Results of the week. "Do you have brains or kyu in your head?"
Part I. "Man must be protected from man"
"Clogs" interfere with the work of "Roskosmos"
The debriefing on the fact of the next failure of the launch of the Proton-M rocket into the satellite orbit was short-lived. After appeals of the Russian prime minister, it was urgent to find those responsible for the cosmic accident and to punish about those, the perpetrators were immediately found and, strictly speaking, punished. It is strange that they were not welders and technicals, as was assumed in the previous "Results" ... Now 63-year-old Vladimir Nesterov, who headed the Khrunichev Space Center, turned out to be the lamb for the slaughter. And who else could have been called guilty, if recently Dmitry Medvedev himself openly criticized Nesterov’s activities in his post?
It is worth recalling that the Proton-M carrier rocket, equipped with the Briz-M upper stage, could not bring the Express-MD2 and Telcom-3 satellites into the given orbit. In this regard, an urgent meeting was convened, in which the task was set to find out the cause of the failures and find the person who should answer for these failures. While the causes of the space failure were clarified, it was reported that the Indonesian specialists who had manufactured Telcom-3 unexpectedly contacted their “brainchild” to communicate ... In Roskosmos, apparently, they immediately interrupted the search for ideas about who was to blame and what to do, and immediately fixed their eyes on the starry sky, in which the Indonesian Telkom-Xnumx wandered somewhere lonely. Everyone hoped that if it was possible to establish communication with the spacecraft, it means that one can no longer talk about failure, and even vice versa - rely on quarterly bonuses. But the Indonesian partners disappointed the Roscosmos management, saying that they managed to get in touch with the satellite, but the connection was such that “you don’t understand my mine”, since the satellite is not in the calculated orbit, but somewhere else.
After that, "Roskosmos" had to return to the search for the guilty and determine the causes of failure. At the end of the long and debilitating debates, the head of Roscosmos, Vladimir Popovkin, announced that he, he says, knows what caused the accident. It turns out that the whole problem is in the blockage ... The fuel tank path is clogged up - here are the satellites and hovering somewhere in the cosmic depths. At the same time, Popovkin stated that it was not he himself who came to this conclusion, but the commission, which somehow managed to make its extremely accurate diagnosis in just a few days. In this regard, the question arises, why did not any other commission before the launch of the carrier rocket with the booster module come to the conclusion that this very path might be clogged with something? .. It would seem that this question will remain unanswered, but Vladimir Popovkin found the answer here.
It turns out that in order for accidents to stop pursuing the Russian astronautics, you need ... no, do not talk domestic ships from damage and the evil eye, but simply turn Roscosmos into a state corporation ... Popovkin is sure that the root of evil is that the state is still Roscosmos is not too actively taking its wing. Like, have a look at Rosatom, which has long been a state corporation - there is silence and grace, but what about us? Sorry, mess-with ...
Or maybe suggest to Vladimir Popovkin to take and rename “Roscosmos”, so that things go more successfully. There are many options: for example, the State Space Agency is just one letter to paint, but the meaning is completely different: closer to the state, closer to the budget ...
Tomatoes on the march
A remarkable event was noted by Moldova. In the so-called “northern capital” of the country, the city of Balti, in which about 20% of ethnic Russians and the overwhelming majority of Russian-speaking and Orthodox citizens live, gave permission for a rally to pro-Romanian unionists. At the same time, the city authorities, with the help of the court, tried to prevent the march, which called on the local population to unite with Romania and unconditionally condemn the "hated influence of the Russian minions." However, the "march of millions", organized by the movement "Actiunea 2012", the court allowed.
On the one hand, it may seem that all democratic norms are thus observed: every force in a democratic country of Moldova has the opportunity to express its own point of view. But in this case the march turned out to be a pure provocation.
The speech, the main slogans of which were approximately the following: “Down with the occupiers!” And “Russians, go back to Siberia!”, Undoubtedly, became the apogee of adhering to the principles of democracy, with which new Moldovan leaders came to power.
If you make any analogies, the march of unionists in Balti could resemble a hypothetical procession along Yuzhno-Kurilsk for supporters of the annexation of the Kuril ridge to Japan or speeches in, say, Petrozavodsk with calls for all Russians to be expelled and made Karelia part of Finland. According to its resonance, the events would be approximately the same scale.
For understandable reasons, the local people did not let the "inhabitants" turn around in Balti for the supporters of the idea of integration with Romania, suffering from blatant mania of Russophobia. A variety of gifts from peasant farmsteads, from tomatoes to eggs, many of which have badly spoiled the speakers with both their posters and civilian costumes, flew into the people chanting “Bessarabia is part of Romania!” The eggnog warmed up the crowd in such a way that even police units and special forces groups that arrived from different cities of the republic could not prevent skirmishes in Balti.
Now the Moldovan authorities are trying to find those responsible for street clashes. And it is very likely to assume that the perpetrators will be found, and only among those who tried to prevent the march, on which there were calls, giving a painful revanchism. This is a winning democracy ...
“Mortal Kombat” in Russian: Federal Drug Control Service against FSB
This week it was reported that from November of this year on 1 every employee of the FSB, all candidates for Chekist posts, as well as civilian personnel of the department will undergo an indispensable test for possible use of narcotic drugs. In this case, the test will reportedly be carried out by several methods: “intake of liquids” and “polygraph”.
Why exactly today the idea of posherstit "fighters of the invisible front", is not reported. But, as you know, there is no smoke without fire ... Did any of the vigilant Muscovites pass by the world famous building in Lubyanka, catch with their delicate sense of smell the smell that recently caught more and more in the nightclubs of the capital? And maybe some kind of overly suspicious pharmacist decided to go on the principle “it’s better to be outnumbered than to finish it,” selling the prescription Kodelak and Pentalgina forbidden pills without a prescription to a person with a “crust” of the FSB major ...
