Military Review

Wallace Collection Knight Armor

58

Wallace Assembly Building


Real knightly armor of the Renaissance. Today we will get to know them in the most detailed way!

“If I had not been wearing impenetrable armor, this villain would have shot me seven times as coldly as a hardened deer. It hit every seam of my shell with a longest arrow. If I did not wear Spanish chain mail under the shell, I would be uncomfortable. "
"Ivanhoe" Walter Scott

Museum collections of knightly armor and weapons. Today, personally, I have, let's say, a small holiday, which, I hope, will be a bit of a holiday for lovers of antiquity in VO. And it is connected with the fact that we are starting a new series "for life", which will be devoted to individual collections of knightly armor and weapons in museums in different countries. That is, it will be a story about the museum itself, where these items are exhibited, and about those of its exhibits that will be presented in the text as illustrations. No wonder it is said that there is nothing more interesting ... useless knowledge, because you usually rest on it. So here it will be told about the piles of completely useless, but remarkably beautiful ancient iron. And I promise that all the photos shown here will be ... very nice to look at. Well, then, what if one of us gets rich enough that he wants to decorate his house with real knightly armor - so there will be something for him to be guided by. And who knows, or rather, who knows his life path - maybe this will happen someday ...

Wallace Collection Knight Armor
Already the interiors of the museum are truly luxurious and contain excellent examples of applied art. For example, the Large Living Room. It presents a number of works by the French master furniture maker André-Charles Boulle

Well, let's start with the wonderful collection of armor of the Wallace family, which is usually called the "Wallace Collection" in Russia. It is located in a three-story mansion on Manchester Square in central London in the Westminster administrative district. And it was opened to visitors back in 1900, that is, it is already 121 years old, and all this time its treasures never cease to please the eye. It was collected by four generations of the Wallace family between 1760 and 1880 and today it consists of about 5500 objects of both fine and decorative arts of the 25th-XNUMXth centuries, a collection of paintings from the XNUMXth century ... Louis XV furniture, European and Oriental weapons and armor, Sevres porcelain, many canvases of various master painters - from Titian, Rembrandt and Rubens to Antoine Watteau and Nicolas Lancre. Moreover, you can visit the "Collection" completely free of charge, such was the will of the testators, who provided the collection to the full ownership of the state. Her treasures are displayed in XNUMX galleries. But today, since we have a military site, we will visit only one: weapons and armor.


From this sample, we will get acquainted with the armor of the Wallace Collection. Before us is a field armor made in the "Maximilian style" in southern Germany, c. 1515-1525 As you can see, this armor's shape and functionality go hand in hand. The steel plates have to fit very tightly to the body so that they create a kind of "exoskeleton". This technical requirement immediately translates such armor into the realm of sculpture, as it takes on an elegant and graceful silhouette of a slender human body. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London


These round plates on the armor that covered the armpits were called besagyu. And even here they are grooved so that ... the style of the armor is uniform. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

The customer wanted to get a unique armor, but so that it was no worse than others, and the master, of course, tried to please him. This armor, with its exquisite abundance of corrugated surfaces, is the finest of a series of samples of the "Maximilian style" in the Wallace collection. By the way, we recall that this style was born not without the participation of the German Emperor Maximilian I (1459-1519), who was both a wonderful knight and the greatest patron of the German Renaissance.


It is disassembled into separate parts. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

In the articles here on VO, it was already said that over time, the armor became so expensive that even kings could not afford to order 2-3 armor - one for ceremonial exits, another for combat, and the third for tournaments. So, more economical, let's say, "headsets" appeared, that is, sets of parts that made it possible, without altering the armor itself, to quickly change its functionality.


Here, for example, one such set by the master Kohlmann Helmschmid from Augsburg, approx. 1525-1530 (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

How to distinguish - is it combat armor or ceremonial? It's very easy. On the combat shell on the left (or right, depending on where to look) there was always a lance hook or stop, which made it possible to hold a heavy spear in his hands. This piece of armor is complex and can be folded.


