Military Review

Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. New Year's Eve Buch Bubum

29
Greetings, my friends! With enemies and other nasty, ugh, opponents today I will not greet. This is not my state of the body today, to greet everyone in a row.


In general, I returned back to my Kiev and translated in the literal and figurative sense. I transfer from your Russian through our Russian back to Ukrainian.

Ask what it is and what I am under. I will answer as always, thoroughly and in order.

Having been to your Voronezh and Belgorod, I still almost a day stuck in Kharkov. Tickets, all the same tickets from shob them. Empty trains, of course, skip past stations.

Well, here I walked around Kharkov, and, let's say, I will tell you that if he is different from the same Belgorod, it is only because with a certain effort one can find signs and signs to the huge move. I emphasize - if you try hard. I tried hard and found it.











No, it is clear that the greatest market of Ukraine is not a place ... Eh, sorry, is this really not a place for a competitive person? Uh ...

Yes, today I live is somewhat difficult. Frankly, I want to tear, throw and throw! But there is no strength, and the head is buzzing like an alarm bell on Hagia Sophia. Boom-Bubum, Boom-Bubum.



And from the kitchen Tarakanushka is also a boo-bubum, boo-bubum. Educates. Me. And on the contrary, I should be honored as a witness of a great event. Witness right in this very Hagia Sophia. We there with other "nations in one person" waited for the decision of the unifying council of some kind of our church.

Well, like real men, we decided to unravel this mysterious crap with the church. And how should the individual's brain activity be strengthened for the qualitative participation in a brain attack? Right thought. Do not send us a messenger ...

In short, it turned out that the messenger was not to be sent anywhere. Remember I somehow showed you the square in front of Hagia Sophia? And is there enough drinking establishments of mulled wine type? Vooot ... That's why my head still hurts today.



And those guys who keep all these kiosks with drinks, during the time of my great standing, or rather ours, were repulsed all investments in their commercial project. Imagine? Everything, from obtaining permission to trade to the purchase of goods and bribes to the police ...

No, seriously, this is hihans for you, and on Sunday evening the owner boasted that in two days of this gathering I had traded 110 thousand hryvnias. The bulk of the clients were holy fathers of all stripes and ranks, from which it was impossible to breathe on the square! I was not here, I was hanging out there, in Mordor, but now I am catching up!









I used to think that in the Slavic tradition to drink the bride, to drink for the victory or in memory of the past, to celebrate the holidays. It turned out that most need to drink to understand! We thought that the sober does not understand only in female beauty. It turned out, and everything else. Including in faith. Or drank from hopelessness? Or maybe they tried to shut up their conscience ... I don't know.





Recently, I have ceased to understand the logic of events around me. Today, literally, I spoke with one figure from Ukrtransgaz. He made me a complete idiot and left. And I again think and understand the Ukrainian.

I hope you know that we have reduced the tariff for the transit of gas through our pipe twice. Yes, this is not a typo. At all cross-border points, the tariff has been reduced from 12,47 $ to 6,04 $. We went to a loss of profit in about 22 billion UAH! And all for ... profit.

Sat here. I thought. Sick head. Well, I had ... Like any normal person in a dark corner. He recovered and understood everything. You just can not guess. Our cunning plan can only be understood by our people!

Imagine, the cunning Gazprom is sitting, scratching the belly and all the questions of Vsymir about the Ukrainian pipe are so brazenly responding. Pipe Ukrainians wrong design. Soon, it will rust through. Yes, and there is a transit through Ukraine Nemer your dollars and euros. And here is a fucking Ukrainian bam lad to Gazprom for a greasy skull.

You're lying, shameless muzzle! Our transit is the cheapest. And so on the table in front of Vesmir clap documents with tariffs ... Gazprom will harden here, fall to its knees before Vesmir and ask Ukraine to continue to drive Russian gas to Europe. And transit pipelines to all kinds of Kitai, Pakistan and India will allow them to pass through the territory of the Square ... For honesty, our selflessness.

Ugh. This is not for you, I looked in the mirror. And you know what I understand? I am a brave, even a brave Tarakan! There is such a terrible Shestilap with crazy eyes reflected ... And I'm not afraid of him! Here I am not afraid at all!

