Greetings, my friends! With enemies and other nasty, ugh, opponents today I will not greet. This is not my state of the body today, to greet everyone in a row.
In general, I returned back to my Kiev and translated in the literal and figurative sense. I transfer from your Russian through our Russian back to Ukrainian.
Ask what it is and what I am under. I will answer as always, thoroughly and in order.
Having been to your Voronezh and Belgorod, I still almost a day stuck in Kharkov. Tickets, all the same tickets from shob them. Empty trains, of course, skip past stations.
Well, here I walked around Kharkov, and, let's say, I will tell you that if he is different from the same Belgorod, it is only because with a certain effort one can find signs and signs to the huge move. I emphasize - if you try hard. I tried hard and found it.
No, it is clear that the greatest market of Ukraine is not a place ... Eh, sorry, is this really not a place for a competitive person? Uh ...
Yes, today I live is somewhat difficult. Frankly, I want to tear, throw and throw! But there is no strength, and the head is buzzing like an alarm bell on Hagia Sophia. Boom-Bubum, Boom-Bubum.
And from the kitchen Tarakanushka is also a boo-bubum, boo-bubum. Educates. Me. And on the contrary, I should be honored as a witness of a great event. Witness right in this very Hagia Sophia. We there with other "nations in one person" waited for the decision of the unifying council of some kind of our church.
Well, like real men, we decided to unravel this mysterious crap with the church. And how should the individual's brain activity be strengthened for the qualitative participation in a brain attack? Right thought. Do not send us a messenger ...
In short, it turned out that the messenger was not to be sent anywhere. Remember I somehow showed you the square in front of Hagia Sophia? And is there enough drinking establishments of mulled wine type? Vooot ... That's why my head still hurts today.
And those guys who keep all these kiosks with drinks, during the time of my great standing, or rather ours, were repulsed all investments in their commercial project. Imagine? Everything, from obtaining permission to trade to the purchase of goods and bribes to the police ...
No, seriously, this is hihans for you, and on Sunday evening the owner boasted that in two days of this gathering I had traded 110 thousand hryvnias. The bulk of the clients were holy fathers of all stripes and ranks, from which it was impossible to breathe on the square! I was not here, I was hanging out there, in Mordor, but now I am catching up!
I used to think that in the Slavic tradition to drink the bride, to drink for the victory or in memory of the past, to celebrate the holidays. It turned out that most need to drink to understand! We thought that the sober does not understand only in female beauty. It turned out, and everything else. Including in faith. Or drank from hopelessness? Or maybe they tried to shut up their conscience ... I don't know.
Recently, I have ceased to understand the logic of events around me. Today, literally, I spoke with one figure from Ukrtransgaz. He made me a complete idiot and left. And I again think and understand the Ukrainian.
I hope you know that we have reduced the tariff for the transit of gas through our pipe twice. Yes, this is not a typo. At all cross-border points, the tariff has been reduced from 12,47 $ to 6,04 $. We went to a loss of profit in about 22 billion UAH! And all for ... profit.
Sat here. I thought. Sick head. Well, I had ... Like any normal person in a dark corner. He recovered and understood everything. You just can not guess. Our cunning plan can only be understood by our people!
Imagine, the cunning Gazprom is sitting, scratching the belly and all the questions of Vsymir about the Ukrainian pipe are so brazenly responding. Pipe Ukrainians wrong design. Soon, it will rust through. Yes, and there is a transit through Ukraine Nemer your dollars and euros. And here is a fucking Ukrainian bam lad to Gazprom for a greasy skull.
You're lying, shameless muzzle! Our transit is the cheapest. And so on the table in front of Vesmir clap documents with tariffs ... Gazprom will harden here, fall to its knees before Vesmir and ask Ukraine to continue to drive Russian gas to Europe. And transit pipelines to all kinds of Kitai, Pakistan and India will allow them to pass through the territory of the Square ... For honesty, our selflessness.
Ugh. This is not for you, I looked in the mirror. And you know what I understand? I am a brave, even a brave Tarakan! There is such a terrible Shestilap with crazy eyes reflected ... And I'm not afraid of him! Here I am not afraid at all!
