Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. New Year's reflections on drunk head
Greetings to you, dear readers of my several strange notes! Merry Christmas to you, my dear!
Ask why weird and why not sober, I guess. So I will answer immediately. But it does not go to her, sober! Life, it is such a thing that sometimes, not rolling a glass, I will not take the right decision.
I sit here ... In one hand a glass, in another a cucumber, in a third belt. The fourth head scratching. I think what to do.
My youngest scholarship was deprived. But that all exams for the "excellent" passed. So I understand that it is necessary to react somehow, but I don’t know how. Especially in the spirit of the times. After all, deprived in the spirit of the time, too. My little to love to learn. Well, this is understandable, I think, because he is all in me. Smart, in a sense.
But other times came along with exchange programs. Well, they changed. Now, in order for a student to be a scholarship-worthy student, he must not only successfully master knowledge, but sing, dance, cavenit, be a headman, and so on.
And mine, you know, studied. Like a fool, on one five. But the headman, who grabbed two "threefolds", roughly speaking, with a scholarship. Because my non-galloping and non-singing coefficient is 0,9, and the headman has 1,15. And the points that my offspring earned by successfully passing the exams went to ... to ... for the benefit of the headman left.
So, 2000 hryvnia is a very big money in Ukraine. So for them it is very necessary to pack up.
Here you have the anecdote from the bowels of the Goloseevsky forest:
- Berimorenko, hto shout there?
- I beg your pardon, sir, has accumulated ...
Now here I sit, drink, and think about the past. About 2018. And I remembered a somewhat older past. From youthful love. Mankind, probably, has completely passed through such situations.
- Olesya, 150 grams of brandy for courage?
- Do not. I have already come to you brave ...
No, you do not think that I am humor ... This is my laugh through a belch.
Just like Ukraine in the EU and the USA. The brave came and ... everything happens by mutual consent. But in a perverted form. And on the other hand? We also need to understand. Remember - measure seven times ... Yeah. While you measure it seven times, others are already cut several times.
Tse our svіtle Maybutnє. Social feeding. Just like in Europe and zaochaniya.
I here conducted a small survey of fellow citizens about the President’s New Year’s address. We have and you have such a tradition. I do not know why, but we all listen to the president before the chimes. Every year the same thing. In the first part about the difficulties of the past year, and in the second part about the "sweets" that prepared for us the coming year.
So, try to guess who we listened to this year?
Poroshenko? Yah! This eternally drunk beggar listen shameful and disgusting. Your guarantor? To be honest, almost the same desire. Just not patriotic yet.
And listened to 7 from 10-ti huddles ... Lukashenko!
Today it is really the most popular politician in our country. Alas, only the Belarusian chiming clock and everything that happens in front of them is in trend today.
Cockroach just advised advice from Cockroach to write immediately. About how to celebrate this family drunk ... holiday. I do not know about you, but in December I already bought alcohol for the New Year three times. And I remembered about it that is why. Do not take pictures at the festive tables. But most importantly, do not post these pictures on the Internet! It is according to your photos in the presidential administration of any country who judge the welfare of citizens!
Late advice, of course, but better late than never.
Let's go back to the notes. Today I decided not to upset anyone. So that they would not accuse me of comparing Russia and Ukraine. In order not to watch, I pricked your country or not. In order not to offend and their compatriots. We are what they are. In general, I will write about the results of the year for Ukrainians and about Ukraine. Without touching the citizens of other countries for the scrotum ...
The most important outcome of the past year is that we survived! And many, including me, even stayed at home! This is not a simple matter. Do you know how many reforms we have already implemented this year? 144! Well, a couple of transformations conducted during the war, ugh, martial law. Total 146 pieces! Not the population, but resistant tin soldiers!
Another tip for the holiday. While thinking about the number of reforms for the 2018 year. So, on New Year, never abuse alcohol! Drink alcohol only kindly! They will answer you the same in the morning!
