Saga of the escape from dying Russia to a prosperous Ukraine

The post “Russians from Novokuznetsk who moved to permanent residence in Sevastopol” is walking on the Internet.

Small, finely floats ukropskaya propaganda! This story worthy of an epic about the unfortunate Russian family, which has undergone incredible trials on the way to the realization of the dream of his life - to emigrate to Ukraine.

We will not draw a saga, but we can sketch a brief outline of the future masterpiece.

The Pharaohs Saga

Family scandal

Mikhail Prokopovich stood at the door and nervously crumpled his cap in his hands.
Wife howled:
- How long will we live in this Raschka? Look, all the neighbors have already changed Russian citizenship into Ukrainian and are moving to Ukraine! Shlyapnikov changed his last name on Kapelyukh and goes to Zhytomyr, Noskov is now Shkarpetko and moves to Poltava, Chobitok has become Sapozhkov and is taking his family to Kherson. Soon we will be alone in the house. But we have the most rights to migrate to our historic homeland! Unlike them, we have a genuinely Ukrainian surname!

Mikhail looked dumbfounded at his spouse. He never thought that the last name Pharaoh has Ukrainian roots.
“Yes, papa,” an 14-year-old son told him reproachfully, “everyone knows that the ancient ukry built the Egyptian pyramids, and the Pharaohs were Ukrainian Cossacks.” This is a historical fact.
Prokopovich was silent. He knew that his surname had come from his great-great-great-grandfather, who served as a police officer.
- Anya ...
- Not Anya, but Gunn! How much can you repeat! Oh my God! My mother told me ...! Tomorrow, go to the Ukrainian embassy, ​​drop there on your knees, sob what you want to do, but the day after tomorrow we all have Ukrainian passports. We won’t leave for Ukraine - I’m gonna stop and conscience will torment you all my life! Children will not forgive you!
“I won't forgive you,” the son confirmed.
Mikhail Prokopovich barely restrained himself from spitting on the floor (sorry, the floor had just been washed) and left the apartment, slamming the door.

He himself understood that it was time to get out of this country. He could go to the UK, Germany, USA - but what should he do in these third world countries? If you leave, only to Ukraine.

Ukraine ... Throughout Russia, from Smolensk to Vladivostok, from Arkhangelsk to the Caucasus, “Ukraine” was breathed and rolled its eyes. A country where there is no evil Putin, officials do not take bribes, everyone can travel to Europe without a visa, milk and honey flow, they spend maidan every year ... He visited this divine country and spent his 2 year there were the best times of his life.

Oh, why he did not stay there? Why come back? He hoped to get some rest and wind up again in a blessed country, but Ukraine closed its doors to Russian guest workers and, as it turned out, forever.

Of course, there were ways to go to Ukraine, but ... expensive, very expensive, the services of black brokers even for him, a modest Russian billionaire. Mikhail Prokopovich took a cell phone out of his pocket, found the right phone in the contact list and sighed: apparently, you still have to sell a couple of dozen oil wells. But he and his family will be Ukrainian citizenship.

Black Broker Uncle Alik

- Uh, young man! It’s not so easy as you think - a smart old man put Mikhail Prokopovich on a squeezed sofa - everyone now wants to go to Ukraine. Just see what is being done - he turned on the TV.
Against the background of the “112 Ukraine” screensaver, the man in embroidery and tie said hysterically:
- As immigrants from Africa flooded Europe, refugees from Muscovy fill Ukraine. This photo was taken today at the Ukrainian Embassy in Moscow.

Mikhail Prokopovich saw on the screen a multi-kilometer winding queue resting on a low building. Although Mikhail Prokopovich had never been to Moscow, the building seemed familiar to him. He was especially convinced of this when the towers of the Moscow Kremlin flashed in the background.
“So, the mausoleum of the Ukrainian embassy was handed over, but I did not know. Completely behind the times, ”thought Mikhail Prokopovich with distress.

The man in the embroidery was replaced by a man in a uniform jacket.
- Today, customs officers have stopped another attempt to illegally cross the border of Ukraine. The carrier of sewing accessories, having decided to earn some money, tried to import two dozen Russians to Ukraine, declaring them at customs as dummies. All detainees were deported back to Russia.
Frames with gloomy men with their hands tied behind their backs, sobbing women and a resolute girl with a poster “I am a girl! I do not want to Russia! I want lace panties and Berdichev! "

“Yes,” Uncle Alik sighed, “happy times have passed.” Now you can't just cross the border. Only at night, bypassing posts ...
- I'm ready! - Mikhail Prokopovich jumped up.
“Dangerous,” Uncle Alik shook his head. “If we run into frontier guards, you will be in big trouble.” You may have to fight back improvised means.
Mikhail Prokopovich presented his spouse with a rolling pin at the ready and thought: “This is a big trouble for the border guards”, however, he realized that he would not be able to offer a night walk through the thicket in his wading boots to his spoiled comfort mate.

