Russian special forces seen on the third ring of Saturn!
Special Forces - it sounds scary!
Russian special forces have truly become a brand, one name of which works better than a dozen divisions from some tolerant European countries. And if someone wants to scare someone like that, the win-win option now is just that: Russian special forces, secretive invasion, seizure of power, the destruction of those who resist ... Arab militants do not work in the “Arafat”, no bearded Mujahideen are needed, Somali pirates look languidly ... Against the background of Russian Ivan, all this, sorry, is a pot-bellied trifle. Want a real charm of the reader or viewer, be so kind as to find the Russians!
And they “find” the Russians. Moreover, where they have not been there for centuries, and to assume their appearance was now difficult. In particular, now Russian special forces have been found in Norway - both in the continental part of the country and on the Spitsbergen archipelago.
As the Norwegian publication Aldrimer (Aldrimer.no), specializing in security issues in the Scandinavian region, reported in its material from 27.09.2019, Russian special forces were spotted in Norway. In support of its words, the portal refers to as many as four (!) Sources in the intelligence of Norway and its NATO allies. On Spitsbergen, the special forces were quite classic, in military uniform, but in the continental part of the country the special forces were dressed in civilian clothes.
They were noticed, of course, by the Americans, who conducted aerial photography in these areas. And this is logical: well, who comes to mind to shoot from the air the bare tundra spaces, where for decades there has been no one but reindeer? Only our wonderful partners, who traditionally have nowhere to give money, are capable of this.
This message was already hastened to refute at various levels: both in the Russian embassy in Norway, and in the State Duma, and the military themselves turned a finger at the temple. But in order to avoid accusations of superficial coverage of the issue, we used our own source - Ivan Okkupantovich Ruthless, spokesman for the chamber No. 6 of the Serbsky Institute of Forensic Psychiatry.
And then it turned out that "everything is not so simple." According to Ivan Okkupantovich, indeed, the Russian Ministry of Defense is planning a “polite capture” of Spitsbergen, and if possible, the whole of Norway. For this purpose, a secretive concentration of the Special Guards Buryat equestrian-underwater armored division in the Oslo area has already been carried out, the Caspian is preparing to support the operation from the sea flotillaand from space the Fourth Fleet of the Russian Aerospace Forces will come to the rescue, having already advanced from its bases in the area of the third ring of Saturn.
Well, as you see, sources no less informed than Norwegian ones strongly confirm the fact of the concentration of large Russian special forces in Norway. And if someone else doubted the insidiousness of our plans, I hope that now his last doubts have disappeared.
We will continue further with those who are not used to believing any newspaper “duck”, even if it quacks in a good Norwegian language ...
And do not blush ...
First of all, pay attention: a small publication immediately had four (!) Sources in various intelligence services. Here, our SVR and the GRU would have to think about their professional suitability: they used to have one and only “mole” in the CIA was worth its weight in gold, and here four at once. At a minimum, the guys from Aldrimer should be invited to Moscow to give lectures on the art of recruitment to our classified comrades.
True, this is much more like a regular bluff, and very arrogant, designed for children and journalists (those who know, just show a finger). Remember, in your childhood there were some guys who, for the sake of convincing their fiction, referred to the thousand most authoritative people in a certain issue? This, it seems, is just such a case. There are four sources, but we won’t name them: journalistic ethics plus secrecy!
References to aerial photography also look very strange. Well, good, good: commandos were seen among the commandos wandering the Svalbard tundra. Now someone will surely appear who will remember about “satellites who can read even secret reports, even at night, even under the roof of the embassy, even in an envelope”. Okay, we won’t even argue: “stupid” Russian commandos, being on a mission in the territory of another (and by no means friendly) state, forgot to hide the insignia.
But what about those who were in civilian clothing on the territory of mainland Norway? Changed clothes, but forgot to take off the helmets with the inscription "special forces"? Kalashnikov assault rifles not removed? Or were they fired at MAN reconnaissance aircraft from MANPADS? Or maybe swearing loudly at NATO army frequencies? How was it determined that people walking along the Norwegian tundra or forest tundra are not fishermen, not hunters, not lumberjacks, namely Russian special forces?
Further, in principle, you can not analyze. More precisely, it would be interesting to know who needs it, but here we will never get complete clarity. Perhaps the military are behind the provocation - Norwegian or American. But it is likely that the owners of the Internet resource decided to “hijack” in an adult way and did not come up with anything better than Russian special forces in the Norwegian tundra.
And why are we worse than Japan?
But in this case, we probably should not be very angry with the adversaries. You know, but it’s very good that our attention is drawn to Spitsbergen. The geographic location of the archipelago is extremely advantageous: it could become "in which case" a real "unsinkable aircraft carrier" of Russia on the way through the North Atlantic to the "partners". And along this path, I recall, our strategic bombers often move ...
From the archipelago, it is convenient to control the movement of American nuclear submarines moving into the combat alert areas of our strategic submarine missile carriers, to cover surface forces sent to the North Atlantic if necessary. In general, the geopolitical significance of Svalbard can hardly be overestimated, it's just a find, not an archipelago!
Again, the resource base is not bad. And taking into account the likely presence of oil on the shelf of the archipelago and adding marine biological resources, everything looks very attractive. We have some access to this in the framework of a special agreement concluded on the basis of the Second World War. But you need to understand that it was a compromise, and since the Norwegians have recently violated it themselves (in particular, the arrests of Russian trawlers for "poaching" in the waters washing Svalbard), there is every reason to return to a discussion of the territorial affiliation of the archipelago.
No, seriously: the situation, if it differs from the situation around the South Kuril Islands, is not so important. Well, there was a "misunderstanding" on the basis of the Second World War, this time - not in our favor. But Japan may insist on the return of the islands, but what about us? Weak, perhaps ?! No, return our Grumant, return our stolen pearl!
And from this perspective, it suddenly turns out that a good, “polite” referendum on Svalbard would be very useful. Our miners work there. How much did you work? How much more could you work?
That's right: ask everyone. Yes, in Moscow alone more people will vote than the entire population of Norway ...
So let’s say to the guys from the Norwegian edition our decisive “thank you!” They raised a good topic, the right one! And if Russia ever wakes up from hibernation, thanks to the Aldrimer.no portal, we will probably not forget about our native Svalbard ...
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