Military Review

Battle of Austerlitz: Allied Forces

212
Battle of Austerlitz: Allied Forces
The Russian infantry is attacking. A still from the film "Austerlitz" (France, Italy, Yugoslavia, 1960). Perhaps it can be called the best movie that shows this battle. And the uniforms and ... the fur coats in him are just great


In favor of god Zlata
The edge on the edge of war;
And human blood by the river
On the blade flows Bulat!
People die for metal,
People are dying for the metal!
(Verses of Mephistopheles from Gounod's opera "Faust". Authors of the libretto - J. Barbier and M. Carré)

Greatest battles in stories. In the two previous articles in our series, we examined the uniforms of the allies - participants in the Battle of Austerlitz, Russians and Austrians. And logically, today's material should also be about uniforms. But only their opponents - the French. But ... how much can you do with mentics, dolmen, pantaloons and leggings? They will not run away from us anywhere, all the more so without pantaloons then, and even now no one is at war. So there will be more about the French pantaloons, but for now let's see what forces the allies and their enemy, the Emperor of France Napoleon Bonaparte, had at Austerlitz.

Let's start from the top. Such in the Russian imperial army was the Emperor Alexander I himself, surrounded by his retinue, which, as you know, “makes the king”. During his reign there were suites: Prince Czartoryski and Counts Stroganov and Novosiltsev - all secret advisers. Prince Volkonsky was the adjutant general of the emperor and acted as the general on duty, and Count Lieven was in charge of the Military Campaign Office, Lieutenant General Count Arakcheev (where without him!) Was also with the emperor's person and was listed as an inspector of the Russian artillery, engineer-general Sukhtelen ruled the suite His Imperial Majesty was in charge of the quartermaster's department, and Chief Marshal Count Tolstoy was in charge of supplies.


Portrait of P. M. Volkonsky by George Doe. Military Gallery of the Winter Palace, State Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg

General of Infantry MI Kutuzov was considered the commander-in-chief, and there were two quartermaster generals at once: Major General Franz von Weyrother and Major General Gerard 1st. The first represented the Austrians, the second - the Russians. Artillery at Kutuzov was commanded by Lieutenant General Baron Meller-Zakomelsky, and Major General Glukhov was in charge of the engineering troops.

From the side of the Austrians, the command was carried out by Emperor Franz II, Field Marshal-Lieutenant Prince Schwarzenberg and Field Marshal-Lieutenant de Lamberti, who was the Emperor's Adjutant General. The British were also at the headquarters (how could one do without the British?): Lord Grenville, Charles Stewart and John Ramsey.


Field Marshal-Lieutenant Prince Karl Philip Schwarzenberg. Unknown artist. Cesky Krumlov Castle

On November 17 (29), 1805, the allied troops, leaving the Great Olmüts road, went around Brunn, moving through Austerlitz. We walked slowly, getting bogged down in mud on country roads and periodically dispersed in search of fuel and provisions. Well, about where their enemy was, there were only very vague ideas, although the Russian-Austrian army was on its territory and simply had to have good intelligence and agents.

The offensive plan was developed by Major General Franz von Weyrother. And here the question immediately arises: why is he? Just because he did maneuvers here the year before? And although there were enough generals at the headquarters of Emperor Alexander and under the command of the Kutuzovs, that is why they were entrusted with drawing up this plan, approved by both monarchs. In our literature, they like to write about the fact that Emperor Alexander was under the influence of the Austrians. But why was he under it? For youth or stupidity? And why did not his retinue and those of his ilk dissuade him from this influence? After all, after Ulm, something was hard to believe in the general genius of the Austrian generals. And there were more Russians in the allied army than Austrians. But, nevertheless, for some reason Weyrother ... Moreover, when Weyrother on the night of November 20 (December 2) at a meeting at headquarters with the chiefs of the columns read out his disposition, then when asked by one of them about what would happen if the French attacked Allied troops on Prazen Heights, the Quartermaster General replied: “This case is not foreseen". Moreover, the translation of his disposition into Russian was completed only in the morning, and the commanders of the columns received it even later, at 6 o'clock in the morning.


General and Adjutant General of the Austrian Army. Artist Richard Knötel (1857-1914). Military History Museum, Vienna

Everyone writes that Alexander disliked Kutuzov. But why? Because he knew about the impending attempt on his father and did not report it? Or, on the contrary, he knew and reported, but there was no need to report? But Kutuzov ... could have gone to the emperor, criticized Weyrother's plan and ... even put his sword at the feet of the beloved emperor. Like, my gray hair does not allow me to bend my soul and all that stuff ... But I didn’t do it. He preferred the role of a stupid campaigner, although he was the commander-in-chief. In short, there are so many "why" and so many secrets in all this that it is simply impossible to unravel this tangle today. One can only state: it was like this, but it was like that ...

It is interesting that L. Tolstoy in "War and Peace" in the words of Prince Andrei wrote about the same:

“But was it really impossible for Kutuzov to directly express his thoughts to the sovereign? Can't it be done otherwise? Is it possible for court and personal considerations to risk tens of thousands of my, my life? " He thought.

In general, it turned out as it is written by Tolstoy: “Die erste Kolonne marschiert ... die zweite Kolonne marschiert ... die dritte Kolonne marschiert ...”[1] And no one dared to prevent this. Didn't even try! And it only says that our generals, so brave on the battlefield, were more afraid of ... their own than the enemy. And this is very sad. There was one who was not afraid, because by that time he was already in the grave for a long time, and no one else dared to follow his example. Ranks were clearly more expensive than honor, alas.

But what were all these columns, what was their structure and strength? Well, now we will find out about this too.


Portrait of Lieutenant General Prince P.I.Bagration by George Doe. Military Gallery of the Winter Palace, State Hermitage (St. Petersburg)

In the Russian army near Austerlitz, the vanguard was allocated as a separate detachment, commanded by Lieutenant General Prince Bagration. According to some reports, there were 11 soldiers in it, including 750 horsemen with 3000 guns, and according to others (edited by the Eksmo publishing house) - 30 people and 13 guns, Russian and Austrian.


Russian grenadiers on the left and fusilier on the right, 1805-1806 Artist Richard Knötel (1857-1914). Military History Museum, Vienna

A separate detachment was the Russian Guard under the command of the Grand Duke Constantine: 8500 people, of which 2600 were cavalrymen with 40 guns, although, according to Russian sources, more than 10 people!


Portrait led. book Konstantin Pavlovich. Unknown artist. 1807-1809 State Memorial Museum of A. V. Suvorov, St. Petersburg

The Austrians also had a vanguard under the command of Field Marshal-Lieutenant Baron Kienmeier: about 5000 people, 1000 horsemen, two of our Cossack regiments of 500 Cossacks and 12 cannons.


Portrait of Lieutenant General D.S.Dokhturov by George Doe. Military Gallery of the Winter Palace, State Hermitage (St. Petersburg)

Lieutenant General Dokhturov commanded the first of the famous "Weyrother's columns". Under his command were the following forces: 7752 people (according to other sources, 13600!) And 64 guns.


Portrait of Lieutenant General Count AF Langeron by George Doe. Military Gallery of the Winter Palace, State Hermitage (St. Petersburg)

The second column was commanded by a Frenchman in the service of the Russian army, Count Langeron, also in the rank of lieutenant general: 10 people, including 283 horsemen and 360 cannons. According to other sources, he had more people: 30 11!

The third column of Lieutenant General Przhibyshevsky: 5448 (7770) people with 30 guns.

The fourth column was commanded by two: the field assistant Count Kolovrat from the Austrians and Lieutenant General Miloradovich from the Russians. She numbered 12 099 people (16 190) with 76 guns.


Portrait of M. A. Miloradovich by George Doe. Military Gallery of the Winter Palace, State Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg

The fifth column was subordinate to Field Marshal-Lieutenant Prince of Liechtenstein and numbered 4622 cavalrymen with 24 guns, and according to the Eksmo edition - 5300 and 18 guns.


Johann von Lichtenstein, 1816 In the battle of Austerlitz, he commanded the 5th column, which consisted entirely of cavalry. His troops fought well, although they could not save the allied army from defeat. Johann Baptist von Lampi the Elder (1751-1830). Liechtenstein Museum, Vienna

Thus, the total forces of the Russian-Austrian army before the battle of Austerlitz were as follows: 72 789 people, of whom there were 14 139 cavalrymen, and 318 guns in total. But there is evidence that the total number was even about 85 thousand people!