Although who am I writing this? Those who do not notice the second resolution in the Crimea in one week already from the UN General Assembly. I tried to understand what was written there, and that was all ... I gave up, got scared and signed my own incompetence. You could even say, frightened a little.

Guantanamo torture does not even hide. Ours burned alive in Odessa did not seem to be noticed either. Tens, and maybe hundreds of thousands of killed civilians in Asia seem not to exist. But the great director Sentsov is. Well, this one, Emir-Usain Kuku is. Even Baluch is ...

Although I understand you perfectly. More precisely, I understand the nature of your courage incomprehensible to Americans and Europeans. You also have in the store for courage. There is something that this general assembly does not have. They didn't give money for this resolution ... But I will not extradite you. Heroic solidarity ...



Have you ever noticed that the famous saying “there is no smoke without fire” is never used by those who have ever been on a camping trip in the early spring, winter or late autumn? And the easiest logical path is always associated with "pour"?

So I decided to find those who are just like me sick, just on another occasion. "Whose foot is this leg!" Antipodes of their own. Where "pour" does not sound from difficult questions or your own mirror heroism, but from happiness.

Do you think this does not happen? It happens! But how? Only the majority of the older generation has already forgotten it. And the younger generation just hasn't come yet. But hopefully will come. In short, I went to the ... hospital. To dismiss all speculation and smirks I will say, the cockroach was not in the business.

Well, at first I was out there in competition. Come on Tarakan, let's think up a name for my son (daughter). You are a very good friend! Well, I tried. In short, in Kiev in the 2018 year, most often the newborn girls were called Sophia, Zlata, Maria and Milana, and the boys - Maxim, Artem, Alexander and Dmitry.

And then the soul flew to paradise ... Hmm. The notorious last glass, which is superfluous. Among the names of Kiev babies in 2018 in Kiev were the following: Yesenia, Roksolana, Radan, Teresa, Iris, Aghay, Fain, Yasnoveda, Zlatoyar, Kassandra, Rada, Katalei, Magdalen, Melody, Kai, Lukeria, Greta, Carmen, Vesta . Women's, of course. But with the male order was, more precisely, a mess. Azarius, Marcel, Zlatozar, Swarg, Cyprian, Zakaria, Samuel, Faddey, Leonard, Solomon, Radomir, Darko, Severin, Oscar, Jeremiah, Pharaoh, Mihvey.

After all, how well began. "Are you going to see your friends for a long time? No. Quickly I will get drunk and back ..." By the way, by the way, now not only to the maternity hospital, but to the kindergarten, either with my foot. Children grow up. Suddenly, the daddy of some Katalei or Leonard will meet. Or worse, mother ... Hmm.

I remembered here. We, those who are sick in the morning, are very popular fishing. You know, on weekends, with a fishing rod, on a river or a lake. Silence. Horilka is cold. Even his wife, if God forbid, flooded after, relaxed. Do not roar after each glass.

So, we had such a friend - Pasha-Float. And his wife is just a burdock. On each fishing trip with a fishing rod, he sits and gazes so that someone without it will not give up the glass. In short, not a woman, but a ferocious beast. Like lice.

And suddenly...

- Pavlo, and where is your half favorite? You said you wouldn't go fishing without her?

- Oh her. She catches more fish. And drinking ... also more.

This is what I need. Drink something not only here or with you. Drink and there, at the top. And they drink and then hope that no one will understand their drunken logic. With sober passes focus. But I did not move away after the unifying cathedral! And who drinks more, it is still necessary to look. I or the Hydrant with all my bravado.

You, probably, heard by the edge of your ear that we once again mined the station? On Saturday, good Santa Claus said that the station is ready for a grandiose woman. They brought the bomb there and hid it somewhere. Naturally, as it should be in such cases, all were lifted up to their ears. Many cars with sirens. Sappers, National Guard, police. Well, zero in the end ... The Christmas tree at the station square was strongly crushed during the search ...



At the same time, our defenders started a check on the Sofia tree. After all, the object! Checked up. The result is the same as at the station. But with the Christmas tree ... In short, from the side to see - drunk in the drybadan tree with us. Barely standing. Yes that I, colleagues since the morning sick, I explain.

Remember what happens to the face in the morning? That's what happened with the Christmas tree. Since morning. Crumpled and looks not comme il faut. Only without fume.

