgia, Eduard Shevardnadze, was located), or because the proximity of the Prime Minister would be the president. As a result, through the mouth of his press secretary (Mrs. Mnadzhgaladze), Saakashvili replied: they say, you have no right! Hands off my presidential palace, which in the West, by the way, managed to christen the palace of Caligula.
And you can understand Mikhail Nikolozovich: why change the palace, in which only the bulletproof dome created by the Italian architect de Lucca at the behest of Saakashvili himself, costs more than 650 thousand dollars, for some small closet almost under the roof of a building built for the hated Georgian president Central Committee of the Communist Party of Georgia.
Ivanishvili did not retreat: he said that Georgia’s taxpayers spend about half a million dollars a month on the president’s plane alone (the president, for the most part, flies overseas) and saves electricity in his palace for a slightly lower amount. Apparently, now the Georgian president will have to turn off the light in the toilet and the "hallway" of his palace, so that the counter does not wind so quickly, and you will have to be more careful with the flights on your special plane. But if it does not refuse, the new leader of Georgia will turn on a completely different counter.
And this, after all, Ivanishvili has not yet considered how much the president of Borzhom drinks for a day ...
So now, if you, friends, suddenly find yourself in Georgia and see a large building with a glass dome, in the windows of which the electric light never burns, and in the evenings the dim light of a lonely candle is shaking, then you should know that Mikhail Nikolozovich works in new conditions for himself Saakashvili. If you raise your eyes to the Georgian sky and see a man in a helmet and a red tie in the biplane U-2 gondola, then Ivanishvili managed to transplant the Georgian president to a cheaper aircraft maintenance aircraft ...
Part II. “We'll drink, make psychophysical contact ...”
Forgetful hillary
Double standards - in life!
Hillary Clinton, the US Secretary of State, recently visited Croatia, where explained (using favorite hegemonic verbs) that the United States, solving the Syrian issue, will not wait, but crush. “Do not wait,” the verb with the negative particle “not” is addressed to Russia, China and fellow peacemaker L. Brahimi, but “pushing”, without a particle, is for the “regime” of Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad.
In order to “crush” sounded in full force, Mrs. Clinton noted that efforts to create anti-Assad pressure would be massive: “Our efforts, as well as the efforts of our partners in the EU and the Arab League, are aimed at putting pressure on the regime by strengthening and tightening the sanctions, meeting the humanitarian needs of displaced Syrian citizens, and providing assistance to countries in which they seek asylum. ” At the same time, the United States and its partners, added Clinton, intend to help the Syrian opposition "unite around a common effective strategy that can counter the violence of the regime and begin to make a political transition."
So that there was someone to entrust the implementation of an “effective strategy” and that there was someone “to carry out a political transition”, the State Department proposed a fairly straightforward method: to form a “governing structure of the opposition”. The frail émigré Syrian National Council did not justify the hopes of the American diplomacy in charge of other countries, and therefore they decided to remove its representatives from the political road.
On November 1, Washington publicly expressed disappointment with the SNA and reported on the efforts that America is about to undertake to update the leadership of the Syrian opposition. These efforts will be undertaken as early as next week, in the Qatari capital Doha.
“We believe that it is necessary to urgently form the governing structure of the opposition,” said State Department spokesman Patrick Wentrell, confirming what was previously said to his boss.
Speaking of sadness on the face of the SNS, a man from the State Department noted that this group, consisting of foreign opponents of Bashar al-Assad, “failed to expand its leadership” by the opposition movement. The United States and other countries of the “Group of Friends of Syria” believe that the SNS may continue to participate in opposition activities, but at the Doha meeting new candidates will be represented for the leadership of the Syrian opposition. Mr. Ventrell refrained from mentioning specific names, stating only that it is mainly about people "who can do not only organizational, but also practical work."
So, in Washington everything was decided. Most likely, the candidates received approval in the White House. It now remains to promote them to the future government “in a democratic way,” that is, with the approval of the “friends,” who apparently understand better what the long-suffering people of Syria need. Better than the people themselves.
What distinguishes such an approach from dictatorship, probably, only Hillary knows.
Mr. Ventrell failed to conceal that in Doha, in essence, it is planned to create a transitional government, which over time should come to power in Syria. Gosdepovski official said: "After the fall of the Assad regime will require structures that will be able to provide governance and the provision of services to the population."