As a result, the long clawed hands of the anti-drug committee reached out to the holy of holies - the Federal Security Service of Russia. Now the life of thousands and thousands of employees led by Alexander Bortnikov can turn into a nightmare. Just imagine: Alexander Vasilyevich comes to his job, and they say to him: “Let's go to the liquid intake”. The head, of course, will try to argue in response, what, they say, fence, because today I didn’t even have time to drink tea, but it wasn’t ... subordinates who are already undergoing the test procedure on the "polygraphs" of the latest models. After the phrase of the “polygraph” itself, “You will tell me everything, a hidden drug addict!” Many FSB generals lose their legs, and the generals of these are urgently hospitalized in city hospitals ...
Let's not forget that the use test will affect not only officers and applicants, but also civilian “employees”. Well, how many Tajik masters who lay tiles in the courtyards of the regional centers of the Federal Security Service may suffer from such an aggressive policy of the anti-drug service? ..
So, FSB officers and applicants for such important positions should be immediately warned: no, you know, poppy seed buns, no herbal infusions, no fungus trips for the whole family: you never know that these “fluid intakes” along with “polygraphs” will show, then from Federal Drug Control Service is not a wrench ...
"I will drive a bicycle for a long time ..."
A few years ago, it was safe to say that if you wear earrings and allow yourself to ride a bike, then you are clearly not a North Korean woman. The fact is that, according to the sacred laws of this country, not a single self-respecting representative of socialist society will pierce her ears and insert metal objects into them, and especially will not lead to the sinful thoughts of North Korean men driving around the streets of Pyongyang and other DPRK cities in a skirt on a bicycle. However, times are changing, old Kims are leaving, New Kims are coming, and therefore literally epochal changes are observed in the DPRK, including women.
If someone today happens to see a DPRK citizen spinning a bicycle on the Pyongyang-Wonsan highway, sparkling with earrings in her ears, he should conclude from this picture that Kim Jong-un has already gone to meet the propaganda decaying West sexual revolution.
Kim, who is the third, except for lifting the ban on women's cycling and lifting the ban on wearing jewelry, decided to go even further and resolved what is considered to be the real symbol of the North Korean self-respecting hero, namely jeans.
If things continue to continue at the same pace, then soon it will be possible not to be surprised if Kim-son himself (he is Kim-grandson) appears in front of television and cameras in stars and striped shorts embroidered with Mickey Mouse. The corrupting influence of the West got the same and to the main stronghold of world socialism ...
Let us hope that at least the phrase “Pyongyang gay parade” will not be translated into reality. But the world today is so complicated, so great-aaaa-tive ...
Father Ivan and his party
From now on, the actor and, on a very rare combination, the priest Ivan Okhlobystin became the most right-wing politician in Russia. During the week, Ivan Ivanovich headed the supreme council of the Right Cause political party. But how can this be so, ”the savvy reader will say,“ for it seems that representatives of the church are forbidden to engage in politics, because de jure politics is still separated from the church. But can it really put the star of TV shows and the father of many children Okhlobystin? Of course not! Ivan made a move that some well-known politicians had already done before him in our country - he seemed to be in charge of the highest party council, but he did not join the party itself. But this option, it turns out, is quite acceptable for a priest who is forbidden to serve.
In this regard, already in the next regional elections, the face (otherwise it’s impossible to say here) Ivan Okhlobystin can take a central place on the propaganda posters of The Right Cause, which should call on Russians to come to the polls and vote on this particular party.
If we consider that not so long ago such a person as Mikhail Prokhorov was listed among the leaders of the “PD”, then it becomes somehow scary for the party line. That in heat, then in cold party members throws ...
The billionaire, who advocated mainly for carnal blessings, gave way to a man called to sow faith in spiritual blessings. In the party, as you can see, the political course cannot be settled in any way: where should its supporters go after all - to rely on the powers of heaven or to remain with two feet on the sinful Earth ...
Part II. "Ideas can only be rendered harmless by ideas."
“Glory is a disadvantageous product. It is expensive, remains bad "
The Holy Trinity
Punks from the "Pussy Riot" Khamovnichesky court gave two years to the colony. However, a harsh court decision can be appealed. It is unlikely that scandalous girls will serve two years, especially since two of them have small children, and the second court will certainly take this circumstance into account. However, in this article there is no place to discuss whether the sentence is too harsh or, on the contrary, fair.
Exaggerated, genuine geopolitical attention to the three girls nagged in the temple caused a whole epidemic of imitation "pussies" throughout the world. Under the guise of a struggle for freedom and democracy, numerous protesters from different countries, pulling on their dresses (or, on the contrary, removing them) and wearing balaclavas or stockings-nets on their heads, proclaimed their life-trying ideals.
In Kiev, the party-goers from “Femen” in the name of “PR” sawed down a wooden cross at the October Palace, over the Maidan Nezalezhnosti (by mistake "Reuters" it was reported about cutting the cross to the victims of Stalin's repressions, but that cross is a stone one). Feminists threw the cross, established during the Orange Revolution 2004-2005, calling "all the sound forces of society mercilessly sawed rotten religious prejudices from the brain, serving as a basis for the dictatorship and hindering the development of democracy and women's freedom."
In the Finnish capital, too, there is a struggle for freedom of "PR", which is headed by a professor of world politics at the University of Helsinki Teivo Teiweinen. Under the supervision of a freedom-loving teacher a few girls repeated punk prayer "Pussy Riot", being on the porch of the Assumption Cathedral. Finnish punks tried to pour urine from the canister in the temple, which they brought with them, but they were not allowed to take shit in the church, they simply did not let them go. On August 15, the action of the hot Finnish supporters of Pussy Riot was held in front of the Russian Embassy in Helsinki: three women in balaclava undressed, demanding the release of the defendants.
