Military Review

The results of the week "light": Fly, dove, fly

40
“Military Review” presents the summer format of the week results - “Light Week Results”. These are several plots, the topics of which were discussed during the last seven days, and which were more or less relevant. For those with a heightened sense of seriousness, a convincing request: in order to maintain emotional balance, it is better to leave the material unread.


The results of the week "light": Fly, dove, fly


Fly, dove, fly ...


The next report of the Pentagon about the problems with the F-35 fighter. What is the account of this report - already lost in the Pentagon itself. How they lost the technical problems with the fifth generation aircraft, which, under pressure from American goodwill and democracy, diverges across countries like hotcakes. Try not to buy ...

Against the background of statements about the pilot's seat vibration and instrument panel when firing an aircraft cannon, amid claims of early stealth coverage, it seems that conclusions on the F-35 of the following nature are about to appear:

While landing in the pilot's seat, the Block II F-35 on-board system writes off the monthly allowance from the officer’s account. In the absence of the required amount on the account of the pilot F-35 - draws on his name a loan.

In flight, the plane is vulnerable to hacker attacks, and therefore, in the headphones of an “intelligent” helmet, a no less intelligent pilot is heard at the limit decibels of either Kalinka or Valenki.

If there is a shortage of oxygen due to a malfunction in the appropriate pilot life support system, F-35 contacts the psychological assistance service, which asks the pilot to suffer until the nearest airbase.

Going to intercept the Russian Su-30 or Su-35, the plane automatically dictates an article to Dave Majumdera from the National Interest, which says that he (F-35) against the fighters of the Russian Aerospace Forces most likely has no chance and stealth coverage for him definitely will not help.


It's all Iran


In the Gulf of Oman were tankers attacked Japanese and Norwegian companies. One was carrying oil, the other was methyl alcohol.



How did events evolve according to the main horns of truth - the American media:

After waiting for the Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe to visit Tehran, the Iranian guards of the revolution thoroughly stocked up with magnetic mines in order to sink the Japanese tanker. In order to finally plunge democracy into the darkness, the IRGC decided to send the Norwegian vessel to the bottom. They chose the most photogenic ones to carry out the attack - so that those with a favorable angle with working profiles could be located directly under the cameras of the American UAVs. It was part of a cunning and insidious Iranian plan. When Trump was finishing his duty cola in the Oval Office, explosions were heard from representatives of the axis of evil. No sooner had the air of explosions shot up the seagulls of the Gulf of Oman, as news the fact that behind the attacks is certainly Iran, came out on the front pages of the USA and Israel. After this, the progressive part of the international community had no doubts about the evil intentions of the bloodthirsty Iranian regime. With methyl alcohol jokes are bad ...

If someone seriously believes that Iran has no relation to the explosions on tankers, and the special services of two friendly states stand behind the attacks, then this person is democratically dense and ignorant. For "Iran" in free translation from American English means: "Guilty."

Shit


The country has learned that individual police officers can plant drugs on a person. Can you imagine, this has never happened before and here again ... Never. Hear NI-KA-YES. Wow. The people who took the oath to protect the rule of law decided to take the crap journalist like that. This is nonsense. This is unbelievable ... And officials suspected of involvement in corruption never have journalists dropped on the floor. Journalist officials are not banging requests from us, and, of course, they do not lead to annoying flies with the desire to slam themselves.



But in the end - a complete victory of civil society in the face of one structure, which was quits with another ...

Case Discontinued, the generals left their posts untimely, the journalist turned from the accused to the witness.

And after that, any Russian knows for sure: that if injustice is created in his attitude, then the perpetrators, even if they are high-ranking officials and representatives of the authorities, will also suffer an inevitable punishment. Without fail. The caps will fly, caps from the stairs will be generals. Major publications will come with the front pages of “I-We are a simple Russian Vasya Pupkin from Ryazan (Kazan, Pskov, Chelyabinsk, Yakutsk, then everywhere)”. Everything will be that way. Is someone still in doubt? There is no need to doubt - shake this non-patriotic liberal bacillus out of you!

Toad jumped


Ukrainian military reported on the next exit to new positions. They say that the outskirts of Donetsk are now so close that you can podlyunut. Toad jump took place. Ukrainian reporters have already walked through the streets of Marinka, demonstrating the gallant Ukrainian soldiers (of course, light), who are setting up new positions.