- So, there is no way out? - Mikhail looked sadly at the broker.
- Did I say that? There is always a way out.
Uncle Edik sat next to Michael.
- This path is somewhat long, but it is absolutely reliable. 100% warranty!
Michael looked questioningly at the "seller of happiness."
- I arrange for you to move to the Crimea. Sooner or later, the Crimea, Voronezh, Belgorod, Kuban, etc., the native Ukrainian lands will become part of Ukraine. And those who manage to settle in these territories will become Ukrainians on quite legal grounds. Just need to hurry. And it is expensive. Very expensive.
Hearing this, Mikhail Prokopovich mentally added his own mineral oil to the oil wells - the gold mine.

Two months have passed

Mikhail Prokopovich asked the taxi driver to stop. The son and wife of Pharaoh came out and rushed to the clew under the rock.
- Our? - with delight shouted Pharaohs son. - Dad, is she ours?
“Ours,” said Mikhail Prokopovich, and waved the paper issued to him in Simferopol, “ours forever.”
Wife was silent. Tears of delight choked her.
Looking around and making sure that the taxi driver had left, Mikhail Prokopovich pulled out the flag of Ukraine from behind his bosom:
- The time will come and we will hoist it on the roof of our house. In the meantime, let him lie down here, and with these words put him in a hole at the threshold and cover him with stones.
And then the whole Pharaoh couple stood in front of the house and sang a hymn to Ukraine in a whisper.

PS From Clima Horseshoes

If any ukropsky patriotic publishing house wishes to publish “Saga of Foraonah”, or a film company to film it, the author is ready to sell his copyright with the condition to transfer the fee due to him to the fund of Russian refugees who emigrated from Putin's regime to a free Ukraine.

Comments

[LSA57]

to publish the Saga of the Phoraons, or to film a movie company,

Duc there is no one to film. "director" for terrorism is sitting and "starving"

[cariperpaint]

This is not the most) since August 10 there is some kind of family from Ukraine, who went to rest in the Crimea for communication does not come out. The censor is already standing) soon we will find out that they are being tortured in the dungeons of the KGB)))

[New Year day]

Quote: cariperpaint

since August 10 there is some kind of family from Ukraine, who went to rest in the Crimea for communication does not come out. The censor is already standing) soon we will find out that they are being tortured in the dungeons of the KGB)))

in vain you are so. The family disappeared in the Crimea, and by the way, is not the first.

One was found murdered at sea. This is grief.
Crime is growing in Crimea. This is evidenced by the data on the number of crimes recorded in the republic for January-April of the current year, published by the statistics agencies of the Crimea with reference to the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs.
In just four months, 7 crimes were recorded on the territory of the peninsula (this is 445% compared to the same period in 107,4). The number of grave and especially grave crimes increased even more significantly - they were committed 2017 thousand 1 (666% compared to last year).
The criminal situation prevailing in Crimea is not very typical for Russia. According to the Federal Statistical Service, for the 1st quarter of the year, 483 thousand crimes were registered in the country (97,6% compared to last year), and 112 thousand were serious and especially serious (97,2% by 2017).

[Igoresha]

well, not much good

[konstantin68]

Quote: Igoresha

well, not much good

You? Sorry!

[major147]

Quote: Silvestr

Quote: cariperpaint

since August 10 there is some kind of family from Ukraine, who went to rest in the Crimea for communication does not come out. The censor is already standing) soon we will find out that they are being tortured in the dungeons of the KGB)))

in vain you are so. The family disappeared in the Crimea, and by the way, is not the first.

One was found murdered at sea. This is grief.
Crime is growing in Crimea. This is evidenced by the data on the number of crimes recorded in the republic for January-April of the current year, published by the statistics agencies of the Crimea with reference to the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs.
In just four months, 7 crimes were recorded on the territory of the peninsula (this is 445% compared to the same period in 107,4). The number of grave and especially grave crimes increased even more significantly - they were committed 2017 thousand 1 (666% compared to last year).
The criminal situation prevailing in Crimea is not very typical for Russia. According to the Federal Statistical Service, for the 1st quarter of the year, 483 thousand crimes were registered in the country (97,6% compared to last year), and 112 thousand were serious and especially serious (97,2% by 2017).

KP - Ukraine
Missing in the Crimea a young family from the Dnieper was found, but angered users. On August 23, the Kilivnik family already crossed the border with Ukraine and contacted relatives.

The fact that the family was found was reported by their loved ones in the comments on the Facebook wanted list. It turned out that the tourists did not even suspect that they had been lost. They drove to the village of Mezhvodnoye in their car and, obviously, simply did not buy a SIM card to communicate with relatives.

Finding no place for themselves, the parents of the spouses even went to Crimea. The search was also complicated by the fact that relatives could not file an application with the Ukrainian police, where they said that they had no connections on the peninsula, or with the Foreign Ministry, which considers Crimea to be Ukrainian territory.

A family with two children went on vacation on August 8 and stopped contacting after two days.

- And indeed, as it turned out, we rested. Now they will explain to us one by one and ask for forgiveness from the two countries, ”wrote Tatyana Kritskaya, a family friend.