Now look: the armor is combat, but how exquisitely and abundantly decorated it is. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

No wonder Kohlman Helmschmid is considered one of the greatest gunsmiths of all time, he created such elegant armor - downright clothes of polished metal. For generations, the Helmschmids were court armourers of the Habsburg emperors, the most powerful aristocratic dynasty in stories Europe. Their work can always be distinguished by the combination of technical excellence with the highest quality engraved and gilded decor.


The floral motif is very simple, but how exquisitely finished these patterns are inside! (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London


Piece of armor of the Landsknecht, Innsbruck, approx. 1520 (c) Wallace Council of Trustees, London

Not only knights wore armor at this time, but also landsknechts - hired soldiers from the German principalities. Their life was harsh, their morals were rough and cruel, and therefore they dressed provocatively, in the style of "lush and cut": clothes, distinguished by the study of cuts and tears received in battle, so that you can see the landsknecht (and understand who is in front of you!) could be from afar. But, as in the case of sailors and prisoners who covered their bodies with tattoos, the fashion for which even penetrated the royal palaces, the clothes of the landsknechts, in fact, the dregs of society, became popular in high society.


Imitation of cuts on the cuirass. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

So, even armor (!) With a complex and thoughtful decor, created by a combination of chasing, etching and gilding, began to be ordered "for the landsknecht". So this armor, and quite military, was made, most likely, for a nobleman, the commander of the professional infantry of the Landsknechts.


And here there is twisted metal, etching, and gilding. This armor cost a lot to the customer! (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London


Well, this one is already purely ceremonial armor of the Milanese master Lucio Marliani, nicknamed Piccinino (1538-1607). He made this armor somewhere around 1570-1590. Materials and techniques: very low carbon steel, gold, silver, copper alloy, leather, gold braid and velvet, embossing, gilding and blackening. Weight of the part shown in the photograph: 10,9 kg. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

It is believed that they belonged to Alfonso II, Duke of Ferrara, Modena, Reggio and Chiaxtres [Chartres], Prince Carpi, Count Rovigo, Lord Kommachio, Garfagnana, etc. Piccinino does not have signatures on them, but they are very similar to the armor made by him for the Duke of Parma, who are in Vienna. There is armor of his work in other museums, including our Hermitage.


Gorget: made of two main plates (front and back) and a high collar of three plates, fastened with a pin and a hairpin; upper - metal weaving of the "rope" type; the main part (in front) is decorated with an image of a Roman soldier, flower garlands and figures of two satyrs holding cornucopias, and (behind) a seated female figure holding a bowl of fruit, and satyrs playing on both sides; on the shoulders there are two loops for the shoulder straps. Such is quite peaceful, one might even say frivolous decor for this armor! (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London


Shoulder pad: grinning faces of satyrs, winged cupids, garlands of flowers - everything is woven into a whimsical pattern, as if saying: "Look, you see the hand of the master!" (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London


Just "pipes", here are the pipes and that's it - the British called these pieces of armor "tubes". Although there is another name: bracers, and all of them are hinged, and the inner part of the elbow pad is made in the shape of a heart, thanks to which it protects the bend of the hand well; and all these details are decorated with masks, figures, fruit garlands and ennobled with gold and silver. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

Usually, readers of articles "about knights" constantly ask questions about how much that weighs in a knight's armor. Well - the Wallace collection has done a similar study of one of their most beautiful Renaissance armor, by Pompeo della Cesa (c. 1537-1610) from Milan, c. 1590 (c) Wallace Council of Trustees, London


Here are the details of this armor. Material and manufacturing technologies: steel, gold, leather and copper alloy, etching and gilding. Weight: 3 kg helmet, 3,87 kg bib, 0,94 kg shoulder pad (left), 1,08 kg shoulder pad (right), 1,57 kg bracer (left), 1,38 kg bracer (right), 1,21, 0,93 kg legguard (left), 2,94 kg legguard (right), 0,61 kg grangard - patch armor (left), 0,35 kg gorget, XNUMX kg additional armor of the lower part of the bib (left). (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

If we consider armor not only as a weapon, but also as a system of signs, which, however, has always been clothing, then the most ... important message that the armor of the Renaissance contains is strength and beauty. Polished surfaces reflect sunlight, and therefore the armor directly radiates "divine power" bestowed by God himself on the knighthood.


