Military Review

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. Ukraine, which sheds the skin

No, but for what a rolling pin? Lucky you, the Russians. Your women are not as aggressive as ours. Just do not fight. And ours are just some kind of beasts. I returned home from “political leaders” and with love, so to Tarakanushka, in correct Ukrainian, I say: “Zdorovenki buly, member of the family”. And she gave me a chitin rolling pin. After that, love the pies when your own wife, completely uneducated with her higher education, is ready to kill for the right move.

Greetings to you, unbeaten my readers! Interesting with us? Only approved a new president and then we demand impeachment. Elections again decided to organize. Why? There is no other work, so we will earn money at rallies. They passed a law on language, and the president daily violates this very law because he has not yet learned the language. In the language of the aggressor, scum is like in the mother tongue. And now he will not learn for a long time. I also do not know Ukrainian now ... Yes, I, Taras Shevchenko, in some rural parish dialect spoke!

Have you ever thought about the circumstances of our and your life? If misfortune, then it necessarily collapses. If happiness, for some reason, it always throws up. Even the case, and he somehow tuck. That's how we live. With caution looking at the sky. With hope around. With interest under your feet. And still falls, rolls over and tucks all suddenly ...

Okay, in order. If you have already started on a rolling pin, then you need to finish. I sit and think, if Tarakanushka didn’t hit me on the head, so it is possible, and there was no rolling pin, but happiness? Fell off his lice. Happiness is perfectly organized by our government headed by the Hydrant. It is with the Hydrant, and not with Ze.

Long ago, last August, the national spelling commission proposed returning part of the “repressed” spelling norms in 1919. Offered and offered. You will not see as many ideas as our deputies, commissions, public organizations and others do in the EU as a whole. And I did not follow. So, reported passing. Like another crap. In vain, as it turned out.

Also laughed then. These same “scientists” were going to return to the Ukrainian language the norms that Nikolai Skrypnyk, the People's Commissar of Education, introduced. Bolshevik, who, according to our historians, was shot for his love of Ukraine. We believe. Only here in the archive for some reason, other documents. Type shot Skripnik. His wife was repressed. But it is different история.

"The first Ukrainian spelling was adopted in the 1919 year in the UNR, and then it suffered a lot in the 30-e. The active conductor of Ukrainization, the people's Commissar of Education Mykola Skrypnyk, was shot to death, and Ukrainian spelling was repressed. Now we want a part repressed norms return to the modern spelling, leaving him multivariate ".

In short, on the sly, the Minobraz adopted new norms of spelling. Discussed behind the scenes. We are mugs, did not pay attention to it. But 22 May suddenly the Cabinet of Ministers dying accepts these norms. That's how my Tarakanushka became a member of the new law. Well at least not an agent of the Kremlin or boxer. Already so well. For my precarious health.

I will not describe everything. Do not understand, as we do. Here, for example: "Now the Primate of the PCC, Metropolitan Epiphanius, is rightly called:" Metropolitan Epitanii. "The city of Theodosius is now Theodosia." The kids are now going to the "Pearly Star". "Anathema" - "anatema", "efir" - "eter", "mif", "mifologiya" - "mit" and "mitologiya", "Afini" - "Ateni".

So, the desire to destroy everything Russian in the language led to the fact that we have a language that nobody understands! Neither Russian, nor Ukrainian, nor pro-language! Earlier, when there were problems with mova, we switched to Russian and understood everything, but now?

And now truncated, in my head everything is in three languages ​​at once: yours, ours, and not quite ours. In short, he still vinaigrette with a taste of vinegar. But while it is necessary to live with it in the head.

I am writing to you, but I myself have another problem in my head. I'm here in hockey hit, and hence the problem. It is necessary to look at all this with something in terms of snacks and yes, of it. And well, you need at least a couple of one and a half to three periods.

Where to find food? Do not think that Russia has arranged another famine for us, although it is better to have a famine than such hockey ... But in this case you are not to blame. Although...

In general, we have shops, kindergartens, schools, cinemas, and hospitals mined since the evening of May 22. And cleared accordingly. I gave you there in the link video dropped. Juvenile "crucian" ozorat from C14. Only here on the cellar and hope, there is no beer, of course, but what we have is what we have. Crest I or dog tail?