We, in the sense of me and the Hydrant, understand that straightening the face of the face of the Christmas tree before Christmas will not work. Well, before the first Christmas, 25 December. Only the Hydrant thinks that he is alone in this thinking state.

And I turn around the mustache. Smelling, one might say, provincial stench. From where the manure will pull. It is interesting. Well, it's not just that the authorities started this bomb mine. Eh, I love mother nature for her attitude to cockroaches. She rewarded us with flair ...

So here. In Kiev, and dangerous, and in general, there is nothing on the Maidan Square, where fighters for independence have shed their blood, to arrange dancing with singing. We don’t have Moscow after all, it’s possible to roll up concerts in a cemetery with mass celebrations.

This is not me, this is the press service of the Hydrant, if that. And now you will pounce on me, as if it was me who set up a branch of the Novodevichy cemetery on Red Square. In the Kremlin wall.

But we smell, with you everything is just and clear. And we sank right away from both sides. From Lviv and Vinnitsa. The bottom line: you need to remove the main Ukrainian Christmas tree from Kiev! Move the capital of the main Christmas tree in Vinnitsa. No, move the capital of the Christmas tree to Lviv!



Vooot ... Right now I’ll give up a little, have a snack and continue.

Here Tarakanushka asked me a puzzle. That's all they say - the ship is in distress. And what will happen if the ship does not want to endure? I thought I caught a genius husband on chaff. Anyone in the morning to the sick is clear answer, like dawn! If the ship does not want to endure, it becomes a stone submarine!

So here. With Vinnitsa everything is clear. This is the fiefdom of the Hydrant. And in the kingdom's birthplace is always the capital of capitals. First, the tree, and on the second term, and all the rest of the capital there drag. Dreams of any regional center that does not know what it is to be a capital and how many nerves it will spoil you.

Much more interesting povanivaet from Lviv. You can shove all your capitals in your pockets. In which city is the most interesting architecture? In Lviv! In which city produce the most delicious chocolate? In Lviv! And who has the most delicious beer in Ukraine? The question is controversial, but they believe that in Lviv (by the way, yes, there was a beer that was necessary. - Ed.). And where are the most stranger tourists? Also in Lviv.

In short, dear Ukrainians, pennies remain today, and quite large, only in Lviv. And we do not need shag grandmother about the capital. The capital is where there are many, many attendants. Not those old separatists who live in the east of Ukraine or in Kiev, but real attendants who live in a wallet or in a bank account.



Now tell me, is it worth sobering?

Those who are for a healthy lifestyle should immediately send me a bar of soap and a rope. As compassionate citizens. But I still will not listen to them. My neck is so arranged that hang one more problem. And the psyche is even worse. Even my own cockroach stand calmly. And all these stupid "cleverness" from the Hydrant is generally the level of a kindergarten.

Well, the last. Horilka ends. The cockroach somehow holds the rolling pin in a special way. In short, "the pension has been settled in the quarter", may Vladimir Semenovich forgive me. In general, the cumulative pension system in Ukraine will not be introduced from 1 January 2019, because there is currently no ready mechanism for implementing this.

Whose are you oldies? Well, there is no mechanism for you, and that's it. I think that such a conflict awaits you too. But then, unexpectedly. The word is a significant one. It seems that two faces of the muzzle are beating each other, and it seems that the clutch of fruits during childbirth during a multiple pregnancy.

Okay. Head clears up. Sobriety comes and romance goes away. It is necessary to finish the notes in order not to provoke a melancholy attack in the readers. That's why I love my Tarakanushka, so this is my ability to calm me down. More often with words. Sometimes a rolling pin. But the main thing is the result.

And you successful shopping and markets. Full refrigerators and cellars. Beautiful Christmas tree with sticks for a holiday. And that let's stop being sick in the morning! Sober problem is easier to solve. Kiss your Tarakanushki. Just like that, for no reason. Kiss today - there will be a chance not to get drunk tomorrow. Holidays are on the nose.

Smile and we will live!
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  1. Same lech
    Same lech 25 December 2018 05: 42
    +5
    On Saturday, the good Santa Claus announced that the station was ready for a grandiose babah.