"Where is the spear rest?" - experts will ask and they will be right. But you should take a closer look and see that he just was. But the holes for its fastening are screwed. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

Well, this power was demonstrated not only on the battlefield, but also in exquisite battles - knightly tournaments. Moreover, tournament armor was very different from combat. Or, additional details were made for the combat ones, which turned them into tournament ones. So the cuirass of this armor has two-layer reinforcement; it can be hit right at the gallop with a long heavy spear without injuring the owner.


In the armor, the entire left side is armored with additional plates, and they were fastened with screws. So spaced out booking was known even before tanks! (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

The breastplate is signed by the manufacturer POMPEO, which is a rare example of a gunsmith's signature.


Heroic style burger, Milan, approx. 1540. (c) Wallace Board of Trustees, London

Another way in which the European aristocracy reinforced the idea of ​​superiority was to establish connections between themselves and the heroes of ancient mythology and pseudo-history. For example, many Italian Renaissance families claimed descent from classical figures such as Hector, Achilles, and Hercules. In other parts of Europe, false family lines have been invented, dating back even to characters from the Old Testament.

As the Renaissance fascination with everything related to the Ancient World spread throughout Europe, artists quickly developed a complex language of appropriate iconography and design to visualize this modern communication with the distant past. For their part, the armourers developed an "antique or heroic" style based on a careful study of ancient Greek and Roman armor design, complemented by an admixture of their pure and sometimes completely unbridled imagination.


A wonderful example of knightly plate "gloves". Milan, Italy, approx. 1390 Materials: tempered medium carbon steel and copper alloy. Weight: 0,44 kg. Several pairs of such gloves are known: a pair at Kurburg Castle in South Tyrol, which closely resembles Wallace's pair, although perhaps a little more decorative. Even more luxurious is the pair from the Bargello Museum in Florence, which, in addition to the borders, also has four copper alloy ribs on the back of each glove, corresponding to the four metacarpals. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

Not only that, the rulers of the Renaissance revived the Roman tradition of the triumphal entrance, the showy parade of a victorious army. For such events, fantastically ornate armor was created, such as this embossed and gilded helmet, adorned with leaves and the grinning face of a forest spirit.

Many renowned artists and designers, including Uccello, Botticelli, Durer, Burgkmayr, and Holbein, have collaborated with gunsmiths, designing jewelry designs for rich armor and even helping to create completely new and highly original styles.

By 1500, an incredible number of different metalworking methods had been developed, and all of them were applied to armor. Some of them were very ancient. Others are completely modern. For those years, of course.

The basic forms of the armor could be enhanced by surface decoration. The acid etching process at the beginning of the 1485th century was completely new and allowed for the first time to decorate hard carbon steel with what at first glance looks like an engraving. But it must be remembered that the mechanical engraving of hardened and tempered medium carbon steel armor, while not impossible, was extremely difficult and time consuming. For most of the Middle Ages, engraving was usually done on strips of softer copper alloy or silver, which were then riveted to steel plates to form decorative borders. The invention of etching with aggressive chemicals in XNUMX (apparently in Flanders) made it possible to cover armor surfaces with patterns anywhere and not limit their area.


Burgonet. Back view. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

The main etching technique was to apply an acid-resistant coating called resist, based on wax or bitumen, to the metal surface to be decorated. Then the alleged image was scratched on it to metal, which was then immersed in an acid or etchant. The drawing thus “gnawed” into the plate, without any expenditure of heavy manual labor on the part of the master.