Meanwhile, the headquarters of the DPR reported that no promotion of the Ukrainian military occurred, no new positions in the gray zone of the Ukrainian Armed Forces did not hold, and in general - everything that the Ukrainian side said is not true. Well, if it is not true, then it is not true. The main thing is that the situation in the series should not turn out later: “Everything turned out quite unexpectedly, we believed the reports of the OSCE special monitoring mission and continued to follow the Minsk agreements.”

Moldova is our


Moldovan wines, Moldovan apples and other products of the generous Moldovan agrarian industry are said to be very useful for Russian citizens in the near future. The fact is that the same Moldovan apples carried in themselves chains of poisonous substances, as they grew in Moldova at the moment when toxic Mr. Plahotniuc was ruling there. But Plakhotnyuk, allegedly, left Chisinau together with his retinue, and with it toxicity moved beyond the limits of the solar republic.



Eventually - apples become good, wines are self-cleared, grapes from branches are extremely beneficial. Rumor has it that on the shelves of stores of the Russian Federation may appear "Dodonovka". Recommended for use after "Tears of Plakhotniuk".
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  1. ODERVIT
    ODERVIT 16 June 2019 17: 42
    +4
    Briefly and very seriously. wink
    1. WILL
      WILL 16 June 2019 18: 28
      +1
      A chaotic week .... Somehow alarming! What is there in Suitcase, it’s silent everywhere, maybe the locals will tell?
  2. Phil77
    Phil77 16 June 2019 17: 50
    +8
    Yes, dear Alexei, you gave it out !! Not bad, right word, not bad. By the way, Moldovan wines and * White Stork * are really good, huh, but you can debate about apples, but it certainly tastes. laughing
    1. Krasnodar
      Krasnodar 16 June 2019 18: 01
      +3
      The wines are good. The white stork is a high-degree chatter. Apples - depending on the variety.
      1. Phil77
        Phil77 16 June 2019 18: 36
        +2
        Quote: Krasnodar
        The wines are good. The white stork is a high-degree chatter. Apples - depending on the variety.

        Cognac (or still brandy?) Drank in Tiraspol, the beginning of the 80s, I liked / liked it. Wines there, tasty. Especially home-made! Apples? Well, I admit that I came across the wrong varieties. I like sweet and sour taste of an apple, but did not find it. That's all. hi
        1. Krasnodar
          Krasnodar 16 June 2019 18: 58
          0
          White Stork - Brandy. Cognac made in Paris or Champagne is also brandy)). I’m just born 76, compared with the French, and with them I started dating cognacs - bullshit and chatters.
          1. Phil77
            Phil77 16 June 2019 20: 17
            +7
            Well, dear comrade Krasnodar, there are two possible answers: * There is no companion for taste and color *, * Who likes pop and wholesome * In principle, under the old regime, French cognac drank too (it was on sale, it was not in special demand- 25 rubles for a bottle, not everyone will pull after all?). But still, the good old * White Stork * (Soviet bottled) compared to the current * cognacs *, it's like * Mears * before * constipation humpback *
            1. Krasnodar
              Krasnodar 16 June 2019 20: 23
              -1
              Well, in the Union, maybe he was not bad - I don’t know. As far as French is concerned, as far as I know, the Union was Courvazier Napoleon. I tried it about three years ago - Nitsche so)). In general, you are right - to taste and color! I would prefer VSOP to Curvazier XO, I drink only from Paradise from Hennessy (I just drank it), and Marteli swallowed Carden Blue and Exoshka))) Duty Free range, in short
          2. Dmitry Bolotsky
            Dmitry Bolotsky 16 June 2019 21: 08
            +3
            Any brandy made not in the Cognac province is brandy. A brandy made in the province of Cognac is called cognac. Brandy, made in the town of Armagnac, in the province of Gascony, is called Armagnac. White sparkling made in Champagne - champagne ... hi
            1. Krasnodar
              Krasnodar 16 June 2019 21: 10
              +1
              That's what I'm talking about. White sparkling made in Spain - cava)).
              1. Dmitry Bolotsky
                Dmitry Bolotsky 17 June 2019 17: 05
                +1
                Right! And in Poland and in Ukraine (western) kava - coffee! laughing
                1. Krasnodar
                  Krasnodar 17 June 2019 18: 46
                  +2
                  This is from Arabic - Kahwa))
                  But the woman of low social responsibility among the North African Arabs is called kahba
      2. depressant
        depressant 16 June 2019 18: 47
        +4
        What about Moldavian plums? They were very cheap and at the same time large, sweet! Democratic fruit for the not very wealthy, always helped out. There were no Moldovan drains last year, and therefore it was sad. Maybe this will appear. Once, a very long time ago, in a past life, I had the opportunity to try homemade Moldovan wine. Isabella lost her homework!
        Ah, Moldova! ...
        1. Krasnodar
          Krasnodar 16 June 2019 18: 59
          +4
          Are Moldavian peaches? Well this is generally tsimes. Both the wine and the Moldavian cuisine are all super. And the grapes ... Eeeh.
          1. Phil77
            Phil77 16 June 2019 21: 36
            +1
            Quote: Krasnodar
            Are Moldavian peaches? Well this is generally tsimes. Both the wine and the Moldavian cuisine are all super. And the grapes ... Eeeh.