[1] The first column is marching ... the second column is marching ... the third column is marching ... (German).

PS Some of the VO readers complain about the paucity of sources on the topic raised. Well, perhaps, for this case, we can recommend this highly interesting publication: Mikhailovsky-Danilevsky Alexander Ivanovich. Description of the first war between Emperor Alexander and Napoleon in 1805. Publisher: Type. Headquarters of the Separate Corps of the Inner Guard. Place of publication: St. Petersburg. Year of publication: 1844. Number of pages: 304 p.

True, it was written, alas, with Yaty and Fita. However, it is from him that both our Russian and foreign authors usually draw all the details about this battle. It is also valuable because there are also maps, although they are given on too small a scale.


To be continued ...
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  1. Lech from Android.
    Lech from Android. April 3 2021 04: 06
    +5
    I am waiting for the continuation hi impatiently. smile
    1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
      Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 06: 18
      +9
      Yes Vyacheslav Olegovich cheated with the French !!! But it should be noted - it's nice. The selection of portraits is simply amazing !!!
      1. Korsar4
        Korsar4 April 3 2021 07: 35
        +6
        While the columns were dragging on, the French had not yet appeared.

        There was a time when I regularly reread War and Peace. I liked it right away. From the summer before the tenth grade.
        1. depressant
          depressant April 3 2021 08: 11
          +7
          By the way, yes, one of my favorite works from my school years. Written with the ability to immerse yourself in the distant reality that happened to me. You read as if about your relatives. Dokhturov and Miloradovich have always liked portraits.
          1. Korsar4
            Korsar4 April 3 2021 08: 14
            +3
            This is the pinnacle of Russian literature.
            It was not in vain that Myshlaevsky singled out from all the books.
            1. depressant
              depressant April 3 2021 09: 03
              +3
              Myshlaevsky? Upon the release of the novel, a whole crowd of famous literary critics spoke out. Most noted that the novel was written in this way - with insignificant distraction by details, which flicker only as if by the way, because they are familiar to the heroes, which creates an atmosphere of immersion of the reader in that distant reality. There is a lot of criticism towards "war". But Myshlaevsky did not seem to be noted, or I don’t know something)))
              1. Korsar4
                Korsar4 April 3 2021 10: 17
                +5
                "White Guard". Captain Myshlaevsky.
                1. depressant
                  depressant April 3 2021 11: 32
                  +4
                  Ah, that's why I don't know such a critic. You meant the character ... But if we draw parallels, then it is more likely to be seen
                  connection of Alexei Turbin with the image of Andrei Bolkonsky. After a miraculous recovery, Turbin's eyes "forever became unsmiling and gloomy" as a sign of spiritual death, which happened with Prince Andrew in War and Peace.
                  According to Bulgakov himself, the novel "The White Guard" was really conceived by him as an epic in the style of L.N. Tolstoy, one from which "the sky will become hot." Subsequently, Bulgakov became disillusioned with his work and called it "unsuccessful". Too self-critical. However, it is peculiar to geniuses.
                  1. Korsar4
                    Korsar4 April 3 2021 16: 03
                    +3
                    Myshlaevsky was reproached for not reading books. And he referred to Tolstoy. Because the lieutenant of artillery.
          2. Proxima
            Proxima April 3 2021 12: 21
            +3
            Quote: depressant
            By the way, yes, one of my favorite works from my school years.

            "War and Peace" is considered throughout the world the benchmark of the historical novel, which by the way no one has surpassed! Who has not seen, I recommend watching the series filmed based on this work of the BBC. Looks in one breath. good Of such quality the film could only be made by a fan of Tolstoy... True, the director was lucky with the "screenwriter". Lev Nikolaevich voluntarily "helped" him in this.
            1. depressant
              depressant April 3 2021 12: 31
              +2
              Do you mean a series in which Pierre Bezukhov is cute and young, unlike Bondarchuk?
          3. Undecim
            Undecim April 3 2021 17: 16
            +7
            Written with the ability to immerse yourself in that distant reality
            Especially the endless passages in French that made me descend into footnotes. There was a keen desire to knock the author on the head with this book.
            I read it out of principle.
            1. depressant
              depressant April 3 2021 17: 40
              +2
              Viktor Nikolaevich, well, this is mainly in the first chapter - such a dive! So it is accepted now. For credibility. Here I read the novels of the Stalker series, and there, it happens, one of the significant characters speaks in mov, while other characters speak in Russian, - speaks half of the book until his bloodsucker snags or falls into an anomaly, but atmospheric. Believe it or not, I can hardly parse the text of the remarks, literally by letter, out of respect for the author's titanic work and out of sympathy for him, I read everything on the Move. But French - read it, don't read it, I just don't know the language. I read long French paragraphs in footnotes, and nothing, it's okay))))
              1. Undecim
                Undecim April 3 2021 17: 44
                +3
                I read everything on the Move
                Translated into Russian, your phrase looks like this: "I read everything in the language." Maybe you meant the Ukrainian language, which, according to the local lemming community, does not exist?
                As for the linguistic exercises of Leo Tolstoy, the novel "War and Peace" without them would not have lost anything in literary terms.
                In any case, some wrote without such twists and turns, and no worse.
                1. depressant
                  depressant April 3 2021 18: 22
                  +3
                  Of course, in Ukrainian! But I sincerely believed that the Ukrainians themselves call their language that way. Moreover, this followed from the texts of the works I read. I'm not an expert)))
                  1. Undecim
                    Undecim April 3 2021 18: 26
                    0
                    Ukrainians call all languages ​​that way.
                    Language as a symbol of communication - mova.
                    1. depressant
                      depressant April 3 2021 18: 44
                      +3
                      Thanks to your persistence, Viktor Nikolaevich, I learned that Ukrainians call their language - Ukrainian mova.
                      1. Undecim
                        Undecim April 3 2021 19: 27
                        +2
                        And French is French. And so on.
                        We are fortunate enough to discuss this issue in a friendly atmosphere. The local gopota does not go to such articles. Otherwise, there would have been tons of manure.
          4. Astra wild2
            Astra wild2 April 3 2021 18: 00
            +1
            Lyudmila Yakovlevna, of course I read War and Peace, but I put the first part higher. Of course Karataev and so on, but I FEEL CLOSER.
            "Sunday", "Crime and Punishment", "How the Steel Has Tempered", "Young Guard" are constantly in use for me. I can reread my favorite passages many times and each time I find new nuances
        2. Phil77
          Phil77 April 3 2021 14: 34
          +6
          Greetings Sergei! And I ... and to my shame I did not vouch for it. I repent, but the abundance of French was repulsed. Perhaps the publication was unsuccessful / I constantly had to read the translation, which is a great distraction /. In a word, I passed by. recourseBut I watched the film. There are no complaints about the film. Not at all.
          1. Korsar4
            Korsar4 April 3 2021 16: 05
            +5
            Hi, Seryozha. You can even read in pieces. Masterpiece. I just swallowed it whole. Immediately.
      2. Alien From
        Alien From April 3 2021 09: 31
        +2
        Olegovich saddled and spurred this topic good hi cool as always!
      3. vladcub
        vladcub April 3 2021 13: 25
        +4
        Namesake, V.O. "threw" us with trousers. Behind him you need to look in 4 eyes, so that he does not "throw"
        Yesterday I was waiting for the "French uniform", but today I was shooting
        1. kalibr
          April 3 2021 16: 46
          +1
          About the form will be AFTER THE BATTLE DESCRIPTION.
          1. vladcub
            vladcub April 3 2021 16: 49
            +3
            It's good when there is something to wait
            1. kalibr
              April 3 2021 17: 14
              +1
              Wait and hope are two words that hold the world together!
    2. kalibr
      April 3 2021 12: 50
      +3
      Already two have been written, so it will be for you. Then there will be the third and fourth ... Above the fifth ... I think.
      1. depressant
        depressant April 3 2021 16: 33
        +1
        Vyacheslav Olegovich, on occasion, in the following articles, still answer: why white trousers?
        Leggings - understandably, officer's clothes, no question. But the soldiers have white pants! I searched the entire Internet, there is no clear answer. Budget? Not a problem! They spent on additional fenkies to the soldier's uniform, not stingy. So that the soldiers do not lie in the grooves during the battle? After all, it can be seen that a coward in white pants will not hide. Maybe it's easier to keep in line? A square of 1000 soldiers will easily overcome a scattered crowd of 5000. Hygiene? We agreed that you can see lice on your white pants - how's that? Or is it a question of advancing democracy - if an officer is in white trousers, then a soldier, so that while maintaining understandable subordinate differences in the material used, it would be similar and therefore the soldier is not offended.
        1. kalibr
          April 3 2021 16: 43
          +4
          Everything is very simple DO NOT NEED TO PAINT! Bleached fabric is the cheapest! The army needs TONS OF PAINT. Imagine an army in red pants ... It's cochineal! And most of it is in the hands of the British. The blue pants are indigo, and this is the French. Again, it's more important to spend it on cloth, not linen! Even the first jeans were unpainted, unbleached canvas. The cheapest paint at that time - Marengo - black - from the Germans, and green - from us. But even it was saved!
          1. depressant
            depressant April 3 2021 17: 16
            +3
            So, after all, paint ... Cloth - these are uniforms, greatcoats, coats, capes - dense, thick, expensive fabric, and paint was spent on it. That is how it is. Thanks! ))))
            And then I found out that on the Internet, whole crowds of people asked and are still asking the same question as me.
            1. Phil77
              Phil77 April 3 2021 18: 08
              +2
              And I would not rule out the version about the vanity of the then rulers. After all, if you look at the uniforms of the armies of those times, then the first feeling that arises is wild and unbridled delight. Delight in front of the beauty of uniforms! And uniform white trousers are like nothing else perfectly combined with the splendor of uniforms. ...
              * My friend, Buonaparte, look at my guard! And compare it with yours! Yes, take off the bear hats from your hicks and that's it! And what are mine, eh?! Eagles, falcons, golden eagles! Guards! Your mother! Envy! white pants! Even though they have never been to Rio de Janeiro! *laughing
              1. kalibr
                April 3 2021 18: 31
                +2
                Quote: Phil77
                uniform white trousers