Although who am I writing this? Those who do not notice the second resolution in the Crimea in one week already from the UN General Assembly. I tried to understand what was written there, and that was all ... I gave up, got scared and signed my own incompetence. You could even say, frightened a little.
Guantanamo torture does not even hide. Ours burned alive in Odessa did not seem to be noticed either. Tens, and maybe hundreds of thousands of killed civilians in Asia seem not to exist. But the great director Sentsov is. Well, this one, Emir-Usain Kuku is. Even Baluch is ...
Although I understand you perfectly. More precisely, I understand the nature of your courage incomprehensible to Americans and Europeans. You also have in the store for courage. There is something that this general assembly does not have. They didn't give money for this resolution ... But I will not extradite you. Heroic solidarity ...
Have you ever noticed that the famous saying “there is no smoke without fire” is never used by those who have ever been on a camping trip in the early spring, winter or late autumn? And the easiest logical path is always associated with "pour"?
So I decided to find those who are just like me sick, just on another occasion. "Whose foot is this leg!" Antipodes of their own. Where "pour" does not sound from difficult questions or your own mirror heroism, but from happiness.
Do you think this does not happen? It happens! But how? Only the majority of the older generation has already forgotten it. And the younger generation just hasn't come yet. But hopefully will come. In short, I went to the ... hospital. To dismiss all speculation and smirks I will say, the cockroach was not in the business.
Well, at first I was out there in competition. Come on Tarakan, let's think up a name for my son (daughter). You are a very good friend! Well, I tried. In short, in Kiev in the 2018 year, most often the newborn girls were called Sophia, Zlata, Maria and Milana, and the boys - Maxim, Artem, Alexander and Dmitry.
And then the soul flew to paradise ... Hmm. The notorious last glass, which is superfluous. Among the names of Kiev babies in 2018 in Kiev were the following: Yesenia, Roksolana, Radan, Teresa, Iris, Aghay, Fain, Yasnoveda, Zlatoyar, Kassandra, Rada, Katalei, Magdalen, Melody, Kai, Lukeria, Greta, Carmen, Vesta . Women's, of course. But with the male order was, more precisely, a mess. Azarius, Marcel, Zlatozar, Swarg, Cyprian, Zakaria, Samuel, Faddey, Leonard, Solomon, Radomir, Darko, Severin, Oscar, Jeremiah, Pharaoh, Mihvey.
After all, how well began. "Are you going to see your friends for a long time? No. Quickly I will get drunk and back ..." By the way, by the way, now not only to the maternity hospital, but to the kindergarten, either with my foot. Children grow up. Suddenly, the daddy of some Katalei or Leonard will meet. Or worse, mother ... Hmm.
I remembered here. We, those who are sick in the morning, are very popular fishing. You know, on weekends, with a fishing rod, on a river or a lake. Silence. Horilka is cold. Even his wife, if God forbid, flooded after, relaxed. Do not roar after each glass.
So, we had such a friend - Pasha-Float. And his wife is just a burdock. On each fishing trip with a fishing rod, he sits and gazes so that someone without it will not give up the glass. In short, not a woman, but a ferocious beast. Like lice.
- Pavlo, and where is your half favorite? You said you wouldn't go fishing without her?
- Oh her. She catches more fish. And drinking ... also more.
This is what I need. Drink something not only here or with you. Drink and there, at the top. And they drink and then hope that no one will understand their drunken logic. With sober passes focus. But I did not move away after the unifying cathedral! And who drinks more, it is still necessary to look. I or the Hydrant with all my bravado.
You, probably, heard by the edge of your ear that we once again mined the station? On Saturday, good Santa Claus said that the station is ready for a grandiose woman. They brought the bomb there and hid it somewhere. Naturally, as it should be in such cases, all were lifted up to their ears. Many cars with sirens. Sappers, National Guard, police. Well, zero in the end ... The Christmas tree at the station square was strongly crushed during the search ...
At the same time, our defenders started a check on the Sofia tree. After all, the object! Checked up. The result is the same as at the station. But with the Christmas tree ... In short, from the side to see - drunk in the drybadan tree with us. Barely standing. Yes that I, colleagues since the morning sick, I explain.