In Germany, against the verdict "PR" acted known for his open homosexuality Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle.
A wave of protection "pusek" has come even to Iceland. 11 August Jon Gnarr, Mayor of Reykjavik, put on a dress, put on a balaclava and, embodied in the image of the participant "Pussy Riot", rode by the city. He rode in the back of a truck on which a poster was attached: “Free Pussy Riot”. On the hood of the car there was another poster: “Gayor” (“Gay Mayor”).
Mr. Gnarr’s freedom-loving and democratic action was held in the framework of the traditional gay festival held in Reykjavik from 7 to August 12. "Gay Mayor" and previously demonstrated sympathy for LGBT. For example, in 2010, he supported gays and lesbians, speaking at the gay parade in women's dress and makeup.
17 protests of August, on the day of the trial, have passed at the Russian Embassy in London. In Paris, several dozen people spoke at the Pompidou Center. In Berlin, activists came to the rally with placards "Mother of God, Put Putin Out". One of the fans of “pusek” put on Vladimir Putin’s mask instead of balaclava. In Brussels, about a hundred protesters held a rally in front of the Russian representative office in Belgium. In Riga, Pussy Riot supported the 30 participants. They chanted: “Release, release!” And “Putin, release the girls to freedom, they have no place in your judicial system!” One resident held a banner: “The Russian Orthodox Church, you mixed up. Putin is not a god. ” In Melbourne, supporters of convicted punk girls made the inscription “Pussy Riot” out of candles. In Warsaw, 70 participants of the organization of the "Eighth of March" in balaclava met Patriarch Cyril and expressed solidarity with the "puskami".
By acquiring a geopolitical scale, the protection of the infringed rights of the “musicians” made them a good advertisement. Pussy Riot was supported by a large number of celebrities around the world, including rock musicians: Madonna, Sting, Peter Gabriel, Pete Townshend, Bjork, Franz Ferdinand, Red Hot Chili Peppers and others.
In Russia, PR was supported in Novosibirsk, Samara, Kurgan, St. Petersburg, Pskov, and other cities.
In Moscow, on the monuments to Pushkin and Lomonosov, the advocates of hooligans pulled colored hats-balaclava. Three boys tried to wear the same balaclavas on the sculptural group of partisans at the Belorusskaya metro station. This rotten youth was detained, and then the subway passengers were given to the police.
Other lovers of punk and western freedom desecrated a monument to Soviet soldiers in Sofia, pulling on the heads of sculptures are colored stockings.
So what did the pans from the "PR" teach their fans? If freedom, then from what?
And who is this in their defense? "Madonna"? Guido? Finnish professor with urine canister? Icelandic gay mayor, who put on a bra and women's dress? .. Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are!
One last thing: if the punks staged a riot in the church for the sake of self-promotion (expecting maximum punishment for 15 days), then they failed: after a year and a half, which the girls can spend in the colony, world democracy will simply forget them. Her memory is short.
Three meals a day
Bosnian minister knows how to beat the economic crisis
The Prime Minister of the Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Nermin Nikshich, found a reason to dismiss the Minister of Trade, Milorad Bahil.
To initiate the dismissal procedure - in the event that Mr. Minister does not write a statement “of his own will,” the prime minister wished because Mr. Bakhil gave direct advice to the citizens of the country on how to survive the constant increase in prices. That is what Bakhil was asked recently by journalists. And he answered with a sweet smile: "Save, do not eat."
Nermin Nikshich, having learned about such a specific message to the citizens, became angry in an interview with the Sarajevo radio station RSG said: “This cannot remain unanswered. It is unforgivable even if we say it as a joke. ”
Bahil in turn explained and before the prime minister, and before the general public: “On the contrary, I, as a minister and an ordinary person, with this incorrectly interpreted statement, clearly showed to citizens their vision of a difficult social situation, where people can save and not eat, because they have to pay for gas, electricity every month, water and other obligatory payments. ”
Dismiss the minister? wrong decision. On the contrary, the prime minister — the immediate superior — had to support the idea of his subordinate. It was necessary to immediately use the state informational radio and television channels, the Internet, and to start promoting the progressive ideas of the Minister of Commerce. And the ministers of Greece, Spain, Italy and other crisis countries in Europe should take an example from Bosnia.
However, in order for propaganda to work one hundred percent, the ministers would have to start implementing the anti-crisis idea from themselves. No, we are not inclined to advise the ministers from the ministries to immediately stop eating grouse and pineapples and go on a hunger strike. To begin, let them go on three meals a day - on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
By the way, this is the “three meals a day”, and then the mass hunger strike will be the direct factors of food glut in the country - right according to Marx. Storing along with falling demand will cause deflation and strengthening of the currency. From this point on, it will be possible to start eating again. Enjoy your meal!
Shark "swims" in the Gulf of Mexico
Russian submarine off the coast of America
In NATO, and especially in America, Russian submarines are so afraid that our “Pike” is dubbed “Shark”. And that is true: there are no pikes in the Gulf of Mexico.
It was just in this gulf that the Russian nuclear submarine of the 971 project “Pike-B” (which, by the way, can carry long-range cruise missiles), spent some time. For obvious reasons, the residence time of submarines in the waters of the bay is not precisely indicated: whether it is a month, or 5-6 weeks. Not in June she did some secret things there, not in July, but not in June and July, in the midst of the beach season. No one knows anything, as is usually the case with Russian submarines off the coast of America. And if not for Mr. Bill Gertz (not to be confused with Bill Gates), a journalist leading a friendship with the Pentagon and American intelligence agencies and collaborating with the electronic publication "Washington Fries Beacon" owned by the so-called "Center for American Freedom", the information about the boat in the Gulf would not have got into the press . Agree, not to learn about the Russian boat off the coast of the United States would be very sorry. So applaud comrade Hertz and his informants from the Pentagon!