Tell you something else? In the city of V. eight years ago broke through the water pipe. The situation is banal. While the essence of the matter, the water washed a hole about eight meters in diameter. But repairmen arrived. Pipe changed. Water supply adjusted. But they decided to use the pit for the benefit of the local budget. They piled it with garbage!
From above the earth they have set everything up. There is water, no pits and no debris. Beauty. Only this beauty lasted until the next spring. Whether the garbage is a donkey, or something else, but the pit appeared again. Again, joy for utilities. Again covered with garbage. Saving!
A year later, the situation repeated again. And after two too. And after three! In short, and the cart, in the sense of the pit, is now there, and takes the garbage to the fullest. No worse than an incinerator! Here is such a fairy tale-true story. It is necessary that ufologists then checked. Maybe aliens?
And we live! Despite all the efforts of Reva, Omelyan, Klimkin, Parubiya, Suprun, Rozenko. Muzhenko, Kobolev and the Hydrant himself! We learned how to live without a state. More precisely, against the state. We do not even care about our foreign friends! I don’t know if you noticed that I haven’t been using the erased phrase about the light at the end of the tunnel for a long time? Do you know why?
That we are in the ass, that is, in the tunnel, we understand. And the fact that any tunnel should be the end, also know. That the “light at the end of the tunnel” is our long-awaited future is also guessed. But we adapted to live in the tunnel. Light is now needed only idealists.
We had a good year. From the point of view of learning life in extreme conditions. Suprun is such an experienced minister-teacher that today Ukrainians will not be surprised, for example, by “Ambulance” moving on scooters. Or the possibility and even the need to wet the Mantoux vaccine for its proper operation.
Yes there. Today we are not at all afraid of sitting in the cold. Minister-death convinced us of this. True, we are now afraid to cross our legs when we sit. But we are simply thrilled with happiness, watching the welding and waiting for another useful recipe from the Ministry of Health.
Do you know what Ukrainian street looks like at the weekend? Of those who follow the advice Suprun? Screwing the batteries in the apartments so that the temperature does not exceed 18 degrees, opening the doors so that there is always a draft, warmly dressed people, smiling and embracing, go to the urologist and gynecologist. But not all, but only those who have already turned 40!
Smiling go by pharmacies, where instead of drugs dietary supplements. Go without fear of infection. What do we all these measles and other flu! We are not afraid of an epidemic! Like this.
And again the advice from me. It is known that a glass of good red wine prolongs life for a year or two. But mathematics in this case is blatantly lying! Drink a bucket of wine you do not make you immortal! Checked on yourself.
Do you know what expression is most often heard today? And on the radio, and on TV? "Ukraine in the mainstream"! I specifically asked friends what it means. One to ten. One out of ten understood what it was all about. Although almost all used this expression. Like Hyperloop.
Can you explain what kind of beast it is?
And again I am with my life experience. On the morning of January 1 for the hot, it is best to cook dumplings! If you cook them 20 minutes, then it really will be dumplings. If you cook 40 minutes, you get pasta in a naval manner. Well, after 60 minutes, if the resulting product is sprinkled with grated cheese, you get a great lasagna!
But back to Hyperlup. In fact, this is a rather complicated engineering structure from a pile of tunnels, through which cargo and passenger cars will rush at a breakneck speed in a low-pressure environment.
In short, this is from the same series as the bears on the streets of Russian cities, as the Ukrainian space center in Australia, as the conquest of Moscow and Voronezh by us, as five airfields a year. Uh-uh, autobahns in Poltava region ... I already had the impression that thanks to the American laboratories on the Ukrainian land, something is being mixed into the air.
In the meantime, there is no way we can get traffic going to Borispol by rail. Yes, and in ordinary trains, shelves, sometimes, fall. These are our visions and Hyperlups ...
Give, perhaps, advice to married bachelors. And what, business everyday. In short, if, after the third glass, your neighbor seems to be the embodiment of unearthly beauty, urgently drink a couple more cups. Then you decide that you are not worthy of such a woman, and your family life, as well as your health, will remain in status quo!