Remember what happens to the face in the morning? That's what happened with the Christmas tree. Since morning. Crumpled and looks not comme il faut. Only without fume.
We, in the sense of me and the Hydrant, understand that straightening the face of the face of the Christmas tree before Christmas will not work. Well, before the first Christmas, 25 December. Only the Hydrant thinks that he is alone in this thinking state.
And I turn around the mustache. Smelling, one might say, provincial stench. From where the manure will pull. It is interesting. Well, it's not just that the authorities started this bomb mine. Eh, I love mother nature for her attitude to cockroaches. She rewarded us with flair ...
So here. In Kiev, and dangerous, and in general, there is nothing on the Maidan Square, where fighters for independence have shed their blood, to arrange dancing with singing. We don’t have Moscow after all, it’s possible to roll up concerts in a cemetery with mass celebrations.
This is not me, this is the press service of the Hydrant, if that. And now you will pounce on me, as if it was me who set up a branch of the Novodevichy cemetery on Red Square. In the Kremlin wall.
But we smell, with you everything is just and clear. And we sank right away from both sides. From Lviv and Vinnitsa. The bottom line: you need to remove the main Ukrainian Christmas tree from Kiev! Move the capital of the main Christmas tree in Vinnitsa. No, move the capital of the Christmas tree to Lviv!
Vooot ... Right now I’ll give up a little, have a snack and continue.
Here Tarakanushka asked me a puzzle. That's all they say - the ship is in distress. And what will happen if the ship does not want to endure? I thought I caught a genius husband on chaff. Anyone in the morning to the sick is clear answer, like dawn! If the ship does not want to endure, it becomes a stone submarine!
So here. With Vinnitsa everything is clear. This is the fiefdom of the Hydrant. And in the kingdom's birthplace is always the capital of capitals. First, the tree, and on the second term, and all the rest of the capital there drag. Dreams of any regional center that does not know what it is to be a capital and how many nerves it will spoil you.
Much more interesting povanivaet from Lviv. You can shove all your capitals in your pockets. In which city is the most interesting architecture? In Lviv! In which city produce the most delicious chocolate? In Lviv! And who has the most delicious beer in Ukraine? The question is controversial, but they believe that in Lviv (by the way, yes, there was a beer that was necessary. - Ed.). And where are the most stranger tourists? Also in Lviv.
In short, dear Ukrainians, pennies remain today, and quite large, only in Lviv. And we do not need shag grandmother about the capital. The capital is where there are many, many attendants. Not those old separatists who live in the east of Ukraine or in Kiev, but real attendants who live in a wallet or in a bank account.
Now tell me, is it worth sobering?
Those who are for a healthy lifestyle should immediately send me a bar of soap and a rope. As compassionate citizens. But I still will not listen to them. My neck is so arranged that hang one more problem. And the psyche is even worse. Even my own cockroach stand calmly. And all these stupid "cleverness" from the Hydrant is generally the level of a kindergarten.
Well, the last. Horilka ends. The cockroach somehow holds the rolling pin in a special way. In short, "the pension has been settled in the quarter", may Vladimir Semenovich forgive me. In general, the cumulative pension system in Ukraine will not be introduced from 1 January 2019, because there is currently no ready mechanism for implementing this.
Whose are you oldies? Well, there is no mechanism for you, and that's it. I think that such a conflict awaits you too. But then, unexpectedly. The word is a significant one. It seems that two faces of the muzzle are beating each other, and it seems that the clutch of fruits during childbirth during a multiple pregnancy.
Okay. Head clears up. Sobriety comes and romance goes away. It is necessary to finish the notes in order not to provoke a melancholy attack in the readers. That's why I love my Tarakanushka, so this is my ability to calm me down. More often with words. Sometimes a rolling pin. But the main thing is the result.
And you successful shopping and markets. Full refrigerators and cellars. Beautiful Christmas tree with sticks for a holiday. And that let's stop being sick in the morning! Sober problem is easier to solve. Kiss your Tarakanushki. Just like that, for no reason. Kiss today - there will be a chance not to get drunk tomorrow. Holidays are on the nose.
Smile and we will live!
Notes of the Colorado Cockroach. New Year's Eve Buch Bubum
- Tarakan Okoloradsky
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