                The Austrian generals had them in red, the Seckler border infantry had blue, the rangers had gray and green (ours), the French light infantry had blue, light cavalry had red and green, dark blue in the engineering troops and artillery, and the foot gendarmes - yellow ... And on the campaign everyone wore gray trousers.
                1. Phil77
                  Phil77 April 3 2021 18: 35
                  +1
                  Vyacheslav Olegovich! Sorry, I'm joking. About white pants. Of course, everyone had a different aesthetic taste.
                  A slight, casual exaggeration. hi
                  1. kalibr
                    April 3 2021 18: 54
                    +1
                    Quote: Phil77
                    A slight, casual exaggeration.

                    So I'm not serious either. You just suddenly forgot about it ...
              2. depressant
                depressant April 3 2021 18: 31
                +2
                Seryozha, a tsarist officer is hiding in you! And now, your true essence has broken through)))
                Yes, in those days they knew how to decorate valor.
            2. kalibr
              April 3 2021 18: 18
              +3
              Quote: depressant
              are asking the same question as me.

              So, in my opinion, they have already written about this and have written for a long time ...
        2. Richard
          Richard April 3 2021 22: 19
          +3
          depressant: still answer: why white trousers?

          According to the assumption made by the famous historian Comrade Bender, the Austrian Arimia immediately after Austerlitz was going to attack Rio de Janeiro, where everyone walks in white pants (c) smile
  2. apro
    apro April 3 2021 04: 38
    +5
    Here is also a good analysis.
    https://youtu.be/SZXBLPv5B4M
  3. Catfish
    Catfish April 3 2021 04: 59
    +12
    Good morning friends! smile
    Olegovich thanks for the next opus and I hasten to inform him that he is a little wrong. wink
    ... all the more so without pantaloons then, and even now, no one is at war.

    How is it nobody ?! And these? laughing



    I'm not speaking for Africa anymore.
    1. Krasnodar
      Krasnodar April 3 2021 05: 53
      +5
      Greetings, Constantine! hi
      Already then they protested against the Arab dominance in Cologne!
      In fact, it is convenient. Sat down - pooped quickly. pants do not need to be removed - put on, ventilation is excellent fellow
      1. Catfish
        Catfish April 3 2021 06: 22
        +7
        In winter, you won't get drunk. laughing
        1. Krasnodar
          Krasnodar April 3 2021 06: 31
          +6
          - Felix Edmundovich, do you have hairy legs?
          - Hairy ...
          - So we will write: "Dzerzhinsky will not give out felt boots for the winter."
      2. Kote Pan Kokhanka
        Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 06: 25
        +8
        Quote: Krasnodar
        In fact, it is convenient. Sat down - pooped quickly. pants do not need to be removed - put on, ventilation is excellent

        Uh-huh friends, especially!



        Happy owners of pantaloons !!!!
        1. Krasnodar
          Krasnodar April 3 2021 06: 33
          +6
          Greetings, Nikolay! hi
          Interestingly, in winter they wore pantyhose with fleece?
        2. kalibr
          April 3 2021 07: 22
          +8
          This poster is better!
      3. kalibr
        April 3 2021 07: 11
        +7
        Of course, I forgot about that. But ... there is a BUT! The Scots wore pants too! Checkered! Although not all!
        1. Catfish
          Catfish April 3 2021 07: 23
          +9
          Plaid trousers were worn by Lyuber near Moscow, this punks stole fashion from the Scots? laughing
          1. Korsar4
            Korsar4 April 3 2021 07: 38
            +5
            And also a donkey from our "Bremen Town Musicians".
            1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
              Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 08: 04
              +6
              Quote: Korsar4
              And also a donkey from our "Bremen Town Musicians".

              Hands off my checked pants !!! laughing
              1. Korsar4
                Korsar4 April 3 2021 08: 05
                +5
                Then there is a copyright sign in every cell.
                Also ban chess.
                1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
                  Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 08: 10
                  +6
                  Figs to you, and not from a dead donkey's ears !!! laughing
                  1. Korsar4
                    Korsar4 April 3 2021 08: 12
                    +5
                    What donkeys will withstand your Ural climate and character.
              2. vladcub
                vladcub April 3 2021 18: 20
                +4
                Namesake, you starred in: "The Bremen Town Musicians" ?!
                1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
                  Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 22: 34
                  +2
                  Quote: vladcub
                  Namesake, you starred in: "The Bremen Town Musicians" ?!

                  No namesake, I don't like checked clothes !!!
            2. Catfish
              Catfish April 3 2021 08: 17
              +6
              The donkey in the cartoon is a creature quite so intelligent, which cannot be said about these.
              1. Korsar4
                Korsar4 April 3 2021 08: 20
                +6
                Also hardy. Who else could be harnessed to the shafts?
          2. Krasnodar
            Krasnodar April 3 2021 09: 03
            +5
            These are the Lyubertsy 90s, which did not have enough money for the Pyramids)).
            1. Catfish
              Catfish April 3 2021 17: 09
              +4
              Likewise, and even the eternal envy of the provincials for the capital, while the cities were divided into categories in the supply of food, and not only that.
            2. Freeman
              Freeman April 3 2021 17: 34
              +4
              Quote: Krasnodar
              These are the Lyubertsy 90s, which did not have enough money for the Pyramids)).


              stop Yes, not a fig! "Cages" is the second half, the end of the 80s.



              And with the owners of the "pyramids" (and not only), in the late 80s, the first wave of "Lyuber" and "cut", considering them as "majors".

              Shl. Having arisen as a reaction of the "urban proletarian outskirts" to the emergence of a new layer of "masters of life", later the "movement" began to pursue completely different goals, partially merging with the criminals.
              "However, this is a completely different story" (c)
        2. Senior seaman
          Senior seaman April 3 2021 15: 57
          +4
          The Scots wore pants too! Checkered! Although not all!
          Quote: kalibr
          The Scots wore pants too! Checkered! Although not all!

          Vyacheslav Olegovich, do not forget to illustrate the British. Curious about the pants?
          1. kalibr
            April 3 2021 16: 22
            +4
            Quote: Senior Sailor
            Curious about the pants?