Strange as it may sound for the State Department, but until now Bashar Assad effectively provided services to the population: his army kicked out and knocked out militants and mercenaries from the cities and villages of Syria. The protege of the United States seems to provide services to Washington, and not to the people of Syria.
Everyone, including Washington officials, is well aware that the policy of “forming governing structures” means nothing other than creating governments loyal to America or controlled by America. It cannot be said that during the “Arab spring” Washington brilliantly achieved this goal, but it can be noted with confidence that he did not retreat from it. The hegemon's dictatorial manners are incurable. In the same way as the double standards that have long been second-kind to American top-level government managers are also ineradicable.
In mid-October, Hillary Clinton said: “We recognize that the transition to democracy in the Middle East is not a business of the USA ...” And she didn’t say anywhere in a private conversation in a tavern on Capitol Hill after two or three cocktails, but at a meeting at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington
This is how intricately thinking in the capital of the world! On the one hand, we urgently form the governing structure of the opposition, on the other - this is not an American matter.
And whose is it, I'm sorry, is it? Maybe Qatar? Do not tell the world community, Mrs and Misters from the State Department!
Flying drunkard
American traditions in Okinawa
It is difficult to serve far from home. All hard - and Russian, and Europeans, and Africans, and Australians. But all somehow bear, and only one Americans do not maintain. Some people, according to rumors, believe that the valiant star-striped warriors have a special psyche: they don’t tolerate foreign lands in large portions. There is, however, another opinion: being under the flag of another, and even with a pistol in his pants, a grenade at his belt and a number on his neck, so to speak, with some regalia and powers, the brave Yankees begin to consider themselves representatives of a higher nation. True, this assessment of them somehow differs from the assessment given by the lower aborigines - for example, the Japanese from Okinawa.
November 2 Young American Military Pilot sat in a bar and succumbed. Already in the morning, pumping up to the clouding of mind, 24-year-old Mr. went up to the third floor of the hotel and for some reason burst into the room located above the bar. The pilot dragged the 13-year-old boy into the room, hit him, then broke the TV and ... jumped out of the window.
Perhaps, under the influence of the magical vapors of whiskey, this Mr. decided that he was on the plane, and the chassis was removed, and the tanks were full of fuel, but the reality was firmly objected to the alcoholic. With broken bones and bruised internal organs of the failing flyer, they were taken to a hospital at a military base.
The Japanese failed to appreciate the succession of outstanding actions of a flying drunk. Instead of mass worship of American Icarus and entering it in the annals stories and mythology on this extraordinary man dashed a complaint through the Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
"Icarus" only continued the well-known deboshirskuyu tradition in Okinawa. In mid-October, two American marines who raped a girl, were arrested by the police. This incident also happened in the morning - and the marines, like the pilot, pumped alcohol all night.
Earlier, in August, in Okinawa was taken into custody a US Marine sergeant for attacking a local woman. In the 2006 year, an employee of the US Air Force base was imprisoned on charges of double rape for 9 years. And in 1995, three American soldiers kidnapped and raped a 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirl.
Peaceful guys from Uganda
New approaches to military security
On Wednesday this week it became known about the new American way to overcome the crisis in the security military business. True, about how to save on the guards, along with the press learned and the US Department of Justice.
It turns out that last year against a private company engaged in defense contracts, filed a lawsuit former employee of this company Omar Badr. The company is called "Triple Canopy", and it is registered in Reston (Virginia, USA). Now the Ministry of Justice of a free democratic country has joined this lawsuit, wherescammers all open to all possibilities.
Outraged, Comrade Badr wrote in his complaint that “Triple Canopy” represented fake test results of its employees and that its so-called security guards were employees of extremely low qualifications.
In June, the Joint Command in Iraq and Afghanistan (JCC-I / A), which deals with contracting issues, signed a one-year 2009 million-dollar contract with Triple Canopy. The company was supposed to provide security for Al-Assad, the second largest air base in Iraq.
Now federal officials from US justice claim that Triple Canopy purposely hired foreigners as security guards - those who were not able to pass the qualification test required by the contract. Fighters from Uganda, numbering several hundred, as commented to the court by Comrade Badr, who are provided as a “Triple Canopy” guard contingent, didn’t really know how to use firearms weapon. The guards hired to protect the base couldn’t accurately or safely shoot AK-47 or other weapons. Simply put, in which case these guys will start firing from AK or American assault rifles in all directions.
It is curious that, according to the American authorities, the managers of Triple Canopy not only falsified the test results of their “security guards” - in order to get a lucrative Iraqi contract - but continued to bill the government even after the top managers at the company’s headquarters warned of wrongdoing.