            And apricots ??? !! Tastes! I still liked the local mulberry. Yes, and grapes! fellow
            1. Krasnodar
              Krasnodar 16 June 2019 21: 42
              +1
              Under the Union, friends from the North came to their parents, saw the point where they were selling fruit, so the guy shouts to his wife - Gal, apricots are being sold without a queue, 19 (EMNIP) kopecks! )))
              MSSR was a paradise ..
      3. ultra
        ultra 17 June 2019 13: 03
        +1
        Quote: Krasnodar
        The white stork is a high-degree chatter.

        Last time I consumed "White Stork" about 20 years ago, I was very good. hi
        1. Krasnodar
          Krasnodar 17 June 2019 13: 11
          +1
          Maybe the release series was good, or maybe against the background of another booze, which was then in Russia, it was really not bad. In the early 2000s, he bought Jack Daniels in Moscow - he turned out to be a counterfeit. Now, of course, you can safely take any drink in a normal supermarket chain - the last time I got "charged" Martel five years ago. He returned with a scandal, they gave the money back.
          1. ultra
            ultra 17 June 2019 13: 21
            +1
            Maybe a series, after that I never tasted it again. Now, if I buy expensive alcohol, it's only in the Metro.
            1. Krasnodar
              Krasnodar 17 June 2019 13: 31
              +1
              I am also in the Metro or Tabris - such as the Alphabet of Taste of the Krasnodar Territory. In the Metro, alcohol prices are adequate - for the rest, sometimes in ordinary supermarkets it is cheaper.
    2. newcomer
      newcomer 16 June 2019 18: 38
      +6
      there was a slight understatement about the tanker with alcohol ...
      1. Aerodrome
        Aerodrome 16 June 2019 19: 06
        +5
        before everything was tastier and more natural, in fact, I loved both the "white stork" and the "fluerash" to drag on ... how long has it been ...
        1. Qwertyarion
          Qwertyarion 16 June 2019 20: 15
          +7
          Quote: Aerodrome
          before everything was tastier and more natural, fact

          Yes ... and the women were younger .... winked
          1. Memphis
            Memphis 16 June 2019 20: 35
            +2
            Quote: Qwertyarion
            Quote: Aerodrome
            before everything was tastier and more natural, fact

            Yes ... and the women were younger .... winked

            There used to be agriculture for people, now the food industry, all from oil with palm oil. And to the health of the people who do not follow or do not have the opportunity to monitor what they are buying ...
        2. Phil77
          Phil77 16 June 2019 21: 38
          +3
          But I didn’t smoke time fortunately. And it was necessary to get involved in this rubbish ?! stop
  3. demo
    demo 16 June 2019 17: 52
    +1
    Seriously about the funny.
    Fun about sad things.
  4. newcomer
    newcomer 16 June 2019 17: 54
    +2
    but sho, I liked the loan for the pilot and Dodonovka_. wink
    1. depressant
      depressant 16 June 2019 20: 42
      +3
      And I liked about the big ranks and representatives of the authorities, who without fail will suffer a well-deserved punishment - bitter humor!
      Remember the story with Shakro Molodoy? The thief in law noted that he gave a bribe to Nikandrov, the deputy head of the Moscow ICR department. And the last one - by taking it. Just a minute, 500 thousand euros! Last summer Nikandrov was sentenced to 5,5 years (as if he had stolen a chicken!) And has already been released. I have no doubt that to a cache of billions not found by the investigation, suddenly stricken with blindness. He came out, only 4 months without dust "working" as a singer and a dancer in the amateur performances of the colony. Have you counted cooperation with the investigation, etc. And, maybe, what else have you counted? Taking into account the amounts that the mister law enforcement officer used to turn over? From the same section of bitter humor and noisy, for show, with pomp, the dismissal of generals in the Golunov case. And then it turns out that the old people who stayed too long were simply sent to retire.
  5. Thrifty
    Thrifty 16 June 2019 19: 03
    +3
    Yes, even if such "results" at the end of the week, all one is better than the absence! Moreover, with humor, which in our time in life is rare! Unless, just do not count the "eternal jokes" of the country's authorities, from whom the truth throws it in the heat, then in the cold, and the hand reaches under the pillow for the machine gun (who has it there!). sad
  6. parusnik
    parusnik 16 June 2019 19: 19
    +4
    Thanks, smiled ... smile
  7. Old Michael
    Old Michael 16 June 2019 19: 25
    0
    For people with a heightened sense of seriousness - a convincing request: in order to maintain peace of mind, it is better to leave the material unread.