            Necessarily! I have a funny book on the uniform of the British army - all of its ladies gradually.
      4. Richard
        Richard April 3 2021 22: 31
        +4
        Greetings, Constantine! hi
        Greetings Albert! hi
        Anecdote about the Scots smile
        Reception at the Queen of England.
        The herald is the "representative of Wells". A gentleman in an impeccable suit enters the hall.
        The herald is the "representative of Northern Ireland". A gentleman in an impeccable suit enters the hall.
        The herald is the "representative of Scotland". A gentleman in an impeccable suit enters the hall.
        The queen cries in the ear - "Why is he not in a skirt?"
        Speak in her ear - He's gay, Your Highness "
        1. Catfish
          Catfish April 4 2021 00: 00
          +4
          He is gay, Your Highness "


          Great! laughing
    2. Kote Pan Kokhanka
      Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 06: 14
      +7
      I understood that Vyacheslav was referring to the "gentlemen" gathered in the Austerlitz field.
      And so you can safely add them to the Scots.

      1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
        Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 06: 16
        +7
        They also did without lace pantaloons!
      2. Catfish
        Catfish April 3 2021 06: 23
        +6
        Well, these are still in pants. request
        1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
          Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 06: 41
          +5
          Quote: Sea Cat
          Well, these are still in pants. request

          Well, pants and pantaloons are two big differences !!! wink

          I am laughing!
          1. Catfish
            Catfish April 3 2021 06: 43
            +7
            Well, in, did not have time to breakfast, and already went pornography. laughing
            And, mind you, I didn't post it! drinks
            1. Krasnodar
              Krasnodar April 3 2021 06: 46
              +8
              More like pornography - a girl without a burqa ...
              1. Catfish
                Catfish April 3 2021 07: 16
                +8
                Absolutely! It would be much more decent in a burqa and without anything else. good
                1. Krasnodar
                  Krasnodar April 3 2021 09: 04
                  +4
                  I recognize Paris, the city of debauchery fellow lol
                  1. Catfish
                    Catfish April 3 2021 17: 10
                    +3
                    Yes, he also became Muslim. laughing
                    1. Krasnodar
                      Krasnodar April 3 2021 19: 57
                      +2
                      And will Le Penn's great-granddaughter be called Fatima-Ayuba?
                      1. Catfish
                        Catfish April 3 2021 20: 08
                        +3
                        If it goes to its ancestors, it is unlikely. smile

                        Captain of the Foreign Legion Jean-Marie Le Pen, his daughter looks like him not only in appearance, but France can only hope that the great-granddaughter will also be a great-grandfather with a grandmother.
                      2. Krasnodar
                        Krasnodar April 3 2021 20: 15
                        +3
                        Question. In the great-grandfather with the grandmother from which side? laughing I also did not think that my father-in-law would build churches in the villages of the Kuban)). Although, on the other hand, I was always an internationalist, and they considered me a Russian fascist lol
                      3. Catfish
                        Catfish April 3 2021 21: 12
                        +3
                        Albert, why did you receive the honorary title of "Russian fascist" ?! wassat
                        It's already scary to imagine. laughing drinks
                      4. Krasnodar
                        Krasnodar April 3 2021 23: 14
                        +2
                        For racist remarks towards Israelis of East European and North African descent.
                        In response to their horseshoes on the occasions of the Russian-speaking, of course)).
                      5. Catfish
                        Catfish April 3 2021 23: 56
                        +3
                        Like - "And where only the blacks with the Romanians will not crawl?" laughing
                      6. Krasnodar
                        Krasnodar April 4 2021 00: 31
                        +2
                        No, "Ethiopians", by the way, are quite cool guys, for the most part, normal, kind "village".
                        Romanians are also very adequate people, educated, vital, not arrogant
                        Like when the Russians launched a man into space, your Grandfather in Algeria launched his beloved sheep to mate with a thoroughbred Ram
                        The vassal of my vassal is not my vassal, but your great-grandfather, who was licking Russian boots, was cleaning shoes in Morocco.
                        When the Russians liberated Poland, they hadn't seen their wives for a long time - maybe your dad is my illegitimate uncle?
                        Ask your great-grandmother - if it was for money, you owe me
                        Etc.
                      7. Catfish
                        Catfish April 4 2021 01: 57
                        +3
                        Something after your words I was already drawn to the lyrics.))

                        "One educated vassal
                        Around the whole castle ... walked around,
                        And in the "Book of Complaints" he wrote,
                        That I didn't find a toilet. "(C) request
                      8. Krasnodar
                        Krasnodar April 4 2021 04: 08
                        +2
                        At the attache from Guadeloupe
                        Was a great skill
                        The seven-shot rifle
                        And three hunting sheepskin coats
                        Etc. drinks
                      9. Catfish
                        Catfish April 4 2021 04: 35
                        +2
                        "Seeing the enemy army in the field
                        The three musketeers sat down to eat,
                        And prepared to listen
                        How d "Artagnan will lie to them" (c)
                      10. Krasnodar
                        Krasnodar April 4 2021 05: 33
                        +2
                        Spring peasant triumphant
                        I put salt on the tip of a stick
                        And jackdaws were sitting on the branches
                        Longing for the warm sun.
                        Count Theodore is in trouble
                        Grabbed the countess by the cloak
                        She said escamil
                        I will not go to the bullfight.
                      11. Catfish
                        Catfish April 4 2021 06: 45
                        +3
                        "We have a butterfly on the water surface
                        Demonstrated by the virgins.
                        They swim forward and backward
                        Wiggle to the right, or to the left. "(C)
    3. Phil77
      Phil77 April 3 2021 20: 43
      +3
      I join, Konstantin!



      But only time is irretrievably lost. They simply will not be allowed to win. But here you can return to the epic with the ban on rallies, protests and other things. Who benefits from all these restrictions.
    4. Catfish
      Catfish April 3 2021 21: 08
      +3
      ... you can return to the epic with the ban on rallies, protests and so on. Who benefits from all these restrictions.

      The question is purely rhetorical and you know the answer. What is there, what is here. request
  • Kote Pan Kokhanka
    Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 06: 47
    +6
    Yeah!
    And the photo of the aunt who climbs under the skirt of the brave "Scottish" guardsman? laughing
    By the way, during the years of the Napoleonic wars, English sailors wore a pigtail !!! Fashion however !!!
    1. Catfish
      Catfish April 3 2021 07: 17
      +7
      So below Ivan popularly explained for this normal female curiosity. fellow
      1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
        Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 07: 34
        +5
        Quote: Sea Cat
        So below Ivan popularly explained for this normal female curiosity. fellow

        Cats are curious creatures too!
  • Korsar4
    Korsar4 April 3 2021 07: 39
    +5
    So the day is off. That would be Monday - you can be indignant.
    1. Catfish
      Catfish April 3 2021 08: 24
      +6
      Private Sidorov, on the other hand, has been thinking about this all week. smile
      1. Korsar4
        Korsar4 April 3 2021 10: 15
        +5
        It's a young business.
        1. Catfish
          Catfish April 3 2021 17: 11
          +4
          "Young people have a road everywhere" (c)
          1. Korsar4
            Korsar4 April 3 2021 17: 59
            +4
            "And we have seen the views" (c).
            1. Catfish
              Catfish April 3 2021 18: 05
              +4
              That's for sure! And not that happened. smile
            2. Korsar4
              Korsar4 April 3 2021 22: 05
              +1
              Nice landscape.
            3. Catfish
              Catfish April 3 2021 23: 59
              +3
              The sea is wonderful, I haven't been there for a long time.
            4. Korsar4
              Korsar4 April 4 2021 07: 13
              +2
              In August 2020, out of harm, we climbed into the Tatar Strait.
            5. Catfish
              Catfish April 4 2021 07: 28
              +1
              Why would the Tatars harm, than they did not please? laughing
            6. Korsar4
              Korsar4 April 4 2021 07: 43
              +1
              No harm done. True, young and smart taxi drivers did not go there.
            7. Catfish
              Catfish April 4 2021 07: 48
              +2
              So there are no trees, only water, and there are sharks in it. laughing
            8. Korsar4
              Korsar4 April 4 2021 07: 50
              +2
              There are rocks, the famous tunnel that did not converge.
              And when moving from Aleksandrovsk to Tymovskoe, it was impossible to call.
  • depressant
    depressant April 3 2021 09: 18
    +6
    Well, in, did not have time to breakfast, and already went pornography.
    And, mind you, I didn't post it!