Well, this armor for the rider and the horse is considered a "highlight", or rather, a "pearl" of the Wallace collection. Perhaps they were made by Ulrich Rambs, a gunsmith from Germany, Landshut, c. 1480 Materials and technologies: iron, low-carbon and medium-carbon steel, leather, felt, canvas, wood and copper alloy: corrugation, perforation, notching, embossing, engraving, etching. The mass of the armor for a person is 27,161 kg. The weight of the armor for a horse is 30,07 kg. (c) Wallace Meeting Board of Trustees, London

This concludes our visit for today, but we will continue it to look at some more completely unique armor from this collection.

PS The author and the site administration would like to express their deep gratitude to the Board of Trustees of the Wallace Meeting represented by the head of the communications department Kathryn Havelock for the opportunity to use materials and photographs from the collection's funds.

To be continued ...
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  1. polpot
    polpot 24 March 2021 18: 03
    +10
    Thank you for the wonderful work of the old masters and the author of the article.
  2. Hunter 2
    Hunter 2 24 March 2021 18: 11
    +7
    Class good The second article by Shpakovsky for the day, Thank you ... increased labor productivity fellow Excellent illustrations, now I'll start looking closely!
    1. kalibr
      24 March 2021 18: 48
      +8
      Alexei! Performance depends on motivation, right?
      1. Hunter 2
        Hunter 2 24 March 2021 19: 10
        +7
        Mistake laughing Productivity is an indicator that characterizes the effectiveness, as well as the feasibility of an employee's work per unit of time. In other words, it is a numerical indicator of what can be produced in a given unit of time. The amount of work that the employee (the Author) has done over a certain time period is called production - it means that the production has increased, it is determined primarily by qualifications, education, experience. So Vyacheslav Olegovich works according to Stakhanovsky good bully From Us - Honor and Respect to you!
      2. Alien From
        Alien From 24 March 2021 22: 10
        +5
        The best vest - body armor) article in the bins hi
        1. Richard
          Richard 25 March 2021 21: 12
          +3
          Best vest - body armor

          Anatoly Wasserman disagrees with you smile

          And the State Traffic Safety Inspectorate considers its own - the best and most useful wink
          1. Alien From
            Alien From 25 March 2021 21: 52
            +3
            Well, here everyone chooses their own vest bully hi
  3. NF68
    NF68 24 March 2021 18: 14
    +6
    Chic products.
    1. WHAT IS
      WHAT IS 24 March 2021 19: 43
      +9
      I agree, they did it beautifully! Thanks for the author, the abundance of photos!
  4. Blacksmith 55
    Blacksmith 55 24 March 2021 18: 15
    +6
    Wonderful photos.
    Wonderful museum.
    And wonderful craftsmen who made such armor.
    Vyacheslav Olegovich, were you in the museum yourself?
    1. kalibr
      24 March 2021 18: 47
      +11
      No wasn `t. I haven't been to England yet.
  5. sifgame
    sifgame 24 March 2021 18: 31
    +6
    Good job, Shpakovsky too)
    1. kalibr
      24 March 2021 19: 01
      +8
      There will be two more articles related to this museum and its exhibits.
      1. Sandor Clegane
        Sandor Clegane 24 March 2021 19: 53
        +3
        Quote: kalibr
        There will be two more articles related to this museum and its exhibits