The Americans learned that the Russian submarine spent a certain time in the Gulf of Mexico, only in fact of its departure home. Americans brought their advanced technology: radar responded belatedly. Maybe the Russians even purposely brought their boat to foreign radars - in order to hint at Romney’s aggressive words about “enemy No. XXUMX”, or at the wrong US policy in Syria. US officials only one admitted: “The fact that she was not noticed in the Gulf of Mexico is of concern.”
By the way, those Pentagon workers who do not make friends with Hertz know absolutely nothing about the Shark and the existence of a boat off the shores of a great democratic country is completely denied. For example, Pentagon spokeswoman Wendy Schneider said: “I don’t know what this information is based on, but it’s not true.”
It is possible, of course, that with the help of an amicable comrade, Hertz, the Pentagon campaigners simply invented a Russian nuclear submarine in the Gulf of Mexico - to ask Mr. Obama to increase or at least not reduce the defense budget of the Ministry of Defense. (And the budget for the construction of new warships for the Navy planned to cut on 1,3 billion dollars).
It is also likely that the Pentagon and the special services in full force, including B. Hertz close to them, were going to kill two birds with one stone. Composing the myth of the Russian threat, they gave Obama's rival Mitt Romney a trump card. Now Mr. Republican, for whom Russia is the number one geopolitical enemy, will be able to manipulate “Pike,” that is, “Shark”, who was dangerously close to the American coast, for electoral speeches, accusing Barack Obama alternately of weakness in foreign policy, then in pacifism and attempts to disarm their home country, then in entering the service of the Kremlin.
If the submarine in the Gulf is not invented, then it will be a trump ace in the Romney election pack.
The other day Mr. Republican is already He pledged the American army as many as one hundred thousand soldiers. Probably these one hundred thousand brave guys on warships (Romney always preferred ships tanks) after the victory of Romney in the elections, the vastness of the Gulf of Mexico will begin to plow, looking there for Russian submarines and Russian sailors, serving in full gear: from a bottle of vodka to a cap with earflaps. Or maybe one hundred thousand Romney warriors will go to the bay in the hope of finding Comrade Obama on one of the Russian boats, who treats Comrade Putin with his signature mead cooked on Pennsylvania Avenue, 1600.
Mead lover
About Obama and Romney
Sometimes we are surprised by the statements of the American president. Then he will tell about the Polish concentration camps, then about the fact that in America - 57 states, then blurt out about his uncle, who liberated Auschwitz, then openly support homosexuals, even in the Pentagon speaking on this slippery occasion.
But if you find out what Mr. Obama is doing in his residence and what he takes with him on election trips to a great democratic country, all questions will disappear by themselves.
The fact is that Mr. President has acquired with his own money and quite a while ago set in the metropolitan residence on Pennsylvania Avenue, 1600, a mini-brewery. He brews beer there not only to drink on the spot, but also to take with him.
Consume an alcoholic drink with him his wife Michelle. It also happens that Mr. Obama treats the beer of some honored person or voter. For example, last fall, an American sergeant who was awarded a medal for bravery drank with the president with the president. And this week, one of the residents of Knoxville in Ohio, where Obama met with voters, asked how things were going in the brewery, and the president presented him a bottle with the label “Honey Ale from the White House”.
Drinks Obama and colleagues. For example, White House spokesman Jay Carney recently admitted to journalists that he prefers light sorts of presidential beer: "I have tried only light, it refreshes normally."
All presidential beer on Pennsylvania Avenue is brewed with honey. Honey is extracted directly from the hive in the garden, dug up in the garden of the White House by the President’s wife. They say that Obama's mother-in-law is often seen in the garden. This company must be able to figure out for three. So it is not surprising that the number of US states after the next reception of mead in the main managing head of America begins to double.
Barack Obama’s rival in the upcoming fall elections, Mitt Romney, a Mormon, is hardly jealous of the sweet life of the incumbent. A lover of warships, if only he breaks into the presidency, is likely to offer clean water for “normal refreshment.” Statements about this - against the background of the election advertising of the Obama brewery - should be expected in the coming days.
Why do we think so? Yes, because Mr. Romney seems to us to be a man whose mind, alas, cannot give birth to his own ideas. Everything within the framework of the election campaign, Mr. Republican has cast his electors in the ears, is built on the ideas of the current president.
Judge for yourself. If Obama is a supporter of the development of alternative energy, then Romney the other day acted with the condemnation of the wind and the sun. The brewer's rival declared: having become president, he would save the USA from the necessity to buy oil abroad by the end of his second four-year term. The politician said: "We must use our own energy resources - our coal, gas, oil, renewable and nuclear sources of energy." Obama's initiatives, according to Romney, are detrimental to traditional energy, and at the same time lead to job cuts.
If Barack Obama plans to reduce the military budget and the number of the military, then Mitt Romney, proving “by contradiction,” plans to increase all this. If Obama believes that the defense strategy should be focused on the APR, Romney calls other foreign policy vectors concerning such enemies of the United States and world democracy as Syria, Iran and Russia. If Obama accepts some kind of social program, then Romney, already seeing himself as president (and for two terms), immediately declares her impending suspension. If Obama is in favor of homosexual marriage, then Mittu Romney has nothing to do but accept the opposite point of view.
In short, it is difficult to find in the statements of Mr. Republican something independent, born out of collaboration with Barack Obama. We venture to suggest: the problem of the poor in Romney's fantasy is that he does not drink.
* “Do you have brains or kyu in your head?” - a phrase from the movie “Kin-dza-dza!”