    Well, this feeling of seriousness that has never been aggravated in me. But for some reason, this article did not cause a smile ...
  8. taiga2018
    taiga2018 16 June 2019 19: 42
    +3
    a busy week: reports on the plane are reported, and the planes, meanwhile, though not like hot cakes, but diverge, although here the categorical formula from the film "and if they don't buy it ..." , although the situation with this country shows how important it is that in the arsenal of anyone wishing to respect the state there was nuclear weapons ... well, it did not work to make Golunov a full-fledged victim of the "regime", it did not work, it seems that liberals now hate the journalist himself more, and not those who wanted to set him up ... no matter how much we laughed at the toad jumps, and no matter how these toads one not very fine day were near our borders ... Moldova will no longer be ours, the Prime Minister and her statements and with all its appearance makes it clear that all its aspirations are only Europe ...
  9. Ali Kokand
    Ali Kokand 16 June 2019 21: 00
    +1
    Ai-ai-ya, what kind of jocks threw up irrefutable evidence of the guardians of the law, how bad. Shaw again? Well, nowhere else is there, even in the most democratic states. I recalled a joke about how candidates in the Communist Party admitted that they had written the book Capital.
  10. Minato2020
    Minato2020 16 June 2019 21: 47
    +1
    Quote from the article:
    "... During landing in the pilot's seat, the Block II F-35 onboard system deducts a monthly allowance from the officer's account. In the absence of the required amount on the F-35 pilot's account, it issues a loan in his name ..."


    Along with the increasing reports of cyber attacks and threats to electronic databases in Russia, a unified system of accounting for draftees continues to be built. After passing the medical examination, each conscript will be required to undergo the procedure for collecting biometric data. Then all information will be stored in an electronic database in Moscow. In addition, information about the conscript will be stored electronically - on a card equipped with a microchip. The card, in fact, will replace the military card.
    Thus, information about the military personnel of our country will be in electronic form and the possibility of transfer to third parties is not ruled out.
  11. vasilii
    vasilii 16 June 2019 22: 15
    0
    Hats will fly, generals will be tumbling from the stairs. Large publications will be published with the front pages "I-We are a simple Russian Vasya Pupkin from Ryazan (Kazan, Pskov, Chelyabinsk, Yakutsk, hereinafter everywhere)." Everything will be that way. Is anyone still in doubt? There is no doubt - shake out this unpatriotic liberal bacillus!

    I shook out the liberal bacillus and firmly know that this will not happen. Because you don’t need to rock the boat, do not succumb to provocations, the Maidan will not work, you don’t want to like in Ukraine.
  12. Nyrobsky
    Nyrobsky 16 June 2019 22: 27
    +2
    "Dodonovka" - there is something in it! winked Alexey, it would not hurt to issue the copyright for the brand, otherwise it is not even an hour and their "Dodonovka" will appear on our counters. drinks
    1. Altona
      Altona 17 June 2019 05: 11
      +1
      Quote: Nyrobsky
      "Dodonovka" - there is something in it!

      --------------------
      "Dodon white" and "Dodon red". "Dodon white semi-dry", and so on. laughing
  13. aszzz888
    aszzz888 17 June 2019 00: 56
    0
    In flight, the plane is vulnerable to hacker attacks, and therefore, in the headphones of an “intelligent” helmet, a no less intelligent pilot is heard at the limit decibels of either Kalinka or Valenki.

    It would be necessary to change the repertoire, and insert the music of V.A. Mozart .... bully
  14. The comment was deleted.
  15. Lapunevsky
    Lapunevsky 17 June 2019 12: 13
    -1
    Norm, I liked everything laughing
  16. Mikhail3
    Mikhail3 17 June 2019 13: 13
    0
    ABOUT! For the first time, the editors went to give work to a person with the rudiments of a sense of humor. Of course, this is not humor, but the light at the end of the tunnel loomed a little. It remains only to determine where the tunnel leads. Does it not smell gray, is the light too red ...