    But he managed to venerate you with the vile departures of a person. Well, you, brutal peasants, cannot do without it! )))
    Well, okay, I'll follow along. I can imagine how the surroundings of the site of the Battle of Austerlitz were fertilized. Especially in places of ambush regiments and along the trajectories of escape of local residents.
    1. Catfish
      Catfish April 4 2021 00: 08
      +1
      But he managed to venerate you with the vile departures of a person.


      Error, Luda love and this is not me posted. request

      In general, my wife has a favorite anecdote about all sorts of human activities:

      "Women do not pee or poop, and that is why they make so much sound." (C) smile
      1. depressant
        depressant April 4 2021 01: 47
        +3
        Yes, there is a print error. Not to "you", but to the "topic" ...
        Eh, Constantine! ...
        My adolescence and youth passed in an interesting environment: a neighbor across the street, was a chicken lover; a neighbor whose plot was located just behind his house is a goat lover. Everyone knew everything, treated this indifferently, as an everyday occurrence, but no gray words about the various functions of human physiology! - no one ever said, because it was possible to grab. And no one pronounces them in the midst of ordinary people in which I find myself now. And only on the Internet I have the happiness and honor to contemplate them. However, not a reproach. It's good that there are no mats, this kind of stuff is excessive on the street - sometimes, outside the window. Plumbers can be heard swearing. And now, at 2 am, cats howl, I suspect - obscene.
        1. Catfish
          Catfish April 4 2021 02: 06
          +2
          Yes, there is a print error. Not to "you", but to the "topic" ...

          I noticed this and, of course, understood by the meaning that it was a typo. This is not what I meant.

          Your answer came to this post of mine, read it again and try to find something "... about the various departments of human physiology."

          Catfish
          Sea Cat (Constantine)
          5
          Yesterday, 06: 43

          +7
          Well, we didn't have time to have breakfast, but pornography has already started. laughing
          And, mind you, I didn't post it! drinks


          And as for any feces, it was right here:

          Krasnodar
          Krasnodar
          Yesterday, 05: 53

          +5
          Greetings, Konstantin! hi
          Already then they protested against the Arab dominance in Cologne!
          In fact, it is convenient. Sat down - pooped quickly. no need to take off pants - put on, ventilation is great fellow
          Reply
          Quote

          So you are assigning the undeserved laurels to me. smile
        2. Catfish
          Catfish April 4 2021 02: 11
          +2
          ... And now, at 2 am, cats howl, I suspect - obscene.


          Precisely, cats do not know how to yell censorship. smile



          Look at him, is it possible to give something pleasing to the censors with such a muzzle. laughing
          1. depressant
            depressant April 4 2021 02: 50
            +2
            Thanks for the collage, laughed ...
            But in fact, I was already asleep - from 11 pm, as if unconscious, I rushed to sleep! I woke up at one in the morning because there was not enough oxygen. The indescribable aroma of freshly rubbed and slightly warmed car tires burst into the open window. The distant track is noisy like the surf of the sea. And the powerful, lingering howl of cats on high notes, tearing apart the dead night like a police siren - so at first I decided. But no, cats. Such a peaceful time, which, perhaps, we will remember with nostalgia.
            1. Catfish
              Catfish April 4 2021 04: 02
              +1
              "Ports are closed, mouths are open, cats are yelling, jesters are joking,
              Cakes are flying, you laugh and you strive to Baden-Baden. "(C) smile

              The cat and I went to the terrace for a smoke. He, the viper, knows that I prefer to hold the cigarette in my right hand and settles in the chair under my left. That's how we smoke: in the right hand a cigarette and a tablet with something readable, and in the left scruff of a bosom friend. So we sit, as soon as I put out a cigarette, the cat gets up and to the door, we return together. We smoked. good
            2. Phil77
              Phil77 April 4 2021 07: 51
              +2
              Hi Konstantin!
              Yes, mine also loves * to smoke *. We go to the balcony together. wink
      2. Phil77
        Phil77 April 4 2021 07: 50
        +2
        Good morning Lyudmila Yakovlevna!
        Cats do not swear / this is a human misfortune /, cats have the whole gamut of feelings in tonality! laughing
        1. depressant
          depressant April 4 2021 08: 13
          +1
          Seryozha, good morning! )))
          Is this your soft, striped honey? ...

          Down there, a colleague Liam seems to be angry with us. What is it, they say, is it? This is not a section of History, it’s, they say, some kind of chat! Where is the story? It's time to cover up!
          And the story is that the troops of several armies are still moving towards the site of the coming battle of Austerlitz. Cannons still do not rattle, soldiers do not mow cannonballs, breaking, tearing bodies to shreds, horns and drums do not sound, calling to close the formation, and death does not fly over the battlefield, interspersed with clouds of smoke - everything is still ahead.
          And hundreds of thousands of soldiers, from different parts of Europe, pulling together to the place of their own death near Austerlitz and driving deep into the depths of alarming premonitions and fears, joke and laugh, telling different stories to each other on the way. They are still alive. And together with them we joke and laugh, pulling ourselves towards Austerlitz, we.
          1. Phil77
            Phil77 April 4 2021 08: 42
            +1
            Colleague Liam is too angry and serious, if he is looking for a purely professional discussion, then the flag in his hands and the most beautiful drum on his chest in search of those sites that he likes. And we are * polyberal * here in the good and original sense of the term. Our company is very good! No, the cat is not mine in the photo, but it looks like! Very similar to my Filipka.
          2. depressant
            depressant April 4 2021 09: 30
            +1
            Kitty ... Cat-kitty ...
            I watched a lot of videos on the Internet about how passionately different wild animals love a person - not as food, but as an object of adoration, showing an unaccountable, initially inherent feeling, as if supported by the understanding that a person is a semblance of God who created everything.
            So the morning came, the neighbors' cats went to bed, the neighbors themselves began to stir. I looked out the window, looked at the sky - peaceful, there is no Austerlitz)))
    2. Aviator_
      Aviator_ April 4 2021 15: 18
      +2
      And now, at 2 am, cats are howling