    They say that Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden were banned there and the stations as a result, Santa Claus and St. Nicholas are mining ... the country has fun without waiting for the New Year ... you stay there for two weeks ... until the people sober up. smile
    1. 210ox
      210ox 25 December 2018 06: 21
      +3
      No ... On the contrary, Santas became Mahmuds .. About the Snow Maiden I’m not sure .. Maybe they’ve become gariki .. Tolersty and decommunization however ..
  2. Li17
    Li17 25 December 2018 06: 43
    +3
    Hello! I read, I read and ... I realized that the author really has broads! As usual, everything is in the title! By the way, about the priests there was a very interesting program on UkrTV, it seems on UNIAN. Beautifully there, correspondents showed a hidden camera about their affairs, they sold them a wine surrogate and showed their cars! They are all smeared with the same world of business, ahead they are only in the picture of the Last Judgment, this was indicated to me by one minister. And what else I noticed, I don’t even know, in Krajina for some reason I’m afraid of my wives, it’s like with them ... well, it’s like a Ukrainian feature of life. We, too, seem to be similar and come mostly from there, but excuse me, schob woman here with a rolling pin and start equal !!!! Nevertheless, the Caucasus is for you ..... And about the Ukrzaliznitsa very well on Sunday there was a program Radar dedicated to her (Newswan channel). The ass with the woman is full, and in all directions!
  3. parusnik
    parusnik 25 December 2018 07: 19
    +5
    We do not have Moscow after all, it is there that you can throw concerts in the cemetery with mass festivities.
    .... Kicked, still .... laughing Don’t worry, Tarakanushka, just like you desovetizirovatsya .. Only slowly, not like yours ... Just now, a giant of literary thought, in honor of the 100th anniversary of his birth, the monument was opened, with honors .. I paid tribute to the opening .. They tried to beat Mannerheim’s daughter, just don’t worry about it ... you’ll decommunize and desovetize ... And there are museums to Vlasov and Krasnov, private ones, but there are ..
  4. svp67
    svp67 25 December 2018 08: 00
    +4
    About koradsky hi
    Our burned alive in Odessa didn’t seem to be noticed either.
    At least they remember these, but the ones who were burned in the House of Trade Unions in Kiev were FORGETTEN.
    But the great director Sentsov is
    Yes, he’s so great and not reachable that few saw his masterpieces or a masterpiece of cinematographic art ... although he (the only one) is even on the Internet, it’s NOT INTERESTING to watch it
    Smile and we will live!
    All that remains for us ... drinks With the upcoming !!!
  5. asp373
    asp373 25 December 2018 09: 00
    +5
    Good wound, pan Ukrainian. But your Ukrtransgaz cockroach is absolutely right.
    Here's the thing. We have gas to the place in which Ukraine lives. You can drown the whole of Europe for more than one hundred years. Europe’s own production is depleted, and our gas needs more and more. Gas must be delivered from Siberia. Gazprom has built 3 pipes around the ground and will drive them to the fullest in order to repel the headstock for construction. But these volumes are few. A delta is formed in demand, which needs to be filled somehow. Europe can buy LNG from a tanker, but it is expensive, and it can pump it through Ukraine. Gazprom will not pay for the costs of Ukrainian transit - it has so many customers in bulk. Therefore, it is necessary to nenka dumping to get at least some money for transit. Even less than before, but if they persist, then there will be absolutely nothing.
  6. IGU
    IGU 25 December 2018 09: 04
    +4
    Thank you for the views of the night, winter city. Holiday greetings!
  7. akunin
    akunin 25 December 2018 09: 15
    +8
    all residents of the independent (guides and helpers)) with a new ... state holiday, the birthday of Bandera, let him climb into each pipe and pile you ... gifts full of socks (I wonder who harnessed to his sleigh?).
  8. Pessimist22
    Pessimist22 25 December 2018 09: 31
    +3
    And where are the names of Maidan, Peremoga, Bezviz, Sugs?
  9. BAI
    BAI 25 December 2018 10: 13
    +3
    1.
    Catalea

    Well this is seen enough movies.
    2.
    once again the station was mined

    For this reason in St. Petersburg yesterday the Ploschad Vosstaniya metro station was closed.
    3.
    good Santa Claus said

    So in Ukraine, it seems that they refused Grandfather Frost in favor of Nikolai the Pleasant?
    And in general - today or tomorrow - tomos, that’s the topic!
  10. wax
    wax 25 December 2018 11: 30
    +1
    Something from the cockroach humor crumbles. Sorry.
    1. domokl
      domokl 25 December 2018 11: 39
      +9
      So he honestly said that he went through the vodka lol What humor is in this state.
      But seriously, I wouldn’t joke too much in their situation. Living on a powder keg is not sugar. Especially if you smoke like a steam locomotive.
    2. Baloo
      Baloo 25 December 2018 18: 34
      +4
      Quote: Wax
      Something from the cockroach humor crumbles. Sorry.