        it's great that there will be a sequel. I will wait +
      2. Alien From
        Alien From 24 March 2021 22: 12
        +4
        Intriguing author then ....... bully
  6. 3x3zsave
    3x3zsave 24 March 2021 18: 42
    +10
    Thank you, Vyacheslav Olegovich!
    1. Richard
      Richard 24 March 2021 21: 11
      +6
      Thanks for the great article.
      1. depressant
        depressant 25 March 2021 08: 04
        +4
        I join! )))
        We were especially pleased with the pictures with the armor disassembled and arranged in a row. Canned knight. Shelf life after opening on the battlefield is short. I understand that colleagues will be indignant, but I laughed heartily wassat
  7. viktor_ui
    viktor_ui 24 March 2021 19: 01
    +6
    We are waiting for the continuation! Vyacheslav RESPECT for a great selection. drinks
  8. tlauicol
    tlauicol 24 March 2021 19: 06
    +6
    Hurry to have already opened the border! There are so many interesting and beautiful things in the world!
  9. Flooding
    Flooding 24 March 2021 19: 28
    +3
    Milanese armor is beautiful.
    But isn't it painful for a combat one?
  10. Engineer
    Engineer 24 March 2021 19: 29
    +8
    A good article, but for some reason the author, having told about the gorgets and about the shoulder pads, did not mention helmets at all except for the ceremonial burgonet-bourguignot.
    Two upper helmets for armor - "arme" - the pinnacle of development of European helmets.
    On equestrian armor at the very bottom - salade with beevor
  11. Catfish
    Catfish 24 March 2021 19: 55
    +11
    Usually, readers of articles "about knights" constantly ask questions about how much that weighs in a knight's armor.

    For example, the tournament armor was simply not lifted at all, I tried to try it on, but was dissuaded in time. smile

    Thanks to Vyacheslav for the excellent article. good drinks
    1. Richard
      Richard 24 March 2021 21: 13
      +18
      Dear colleagues, let me deviate a little from the topic - today marks the 74th anniversary of the competent and competent commentator of the "History" and "Armament" sections, and just a wonderful person Konstantin "Sea Cat"
      Happy Birthday drinks
      1. Catfish
        Catfish 24 March 2021 21: 29
        +17
        Thanks, Dima. smile
        1. Nikolaevich I
          Nikolaevich I 24 March 2021 23: 03
          +12
          Constantine, no words! Congratulations! Joy fills all progressive humanity! I want to sing and dance! ...

          1. Nikolaevich I
            Nikolaevich I 24 March 2021 23: 11
            +8
            PS Be healthy and playful, like those "shots" that you will see! wink
            1. Catfish
              Catfish 24 March 2021 23: 59
              +10
              Thank you, Volodya! drinks Laughed heartily. laughing

              1. Nikolaevich I
                Nikolaevich I 25 March 2021 08: 59
                +4
                Glad you liked it! And this is a little for dessert ...
              2. Hunter 2
                Hunter 2 25 March 2021 09: 06
                +3
                Sea Cat (Constantine) ... I repent repeat missed yesterday Congratulations on your birthday, but ... better belatedly!
                I wish you good health and less hardships in life!
                Don't lose Your sparkling Humor in the comments! hi drinks
                1. depressant
                  depressant 25 March 2021 09: 43
                  +5
                  Konstantin, congratulations again! love )))

                  Who served in the Navy
                  And he went on hikes;
                  He shed a lot of sweat
                  I learned a lot ...

                  Service at sea is not easy
                  Storm, storm and hurricane ...
                  And it saves everyone there - friendship,
                  With her ... the ocean is powerless!

                  Any pitching is not scary,
                  If a faithful friend is nearby;
                  He will help in an hour of fever ...
                  Confused, since - suddenly!

                  When the deck leaves
                  Running away from under the feet;
                  He doesn’t leave you,
                  So ... you're not alone!

                  Vladimir Zhukov.
                  1. Catfish
                    Catfish 25 March 2021 14: 57
                    +3
                    Good poetry, thank you, Lyudmila. love

                    Although I didn’t serve in the navy, I dabbled in diving boats in two seas, and what was not there. smile drinks
                2. Catfish
                  Catfish 25 March 2021 14: 55
                  +3
                  Thank you, Lyosha. smile
                  A kind word and Kotu is pleased whenever it is said. drinks
    2. Pane Kohanku
      Pane Kohanku 25 March 2021 10: 30
      +7
      I tried to try it on, but dissuaded me in time.