      Various wolves and jackals howl, and noble garbage cats arrange a spring song and poetry competition under the balconies of cats.
      1. depressant
        depressant April 4 2021 16: 10
        +2
        And what, this is a topic! Now I read it in Zen: if April 1 is the Day you yourself know who, then it is proposed to declare April 31 as Electorate Day. And since April 31 is not on the calendar, the holiday will be transferred to the 30th, and 31 is announced as a day off. Transfer is my suggestion.
        1. Aviator_
          Aviator_ April 4 2021 16: 16
          +2
          Very reasonably, in every possible way I support the undertakings. It is high time to decide for ourselves when what day and what name will come. And then they appoint different days from above, restrain the initiative of the masses. And as for cats - I respect them very much, but here recently, under my window at 2 o'clock, these mammals were sorting out their relationship - I had to disperse them with potatoes so that they could move away.
        2. depressant
          depressant April 4 2021 17: 29
          +2
          Those who shout about patriotism from high spheres cannot be dispersed with potatoes. They scream, they already cover their ears. About how they love us, and how we should love them in return.
        3. Phil77
          Phil77 April 4 2021 18: 01
          +2
          Oh yes! Here is almost a topic, but a very remarkable fact. Now I watch hockey, CSKA-SKA. They show a VIP box / I write especially with a small letter, I don't have the slightest respect for this * class! /. So, no one face in masks! So why the hell are we forced to wear them and at the same time be mercilessly fined for their absence?!?! am Either this type of mask * regime * was canceled, or it does not apply to them?!?! From their * love and care * it is already just sickening and disgusting.
        4. depressant
          depressant April 4 2021 18: 32
          +1
          Seryozha, I, for example, happily wore a mask all winter, and even now I do not take it off. She heats up! As for the VIP mug, they seem to have announced that the mask regime has been canceled in the Moscow province, and the demon of contradiction is pushing me by the arm - I won't take it off! In general, there are times when the mask is uncomfortable. You go down the stairs by crawling, because of the mask the steps are poorly visible, and if you move it, what's the point in it)))
        5. Phil77
          Phil77 April 4 2021 18: 41
          +1
          Lyudmila Yakovlevna! Yes, you take it off to the HELL! One harm from these rags for a healthy person. Any pulmonologist will tell you about this. They are needed for sick people, so that * exhaust * does not * fall on healthy people *.
          I don’t wear it! Tokmo at work, they demand, however. Otherwise, a fine. I’m a little about something else. Why do these * top * do not fulfill their own requirements? Hypocritical, deceitful, disgusting power. GRAY.
        6. depressant
          depressant April 4 2021 18: 57
          +1
          Oh, Seryozha, someone does not approve of you. In fact, hypocrisy and lies are the main properties of any government in any country. As a result, these characteristics do not say anything about power. It's like saying "the water is wet and the boiling water is hot." The main assessment of the authorities is the ability to ensure the strategic security of the country and the effectiveness of relevant actions.
        7. Phil77
          Phil77 April 4 2021 19: 05
          +1
          Ha, ha, ha! If there are friends, then logically there should be enemies?
          But if we return to our topic, then I think that all this fuss is nothing but a test. The test for controllability on a global scale and humanity did not pass it. It turned out to be very manageable and further various events are possible. Not for the benefit of people. Prohibitions on meetings, rallies, demonstrations and so on speak volumes about this, but there were no objections to the celebrations of the annexation of Crimea from the vile Rospotrebnadzor.
        8. depressant
          depressant April 4 2021 19: 18
          +1
          Seryozha, this is a serious conversation)))
          I propose to continue it in the debate to some article on a related topic. We will not let Vyacheslav Olegovich down)))
        9. Phil77
          Phil77 April 4 2021 19: 45
          +1
          I agree. Of course we will not let you down.
    3. Phil77
      Phil77 April 4 2021 19: 22
      +1
      And how do they, in your opinion, ensure the strategic security of our country? How can they provide something if their assets, their children are directly * tied * to the west?! How? In your opinion, could the decrepit Yeltsin appoint a decent person as his successor?! A priori NO .So do we have the right to expect from THESE reasonable measures useful to the country? We are rolling down. Irreversible. And this is a fact. Judging by our own pocket.
    4. depressant
      depressant April 4 2021 19: 46
      +1
      Seryozha, here you are stubborn! )))
      Well, I don't want to have such a conversation today. Moreover, on the topic of Austerlitz)))
      There are relevant topics on VO even today. But I'm a little tired of all this politician. At the same time, realizing that we, ordinary citizens, will have to develop some kind of joint strategy and tactics.
      I also understand that no matter what we have worked out, the authorities will immediately take advantage of this and so deftly turn everything in favor of world capital that we will only have to shrug our shoulders in bewilderment and shrug our shoulders, numb with confusion and thinking only of one thing: "What dodges! "
    5. Phil77
      Phil77 April 4 2021 19: 47
      +1
      So I kind of agreed to end this topic? recourse
    6. depressant
      depressant April 4 2021 20: 51
      +1
      Seryozha, stop wondering immediately!)))
      The state of bewilderment is not good for your health. Smoothly transition into a state of delight from the cute quirks of the coming spring. For example, I admire the kindness of nature, which, having melted a gigantic mountain of dirty snow, turned it into a lake that freely spreads between the houses, and for some reason did not flood the path that goes through this lake, and it, the path, looks like a bridge, stretched over a huge body of water. And not to say that the path was above the water level, but now - it is not flooded! And how can this be? It's amazing. I don’t remember that before this was in the spring, but there were more snows. Not otherwise, a miracle of the Lord)))
    7. Phil77
      Phil77 April 4 2021 21: 38
      +1
      Aha! And from under the snow traces of the life of four-legged pets appeared. Beauty! crying For me, spring will begin when the wipers put things in order on the street, there will be stable sunny weather and there will be * positive * weather day and night. Not earlier.
    8. depressant
      depressant April 4 2021 22: 43
      +1
      Well, in my suburbs, this is still far away))) The lake, it seems, is not going to leave, and in the summer we should expect reeds. The sidewalks are like water baths. The British ... You are reading about them now? I have heard that some of them froze to death while waiting for the bus at +5 degrees. There were also some amazing smog stories. Fireplaces however.
    9. Phil77
      Phil77 April 5 2021 06: 50
      +1
      Good morning Lyudmila Yakovlevna!
      No, it hasn't come to buses yet!
      I also have Queen Anne on the throne. laughing
    10. depressant
      depressant April 5 2021 07: 55
      +1
      Good morning, Seryozha!
      And you, it turns out, checked in on the Video yesterday. The topic only reached me this morning. It seems that someone shows me what he wants, and not everything that happens on VO. As if on a cart they bring me topics. Here, today they took it. Well, okay. Today I am not in shape, I am completely limp, spring is a bad time for me. I look out the window: someone is not very good either. Sits on his haunches near the house opposite on the shore of the formed lake, smokes weed, not leaving the place of sale in that house, brings Tajik dealers down.
      I'm not going anywhere today. And I don't know if I have enough strength to communicate.
  • Phil77
    Phil77 April 4 2021 18: 03
    +2
    How beautiful you have written! * Song and poetry competition *! Wonderfully expressed, I applaud !!! good good good
    1. depressant
      depressant April 4 2021 22: 49
      +1
      By the way, I also applaud Mr. Aviator for this phrase)))
  • kalibr
    April 3 2021 07: 14
    +7
    A rich girl though. I read the memoirs of German engineers who were restoring our factories destroyed during the retreat. So they were very surprised at the splendor of the busts of our ladies. We decided that it was from eating large quantities of sunflower seeds.
    1. depressant
      depressant April 3 2021 08: 28
      +8
      Rather from eating bread instead of meat. The body demanded protein from meat, it was given protein from bread. Either there was little meat, or the bread was delicious. Now the bread is such that you can't eat much. You won't eat paper, will you? Extensive busts on the street are not visible, there are moderate busts.
      1. kalibr
        April 3 2021 09: 25
        +5
        This is how the Germans decided. Not me.
      2. Korsar4
        Korsar4 April 3 2021 10: 16
        +4
        This is what only the female sex does not pay attention to.
        1. depressant
          depressant April 3 2021 10: 46
          +6
          Aha! And male, then, no? wassat good )))
          1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
            Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 13: 59
            +4
            Quote: depressant
            Aha! And male, then, no? wassat good )))

            Yes, we are poor if only the pieces of iron ... repeat
            1. depressant
              depressant April 3 2021 14: 06
              +6
              Vladislav, so glands or glands?
              wassat repeat ))))
              1. 3x3zsave
                3x3zsave April 3 2021 18: 51
                +4
                Oh wei! You might think that estragin has a different effect on the female body than testosterone does on the male.
          2. Korsar4
            Korsar4 April 3 2021 16: 01
            +3
            With men, everything has been clear for a long time. Food comes first.
            1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
              Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 16: 42
              +3
              Quote: Korsar4
              With men, everything has been clear for a long time. Food comes first.

              I ate, so I don't think about food yet! laughing
              1. Korsar4
                Korsar4 April 3 2021 16: 54
                +3
                How long are cats fed?
                Or so as not to look at the prey?
  • Van 16
    Van 16 April 3 2021 06: 16
    +11
    There is a story: once the queen asked the Scots "Is it true that you have nothing under your skirts?"
    smile
  • kalibr
    April 3 2021 07: 18
    +7
    In the drawing of the Highlanders in red uniforms, pay attention to the pistol (there was an article about them here) and the dagger - a typical medieval "kidney dagger".
    1. Catfish
      Catfish April 3 2021 07: 28
      +5
      ... pay attention to the pistol (there was an article about them here) ...


      Of course I remember that the grip of these pistols is difficult to confuse with something else.
  • Korsar4
    Korsar4 April 3 2021 07: 36
    +5
    Tolerant Constantine.
    But what about "The White Man's Burden."
    1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
      Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 08: 15
      +6
      Quote: Korsar4
      Tolerant Constantine.
      But what about "The White Man's Burden."

      My work colleague has a white cat - Persian. She washed it a couple of times already. In a literal sense, but she could not wean herself to sleep in the washing machine. laughing
      1. Korsar4
        Korsar4 April 3 2021 08: 18
        +4
        Probably cats have their own Darwin Prize.
    2. Catfish
      Catfish April 3 2021 08: 15
      +4
      The White Man's Burden.