Moreover, the complaint by comrade Badr claims that Triple Canopy used fakes about the qualifications of its personnel, trying to convince JCC-I to prolong the contract on the Al-Asad airbase for a second year!
"For a government contractor ... this is unthinkable ... especially in wartime," says Stuart Deliri, Acting Assistant Attorney General for Civil Affairs of the Ministry of Justice.
The attitude of the American administration to Triple Canopy has changed, probably only because checks of US missions abroad have begun, involving the attack of terrorists on the consulate in Benghazi. That is, if it were not for the murder of the ambassador and three more people, American objects abroad would continue to be guarded by people who cannot shoot.
The company "Triple Canopy" is famous for something else. In 2011, just when Omar Badr condemned her, she won Pentagon’s 159 millionth security contract in Afghanistan. Although the authorities of this particular country accused Triple Canopy of abuse (in the Washington Post, are called "Unspecified serious crimes"). Finally, the company turned out to be one of the finalists for the best state contractor held by official Washington.
If this company was considered one of the best, then what are the worst?
Welcome to Zombieland!
Zombies and terrorists have a lot in common.
Exercises at the counter-terrorism summit in San Diego (California), which began on the eve of Halloween and ended on November 1, were planned for September. 44 acres of areas on the island were prepared, and Brad Barker, president of the security corporation HALO and one of the organizers of the exercises, saidthat in order to be able to wage an effective battle, servicemen must train on the “threat” that teaches “to respond to everything”. And honestly warned that they say, this time "will be very scary." He was nodded to Michael Hayden, the former director of the CIA.
The president of the company did not lie.
Paradise Point Resort has been invaded by ... zombies. The hordes of the living dead tried to devour everything living in their path, but the brave "fur seals" in alliance with other military personnel and policemen total 1000 people, led by government and local officials, repelled the two-day attack. In order to hit the approaching zombie or to clear the “walking” territory, the soldiers fired at room temperature in the forehead, trying to hit the brain.
In order to make the teachings as realistic as possible, was imitated "Federal incident". On all the forty-four acres of Paradise Point Resort, Hollywood scenery was unfolded — right down to the whole rural settlement typical of these places, and even a “pirate bay”. On the make-up of money, too, did not regret. Who said that there is a crisis in America?
The exercise scenario was modeled for a very long time in collaboration with the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), whose administration last year announced to the citizens of the country that they should be ready for invasion of carnivorous creatures.
Mr. Barker 31 of October confirmed: “Without a doubt, when the“ zombie apocalypse ”begins, it will have the scale of a federal incident ...”
In his opinion, shows and television films could help both the American public and troops in the fight against zombies. This would be useful to people: after all, unexpected catastrophic events, including natural disasters and terrorist acts, are surrounded by uncertainty.
Brad Barker says: “No one knows what the zombies will do in each case, but, frankly, no one knows how the terrorists will behave ... Suppose the policeman saw the zombies and told him:“ Stop, raise your hands! ”What zombies will do back? Yes, he will just growl. Now imagine that you met a drug addict, a substance abuser, or some criminal. Well, how do you know how he will react to you? "
In the CDC, their campaign to counter the zombies and thus attract the attention of citizens explained small budget.
As part of the campaign, the agency recommended that Americans stock up on fresh water per gallon per person per day, long-term storage products, radios on batteries and blankets. The CDC decided: "Why not give people what they want?"
The Department of National Security has already joined this department, in September, it organized a webinar on training against the zombie apocalypse.
Returning to the teachings on the island, where entire settlements and city streets were built from improvised Hollywood materials, let us ask ourselves one small question. If Mr. Barker compares a drug addict or a terrorist in some sense with a zombie, doesn’t he propose to American society a radical way of getting rid of people of indefinite behavior?
After all, the only way to destroy a zombie - punch his head with a bullet.
* “What are the people before the greedy good of others” - a phrase from the cartoon “Three from Prostokvashino”
Ministry of Defense: “I remember here, I don’t remember here ...”
How in the main military department "forgot" about court decisions
The fact that the Ministry of Defense in Russia is a separate power, which can often be called "non-executive", many guessed. And therefore the information about the next fortification of the Ministry of Defense, which came from the Public Chamber of Russia, was perceived as the work of the Ministry “according to plan”.