That's about how I watched hockey. It all started with the fact that he came back one night and poked a button. And there we played with yours! I knocked out the sound so as not to wake up the Tarakushka. I sit, have breakfast, watch how your reds are there with our yellow-blakitnymi puck. And so beautiful we made you in the first period ... They scored the puck. "Shche Ukraine has not died ..."

And in the second period, ours as a substitute. I even started yelling. Six pucks we rolled. In short, another violation of the law on language, in the form of a Russian mat, Tarakanushka caught me in the morning. “Dick, what are ours? Ours in the ... lower division play. And here only those that play can perform. Turn on the sound" ...

Turned on the sound, already from the heart light. This is the Swedes in the Ukrainians dressed, for the Russians, I guess, probably. So I am right. In the first period, when we played, we won. And in the second, when the Swedes were released - they lost. Peremoga definitely!

In general, if anyone is interested, I will tell you for hockey in Ukraine. He is. Mostly. We like to spend our championship! As many as six teams involved! More teams actually, but some prefer to play in other leagues. Kiev "Falcon" in Belarus plays, for example.

And we have a national team! Playing ... it's hard for me to say where. But this is the 1 division of the world championship. Well, like the second league, I guess.

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. Ukraine, which sheds the skin

And if you disgrace with the Finns (well, as if yes, the game was so-so), then we ... also disgrace! For the sake of justice, we in our group also played one match ... won!

We have defeated the Netherlands with a score of 8: 1! True, we lost to the heap to everyone else: Japan (2: 3), Poland (3: 7), Romania (1: 5), Estonia (3: 4). And proudly and squarely retained a place in the division, knocking out the Dutch. So we have hockey!

But this story I told you to defuse. And you would not believe the following news.

In short, tortured Ze Ukrainians with their reforms. So tortured that something happened that was not even with the Hydrant. On the site Rada appeared a petition demanding the impeachment of Ze. Moreover, already on the 15 hours of 13 minutes of 23 in May, she won the necessary 25 000 votes.

“Taking advantage of the lack of meaningful promises to the people, you began to attribute your own whims to the people’s will. An unacceptable situation arises when the“ servant of the people ”has no moral obligations to their people formed in the electoral process. Therefore, we, the people of Ukraine, demand your immediate resignation from the post of President Of Ukraine! "

For a long time I did not answer the questions of friends. Today I will try to answer the question Alexey (Siberia 75):
“I am very interested in the opinion of the“ cockroach ”regarding pereobuvaniya, not even politicians (I can’t pick a single decent word), but all the media heads.”

Yes, just everything. I will answer in understandable language Siberian. Well, as far as I know Siberia, of course. Imagine that scientists crossed a snake and sable. In terms of animals. Imagine what a nasty, creepy but stinging creature with its poisonous teeth? Crawling such a shaggy gut on the ground and bites everyone.

This is the image of our mass media. This is what you call media heads. Nasty snake hybrids for opponents of the government and sable for those in power. But there is one property in these hybrids that you notice. In nature, snakes shed their skin every year. And our "media heads" skin change after each election. Together with the head. The new owner - a new skin.

Ask why is it for those in power? So the skin, for which they diligently tended, after molting remains with them. Power lost, and the image created by the media remained. Peculiar care about the future place in history. I think it is clear explained.

But back to our sheep. Nothing that I quote antique justice? Are you aware that our Ze is an adherent of a very popular (to be honest, I don’t know where) ideas of libertarianism? You even have such a party, it seems. In short, the maximum political freedoms, complete autonomy of the individual, freedom to dispose of their property, body and all that belongs to you, voluntary association with other citizens ...

Do not think that I am trying to explain to you who our Ze is. I myself am trying to understand. And you know, it turns out an interesting picture. We were already a libertarian! And you know him. Old Makhno!

Just called differently - anarchist. I can imagine what revolutionary sailors would do if they were called by those libertarians themselves. Very much a bad word seems ...