      No pants and in Africa, unity with nature, so to speak. What kind of tolerance is there. laughing
      1. Korsar4
        Korsar4 April 3 2021 08: 19
        +4
        Have you changed the rest of your clothes to your phone?
        1. Astra wild2
          Astra wild2 April 3 2021 15: 44
          +2
          In fact, they are more likely not clothes, but yellow pebbles or the territory where there are such pebbles changed
          1. Korsar4
            Korsar4 April 3 2021 16: 07
            +3
            And now there is a beach.
      2. vladcub
        vladcub April 3 2021 13: 40
        +2
        Kostya, hello, actually in Africa and in the presence of such a beauty, I will cure out of my pants with a rocket
        1. depressant
          depressant April 3 2021 15: 21
          +5
          Come on! Will you fly out of your pants, peasants - in Africa? During the heat? Because of the heat and fly out! wassat )))

          Give me a beer, twice! -
          Men thirsty, thirsty.
          Give me more beer - I'm thirsty
          pour over soon!
          You will have beer, men,
          Will be once and twice
          with foam on top of filling
          the door will open in happiness ...
          Everyone will receive happiness
          complete happiness of beer.
          Just hope man
          just hope and believe!
          1. vladcub
            vladcub April 3 2021 16: 57
            +3
            Lyudmila Yakovlevna, yes you are a poet
            1. depressant
              depressant April 3 2021 17: 25
              +3
              Yes, it's just an impromptu wassat )))
              I saw the picture that Kostya posted, and then your comment, I immediately remembered how even in the subtropics of the Black Sea everyone suffers from the heat, and aborigines accustomed to the climate stick to the resting women)))
              Thanks for the flattering review, but I'm not a poet, I'm a joke lol , I'm a mocker)))
              1. Astra wild2
                Astra wild2 April 3 2021 18: 45
                +2
                I try to be ironic, but it turns out poorly
                1. Phil77
                  Phil77 April 3 2021 19: 54
                  +2
                  * Dexterity is required in everything,
                  hardening ,. training.
                  Otherwise, we will not see luck. *

                  Vera, everything is in your hands! wink
          2. Catfish
            Catfish April 3 2021 18: 17
            +2
            Good evening, Luda. love

            Just hope man


            There was such a song, Finnish, if I'm not mistaken. smile

            "A young lover came to his wife when her husband went for a beer" (c)


            "When my husband went for a beer ..." (c)
          3. 3x3zsave
            3x3zsave April 3 2021 18: 27
            +4
            you little men
            It's not the first time I've noticed, but now, I'm tired!
            Please let me be "framed", Lyudmila Yakovlevna. I, for all my buffoonery, do not call you a "woman".
            1. depressant
              depressant April 3 2021 18: 38
              +2
              She sprinkled ashes on my head! Repented! crying
              And ... And where did you get the idea, Anton, that I meant you? wassat )))
              1. 3x3zsave
                3x3zsave April 3 2021 18: 45
                +3
                And you, monks, Lyudmila Yakovlevna, deigned to generalize.
              2. depressant
                depressant April 3 2021 18: 57
                +2
                By the way !!!!! Not the first time ???? And where did I show myself like that? Did not have! Only today, once and then as a joke, which will never happen again because of my falling into bottomless despondency because of your unjust accusation!
        2. Catfish
          Catfish April 3 2021 17: 18
          +3
          Glory, hello. hi
          Why carry firewood to the "forest", there is also local exoticism above the roof. laughing
          And there are enough peroxide blondes on every corner. laughing
          1. vladcub
            vladcub April 3 2021 17: 23
            +4
            I don’t know mulattos do not excite me very much. Although this one is good
            1. Catfish
              Catfish April 3 2021 17: 27
              +4
              I understand you are confused by their lack of general secondary education. wink What to do, "each has its own drawbacks", drinks
  • Cowbra
    Cowbra April 3 2021 04: 59
    +10
    By the way, it was always so happy - Kolovrat from the Austrians, and from the Russians - Miloradovich winked
  • Undecim
    Undecim April 3 2021 08: 40
    +13
    The offensive plan was developed by Major General Franz von Weyrother. And here the question immediately arises: why is he?
    Because it was his direct responsibility as chief of staff of the allied army. When the previous chief of staff, Johann Heinrich von Schmitt, died, Kutuzov insisted that this place should be taken by Franz von Weyrother. Moreover, Kutuzov persuaded Weyrother to agree to take this position.
    In our literature they like to write about the fact that Emperor Alexander was under the influence of the Austrians. But why was he under it? For youth or stupidity? And why did not his retinue and those of his ilk dissuade him from this influence? After all, after Ulm, something was hard to believe in the general genius of the Austrian generals. And there were more Russians in the allied army than Austrians. But, nevertheless, for some reason, Weyrother ...
    Emperor Alexander was influenced by his own ignorance in matters of leadership of the troops and youthful enthusiasm. After all, Weyrother did not take the plan from the ceiling, he only summarized the results of the meeting on December 1, where both Emperor Alexander and all his generals and the Austrians were eager to fight in unison. Only Kutuzov appealed for caution, but no one listened to him.
    1. Astra wild2
      Astra wild2 April 3 2021 15: 30
      0
      "Kutuzov alone appealed for caution," probably for ethical reasons, nevertheless he recommended Weyrother, he cautiously objected.
      1. Undecim
        Undecim April 3 2021 17: 12
        +6
        No, not ethical. Ethics and military planning are two different things. Firstly, by that time Kutuzov had already greatly regretted his patronage.
        Secondly, apparently, despite the abundance of generals, as the author writes, there was only one commander among them - Kutuzov.
        1. Astra wild2
          Astra wild2 April 3 2021 18: 33
          +1
          Viktor Nikolaevich, although I "hang" on the site, I am purely civilian. Therefore, I comment on my knowledge
    2. Liam
      Liam April 3 2021 16: 31
      +1
      Out of interest, I read the thread. The only comment on the topic is yours (out of 85). Skirts, burqas, Africans, drawn beauties. Maybe it's time to close the section? ... some kind of pseudo-intellectual agony
  • 3x3zsave
    3x3zsave April 3 2021 10: 10
    +7
    and for others (editions of the Eksmo publishing house)
    I am terribly sorry, but there is a certain dissonance. And what are nowadays publishing concerns are considered experts in historical matters?
    Thank you, Vyacheslav Olegovich!
    1. kalibr
      April 3 2021 12: 32
      +3
      Quote: 3x3zsave
      And what are nowadays publishing concerns are considered experts in historical matters?

      I do not know. But in the book of François-Guy Urtul there are such references. So I won't give them ... And there will be someone who will say ... why don't you ... So, so that people have any conceivable information on this issue. Therefore, the figures are given and the source. And by the way, publishers attract very serious experts. For example, my book "Atlas of the Samurai" was edited by an employee of the Institute of Oriental Studies of the Russian Academy of Sciences. Nowhere is it written that the book of Urtul was also not read by serious experts.
      1. 3x3zsave
        3x3zsave April 3 2021 17: 37
        +2
        Mise Urtull (I will note, however, an interesting surname, by the way, not from the Lorraine French?), Very much trusts the "iconic" publications of different states. Apparently, the European habit is affecting.
        1. kalibr
          April 3 2021 18: 17
          +2
          Quote: 3x3zsave
          not Lorraine French?

          I don’t know about it, but I know that it’s absolutely impossible to check everything. Just recently I found an obvious mistake at Tarle's ... and this is Tarle!
          1. 3x3zsave
            3x3zsave April 3 2021 18: 31
            +2
            and this is Tarle!
            Tarle is biased like any person. Penguins will write the best history of mankind.
    2. Astra wild2
      Astra wild2 April 3 2021 15: 39
      +1
      "are considered experts in historical matters" now money is the main: "expert" in history. If a publisher thinks that a book with a certain content will make a profit, they will FORGET everything. At the same time, if a reputable publishing house, then they should take care of their image?
      1. Van 16
        Van 16 April 3 2021 20: 19
        +2
        "If the publisher thinks'

        You have touched upon a very large and very acute topic about our publishing houses. You know, if such a good writer as Alexander Gromov for 10 months cannot publish his book (read his own annotation to the book "Commoner"), if the books of Nadezhda Popova, Sergei Musanif are not published (this is only about science fiction, not talking about others genres), maybe something is wrong with the publishers? ..
        In general, this is a very separate, large and painful topic ..
  • Astra wild2
    Astra wild2 April 3 2021 10: 13
    +1
    "which, as you know," makes the king "in this case" made both the retinue and the king "
  • certero
    certero April 3 2021 10: 18
    +4
    Quote: Korsar4
    There was a time when I regularly reread War and Peace. I liked it right away.