The chairman of the RF Security Committee of the Russian Federation on Security, Alexander Kanshin, and his colleagues decided to make a request about how the Ministry of Defense executes court decisions in terms of issuing apartments to servicemen. It turned out that the Ministry of Defense often spits from a high bell tower on a court decision on the provision of a living space to a soldier. Many court decisions taken in favor of the military, were simply ignored by the Department of Housing of the Ministry.
Well, in fact: the court is the third power, and the Ministry of Defense is the power of enny, and the decisions of the representatives of the authorities of one are not always perceived by the representatives of the authorities of the other. Apparently, Mr. Serdyukov and his subordinates from the housing supply, thought something like this: once the court made a decision, let the court give the apartment to the military and issue - such a ministerial initiative. And that decisions in the country made to execute, Anatoly Eduardovich, apparently, did not report in time. That is why there was a defense-judicial incident, which became known through the activities of the Public Chamber.
As a result, everything ended up with the court warning the head of the Department of housing for the Ministry of Defense Galina Semin about the need to execute court decisions, and also about the fact that if the court decisions will not be carried out further, then there is such a thing as “personal criminal liability”. But where ours did not disappear, they obviously thought to the Ministry of Defense and, as usual, promised to understand everything in exceptional detail in the hope that it would take a month or two, and this incident would be forgotten. Oblivion is the main principle of our defense department.
The allocation of money for modernization from the State Budget is remembered, but they have forgotten about the issue of apartments, established front companies, and the breakdown of the State Defense Order. Some kind of suspicious amnesia is obtained.
Do not chew, do not smell, do not smoke!
Bad habit outlawed
Aha So you got 40 of millions of Russian smokers. Now the government will take care of your health and the health of those you smoke with your cigarettes! You do not want? What more? And who will ask? Are in developed democracies, on the way which we have been walking all lately, it is customary to ask the opinion of citizens? No sooner said than done: it is forbidden to smoke, chew and even sniff tobacco.
After the Russian Ministry of Health suddenly found out for itself that a total ban on smoking by 16% reduces the number of heart attacks and by 24% reduces the number of respiratory diseases, this gave reason to send a bill on a total ban on smoking in public places to the State Duma . And our State Duma is such an organ, which, even in the majority, is distinguished by a special love for tobacco with a shag, but once said “sverkhu”, you will have to vote with your hands and feet. Well, it’s, roughly, as with the transfer-untranslated hands of the clock: at first, everyone almost unanimously supported, then unanimously they wanted to cancel; as with the police, the police: first, an absolute majority spoke out for painting the first two letters, then a wave of awareness swept through the absolute majority ...
And now just try to get your cigarette out of the pack somewhere in the station toilet, train closet, underground passage or, God forbid, on the beach or in the hotel corridor - the penalty will be such that you can no longer have a heart attack from tobacco smoke, and from one verbal announcement of this figure.
No, gentlemen, smokers! The government is not at all afraid of losing your votes. Forty million more, forty million less - perhaps this figure can somehow affect the attitude towards the initiators of the law ... After all, there is concern.
Oh yes! It must also be said that hard times are coming for directors and screenwriters. Now the authors themselves will have to prohibit smoking to the heroes of the works so that it does not promote the craving for tobacco smoke among the audience and readers. We don’t decide what to do with the “old smokers” on the screen, but you can be sure - they will decide ... Stirlitz pulling out a mint candy from his pocket, Sherlock Holmes and Comrade Stalin releasing soap bubbles from their pipes pleasing children ... Yes ... Comrade Stalin I would not be very pleased with the law ...
In general, the law is, of course, necessary, but painfully similar to the next embodiment of the policy of excesses. It was possible, in principle, to equate smoking to drug addiction, and for this business to plant far and for a long time, but only, strangely, from the fact that drug addiction is banned, neither the number of drug addicts in our country, nor the volumes of import of narcotic drugs into Russia are suspicious way does not decrease. Why did it happen?..
Who will monitor the implementation of this law? Perhaps, the sergeant of the renamed militia smoking two packs a day? Or maybe they will decide to create “Non-smoking squads” who will monitor smokers and report this to smoking prosecutors? In general, we are plagued by vague doubts that the law is very similar to the Gorbachev decision to cut down vineyards, which clearly healed the nation ...
Hochma about Russia from the Balts
Real Balt: I did not remember Russia with a swear word - I lost the day
Our Baltic "partners" are cunning at the invention. This week Estonian and Latvian “creatives” have distinguished themselves.