Some fear causes only one. Remember the slogan Makhno? "Freedom or death!" Freedom is not only a person from the state, but also a state from a person. Every man for himself. Let the weak die! Under the sneakers of his history! And this slogan will be realized in modern Ukraine. How many of us will remain for the new election? And how much work will cemetery excavators ...

Remembered from childhood. My father was handy. But always busy. And in the kitchen from the tap constantly dripping water. Mom periodically asked to fix the crane. To which my father, with his characteristic frankness, replied: "A man promised to do - so he will do it! And I don’t need to remind me about this tap every six months!" And the crane kept dripping and dripping ...

I looked here the ratings of the parties that will go to the elections to the Parliament, from Rating Group Ukraine. What would happen if elections were held today. The results are depressing. The anarchists Ze ("The Servant of the People") win by a wide margin - 43%. But even this is not important. The main thing is that the opposing unit does not work!

Okay, agree "Servant of the people" and "For Life". And how will the opposition negotiate? A gardener and herder Lyashko and the communist socialists from the "Batkivshchyna". Or all together with BPP? Here you have the "Anarchy - the mother of order." And "he does not need to be reminded every six months ...". The dictatorship of anarchy shines on us!

And the desire of the Ukrainian regions for voluntary association is not manifested at all. Something not torn western areas to the east. And vice versa. All live on their own. But this is the principle of creating a state of libertarianism. Perspective, however ...

Okay. Enough of the sad. I read here about the next discovery of British scientists. After years of research, the British made a sensational conclusion. It turns out that the reason why the whales are cast ashore is not some kind of cataclysm or disease. And the man is not to blame. Whales are thrown away simply because they bathed!

I, too, "bathed" in politics, so I will tell you about life. My mood after writing the notes that you have already read above can be expressed in one phrase: "You see there, the baseboard is far, far away ..." We will lift it. And you and yourself.

Let me tell you about bank robberies in Ukrainian. American you have seen. In Italian too. I am not talking about “Soviet-style”. But the robbery with our color for you, probably, will be a wonder. So, Ivano-Frankivsk, the city center. Euromail building Do not be surprised. We have and such.

A gang of intruders, clanging on the move with a set of master keys and welding machines, approaching the building. In the sky, the moon pokes ominously. Even yard dogs were hiding. Preparing the crime of the century!

The attackers came to the door with an old, still Soviet, lock. The lock was rusty and did not react to modern master keys. “Oh yoho to bisa. Pidganyay car,” - said the leader. I heard the noise of a car engine. The guy in a balaclava brought, probably from the east of Ukraine, threw a cable over the grille ...

The safe was big. And also rusty from time to time. "Play yogoy in shwedkom. Budinki rozberemosya yak rozkriti!" - shouted senior. A minute later, a car with a safety cable tied with a long cable swept through the center of Ivano-Frankivsk. So quite recently 1,47 million hryvnia was stolen. They are looking for criminals ... Only in balaclava they were.

Think this is an achievement? Ugh on you. Our achievement in this regard is different. You could say the world record for bank robbery! Only here you can rob two banks at once!

I will not artistically describe the robbery. Strokes inform. The case was on the territory of the Chervonensky Village Council of the Lviv region. The criminals entered the building of the village council, where the bank's ATM was located, and in the next room there was a branch of another bank. In short, they broke the ATM, took 195 thousand hryvnia. Well, in another bank, 70 thousands were stolen from the safe. Masters!

Let go. The mood got better. You can also tell our local news. First of all, that we joined NATO! Scared? Do not be afraid. We entered, as usual, in our own mriyah. NATO does not yet know about this.

Who was in Kiev, knows that we have on the European Square a monument to the Football Championship held in 2012 year. Mounted near the Ukrainian home soccer ball. More precisely, was. Now, in its place, we have established the official emblem of NATO. In a sign of something there. To be honest, licked by NATO members once again.

So I think, and when will we install a hand of a begging towards Europe? And what, the idea is patriotic and personifies our aspirations and aspirations. And you know, I'm not kidding, we really do have a bunch of assholes who, in all seriousness, will suck up this idea. What have we become ...

I take so much risk telling you about my hometown. I already called from the zoo. They said, if I write again about the Klitschko Bridge, they will eat me along with the guts. And I believe them. Seen how to feed the crocodiles or lions. And to me in general, and some kind of bird will be enough. Billed with a beak - and there is no cockroach.