[rum]

Silvestr (Sylvester) - can one show * evidence * that * indicates data on the number of crimes recorded in the republic for January-April of the current year *? When you read online newspapers find out where the newspaper itself is and who the owner is And according to the missing, who is the first and who is the second? Or did you fart and the rest should smell your stink? Where are the zing links?

[KLV2018]

Quote: Rum

Silvestr (Sylvester) - can one show * evidence * that * indicates data on the number of crimes recorded in the republic for January-April of the current year *? When you read online newspapers find out where the newspaper itself is and who the owner is And according to the missing, who is the first and who is the second? Or did you fart and the rest should smell your stink? Where are the zing links?

rummage on sites of the investigation committee and the prosecutor general’s office.

[Barzha]

My former colleague who lives in Poltava, and whom I call to visit, to Moscow. He is afraid. Although, as a railroad worker, having free travel once a year, he always came before. Justification: The FSB will pick me up right away! And who will look for me where?
I say: What are you,? Why do you think so? We have so many of your brother coming to work !!! And he told me: They are coming. And how many are missing? I say: Of course, in six months of earnings they find themselves a new woman and "disappear" ... for a wife and children in Ukraine.

[konstantin68]

Quote: Silvestr

in vain you are so. The family disappeared in the Crimea, and by the way, is not the first.

Resort cities and sea coasts have always been "famous" for the special attention of the criminal world. This must be remembered.
And in order not to write just like that, it is necessary to bring "Ukrainian statistics" of 2010, for example, and compare, because everything is known in comparison. And in your opinion, it turns out that crime increased when the Crimea returned to the Russian Federation.

[gsev]

Moscow’s example shows that crime has decreased markedly compared to the legacy of Gorbachev and Putin. Virtually disappeared purses and pickpockets. All this is the result of a difficult and intense struggle. In order for the underworld not to be tempted to return the lost freemen and get involved in politics, the Sentsov terrorist must serve his full term.

[nekromonger]

I think they all were eaten alive.

[Oleko]

Poklonskaya to turn there.

[rocket757]

The truth, as always, is somewhere there, and not here.
We do not have everything as good as we would like, but everything depends on us .... the option of go to Krajina, which is doubtful from the word at all. Houses need to be put in order.

[d ^ Amir]

fund of Russian refugees who emigrated from Putin's regime to free Ukraine

very vain the author is so kidding !!! how many are there already, martyrs ???? not one dozen already, the fee will be sued !!!!!

[Igoresha]

some Natsik and mugs beat))

[d ^ Amir]

about!!! and why minus that ??? anyone with a sense of humor in any way ????

[Mentor]

Quote: cariperpaint

that they are being tortured in the dungeons of the KGB

Lord, explain to these poor people that you have the FSB ... The KGB of Belarus is already tired of your exports, our "bloody executioners" have enough of their clients (judging by the reports of opposition sites)

[Sergey39]

The author needs to enlarge the work to a novel and post it on Flibust. Enthusiastic reviews from Svidomo readers guaranteed

[BAI]

Smiled. The author should try his hand at the "Information Front".

[Klim podkova]

And what is this resource, "Information Front"? Newspaper, website, magazine?

[BAI]

The site says that the news agency "News Front". Represents the LDNR. https://news-front.info/ Feuilletons also prints. But there the news can be presented in such a way that it will not seem like a little.

[Klim podkova]

NewsFront? I know they post my lyrics regularly.

[Vadim Golubkov]

But many believe ....... We have Mordor, especially in the Crimea.

[g1washntwn]

Salowood will remove this epic and present it as a documentary based on real events.
In Crimea, beauty, Mordor in the United States, there is already a monument to Satan in one of the states.

[major147]

Quote: g1washntwn

Salowood will remove this epic and present it as a documentary based on real events.
In Crimea, beauty, Mordor in the United States, there is already a monument to Satan in one of the states.

And what about the "straight out of hell" sanctions? It says a lot.

[Vanek]

Get used to it. You are now immigrants *

[sxfRipper]

If a dill patriotic publisher wants to publish the "Saga of the Phoraons", or film company to film

Here for a multi-year series of material is enough! Morning nose Game of Thrones !!!

[igorbrsv]

Look for "klim horseshoe and panas pendyura"

[Klim podkova]

It's nice that my "creativity" has admirers.

[igorbrsv]

At first I took a coin when I read, until it came to the end

[igorbrsv]

. Political technologist, graduate student of the National Academy of Public Administration under the President of Ukraine - Crimean Rustem Emiraliev opened the first Crimean Tatar cheburechny in Lviv

This one posted his post about the "Russian" while delirious. I also checked the Russian - there was no

[Alex_59]

I know several newcomers from Odessa. I ask: "what, everything is bad there, if you are coming here?" All as one say, no, everything is fine there.
But as one, they come here. Paradox.

[air wolf]

Enough to carry nonsense, father and mother (Russians) have been living in Crimea since 2001, they say that now it has become much calmer, all the homeless people have disappeared overnight and there has been silence. After a couple of years, everyone will forget that they lived in Ukraine! And the denser the sanctions from mattresses, the greater the likelihood that the entire Russian-speaking and normal Ukrainian population will return to Russia and probably with the territories in which they live.

[Moreno]

Just a great article!