In Estonia, on one of the local channels, a humorous program “Only possible in Russia” appeared, which is composed of stories about “stupid” Russians. During the transfer of her leading does not cease to wonder how these "terrible" Russian people behave. The viewer is offered plots about how Russian paratroopers bathe in the fountains, how drunken passers-by meet in the streets of Russia, how the races on VAZ cars are organized. In general, the transfer in Estonia is of interest. It’s amazing how the bears, wandering around the Russian streets, were embraced with drunk citizens, who had a balalaika on duty behind their backs, and an unfinished bottle of muddy moonshine stuck out of their pants pockets.
Well ... Of course, we are very glad that in Estonia the whole programs are devoted to Russia, but we only offer Estonian authors to be completely honest with themselves and their audience and diversify the program with stories about how much Russia sent to this sprat quasi-republic Soviet rubles for the construction of schools, hospitals, factories, houses. That would have been a laugh if they knew that almost all of the modern Estonian industry was built during Soviet times with the money of those who worked in Mother Russia.
In addition, the program should include a story about the presence of Russian citizens and citizens of foreign countries in Russia, but in Estonia there is also an additional layer of disenfranchised non-citizens who no longer seem to have, but at the same time there is. Too bad, gentlemen from Estonia ... It would be necessary to tell you that in Russia it is not customary to make fun of prisoners of fascist concentration camps, publishing their images during promotions, and in Estonia as usual ... In general, you will need stories, Russia will help you!
They supported the eternal Russophobic trend and citizens of colonial-sovereign Latvia. Here the Minister of Justice, Mr. Bordans, said the other day that it was time to resume the work of the commission, which would accurately calculate the amount of damage caused during the years of Russia's “occupation” of Latvian territory. As they say, hello - come! .. And this one there too.
Apparently, Mr. Bordans also forgot that in the times of the USSR he studied, was treated and was engaged in nonsense on "occupying" money. He ate XKNUMX occupant ice cream kopecks, played in the "occupying" soldiers and generally enjoyed life. And today, you see, this middle-aged gentleman suddenly decided to count how much he owed to those who allowed little and insensible Janis to break out, sorry, from riches to riches. Well: consider, Janis, consider ... Just be kind enough to provide us with a response opportunity to calculate how many billions of Soviet rubles were invested in the economy of the territory in which you have an incredible happiness to live, how many taxes the Ural worker and Kuban peasant paid for , so that you, Janis, and others like you live and do not deny themselves anything. What do you think, whose score will be more? ..
Glass vs. plastic
"Rosalkogolregulirovanie" gives the story for the Estonian program from the previous topic
While the State Duma, as it should be, is thinking about the adoption of laws, in particular, about the adoption of a law creating problems for Russian smokers, no less exciting ideas are being discussed in other government corridors. In particular, during the week it became known that a department like “Rosalkogolregulirovanie” decided to abandon the initiative to ban the sale of beer in plastic containers.
UV-ff - breathed out those Russians who are not accustomed to wearing heavy glass containers with a foamy product in bags, and those who are skilled in carrying 1,5-, 2- and more than one liter plastic bottles with cherished life-giving moisture from the nearest kiosk. Well, in fact, what was it that Rosalkogolregulirovanie itself thought about earlier, when it hatched the idea of banning plastic containers when distributing beer! Apparently, people there didn’t have any idea that as soon as plastic beer bottles were banned, we would immediately increase the level of injuries. Surely these officials are not aware that after a couple of bottles of cold water among Russians, first begin to have intimate conversations, then disputes, and then, sorry, it’s not far to a massacre. Feels offended man in his hand a glass bottle - and what are his next steps? Right! Try using it to prove to your opponent that he is wrong. What's next? Right again! Ambulance, extra nerves, expenses, bandages and a solution of brilliant green.
And if at hand only a plastic "and a half"? Yes, then argue at least until blue in the face, and you no traumatic. It will certainly be more difficult to prove one’s point of view than with glassware in hand, but how the art of rhetoric will develop among our brother!
Apparently, at the last moment, the specialists from Rosalkogolregulirovaniye, after conducting relevant experiments on themselves, decided to cancel the requirements for the sale of beer in plastic. As the saying goes: "And experience, the son of difficult mistakes, and genius, paradoxes of each ..."