But I'm risky. Still, I will tell the reason for such an attitude towards me by the residents of the Kiev zoo. So, there is probably a little man in our KSCA who reads my notes. Remember, in past notes, I told about the tests of the bridge that Vital personally conducted?

After my story about the beauty of the future bridge and about the great Kiev mayor, the cost of construction work has increased dramatically. From 260 mln. To 420 mln. Klitschko liked my description of the glass floor and his feat, so I decided to improve my perception. Signed an order of the KCSA number 859 and increased funding.

The trick is that the Kyiv City State Administration does not print hryvnia. And the amount of these finances is limited. So, if somewhere has arrived, then somewhere it must have departed. From here and the threat of crocodiles. Financing of the Kiev zoo reduced by 232,63 million UAH! They are afraid to die from hunger beasts.

Well, for a good mood, another story from my Moscow voyage. Tsaritsyno Park. Seven o'clock in the morning. I walk through the alleys of the park. Beauty. Quiet. Only a flock of Chinese people near the benches, they also breathe clean air. Well, two hard workers, from the "children of the dungeon" local, smoke out.

Quite a peaceful and tranquil picture. And suddenly, one of the employees takes off his shoes and starts walking on the dew. What for? I do not know, did not ask. And it does not matter. The reaction of the Chinese is important. They also take off their shoes and go to the grass. At the same time they cheer so much in their own way.

I could not stand it and asked a young girl tour guide. What kind of fun is it? Indeed, it was amazing to see people who were bowing to our two hard workers and showed them a thumb as a sign of gratitude ...

"They really like dew on the grass. But they didn’t want to break the rules. They thought it was done on purpose. It was beautiful. And when they saw how the museum staff showed them that they could step on the grass without shoes, they did it together. will be for the whole day. They have such impressions more than all these beauties ... "

This is the story I want to finish today. Whatever happens in this world, there will always be people who do not want to step on the grass covered with dew, just because it is beautiful. And it does not matter what they are of nationality or faith. Where are they from? It is important that there are such people. It is important that we have someone learn to live.

And to you, as usual, all blessings and health. And more of these morning impressions. To have a lot of dawn and grass with dew drops ahead.

See you soon. Will live!

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  1. sagitch
    sagitch 29 May 2019 05: 00
    In the morning, mockery of Ukraine, again? The bridge is to find fault with them in revenge that they have fired our fire for nothing. Is it necessary? Pour into our ears that their bridge is bad, but ours is good. Have you built it? Well done! We managed as promised. It is necessary to rejoice for the neighbors, or simply to remain silent, and not to mock, being like "dimwitted horses".
    Above you have to be! Why these low squabbles? Why drag us in?
    1. Thrifty
      Thrifty 29 May 2019 06: 09
      So in fact, he himself wrote a resident of ukroinii, or how this terretoria they today called their concepts? ?? recourse
      1. The comment was deleted.
      2. sagitch
        sagitch 29 May 2019 06: 40
        In the army 35 years ago I served there! Ordinary residents of Ukraine, moreover, why they mock at their homeland, they are so bad!
        1. Xnumx vis
          Xnumx vis 29 May 2019 07: 30
          Quote: sagitch
          Ordinary residents of Ukraine, moreover, why they mock at their homeland, they are so bad!

          But their glass bridge cracked! The glasses that Vital Klitschko checked from his brothers, jumped, burst ... True, it is such a thing that is not pleasant to everyone .. Ordinary people, of course, it is good ... But when these ordinary people, in the form of OUN UNS, from the western regions of Ukraine come to your home city, Sevastopol, on the "draft of friendship" a train of friendship if someone did not understand .. To teach you to love your homeland correctly ... You just want to get rid of such ordinary people ... Give them a blow on the head, and say goodbye to the country!
        2. purple
          purple 29 May 2019 07: 59
          Quote: sagitch
          In the army 35 years ago I served there! Ordinary residents of Ukraine, moreover, why they mock at their homeland, they are so bad!