    The book is interesting, just don't take it as a documentary story about the battle. It was in this part that she was criticized even then by the living participants in the events very strongly.
    1. Korsar4
      Korsar4 April 3 2021 16: 57
      +3
      Of course. But what best will convey the atmosphere and time.

      Through Tolstoy and Griboyedov, Moscow is alive.
  • Astra wild2
    Astra wild2 April 3 2021 12: 37
    +2
    "that Emperor Alexander was influenced by the Austrians." In all fairness, Alexander was constantly under the influence of the Germans. Remember the "Ful's plan" to drive the Russian army into a "mousetrap" in Drissa?
    Good afternoon, colleagues. Sorry, but Vyacheslav Olegovich decided to make me a boor. I comment without saying hello.
    You see what happens: I want to say so much at once
    1. kalibr
      April 3 2021 12: 54
      +3
      Quote: Astra wild2
      Sorry, but Vyacheslav Olegovich decided to make me a boor.

      Not understood...
      1. Kote Pan Kokhanka
        Kote Pan Kokhanka April 3 2021 14: 02
        +1
        A beautiful stranger, having read your article, Vyacheslav Olegovich, received so many emotions that she forgot to say hello! love
        1. Astra wild2
          Astra wild2 April 3 2021 14: 22
          +2
          You are absolutely right. I always try to say hello, and the SECOND one, because of Vyacheslav Olegovich, I forget to say hello, and this is already rudeness
          1. kalibr
            April 3 2021 16: 24
            +3
            Quote: Astra wild2
            You are absolutely right. I always try to say hello, and the SECOND one, because of Vyacheslav Olegovich, I forget to say hello, and this is already rudeness

            A-ah-ah! That's it. Alas, I'm becoming dull like a Siberian felt boot!
        2. Phil77
          Phil77 April 3 2021 14: 27
          +4
          Greetings Vlad!
          Is it ... is it ...

          laughing laughing laughing
      2. Richard
        Richard April 3 2021 22: 57
        +1
        Astra wild2: Sorry, but Vyacheslav Olegovich decided to make me a boor.
        kalibr (Vyacheslav):Not understood...


        Duel, gentlemen. Oh, how enchanting it is (s) laughing
    2. Phil77
      Phil77 April 3 2021 14: 39
      +3
      Aha, aha! If Alexander was under someone's influence, then this influence can be designated as his own cunning, or something more obscene.
      There was an evil ruler.
  • vladcub
    vladcub April 3 2021 13: 32
    +5
    Quote: Korsar4
    This is the pinnacle of Russian literature.
    It was not in vain that Myshlaevsky singled out from all the books.

    I don't remember literally, I think he said: "I read it because the gunner wrote"
    1. Korsar4
      Korsar4 April 3 2021 17: 02
      +3
      Something like this: "Because it wasn’t a rascal who wrote, but an artillery officer."
      1. Phil77
        Phil77 April 3 2021 17: 15
        +3
        Wonderful film! Great film adaptation! And the actors? Lumps! Real ARTISTS! I always watch this wonderful film.

        1. Korsar4
          Korsar4 April 3 2021 17: 33
          +3
          I agree. I watch excerpts regularly.
          1. Phil77
            Phil77 April 3 2021 17: 44
            +5
            I have always been interested in the image of Illarion Illarionovich Surzhansky. How do people of this type, sweet, touching, intelligent, but ... absolutely not adapted to life survived that hard times? How ?!

            And Sergei Ivanov / alas, the deceased! / Is magnificent in this role!
            1. Korsar4
              Korsar4 April 3 2021 18: 00
              +3
              As well as the Petliurists, they let him into the City with the bird.
              1. Phil77
                Phil77 April 3 2021 18: 15
                +3
                Well, how not to mention the assistant professor from * Run * here?

                The figures in their touchingness are quite comparable. The difference is only in age, isn't it?
                1. Korsar4
                  Korsar4 April 3 2021 22: 06
                  +2
                  Both similar and different.
        2. vladcub
          vladcub April 3 2021 17: 42
          +4
          I agree. Film beads. As Ilariosik said: "do not kiss, otherwise I am sick"
          1. Phil77
            Phil77 April 3 2021 17: 51
            +3
            Ha, ha, ha! What about Myshlaevsky's phrase?
            * Who is this here washing the floors with vodka? * laughing
            1. Korsar4
              Korsar4 April 3 2021 18: 03
              +3
              "- And how will you eat herring without vodka?" (with).
            2. vladcub
              vladcub April 3 2021 19: 20
              +4
              Basov - Myshlaevsky charm.
              In general, he is a POWERFUL actor. I can't imagine another Myshlaevsky
              Perhaps I am picky, but I put the film: "Running" below "Turbins" and "Walking" (latest version with: Alferova, Penkina)
              1. Phil77
                Phil77 April 3 2021 19: 49
                +4
                Svyatoslav, I don’t know who is the author of this phrase, but .. Better, right and you can’t tell !!!
                * Soviet actors play better and better every year! * And this is true. hi
                1. vladcub
                  vladcub April 4 2021 17: 38
                  +1
                  I agree and disagree: some of the actors seem to have "dimmed" over time, and for some time there is no decree. For example, Ilyinsky was a star for a little more cinematography, and then in the post-war years he remained a star, Rina Zelyonaya starred and shone for a long time, and Lyubov Orlova "weakened" in her last hair
                  Probably, a combination of terms would be more correct: actor, director and script.
                  For example, Lioznova in: "Seventeen Moments of Spring" selected wonderful actors, they are both created for these roles
  • vladcub
    vladcub April 3 2021 17: 39
    +4
    Quote: Korsar4
    Have you changed the rest of your clothes to your phone?

    Again, the insidious white people of color strive to deceive.
    For a couple of iron axes, they exchanged land.
    Now, for "old stuff" (judging by the appearance - like "Sonya" K 620 or K 6 & 0) they strip
  • Astra wild2
    Astra wild2 April 3 2021 18: 41
    +2
    Quote: kalibr
    Quote: Astra wild2
    You are absolutely right. I always try to say hello, and the SECOND one, because of Vyacheslav Olegovich, I forget to say hello, and this is already rudeness

    A-ah-ah! That's it. Alas, I'm becoming dull like a Siberian felt boot!

    If everyone was as "dumb" as you
    1. The comment was deleted.
  • Tavrik
    Tavrik April 6 2021 12: 46
    +1
    In our literature they like to write about the fact that Emperor Alexander was under the influence of the Austrians. But why was he under it? For youth or stupidity?

    Because he generally loved foreigners. And he preferred to deal with the arrangement of Europe, and not the empire entrusted to him.
    Like, my gray hair does not allow me to bend my heart and all that stuff ... But I didn’t do it. He preferred the role of a stupid campaigner, although he was the commander-in-chief.

    What are you? To expect such escapades from the wise old courtier MI Kutuzov ?? Only Suvorov could decide on this.
    And it only says that our generals, so brave on the battlefield, were more afraid of ... their own than the enemy.

    Well, of course. In the presence of two emperors to climb with your opinion and kill your career in the bud ?? "Do you consider yourself smarter than two emperors, since you question the decisions made by the Weyrotor they have appointed?"
    Oh well, nafig. "The giraffe is big, he knows better." repeat
    Some of the readers of VO complain about the paucity of sources on the topic raised.

    I recommend OV Sokolov "The Battle of Two Emperors". It is unlikely that anyone else will analyze Austerlitz himself and the whole war of 1805 in such detail as he did. Quoting French documents. There, by the way, Weyrother's disposition is given.
  • ikrut
    ikrut 9 June 2021 16: 54
    0
    Thank you. Very interesting! Even from school I remember about the Battle of Schöngraben and Austerlitz in War and Peace. But here it is more interesting, more detailed and colorful in terms of portraits and drawings.