Dear Georgian President
Ivanishvili counted how expensive Georgians are to keep Saakashvili
This week continued exotic political relations between the current Georgian President Mr. Saakashvili and the newly-minted Prime Minister Bidzina Ivanishvili. The head of government, having counted how much the president cost the ordinary Georgians, was literally horrified and suggested that Mikhail Nikolozovich be modest. Modesty, according to Ivanishvili, should be expressed in that the President of Georgia immediately moved from the posh presidential palace (Avlabari) to the building of the State Chancellery, in which Ivanishvili himself works, and also holds meetings of the Government of Georgia and the National Security Council.
Mikhail Nikolozovich was offended by the proposal of Bidzina Grigorievich: either because he went up to the 11-th floor of the State Chancellery (it was there that the office of the former President of Georgia, Eduard Shevardnadze, was located), or because the proximity of the Prime Minister would be the president. As a result, through the mouth of his press secretary (Mrs. Mnadzhgaladze), Saakashvili replied: they say, you have no right! Hands off my presidential palace, which in the West, by the way, managed to christen the palace of Caligula.
And you can understand Mikhail Nikolozovich: why change the palace, in which only the bulletproof dome created by the Italian architect de Lucca at the behest of Saakashvili himself, costs more than 650 thousand dollars, for some small closet almost under the roof of a building built for the hated Georgian president Central Committee of the Communist Party of Georgia.
Ivanishvili did not retreat: he said that Georgia’s taxpayers spend about half a million dollars a month on the president’s plane alone (the president, for the most part, flies overseas) and saves electricity in his palace for a slightly lower amount. Apparently, now the Georgian president will have to turn off the light in the toilet and the "hallway" of his palace, so that the counter does not wind so quickly, and you will have to be more careful with the flights on your special plane. But if it does not refuse, the new leader of Georgia will turn on a completely different counter.
And this, after all, Ivanishvili has not yet considered how much the president of Borzhom drinks for a day ...
So now, if you, friends, suddenly find yourself in Georgia and see a large building with a glass dome, in the windows of which the electric light never burns, and in the evenings the dim light of a lonely candle is shaking, then you should know that Mikhail Nikolozovich works in new conditions for himself Saakashvili. If you raise your eyes to the Georgian sky and see a man in a helmet and a red tie in the biplane U-2 gondola, then Ivanishvili managed to transplant the Georgian president to a cheaper aircraft maintenance aircraft ...
Part II. “We'll drink, make psychophysical contact ...”
Forgetful hillary
Double standards - in life!
Hillary Clinton, the US Secretary of State, recently visited Croatia, where explained (using favorite hegemonic verbs) that the United States, solving the Syrian issue, will not wait, but crush. “Do not wait,” the verb with the negative particle “not” is addressed to Russia, China and fellow peacemaker L. Brahimi, but “pushing”, without a particle, is for the “regime” of Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad.
In order to “crush” sounded in full force, Mrs. Clinton noted that efforts to create anti-Assad pressure would be massive: “Our efforts, as well as the efforts of our partners in the EU and the Arab League, are aimed at putting pressure on the regime by strengthening and tightening the sanctions, meeting the humanitarian needs of displaced Syrian citizens, and providing assistance to countries in which they seek asylum. ” At the same time, the United States and its partners, added Clinton, intend to help the Syrian opposition "unite around a common effective strategy that can counter the violence of the regime and begin to make a political transition."
So that there was someone to entrust the implementation of an “effective strategy” and that there was someone “to carry out a political transition”, the State Department proposed a fairly straightforward method: to form a “governing structure of the opposition”. The frail émigré Syrian National Council did not justify the hopes of the American diplomacy in charge of other countries, and therefore they decided to remove its representatives from the political road.
On November 1, Washington publicly expressed disappointment with the SNA and reported on the efforts that America is about to undertake to update the leadership of the Syrian opposition. These efforts will be undertaken as early as next week, in the Qatari capital Doha.
“We believe that it is necessary to urgently form the governing structure of the opposition,” said State Department spokesman Patrick Wentrell, confirming what was previously said to his boss.
Speaking of sadness on the face of the SNS, a man from the State Department noted that this group, consisting of foreign opponents of Bashar al-Assad, “failed to expand its leadership” by the opposition movement. The United States and other countries of the “Group of Friends of Syria” believe that the SNS may continue to participate in opposition activities, but at the Doha meeting new candidates will be represented for the leadership of the Syrian opposition. Mr. Ventrell refrained from mentioning specific names, stating only that it is mainly about people "who can do not only organizational, but also practical work."
So, in Washington everything was decided. Most likely, the candidates received approval in the White House. It now remains to promote them to the future government “in a democratic way,” that is, with the approval of the “friends,” who apparently understand better what the long-suffering people of Syria need. Better than the people themselves.