Do you remember how quite recently enemy UFOs from Alpha Centauri blew up our military depots? Horror! And we survived. From above UFO, around agents of the Kremlin, saboteurs and separatists roam herds. The body, you see, he found the antidote to stupid things, abominations, betrayal and obscurantism.
We are practically and do not respond to attempts to cancel the Snow Maiden and March 8 or the purchase of 1000 pairs of socks in the NBU and headlamps for anti-corruption. And martial law?
It seems to me that Russia reacted to this situation more than we did. Laughed. Who needed it, was caged. Villagers and homeless people went to "relearn" in military units. And that's all. Russia did not return to the war again, although your border guards at the crossings were not so sleepy. And we knew it!
Why are there martial law. We will now be engaged in sex in a European way. Through the notary. This savages about some kind of love and desire to speak. And we, Europeans, first to the notary for a certified certificate of permission of the wife to use her body for sexual purposes, then the wife there, already for our permission to use, what else can be used for the same purposes. And who will try to fulfill a conjugal duty without a certificate - to prison! On 5 yo balanda slurp asian! Because sex - only by mutual consent. And, if before in the face, now in court.
But the main thing - we started! Born a twin bird to the finals! Well, we are slowly doing a poll here, who for whom will go, more than three hundred have already been interviewed on the streets and squares for New Year and Christmas. Slowly so privately, one might say.
And because our bird is not a troika, as in our Gogol, but a deuce. Poroshenko and Tymoshenko. They are quadrille in the final dance. And someone who zakadrit, he then, apparently, that he will plant.
But hh-s ... The work is not finished yet. Still ahead. But moved. Already people went from the Hydrant, to recruit an army of agitators. With payment in 1000 hryvnia. I think the youngest give. At least half taken away will compensate. And I'll go myself. Oh, I nagitiruyu, in the corners of the dark and wet ...
In fact, the next time I will write to you about quadrille in great detail. The administrative resource is good, but I will spend the holy evening not in Kiev, but in the very outback, at my parents. And there I will talk to the provincial people, what they breathe there ... And there they breathe differently than in Kiev.
By the way, here's a sketch from Kiev streets. New Year is a new year, and even people of art want to eat. Bargaining ...
And the main news. I was already overwhelmed, asked, you know, true or not.
Inter and 1 + 1 channels (this is where I saw it myself), and they also say others, vying with each other, tell you that you, that is, Russians, are taking over the village every day. There, in the Donbas. And our valiant APU cannot do anything about it ...
People have to tell the truth. And how without it?
After the fourth at one such meeting, my fantasy broke out, and I betrayed it. So much so that he himself presented everything, believed and sobered up with fear.
... Snow-covered fields and rare islets and stripes of forest. Melting a snow exhaust in front of them, Russian soldiers stubbornly crawl forward, drag mortars, guns and Tanks. All are not just drunk, but, as we say, "in jiuzi" ...
It’s just that I can explain to the people that they are sober that such a modest speed of advance of the Russian army is on a drunken head. It is clear that one village per day is more than modest.
But you know that on January 1 we had a Bandera march. There were eagles walking, ready to do anything for the sake of the proud Ukraine ...
What a pity it is that the eagles are not enough. The media broadcast about two thousand, overcame the morning of January 1, but I whisper to you in secret that they were 600 people from their strength ... And I don’t even want to say more about this subject. My mouth tastes bad.
But it’s scary for the dull ... Yes, and intelligent too. How can you imagine your "polite" slowly creeping in darkness and snow ... Br-r ...
In the meantime, the "green men" have not yet crawled to Kiev, once again all on the holiday! Health to you and your family, friends and relatives. Thick wallets and big pods. Full refrigerators and cellars. Happy smiles to your children. Pride for you to your wives.
By the way, I remembered yesterday’s conversation with the Tarakanushka. "Oh, you will get it from me. They will catch and send to Siberia! (I even choked, Siberia is not ours). Of course, like a Decembrist, I will go with you. To the frost. To mosquitoes and midges. But you should buy me a fur coat in advance ! " In short, she set the task using local material.