      Could our friend show the pharmacies that on the shelves there is an abundance of bioadditives and other mura, which are not medicines, toothpastes, cosmetics? And how much are analgesics, heart medications. I'm not just asking. The figures for population decline, the ratio of fertility to mortality are impressive. Yeah, with such a minister of graves ....

      We were not very lucky either. In the USSR, surgeons were the best ministers, the specificity of the specialty requires the ability to see the future and quickly make the only right decision, multiplied by a heightened sense of responsibility for someone else's life.
      1. Avior
        Avior 25 December 2018 20: 57
        +2
        this?

        17 UAH (about 40 rubles)
        https://online-apteka.com.ua/catalog/analgetiki/analgin-dibazol-papaverin-tabl-10-interkhim/
        Expensive?
        1. Baloo
          Baloo 25 December 2018 21: 17
          -1
          Quote: Avior
          Expensive?

          No, pleasantly surprised. sad Only the label is embarrassing, suggestive. belay I’ll go through the pharmacology textbook again, and at the same time look at colloidal, organic and inorganic chemistry. request
          And what, it’s true that people are being treated, this miracle is not Suprun invented? sad
          1. Avior
            Avior 25 December 2018 21: 23
            +1
            I don’t know, I’m not a doctor, I opened the first pharmacy I got and looked at the analgesics.
            painkiller, as I understand it
            1. Baloo
              Baloo 25 December 2018 21: 30
              -1
              This miracle drug is intended apparently for the elderly, suffering from pressure. However, hypertension alone does not happen. This is always at one degree or another atherosclerosis and a whole range of related problems, in which this mixture in one tablet can even nail. From one or three times, maybe nothing will happen, but who knows. When prescribing pills, I always focus on three directories: Vidal of the current year, radar station and official manufacturer's annotation.
              About 40 years ago, and so treated, but now ....
              1. Maksus
                Maksus 25 December 2018 23: 10
                +1
                Baloo, maybe you shouldn't try to demonstrate your "knowledge" here? Well, what does "hypertension and atherosclerosis" have to do with it? You should at least open a book on patfiz, and not textbooks on chemistry, even colloidal, even organic.
                1. Baloo
                  Baloo 26 December 2018 08: 18
                  0
                  Quote: Maksus
                  Baloo, maybe you shouldn't try to demonstrate your "knowledge" here? Well, what does "hypertension and atherosclerosis" have to do with it? You would at least open a book on patfiz,

                  Metamizole sodium, also known as analgin, will not help everyone, it can do much harm once.
                  Study the question, it will come in handy. 40 years ago, this "troika" was popular. And then, the design of the packaging will strain a word.
                  In patphysis it is more attentive about atherosclerosis, more bristling. How about cast iron, hurry up, duralumin is coming.
                  1. Maksus
                    Maksus 26 December 2018 20: 08
                    0
                    And what do you mean by that? I’ve been working as a doctor for 18 years and I know this is clearly better than you. Do not disgrace.
                    1. Baloo
                      Baloo 26 December 2018 20: 32
                      0
                      Quote: Maksus
                      I have been working as a doctor for 18 years and I know this is clearly better than you. Do not disgrace.

                      I am almost two times more, experience in 8 specialties, 6 had the appropriate training. One of the imposed deadlock topics by the head is the quantitative measurement of chronic pain. I believe that you know best of all, what YOUR is for?
                      Rubber deadlock topic.
                      1. Maksus
                        Maksus 26 December 2018 23: 12
                        0
                        Well, how did you manage to get so many certificates? For a quantitative measurement of pain, the VAS or YOUR scale has long been invented, as in your comment. It was only invented by us long ago and not with us, that is the problem.
                        By rubber do you mean condoms?
                      2. Baloo
                        Baloo 27 December 2018 08: 51
                        +1
                        [/ quote] [quote = Maksus]
                        Well, how did you manage to get so many certificates? For a quantitative measurement of pain, the VAS or YOUR scale has long been invented,