What distinguishes such an approach from dictatorship, probably, only Hillary knows.
Mr. Ventrell failed to conceal that in Doha, in essence, it is planned to create a transitional government, which over time should come to power in Syria. Gosdepovski official said: "After the fall of the Assad regime will require structures that will be able to provide governance and the provision of services to the population."
Strange as it may sound for the State Department, but until now Bashar Assad effectively provided services to the population: his army kicked out and knocked out militants and mercenaries from the cities and villages of Syria. The protege of the United States seems to provide services to Washington, and not to the people of Syria.
Everyone, including Washington officials, is well aware that the policy of “forming governing structures” means nothing other than creating governments loyal to America or controlled by America. It cannot be said that during the “Arab spring” Washington brilliantly achieved this goal, but it can be noted with confidence that he did not retreat from it. The hegemon's dictatorial manners are incurable. In the same way as the double standards that have long been second-kind to American top-level government managers are also ineradicable.
In mid-October, Hillary Clinton said: “We recognize that the transition to democracy in the Middle East is not a business of the USA ...” And she didn’t say anywhere in a private conversation in a tavern on Capitol Hill after two or three cocktails, but at a meeting at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington
This is how intricately thinking in the capital of the world! On the one hand, we urgently form the governing structure of the opposition, on the other - this is not an American matter.
And whose is it, I'm sorry, is it? Maybe Qatar? Do not tell the world community, Mrs and Misters from the State Department!
Flying drunkard
American traditions in Okinawa
It is difficult to serve far from home. All hard - and Russian, and Europeans, and Africans, and Australians. But all somehow bear, and only one Americans do not maintain. Some people, according to rumors, believe that the valiant star-striped warriors have a special psyche: they don’t tolerate foreign lands in large portions. There is, however, another opinion: being under the flag of another, and even with a pistol in his pants, a grenade at his belt and a number on his neck, so to speak, with some regalia and powers, the brave Yankees begin to consider themselves representatives of a higher nation. True, this assessment of them somehow differs from the assessment given by the lower aborigines - for example, the Japanese from Okinawa.
November 2 Young American Military Pilot sat in a bar and succumbed. Already in the morning, pumping up to the clouding of mind, 24-year-old Mr. went up to the third floor of the hotel and for some reason burst into the room located above the bar. The pilot dragged the 13-year-old boy into the room, hit him, then broke the TV and ... jumped out of the window.
Perhaps, under the influence of the magical vapors of whiskey, this Mr. decided that he was on the plane, and the chassis was removed, and the tanks were full of fuel, but the reality was firmly objected to the alcoholic. With broken bones and bruised internal organs of the failing flyer, they were taken to a hospital at a military base.
The Japanese failed to appreciate the succession of outstanding actions of a flying drunk. Instead of mass worship of American Icarus and entering it in the annals stories and mythology on this extraordinary man dashed a complaint through the Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
"Icarus" only continued the well-known deboshirskuyu tradition in Okinawa. In mid-October, two American marines who raped a girl, were arrested by the police. This incident also happened in the morning - and the marines, like the pilot, pumped alcohol all night.
Earlier, in August, in Okinawa was taken into custody a US Marine sergeant for attacking a local woman. In the 2006 year, an employee of the US Air Force base was imprisoned on charges of double rape for 9 years. And in 1995, three American soldiers kidnapped and raped a 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirl.
Peaceful guys from Uganda
New approaches to military security
On Wednesday this week it became known about the new American way to overcome the crisis in the security military business. True, about how to save on the guards, along with the press learned and the US Department of Justice.
It turns out that last year against a private company engaged in defense contracts, filed a lawsuit former employee of this company Omar Badr. The company is called "Triple Canopy", and it is registered in Reston (Virginia, USA). Now the Ministry of Justice of a free democratic country has joined this lawsuit, where
Outraged, Comrade Badr wrote in his complaint that “Triple Canopy” represented fake test results of its employees and that its so-called security guards were employees of extremely low qualifications.
In June, the Joint Command in Iraq and Afghanistan (JCC-I / A), which deals with contracting issues, signed a one-year 2009 million-dollar contract with Triple Canopy. The company was supposed to provide security for Al-Assad, the second largest air base in Iraq.
