Military Review

New interception of telephone conversation between Moscow and Warsaw

44

The satellite, launched with the participation of Russian schoolchildren, intercepted another conversation between provocateurs.


- John, this is Mike ...

- Mike, this is John ...

- Hello, Mike ...

- Hello, John ...

“Mike, this is John, you should get a ten-liter can of Novice-B and instructions ...

- Hello, John ...

- Mike, keep in mind that Option "B" is our latest and unique development. After its application, the person does not die, but all traces of the "Novice" remain in his blood, as if he was actually poisoned. This will make it possible, from our point of view, to constantly discredit Putin. This month, we plan to poison at least several dozen Russian and Belarusian oppositionists in this way. And all over the world there are 6-7 prime ministers, over a hundred deputies and others who get caught. Ha, can you imagine what a commotion will arise?

- Hello, John ...

- Yes, yes, I know, Mike, don't worry. Negotiate with potential candidates, do not think about funds for reward, everything has already been allocated. The tariffs are the same, namely: participation in unauthorized actions - $ 50, spitting at the riot police - $ 10, holding the slogan - $ 20 an hour, bruising - $ 100, wringing hands and falling to knees - $ 150, detention, loading into a paddy wagon with photo and film fixation - $ 200. Broken arm or leg - $ 300 Every day spent in a bullpen or a pre-trial detention center - $ 500.

- Hello, John ...

- Pay close attention to poisoning candidates. They have to play like professionals. For agreeing to participate in the poisoning, they receive 300 thousand dollars, every day in a coma - 5 thousand, after ten days - 10 thousand.

- Hello, John ...

- Yes, yes, I know, Mike, that you have difficulty in accurately counting spitting towards the riot police. Demand to take a "selfie" and do not pay money without it.

- Hello, John ...

- You will pick up the canister at noon tomorrow at Tverskaya. It will stand on the roadway on the dividing strip opposite the Pushkin Drama Theater. Pretend that your car has stalled, turn on the emergency gang and calmly pick up the load. Be sure to wear a wig, gloves, gas mask and glasses. Remember that Novichok-B is toxic and extremely dangerous.

When you pick up the canister, make ten circles along the Garden Ring to check that there is no surveillance. We will be tracking from satellites, and in case of surveillance, we will let you know. If it manifests itself, then, without leaving the car, drink the contents of the canister.

- Hello, John?

- This is not dangerous. The most you risk is indigestion for ten days. If, nevertheless, you are taken to the hospital, do not confess to anything until you are taken to Germany. When you are in a coma, repeat all the time that the Kremlin is to blame for everything, and you are its ideological enemy. Remember that your individual preparation allows you to give the doctors traces of the use of potassium cyanide, curare, rattlesnake and cobra venom, and, of course, Novichok, when taking tests. Most importantly, don't worry when you get tested. With excessive excitement, it is possible that traces of the use of alcohol and cocaine, rather than poisons, are issued.

- Hello, John! I didn't hear anything, there is a bad connection. But I will do everything ...
Author:
44 comments
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  1. Tiksi-3
    Tiksi-3 7 September 2020 10: 04
    +5
    and where in the article is the poison of a tree frog ?? ...... must be !!
    1. Uncle lee
      Uncle lee 7 September 2020 10: 28
      +4
      And in the photo, in the molar tooth, there is an ampoule with poison! So puncture ... wassat
    2. SRC P-15
      SRC P-15 7 September 2020 10: 30
      +7
      New interception of telephone conversation between Moscow and Warsaw

      As I understand it, the author joked about the recording of the conversation between Poland and Germany about the poisoning of Navalny, made by the KGB of Belarus? negative
      1. The leader of the Redskins
        The leader of the Redskins 7 September 2020 10: 42
        +6
        Do not judge the author harshly. Now everyone is surviving as best they can.
        Someone writes monologues to Petrosyan, someone on VO is trying to joke ...
        1. Alena Frolovna
          Alena Frolovna 7 September 2020 13: 02
          +4
          As I understand it, the author joked about the recording of the conversation between Poland and Germany about the poisoning of Navalny, made by the KGB of Belarus?

          I didn't hear anything, there is a bad connection. But I will do everything ...

        2. cost
          cost 7 September 2020 14: 50
          +2
          Do not judge the author harshly. Now everyone is surviving as best they can.
          Someone writes monologues to Petrosyan, someone on VO is trying to joke ...