"Clogs" interfere with the work of "Roskosmos"
The debriefing on the fact of the next failure of the launch of the Proton-M rocket into the satellite orbit was short-lived. After appeals of the Russian prime minister, it was urgent to find those responsible for the cosmic accident and to punish about those, the perpetrators were immediately found and, strictly speaking, punished. It is strange that they were not welders and technicals, as was assumed in the previous "Results" ... Now 63-year-old Vladimir Nesterov, who headed the Khrunichev Space Center, turned out to be the lamb for the slaughter. And who else could have been called guilty, if recently Dmitry Medvedev himself openly criticized Nesterov’s activities in his post?
It is worth recalling that the Proton-M carrier rocket, equipped with the Briz-M upper stage, could not bring the Express-MD2 and Telcom-3 satellites into the given orbit. In this regard, an urgent meeting was convened, in which the task was set to find out the cause of the failures and find the person who should answer for these failures. While the causes of the space failure were clarified, it was reported that the Indonesian specialists who had manufactured Telcom-3 unexpectedly contacted their “brainchild” to communicate ... In Roskosmos, apparently, they immediately interrupted the search for ideas about who was to blame and what to do, and immediately fixed their eyes on the starry sky, in which the Indonesian Telkom-Xnumx wandered somewhere lonely. Everyone hoped that if it was possible to establish communication with the spacecraft, it means that one can no longer talk about failure, and even vice versa - rely on quarterly bonuses. But the Indonesian partners disappointed the Roscosmos management, saying that they managed to get in touch with the satellite, but the connection was such that “you don’t understand my mine”, since the satellite is not in the calculated orbit, but somewhere else.
After that, "Roskosmos" had to return to the search for the guilty and determine the causes of failure. At the end of the long and debilitating debates, the head of Roscosmos, Vladimir Popovkin, announced that he, he says, knows what caused the accident. It turns out that the whole problem is in the blockage ... The fuel tank path is clogged up - here are the satellites and hovering somewhere in the cosmic depths. At the same time, Popovkin stated that it was not he himself who came to this conclusion, but the commission, which somehow managed to make its extremely accurate diagnosis in just a few days. In this regard, the question arises, why did not any other commission before the launch of the carrier rocket with the booster module come to the conclusion that this very path might be clogged with something? .. It would seem that this question will remain unanswered, but Vladimir Popovkin found the answer here.
It turns out that in order for accidents to stop pursuing the Russian astronautics, you need ... no, do not talk domestic ships from damage and the evil eye, but simply turn Roscosmos into a state corporation ... Popovkin is sure that the root of evil is that the state is still Roscosmos is not too actively taking its wing. Like, have a look at Rosatom, which has long been a state corporation - there is silence and grace, but what about us? Sorry, mess-with ...
Or maybe suggest to Vladimir Popovkin to take and rename “Roscosmos”, so that things go more successfully. There are many options: for example, the State Space Agency is just one letter to paint, but the meaning is completely different: closer to the state, closer to the budget ...
Tomatoes on the march
A remarkable event was noted by Moldova. In the so-called “northern capital” of the country, the city of Balti, in which about 20% of ethnic Russians and the overwhelming majority of Russian-speaking and Orthodox citizens live, gave permission for a rally to pro-Romanian unionists. At the same time, the city authorities, with the help of the court, tried to prevent the march, which called on the local population to unite with Romania and unconditionally condemn the "hated influence of the Russian minions." However, the "march of millions", organized by the movement "Actiunea 2012", the court allowed.
On the one hand, it may seem that all democratic norms are thus observed: every force in a democratic country of Moldova has the opportunity to express its own point of view. But in this case the march turned out to be a pure provocation.
The speech, the main slogans of which were approximately the following: “Down with the occupiers!” And “Russians, go back to Siberia!”, Undoubtedly, became the apogee of adhering to the principles of democracy, with which new Moldovan leaders came to power.
If you make any analogies, the march of unionists in Balti could resemble a hypothetical procession along Yuzhno-Kurilsk for supporters of the annexation of the Kuril ridge to Japan or speeches in, say, Petrozavodsk with calls for all Russians to be expelled and made Karelia part of Finland. According to its resonance, the events would be approximately the same scale.
For understandable reasons, the local people did not let the "inhabitants" turn around in Balti for the supporters of the idea of integration with Romania, suffering from blatant mania of Russophobia. A variety of gifts from peasant farmsteads, from tomatoes to eggs, many of which have badly spoiled the speakers with both their posters and civilian costumes, flew into the people chanting “Bessarabia is part of Romania!” The eggnog warmed up the crowd in such a way that even police units and special forces groups that arrived from different cities of the republic could not prevent skirmishes in Balti.
Now the Moldovan authorities are trying to find those responsible for street clashes. And it is very likely to assume that the perpetrators will be found, and only among those who tried to prevent the march, on which there were calls, giving a painful revanchism. This is a winning democracy ...
“Mortal Kombat” in Russian: Federal Drug Control Service against FSB
This week it was reported that from November of this year on 1 every employee of the FSB, all candidates for Chekist posts, as well as civilian personnel of the department will undergo an indispensable test for possible use of narcotic drugs. In this case, the test will reportedly be carried out by several methods: “intake of liquids” and “polygraph”.
Why exactly today the idea of posherstit "fighters of the invisible front", is not reported. But, as you know, there is no smoke without fire ... Did any of the vigilant Muscovites pass by the world famous building in Lubyanka, catch with their delicate sense of smell the smell that recently caught more and more in the nightclubs of the capital? And maybe some kind of overly suspicious pharmacist decided to go on the principle “it’s better to be outnumbered than to finish it,” selling the prescription Kodelak and Pentalgina forbidden pills without a prescription to a person with a “crust” of the FSB major ...