Everything. All successfully complete a difficult period of long rest. Will live!
Ask why weird and why not sober, I guess. So I will answer immediately. But it does not go to her, sober! Life, it is such a thing that sometimes, not rolling a glass, I will not take the right decision.
I sit here ... In one hand a glass, in another a cucumber, in a third belt. The fourth head scratching. I think what to do.
My youngest scholarship was deprived. But that all exams for the "excellent" passed. So I understand that it is necessary to react somehow, but I don’t know how. Especially in the spirit of the times. After all, deprived in the spirit of the time, too. My little to love to learn. Well, this is understandable, I think, because he is all in me. Smart, in a sense.
But other times came along with exchange programs. Well, they changed. Now, in order for a student to be a scholarship-worthy student, he must not only successfully master knowledge, but sing, dance, cavenit, be a headman, and so on.
And mine, you know, studied. Like a fool, on one five. But the headman, who grabbed two "threefolds", roughly speaking, with a scholarship. Because my non-galloping and non-singing coefficient is 0,9, and the headman has 1,15. And the points that my offspring earned by successfully passing the exams went to ... to ... for the benefit of the headman left.
So, 2000 hryvnia is a very big money in Ukraine. So for them it is very necessary to pack up.
Here you have the anecdote from the bowels of the Goloseevsky forest:
- Berimorenko, hto shout there?
- I beg your pardon, sir, has accumulated ...
Now here I sit, drink, and think about the past. About 2018. And I remembered a somewhat older past. From youthful love. Mankind, probably, has completely passed through such situations.
- Olesya, 150 grams of brandy for courage?
- Do not. I have already come to you brave ...
No, you do not think that I am humor ... This is my laugh through a belch.
Just like Ukraine in the EU and the USA. The brave came and ... everything happens by mutual consent. But in a perverted form. And on the other hand? We also need to understand. Remember - measure seven times ... Yeah. While you measure it seven times, others are already cut several times.
Tse our svіtle Maybutnє. Social feeding. Just like in Europe and zaochaniya.
I here conducted a small survey of fellow citizens about the President’s New Year’s address. We have and you have such a tradition. I do not know why, but we all listen to the president before the chimes. Every year the same thing. In the first part about the difficulties of the past year, and in the second part about the "sweets" that prepared for us the coming year.
So, try to guess who we listened to this year?
Poroshenko? Yah! This eternally drunk beggar listen shameful and disgusting. Your guarantor? To be honest, almost the same desire. Just not patriotic yet.
And listened to 7 from 10-ti huddles ... Lukashenko!
Today it is really the most popular politician in our country. Alas, only the Belarusian chiming clock and everything that happens in front of them is in trend today.
Cockroach just advised advice from Cockroach to write immediately. About how to celebrate this family drunk ... holiday. I do not know about you, but in December I already bought alcohol for the New Year three times. And I remembered about it that is why. Do not take pictures at the festive tables. But most importantly, do not post these pictures on the Internet! It is according to your photos in the presidential administration of any country who judge the welfare of citizens!
Late advice, of course, but better late than never.
Let's go back to the notes. Today I decided not to upset anyone. So that they would not accuse me of comparing Russia and Ukraine. In order not to watch, I pricked your country or not. In order not to offend and their compatriots. We are what they are. In general, I will write about the results of the year for Ukrainians and about Ukraine. Without touching the citizens of other countries for the scrotum ...
The most important outcome of the past year is that we survived! And many, including me, even stayed at home! This is not a simple matter. Do you know how many reforms we have already implemented this year? 144! Well, a couple of transformations conducted during the war, ugh, martial law. Total 146 pieces! Not the population, but resistant tin soldiers!
Another tip for the holiday. While thinking about the number of reforms for the 2018 year. So, on New Year, never abuse alcohol! Drink alcohol only kindly! They will answer you the same in the morning!
Tell you something else? In the city of V. eight years ago broke through the water pipe. The situation is banal. While the essence of the matter, the water washed a hole about eight meters in diameter. But repairmen arrived. Pipe changed. Water supply adjusted. But they decided to use the pit for the benefit of the local budget. They piled it with garbage!