      Uncle Kostya, at one time you tried on a T-54 - it was cooler than armor. laughing Nice article, nice forum. drinks
  12. Undecim
    Undecim 24 March 2021 20: 07
    +7
    Well, this armor for the rider and the horse is considered a "highlight", or rather, a "pearl" of the Wallace collection. Perhaps they were made by Ulrich Rambs, a gunsmith from Germany, Landshut, c. 1480 g.
    Really "zest", about which you can write a separate article in the genre of "detective".
    In the form in which the armor is presented today, it is assembled from parts that were made by at least four different craftsmen, possibly more.
    Before Wallace, the armor belonged to the famous French sculptor and collector Emilien de Nieuwerkerk.

    This is how the armor looked in 1868.

    And this armor is already in the Wallace collection, 1890.
    1. Undecim
      Undecim 24 March 2021 20: 30
      +5
      In 1956, the armor was "removed from the horse" for reconstruction.

      The photo clearly shows that the cauters (protection of the elbow joints) for the right and left hands are from different sets.
  13. Astra wild2
    Astra wild2 24 March 2021 20: 12
    +7
    Thanks to Vyacheslav Olegovich for the tour of the Wallace Museum.
    Beautiful armor, but I would like more: a story about the owners of this armor, or even a short story about the masters. They deserve it
    1. Undecim
      Undecim 24 March 2021 20: 25
      +9
      I would like more: a story about the owners of this armor, or even a short story about the masters
      This requires the elaboration of very serious amounts of information in at least four languages ​​and presentation in the fifth. There is practically no information about many craftsmen who are credited with creating armor, as the semi-legendary Ulrich Rambs mentioned in the article.
  14. Astra wild2
    Astra wild2 24 March 2021 20: 20
    +4
    "for a nobleman, commander of the professional infantry of the lakdsknechts," he probably decided to differ from his army, or rather the gang, only in expensive armor
  15. north 2
    north 2 24 March 2021 20: 51
    +6
    a gorgeous article worthy of the masterpieces of the masters shown in it!
  16. Nikolaevich I
    Nikolaevich I 24 March 2021 21: 01
    +5
    1.In the armor, the entire left side is armored with additional plates, and they were fastened with screws. So spaced armor was known even before tanks appeared!
    Well. here it would probably be appropriate to use the expression:enhancing armor by shielding !
    2. That would be for everyone to see the armor of Henry VIII!
    1. kalibr
      25 March 2021 06: 43
      +5
      Quote: Nikolaevich I
      That would be for everyone to see the armor of Henry VIII

      Will be. This is not a problem at all!
      1. Nikolaevich I
        Nikolaevich I 25 March 2021 08: 23
        +2
        Perfectly! fellow Thanks in advance and waiting for the next pleasure! hi
  17. Richard
    Richard 24 March 2021 21: 04
    +6
    There is no original author's "business card" of the poetic epigraph, but from the magnificent illustrations it is so easy to guess the authorship - Vyacheslav Shpakovsky.
    Gorgeous material.
  18. Mark kalendarov
    Mark kalendarov 24 March 2021 21: 24
    +5
    The article is very interesting. Thanks.
    But!!!! To talk about the presented, and other, armor "useless" is not very tactful and not at all noble!
    For everything has its own measure and time!
    Imagine, in the future, in the century of beam, impulse and other weapons, they will say: the Russians won the Second World War with their useless weapons and useless equipment ... This is wrong.
    Something like this. All the best!
  19. Konnick
    Konnick 24 March 2021 22: 18
    +6
    Thank you for the article)
    Heroic style burger, Milan, approx. 1540. (c) Wallace Board of Trustees, London