As a result, the long clawed hands of the anti-drug committee reached out to the holy of holies - the Federal Security Service of Russia. Now the life of thousands and thousands of employees led by Alexander Bortnikov can turn into a nightmare. Just imagine: Alexander Vasilyevich comes to his job, and they say to him: “Let's go to the liquid intake”. The head, of course, will try to argue in response, what, they say, fence, because today I didn’t even have time to drink tea, but it wasn’t ... subordinates who are already undergoing the test procedure on the "polygraphs" of the latest models. After the phrase of the “polygraph” itself, “You will tell me everything, a hidden drug addict!” Many FSB generals lose their legs, and the generals of these are urgently hospitalized in city hospitals ...
Let's not forget that the use test will affect not only officers and applicants, but also civilian “employees”. Well, how many Tajik masters who lay tiles in the courtyards of the regional centers of the Federal Security Service may suffer from such an aggressive policy of the anti-drug service? ..
So, FSB officers and applicants for such important positions should be immediately warned: no, you know, poppy seed buns, no herbal infusions, no fungus trips for the whole family: you never know that these “fluid intakes” along with “polygraphs” will show, then from Federal Drug Control Service is not a wrench ...
"I will drive a bicycle for a long time ..."
A few years ago, it was safe to say that if you wear earrings and allow yourself to ride a bike, then you are clearly not a North Korean woman. The fact is that, according to the sacred laws of this country, not a single self-respecting representative of socialist society will pierce her ears and insert metal objects into them, and especially will not lead to the sinful thoughts of North Korean men driving around the streets of Pyongyang and other DPRK cities in a skirt on a bicycle. However, times are changing, old Kims are leaving, New Kims are coming, and therefore literally epochal changes are observed in the DPRK, including women.
If someone today happens to see a DPRK citizen spinning a bicycle on the Pyongyang-Wonsan highway, sparkling with earrings in her ears, he should conclude from this picture that Kim Jong-un has already gone to meet the propaganda decaying West sexual revolution.
Kim, who is the third, except for lifting the ban on women's cycling and lifting the ban on wearing jewelry, decided to go even further and resolved what is considered to be the real symbol of the North Korean self-respecting hero, namely jeans.
If things continue to continue at the same pace, then soon it will be possible not to be surprised if Kim-son himself (he is Kim-grandson) appears in front of television and cameras in stars and striped shorts embroidered with Mickey Mouse. The corrupting influence of the West got the same and to the main stronghold of world socialism ...
Let us hope that at least the phrase “Pyongyang gay parade” will not be translated into reality. But the world today is so complicated, so great-aaaa-tive ...
Father Ivan and his party
From now on, the actor and, on a very rare combination, the priest Ivan Okhlobystin became the most right-wing politician in Russia. During the week, Ivan Ivanovich headed the supreme council of the Right Cause political party. But how can this be so, ”the savvy reader will say,“ for it seems that representatives of the church are forbidden to engage in politics, because de jure politics is still separated from the church. But can it really put the star of TV shows and the father of many children Okhlobystin? Of course not! Ivan made a move that some well-known politicians had already done before him in our country - he seemed to be in charge of the highest party council, but he did not join the party itself. But this option, it turns out, is quite acceptable for a priest who is forbidden to serve.
In this regard, already in the next regional elections, the face (otherwise it’s impossible to say here) Ivan Okhlobystin can take a central place on the propaganda posters of The Right Cause, which should call on Russians to come to the polls and vote on this particular party.
If we consider that not so long ago such a person as Mikhail Prokhorov was listed among the leaders of the “PD”, then it becomes somehow scary for the party line. That in heat, then in cold party members throws ...
The billionaire, who advocated mainly for carnal blessings, gave way to a man called to sow faith in spiritual blessings. In the party, as you can see, the political course cannot be settled in any way: where should its supporters go after all - to rely on the powers of heaven or to remain with two feet on the sinful Earth ...
Part II. "Ideas can only be rendered harmless by ideas."
“Glory is a disadvantageous product. It is expensive, remains bad "
The Holy Trinity
Punks from the "Pussy Riot" Khamovnichesky court gave two years to the colony. However, a harsh court decision can be appealed. It is unlikely that scandalous girls will serve two years, especially since two of them have small children, and the second court will certainly take this circumstance into account. However, in this article there is no place to discuss whether the sentence is too harsh or, on the contrary, fair.
Exaggerated, genuine geopolitical attention to the three girls nagged in the temple caused a whole epidemic of imitation "pussies" throughout the world. Under the guise of a struggle for freedom and democracy, numerous protesters from different countries, pulling on their dresses (or, on the contrary, removing them) and wearing balaclavas or stockings-nets on their heads, proclaimed their life-trying ideals.
In Kiev, the party-goers from “Femen” in the name of “PR” sawed down a wooden cross at the October Palace, over the Maidan Nezalezhnosti (by mistake "Reuters" it was reported about cutting the cross to the victims of Stalin's repressions, but that cross is a stone one). Feminists threw the cross, established during the Orange Revolution 2004-2005, calling "all the sound forces of society mercilessly sawed rotten religious prejudices from the brain, serving as a basis for the dictatorship and hindering the development of democracy and women's freedom."
In the Finnish capital, too, there is a struggle for freedom of "PR", which is headed by a professor of world politics at the University of Helsinki Teivo Teiweinen. Under the supervision of a freedom-loving teacher a few girls repeated punk prayer "Pussy Riot", being on the porch of the Assumption Cathedral. Finnish punks tried to pour urine from the canister in the temple, which they brought with them, but they were not allowed to take shit in the church, they simply did not let them go. On August 15, the action of the hot Finnish supporters of Pussy Riot was held in front of the Russian Embassy in Helsinki: three women in balaclava undressed, demanding the release of the defendants.