From above the earth they have set everything up. There is water, no pits and no debris. Beauty. Only this beauty lasted until the next spring. Whether the garbage is a donkey, or something else, but the pit appeared again. Again, joy for utilities. Again covered with garbage. Saving!
A year later, the situation repeated again. And after two too. And after three! In short, and the cart, in the sense of the pit, is now there, and takes the garbage to the fullest. No worse than an incinerator! Here is such a fairy tale-true story. It is necessary that ufologists then checked. Maybe aliens?
And we live! Despite all the efforts of Reva, Omelyan, Klimkin, Parubiya, Suprun, Rozenko. Muzhenko, Kobolev and the Hydrant himself! We learned how to live without a state. More precisely, against the state. We do not even care about our foreign friends! I don’t know if you noticed that I haven’t been using the erased phrase about the light at the end of the tunnel for a long time? Do you know why?
That we are in the ass, that is, in the tunnel, we understand. And the fact that any tunnel should be the end, also know. That the “light at the end of the tunnel” is our long-awaited future is also guessed. But we adapted to live in the tunnel. Light is now needed only idealists.
We had a good year. From the point of view of learning life in extreme conditions. Suprun is such an experienced minister-teacher that today Ukrainians will not be surprised, for example, by “Ambulance” moving on scooters. Or the possibility and even the need to wet the Mantoux vaccine for its proper operation.
Yes there. Today we are not at all afraid of sitting in the cold. Minister-death convinced us of this. True, we are now afraid to cross our legs when we sit. But we are simply thrilled with happiness, watching the welding and waiting for another useful recipe from the Ministry of Health.
Do you know what Ukrainian street looks like at the weekend? Of those who follow the advice Suprun? Screwing the batteries in the apartments so that the temperature does not exceed 18 degrees, opening the doors so that there is always a draft, warmly dressed people, smiling and embracing, go to the urologist and gynecologist. But not all, but only those who have already turned 40!
Smiling go by pharmacies, where instead of drugs dietary supplements. Go without fear of infection. What do we all these measles and other flu! We are not afraid of an epidemic! Like this.
And again the advice from me. It is known that a glass of good red wine prolongs life for a year or two. But mathematics in this case is blatantly lying! Drink a bucket of wine you do not make you immortal! Checked on yourself.
Do you know what expression is most often heard today? And on the radio, and on TV? "Ukraine in the mainstream"! I specifically asked friends what it means. One to ten. One out of ten understood what it was all about. Although almost all used this expression. Like Hyperloop.
Can you explain what kind of beast it is?
And again I am with my life experience. On the morning of January 1 for the hot, it is best to cook dumplings! If you cook them 20 minutes, then it really will be dumplings. If you cook 40 minutes, you get pasta in a naval manner. Well, after 60 minutes, if the resulting product is sprinkled with grated cheese, you get a great lasagna!
But back to Hyperlup. In fact, this is a rather complicated engineering structure from a pile of tunnels, through which cargo and passenger cars will rush at a breakneck speed in a low-pressure environment.
In short, this is from the same series as the bears on the streets of Russian cities, as the Ukrainian space center in Australia, as the conquest of Moscow and Voronezh by us, as five airfields a year. Uh-uh, autobahns in Poltava region ... I already had the impression that thanks to the American laboratories on the Ukrainian land, something is being mixed into the air.
In the meantime, there is no way we can get traffic going to Borispol by rail. Yes, and in ordinary trains, shelves, sometimes, fall. These are our visions and Hyperlups ...
Give, perhaps, advice to married bachelors. And what, business everyday. In short, if, after the third glass, your neighbor seems to be the embodiment of unearthly beauty, urgently drink a couple more cups. Then you decide that you are not worthy of such a woman, and your family life, as well as your health, will remain in status quo!