Now federal officials from US justice claim that Triple Canopy purposely hired foreigners as security guards - those who were not able to pass the qualification test required by the contract. Fighters from Uganda, numbering several hundred, as commented to the court by Comrade Badr, who are provided as a “Triple Canopy” guard contingent, didn’t really know how to use firearms weapon. The guards hired to protect the base couldn’t accurately or safely shoot AK-47 or other weapons. Simply put, in which case these guys will start firing from AK or American assault rifles in all directions.
It is curious that, according to the American authorities, the managers of Triple Canopy not only falsified the test results of their “security guards” - in order to get a lucrative Iraqi contract - but continued to bill the government even after the top managers at the company’s headquarters warned of wrongdoing.
Moreover, the complaint by comrade Badr claims that Triple Canopy used fakes about the qualifications of its personnel, trying to convince JCC-I to prolong the contract on the Al-Asad airbase for a second year!
"For a government contractor ... this is unthinkable ... especially in wartime," says Stuart Deliri, Acting Assistant Attorney General for Civil Affairs of the Ministry of Justice.
The attitude of the American administration to Triple Canopy has changed, probably only because checks of US missions abroad have begun, involving the attack of terrorists on the consulate in Benghazi. That is, if it were not for the murder of the ambassador and three more people, American objects abroad would continue to be guarded by people who cannot shoot.
The company "Triple Canopy" is famous for something else. In 2011, just when Omar Badr condemned her, she won Pentagon’s 159 millionth security contract in Afghanistan. Although the authorities of this particular country accused Triple Canopy of abuse (in the Washington Post, are called "Unspecified serious crimes"). Finally, the company turned out to be one of the finalists for the best state contractor held by official Washington.
If this company was considered one of the best, then what are the worst?
Welcome to Zombieland!
Zombies and terrorists have a lot in common.
Exercises at the counter-terrorism summit in San Diego (California), which began on the eve of Halloween and ended on November 1, were planned for September. 44 acres of areas on the island were prepared, and Brad Barker, president of the security corporation HALO and one of the organizers of the exercises, saidthat in order to be able to wage an effective battle, servicemen must train on the “threat” that teaches “to respond to everything”. And honestly warned that they say, this time "will be very scary." He was nodded to Michael Hayden, the former director of the CIA.
The president of the company did not lie.
Paradise Point Resort has been invaded by ... zombies. The hordes of the living dead tried to devour everything living in their path, but the brave "fur seals" in alliance with other military personnel and policemen total 1000 people, led by government and local officials, repelled the two-day attack. In order to hit the approaching zombie or to clear the “walking” territory, the soldiers fired at room temperature in the forehead, trying to hit the brain.
In order to make the teachings as realistic as possible, was imitated "Federal incident". On all the forty-four acres of Paradise Point Resort, Hollywood scenery was unfolded — right down to the whole rural settlement typical of these places, and even a “pirate bay”. On the make-up of money, too, did not regret. Who said that there is a crisis in America?
The exercise scenario was modeled for a very long time in collaboration with the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), whose administration last year announced to the citizens of the country that they should be ready for invasion of carnivorous creatures.
Mr. Barker 31 of October confirmed: “Without a doubt, when the“ zombie apocalypse ”begins, it will have the scale of a federal incident ...”
In his opinion, shows and television films could help both the American public and troops in the fight against zombies. This would be useful to people: after all, unexpected catastrophic events, including natural disasters and terrorist acts, are surrounded by uncertainty.
Brad Barker says: “No one knows what the zombies will do in each case, but, frankly, no one knows how the terrorists will behave ... Suppose the policeman saw the zombies and told him:“ Stop, raise your hands! ”What zombies will do back? Yes, he will just growl. Now imagine that you met a drug addict, a substance abuser, or some criminal. Well, how do you know how he will react to you? "
In the CDC, their campaign to counter the zombies and thus attract the attention of citizens explained small budget.
As part of the campaign, the agency recommended that Americans stock up on fresh water per gallon per person per day, long-term storage products, radios on batteries and blankets. The CDC decided: "Why not give people what they want?"
The Department of National Security has already joined this department, in September, it organized a webinar on training against the zombie apocalypse.
Returning to the teachings on the island, where entire settlements and city streets were built from improvised Hollywood materials, let us ask ourselves one small question. If Mr. Barker compares a drug addict or a terrorist in some sense with a zombie, doesn’t he propose to American society a radical way of getting rid of people of indefinite behavior?
After all, the only way to destroy a zombie - punch his head with a bullet.
* “What are the people before the greedy good of others” - a phrase from the cartoon “Three from Prostokvashino”
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