In Germany, against the verdict "PR" acted known for his open homosexuality Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle.
A wave of protection "pusek" has come even to Iceland. 11 August Jon Gnarr, Mayor of Reykjavik, put on a dress, put on a balaclava and, embodied in the image of the participant "Pussy Riot", rode by the city. He rode in the back of a truck on which a poster was attached: “Free Pussy Riot”. On the hood of the car there was another poster: “Gayor” (“Gay Mayor”).
Mr. Gnarr’s freedom-loving and democratic action was held in the framework of the traditional gay festival held in Reykjavik from 7 to August 12. "Gay Mayor" and previously demonstrated sympathy for LGBT. For example, in 2010, he supported gays and lesbians, speaking at the gay parade in women's dress and makeup.
17 protests of August, on the day of the trial, have passed at the Russian Embassy in London. In Paris, several dozen people spoke at the Pompidou Center. In Berlin, activists came to the rally with placards "Mother of God, Put Putin Out". One of the fans of “pusek” put on Vladimir Putin’s mask instead of balaclava. In Brussels, about a hundred protesters held a rally in front of the Russian representative office in Belgium. In Riga, Pussy Riot supported the 30 participants. They chanted: “Release, release!” And “Putin, release the girls to freedom, they have no place in your judicial system!” One resident held a banner: “The Russian Orthodox Church, you mixed up. Putin is not a god. ” In Melbourne, supporters of convicted punk girls made the inscription “Pussy Riot” out of candles. In Warsaw, 70 participants of the organization of the "Eighth of March" in balaclava met Patriarch Cyril and expressed solidarity with the "puskami".
By acquiring a geopolitical scale, the protection of the infringed rights of the “musicians” made them a good advertisement. Pussy Riot was supported by a large number of celebrities around the world, including rock musicians: Madonna, Sting, Peter Gabriel, Pete Townshend, Bjork, Franz Ferdinand, Red Hot Chili Peppers and others.
In Russia, PR was supported in Novosibirsk, Samara, Kurgan, St. Petersburg, Pskov, and other cities.
In Moscow, on the monuments to Pushkin and Lomonosov, the advocates of hooligans pulled colored hats-balaclava. Three boys tried to wear the same balaclavas on the sculptural group of partisans at the Belorusskaya metro station. This rotten youth was detained, and then the subway passengers were given to the police.
Other lovers of punk and western freedom desecrated a monument to Soviet soldiers in Sofia, pulling on the heads of sculptures are colored stockings.
So what did the pans from the "PR" teach their fans? If freedom, then from what?
And who is this in their defense? "Madonna"? Guido? Finnish professor with urine canister? Icelandic gay mayor, who put on a bra and women's dress? .. Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are!
One last thing: if the punks staged a riot in the church for the sake of self-promotion (expecting maximum punishment for 15 days), then they failed: after a year and a half, which the girls can spend in the colony, world democracy will simply forget them. Her memory is short.
Three meals a day
Bosnian minister knows how to beat the economic crisis
The Prime Minister of the Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Nermin Nikshich, found a reason to dismiss the Minister of Trade, Milorad Bahil.
To initiate the dismissal procedure - in the event that Mr. Minister does not write a statement “of his own will,” the prime minister wished because Mr. Bakhil gave direct advice to the citizens of the country on how to survive the constant increase in prices. That is what Bakhil was asked recently by journalists. And he answered with a sweet smile: "Save, do not eat."
Nermin Nikshich, having learned about such a specific message to the citizens, became angry in an interview with the Sarajevo radio station RSG said: “This cannot remain unanswered. It is unforgivable even if we say it as a joke. ”
Bahil in turn explained and before the prime minister, and before the general public: “On the contrary, I, as a minister and an ordinary person, with this incorrectly interpreted statement, clearly showed to citizens their vision of a difficult social situation, where people can save and not eat, because they have to pay for gas, electricity every month, water and other obligatory payments. ”
Dismiss the minister? wrong decision. On the contrary, the prime minister — the immediate superior — had to support the idea of his subordinate. It was necessary to immediately use the state informational radio and television channels, the Internet, and to start promoting the progressive ideas of the Minister of Commerce. And the ministers of Greece, Spain, Italy and other crisis countries in Europe should take an example from Bosnia.
However, in order for propaganda to work one hundred percent, the ministers would have to start implementing the anti-crisis idea from themselves. No, we are not inclined to advise the ministers from the ministries to immediately stop eating grouse and pineapples and go on a hunger strike. To begin, let them go on three meals a day - on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
By the way, this is the “three meals a day”, and then the mass hunger strike will be the direct factors of food glut in the country - right according to Marx. Storing along with falling demand will cause deflation and strengthening of the currency. From this point on, it will be possible to start eating again. Enjoy your meal!
Shark "swims" in the Gulf of Mexico
Russian submarine off the coast of America
In NATO, and especially in America, Russian submarines are so afraid that our “Pike” is dubbed “Shark”. And that is true: there are no pikes in the Gulf of Mexico.
It was just in this gulf that the Russian nuclear submarine of the 971 project “Pike-B” (which, by the way, can carry long-range cruise missiles), spent some time. For obvious reasons, the residence time of submarines in the waters of the bay is not precisely indicated: whether it is a month, or 5-6 weeks. Not in June she did some secret things there, not in July, but not in June and July, in the midst of the beach season. No one knows anything, as is usually the case with Russian submarines off the coast of America. And if not for Mr. Bill Gertz (not to be confused with Bill Gates), a journalist leading a friendship with the Pentagon and American intelligence agencies and collaborating with the electronic publication "Washington Fries Beacon" owned by the so-called "Center for American Freedom", the information about the boat in the Gulf would not have got into the press . Agree, not to learn about the Russian boat off the coast of the United States would be very sorry. So applaud comrade Hertz and his informants from the Pentagon!