    Many have seen, but not named correctly

    This is a condottiere, with a heroic face, Bartolomeo Colleoni (1470-1475), starred with Nikulin and Evstigneev in the film "Old Men-Robbers" laughing plaster copy of the sculpture by Verrocchio.
    1. saygon66
      saygon66 25 March 2021 00: 38
      +4
      - Colleoni ... A remarkable biography of a person! In our boring time, this does not happen ... request
  20. Nestor Vlakhovski
    Nestor Vlakhovski 24 March 2021 23: 42
    +2
    The eye is pleased with both the excellently preserved armor and the museum itself, which looks elegant and tempting.
    Looking at the plate armor in detail, I still cannot understand how it is articulated, how it was put on, how it was necessary to move in it. For example, massive shoulder pads in some illustrations clearly restrict forward and backward movement of the shoulder.
    1. kalibr
      25 March 2021 06: 46
      +5
      Articulated autumn is simple: all the plates are connected from the inside by leather straps on rivets. At the same time, they go one on top of the other. There are straps and buckles on the back ... I'll have to show the photo from the inside somehow ...
      1. Nikolaevich I
        Nikolaevich I 25 March 2021 08: 24
        +4
        Quote: kalibr
        It will be necessary to show the photo from the inside somehow ...

        Great idea ! good
        1. saygon66
          saygon66 25 March 2021 16: 38
          0
          - Seen in 4 and 12 pictures ... Neck protection. Roughly done ... even for a horse ... or are these the consequences of restoration!
      2. depressant
        depressant 25 March 2021 18: 09
        +3
        I remembered for a long time what the set of knightly vestments in photo N2 reminds me of. A vestment that looks menacing on a person and is so childishly helpless when disassembled. Handles ... Legs ...
        And cunning memory prompted!
        On C-3PO from Star Wars! But the formidable droideka does not pull from there)))
        Colleagues, I'm sorry, I'm just having fun on the occasion of the first sunny day of spring laughing good )))))
  21. depressant
    depressant 25 March 2021 10: 24
    +5
    From Vyacheslav Olegovich:
    Well, then, suddenly one of us gets rich enough to want to decorate his house with real knightly armor - so he will have something to be guided by. And who knows, or rather, who knows his life path - maybe this will happen someday ...


    And my thought, leaving the sinful earth, flew into the empyrean impossible for me. A country house, park alleys ... Service workers drag a huge wooden box into the living room, unpack it, shake off plastic crumbs, and here he is, a knight! Shines with armor. Shaking off the sticky balls from his shoulder in a businesslike manner, I say with a smile: "I will call you Iron Felix, my valiant knight!"
    And in the evening I have an appointment. Guests in tailcoats and long dresses according to gender or how it turned out. Glasses are clinking, champagne is foaming, jokes, laughter ...
    And suddenly ... a crash!
    “Don't worry,” I say, but I'm worried myself. “It was Iron Felix who fell. I'll go and pick him up. But the guests are frightened and out of order, shouting: "Don't lift it! Don't lift it! And in general, it's time for us!"
  22. Mihaylov
    Mihaylov 25 March 2021 11: 23
    +3
    Well, then, what if one of us gets rich enough that he wants to decorate his house with real knightly armor

    Here, right on the sick: the childhood dream of his own medieval castle, filled with armor, it seems still not to come true ... hi
    1. Nikolaevich I
      Nikolaevich I 25 March 2021 13: 05
      +2
      "No guys ... I'm not proud! I agree to a medal!" What are the dreams of a castle !? I would like to buy a dacha in the southern end not far from the sea! crying
      1. Mihaylov
        Mihaylov 25 March 2021 15: 06
        +2
        Quote: Nikolaevich I
        I would like to buy a dacha in the southern end not far from the sea!

        On the French Riviera, not far from the sea in warm regions, there are probably castles for sale ... hi
        1. kalibr
          25 March 2021 18: 11
          +2
          Quote: Mihaylov
          On the French Riviera, not far from the sea in warm regions, there are probably castles for sale ...

          I can recommend a better place for a cheaper price! I was, I looked ... but cheaper, too, not in my pocket. I don’t know about you.
  23. faterdom
    faterdom 25 March 2021 19: 18
    0
    Military spending sometimes did not take up 2% of GDP at all.
    Some armor of the Duke of Ferrara cost 2-3 annual budget, and after all, the army must be maintained, the horses must be fed, the trebuchets must be crafted, and even the ships.