Do you remember how quite recently enemy UFOs from Alpha Centauri blew up our military depots? Horror! And we survived. From above UFO, around agents of the Kremlin, saboteurs and separatists roam herds. The body, you see, he found the antidote to stupid things, abominations, betrayal and obscurantism.
We are practically and do not respond to attempts to cancel the Snow Maiden and March 8 or the purchase of 1000 pairs of socks in the NBU and headlamps for anti-corruption. And martial law?
It seems to me that Russia reacted to this situation more than we did. Laughed. Who needed it, was caged. Villagers and homeless people went to "relearn" in military units. And that's all. Russia did not return to the war again, although your border guards at the crossings were not so sleepy. And we knew it!
Why are there martial law. We will now be engaged in sex in a European way. Through the notary. This savages about some kind of love and desire to speak. And we, Europeans, first to the notary for a certified certificate of permission of the wife to use her body for sexual purposes, then the wife there, already for our permission to use, what else can be used for the same purposes. And who will try to fulfill a conjugal duty without a certificate - to prison! On 5 yo balanda slurp asian! Because sex - only by mutual consent. And, if before in the face, now in court.
But the main thing - we started! Born a twin bird to the finals! Well, we are slowly doing a poll here, who for whom will go, more than three hundred have already been interviewed on the streets and squares for New Year and Christmas. Slowly so privately, one might say.
And because our bird is not a troika, as in our Gogol, but a deuce. Poroshenko and Tymoshenko. They are quadrille in the final dance. And someone who zakadrit, he then, apparently, that he will plant.
But hh-s ... The work is not finished yet. Still ahead. But moved. Already people went from the Hydrant, to recruit an army of agitators. With payment in 1000 hryvnia. I think the youngest give. At least half taken away will compensate. And I'll go myself. Oh, I nagitiruyu, in the corners of the dark and wet ...
In fact, the next time I will write to you about quadrille in great detail. The administrative resource is good, but I will spend the holy evening not in Kiev, but in the very outback, at my parents. And there I will talk to the provincial people, what they breathe there ... And there they breathe differently than in Kiev.
By the way, here's a sketch from Kiev streets. New Year is a new year, and even people of art want to eat. Bargaining ...
And the main news. I was already overwhelmed, asked, you know, true or not.
Inter and 1 + 1 channels (this is where I saw it myself), and they also say others, vying with each other, tell you that you, that is, Russians, are taking over the village every day. There, in the Donbas. And our valiant APU cannot do anything about it ...
People have to tell the truth. And how without it?
After the fourth at one such meeting, my fantasy broke out, and I betrayed it. So much so that he himself presented everything, believed and sobered up with fear.
... Snow-covered fields and rare islets and stripes of forest. Melting a snow exhaust in front of them, Russian soldiers stubbornly crawl forward, drag mortars, guns and Tanks. All are not just drunk, but, as we say, "in jiuzi" ...
It’s just that I can explain to the people that they are sober that such a modest speed of advance of the Russian army is on a drunken head. It is clear that one village per day is more than modest.
But you know that on January 1 we had a Bandera march. There were eagles walking, ready to do anything for the sake of the proud Ukraine ...
What a pity it is that the eagles are not enough. The media broadcast about two thousand, overcame the morning of January 1, but I whisper to you in secret that they were 600 people from their strength ... And I don’t even want to say more about this subject. My mouth tastes bad.
But it’s scary for the dull ... Yes, and intelligent too. How can you imagine your "polite" slowly creeping in darkness and snow ... Br-r ...
In the meantime, the "green men" have not yet crawled to Kiev, once again all on the holiday! Health to you and your family, friends and relatives. Thick wallets and big pods. Full refrigerators and cellars. Happy smiles to your children. Pride for you to your wives.
By the way, I remembered yesterday’s conversation with the Tarakanushka. "Oh, you will get it from me. They will catch and send to Siberia! (I even choked, Siberia is not ours). Of course, like a Decembrist, I will go with you. To the frost. To mosquitoes and midges. But you should buy me a fur coat in advance ! " In short, she set the task using local material.
Everything. All successfully complete a difficult period of long rest. Will live!
Information