The Americans learned that the Russian submarine spent a certain time in the Gulf of Mexico, only in fact of its departure home. Americans brought their advanced technology: radar responded belatedly. Maybe the Russians even purposely brought their boat to foreign radars - in order to hint at Romney’s aggressive words about “enemy No. XXUMX”, or at the wrong US policy in Syria. US officials only one admitted: “The fact that she was not noticed in the Gulf of Mexico is of concern.”
By the way, those Pentagon workers who do not make friends with Hertz know absolutely nothing about the Shark and the existence of a boat off the shores of a great democratic country is completely denied. For example, Pentagon spokeswoman Wendy Schneider said: “I don’t know what this information is based on, but it’s not true.”
It is possible, of course, that with the help of an amicable comrade, Hertz, the Pentagon campaigners simply invented a Russian nuclear submarine in the Gulf of Mexico - to ask Mr. Obama to increase or at least not reduce the defense budget of the Ministry of Defense. (And the budget for the construction of new warships for the Navy planned to cut on 1,3 billion dollars).
It is also likely that the Pentagon and the special services in full force, including B. Hertz close to them, were going to kill two birds with one stone. Composing the myth of the Russian threat, they gave Obama's rival Mitt Romney a trump card. Now Mr. Republican, for whom Russia is the number one geopolitical enemy, will be able to manipulate “Pike,” that is, “Shark”, who was dangerously close to the American coast, for electoral speeches, accusing Barack Obama alternately of weakness in foreign policy, then in pacifism and attempts to disarm their home country, then in entering the service of the Kremlin.
If the submarine in the Gulf is not invented, then it will be a trump ace in the Romney election pack.
The other day Mr. Republican is already He pledged the American army as many as one hundred thousand soldiers. Probably these one hundred thousand brave guys on warships (Romney always preferred ships tanks) after the victory of Romney in the elections, the vastness of the Gulf of Mexico will begin to plow, looking there for Russian submarines and Russian sailors, serving in full gear: from a bottle of vodka to a cap with earflaps. Or maybe one hundred thousand Romney warriors will go to the bay in the hope of finding Comrade Obama on one of the Russian boats, who treats Comrade Putin with his signature mead cooked on Pennsylvania Avenue, 1600.
Mead lover
About Obama and Romney
Sometimes we are surprised by the statements of the American president. Then he will tell about the Polish concentration camps, then about the fact that in America - 57 states, then blurt out about his uncle, who liberated Auschwitz, then openly support homosexuals, even in the Pentagon speaking on this slippery occasion.
But if you find out what Mr. Obama is doing in his residence and what he takes with him on election trips to a great democratic country, all questions will disappear by themselves.
The fact is that Mr. President has acquired with his own money and quite a while ago set in the metropolitan residence on Pennsylvania Avenue, 1600, a mini-brewery. He brews beer there not only to drink on the spot, but also to take with him.
Consume an alcoholic drink with him his wife Michelle. It also happens that Mr. Obama treats the beer of some honored person or voter. For example, last fall, an American sergeant who was awarded a medal for bravery drank with the president with the president. And this week, one of the residents of Knoxville in Ohio, where Obama met with voters, asked how things were going in the brewery, and the president presented him a bottle with the label “Honey Ale from the White House”.
Drinks Obama and colleagues. For example, White House spokesman Jay Carney recently admitted to journalists that he prefers light sorts of presidential beer: "I have tried only light, it refreshes normally."
All presidential beer on Pennsylvania Avenue is brewed with honey. Honey is extracted directly from the hive in the garden, dug up in the garden of the White House by the President’s wife. They say that Obama's mother-in-law is often seen in the garden. This company must be able to figure out for three. So it is not surprising that the number of US states after the next reception of mead in the main managing head of America begins to double.
Barack Obama’s rival in the upcoming fall elections, Mitt Romney, a Mormon, is hardly jealous of the sweet life of the incumbent. A lover of warships, if only he breaks into the presidency, is likely to offer clean water for “normal refreshment.” Statements about this - against the background of the election advertising of the Obama brewery - should be expected in the coming days.
Why do we think so? Yes, because Mr. Romney seems to us to be a man whose mind, alas, cannot give birth to his own ideas. Everything within the framework of the election campaign, Mr. Republican has cast his electors in the ears, is built on the ideas of the current president.
Judge for yourself. If Obama is a supporter of the development of alternative energy, then Romney the other day acted with the condemnation of the wind and the sun. The brewer's rival declared: having become president, he would save the USA from the necessity to buy oil abroad by the end of his second four-year term. The politician said: "We must use our own energy resources - our coal, gas, oil, renewable and nuclear sources of energy." Obama's initiatives, according to Romney, are detrimental to traditional energy, and at the same time lead to job cuts.
If Barack Obama plans to reduce the military budget and the number of the military, then Mitt Romney, proving “by contradiction,” plans to increase all this. If Obama believes that the defense strategy should be focused on the APR, Romney calls other foreign policy vectors concerning such enemies of the United States and world democracy as Syria, Iran and Russia. If Obama accepts some kind of social program, then Romney, already seeing himself as president (and for two terms), immediately declares her impending suspension. If Obama is in favor of homosexual marriage, then Mittu Romney has nothing to do but accept the opposite point of view.
In short, it is difficult to find in the statements of Mr. Republican something independent, born out of collaboration with Barack Obama. We venture to suggest: the problem of the poor in Romney's fantasy is that he does not drink.
* “Do you have brains or kyu in your head?” - a phrase from the movie “Kin-dza-dza!”
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