          It’s not funny at all. Even in the section "Humor in short pants" does not pull. With the same success, the author can lay out here horoscopes, crosswords or "advice from a home master." And then there would be more sense
          1. The leader of the Redskins
            The leader of the Redskins 7 September 2020 15: 03
            -3
            In my heart I hope that this "opus" will disappear from the screens by the end of the day ...
            1. cost
              cost 7 September 2020 15: 08
              +1
              in theory, it should be so. But .... wait and see
        3. Nyrobsky
          Nyrobsky 8 September 2020 00: 24
          0
          Quote: Leader of the Redskins
          Do not judge the author harshly. Now everyone is surviving as best they can.
          Someone writes monologues to Petrosyan, someone on VO is trying to joke ...

          What's wrong? Or do you think that in the case of the "poisoning" of Navalny, things are somehow different? Here already in Europe itself, half of Europe laughs at this circus with the "Novice". Although yes, it's time to cry here, realizing how crushed and stupefied "our partners".
    3. Fitter65
      Fitter65 7 September 2020 16: 14
      0
      Quote: Tiksi-3
      and where in the article is the poison of a tree frog ?? ...... must be !!

      The poison of a tree frog is the basis of curare. By the way, curare consists of all the components that a beginner is. laughing good
  2. Daniil Konovalenko
    Daniil Konovalenko 7 September 2020 10: 07
    +2
    I liked about the satellite ...
  3. Kart
    Kart 7 September 2020 10: 07
    +2
    Seems to me it was a comedy.
    1. Nikolaevich I
      Nikolaevich I 7 September 2020 10: 27
      +3
      Quote: Carte
      Seems to me it was a comedy.

      1. The leader of the Redskins
        The leader of the Redskins 7 September 2020 10: 56
        +3
        But, reading the comments, I personally note that most of the participants are still with normal sense of humor.
  4. Ingenegr
    Ingenegr 7 September 2020 10: 10
    11
    Is this dumb text definitely related to some kind of "military reviews", even in sections like "opinions", or was it thrown in here by mistake from the site "around laughter"?
    1. Insurgent
      Insurgent 7 September 2020 10: 20
      -2
      Quote: Ingenegr
      Is this dumb text definitely related to some kind of "military reviews", even in sections like "opinions", or was it thrown in here by mistake from the site "around laughter"?

      Never mind yes According to the author's intention, it was supposed to be a sharp feuilleton on a near-political topic, but it turned out how it happened request .

      Almost like Chernomyrdin.
      1. Kart
        Kart 7 September 2020 10: 46
        +1
        Let the opposition say everything he wants, or even better, do it - and no fight with them will be needed. They themselves will love and break everything.
    2. mikh-korsakov
      mikh-korsakov 7 September 2020 11: 51
      0
      Dmitry! You know, you can pour contempt on me, but I liked it. Laughed. It is necessary to accept the attacks of the enemy cheerfully, this will cause sadness in the enemy. It is not for nothing that our Ukrainian colleagues at the talk show declared with irritation and longing, they say, you are joking, and you will be announced sanctions. And as for the quality of humor - sorry, not the Petrosyans, sir.
      1. cost
        cost 7 September 2020 22: 46
        +3
        Dmitry! You know you can pour contempt on me, but I liked it

        Douse with contempt ??? belay What is it like? Yes, I don't even know such words. This is not for me. Ask someone else.
        But seriously, Mikhail, I personally did not like the author's "humor", which I wrote about. You write what you liked. So what? This is a forum. Everyone here has their own opinion. This is normal. And I never imposed mine on anyone, and I am not going to impose it.
  5. Asad
    Asad 7 September 2020 10: 13
    +2
    Is it far from April XNUMX, rehearsal? At the first, interception, even Soloviev was shocked.
  6. Revival
    Revival 7 September 2020 10: 14
    +1
    What a stupid primitive ...
    What was it...?
    1. Snail N9
      Snail N9 7 September 2020 10: 26
      +3
      This is not a "primitive", the author jokes (like the entire Internet) over the so-called "intercepted" telephone conversation, which Lukashenko provided as "proof" of a foreign conspiracy to poison Navalny and overthrow Lukashenko. yes
      "Mike ... and Mike ..." - this is another Internet meme. lol
      1. Kart
        Kart 7 September 2020 10: 51
        -1
        Quote: Snail N9
        This is not a "primitive", the author jokes (like the whole Internet)

        All right?
        Or just the part where frostbitten fighters for the happiness of mankind without Putin and Russia gathered on their heads?
        1. Fan-fan
          Fan-fan 7 September 2020 18: 14
          +3
          Do you believe that Lukashenka is really capable of intercepting something? Have you even read this interception, I read it, there is complete nonsense that the Belarusian KGB invented.
          1. Fan-fan
            Fan-fan 7 September 2020 18: 19
            +2
            Intercepted conversation between Berlin and Warsaw:

            - Yes?
            - Hello!
            - Yes Yes?
            - Well, how is it with the poisoning of Navalny?
            - AND?
            - How about Navalny's poisoning?
            - What's with Navalny?
            - What?
            - Where are you calling?
            - I'm calling you.
            - To whom?
            - Well, you.
            - Who do you want?
            - And here you are.
            - Who are you?
            - Mike
          2. Peter is not the first
            Peter is not the first 7 September 2020 19: 52
            0
            Do not defame the interception that Lukashenka told the Belarusian KGB about. I hope there are adequate people working there to come up with such a game about the "tough nut" Lukashenka.
      2. Kisa
        Kisa 8 September 2020 00: 20
        -1
        "Strong potatoes")) - no one praises himself))
  7. Igor Litvin
    Igor Litvin 7 September 2020 10: 19
    -3
    We are waiting for the interception of the conversation between Tihanovskaya and Kim Jong-un ...
  8. Nikolay Ivanov_5
    Nikolay Ivanov_5 7 September 2020 10: 20
    +2
    What was it???
  9. Baloo
    Baloo 7 September 2020 10: 21
    +3
    My favorite TV show: A girl / man comes to the director of the circus. Draste, I want to work for you. What can you do? I have an original number. Can you show me? I can. Then there is an endless variety of original rooms. A satellite launched by schoolchildren ... Youth Army! Young fellows!
    1. Kart
      Kart 7 September 2020 10: 44
      -4
      No.
      This anecdote is about fighters against the regime, and the number looks like this:
      A chest is brought into the arena, a drum roll, a shot, the chest explodes, and all the spectators are splashed with what is known.
      And then an artist enters the arena, all in white.
      Up!
  10. Campanella
    Campanella 7 September 2020 10: 27
    +1
    Continuing the humor ...
    The latest development of Russian specialists perfume line "Novichok"!
    Connoisseurs will easily appreciate the benefits.
    It is a persistent perfume. They will follow you with a steady train, which is why it is so important to observe the measure. The room you leave will remind you of you for a long time.
    1. SRC P-15
      SRC P-15 7 September 2020 10: 56
      +1
      Quote: Campanella
      Continuing the humor ...
      The latest development of Russian specialists perfume line "Novichok"!

      Then it's better to "Triple Newbie" - maybe there are fans not only to enjoy the smell, but also to drink! yes
  11. cat_Bayum
    cat_Bayum 7 September 2020 10: 29
    +3
    Evgeny Vaganych ????
    1. Kart
      Kart 7 September 2020 10: 45
      +1
      No, this is Zelensky's theater composing. Right behind the piano without pants.
    2. DED_peer_DED
      DED_peer_DED 10 September 2020 20: 21
      0
      Quote: cat_Bayum
      Evgeny Vaganych ????

      That's why some people can express themselves on the forum, but I can't?
  12. Nikolaevich I
    Nikolaevich I 7 September 2020 10: 38
    0
    We will be tracking from satellites, and in case of surveillance, we will let you know. If it manifests itself, then, without leaving the car, drink the contents of the canister.having washed it down with a liter of moonshine ...If you still get taken to the hospital, not in a sobering-up station drinks or a psychiatric hospital, fool trace. so that you always have a 3-liter jar of antidote with you: "Rassol Ogurechniy"! ....
  13. Jack O'Neill
    Jack O'Neill 7 September 2020 10: 40
    0
    Interesting plums ...
  14. ALARI
    ALARI 7 September 2020 10: 49
    +2
    When anecdotes and demotivators will be published on VO, like a serious publication, but they are not, they are tired of waiting.
  15. gvozdan
    gvozdan 7 September 2020 10: 57
    0
    Less attention should be paid to this booth.
  16. Wwk7260
    Wwk7260 7 September 2020 11: 04
    0
    the author forgot to mark the article with "laughter from the audience"
  17. Maks1995
    Maks1995 7 September 2020 11: 29
    +2
    And what for? what kind of dumb text?
  18. sen
    sen 7 September 2020 13: 19
    -2
    It is very strange that a video with Navalny and "white helmets" did not appear.
  19. Fan-fan
    Fan-fan 7 September 2020 18: 18
    +4
    Interception of a telephone conversation from West Berlin to Zhitomir:
    - Listen, Mike, there is a war, but how damn prettier Moscow was under Sergei Semenovich Sobyanin!