          These residents on the Maidan galloped with pots on their heads, under the shouts of "Moskals for knives" and "Moskalyaku for gilyaka", so we have the right
          1. sagitch
            sagitch 29 May 2019 17: 35
            And we are not saints, and hatred can only generate mutual hatred!
            1. purple
              purple 29 May 2019 18: 42
              Quote: sagitch
              And we are not saints, and hatred can only generate mutual hatred!

              and where does hate? They hate us Russians ... and I’m deeply parallel with them ... and their attempts cause only laughter
        3. stalki
          stalki 29 May 2019 15: 04
          Ordinary residents of Ukraine, moreover, why they mock at their homeland, they are so bad!
          Where is the mockery? Cockroach is still possible to say, with respect to his country, writes, ironically.
        4. Ska
          Ska 29 May 2019 18: 18
          Who mocks?
      3. domokl
        domokl 29 May 2019 06: 59
        what But the truth. The question of questions. What is the new state called? Events are accelerating and ... somehow frozen in place. Ze hasn't done anything at all yet. Well, except stated that Russia is an aggressor.
        The artist he is the artist. In the blood of his desire to all like what? Feel the new hydrant crush soon ..
      4. Non liberoid Russian
        Non liberoid Russian 29 May 2019 14: 47
        Russian textbook donate?
    2. garrett
      garrett 29 May 2019 09: 10
      with a sense of humor you have trouble)
    3. BambrSV
      BambrSV 31 May 2019 08: 02
      Of course ... write about what thieves need to steal only in the afternoon smile
    4. Petrol cutter
      Petrol cutter 2 June 2019 20: 57
      "Their bridge is to find fault in revenge that they have burned our fire in vain. Is it necessary? To pour it into our ears that their bridge is bad, but ours is good. They built it? Well done! not to mock, being like "dimwitted horses".
      You have to be higher! What are these low squabbles for? Why drag us in? "
      And I probably agree. Here I agree point. Without explaning the reason. Bo explains - it hurts a long time.
  2. Thrifty
    Thrifty 29 May 2019 06: 10
    Cockroach, thank you for not yet lost humor! hi Nowadays it is difficult to remain yourself - to remain a person with a sense of humor!
  3. parusnik
    parusnik 29 May 2019 08: 21
    Have fun, you, that we.
  4. garrett
    garrett 29 May 2019 09: 09
    Cockroach !!! I love your sarcasm)
  5. Paratrooper
    Paratrooper 29 May 2019 09: 19
    Thank you cockroach) Let's live!
  6. asp373
    asp373 29 May 2019 10: 39
    Zdorovenka Bula, Pan Ukrainian
    I understood everything about your prezdent, after he returned mad Mad Miho. He was just going to carry out all the instructions from Washington, that's all. Well, and since their towers have long since demolished the attic and they are biting with each other, their instructions will be given strongly by progressive schizophrenia. However, for the natives from the lower reaches of the Dnieper, this is a common state, so everyone will be happy.
    Glory to Ukraine!
  7. Sergey Sergeev_4
    Sergey Sergeev_4 29 May 2019 11: 40
    Maybe enough about Ukraine? How can?!!!!
    1. domokl
      domokl 29 May 2019 13: 09
      Quote: Sergey Sergeev_4
      Maybe enough about Ukraine?

      Does someone at gunpoint force you to read this? Or do you have enough of our TV to know everything? We have half of Russia has relatives and friends there. Well, or had. I think a better report from the scene than comments on the events of those who live next to us
      1. Sergey Sergeev_4
        Sergey Sergeev_4 29 May 2019 13: 25
        Who can guarantee that such a "reportage" is not one-sided and biased?
        1. Kerensky
          Kerensky 29 May 2019 17: 17
          Who can guarantee that such a "reportage" is not one-sided and biased?