                        Prailno. But this is half the answer. How should it be applied and for what? I suggest: ... during the day. Two certificates, the remaining certificates for improvement, specialization in the USSR and in the Russian Federation when there was no certification.
                        Resinium is your creativity. Vannadiy is a joke, interest was in the reaction of the community. Old-timers did not react, youth reacted.
                        Regarding tungsten-melting point? To understand the barbarism of polygons: the ammunition filled with tungsten dust was blown up in the air, the temperature was not communicated, but it is not difficult to imagine. what happens in the lungs if inhaled.
                        As for analginum, the elderly should be used very carefully, bearing in mind the associated complications of coronary artery disease.
  11. AleBors
    AleBors 25 December 2018 11: 54
    +4
    Informative. And sad. It is clear that it is impossible to perceive everything around with a sober mind, but health is not iron ... But reluctance to sober up, I understand .... drinks
    And regarding any innovations, such as the abolition of pensions and newly appointed heroes, we are catching up with you. And catch up. We have great potential. wassat
    I wish the Cockroach good and peace, optimism and prosperity, and well, strong health ... I would have saved it .. fellow
  12. The leader of the Redskins
    The leader of the Redskins 25 December 2018 16: 32
    +2
    Well you, Cockroach, are you breaking your readers' heads and tearing their aura? !!))) I read your note, looked at the pictures, and I became thoughtful ... minus for this mercilessly, but here again! And it seems to be so!
    How many times have I written that the Russian language does not suffer in Dill, they don’t beat him, they don’t put him on his knees ... Right in Kiev, for sure .... Maybe where in the Carpathian villages they practice, but not in the center. and not in Kharkov, as you can see, too)))
    And the Ukrainians do not die of hunger. Also you put the pictures ...
    And not impoverished, completely! Again, bargained points for two days, I understand about, 4 thousand dollars? What to say ... not bad ...
    But how can VO readers now live in marshal's shoulder straps? They also got a lot of pluses on the topics covered, "titles" and "pluses," and you got them like that. Now, not otherwise, it is necessary for all "generals" to take a "mouse". go to the kitchen and shoot like true officers .. laughing
  13. The comment was deleted.
  14. ustas - Crimea
    ustas - Crimea 25 December 2018 23: 43
    +1
    With coming you Cockroach and your Cockroach. fellow Do not be lost. And be careful with the New Year’s vodka. drinks
  15. Mih1974
    Mih1974 26 December 2018 07: 30
    +1
    What was that now? belay I personally did not understand, if you are "sick" - lie on the sidelines, get medical treatment. Why throw out your "pain" on paper if it is "tinsel" - so at least you have "aggression and war", at least in several areas. But we have - "no money, but you hold on." And this is no longer a joke: there are persistent rumors about gasoline at 90 r by the new year and something else. Clever guys say "the government" does EVERYTHING to bring the people to the streets (under any horror) and throw Putin off and do as you do negative
    And after all, it is impossible to dispute, everyone is one to one, and they say "they lie about high grain yields, because that way you can sell more of it, which means that soon the truth will emerge that there is no grain in Russia and there is really nothing to bake bread from." That is, the already forgotten "registration" results in the fact that on the elevators and storage facilities - the grain heaps, and in fact - the mice died of hunger. And what would you believe - recently they publicly stated that 200 THOUSAND TONS of grain were stolen from "state storage facilities" belay you just try to imagine how much it is. So it turns out on the pieces of paper "all is well beautiful Marquise", but at any moment we are "at a broken trough." So do not get fooled, no one yet knows who will run where, you to us or we to you ((
  16. vit357
    vit357 26 December 2018 19: 49
    +2
    "Greetings, my friends! I will not greet enemies and other nasty, ugh, opponents today."

    Most of the citizens of Okraintsy have enemies everywhere, I sympathize)))
  17. Alexander X
    Alexander X 29 December 2018 21: 26
    0
    And this phrase surprised me: in the article, the author quotes the seller of mulled wine. Like 110 thousand gr. earned on the sale of alcohol to clerics. And this is the post! Orthodox Christians fast now. The second most important. And their priests, schismatics ferment ... That's their whole church ... IMHO ...