          For me, so normal healthy irony.
      2. Sergey Sergeev_4
        Sergey Sergeev_4 29 May 2019 17: 36
        "... our TV to know everything" ......... is it like, seriously, or a bad joke ??? !!!!!!!!!! And in general, it seems to me more important to be more interested in affairs in Russia, do you have any relatives or friends here?
        1. Ska
          Ska 29 May 2019 18: 15
          And what have your Russia? A person lives in another country, he has enough of his own problems, but you strongly believe that your problems are more interesting. So take a pen in hand, sir, and write about your problems so that we can read in an interesting way. And everything that you give so far is nothing more than a co-co-co
          1. Sergey Sergeev_4
            Sergey Sergeev_4 29 May 2019 18: 21
            Something I did not find that domokl (Alexander) does not live in Russia?
            1. Ska
              Ska 29 May 2019 18: 28
              And I did not find something that the cockroach is a domokl! Or am I missing something ??? Explain
              1. Sergey Sergeev_4
                Sergey Sergeev_4 29 May 2019 18: 33
                I did not answer the author of the article, but to:
                domokl (Alexander) Today, 13: 09
                Does someone at gunpoint force you to read this? Or do you have enough of our TV to know everything? We have half of Russia has relatives and friends there. Well, or had. I think a better report from the scene than comments on the events of those who live next to us
                1. Ska
                  Ska 29 May 2019 18: 36
                  I agree. Was wrong, sass. I apologize.
                  1. Sergey Sergeev_4
                    Sergey Sergeev_4 29 May 2019 18: 36
                    Former ..........
            2. domokl
              domokl 29 May 2019 18: 37
              Quote: Sergey Sergeev_4
              Something I did not find that domokl (Alexander) does not live in Russia?

              So you about me? I really live in the depths of Russia. And they write to you about the Cockroach ...
              1. Sergey Sergeev_4
                Sergey Sergeev_4 29 May 2019 18: 38
                I got what you mean.
    2. asp373
      asp373 29 May 2019 14: 00
      Quote: Sergey Sergeev_4
      Maybe enough about Ukraine? How can?!!!!

      Who can guarantee that such a "reportage" is not one-sided and biased?

      No one can guarantee, and do not need this.
    3. zenion
      zenion 29 May 2019 18: 01
      You are a bit like one guy named Naum. He sat listening to jokes. Then, when I started telling a joke about a lad named Burbot, he was nicknamed so he told him how much such anecdotes could be told, let's talk about bribed women and to Burbot how your mother lives. Well, Burbot, of course, punched him in a bad head. Naum - what did I say so, passed out.
      1. Sergey Sergeev_4
        Sergey Sergeev_4 29 May 2019 18: 22
        It's funny of course, but why is it here?
  8. Machete
    Machete 29 May 2019 12: 51
    How the Cockroach will be now without Hydrant?
    Rename new glavnyuk on aglitsky manners?
    It will be Zé Hydrant.
    1. SASHA OLD
      SASHA OLD 31 May 2019 19: 57
      Quote: Machete
      It will be Zé Hydrant.

      The gidrant! laughing laughing laughing
  9. The comment was deleted.
  10. Igoresha
    Igoresha 29 May 2019 15: 37
    it's hard to read
    1. Ska
      Ska 29 May 2019 18: 07
      My son also reads with difficulty, but he tries. Him true 4 of the year .....
  11. malyvalv
    malyvalv 29 May 2019 16: 50
    More and more after visiting Japan, I am convinced that people in the East are more civilized than in the West. Even the Chinese. About the Japanese and no speech.
  12. Ska
    Ska 29 May 2019 18: 06
    And I liked it. With humor about the heavy. I'm still waiting for the "voyage to Moscow". If Tarkan really went, write. We are waiting.
  13. The comment was deleted.
  14. mvnmln
    mvnmln 29 May 2019 19: 40
    The circus continues, the actors are all the same!
  15. pafegosoff
    pafegosoff 30 May 2019 08: 51
    What about Tae and EF.
    But, in principle, if you use the original sources, then it is true: Theodore, Θεόδωροςαἰθήρ, Pre-Revolutionary and Church form of the name - Kedor (Theodore), (θεός, “God”). Those. in one case - theosophy, theology, Mikis Theodorakis ... In the other case - Fedor.
    Well, you can - Khvylya or Filya ("hvie-lie-peok!")
    In general, they may soon switch to the language of "The Lay of Igor's Host", as truly Kiev.
    SASHA OLD 31 May 2019 19: 52
    Thanks for the next article, health and peace of mind to you, Comrade Tarakan!